the sound of my heart exploding

Driving Home

DeanCas Coda to 12x12

Dean’s sweaty hands grip and re-grip the steering wheel as he surreptitiously looks over to the passengers side. It’s weird to be driving Cas’s truck, but he insisted under the pretense of letting the angel rest—”Like hell’m gonna let you drive home, Cas. Get in the car.”

Castiel stares listlessly out the window. Dean swallows thickly.

“…So, are we gonna talk about it?”

No answer.


Dean’s heart is beating a mile a minute and he’s convinced he’s gonna be sick. When he side-eyes his angel (and he can say that now, because apparently the idiot loves him), Cas is gripping the edge of his trench so hard his knuckles are white. 

“Castiel,” Dean says. His full name feels foreign on his tongue. “You–You can’t just leave me hangin’ here, man.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dean.”

Dean’s heart sinks.

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inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”


Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

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Games & Flames (Rivals AU Playlist)

I made a playlist a few months ago to release some of the feels from reading @kazliin​‘s Rivals AU fanfic, Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches (which is seriously one of the best Yuri on Ice fics written out there and yOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ IT!!!!) but then the companion fic came, and the feels dam just fucking exploded again. I just kept hearing songs that sounded like they’d go nicely with the fic, and I knew I had to make another playlist.

And so here we are! I call this playlist Games & Flames because Viktor seems to like playing mind games and playing with fire hahaha rEAD THE FICS AND YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY. also because I like rhymes. Here’s a link to the series again for reference! Details on the playlist and more of my ramblings about why I chose the songs are under the cut~

YouTube | Spotify*

*One of the songs in my list is not on Spotify, I’m so sorry!

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Escape: A Peter/Gamora ficlet

(A/N: Spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 & 2. Is anyone else dying to know the story of drunken Peter telling Gamora about David Hasselhoff? Here’s my headcanon of how it went.)

“If you like piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiña coladas!”

Gamora lifted her head from the book between her slender fingers and glanced with mild annoyance at the off-key exclamation that had just come from outside of her hotel room door. Her lips threatened to smile, but she refused to, despite being in her room where no one would see it. It was the principle of the thing, after all. She wouldn’t admit even to herself that Peter Jason Quill could be amusing on rare occasions.

“Getting’ caaaaaaught in the rain!” Peter’s voice continued. “If you’re not into yogaaaaaaa! If you have half a brain!”

Gamora snapped the book shut and stood up as she heard a fumbling, scratching sound. She pressed the button to slide the door open and affixed her lovely face into a bemused look. “Peter, what are you doing?”

Peter Quill abruptly stopped his caterwauling and blinked a few times. “Oh. Hey, G’mora. Whatcha doin’ in my room?”

As soon as he spoke, she caught a wave of alcohol fumes. It made sense. They’d just gotten paid for another job and the boys’ idea of celebrating was flying to the nearest habitable planet and getting completely trashed, spending most of their score, and bickering with each other. Baby Groot had curled up on a pillow on Gamora’s sofa, mumbling in his sleep every so often. Judging by his dilated pupils and shaky footing, Peter was all but three sheets to the wind.

“Your room is behind you,” Gamora said patiently. “That’s why the key card didn’t work.”

“Oh, man,” he said, his face falling with actual regret, to her surprise. “M sorry, G’mora, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m such a jerk.”

“Usually, yes,” she said frostily. “But not in this case. I wasn’t asleep. I was reading. However, you might want to apologize to the hallway full of guests who had to hear your shrill voice through the walls.”

“You’re so right,” he agreed, and then tilted his head to bellow, “SORRY, EVERYBODY! DIDN’T MEAN TO WAKE YOU UP!”

“SHUT UP!” someone shouted back.


Gamora palmed her face. “Peter. Your room. That way.”

“Right, right, right. Sorry. G’night, G’mora.” He swiveled on his heel and walked up to the door. She watched him try to slide the card in eight times before finally sighing to herself and closing her own door. She snatched it out of his hand and placed it inside the hole. The door whooshed open and Peter stumbled inside, but not before turning and giving her an admittedly adorable smile.

“You’re a life saver, beautiful.”

She shook her head and caught his hand, dragging him towards the bed. “You need sleep or you will be too hungover to fly us out of here in the morning.”

“Well, one thing you’ll find out about me is that I bounce back like that.” He tried to snap his fingers on his free hand. “That. No, that. C’mon. That.”

Gamora sighed. “I will never understand why you find this infuriating state of intoxication so enjoyable.”

“Rocket said I couldn’t out-drink him,” Peter said defensively. “He was wrong. I won.”

“Did you have to buy every round to prove him wrong?”

Peter paused. “Yes.”

“Then no, you didn’t win. Rocket just wanted free drinks.”

Peter scowled. “Little trash panda.”

Gamora again refrained from smiling as she continued pulling the sheets down. She turned and helped him out of his red leather jacket. She felt his gaze on her and ignored it, brushing it off even though she felt her skin warming over her face and neck, over her shoulders, and in the tips of her fingers. Her heart beat mocked her with its accelerated pace. She tried to picture him as a child getting ready for bed, but it didn’t work. He was too close, too warm, and under the scent of alien beer was a rather nice, mild cologne.

He lifted his arms as she pulled off his outer shirt, still strangely silent and watching her fold it and set it on the nearby couch. Finally, when she turned around, he made a move.

He hugged her.

She stiffened, having expected something else. Stranger still, it was completely wonderful. He kept his hands on the small of her back and buried his nose behind her ear and into her dark hair. She hadn’t been held in years. Decades. Not since her parents. Gamora had lovers in the past, but none of them were permitted to touch her that way. This…it was affection, not lust.

And it scared her even more.

“You’re so good to me,” Peter mumbled with a sigh. “I don’t deserve it. I’m sorry.”

She shut her eyes for a second. “Peter…”

“No, really. Thank you, G’mora. I know I get on your nerves all the time. S’ just ‘cause I like you. You’re pretty and smart and so much stronger than me. Dunno how you do it.”

Gently, she settled her hands on his chest and pushed until she could meet his gaze. God, his eyes were all for her, like there was nothing else in the entire cosmos. No one had ever been foolish enough to do such a thing. Maybe that was why he did. Peter Quill defied everything, and her expectations most of all.

Heart in her throat, she smiled weakly. “Guess that’s just how my father raised me.”

She led him over to the bed and pushed him to sit. He obeyed and she knelt, unlacing his boots. “Bet he was a great guy. Probably smart like you too. Y’know, when I was a kid growing up and everybody else had a dad and I didn’t, I used to pretend that he was this famous actor.”

Gamora’s brown eyes widened and flicked up at Peter’s face. She’d never heard him say much about his father since they left Xandar. She’d gently tried to ask about his life before Yondu abducted him, but he wouldn’t talk about it. She licked her lips, unsure of how to proceed. She wanted to know, but she also didn’t want to invade his privacy while he was drunk. Eventually, she softened her voice and kept unlacing his boot.

“What was his name?”

“David Hasselhoff,” Peter slurred. She frowned, unsure if that name was correct or if his drunken state had altered it somewhat. “He was this German icon. He could sing and dance and his biggest success was this TV show with a talking car called Knight Rider. It was the coolest thing I ever saw.”

He fumbled for a second and pulled a slip of paper out of his pants pocket. She took it, examining the square-jawed, fluffy-haired man that he apparently idolized. “Why him?”

Peter shrugged. “He’s the coolest man alive. Who wouldn’t want him for a dad?”

“No,” she said softly, rising and sitting beside him. “Why tell the others it was him? Why not just pretend on your own?”

“I don’t know. Guess I just ran with what my mother used to tell me, that my Dad was perfect and not like all the other people on earth. Hasselhoff sounded like a good option at the time.”

He took the picture back and stuffed it into his pants. Gamora took the plunge. “Do…the others know this about you?”

He shook his head. Her stupid, selfish heart fluttered. “They’d probably laugh at me.”

Without thinking, Gamora reached over and slipped her fingers through his. He looked at her then. “No, they wouldn’t. Out here it’s hard to find family. They’d understand.”

He smiled, running his thumb along her knuckles. It tickled and sent butterflies exploding through her stomach. He leaned in towards her. Her eyes flicked to his lips. They parted as he drifted closer.

He kissed her cheek. “Thanks, G’mora.”

She felt a tug of disappointment at her core. “You’re welcome.”

“Stay with me.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

“Not like that, I mean…stay here tonight. Just tonight.”

“I…” Word clogged her throat and got stuck. She couldn’t look away from that hint of desperation and adoration on his face. Eventually, she just nodded.

He stood, drawing her up by the arm, their hands still connected, and she slid under the covers after kicking off her boots. She curled onto her side as Peter climbed in beside her and settled down, facing her. He smiled again, kissed the back of her hand, and snuggled down in the pillows, his eyes closing.

“Night, G’mora.”

“Good night, Peter.”

Slowly, she let her eyes drift closed.

And she never slept better.


I just have a lot of feelings about this ship, okay?!

anonymous asked:

OMGOMGOMG. Please, more of The Getaway! It's so cute and I can feel the fluffy angst coming our way. What happened to poor Claire?

anonymous asked:
The Getaway was fantastic!!! I absolutely LOVED it!!! Reminds me of my family holidays, the innocence of young love, and it makes me very nostalgic. Could you please continue it? It would warm my heart to see what happens next. Thank you, your work is always amazing!

The Getaway: Part 2.

Find part 1: HERE.

As the sun set on the end of their first week, Jamie sat alone in his room sipping on the cold beer his father had procured for him from the free bar. Placing the glass carefully on the coaster, he gathered up his reading book and lay back against his pillows, determined to get some rest in preparation for tomorrow’s planned activities.

All of the adults had gathered together for the evening to go out of the hotel and eat together. Jamie had coaxed Claire from her room on the promise of food and company, promising to return her early enough that she could relax for the rest of the night.

They’d had a good time. Claire had been talkative, in fact they had conversed more in one dinner time than they had all week.

After their first afternoon out, the pair had been wrapped up in the whirlwind of trips that their parents had planned for them all and neither had really had a moments peace.

Just as Jamie was reaching to turn off his nightlight, an almighty crash sounded from the room beside his.


His mind immediately raced with all manner of possibilities, but before he could consider the danger, he’d ripped the sheets from the bed and rushed from the room, forgetting to even put something on his feet as he began pounding on the Beauchamp’s combined rooms.

“Claire? Are ye alright?” He asked between knocks, trying to keep his voice low in order not to disturb any other guests, “Claire, please?”

The sound of a stifled sob made his ears prick as he leaned against the cool wood to try and hear her better. “Claire, can I come in?” He almost begged, his chest constricting painfully at the thought of her alone and upset.

Friends, he scoffed internally, hardly likely.

“It’s open…” a low voice spoke, hardly audible and from –possibly– deep inside the suite.

Twisting the knob, Jamie pushed lightly, causing the door to creak as he opened it and slid inside. Closing it to, he padded through the main lounge and into the tiny single room that Claire occupied.

At first he couldn’t spot her, sat as she was beside the best, but then he caught sight of her hair, the mass of curls spiking in all directions as she lay her head back against the mattress.

“What’s the matter?” Jamie whispered as he walked around the bed and knelt at her side.

He could see the fresh tear tracks that ran down her face, the thin moonlight filtering through the net curtains throwing a melancholy blue hue over her curled form.

“It’s nothing, honestly, Jamie,” she murmured back, her voice unsteady as she tried to show some strength.

“It isna nothing if it has ye on the floor in tears, Claire.” He returned, unwilling to accept that she was fine. She wasn’t, that was clear to see.

Her cheeks flushed as she viewed him –with some caution– out of the corner of her eye. “I just had a nightmare, that’s all. Don’t worry, really. I have them all the time. It was just waking up in a strange bed that startled me more than usual.”

Jamie reached his hand forward to brush a wayward lock of hair from her damp brow, bringing his digits down lower afterwards to wipe away some of her tears.

“Does this happen every night?” He asked, softly, the need to acquire as much information about her overwhelming him.

“M-most,” she stuttered, sliding herself off the floor as she shift the twisted bedsheets, straightening them out as best she could, keeping her hands busy as she spoke, “but when I’m at home I’m not usually so…jumpy. Here, with the h-heat, and the strange room –and bed– I’m more hyper-aware, I think.”

“Do ye want to talk about it?” Jamie broached, his tone wary but open as he tried to offer his support.

Claire squeezed the cotton linens between her fingers tight, her knuckles going almost white as she licked her lips and shifted her feet against the cold tiles of the bedroom floor. Shaking her head, she glanced towards him once more, a beautiful pink glow lighting her high cheekbones.

“Would you just…stay with me, just for a little while?” Shrugging her shoulders, she let the much abused sheets go, watching as they fluttered slowly back onto the top of the bed, ruffling once more as they landed in a small heap.

Claire didn’t dare look up, lest he reject her.

He could feel her vibrating, her knees shaking as she waited for his response. She wanted to talk, of that he was sure, but she was also hesitant.

Jamie had yet to learn of the traumatic event that had her so subdued, but if she needed him to rest with her whilst she relaxed, he would do it.

“Aye, o’ course, Claire.” He replied, finally, making his way around to the other side of the bed and holding the sheets up for her to crawl under.

Wrapping her up to her waist in the flimsy fabric, he curled himself by her side, fitting himself neatly onto the queen sized mattress.

Claire closed her eyes and shimmied herself to his side, nuzzling her nose against the exposed skin of his collarbone as she snuck her arm around his waist.

As they settled, a sort of calm quiet rose up around them. Jamie was half convinced she’d fallen asleep in his arms. And, although he didn’t altogether mind (in fact, quite the opposite), he knew their parents would riot if they came home to find Jamie in Claire’s bed.

Just as he was about to reignite the conversation, Claire shifted ever so slightly. The gently waft of her breath blew over his sensitive skin, making him shudder at the contact. It wasn’t long before he felt her blink her eyes open once more as she mentally prepared herself.

“It all started back in September,” Claire began, a hint of hesitance lingering in her tone as she relayed her story.

“He c-came from another school, the boy. He’d failed his A Levels and had been forced to take them again. But his previous school hadn’t allowed him to do that there. It all seemed innocent to us, back then.”

Pausing, Claire took a deep breath and steadied herself, her hands curling around the bottom of Jamie’s shirt as she grounded herself in him.

“He seemed nice at first, friendly, just the sort who wanted to fit in, you know? But then, after we came back from Christmas holidays he became really –intense…” gulping back the saliva that had gathered in her mouth, she took another deep breath.

Jamie could feel the fear radiating from her and he began rubbing soothing circles against her back as she let her shoulders slacken with every sweeping motion he made.

“Did he hurt ye, Claire?” He broke in, his voice low but steady. He had wanted to stay silent and let her just tell him, but his impatience got the better of him.

“He asked me out, we had a Valentine’s Day dance coming up and he’d wanted to take me…but I said no. I didn’t mind him as my friend, but–” stopping, Claire’s heart began to pound.

Jamie sensed the story was coming to a conclusion and brought his lips to her forehead as his silent gesture bade her to continue –at her own pace.

Not ready to admit the main reason she hadn’t wanted to accompany another to the dance, Claire shimmied her hips closer before finishing, an inbuilt need for close comfort rising inside of her at Jamie’s close proximity.

“I could see it made him mad, but I didn’t think anything of it. After that I didn’t see him again until after half term. I didn’t go to the dance, I had exam prep and I really didn’t want to go anyway…” steeling herself, Claire prepared to skip to the end, eager for this to be over once more, “I was studying with my science teachers after school one day, t-they’d all left moments before and I just stayed to pack up my books. He waited for me there. Jumped out when I came out of the lab and t-threw me against the lockers…I don’t, well, I–” she sobbed, squeezing her eyes closed tight as the images of that fateful day exploded before her eyes.

“Oh, Claire,” Jamie sighed, his heart going out to her as he hushed her and rocked her shaking body as best he could, “I’m sae sorry, mo chridhe.”

“I was lucky,” she whispered, sorrow laced into every syllable. She didn’t sound particularly lucky. “One of the teachers had forgotten his books and came back. He saw it all and forced him off me…I honestly don’t know what I’d have done without him.”

“You would have fought, Claire,” Jamie interceded, trying to lend her as much emotional support as physical, “ye would have screamed and punched and kicked as best ye could.”

Laughing humorlessly, Claire shook her head. “But I didn’t. He had me by the throat, his knee between my legs…I couldn’t even move to defend myself.”

“That wa’ just the shock. You are so brave, Claire Beauchamp, braver than me. I truly believe ye would have plucked up the strength. As ye have done to continue on as ye have after it.”

Running her damp lips against him, Claire let her tongue taste the salty-sweetness of him, her hands quivering as she pulled herself flush against him.

Now, a small part of her tried to reason, when she was in a heightened state of awareness and anxiety, was not the time to be making advances. Especially not on her parent’s best friends son.

“I lied before,” she said, her voice clear now as she sniffled, the last of her tears shed on the matter.

“About what, Claire?” Jamie returned, a low sort of seduction in his tone as he battled with himself.

She was so very warm and pliant –and she wanted him.

“I don’t want to just be your friend, but I was scared…so I lied.

Swallowing audibly, Jamie ran his nose down her forehead to the bridge of her nose, his eyes hooded as he kissed the tip of it. The reverent gesture sent lightning bolts of pleasure down Claire’s spine as she rolled her hips away from his and then back again.

Ah Dhia, Claire,” he gasped, goosebumps rising over his arms in waves as he tried to remain calm. “I want ye too, but we canna…”

“Why not?” She interrupted, need seeping though every word.

“Because yer hurting now. Ye’ve relieved all those horrid memories from only a few short months ago. I willna take advantage of ye when yer morale is low. That wouldna be verra gentlemanly of me–”

“It isn’t taking advantage, Jamie, if I *want* you,” Claire cut in, her hands resting softly against his lower back as she spoke, “but if you don’t want to, then I understand.”

Something about re-telling her traumatic tale had set alight the previously stagnant embers, causing a roaring flame to spark within Claire as she smoothly scooched her head backwards. Opening her now glazed eyes, she viewed him with a sort of wonder. The idea of him, the same Jamie Fraser she’d seen grow from a boy into a man, loving her made her thighs tingle pleasantly.

“Claire; how could I *not* want to?” He replied, his heart running at a million miles a minute as part of him actively contemplated this new situation.

Could he?

“Then come to me, Jamie,” she whispered, her tone seductive as she tilted her head against the pillow and moved forward, her lips hovering so close to his in askance. “I want you Jamie Fraser…to be the first –the only– one to make love to me.”

Without waiting for him to respond, Claire closed the gap, letting her lips seal tightly against his in a searing kiss. Her hands tugged at his shorts as she tried to untangle her legs from beneath the blankets without much success.

“Please, Jamie,” she half-begged, half-coaxed, their mouths parting only briefly for her to say the words, “I want this, I really want this. *I love you*”

Running his hand through her hair, Jamie lightly pulled Claire away, his eyes meeting hers in a very serious gaze. She was serious, in this moment, as they were, she was completely serious about this.

“Bloody hell, Claire, ye arena making this easy,” he sighed, resigned, “but I want this too. I want ye.”

For the second time that evening, the weight left Claire’s shoulders and she slunk towards him, a small smile adorning her lips. She could feel the victory just in her grasp.

“But I have conditions first, aye?”

Glancing at him with a wary expression, Claire nodded, urging him to continue.

“If yer still sure o’ this tomorrow, I promise ye I’m yours, ken? But I want ye to sleep on it –and–,” he finished, noticing her irritation at his stalling tactics, “I’ll make sure I have protection. I dinna have any on my now, and I willna do it wi’out protecting ye –and me– first. Do ye agree?”

Sighing loudly, Claire swallowed and nodded.

“I won’t change my mind, Jamie. But you’re right.”

Snuggling down once more, she clenched her thighs together, willing the fervour that had built within her to at least lessen as she closed her eyes and let her head flop against the soft pillow.

“Just don’t leave me,” she added sleepily, yawning as she spoke, “stay with me, Jamie. For tonight, please?”

Wrapping the comforter around her shoulders, Jamie nodded, shutting his own eyes now as he began to relax.

“Aye, mo nighean donn. I’ll stay wi’ ye. Sleep now, Claire –I love ye.”

Imagine having to dress up for a hunt and Gabriel realising he loves you

Word Count: 1289

Request by: @mrs-winchester-novak

 I love your writing! I was hoping I could request a gabrielxreader? It’s where the boys and the reader (who lives with them) have to go to a black tie event for a hunt and so the reader gets dressed up and asked Gabriel to be her date (cause she likes him) and so when they see each other they are baffled bc they both look so good and it’s super fluffy and cute bc they both are telling each other how good they look? They also confess their love for each other and it can lead on if you want:) 

Warnings (I guess): Implied sexy times boiii!

A/N: OH GOSH! I have a astronomy test tomorrow for GCSE’s and instead I’m writing fanfictions. Priorities, am I right?! Wish me luck on my test guys, cause Chuck help me I’m gonna need it. 

“No! Nope, no way!” You repeated as you paced back and forth.

Sam and Dean had both just told you that for the next hunt you needed to be used as bait as the ghost you were currently fighting only attacked girls and that the next location they would strike would be at a fancy ball meaning you would have to dress up sophisticatedly.

“I don’t think the Ghost would even go for me anyway!” You murmured to yourself yet due to the quiet room, the Winchesters heard you.

The idea of you wearing a dress and heels made you feel slightly insecure as it had been years since you had worn anything close to an outfit with such elegance, usually you would be most comfortable in a flannel jacket and some hunter’s boots they’re more practical anyway.

“Who would I even go with?” you questioned. Sam and Dean would have to fight the ghost when you lured it meaning nobody would be there to escort you to the ball, you would look out of place if you were alone-

You were cut out of your thoughts as the familiar sound of flapping wings filled the room.

“What’s this I hear about a party?” Gabriel snapped his fingers causing a sucker to appear in his hand before placing it in his mouth.

“It’s not even a party, it’s a ball,” You groaned still annoyed that you knew you would have to do this for Sam and Dean, “The Winchesters want me to act as bait at this fancy, shmancy dance but I have to get dressed up meaning dresses, heels and makeup and I’ll have nobody to go with which makes it extremely awkward and suspicious…” you continued to ramble on about all of the problems with this plan.

“I’ll go with you,” Gabriel simply said, pulling you out of your mini rant, “I mean, think about it, you won’t have to go alone, I’ll be there to protect you and also you’ll get to see how ravishing I am in a suit,” he added whilst wiggling his eyebrows at you causing a slight smile to appear on your face.

You knew that you could be in almost any situation with Gabriel and feel completely safe/calm next to him due to the slight crush you had developed on the archangel when you both first met almost a year ago, you had quickly become good friends and as that friendship progressed you tried your hardest to push away any feelings you had for him as you knew that he could never love you back but the feelings always seemed to resurface every time you saw him.

After what felt like an eternity of getting ready in the bathroom you were finally done. Your dress was black, tight and slimming and your high heels lengthened out your legs and height (even though you still wouldn’t be as tall as Sam or Dean in them) and your hair was curled giving it volume and a bounce as you walked. You turned and looked into the mirror and you were definitely pulling the outfit off.

“Ughh, Y/N are you done in there? It’s been ages, come on we have to go,” you heard Gabriel childishly moan from behind the closed bathroom door.

You chuckled to yourself at his impatience before opening the door to the bathroom and walking out.

Gabriels face dropped from all emotion as did his jaw as he took in your beauty.

Gabriels POV

She was beautiful; exceedingly beautiful. Her dimples made pretty craters on her skin as she laughed. Her lips seemed made to be kissed – and in no doubt, they were and she had the brightest most enticing eyes you would ever see. No words could describe how beautiful she was.

Snap out of it Gabriel, she could never fall in love with you. You’re an archangel, she’s a human. Why would she want to be with you when she could have a normal life?

Gabriel quickly replaced his jaw dropped, expressionless face with the smug smirk everyone knew him for.

Back to Y/N’s POV

You almost immediately noticed Gabriel’s shocked face at your appearance. Was it too much? Did I go over the top? Your thoughts ran frantically wild but calmed as you noticed what Gabriel was wearing and by gosh did it make the room feel instantly ten times hotter.

He was dressed in a sharp looking, well fitted suit which accentuated all the right parts of him. A black tie was hung from his neck and his hair was slickly pushed back. To say that Gabe looked amazing was a serious understatement, how the hell would people believe that I was seriously going out with him for this hunt.

“Y-,” Gabriel tried to speak but his voice wouldn’t allow him to, “Y/N, you look absolutely amazing,” his eyes roamed your body causing a heat to rise instantly to your cheeks.

“Me amazing? Have you seen yourself, you’re like the hottest person on the Earth right now,” you spoke without thinking. Gabriel’s eyebrows raised at what you said. If you weren’t blushing before, you definitely were now.

“I didn’t mean that- well erm, I kinda did, I mean-“ as you stuttered around and fumbled for the right words to say, a new found confidence overcame Gabriel and he stepped as close as he could to you, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist and his body pressing against yours.

You tried to look down as you were extremely nervous but Gabriel lifted one of his hands to your face, his thumb and finger pressed gently against your chin pulling your face so that you were looking directly into each other’s eyes.

“I have no clue how I’m going to keep my hands off of you during this hunt,” Gabriel leaned down and whispered into your ear sending a wave of pleasurable shivers down your spine.

Your heart slowed down to an almost stop as Gabe leaned in closer towards your lips until eventually, as cliché as it sounded, fireworks exploded in your stomach as you both locked lips. Your hand moved up to his head as you wrapped your fingers within his golden hair. Your pulse beat fast as you were drunk on emotions, his soft candy coated lips moved perfectly with yours. It felt like it would last forever but eventually it ended and you both pulled away.

Gabriel’s arm was still tightly wrapped around your waist and his body still impossibly close to yours, leaving you only wanting to lean in to taste his soft lips again.

“I suppose we should go on this hunt then, Sam and Dean are waiting for us,” you said with a slightly sad tone to your voice which Gabriel instantly picked up on.

“Nah, I have a better idea,” he said before clicking his fingers then scooping you up into his arms causing a shocked gasp and a slight giggle to escape your lips, “they think we’re with them in the back of the impala.”

He gently placed you down onto the bed before crawling on after you, his hand placed on your thigh as he looked lustfully into your eyes.

“Meaning we have plenty of time alone,” he nuzzled his face into your neck as he placed gentle kisses down it.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Gabriel murmured in between kisses.

“Oh trust me, I do,” you replied smugly before pulling his face into your hands and locking lips with his once again.

You could practically feel the love radiating off of both of you and you knew in that moment that the love you both felt would last forever.

Tags: @idji-bitchy-assbutt-jerk

My mother was diagnosed with cancer this month, it was a thing that happened without sound. I have been crying every night holding onto her as we laid on the ground together, she was right there beside me but I missed her so much I thought my heart would explode. But my father and I waited for hours today and it turns out it was a misdiagnosis, can you believe it? I can’t. I can’t! I thought a lot about all the meals I wanted to learn to make for her. When I was young she used to capitalize on the practice of having at least one Korean meal a day, and I suddenly felt that we were nearing a point where she would require me to do the same for her. So I was flipping through my mind thinking of the meals we usually eat at home that she might like. I thought, maybe I should prepare grilled seerfish or namul and soybean sprout bibimbap, but those are my dad’s favourites. Maybe I should make chive or kimchi pancakes, but those are my favourites. I was thinking of getting some expensive meats from our butcher on Steeles - but those are Seungji oppa’s favourites. When do you realize that your mother is a mother, that she will always love this thoroughly, to make your humanity stretch and reach and expand until everyone is full? For me it was just then, because I didn’t know what her favourite foods were because she never makes them for herself. She is too busy making all of our favourite foods. But it’s ok, because I am here and my mother is here and immediate and well and radiant. We are all here and that means there is still time to love. I am very very happy. As I write this I am happy. I hope everyone is having happy days like this too. 


Note: Tumblrs before anything, please turn DOWN your volumes because it’s really loud

So basically today,
holophernes (as April) and I went to a TMNT event at a local mall where you can meet & greet the Mascots.
(It was Leo & Donnie’s session today)

And In this 15 seconds both of us reverted back instantly into a child like state. 




anonymous asked:

Imagine Bucky asking Tony to install a secret camera on the ceiling above ya'lls bed. Not in a creepy way or anything, but because he finds it peaceful to watch you sleep. So whenever he's on missions & away from you, he can tap into the live footage & see you sleeping. & I mean... I guess it can also be used for other things

Oh my goodness my heart nearly exploded reading this!!

This would help bucky out so much when he’s gone. Like he’d wake up from a nightmare that you were hurt, and immediately go to his laptop to find it sound asleep in one of his shirts, hugging his pillow and murmuring his name in your sleep. Sometimes he’d just sit up all night watching you slumber peacefully.

BUT THEN. the night before he’d leave, you would both engage in some of the naughtiest sex you’ve ever done. Like he’d have you on your back with your legs spread as he fucked you into the mattress. And he’d be on his knees so that the camera can see every single thing.
When he’s away and that hand of his just won’t cut it, he watches the little movie.

Or when he’s away and you miss him. You’re in bed with your hands between your legs and screaming his name, just to tease the life out of him.

God help us all 😩🔥🔥🔥


Okay girl I’m back! I’m the anon who goes to art school with the guy Joon. For the sake of this story my name is gonna be Simone. 

I said I was gonna keep you updated so here I am. 

Okay so for a while I didn’t think that Joon liked me I just thought he was being really nice, but I talked to my friend about it and I think he likes me. So the other day when I was going downstairs to do my laundry I got off the elevator and Joon was sitting there with some friends. When he saw me he started singing “beauuuutifulll giiiiiirllll”  and then I laughed and he said “don’t make fun of my singing!” Girl mind you my skin ain’t light enough to blush, but I promise you I was turnin allllll shades of red!!!!!!

The next night I was coming back from the vending machine and he came off the elevator. He was talking to his friend, but he made sure to stop and talk to me about our homework that was due the next day. I told him I hadn’t done mine (lol whoops) and he was like same then he wished me good luck. 

A few days ago I didn’t show up to our major class in the morning, but I went to the one after lunch (it really sounds like I skip classes and don’t do homework, but I swear I do lol). At the beginning of that class he walked by me and tapped me on the shoulder then he said “Oh Simone you weren’t in class this morning. why?” My dumb behind got nervous and was like “Yeah I wasn’t lol” TT.TT After that class we walked back to the dorms with him and some of his friends and he talked in Korean. His friend was like “How come every time Simone’s here you always speak in Korean?!?!?” Then everybody laughed and I think my heart exploded!!!!!

Yesterday in our morning class we were turning in our projects and he waved to me, honestly just waved didn’t even say hello and I started stress sweating lolol!!!!!! I was so glad I put on deodorant!!

Today like an HOUR ago I went to recharge my dorm key because we swipe instead of having a really key and sometimes they just die for what ever reason. On my way there Joon walked up and saw my key and he was like “Oh your too?” and I said “Yeah it just stopped working I couldn’t get into the building” Then I walked with him for a bit and we talked about how annoying it was that they die so often. Then he had to go to the library and we said goodbye and omg….. 

I need help! How do I talk to him more? How do I make him know I kinda have a crush on him??? 

sEND HELP Y'ALL!!!!!! He’s too cute I’m havin’ heart palpitations!!!!!


Summary: The book was wrinkled and faded, withered from use. Dan just wanted to sleep. Fluff.

A/N: During this I kept thinking of that one Papa John’s commercial where it’s with the alien and it was like “Round. Like home.”

Warnings: Nothing, really, just nightmares, nothing violent tho

Word Count: 1,636

      Brown eyes stared at blank curtains, eyelids nearly falling, but shooting back up again. His hands clutched tighter at the book he had been trying to read for the past hour; The cover was wrinkled and torn. The pages were dark and stained and the letters had doodles and annotations in the margins. Arms aching, he sat the book down in his lap, carefully marking the page with one hand while he struggled to bring out his phone and start to type, the brightness stinging his already bloodshot eyes.

To “Philly”: cant sleep

There wasn’t a reply, just one at the door as it softly opened and closed, a figure holding a pillow making its way in. Its footsteps were silent.


“Yeah?” There was a dip in the bed, and the younger boy caught a glimpse of a pale face with far too pretty eyes.

“Where are you at?” He pulled the book into his hands, reading the title and smiling at the curly script of It’s Not Home, and flipping to the page Dan had been holding.

“Second paragraph, third sentence,”

Phil swallowed, holding the book above him so that Dan could read along as well.

For the winding willows and the scent of the dying flowers in that back garden reminded Angelica of home, for it was home; She missed the longing look of her sister at the boy next door, she missed the way her father’s hands would crinkle the newspaper, and her mother would be sewing on the floor, legs crossed beneath her dress, even though there was a chair behind her…

Then Dan was back, four years ago, when he was shorter and his eyes didn’t have the crinkles of smiles; He was back in Phil’s guest bedroom, he was back to the fear racing in his heart at the shadows that weren’t there. The bed was creaky and his hands were fidgeting underneath the blanket, and he slid out of the quilts, sitting at the edge of the bed, eyes darting around the room, debating himself. After a few minutes of internal bickering, Dan slid out of the room and down the hall.

Phil’s bedroom door opened slowly, and the older sat up, looking at the boy in front of him, hair curly and gut twisting.

“Can I sleep in here? Sorry, I just couldn’t-”

“Of course,” Phil smiled, pulling the book closer to his chest, and pulled back the covers so that Dan could slide in. His heart raced as Phil laid back down, shutting off the lamp.




“I like you next to me,” Phil whispered, “I don’t mind,”

Dan’s face flushed, but not nearly as bright as Phil’s.

“I like you next to me, too,” Dan stuttered.

For just a second, Dan’s nerves were gone; His brain had shut down and was simply repeating the same thing over and over until it nearly had no meaning.

Kiss me.

“Do you mind if I read?”

“Go ahead,”

The lamp flicked back on, but this time Phil didn’t sit up, just pulled the book from the bedside table he had set it on, and held it, arms stiff above his head, book in the air, and Dan laughed.


“Why are you holding it like that?”

“It’s comfortable,” Phil pouted, and Dan laughed harder.

“What’s it about?”

Phil’s eyes smiled. “There’s a girl named Angelica who ran away from home with her best friend,”


“They wanted an adventure,”

“That’s a little far for an adventure,” Dan laid on his back, and looked at the book, “I mean, they could have gone camping, or something,”

“I guess,” Phil shrugged, “But it’s a good book,”

“What’s it called?”

“It’s Not Home,”

There was a comfortable silence as Dan laid on his side and closed his eyes. Soon enough, he was asleep, and then it was a nightmare; A shriek, blood splatter, his brother, his family, Phil, all of them were out of his reach, and-

Phil,” He nearly yelled, waking up with a start, the older looking at him, hands shaking him awake.

“Nightmare. Sorry,” Dan mumbled, racing heart slowing, cheeks aflame, as Phil pulled away. He reached up and touched his face, realizing he was crying. Embarrassment burned in his gut.

Phil pulled the book back out, opening to his page and leaning against the headboard, flicking the lamp on.

Angelica settled into the seat next to her mother-” Phil read aloud,

“What?” Dan questioned,

“I’m reading, shut up,” Phil said, and when Dan looked over, he was smiling. Dan relaxed next to the older, shoulders grazing, skimming the lines along with Phil.

Angelica settled into the seat next to her mother, taking in her strawberry perfume, and pulled out her own cross-stitch, hands starting to clumsily weave the needle in and out, in and out. She listened as her mother began to talk to Miss Mary in front of her. The two laughed and talked about the young woman’s boyfriend, a strong man with stubble and clean-cut hair. Guilt settled in her stomach; Why did she want to leave this? Her mother leaned over and helped Angelica as her thread became loose from the needle and re-threaded it as Miss Mary smiled and laughed politely, saying that she could never stitch herself. Why does she feel unnatural here, where everyone was kind? Why did she wish for more, when she had everything?

The two had read that book until they finished it, sunlight streaming through the curtains, Phil’s throat sore and ragged, but he could care less; Dan was asleep, mouth hanging open, eyes fluttered close.


“Are you still awake?”

“Huh?” Dan asked, and opened his eyes; He wasn’t in Phil’s old house, he wasn’t eighteen. He was twenty-two, and sitting in his shared apartment with his best friend. The word stung his brain. Just friends.

Phil shuffled beside him, and mumbled something like, “C’mere, this isn’t comfy,”

But Dan could barely hear him from the roaring in his ears, as Phil put an arm around him, pulling the boy to his chest. Dan’s head underneath his. The book in the air above them.

“Are you good?” Phil asked, and if Dan had listened close, he would have heard a tremble in his voice.

“Yeah,” Dan was so tired he nearly didn’t realize what was happening; Just that he was warm, and Phil was close, and talking, and nearly let out a content sigh as Phil’s chest rose and fell.

Angelica’s heart swelled at the sight of him. His hair was stringy and his face wasn’t clean, but he had the biggest smile that crinkled his eyes as he was ankle-deep in that river, the bottom of his trousers becoming soaked. The boy next door lifted his arms above his head, laughing, and yelled, ‘Ange! It’s so wonderful, you must try this!’ ‘What are you, crazy?’ She had screamed over the current, crossing her arms across her chest, ‘You wanted adventure, right?’ Mike yelled, and walked closer to the bank that she was close to, and said, ‘At least step on the rocks. Come out here,’ His strong hands gripped her arms loosely, leading her to a large, flat rock in front of the bank. She sighed, hopping to it, then another, then another, until there was only one more rock to jump to get to the center of the river. Immediately after leaping, she lost her footing; Algae clung to the rock, causing her shoe to loose its grip, and she let out a shriek. Arms grabbed her by the waist, bringing her close, saving her from the fall. She could feel the toes of her shoes graze the top of the stream. ‘Are you okay?’ He yelled over the current, nose touching hers. Angelica’s stomach twisted, and replied with softly placing her lips on his, not caring that the dirty river water was going to ruin her shoes, or that her sister would surely kill her; For his arms were strong and held her tight to him, and that was home.

“We’ve read this a thousand times, but I still don’t get how he holds her when they kiss,” Dan mumbled, not realizing he was burying his face into Phil’s chest, too tired to care.

“Isn’t he a farmer boy, or something? Like, he would have mega muscles,”

Dan laughed into Phil’s chest, “Yeah, I guess,”

Dan felt Phil bring the book down, closing it.

“Who was your first kiss?” Phil asked out of the blue, and Dan’s cheeks warmed, “I think I was drunk for mine, not very romantic,”

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Dan mumbled, hiding his face, “Yeah, pretty embarrassing, right?” He let out a hollow laugh.

“No,” Phil whispered, “I kinda wish I saved mine,”


“I wish this one was my first,” Phil said, so quiet Dan could barely hear him, but the younger looked up, breathless, to see Phil staring at him; His heart was sure to explode; Then Phil leaned in slowly, and connected their lips. Dan immediately reacted, pushing back, and lightly pressing his hands into Phil’s chest.

He was smiling so hard they had to break the kiss.

“I like you,” Dan whispered, “Like, a lot,”

“I like you a lot, too.”


When the window started to leak in the sound of morning traffic, Dan woke, with a boy’s arms around his waist, and turned carefully, not wanting to wake him, until his nose was grazing Phil’s; His eyes were closed, long eyelashes fluttering his cheeks, mouth opened slightly, the striped sunlight through the shutters were cascading on his pale skin. Dan smiled at him, kissing his cheek lightly. Phil buried his head in the crook of Dan’s neck, letting out a whine, and the younger let out a croaky laugh. And that was home.

anonymous asked:

Liam basically confirmed they're each other's ride or dies or at least that's how the sentence where he says they're in it for the long run sounds like?


Baby Howlett (II) | Old Man Logan

Originally posted by thatfunnyweirdindiechick

You can read Part One here 

So you guys have been demanding for this to be written since April, and I thought.. well, why not? But I’m going to make this clear now, there will not be a third part to this fic. I just wanted to kick off for whenever I open all Logan requests again sometimes within the first or second week of June!

Previously - Logan learns of your pregnancy through Lauras confession.

Now - Snippets of the most precious times throughout your pregnancy lead you up to one of the happiest days of your life; the birth of your daughter y/d/n Howlett. 

Warnings: none? Logan is head over heels for his daughter???? 

ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS; flashbacks are a sonogram appointment and Logan meeting your baby for the first time. Anything in regular text is present. 

Guys, when I open my Logan requests again, I’m going to finish the fics with no links in my Masterlist; AND THEN I AM ONLY TAKING THE FIRST DOZEN REQUESTS. I have no motivation to write for Logan anymore (I still love him tho) and would much rather write for someone else given that he has the most prompts of any character in my masterlist. 

Tag List: @rivertales @drewkelliii @house-of-penguin @weasleytheking @xavier-chxrles @hookedonawolverine @tigers-have-teeth @buckybabble @liveourlifelikenobodyelse @agirlinherhead @katiedreamy

Keep reading

ephemeren  asked:

Guess my sign: I get lost in fantasy a lot and don't do very well with stress. I enjoy fun and light-hearted events, but I'm rarely ever the light of the party unless it happens to be a circle of close friends. I'm willing to forgive, but I'll never forget, and keep a grudge to prove it. I'm deeply loyal to those I love, but I do become pretty distant if my interest is lost. I tend to keep my anger to myself, and explode as a result once I've been pushed to the edge. Hypocrisy pisses me off.

Sounds like a Pisces or another Water sign.

I loved you

Warnings: Fluff, angst… THIS IS VERY SAD OK?

A/N: this isn’t a request, i was listening to charlie puth and this came into my mind. SO I RECOMMEND TO LISTEN TO HIS SONG CALLED DANGEROUSLY WHILE READING THIS

REQUESTS HERE!! / Masterlist

You couldn’t be more nervous. It was going to be your first time singing live on TV. The Grammys. Who would have told the 12 year-old you that you were going to sing in the most important music awards. Nobody would’ve believed you.

In the last three month you met a lot of new people, you had new friends. And all because of him.

Joshua William Dun. The boy who broke your heart because he was scared to hurt you. It was so ironic. He left you because he didn’t want you to suffer but you did. He broke you in a million pieces.

This was only four months on from when he said goodbye to you. And it was going to be the first time that you two see each other after all that time. He was there, among the public, waiting to see the next performance. It was yours.

A member of the staff came next to you to remind that you had to be on stage in two minutes.

It felt like a second. When you realised that you were down the stage, you wanted to start crying. The only thing that you needed for the performance was the microphone, no decorations, no dancers. It was just you.

When the applauses ended, you had to start talking. “It’s such an honor to be here tonight.” your voice cracked. “Specially because there’s a lot of important people in here watching me. I feel really lucky.”

The people started to applaud you again.

“I wanted to sing something special tonight. And I have to thank my good friend Charlie for letting me make a version of his song.” you took a breath. “A long time ago I met a person who made me feel the most important person in this world. He made me feel confident and great about myself. But everything ended in a painful way. I was in pain even though he didn’t do that to hurt me.”

My eyes started to tear in the same moment that his eyes caught mine. Josh was there, standing up next to Tyler and he looked as sad as I was. He knew that every word that I’d say was about him.

“But maybe this is what happens when you love someone dangerously.”

Then, the song started.

Every single word reminded you of him. You couldn’t stop thinking about the most beautiful moments that you lived with Josh. Fights, makeups, kisses… You were reminding everything.

“Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going. Didn’t care if the explosion ruined me.” That couldn’t be more true. Maybe your relationship went a little bit too fast, but it was enough for you. You felt loved by someone and that was amazing.

“It was a matter of time.” It was? Yeah, probably.

Everybody in the public seemed to be feeling the sadness in you voice. You could even saw some people crying. And one of those persons was Josh. Tyler was rubbing his arm trying to comfort him, but it wasn’t enough.Josh wanted to jump into the stage and hug you until the end of the days. Tell you that he regretted everything that he said and did in the same moment that he crossed your house’s door. Josh just wanted you to be with him again.

When you finished the song, the whole crowd erupted in applause. In any way, that comforted you a bit. You smiled when a lot of people started shouting your name and some others were crying even more than you.

“Thank you so much!” your attempt to sound happy didn’t went really well, your voice cracked again.

While walking out of the stage you cleaned some tears that were rolling down your cheeks with your hand. The first person that you saw in backstage was Charlie, whose eyes were red.

“Please, tell me that you haven’t cried.” you smiled while hugging him.

“I’ve cried with my own song, (Y/N). It wouldn’t be that sad if I didn’t know the story behind your tears.” he put a hand on your face. “You’ve done it. And you’re here. Alive.”

“Just on the outside.” Charlie shook his head. “It sounded very dramatic. Forger it.”

Your friend kissed you in the forhead. “Go to your dressing room and get relaxed. You deserve it.”

“I love you.”

“Not as much as I do, little one.”

His words made you smile. He was right. You just needed to get relaxed in your dressing room, forget about everything just for a couple of minutes.

Some other people congratulated you while they saw you walking down the backstage. Fortunately your dressing room wasn’t too far from the stage. The first thing that you did once you were all alone was take your shoes off and throw them away.

“You look so beautiful.” a voice said behind you. His voice.

You turned around instantly and your eyes met his. “What are you doing here, Josh?”

“I couldn’t stay there and act like nothing has happened. I needed to see you. And god, you’re so beautiful (Y/N).”

“Josh, don’t. Please.” you turned away from he. “Not now, after all this time.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry about what happened. I didn’t want to do it, I promise.”

“Then, why you did it, Josh?!” you screamed. You had just exploded. “You left me all alone, with my heart completely shattered by something so stupid! Why, Josh?”

“Cause I was scared! I was scared to hurt you and scared of – not being the man that you deserve.”

The tears started to roll down your cheeks again. “Why would you think that? You’re the best person that I’ve ever met. And I loved you, Josh! More than everything.”

Loved?” he sounded sad. “That means that you don’t love me anymore?”

“No. It doesn’t mean anything. I still loving you.”

Josh tried to grab your hand but you pulled back. “No. I just can’t forgive you. Not after all this time.”

“Why? (Y/N) I regret everything! I love you and you’re the one who I will always love.”

“If you love me that much – Why didn’t you just came back? I waited for you for more than a month! Sleeping with my phone on my hands just to get sure that if you called me I could answer the call. I was willing to forgive you, Josh.”

He put his head down. “But not now. All this fucked my head up. And now I just want to be alone. I’m sorry Josh, but this is the time when I’m the one who’s scared.”

if you go, cities will not fall. empires will not crumble, temples will not collapse. citadels will not catch fire; rome will not go up in blazing glory like the sky did on your birthday last july fourth, when you whispered make a wish! and i laughed at you—because who makes wishes on fireworks?—but secretly wished with all my heart for you to not be sad anymore. if you go, rain will not drench the world for forty days and forty nights like it does in the chick-flicks we stay up watching until 2 a.m., i never liked those, you know, but you do and i like you.
if you go, the earth will keep turning.
if you go, the boy who sits across from you in math class will hear your name on the loudspeaker, and he’ll realize he won’t have anyone to help him on calc problems anymore but mostly he’ll wish that he’d talked to you about something other than integrals. if you go, your little sister won’t have anyone to compliment her drawings even though they’re masterpieces because she’s too shy to show them to anyone else. if you go, your big brother who claims he’s mature because he has a girlfriend will cry until he can’t breathe, and you won’t even be there to tease him about it.
if you go, i’ll miss the midnight texting sessions about nothing in particular, the shared peppermint lip gloss, the early morning trading of answers to chemistry problems we were supposed to do last night. i’ll miss sitting in the back row of the movie theaters and laughing until my ribs ache even though everybody turns around to glare at us. i’ll even miss listening to your staticky voice on the phone whispering help, i don’t think i can do this anymore; i’ll miss the rush of relief that comes when i hear you talk because at least that means you’re still here, you’re still hanging on.
if you go, nothing big will happen. no stars will explode. no sound, even, except the quiet breaking of all the hearts you left behind.
—  TO A FADING FRIEND | prose series #2 | inkmagician
The Bucket List

Pairing: Steve x Reader 

Warnings: none? 

Prompt: you talk in your sleep

word count: 3390

A/N: this strayed so far from the prompt but I liked it too much to stop writing it. Hopefully you guys enjoy it. It could be really shit!!!! I wrote it running on four hours of sleep, so please don’t judge me if it’s bad, I just wanted to write something nice for you guys. 

“You talk in your sleep—“ Steve spoke as he entered the kitchen, pulling the bag of oatmeal from the top shelf.

I looked up from my bowl, a small stream of almond milk dribbled down the side of my mouth. “Huh?” I questioned as I wiped it away with my sleeve.

He narrowed his eyes and stared at me in confusion and a little bit of disgust, “uh—“ he shook his head, “you talk in your sleep. I heard you last night.”

I furrowed my brow as I shovelled down another mouthful of cereal. “What was I saying?” It interested me to know what I spoke about in my slumber. My college roommate had always told me that I did it, but my punishment for chatting away to myself was never knowing what I’d said—she was tough on me.

“You were talking about a handsome man in blue, I can only assume that was about me.” A small smirk played on his lips as he placed his bowl in the microwave.

“Okay Rogers,” I warned, “don’t reach. Now what was I really saying?” I asked again—a slight blush creeping onto my cheeks. The truth was I had the biggest crush on my training partner. It was just like high school, when you’d get a crush on one of the senior boys. Steve was the senior boy everyone had a crush on and I was lucky enough to train with him. It pleased me to walk into the gym every day and watch as he went one on one with the punching bag—his training shirts were always tight, accentuating his ungodly muscles and he was always so damn nice—but what I liked most was that he never played down my ability to fight. He fought me like he would fight any enemy and that in itself was the most attractive thing about him.

“Are you blushing (Y/N)?” He continued to smirk at me, knowing he was getting a reaction.

“Oh jog on.” I waved him away, “I see you shirtless every day, pretty sure if I wanted to—okay you know what nevermind, I can’t talk about you like that.” I began to toy with my cereal instead of eating it.

“Jog on—“ he repeated me, “is that a British thing?”

I rolled my eyes and poked him in the chest, “tell me what I was saying.”

“Fine, fine!” he put his hands up in defeat. “You were talking about the ocean—saying you were scared of it. You said something about a giant squid taking you away and pecking you with its beak.”

“Mmmmm,” I leaned back in my chair, “now that sounds more like me.” I really did have an irrational fear of giant squid.

“You’re really scared of the ocean?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yep,” I got up from my seat and meandered to the sink.

Steve turned to face me, “but you can control it?”

I scoffed at his comment—I always seemed to get the same reaction when I told people. “Just because you can control something, doesn’t mean you can’t be afraid of it.”

“Wow,” he nodded his head in agreement. “That’s so deep.” He took a sip of his orange juice just as I went to lightly slap him on the head. The juice went sputtering out of his mouth and I let out a loud gasp.

“Oh wow—“ I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m so sorry.” I grabbed some paper towel from beside the sink. “Oh my gosh.” I dabbed at his mouth before I could wipe the table. “You should’ve seen your face.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper towel from me.

“Very funny.” He sighed as I sat back down—still chuckling at the mess I’d caused.

“Hey,” I tilted my head, sending him a tight-lipped smile “you shouldn’t make fun of my quotes.”

He shook his head, in disbelief “I never disagreed with you, but whatever you’re right.”

“I know I am Rogers, when am I not right?”

“When you’re left.” He looked up at me, the biggest smile plastered on his stupid face.

“Ohhhhh my god.” I didn’t want to laugh—I really didn’t. In fact I was certain that I was laughing at him and not with him. “You—no” I slapped my hands over my mouth in shock. He’d just told what was possibly one of—if not the worst joke of all time. “You really need to never tell that joke again, please I beg you.”

“Oh,” he frowned, “I got it from Scott—I thought he was the funny guy.”

“Scott is the funny guy, let it stay that way.” I leaned over the dining table to pat him on the shoulder.

“I’m scared of the ocean too by the way.” He quickly changed the subject—I slumped back into my chair when I noticed the blue of his eyes deepen.

“Well that’s because—well, yes—well, okay, yep.” I awkwardly got up from my seat. I hated that sometimes I was so calm and collected around him and then two seconds later I was the definition of ‘awkward mess’. “You know what, I’ll just see you at training.”

“Uh—okay,” I could tell he was confused by my suddenly erratic behaviour, but he went with it nevertheless. “I’ll see you then.”

I awkwardly waved before scrambling out of the kitchen.

“He said he was afraid of the ocean too and I freaked out, cause you know he’s been through so much with the damn sea—“

Wanda couldn’t wait for me to finish my sentence—she instantly burst out laughing. “Wow,” she calmed herself down. “I can always count on you to make my bad days better.”

“Don’t laugh at me,” I whined, “this is really bad.” I knew I couldn’t blame her for laughing because I really was a joke.

“Okay no, no” she stopped herself from laughing again. “I’m telling you now,” she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “If there’s anyone he likes in this whole facility it’s you!” I didn’t know where she’d pulled the idea from, but I liked it. “You haven’t embarrassed yourself—I can bet that he’s forgotten about it already.”

“Yes, but I keep making myself look stupid—eventually he’ll remember.” It was only a matter of time before Steve realised; I wasn’t funny, I was just a mess.

“You’re his training partner, he knows how fierce you are! So for you to be awkward outside of that dojo means nothing! He’s seen you in your rawest form, he knows the real you.”

“It’s just the fact that I try my best to flirt or create some banter and then I ruin it.” I shoved my head into her pillow and let out a loud groan.

“You really don’t see how great you are. All those awkward encounters? They add to your character and show that you feel something.”

“Jeeze,” I whistled under my breath as I lifted my head. “You really know how to be the supportive friend.”

“I know,” she smiled sincerely. “I didn’t have anyone when I thought I was making stupid mistakes, so the least I can do is be a good friend now that I have one.”

“Wow—“ I placed a hand over my heart, “I’m pretty sure that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Stop it,” she laughed, “I’ve been nice before.”

“Hmmm,” I pretended to think about it. “I guess you have.”

“Hey—“ Steve said as he waltzed into the gym “what are you doing in here before me?” He knew the drill, he’d box and I’d walk in and pretend to be unfazed by his perfect form.

“Well,” I struggled to speak as I did my push ups, “I don’t like to admire hot and sweaty Captain America every day.”

“I always knew you were admiring me,” he dropped his bag and then lowered himself onto the mat next to me. “You having a bit of trouble there?”

My arms felt like jelly and there was sweat dripping from every crevice, I was on my 65th push up and I only needed one more to beat my personal best. I managed to squeeze in another three before collapsing into a heap. “I never have trouble.” I joked as I struggled for breath.

Steve chuckled as he got back up. He walked over to my gym bag and foraged for my water bottle. “Here,” he said placing it down next to me.

“Thank you,” I breathed—sitting up, before I gulped down almost the entire contents.

“So you never denied that you were admiring me.” The stupid smirk that I was far too accustomed to graced his face.

“Shut up,” I mustered enough strength to elbow him in the ribs.

He grabbed my elbow and pulled me closer. “That’s still not denying it.” It was the first time he’d ever been so cheeky around me and I had to say; I loved every single moment of it.

“You know what.” I wriggled myself free from his grip and grabbed my water bottle—without warning I squirted it in his face. “Is that enough denying for you captain?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Shit—“ he lifted his shirt to wipe his face and the bottom of his torso peaked out from underneath. I had to stop myself; I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he caught me. “I’ll get you back for that (Y/N)” he warned.

“I’m sure you will,” I said casually—as if my heart wasn’t about to explode.

“Enough of that. Down to the serious stuff.” He wriggled himself around so that he was sitting in front of me.

“What,” I fake gasped. “You mean we weren’t being serious just then?”

He laughed lightly before shaking his head. “I was thinking that we could find the spare pair of gloves in the storage room and spar today.”

My arms felt like they were going to snap off, but I couldn’t resist sparring with Steve. He was just so precise and agile—all his movements were so natural, yet so unpredictable. “Sounds good to me.” I huffed before gulping down the last bit of my water.

“Great!” he sprung up, “I’ll go find the gloves.”

“Wait!” I shot up as well, “I’ll help you look.”

The two of us stood at the door of the storage closet, not sure where to look first.

“Christ, this is a tiny room.” I coughed as dust particles bombarded my throat.

“You’re not wrong.” Steve agreed as he crouched down.

“I regret not bringing my gloves today.” I said as I mirrored his actions, our shoulders pressing against each other as we both rummaged through random crates.

“Well—“ whatever he was about to say was cut off by the sound of a siren blaring.

“Shit!” we both stood up at the same time. The door to the storage room slammed shut within seconds, ultimately sealing us inside. The shock of it all caused me to stumble back into his arms.

He caught me gently, as if I were as light as a feather. “I forgot there was a lockdown drill today,” he let me go and I awkwardly shook myself upright.

“Well that’s just dandy isn’t it?” I flopped down onto one of the crates. Hiding my face so he wouldn’t see the blush that had crept onto my cheeks.

“Sorry,” He sighed as he pulled up a crate next to me.

I took a second to calm myself before looking at him, “it’s not your fault.”

We both sat in silence—instructions blared from the speaker in the dojo, but they were muffled by the titanium door that had sealed us in. I fumbled with my fingers for a while, before turning to look at Steve.

“What?” I questioned—my voice catching in my throat when I realised he’d been staring at me.

“Your eyes—“ he gulped, “they changed colour.”

“Oh yeah,” I averted my gaze to the floor—I was embarrassed by the whole situation.

He placed his knuckle under my chin and gently turned my head, so that I was looking at him again. “They’re—“ he hesitated for a second, “they’re beautiful.”

His comment struck me—I honestly felt like my heart was going to exit my body through my throat.

He didn’t move his knuckle from under my chin; instead he moved his face closer to mine. In fact, he was so close that I could smell his aftershave, which by that point should have faded—so close that I could feel the heat radiating off his skin.

“This is a really small room.” I repeated, as a lump began to rise in my throat. Was he going to kiss me? Or was he just moving irrationally close to me for no reason? I had no idea.

He smiled, “you say the dar—“ the clanking of the titanium door struggling to opening broke us apart. I’d never moved faster in my life—I felt like Pietro as I stumbled to my feet at the speed of light.

“Um, you know what? I’m not feeling so great. I think I’m gonna cut this short, if you need me I’ll be in my room.” I didn’t wait for a response—I rushed out of the dojo and toward my room, leaving him as confused as ever.

I was half way through a pint of ice cream before there was a knock at my front door. “Bloody hell,” I muttered under my breath as I set down the dessert and slinked towards the door.

“Hi—“ Steve said as I flung the door open. “Can I—uh—I just came to check if you were okay.” He ran his hand through his hair nervously.

“Uh hi.” I narrowed my eyes— still not quite sure why he was standing there, considering I was perfectly fine. “I’m okay, is there a reason I wouldn’t be?” I moved aside and gestured for him to come in.

“It’s just that you left in such a hurry before—“ He held on to the back of his neck as he spoke, “I thought maybe I did something wrong.”

“Oh—“ I bit my lip, remembering just how close we’d gotten in that moment. “No, you—you were fine.” I resumed my seat on the couch. He stood beside the armrest, awkwardly staring down at the TV.

“You can sit down you know.” I chuckled as I patted the spot next to me.

“You know I—nevermind.” He sat down without any complaints to which I replied with a smile.

“Your hair is still wet,” I reached out to feel it. When I realised how weird I was being I pulled away, but was caught off guard when he entwined his hand with mine.

“I uh—“ he quickly shook his hand away and the two of us averted our eyes to the TV—unsure about what had just happened. “What are you watching?” he croaked.

“American Gangster—hey do you still have that list of movies you need to watch? Surely this is on there?” I distinctly remembered him telling me about his lists and how he’d aimed to finish everything on them.

He let out a small laugh, “you still remember that?”

My mouth formed an ‘O’, “I am shocked that you have such little belief in me and my listening capabilities.”

He laughed louder this time,“you’ll be happy to know that it is on my list and that I have in fact seen it.”

“I’m so proud,” I beamed as I clapped my hands together. “Look at you, de-fossilizing yourself one step at a time.”

His face fell in an instant, and I felt like I’d been stabbed. I’d upset him and I hadn’t meant to. “Look I better go.” He got up from his seat, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Hey wait!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “I didn’t mean it like that.” I hadn’t meant for my comment to hurt him, but I realised that it’d been a dumb move on my part. “I’m proud of you, you’re not a fossil and even if you were, you’d be my favourite.” A cheesy grin spread across my face as a small smile fleeted on his.

“Favourite fossil huh?” he raised an eyebrow in question.

“Favourite.” I leaned forward and in the spur of the moment I kissed his cheek.

We were both taken back for a second—each of us knowing it was out of character for me.

“(Y/N)” Steve said quietly, “there’s something on my list that I need your help to finish.”

“You need my help?” I wasn’t quite sure what he would need me for. There was nothing I could do that the others couldn’t—apart from controlling the sea, that there was exclusive.

He nodded, his eyes turning the dark shade of blue that I’d only seen once before.

“You’re not going to kiss me are you?” I snorted, trying to play it off as if it weren’t a legitimate question.

“Uh—dammit.” He slapped his hands against his knees and got up. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, nO, nOo, NO!” I scrambled to my knees and waved my hands in the air like a mad woman.“I mean, no don’t go anywhere not no don’t kiss me.” My voice was frantic.

He sat back down, his head in his hands as he let out a frustrated groan. “So you want me to kiss you?” Now it was his turn to be confused.

“Yes!” I almost shouted, “I would like nothing—“

He didn’t wait for me to finish, before I knew it our lips were pressed against each other. His hand roamed to the small of my back, pulling me closer so that I was able to straddle him as our lips moved in sync. I couldn’t believe what was happening—after all those days of admiring him, Steve Rogers was kissing me and he wasn’t holding back either.

I found myself lost for breath as he deepened the kiss. His hands balled into fists as he grabbed ahold of my t-shirt—he was trying to pull me closer, but I was already as close to him as I could be with my clothes on.

“Fuck,” he moaned as I fumbled to pull his black v-neck off.

“Wait,” I breathed as I pulled away.

“What?” He asked, staring at me cautiously.

“That was the first time I’ve ever heard you swear.”

“Dear God,” he said as his lips caught mine once more. “You are really something else.”

I pulled away again and surveyed his face, “like a good something else or?”

He laughed out loud and I couldn’t help but laugh either, he was just so infectious. “Good I promise.”

“Okay cool” I grinned before wrapping my hands around his neck. “Cause I’ve had a crush on you for a while now.” I whispered my confession against the skin just below his ear. A massive smile spread across my face when I heard him mutter something inaudible under his breath.

“Oh really?” He smirked, as one of his hands slinked under my T-shirt so that he could trace shapes against my skin.

I frowned as I led my index finger around the outline of his abdominal muscles. “I hope you’re not laughing at me internally.”

He leaned forward and placed a small kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I swear I’m not. I think you’re the funniest woman alive and honestly I want to spend all of my time with you.”

“Is that why you set up so many training sessions Rogers?” I tapped my finger against his nose and he kissed my chin.

“Maybe,” he grinned as he gently pulled me back down. “Is that why you attended all of them (Y/N)?”

“Mhm,” I sucked in my bottom lip as I stared down at the man in front of me. “That’s not even a question.” I answered—our foreheads pressed together.

“Then let’s not waste time dwelling on it.”

“Hey Rogers?”

“Mmmm?” He mumbled in response.

“Why am I the only one with a shirt on?”