Why do you use They/Them Pronouns When there's 2 genders and you aren't Transgender. Non-Binary isn't a thing. Gender is NOT a social construct! Any smart person would know that. And you aren't one of them.
Nonbinary friends: you don’t have to pick a gender, or a gender role.
You don’t have to pick the same gender role in every aspect of your life.
You don’t have to avoid gendered language altogether for fear of being pegged as one binary gender or the other.
It’s ok if you want to be a wife and a dad, or a mom and a datefriend, or a boyfriend and a princess. It’s ok if certain gender roles feel more comfortable than others, it’s ok if some gender roles associate with your assigned gender feel more ok than others, or to only identify with certain genders in specific social contexts, and different genders in others.
A lot of the ways in which we construct gender are around social gender
roles, and it doesn’t invalidate you as a nonbinary person to feel comfortable in multiple
You can mix and match. Gender is a mess for everyone and you’re allowed to call yourself whatever feels most genuine and comfortable to you.
Gender is by definition a social construct so why wouldn’t I be genderfluid? All it means is that I don’t have to do what society thinks I should which is liberating and freeing. I think everyone should embrace gender as a fluid thing and stop unnecessary labeling of masculinity and femininity on things that should be for everyone.
I keep hearing about this so I decided to make a post myself.
The difference between sex and gender is that sex is a biological state while gender is a social construction.
Gender basically describes the way you express yourself. Example, for the male gender the characteristics such as clothing, the one someone walks or talks etc. are usually masculine and for the female gender the characteristics are mostly feminine. But of course gender is not something static; It changes depending on the time and even area you are in.
But there are people who might be both masculine and feminine, the people who are neither and they are neutral or the people who change from masculine to feminine; For those people, it’s impossible to be settled in those two genders because it doesn’t define them, thus new genders = words to describe themselves are created.
Gender is defined by one’s mentality and not by their biological state and when you deny their identities and force upon them the gender roles they were assigned with from birth, you deny to acknowledge who they are.
Gender is a construct. Back with the constructs. Sex is biological. Gender doesn’t mean anything. What is gender, like honestly? Call yourself a freaking banana - I don’t care. Just be comfortable with who you are.
As someone who teaches 3-5 year old children, I can promise you gender is 100% socially constructed.
I have a four year old boy in my class who wears dresses and some of the children assume this makes him a girl. I am constantly telling these developing minds that no, wearing a dress doesn’t make someone a girl. He is a boy who likes dresses and that’s okay. And guess what? They get it.
When I say the same thing to some of my “progressive” friends, guess what? They don’t.
Notre société est tellement obsédée par la binarité du genre que ça devient ridicule.
Ma mère est assistante maternelle et elle garde en ce moment un petit garçon de quatre mois (qui a deux grandes sœurs). Il n’a pas beaucoup de cheveux et à cet âge, garçon ou fille, ça ne se voit quasiment pas si on ne “code” pas les vêtements. Et c’est justement ce problème de “code” qui m’a fait rouler les yeux tellement loin dans mes orbites que j’ai cru qu’ils allaient tomber.
Pour faire simple ma mère a dû utiliser les rechanges fournit par la mère du petit et c’était un haut “féminin” qu’elle a dû lui mettre (blanc avec le bas qui faisait un genre de vague avec imprimé sur la vague, des fraises et des cerises). Quand ma mère a vu ça, j’ai eu le droit à une litanie de “C’est n’importe quoi” , “C’est un vêtement de fille” et “Regarde ce qu’elle fait porter à son petit garçon”. Devant mon peu de réaction, elle m’a sortit “Et ça te choque pas toi ? Car moi oui, je ne ferais jamais ça”.
Non maman ça ne me choque pas mais ça m’agace que tu fasses toute une montagne d’un simple haut alors qu’on parle d’un bébé de quatre mois dont la préoccupation la plus importante c’est de boire son biberon.
This lady came into work the other day and said she WOULD NOT be buying her grandson a Pikachu backpack because Pikachu was “for girls” and “way too feminine”. It really took every ounce of of self restraint to not shout “PIKACHU IS A FUCKING FICTIONAL YELLOW MOUSE WHO SHOOTS LIGHTING OUT OF HIS ASSHOLE THIS CREATURE NEVER ASKED TO BE ASSIGNED A GENDER”
I remember you mentioning in one of your posts that if we were to start over again as a society, that we would have completely different gender roles because gender is a social construct. I'm trying to come up with some creative ideas for a society with completely different gender roles without using the "females took over the world" trope; I've come up with quite a few ideas but I'd love your input.
(anon is referencing this post on the social construction of gender)
i feel u, because while i love hypothetical matriarchal societies as much as the next person, i feel like a lot of time they’re based on the same concept of “visible genitalia as gender” which is not really all that out of the box. i think it’s important to note that for actual, real life examples of variants on gender, we need look no further than wikipedia (tw for cissexist language at the link)(you may also find this nb wiki page helpful). a lot of cultures historically haven’t followed the strict sex/gender binary that western culture uses. however, in case you are looking for other ideas for gender systems, i present to you:
“gender” based on height. no one is assigned a gender until their late teens, when they have finished growing. short people are hunters, because they can most easily dart underneath the stomachs of large fauna to stab at their hearts. tall people become gatherers cuz they can easily pick stuff off of tall trees. medium height people are given the option to choose one camp over the other, or stay at their village encampments to raise the children. sometimes short people defect to the tall or medium height groups, because they lack the athletic ability needed to spear mammoths, and that’s A-Okay.
“gender” based on occupation. there are no strict biological markers for gender. differences in genitalia and/or reproduction are treated much like differences in hair color. instead, gender roles are largely based on your occupation–which you choose yourself, based on your skills and interests. hunters are expected to be athletic, obviously, to better catch stuff, but also value stuff like the ability to set good rabbit traps and be quiet for long periods of time. occupations also heavily influence dress, obviously. in the future, all doctors will ask for your occupation early on medical forms, as everyone knows that occupation correlates highly with risk for certain diseases/conditions. as society becomes more specialized and new jobs functions are created, the number of genders increases a thousandfold. at some point along the line, people start talking about how inefficient this whole gender thing is. “that’s ridiculous!” says michael from your bio 101 class. “your gender is based on biology! people can’t just choose to be good mechanical engineers, pamela! they’re born that way.”
“gender” based on vocal range. you are either a soprano, an alto, a tenor, or a bass. in such a society, music would be ubiquitous and quasi-religious in nature. the traditional family structure would include four parents, one of each vocal range. “you can’t just marry three other tenors!” your grand-soprano says, shocked and horrified. “how will you participate in family choir time? what if you have a soprano? who will teach sopranoself how to sing? think of your children, darryl!” entire tumblr accounts are created to support the liberation of tone deaf people, and everyone calls them social justice warriors.
no gender. no one gives a crap what your genitalia looks like. no one tells you that you should stay home and raise the children because of x, or that you must like monster trucks because of y. everyone wears dresses sometimes, because let’s be honest, it’s a lot easier than matching a top with a pair of pants when you’re already running 10 minutes late to your 8:00am lecture.
because in each of these situations, there is less focus on biological reproductive mechanisms, it is totally normal for people with similar genitalia to get hitched. as such, there are considerably fewer barriers to adoption. surrogacy is a well respected occupation. monogamy is not necessarily the norm. the nuclear family as we know it doesn’t exist.
so yeah, speculative fiction writers out there, please give me some cool fictional societies. especially you, sci fi, i am fucking tired of all these alien cultures adhering to the western gender system.
anyways, i hope this post has impressed upon you the ultimate arbitrariness of the male/female gender dichotomy. it was not handed down to humankind on a stone tablet engraved by charles darwin. so you might as well fucking respect people’s gender identities, whatever they may be. (this is a general you, not directed at anon, btw)