the society of the crossed keys
Insurers Come Out Swinging Against New Republican Health Care Bill
The health insurance industry, which has been cautious about previous bills to repeal the Affordable Care Act, came out sharply against the latest version.
By Robert Pear

The two major trade groups for insurers, the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association and America’s Health Insurance Plans, announced their opposition on Wednesday to the Graham-Cassidy bill. They joined other groups fighting the bill, such as the American Medical Association, the American Hospital Association, AARP and the lobbying arm of the American Cancer Society.

“The bill contains provisions that would allow states to waive key consumer protections, as well as undermine safeguards for those with pre-existing medical conditions,’’ said Scott P. Serota, the president and chief executive of the Blue Cross Blue Shield Association. “The legislation reduces funding for many states significantly and would increase uncertainty in the marketplace, making coverage more expensive and jeopardizing Americans’ choice of health plans.”

If Only

Hey guys! This is my Yoongi Soulmate AU. It’s kind of a companion piece to my Namjoon Soulmate Au that you can find over here : Pull Me Closer. You don’t really need to read it to get this one, but it does make some references to it.

Enjoy! I hope you like it!

Originally posted by tahyns

You hand the grumpy man his coffee.The one that came staggering in and could barely form coherent sentences. The one that hands you a twenty dollars for a four dollar drink and grumbles about not needing any change. The one that comes in barely minutes before closing and grunts that he needs a “shit ton of caffeine.”

Normally, this type of behavior from a customer would annoy you. But, for some reason you aren’t put off by it. Maybe it’s his soft features that you find too cute. Maybe it’s the pastel hair color that you can’t help but to softly giggle at. Maybe it’s the way that his hoodie is at least three times larger than him and it makes him seem so small, even though you are standing about the same height.

He holds the coffee as if he is worshiping it. At first, he just take comfort in the warmth that radiates off of the paper cup. He sighs deeply, his shoulders drop slightly as he relaxes.

And then he starts chugging the hot liquid. You gasp. “Wait! It’s hot!” You call out as you hand reaches out to him in concern.

He stops drinking and blinks at you. A perplexed look is on his face, as if he’s forgotten where he is. He grins at you sheepishly. An apology is at the tip of his tongue, but it never leaves his mouth. His cheeks are slowly turning pink.

There is a moment of awkward silence, where you both just stare at each other. He clears his throat before speaking finally. “This is the best coffee I have ever had.” His voice is rough and deep.

“Does that mean you’ll be coming back?” you question, just a little bit flirty. You reason that making a new regular customer is good for business. Honestly, you just want to see him again. You have never had an interest in someone before.

“Only if you make my coffee,” he agrees easily. If he were being truthful, he wants to see you again. You are the prettiest person he has ever seen before.

He smiles at the giggle that erupts out of you. He lingers at the counter as he watches you wipe down the machines.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

His voice startles you. You spin around. “I forgot you were here,” you comment as you catch your breath. “I’m Y/N.”

He means to respond. He has all intentions to respond. There is just an air around you that makes him feel at ease and at the same time so nervous. He means to tell you his name. But before the words could leave his mouth, he feels a tugging at his fingers. His eyes leaves you for the first time to look down at the hand gripping the warm coffee cup. The red string that is wrapped around his fingers is pulling him away.

Suddenly, the night is just as bitter as the coffee.

“Yoongi!” You greet as he walks into the cafe, surprisingly during the day time. “It’s about time you come see me at a decent hour, I was beginning to think I was just your dirty little secret,” you joke as you begin to make his drink.

He chuckles at your joke. “I just keep weird hours,” he explains. His eyes watches you move swiftly around the espresso machine. “And you are a secret, I can’t have people buying out all of my favorite coffee.”

“And here I thought you came to see me,” you giggle as you hand over his cup. “Way to lead a girl on.”

He comes to the cafe more often than he should. Sometimes he travels across town just to come to this cafe. Sometimes he doesn’t even need the caffeine. He just enjoys your company and the little bubble the both of you get engulfed in.

“I like seeing you,” Yoongi responds quickly. His face flushes as he realizes what he said. “I mean, you’re easy on the eyes,” he grumbles.

“You don’t look too bad either.”

He smiles at you backwards compliment, his face turning even more pink.

He likes you - that much he knew. He couldn’t be sure about how you felt about him. Sometimes, he likes to think that you like him back. Sometimes it feels as if you could like him back. In those situations, when the air suddenly get to thick and his palms gets sweaty - when he could feel a shift happening - the string tugs at him.

“Please!” Taehyung whines from the door of the studio. “I’m so hungry. I’m gonna die of starvation and then you’ll feel guilty because you didn’t feed me!” He groans dramatically as he flails on the ground. “Yoongi! Please!”

Yoongi groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Taehyung, I’m trying to finish this song.” He speaks through clench teeth, something that should have intimidated Taehyung. But by now Taehyung was used to all of Yoongi’s scare tactics.

“But Yoongi, you are always trying to finish a song,” he whines. He knows in the end his dramatics would win. They did every time. And not only would he have gotten a free meal, but Jin would later praise him for getting Yoongi to eat something. There had been too many times that Yoongi skipped his meals. “Besides, you’re hungry too!”

“No, I’m not,” Yoongi disagrees. But at that moment his stomach decides to growl. He sighs before slamming his heads phone onto the desk. “Fine, let’s go.”

Taehyung jumps up with a grin as he wraps his arms around Yoongi. “Yoongi is the best!”

Yoongi watches as Taehyung inhales his meal. Yoongi had already finished off his food. Taehyung had order at least half the menu.

He sighs as he shifts in his seat. Taehyung stops eating momentarily to look up at him. “Something on your mind, Yoongi?” Taehyung asks with a mouth full of food. Yoongi grimaces as crumbs spew onto the table. Taehyung smiles sheepishly as he swallows the food down. “You can confide in me. We’re Daegu boys!”

“Just…” Yoongi begins but stops. He mulls over the words in his head and Taehyung lets him takes his time. He knows that Yoongi is opening up about something, he know that Yoongi is particular about how he says things. In the meantime, he can stuff his face. “Don’t you think the whole soulmate thing is weird?” Yoongi questions. His gaze falls onto the red string wrapped around his index finger.

Taehyung blinks at him. His cheeks are puffed out due to being so filled with food. Noodles hang out of his mouth. Sauce is smeared across his chin. He begins to answer Yoongi, but the glare he receives reminds him to chew and swallow. There is an awkward silence as Taehyung works through his food.

“Whatever do you mean?” Taehyung finally responds when he swallows.

Yoongi sighs heavily. He plays with the red string nervously. “I mean, our society doesn’t experience life anymore. We are just sitting ducks until our soulmates finally pop up.”

“Soulmates are our key to happiness,” Taehyung argues carefully. He gauges Yoongi anxiously. He’s watching for any signs that this conversation will escalate.

Yoongi scoffs. His lips frown. “Why do we have to rely on them to be happy?” He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat. For now, the red string is temporarily out of sight. “Why do we need the other side of the string to be happy?”

“They’re not just the other side of the string,” Taehyung attempts to reason. “They’re our other half!” Taehyung is at a lost on how to comfort the Yoongi. On one hand, he wants to defend soulmates but he feels as that would only upset Yoongi more. On the other hand, he wants to agree with Yoongi just to pacify him but that isn’t fair. Why couldn’t Yoongi talk about this with Jin or Jimin - surely they are more qualified to handle this situation.

“Why do we sing about first loves when we have never experienced it and we never will?” Yoongi grumbles.

“Our soulmates are our first loves,” Taehyung squeaks.

“The word ‘first’ implies that there will be a second, a third, maybe even a fourth of fifth,” Yoongi explains. “It means that we don’t just love one person.”

“Maybe -”

“And what about heartbreak.” Yoongi’s voice raises slightly as he gets riled up. He huffs. “We have so many songs about heartbreak and I have never met anyone who has actually experienced it.” He gives Taehyung a pointed look and raises an eyebrow, “Have you?”

“No?” Taehyung unconfidently answers. He is sure that this has got to be a trick question.

Yoongi huffs again, obviously not satisfied with Taehyung’s response. He rolls his eyes before chuckling fondly at the boy. “Finish your food. I paid too much for it to go to waste.” He pats the top of Taehyung’s head.

Normally Taehyung would whine and shy away from the touch all embarrassed. This time, he is too relieved about the conversation being over. He immediately shovels food into his mouth as a tactic to avoid anymore scary and confusing questions from Yoongi.

Yoongi walks into the studio with a paper cup of coffee from the cafe. There is a small smile on his face as he thinks back to the conversation the two of you had while you made his coffee. He used to actually need the coffee to feel more awake, but these day just seeing has been enough to keep him energized.

Hoseok stares at the coffee cup. The logo on the side is the same as the day before and the day before that. “You’ve been going there a lot,” Hoseok comments. “Are they that good?”

Yoongi shrugs and sets the cup down on the table. “It’s coffee.”

Hoseok picks up the cup and takes a tentative sip. Immediately, his face scrunches in disgust as the overly bitter taste hits his tongue. “That shit is toxic, man. What the fuck is that?” He places the cup down a bit forcefully.

Yoongi shrugs again. “A shit ton of caffeine.” He picks up the cup and takes his own swig of the drink. Hoseok watches in amazement as Yoongi is able to drink it so nonchalantly.

“If you say so.”

“Could I convince you to try something different from your usual order?” You ask the next time he came in. “You should switch up the routine; be more spontaneous and less like a grumpy grandpa.”

Yoongi should really be offended by that. He really tries to be offended. But there was just something about the way you look up at him through your long eyelashes that causes him to temporarily forget how to breathe. He gulps as he realizes that you are still waiting for his answer. He nods his head, not trusting his ability to speak.

“Maybe something sweet for Suga?” You giggle at your own joke. It’s the cutest sound he has ever heard. He almost wants to drag you into the studio just to record it so he can listen to your giggle whenever he wants. He wishes he could hear that sound everyday for the rest of his life.

He feels a tugging sensation. He knows it’s the red string. Yoongi tries to ignore it as he watches you make this mystery drink. He tries to forget about it. But the tugging gets stronger and suddenly he feels a bit dizzy. The pull gets too hard for him to ignore.

When you turn back around to hand over the drink, he is gone. You look around confused, maybe he moved to a table. But the cafe is empty besides the old lady who reads in the corner.

You let out a disappointed sigh.

It takes him awhile to return - approximately two weeks. He staggers through the door the same way he did the first night, just minutes before closing. He has deep dark bags underneath his eyes.

“A shit ton of caffeine?” You ask as grab a paper cup to make his drink. He grunts a noise of agreement. “Everything alright, Yoongi?” You ask over you shoulder. You don’t expect a response, at least not until he has consumed half the cup.

He happily takes the cup when you hand it over to him. You eyes watch in amusement as he drinks it right away even with the liquid still steaming.

“Has work been keeping you busy?” You ask. You want to ask why he left so suddenly last time. You want to ask if it was something that you did.

Yoongi sighs as he places the empty cup on the counter. “Yeah, we’re working on a new album.”

You nod you head. “You want a refill?” You pick up the cup before he could even answer and began making him another cup.

His hands grazes over yours as he takes the cup out of your hand. This time he simply holds the drink as he watches you wipe down the counter top.

“I miss you,” he says quietly.

It’s so quiet that you barely even heard it, despite that the cafe is silent and empty. You freeze in shock. When you finally find the courage to look up at him, he is already gone.

“Ooh coffee.” Namjoon’s face immediately lights up as he watches Yoongi walk into the studio with a cup in hand. He reaches his hand out to steal the drink from the older rapper.

Hoseok squawks as he slaps Namjoon’s hands away. “You do not want to drink that. I tried it last time and it was so bitter and gross.”

Yoongi glares at Hoseok. “I think it tastes great,” he argues. “Just because you do not have the palette to handle the fine taste of coffee.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Namjoon declares as he takes the cup out of Yoongi’s hand. He takes in a big gulp and swallowed slowly. His nose is scrunched and his lips pursed. “What is even that?”

Yoongi shrugs as he plops down on the leather sofa. “A shit ton of caffeine.”

“I don’t even think that should be classified as edible,” Hoseok comments.

Yoongi shows up in the middle of the day this time. It’s a bit busier and someone else is ringing up orders. The line is moving slowly causing Yoongi to shift on his feet and sigh every few minutes. By the time he gets to the front of the line, he mind blanks out.

He stares up at the menu but he seems to be suffering from temporary illiteracy because he can’t make out any of the drinks. The barista sighs impatiently. “Um… a shit ton of caffeine?” he tries. He winces at his inability to come up with an actual order. He doesn’t even want the coffee. He just wanted to see you.

The barista face slowly shift from a face of disinterest to a knowing smirk as she hears the order. Yoongi begins to feel a bit nervous as she eyes him. “Would you like whip with that?” she asks in a fake polite tone, her smirk turning into a mischievous grin.

Yoongi decides that he does not like this new barista. “Does it normally come with whip?” Yoongi asks back.

Her head falls back in laughter. Once she composes herself she leans over to shout at the doorway to the staff room.“Y/N!”

“What?!” Your voice shouts back.

“Does a shit ton of caffeine come with whip?!” She yells back.

There’s a loud gasp followed by the scrapping of a chair on the floor. You hurriedly poke your head out from the staff room. “Yoongi!” You great happily. You pick up a paper cup and begin to make his drink.

“I thought you were on break? You wouldn’t even help me through the rush,” your co-worker teases as she pokes at your side playfully.

“Shut up, Wheein!”

Sadly, Yoongi had to leave shortly after you made his drink. The cafe was too busy for him to stick around and talk to you.

He brings the cup up to his lip to take a drink when red ink on the side catches his eyes. He hold the cup up and spins it around to see what was on the side.

Miss you too

Jin watches Yoongi with amazement and concern. He watches as the younger boy sings a long to some Girl’s Generation love song with a giant smile on his face. He is sprawled out on his bed comfortably while scrolling on his phone.

“Yoongi,” Jimin beings in his caring motherly tone. His eyebrows furrow slightly. “Is everything alright? You’ve been acting strange lately…”

Yoongi stops his singing and looks over at Jin. “What do you mean?” He asks. “I’m great. Happy even!” Yoongi adds.

Jin chews nervously on his bottom lip before responding. “Well, that’s the thing. You’re never happy…” His voice falters by the end of his statement as he fidgets under Yoongi’s glare.

“What do you mean? I can be happy.” Yoongi scoffs.

“Yeah, but…You’re like radiating, Yoongi,” Jin attempts to explain. He has seen Yoongi happy, like when they finally debuted in BTS or when they won an award. But it had been a different kind of happiness, like a relieved happiness. This time, Yoongi seems to just be bubbly.

“Well, I hear that it’s a symptom of love.” Yoongi falls back onto his bed. His attention returns to his phone, as if he hadn’t said anything important.

Jin gasps. His mouth falls open as he stares at Yoongi with wide eyes. “Oh my gosh!” He exclaims before rushing over to flop on the bed next to him. “Why haven’t you told anyone? Oh my gosh!” He exclaims giddily.

Yoongi grins as he places his phone down. “Do you still think I’m acting strange?” He jokes. “I’m a man in love.”

Jin pinches his side which causes Yoongi to hiss. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” He repeats.

“What is there to tell?” Yoongi questions back.

“That you met your soulmate!” Jin exclaims. “What else?!” Jin immediately notices the change in Yoongi’s demeanor. The unusual grin is now replaced with a solemn look. “Yoongi? What’s wrong?” Jin questions. He immediately reverts back into his caring motherly tone as he rubs soothing circles into Yoongi’s shoulder.

“It’s not my soulmate,” Yoongi responds quietly.

Jin frowns. His eyebrows furrow. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m in love with someone who isn’t my soulmate,” Yoongi clarifies in a whisper. His eyes are squeezed shut. He can feel a coldness as Jin removes his hand from him. He can feel the shift in his bed as Jin puts distance between the two.

He knows that he messed up by the sound of the bedroom door shutting. When he opens his eyes, he’s alone. Everything feels bitter.

There’s a tugging on his finger. He glances down at the red string wrapped around his finger with a heavy feeling in his chest. “This is all your fault,” Yoongi whispers towards the string. “If only you could have gotten it right.”

It’s a quiet dinner in the BTS dorm. Jin refuses to look anywhere near Yoongi. Yoongi pushes the food around on his plate but doesn’t actually take any bites. The others have seemed to pick up on the tension and have chosen to remain silent.

“Is everything alright?” Hoseok bravely asks, breaking the silence in the dorm. It’s probably the first time the dorm has been this quiet with them home.

Jin lets out an exasperated sigh in response. Yoongi slumps in his seat.

Out of nowhere, Jimin is yanked out of his seat. He lets out a small yelp as he lands on the floor. “I swear to God, Taehyung if you don’t stop doing that!” He snaps as Jungkook helps him off of the floor.

Taehyung shoots him an innocent look from the other side of the table. “What did I do? I’m no where near you!” He defends through a mouthful of food.

“We went over this Taehyung. Swallow and then talk,” Jimin chides with a sigh.

“I thought that rule was only for when we’re in bed.”

Hoseok cackles loudly. Namjoon chuckles and shakes his head slightly. Jungkook squeaks as his face turns red. Jin glares at Taehyung for the inappropriate statement. Yoongi rolls his eyes at the scene.

Jimin’s jaw drop before he angrily plops back into his seat. He grumbles under his breath, the only words that any of them being able to make out is fate and soulmate.

Jin throws his chopsticks onto the table. Yoongi flinches away while everyone else is startled.

“Is everything alright?” Namjoon asks, not realizing that he is just repeating the same unanswered question that Hoseok had asked merely minutes before.

Jin huffs before stomping away from the table silently. Yoongi shrinks into himself.

“So what’s the deal with the grump?” Wheein asks you. It is a particularly slow morning. At first, you ignore the question; but then she smacks you on the butt. You let out a startle yelp before lightly pushing her aside.

“We don’t get paid to gossip!” You scold.

Wheein scoffs. “You know I’m not going to shut up about it until you tell me about it.”

“What is there to tell?” You whine as you try to walk away from her. She back hugs you and traps you between her and the counter.

“Come on!”

“Seriously Wheein?” You laugh in disbelief. “Okay, he’s kind of cute.” You finally admit. Her hold on you drops. “Maybe a lot cute?”

Wheein squeals and jumps around. “I knew it!” She shouts joyously. “Since the first time you told me about his weird order!”

You laugh at her reaction. Your cheeks slowly start to burn. Your lips purse in thought. “But.”

Wheein stops her cheering at that word. “Oh no. You’re over thinking it. Stop overthinking it!” She shakes your shoulders and you have to shove her away from you.

“I think he has a soulmate,” you state slowly. Your tone drops and you fidget with your fingers nervously.

Wheein rolls her eyes, “Everyone has a soulmate.”

“Sometimes I catch him staring at his string - well his finger - and it’s like he feels guilty for flirting with me,” You sighs. You shoulders slump forward.

“You know platonic soulmates are a thing, right?” Wheein asks as pats your back.

You scoff. “Yeah, in America. We’re in South Korea, remember. People get married within days of meeting their soulmate.”

Wheein sighs. “All that matters is that you guys have feelings for each other. Don’t let what people think mess with that. Besides, who’s going to know that you’re not really soulmates. No one else can see that your strings don’t connect.”

The door chimes as a customer walks into the cafe. Wheein gives you an encouraging smile as she moves to help the customer.

“But what happens when he meets his soulmate? Where does that leave me?” You whisper to yourself with a sigh.

“How’s your soulmate?” Yoongi asks suddenly.

Namjoon looks up from the lyrics on his screen to look at Yoongi. His eyebrows furrow slightly as he watches Yoongi nervously fidget. “She’s alright. We skyped last night.”

Yoongi nods his head. “So like…” He hesitates with his next statement. “I mean… Are you guys like romantic or…”

Namjoon’s eyebrows raises as he stares at Yoongi in surprise. He wasn’t really expecting this question. He knew his situation is a bit unconventional but none of the boys had bothered to ask him about once everything had finally settled.

“I’m sorry, if that’s to private. I’m just…It must be hard having a soulmate who lives so far away,” Yoongi clarifies. He clears his throat nervously and avoids looking directly at Namjoon.

“No, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it,” Namjoon finally answers. “I mean, we’re just whatever.”

“Whatever?” Yoongi asks. What does that even mean? Even Yoongi knows that you aren’t suppose to call your soulmate ‘whatever’.

“Just going with the flow, I guess.” Namjoon clarifies. “We aren’t putting any labels on it.”

Yoongi nods his head as he tries to understand it. He sighs as he leans back into the sofa. His eyes falls close. “Do you ever wish that you had it easier?”

“Easier?” Namjoon questions, his attention turns back to his computer screen.

“Like Jimin and Taehyung.”

Jimin and Taehyung. The poster boys of soulmates. Inseparable. Loyal. So sweet that it is sickening. The easiest soulmates ever. Taehyung noticed that their red strings were connected during their first meeting and had screamed “Holy shit my soulmate has the cutest cheeks!” Jimin was taken aback at first and was a little shy at first. But Taehyung had practically clung onto him until he no choice but to get used to Taehyung eccentricities.

Namjoon looks over at Yoongi one last time. “It’s only hard if you make it hard.” Yoongi smirks. Leave it to Namjoon to say something philosophical like that. “I mean besides Jin’s situation. His is really hard.”

Yoongi opens his eyes at that. His eyebrows furrow and his nose scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Namjoon shakes his head. “I shouldn’t say. It’s his story.”

It’s only hard if I make it hard. It’s only hard if I make it hard. It’s only hard if I make it hard.

It repeats in Yoongi’s head like a mantra as he confidently strides into the cafe. He makes his way towards the counter. Wheein nudges you to get your attention. You look up from the recipe of a new drink you were supposed to learn how to make.

“Yoongi!” You greet happily. You hand automatically reaches for a paper cup. “It’s been awhile,” you continue.

“Is it possible for me to see you outside of the setting of your job?”

He questions shocks you, causing you to drop the cup full of hot liquid onto the ground. “Oh shit.” Yoongi smiles at the curses that fall out of your mouth. He finds it adorable. It’s a stark contrast from your happy and giggly personality.

Wheein shoos you away from the puddle. “Her shift is over now, if that works for you,” she answers on your behalf.

“That’s perfect,” Yoongi beams.

“But -”

“I’ll call Hwasa to come in!” Wheein shoos you away.

You stare at her in disbelief. Of course you want to hang out with Yoongi and get to know him better. But your job had become your security blanket. Would he even like you when you weren’t supplying him with caffeine?

“Sorry that I can’t really take you out,” Yoongi apologizes. You had both finished off some instant ramen in the studio and were now lounging on the sofa. “It’s an occupational hazard.” His cheeks are tinged pink out of embarrassment.

You giggle at how cute he looks. “It’s fine. I just like your company.” You shift so that you are closer to him and drape your legs across his lap.

“I just like you,” the words were out of his mouth before he could control it. His eyes squeeze shut nervously as he sucks in a breath. He had not meant to say that so soon. He didn’t want to scare you off or make you uncomfortable.

“Hey,” you call softly, trying to get him to look at you. When his eyes refuses to open, you grab his hand. His body stiffens, he can feel your fingertips run across his index finger, the finger where his red string is tied to. “If only I could see it, huh?” You whispered. “Have you met them?”

“No.” Yoongi answers in a whisper. You don’t know why you guys are whispering as if your are exchanging secrets. “Have you?”

It’s the first time in a long time that you look down at your own string. The dull grey that wraps around your index finger. The string that will never tug or pull. The string that is as lifeless as the soul on the other side. The string that only you could see.


If only your string were red. If only it were connected to Yoongi.

Yoongi breathes in deeply. “Do you love them?”

If his eyes were open, if he would look at you, he would see the tears that are building up in your eyes.

“Y-yes.” It’s shaky and breathy. You almost wanted to lie. You almost wanted say that you didn’t. But you couldn’t lie, not about your soulmate. Your soulmate deserved better. Yoongi deserved better.

Yoongi never thought that a single word could shatter his heart.

Yoongi returns to the dorm late. By the time he gets there, Jin is pretending that he is asleep. Yoongi sighs as he drops himself onto his bed in the dark. “Jin?” he calls, his voice carries the heartbreak that he is feeling.

Jin tenses on his bed. He contemplates pretending some more. But then he hears the sniffling coming from the other side of the room. He rolls over so that he is facing Yoongi even though he can’t see him in the dark. “Yoongi?”

“It hurts,” Yoongi cries. “I should have listened to you and everyone else.”

Jin slowly sits up. It’s been awhile since he has seen Yoongi break down like this. Yoongi doesn’t like appearing weak, he refuses to cry. The last time he saw anything like this, Jin had found him at the studio. Yoongi claims that no one has to see it if he cries in the studio. “What are you talking about?” Jin asks.

“She has a soulmate…”

“I don’t get it. What happened?” Wheein envelopes you into a warm hug as you cry into shoulder. “I thought he liked you.” She rubs soothing circles into your back. “Come on, tell me what happened.”

You took in a deep breath as you pull away from her. “He asked me if I love my soulmate. I didn’t even get a chance to explain myself!” You whined as tears fall from your eyes.

Wheein gives you a sympathetic smile as she hugs you again. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll comeback. He probably just needs a bit of air, you know!” She sways your bodies back in forth. “And if not, I mean he is an idol and not that hard to find. I could always go smack some sense into him. Me and Hwasa can roll deep at their next schedule.”

You laugh as you pull away from Wheein again. “I forget that when you guys aren’t making coffee or googly eyes at each other that you are thugs,” you joke back.

“We have to do something about him,” Hoseok whispers. BTS minus Yoongi are in an emergency meeting in their kitchen. “I mean, he’s always been a grump but this is just too much. I mean what even happen?”

Jin smacks Taehyung’s hands away from fruit he was chopping. “This is for Yoongi,” he scolds. He sighs as Taehyung gives him puppy eyes. “That doesn’t work on me.”

Taehyung pouts before draping his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Jin is being mean!” He whines.

“Taehyung, stay on topic!” Jimin hisses. “We are discussing Yoongi. Your Daegu boy. You should be concerned.”

“He was really happy for a moment,” Jungkook comments. “I mean, he even compliment Taehyung’s rapping that one time.”

Jin sighs and rolls his neck. “He’s just heartbroken guys. He’s not dying or anything.” He arranges the fruit onto a tray nicely. “He’ll get over it.”

“What do you mean he’s heartbroken?” Taehyung asks. His eyebrows are furrowed as the words reminds him of a distant conversation he once had.

“How do you know he’s heartbroken? I didn’t even know people could get heartbroken!” Hoseok is absolutely astonished. They were always taught that heartbreak is just a concept, fictional, an element that is added to make a story more interesting.

Namjoon blinks at his groupmate before looking over at Jin with a concern look. Jin gives them all a tense smile, barely holding himself together. “Things aren’t always perfect,” he says through clenched teeth. “I mean, remember when Namjoon’s soulmate ran away from him? Remember how hurt he was? Namjoon’s been heartbroken.” Jin explains as he picks up the tray. “Right?” He raises an eyebrow at Namjoon.

“Yeah, and I survived so Yoongi will too,” Namjoon locks eyes with Jin. Even though Namjoon had said Yoongi, Jin knew his name was added on silently.

“So he met his soulmate? Why didn’t he tell us?” Jimin asks.

Taehyung drops his arm from around Jimin. He is standing straight and his eyes are widen in realization. “Holy shit,” he whispers.

“Language,” Jin hisses.

“Hello!” Wheein greets the new customer with a smile. “What can I get for you?”

“Um…” The customer fidgets. “So like I think my friend met someone here. Like maybe they worked here or they were a regular. He would come in almost daily and order this most bitterest drink ever, it’s practically toxic. He said it was called - excuse my language please - a shit ton of caffeine or something?”

Wheein smiles drops with a sigh. “I thought you looked like a BTS member. Jin, right?” Jin nods in response, he opens his mouth to say something but Wheein beats him to it. “Look, Yoongi really hurt Y/N. She’s a nice girl and she really likes him.”

“I don’t get it.” Jin eyebrows furrows. “Yoongi told me that she had a soulmate. That she’s in love with her soulmate.” Jin crosses his arms. “I wanted to come and scold her for leading him on.”

Wheein glares at Jin harshly. Jin gulps and subconsciously takes a step back. “Listen here, Y/N is the sweetest girl ever. She wouldn’t do something like that. Your coward of a friend took off before she could even explain what she meant. But she did not lie about her feelings for him.” Wheein sighs before plastering a fake smile on her face, “Now would you like to order?”

Your head peaks out from the staff room as you hear Wheein voice get louder. “Wheein, you cool?” You asks glance at the man in front of her. Your jaw drops as you notice who it is in the shop. “What are you doing here?” You ask as you step forward.

“Y/N?” Jin asks. “I just…” His words get caught in his throat as he notices Wheein’s glare from over your shoulder.

You notice his attention is on her and nudge her away. “Go check in with Hwasa.” Immediately, her glare is replaced with a smile with a longing sigh. She disappears into the staff room and pulls her phone out of her pocket.

“Right…” Jin continues. “Yoongi is really hurt. He’s not eating or sleeping well,” he explains.

You shrug, “maybe he should listen to people instead of just running away.” You feign a look of disinterest, your guard is up.

“Will you talk to him?” Jin asks. “I just… he told me about you, you know. He said he was in love,” he watches as you chew on your bottom lip. “At first, I didn’t understand it. How could he be in love with someone who wasn’t his soulmate? But like, it is so obvious now that he is.”

“He probably doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“I want you guys to be in love. I want you guys to be so in love and happy and gushy. I just… I need it so that I can have hope, you know?” Jin sighs. “My intentions on coming here was to yell at you. But just seeing you now, I know that you are good for him. So please, will you come talk to him?”


Jin leaves the cafe crestfallen. He could get you to agree to stop by the dorm and talk to Yoongi. But you did agree that if Yoongi came to you that you would talk to him. That seemed more impossible, but it is the only thing that he has right now.

“Why didn’t you go with him?” Wheein asks you after Jin leaves. You are wiping at nonexistent coffee stains.

“If I were to pursue this relationship and things don’t work out, I’m left with nothing,” you explain. You don’t look up from the counter, you knew if you looked at Wheein you wouldn’t be able to explain to yourself. “I already gave a lot of myself to my soulmate. I don’t have much left. If I give it to Yoongi and we don’t work out, I’ll be left with nothing. But Yoongi… he still has a soulmate somewhere. I want to know that he is willing to actually work on this, us.”

“You’re scared that if he meets his soulmate that he’ll leave,” Wheein says as she rubs your back.

Taehyung forces his way onto Yoongi’s bed despite the protests and groans of the older boy. He brings the blanket over their bodies and cuddles into Yoongi’s side.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi groans as he tries to shove the boy away. “Why can’t any of you leave me alone?”

“I listened to the demo of the song you produced,” Taehyung comments. “It’s really good,” he compliments.

“It’s sad,” Yoongi retorts.

He is right. It is a sad song. Taehyung sighs as he wraps his arms around the older boys stomach. “True. I cried when I heard it. But that is what makes it so good. It’s real.” Taehyung bites on his bottom lip as he thinks over his words carefully. “You could really feel the pain when you hear it. Most sad songs sound superficial, especially songs about heartbreak.”

“Taehyung, what do you want?” Yoongi asks. He finally stops trying to push the other off of his bed, deciding that Taehyung wasn’t going to leave him alone anytime soon.

“I believe you, hyung,” Taehyung says. “This whole soulmate thing has stopped us from experiencing. I don’t know what heartbreak feels like. I most likely won’t because I’m lucky to have Jimin and I was a sitting duck until he came into my life. I won’t know what a first love is. I have only one love. My life is a constant stream of happiness. Even if we bicker, Jimin was meant for me so we will never have a really big argument. I think that biggest argument we had was when I didn’t fold the laundry when I said I would. But guess what? Jimin is my soulmate, so he didn’t even get that mad. We can’t be mad at each other, no matter how hard we try.”

“Thank you for reminding me how happy and perfect your life is,” Yoongi grumbles. “Thank you for reminding me how pathetic mine is.”

“That is not what I mean!” Taehyung whines. He sits up, causing the blankets to fall off of them. “Just listen. I don’t know what pain is!”

“That’s a good thing. Pain fucking sucks.”

Taehyung flails his arms dramatically. “No! It’s not! Yoongi, your song is absolutely beautiful because you know what pain is. You can write about real pain. But it also makes it so that you can appreciate that good things better. I take it all for granted because I never have a down. I’m all up up up up.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Yoongi scoffs.

“It is. Sometimes I get so tired of being happy all of the times.” Taehyung huffs. “I mean Jimin is great and all, perfect actually,” he ignores how Yoongi snorts at that comment. “Okay, I’m not explaining this well at all.”

“Really?” Yoongi comments sarcastically with an eyeroll.

“You’re music is beautiful because the pain is real. That is something that none of us will ever really achieve,” Taehyung stands up from the bed slowly. “I can’t sing about true pain. Neither can the rest of us.” He makes his way towards the door, “You asked me if I had ever met anyone who experienced heartbreak. I can finally say yes.”

Jin hums to himself as he stir the contents of the pot on the stove. He tries to occupy his mind away from thoughts on Yoongi’s new demo. The song had been beautiful but it was also sad. Jin couldn’t help but to feel slightly guilty about the situation.

“You know, I have never had my heartbroken.”

Namjoon’s deep voice startles him. He accidentally drops the wooden spoon into the pot which causes a splatter of sauce everywhere. “Namjoon, learn to announce your presence, will you?”

Namjoon gives him an apologetic smile as he picks up a towel to wipe up the mess. “I just… You told the others that I experienced heartbreak. But I never did.”

“I know that,” Jin answers. “I’m sorry for lying. I just couldn’t handle telling them about…” Jin makes gestures with his hands and purses his lips. “You were just a bit sad, but mostly hopeful.”

Namjoon nods. “At first I thought I was heartbroken. But it was more of a missing feeling, you know?” He tosses the dirty rag into the sink. “Is Yoongi really heartbroken?”

“Did you hear the song?” Jin scoffs. He then sighs and leans back against the counter tops.

“Soulmates never hurt that bad,” Namjoon responds. “They are made perfect for us. So perfect, that even when they die they leave us peacefully.” He eyes Jin curiously. “It’s not a soulmate that he is heartbroken about, is it?”

Jin purses his lips as he avoids answering. It didn’t matter, Namjoon already figured it out. “It’s complicated.”

“Are you heartbroken?”

The questions catches Jin off guard. His eyes widen and he subconsciously leans further away from Namjoon. He tears his eyes away from Namjoon and stares at the tile floor. “Some days I think I am.”

“And the other days?”

“Other days… other days I feel hopeful.”

It’s ten minutes from closing. You let out a long sigh as you finish up wiping all the tables in the cafe. It was a long day. Everyday is a long day when you don’t see Yoongi.

The door chimes as a customer walks in. You internally groan as you make your way around the counter. “Hi. What can I get for you?”

“A shit ton of caffeine?”

The familiar voice has you gasping as the rag you were cleaning with falls out of your hand. You look up to see Yoongi standing on the other side of the counter. You want to squeeze him into a tight hug but you also want to smack him.

“Three weeks,” you say. You cross your arms and narrow your eyes at him.

“What?” Yoongi asks.

“You made me wait three whole weeks, Yoongi. That’s what!” You snap at him. “You walk out on me without giving me a chance to explain and then you make me wait three whole weeks!”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi drops his gaze to his shoes as he fidgets nervously. “I just… I’m not good at these things.”

You sigh before busying yourself by making his drink. “It’s been awhile since I had to make this,” you comment. “I hope it taste the same.”

“Anything you make will taste good,” he claims. You hand him his cup. He takes it out of your hands and place it on the counter, surprising you. You raise an eyebrow at him but he reaches over and grabs your hand. “Let me ask you again, I promise I won’t run away this time.”


“Do you love your soulmate?” Yoongi asks. He braces himself for your answer.

“Yes,” you answer. “I do love my soulmate.” Yoongi nods his head, urging you to continue. “I will always love my soulmate. But.” Your words halt as you notice Yoongi dropping your hands. You grip on tightly, refusing to let him go. “But, my soulmate passed away many years ago.”

Yoongi really shouldn’t feel so relieved. You had just announced that your soulmate died. It’s really not right to be celebrating this. But a part of him is glad that there is no competition for your heart. He can deal with you loving your soulmate as a memory as long as you loved him now.

“Do you love me?” He couldn’t hide the hopeful tone in his voice. He chastises himself for sounding too eager.

“I could,” you answer. You could see yourself falling for Yoongi easily. You could fall for the cold grump that turns soft a giggly for you.

Yoongi nods. He could work with that. He could build a relationship with you - someone who is not his soulmate.

“Did you fix it?” Jin asks him a week later when he notices that Yoongi’s good mood has returned. Yoongi looks over at his roommate with a smile.

“Yeah. It’s just a misunderstanding,” Yoongi answers. He tilts his head to the side as he looks Jin over. “I thought you would have been happy for it not to work out.”

“I would never be happy about you being hurt,” Jin responds, slightly offended.

“I mean, when I first told you about her -”

“I overreacted,” Jin interrupts. “Soulmates are sacred. But our friendship is more sacred Yoongi. You can’t help who you fall in love with, but you can chose who you want to make a relationship work with.”

Yoongi snorts. “Be careful there, Jin. You’re beginning to sound like Namjoon.”

“Yoongi,” Jin calls for his attention once more. He has a burning desire to tell him the truth; however, when Yoongi finally locks eyes with him, his temporary bravery is caught in his throats. He coughs once and gives Yoongi a sheepish grin. The words that falls out of his mouth next are not what he had wanted to say, but it makes Yoongi smile - and today that is enough for Jin. “Yoongi, you know you are leading a revolution here?” He stares as the red string wrapped around Yoongi’s index finger.

Yoongi laughs loudly. “Huh. Another thing to add to my resume. Min Yoongi: idol, rapper, genius, revolutionary leader.”

Witchcraft in the Media: Hail, the Lion King!

Originally posted by disneymoviesanywhere

Disney classics are no strangers to us. In fact, those of us who were born in the late ‘80′s and early ‘90′s practically grew up on Disney’s golden age and are bearing witness to a bit of a Disney renaissance. Throughout each Disney film, magic has a tendency to play a prominent role in some way: either it is meant to assist the main character, or it is meant to hinder. Later on, the role of magic became a little more fuzzy - the curse cast on the Prince in Beauty and the Beast, for instance, was meant to assist the Prince but was perceived otherwise.

But one Disney classic stands out in my mind as being fairly devoid of any kind of cinematic curses or spells: The Lion King. This 1994 film is magical in and of itself, to be sure. There is hardly a ‘90′s child out there who hasn’t cried over the death of Mufasa or sung along with Timon and Pumbaa during “Hakuna Matata.” The animation and the music are exceptional, and while many cite the story’s many parallels with Hamlet as being part of why the story endures almost two decades later, I tend to think that it goes a bit deeper than that.

First, a brief overview for those who haven’t seen the film for some reason. The Lion King follows the story of Simba, a young lion cub, and his coming of age and journey to discover his role as king. Though naive in his youth, he is forced to flee his kingdom after his power-hungry uncle, Scar, framed him for murdering his father. Convinced that he is responsible for his father’s death and afraid to return, he stays hidden in an oasis paradise while Scar’s tyranny reigns supreme over the kingdom. Simba is discovered by Nala, his childhood friend who had run from home in search of help, who tries to convince him to return home. Faced with a choice between returning home and staying put, he begins to question who he is and where he belongs. With a little help from Rafiki - a baboon shaman - he comes to terms with his past and returns home to dethrone his uncle and become the proper king.

Originally posted by grumbleofpuggies

Aside from giant lion heads in the sky during a moment of revelation, the movie tends to lack a supernatural component, which separates it a bit from quite a few other Disney movies. But we need look no further than the opening scene to see that the film is laden with magic and pagan symbolism.

Before I go any further, I am not approaching this from the standpoint of African religious beliefs. I am no expert regarding that subject, and will not pretend to be. Instead, these are observations made from the point of view of a witch who was watching for moments where spirituality was prominent. So keep that in mind as we head forward.

I’m going to focus on that first scene to start, but these themes can be found throughout The Lion King. This opening scene, backed by a version of Elton John’s “Circle of Life,” shows the animals of Africa gathering to see their newborn prince for the first time. When they’ve gathered, Rafiki arrives and presents Simba to the kingdom in a ritual reminiscent of a blessing or baptism before the scene concludes.

I mentioned earlier that Rafiki was a shaman. there is a reason as to why I refer to him as this instead of as a “witch doctor” as I’ve seen him referred to in other analyses. To begin, let’s consider the music playing.

A core, running theme in many pagan religions and forming the groundwork for most shamanic practices is that life and nature does not run in a linear fashion. Instead, the belief is that every “beginning” is an end, and every “end” is a beginning. Everything is cyclical, and this is often seen where reincarnation is a huge part of a belief. What binds many of these religions and beliefs together is that all must be treated with love and respect.

When the animals are gathered, we see Rafiki walking among the crowd toward Pride Rock, and this is a key moment to consider. As he passes, the crowd parts to let him through, and bows as he walks by. Shamans in shamanic practice are treated with great respect, often honored and followed more closely than a chief or king. This is because the shaman is the mouthpiece of spirituality.

A shaman was believed to be able to cross into the spirit realm - often through dreams or vision quests - and back, bringing ancient knowledge and wisdom with them for the betterment of society. They were historians and healers, capable of working magic and acts of prophecy. In addition, they were the religious leaders of society, guiding the younger generations in matters of the heart and spirit.

The fact that Rafiki is treated with such deference is an indicator that he is a figure of authority, and the warm greeting between him and Mufasa shows that in addition to being friends, they are on equal footing.

After seeing baby Simba, he smiles and shakes a rattle of gourds over the cub. Growing up, I’d often thought that he was gently playing with Simba as a parent or close relative might with a newborn. But as I got older and deeper into my spirituality, I began to find that that explanation didn’t sit right. Eventually, I realized what purpose the rattle has.

Like bells in modern witchcraft, rattles are instruments used for more than just music. They held a ritual purpose as cleansing tools, as well. And frequently seen in many cultures, percussion instruments are used for anything ranging from communication (both between living parties and the spirit world) to cleansing to even summoning or invoking a spell. Rafiki shaking his rattle over Simba was not simply an act of affection. It was the start of the ritual - a cleansing act before the blessing.

Breaking open a fruit (possibly a gourd or melon), Rafiki then anoints Simba’s head with some of the juices. This is the blessing act, which in other cultures may be done with oil. Food is a source of life, but fruit is also cool and refreshing in hot climes. In addition to this, the juice is a source of water. Nearly every culture has some sort of respect shown toward water due to its life-giving properties (i.e. baptism in Christianity, ritual washing of feet in several other cultures, blessing of water in all cultures). Anointing Simba’s head with water is a wonderful way of both blessing the child as well as encouraging a connection with the elements.

This is further reinforced by the scattering of dust over the juices (accompanied by an adorable sneeze). Like water, nearly every belief system acknowledges to a certain extent that we come from the earth. By blessing Simba with both earth and water, Rafiki is connecting the cub with the two most respected elements in nature religion (arguably… some would say that air is just as respected, or fire respected out of fear…).

Simba is then presented to the animals of the kingdom, raised up and graced by sunlight. The animals make quite a bit of noise before bowing, and like the rattle, I had at one point thought that they did so simply out of excitement. But with further reflection, I do think there may have been an additional reason. In some cultures, producing a lot of loud noise is said to drive away negative energy and evil spirits. This can be done during rites and holidays, but also as a way of protecting a newborn. It’s possible that this could be part of Simba’s blessing - a communal act of protection.

So within that first scene, we have a huge amount of pagan symbolism, and a strong acknowledgement of shamanic belief. But these themes don’t stop there.

Later on in the film, Mufasa pulls Simba aside to discuss the young cub’s duty to the kingdom when he comes of age. He points out the stars and explains to Simba that each star is the light of an ancestor, watching and guiding the living so as to protect the kingdom, even after they have passed away.

Ancestor worship is part and parcel to many shamanic and pagan paths, and honoring one’s ancestors is a theme found in nearly every culture in some form or another - consider Samhain in Celtic belief, Dia de los Muertos in Mexican Catholicism, and mummification in various cultures. In shamanism, the shaman is sometimes seen as the mouthpiece of the ancestors, communicating their wisdom with the living. In addition, respecting and honoring ancestors helps us see and learn more about ourselves.

This very same aspect of ancestor worship is brought up again midway through the film (during a moment of stargazing between Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa) and then closer to the climax when Rafiki reminds Simba that Mufasa lives on through Simba’s legacy. 

Originally posted by great-circleoflife

Easily the most magical moment in the film is Simba’s discussion with Mufasa - a moment of revelation in which the young Prince is tasked with remembering his place in the Circle of Life. But this same magical moment further emphasizes the role ancestors play in some beliefs.

In Conclusion…

While music and the Shakespearean inspirations behind The Lion King may play a part in what makes this movie so relatable, I do feel that it goes much deeper. To some extent, we all have some part of our pagan origins still living on in our lives today. Whether this is in our culture or religion, it chimes in with our more primal selves.

So with this movie, Disney didn’t have to choose an arcane villain or cast any kind of spell on the main character in order to communicate with us. All the movie needed to do was identify with the magic that we have in our lives already, turning it into a timeless classic.

Blessed Be! )O(

superfastjellyfish3  asked:

Hello, could you do a text reaction to his s/o blowing off another date with him to hang out with another member with Suga, V and Jungkook pweez


He knows you’re busy, and he’s perfectly alright with respecting your need for time alone and time to focus on work and friendship, but this was really taking things a step too far. He can feel his eyebrows rising at sight of your slumped state, eyes fixated on a glowing monitor as you hammer away furiously at brightly colored buttons.

“You said you were busy?” He can’t keep his incredulousness out of the tone, and it’s pitched slightly higher than he admits it to be.

“Uh..” You reply half-heartedly, fingers still lingering on the buttons. “Kind of. I’ve been detaching myself from society all morning to finish this level.”

Whole morning?” He turns to Jimin for confirmation, and finds sad truth in your words. “You were here the whole time, playing games with him?‘”

You send him a sorry look, before subjecting the ‘X’ key to a barrage of furious attacks.

He wearily buries his forehead into a hand, ”Oh my god.


He shrugs internally at your refusal, remembering that Hobi’s studio was just around the corner. However, upon entering, it was a shock, to say the least, to see you sitting there, legs crossed, head bopping to a personal rhythm as you’re lost in your music. A slight annoyance flares; busy, huh? Walking over silently, he pulls the cord from your phone, and you look up, startled that you’re abruptly cut off from your musical experience. Your eyes widen, inexplicably, as you ascertain the identity of the shadow before you.

Busy?” An eyebrow is quirked; though his smile is genuine, there’s a little hardness that pools subtly in his expression.

You laugh, rolling your eyes at his unsubtle peacocking, “I’m recording a guide for Hobi’s new song and he had no other free slot, I’ll have lunch later.”

“You better make up for this;” He smiles, without malice, and places a soft kiss, chaste but lingering, against the corner of your lips, “Tonight.


He’s a little sad that you’re not available, but he does realize that he’s been a little clingy the past few days, so he shrugs it off, knowing that you’ll hang out tomorrow, or the day after. However, he spies a familiar figure that has him raise a hand and shout a greeting before he was fully aware.

“Y/N?” A small grin forming upon his features, “What a coincidence!”

You smile, surprised, “Didn’t know you were in the area either! I’m meeting up with Namjoon a while later!”

He’s a little hurt, but he exaggerates the feelings into a seemingly playful pout, “Why not with me?

He’s not a very good liar, you realize, because there’s an expressiveness to his eyes that makes things impeccably clear, “I’m helping him on his album, he just really wants to bounce some ideas off me, you know?” You duck your head shyly, “I’ll see you later, though? If you want to meet up?”

“Definitely,“ He’s clearly unhappy, but the reassurance of meeting up soon lightens his mood, and he catches you in a hug, “See you later!”

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The Gym Meeting

It had been about 2 months since you’d arrived in South Korea. Seoul to be exact and it was just about everything you wanted and wished it to be. Exciting nightlife, amazing restaurants and first rate medical care that practically shat on the US. However; you came here for school. College was a daunting task, but winning out on that international scholarship, after 2 years of applying and going to Korea had been a dream of yours since 7th grade. So, here you were, after saving up money for 5 years (which had been no small feat) in your own small apartment. Playing sports all through high school had granted you an athletic figure but, you admit you couldn’t fight genetics and were a curvy girl.

5 feet 7 inches tall, long legs, thick thighs, muscular arms you definitely stood out in Korea among the petite, lithe, short women but that was good right? Going from the melting pot of the United States to a homogenous society had been a culture shock that you were well-prepared for-but still.

Standing in the foyer of your apartment she tied her 3c curls up and wrapped her hair into a pineapple on the top of her head. No getting these curls sweaty it was hard enough finding good enough hair products here for brown girls. Shoes on, keys in hand, she’d sigh and head out the door.

It wasn’t a long walk to the gym and in truth jogging there should have crossed your mind but, you didn’t. It was better to take in the sights around you and people watch along the way. A few people recognized you and nodded in your direction. Others smiled and some asked how you were as you walked. Your Korean had improved exponentially being immersed in the language, and you smiled a little realizing that. The doors to the gym locked after 9pm requiring a passcode and, the bright green LED lit keys just turned on as you waited for the door to unlock and let you inside.

The clean smell of bleach and, the slight tinge of sweat greeted your nose as you slipped on your Beats and turned on a special playlist for her workout. Jay Park began to sing as you stepped onto a treadmill and began to jog. Unbeknownst to you a special guest would be entering the gym soon.

Not wanting to be recognized Jackson Wang had donned a face mask and beanie and walked into the gym a little farther than he liked to travel but would offer him some peace of mind. It was his first time here and, although he tried to drag Mark out of the room he was content with being alone. As he entered the room, a few men here and there, the woman in the corner, with the ass to make his heart weak caught his attention. Yes. He would like it here. This was a good gym, 4 stars, Jackson approved. She had headphones on and so, he took up his place behind the treadmills on the leg machines to watch her. For scientific purposes, of course. Not being a pervert. Jackson bit his lip behind the mask, praying that she kept running a bit longer. Did she do squats? He’d help her with squats. Her long tanned legs a deep sandy brown, long waist. Her curly hair was on top of her head tied with a scarf. He watched her intently, wondering if he should speak to her or not.

Jackson’s current obsession was finished with her run and slowly climbed off the machine, breathing deeply, taking a sip of water. The masked man on the leg press caught her eye as she noticed he watched her cross the room and, start on her squats.

“Weird” She said to herself concentrating on reps and getting as low as she could. He got off his machine just as she slipped her earphones off and he moved towards her starting on his arms. Ok, she couldn’t lie he had a reason to show off and he was definitely making it known that she should look. Each grunt and heavy breath, he looked back at her to see if she was looking his way.

She smiled, turning away and glancing back every once in awhile only to meet his eyes in the mirror as he was watching her. She could talk to him, she could ask him if he wanted her to watch or were they going to play peek-a-boo the whole time. No, she wasn’t that pent up and continued her set. Jackson briefly wondered if she was interested but they met eyes, and had met eyes, several times. He was an outgoing guy, talkative and friendly and although people thought he was a ladies man, in truth Jackson was shy around women until he got to know them. Oh shit, she was leaving, his heart skipped a little bit. He watched her talk to a guy at the counter and laugh with him before she turned to look at him one more time. This is it Jackson, do something. He put up 2 fingers saluting her off, and she grinned, shaking her head walking out the door. Before he left Jackson asked the guy at the counter who she was.

“Oh her? She’s been coming here for 2 months, Nice girl. Quiet. Why?”

Jackson shrugged, earning the guys disapproving glance. “She’s a good girl.” The owner chipped in as a warning before turning away putting some towels away.

It seemed to be some kind of game between them. For a week and a half she’d go to the gym around the same time, only to see the mysterious stranger show up after her or he was already there seemingly waiting. They’d make eye contact and she would smile at him only to have him wave at her. They never talked, although one time they did run on the treadmill side by side.  Tonight though, she couldn’t go. The professor had requested a group project and she met up with a few students to go over the basics. The same with the next day, fine tuning her own part. The third day, she wondered if he was there, or if he wondered where she was and, although it was silly to even think that not even knowing what his face looked like she fantasized a little.

“You’re zoning out on me. That’s the English word right? Zoning?” Her partner MinSook waved his hand in front of her face.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Yes, that’s how you say it. I’m just thinking.” She grinned at him, reaching for her last piece of sushi.

“A man? It wouldn’t be me would it? I knew you liked me.” He winked at her before finishing off his water bottle.

“Oh my lord, MinSook.” She shook her head. “You’re the class flirt, I wouldn’t dare.” She gathered up her papers, happy with what they had and prepared to leave the small restaurant.

“True, but I have my preferences.” They both stood and he held open the door for her as they walked out into the cold evening air.

“I can only guess.” Rolling her eyes, she shook visibly. “Ok, we can fine tune some things tomorrow morning, but we are set for the presentation. Call me if anything, ok?”

“Yea, sure.” MinSook bit his lip, he was barely taller than you at 5’9” but he was adorable. “Listen, do you want to maybe, go somewhere tomorrow after class? How about dinner?”

Was he serious? She watched as he shuffled his feet a little and avoided her gaze. He was serious, her first date in Korea and he was a classmate. Not that guy from the gym. She smiled, what could it hurt? Free food. He was a flirt, but that didn’t mean he went out with other girls.

“Ok, dinner, I can do that. Text me the details?” He stood up tall, his confidence rising as he put on a serious face.

“Yea, sure! I’ll text you. I’m looking forward to it.” Saying their goodbyes the two parted, but all she could really think of was going to the gym tonight.

The temperature had dropped to a very chilly 40 degrees and, she blew into her closed fist as she walked closer to the gym only to see a man in a coat waiting outside. She didn’t recognize him from so far away, but as she approached and got closer it was the mysterious stranger from the gym. She met his eyes, which narrowed when he saw her, angry-looking.

“You were gone for 3 days. Care to explain?” His deep voice took her back as she realized he was talking to her.

“Excuse me?” He rolled his eyes at her, throwing up his hands.

“You weren’t here for 3 days. I came every time. I thought I’d see you. You like to play games, girl?” He moved closer to her, moving away from the door of the gym.

She felt her guard go up, hands gripping her keys she would stab him with them if necessary. “I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t know you from Adam so back off.”

“Who is Adam?” He seemed thoroughly confused, waving his hand in irritation. “Forget that, I wanted to see you. What’s your name?” His tone changed to a light and friendly manner.

She was confused first he was ready to kill her and then he was her best friend? “I’m so confused and you’re invading my personal space.” She put up a hand that he purposefully walked into, his chest although covered by a jacket touched.

“I asked your name. Nothing hard. Your Korean is good though, and with me there is no personal space noona.” She shook her head, the creeping smile on her face from his antics making her smile in spite of how she was feeling.

“How do you know I’m older than you?” He shrugged, taking her hand leading her away from the gym.

“I don’t, you just seemed like it so I was being polite. Come with me.” She snatched her hand away, although the zing she felt when he touched her felt nice.

“Ok, I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine. Let’s stop. Youre weird! You act aggressive and come onto me hard and then you want me to follow you? I may have been born at night, but not last night. Let’s slow down ok? This is going too fast.” Jackson turned around sighing heavily, she could see the breath come from his mask.

“I will tell you my name and more, if you come with me. I’ve been waiting outside for you for 2 hours ok? Trust me, it’s worth it. I’m sorry I seemed…aggressive. I’m excited. I haven’t seen you in 3 days and here you come like a little deer I’ve been tracking.” He held up his hands. “Tell me your name.”

“It’s >>>, and I’m 20, I’m a student. Tell me where we are going and I’ll let you know if I want to follow.”  He listened to her and nodded his head.

“Well, I’m older than you, so it’s Oppa from now on. I’m an entertainer. We are going to a bar I know around here. Is that ok?” She bit her lip, looking around.

“I’m not dressed for a bar. What’s your name? Matter of fact, take off your mask it’s making me nervous.” Jackson rolled his eyes.

“Woman. Please. Oh my god. It’s more like a lounge, they know me it will be fine.” He took her hand again ignoring the mask comment, only for her to snatch it away again.

“Mask and a name. Or I’m going to the gym and I won’t talk to you ever again.” Jackson turned around slowly pulling the beanie off and pulling the mask from his face. He faced her and watched her eyes light up in recognition. He smiled his trademark smile, and winked at her.

“Jackson. Jackson Wang.”

Chapter Two


In the process of making a M. Gustave costume for my BF for halloween since he is always approached by people telling him that he looks like Ralph Fiennes. Which is fine by me ;)

 I’m working on a Lobby Girl outfit as well (I’ll upload those later on). But I’m really liking how this is turning out since I am in NO way great at sewing or anything. So it’s hand stitched with love!

List of Pleasant Events

This list is meant to give you some ideas for the variety of enjoyable activities you could choose to be your daily positive experience when you are practicing the Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions component of the ABC Emotion Regulation Skill. Obviously not all the pleasant events listed here will be considered positive or pleasant by everyone–you may be particularly adverse to some of the things on this list.  These are just suggestions to use as a base to give you enough inspiration to form your own, personalized List of Pleasant Events that you can use in your daily life to Accumulate Positive Experiences/Emotions.

The List has 300 entries on it, so I’ve put it under a cut, but hopefully these 300 ideas will give you at least a few suggestions of things you might enjoy doing today or sometime in the near future.


Keep reading

V. The Hierophant Tarot Card Illustration

By Eric Tecce ( via )

Prints & more now available @


The Hierophant is the masculine counterpart to the High Priestess. He is at times known also as the High Priest, Chiron, the Pope and the Shaman. As the High Priestess deals with the feminine connection of spirituality through intuition within, the High Priest serves as the external masculine manifestation in the form of a religious leader. He becomes the very embodiment of political and spiritual power that can only be found in groups. This brings the card to deal with the idea of conformity and following which such group dynamics create. As with The Pope, he is a mere man who stands in for the position he represents - for when he crosses over, another will take his place to serve the higher forces of above. This preserves the power he holds and can last as long as the institution holds up.

The Hierophant tarot card depicts a man at center standing at his throne. He offers a sign of benediction in the raised right hand, the same hand the Magician has raised. Unlike the Magician’s drawing of power from the universe, the Hierophant’s energy is drawn from society through his position. The benediction also serves as a blessing for the ritual at present as well as a symbol Roman society used to represent that his voice has the floor. Hanging from this hand are two crossed keys, representing a balance between the conscious and subconscious minds and it’s potential to unlock the mysteries behind them.

The left hand holds a sacred staff made of the wood of the earthly land. It’s trinity top symbolizes the three worlds which the Hierophant has dominion in. This symbolism is also present in the three eyes of the headdress, the three layers of clothing, the three visible figures, as well as minor elements embedded throughout the card’s illustration.

As with the headdress depicted as a bull, his throne also features a bull of stone, Both symbolizing the card’s connection to it’s ruling Taurus energies. As Taurus rules over the five senses and the physical realm of experiences, it’s earthly connection is woven into this card’s very nature. The Taurian energy is even more present when you relate the Hierophant’s purpose to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Striving to create harmony and peace in the midst of crisis, his message is to remind the masses of their values & structure which brings meaning and order to their journey through the sometimes chaotic path of life.

Behind the throne stand the remains of two pillars. As with the High Priestess, the pillars represent a gateway into the unknown. For the Hierophant stands and faces the known, behind him lays the infinite possibilities of all which is left to be known. This allows for him to make order and harmony of what is in front of him. The left column is carved with the symbol of Chiron, relative to the card’s connection to Chiron, king of the Centaurs, healer, priest and wise teacher. The right pillar hold the symbol for Jupiter’s and is connected to the it’s religious nature & the source of guidance towards the masses.

The two followers are kneeling in the front ready to be initiated to receive their duties under the institution the Hierophant represents. Robed in polar opposite garments. each monk is a representation of the spectrum of which the message reaches and are symbolic of both religion and mysticism. Their initiation acts as the entry into all types of institutions where there is a common group identity. These range from schools, clubs, teams, to companies, societies, and of course religion. With both in front and the Hierophant standing high in the center, a triangle is formed subconsciously to further support the idea of a trinity the card’s connection holds.

Before them is a ritual taking place in honor of the Earthly Mother. Unlike other Hierophant cards, this depiction takes place in a world where the religious dogmas present, have crumbled back to which all things arise from. In place, the idea that we are care takers of the Earth and share a connection to the spiritual world takes form. On the ground is a stone pentagram, representing the five (5) senses, elements, and numerology the Taurian Hierophant carries. In the center is a large quartz crystal, who’s creation from the earth can connect and hold aetheric intentions & knowledge. It then resonates this message back into the world around, allowing for an amplification to occur.

Went to see The Grand Budapest Hotel the other day and have been listening to the soundtrack ever since! It was inevitable really that I would make a pattern for it…