the snurfs

whydamnitwhy  asked:

Curious, I have been an avid reader of your Home series since chapter 3. When Raising Home came out I jumped on that— but I was never able to finish it before things in RL took over. That being said— I know you said you should read RH in between Home chps but do you think there’s a way to read RH first and then go back and re-read Home? Or should I re-read Home now, and in between those chp read RH? What do you recommend?

Aw, thank you for reading! You can totally read RH before or after Home, or after 15 since a lot of stuff in ch16 deals with RH. Either way will work, whatever you feel like doing :)

Thought that occurred to me during cooking a few days ago

Somewhere in the vampire hunter community, there is major Discourse over whether it is total spoiled entitlement to buy your garlic pre-peeled.

“No, I know it shouldn’t be this hard, but I can never get the last layer of paper-skin off the clove! Any tips for that, guys?”

“You’re just whining! I still peel my own garlic and I’m (insert more advanced age here). Young folks these days.”

“My friend got a nasty hand injury last year in a hunting accident and she buys peeled garlic because it takes too long for her to get it ready herself.”

“*I* only buy High Quality Premium Free-Range Organic Garlic because of the Theory of the Thing and pre-peeled is so *processed*.”

“Guy at my school used to bully the underclassman by making them peel his garlic cloves for him. Seemed kind of lazy as well as rude.”

“I peel the garlic for my girlfriend. It’s a gesture of love. I’m not a hunter, but I figure if I can help her in any way…”

“I JUST MASH MY GARLIC SKIN AND ALL AND PUT IT IN SOLUTION IN A WATER PISTOL. THERE. PROBLEM SOLVED.”

[After that last commenter the thread went silent in abject confusion.]

the way link was watching rhett snurf around his chest like how much you wanna bet he was hoping rhett would lick his nips and bite his tummy cuz that’s sure what it looked like…

Snuy (snake buy) it, Snuse it (snake use) it, Sneak (snake break) it, Snix (snail fix) it, Snash (snake trash) it, Snange (snake change) it, Snail (snake mail) - Snupgrade (snake upgrade) it, Snarge (snake charge) it, Snoint (snake point) it, Snoom (snake zoom) it, Sness (snake press) it, Snsnap (snake snap) it, Snork (snake work) it, Snuick (snake quick)- Snerase (snake erase) it, Snrite (snake write) it, Snut (snake cut) it, Snaste (snake paste) it, Snave (snake save) it, Snoad (snake load) it, Sneck (snake check) it, Snuick (snake quick) - Snewrite (snake rewrite) it, Snug (snake plug) it, Snay (snake play) it, Snurn (snake burn) it, Snip (snake rip) it, Snag (snake drag) and Snop (snake drop) it, Snip (snake zip) - Snunzip (snake unzip) it, Snock (snake lock) it, Snill (snake fill) it, Snall (snake call) it, Snind (snake find) it, Sniew (snake view) it, Snode (snake code) it, Snam (snake jam) - Snunlock (snake unlock) it, Snurf (snake surf) it, Snroll (snake scroll) it, Snause (snake pause) it, Snick (snake click) it, Snoss (snake cross) it, Snack (snake crack) it, Snich (snake switch) - Snupdate (snake update) it, Sname (snake name) it, Snate (snake rate) it, Snune (snake tune) it, Snint (snake print) it, Snan (snake scan) it, Snend (snake send) it, Snax (snake fax) - Snename (snake rename) it, Snouch (snake touch) it, Sning (snake bring) it, Snay (snake pay) it, Snatch (snake watch) it, Snurn (snake turn) it, Sneave (snake leave) it, Snart (snake start) - Snormat (snake format) it.

anonymous asked:

Henry and Mabel dress as the traditional Watson and Holmes for Halloween!

Four Halloweens Mabel and Henry (andothers!) Celebrated

1. 22

Henry hadn’t done anything for Halloween since he was ten and his father declared that he was far too old for “that trick or treating shit, time to grow up boy-“

Yes. Well.

Point being it had been over a decade since he had dressed up in a costume of any kind and yet here he was, playing the Watson to Mabel’s Holmes.

He winced slightly as Mabel over-enthusiastically slapped a fake bushy mustache on his face.

“You know Mabes,” he said from his seat on the edge of the tub (the best way for Mabel to easily reach his hair and face for makeup). “If I had had a little more warning I probably could have grown a mustache out.”

“Yeah, but this way is more fun!” Mabel gleefully exclaimed, getting ready to paste some mutton chops on his face as well.

“Um, are we going to do something with my hair too?”

“What do you mean Hen?”

“Well, the fake hair you’re putting on is brown and I’m a redhead.”

Mabel smiled, and produced seemingly out of nowhere a pork pie hat. 

“I was just going to stuff it all under here!”

“Oh.”

She whipped out a massive pillow. “I’m also going to need to stuff this under your shirt too.”

“Won’t it fall out?”

Mabel wordlessly held up a rainbow sequined belt.

“Oh.”

(It was a ton of fuss, and Mabel had accidentally used Crazy Glue and they needed to summon Dipper to get it off his face.

But they won first place at the costume contest and Mabel’s bubble pipe was a hit and he had never seen his girlfriend so in her element.

Henry looked at the massive smile on her face and decided for her he would dress up anytime and anywhere.)

2. 28

For the kids’ first Halloween, Henry was convinced that Mabel was going to dress them up as three peas in a pod, because that surely was the perfect triplet costume, right?

“We’re going to be Power Rangers!” Mabel exclaimed one night at the dinner table.

“We?” Stan asked spooning some mushed carrots into Willow’s mouth.

“Wait, we?” Dipper seconded, attempting to clean up Acacia a bit and failing miserably.

Henry raised an eyebrow as he was busy making airplane noises to try and get Hank to open his mouth.

“Don’t worry Grunkle Stan, I know you got your own thing going on here. But the six of us are going out. GO GO POWER RANGERS!”

Hank laughed at the funny noises his mother was making, and Henry took the opportunity to smoosh peas into his son’s mouth.

Dipper’s brow furrowed. “Mabes, Halloween is kind of a busy night for me-what can you offer me to keep me on this plane and with you guys?”

“Halloween candy-bags before hand and a fourth of whatever we get.”

“A third.”

“I get to goody pick before you go through out loot DippinDots.”

“D̡̠̜̟̜̥̠͞͠Ę̠͖̰̦̦̮̻Ạ̠̣̬̱̜-um, sounds good. We can figure it out more the night of.”

Hank spat the mouthful of peas Henry had gotten him to eat back onto Henry. Luckily, he was wearing his Dinner Shirt (an old, ratty Mystery Shack souvenir shirt) so he wasn’t even phased, just put more peas on the spoon and tried again.

Henry’s wife went on. “And we can each have one of the babies on us since there’s three of them and three of us-“

Mabel rubbed her hands together and actually cackled.

“This is the bestest idea I’ve ever had.”

(Henry had to admit, even though he had never seen the show, the end result of the costumes Mabel had made for all of them was pretty damn cute.

Though both he and Dipper drew the line at thirty second little routine Mabel wanted them to do every time they went to a door.)

3. 44

Henry stared at Mabel.

“What?”

“You can dress up as the Woodsman this year and I will be Mizar!”

“But…I….”

“Henry, it will be HILARIOUS, trust me.”

“Um, Mabel?”

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to do the whole-” Mabel wiggled her hands in front of her eyes and hair. “-just the antlers and axe; we can make a deal with Dipdop.”

“Er, uh….”

“Also when I say ‘Mizar and Woodsman’ I mean the version from “The Forest’s Son and the Demon’s Lover.” You know, the new one from the author of “Twin Souls”?”

Henry started to choke on his coffee.

(Everyone at the party in Bend who wasn’t in the know thought Henry did an AMAZING job on his antlers, so he supposed it wasn’t ALL mortifying.)

4. 53

“I can’t believe I’m sick.”

Henry nodded sympathetically, and handed Mabel the box of tissues as he saw her face screw up into another sneeze.

In his wheelchair next to the couch Stan barked out a laugh.

“Getting old sucks doesn’t it sweetie?”

Mabel’s lip wobbled and Henry realized with a start that she was about to cry.

“It’s….it’s going to be the first Halloween I’ve ever missed and-“

A tear dropped from her face.

“-and Acacia and Reina are bringing Nito and JoJo and Serge tomorrow and I have our costumes ready and-“

Mabel started to cry, but then immediately launched into a sneezing and coughing fit, going through the entire box of tissues she had at hand.

By the time Henry had returned with another box, Mabel had settled down, but was still visibly upset.

Henry sat next to his wife….as best as he could anyway considering she was in a massive blanket ball on the couch. He reached out and began to stroke her hair, brown shot with grey and down from its usual headband.

“We can stay in, watch really awful horror movies-?” Henry began tentatively, unsure if she would want to or not.

Mabel tried to lean gently into Henry’s chest but over balanced and ended toppling blankets and all into his lap. She stayed there, and smooshed her face into Henry’s leg.

“I guess,” she said dejectedly.

“Mabel honey…”

“I’m sorry Henry! It’s just….I’ve gone trick or treating my entire life, rain or shine, costume tear or slime demon, hot or cold, and I’m just….what if it’s a sign?”

“Of what?”

“That I need to grow up.”

Henry wasn’t one for snorting but this time he did.

He grabbed his wife’s hand. “What’s this about growing up? I mean, you run your own business! And you’ve raised three kids, and you pay your bills and-“

“’You?’ You’re in here too Henry! It’s not just me!”

“I know but that’s not the point. The point is, you’re a wonderful mother and businesswoman and artist and a million other things. If you want to keep on trick or treating, you’re going to keep on trick or treating. You’ll be back out in force next year, better than ever.”

Mabel smiled and snurffed up a massive amount of snot.

“What are we going to do about this year though?” she asked, still squeezing his hand.

“Um, maybe we could…go out the day after?” Henry asked, even though it sounded crazy to his ears.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

“Ow, ow, ow, Mabel, sweetie, my ears,” Stan grumped.

(Mabel kept on trick or treating. She only stopped after Henry died.)

Coda: 22

“You don’t mind do you?”

Dipper, who had been summoned by Mabel (who in turn promptly left the two of them alone for “BONDING TIMES” while she went into town with Wendy), sat back into the porch rocker.

“No, not really.”

Henry boggled. “Really?”

“Really really.”

“Really really really?”

Henry.”

“Just kidding Dipper,” Henry said with a smile.

They sat in silence for a second, drinking Pitt and watching Gompers go at the tire on Stan’s car.

“You’re…you’re her boyfriend. And you’re important to Mabel,” Dipper finally said. “I’m not going to get in the way of you two doing things. It’s okay, I promise.”

Henry smiled, and clinked his soda can against Dipper’s.

“You’re a good man, and a good brother. Thank you Dipper.”

Dipper blushed.

Silence, and then Dipper spoke again. “Besides, we agreed we’d still do twin costumes on Summerween.”

“Summerween?”

“Oh Henry, just you wait and see.”