the sneakoscope

harry potter rated by appearances of socks
  • philosphers stone: for harry's 10th birthday he got Dursley's old socks, excellent present. He also found a spider on his socks, cute! And of course Dumbledore's infamous: "I see myself holding a pair of thick, woollen socks", in the Mirror of Erised. A noble desire indeed! and "One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. I live by those words, give socks to everyone you know. 8/10
  • chamber of secrets: Well, we all know what's coming. First of all, the obscure. Professor Sprout put socks on mandrakes to help them save all the petrified people, socks saving lives again. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY: "And he forced the smelly sock into Lucius Malfoy’s hand." SAVAGEEE: then "Master has given Dobby a sock. Dobby is free. YASSSS PRIME USE OF SOCKs 11/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: Ron got a pair of maroon socks for xmas even though he doesn't like maroon! Poor form. Harry kept his sneakoscope in his aforementioned birthday socks. MEh nothing exciting in the sock world. 0/10
  • goblet of fire: Harry's socks got wet, horrible -5 points. But, then the tables turned for socks. Harry gave Dobby mustard yellow socks, and Ron gave him violet socks. Little did they know in 2016, that would be a fashionable colour scheme. Of course Dobby is wrapped! "Socks are Dobby's favourite, favorite clothes, sir!" Thus, he in return gave Harry hand knitted snitch and broomstick pattern socks. Moody himself complimented Harry on his chic socks. Harry proclaimed: he was going to buy Dobby a pair of socks for every day of the year, and he then gave him screaming and flashing socks. Dobby said he had 7 socks- symbolism?? EXCELLENT YEAR FOR SOCKS 10/10
  • order of the phoenix: Mundungus smells like burnt socks -4 points. Hermione knitted a bunch of socks for the house elves but only Dobby wore them.... Ron used socks to hold his prefect badge. not a great year. 2/10
  • half-blood prince: wtf is with harry and using socks as a storage device. Felix Felicis stored in socks. Nothing else so -1/10
  • deathly hallows: Hermione brought Ron's maroon socks that he hated from CoS. Socks are again used a storage... with Hermione's beaded bag placed in her sock. Now, when Dobby died, Ron took off his socks from his feet to place onto Dobby, out of respect for his passion of socks. I'm not crying, you are. sentimental socks... It made me sad but it's a beautiful tribute 9.3/10

Imagine all the magical tools in Hogwarts being used to help the students with PTSD after the war!

Teachers instructing students on how to use the Pensieve to views their memories from an outside perspective to cope with them.

Dark magic detectors like Foe-Glasses and Sneakoscopes to help alleviate paranoia that their enemies are coming back.

PTSD recovery groups searching out Boggarts for students who are ready to face their triggers head on

There are so many possibilities!

—  Submitted by Anonymous
The Signs as Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Products
  • Aries: Weasley's Wildfire Whiz-Bangs; a large collection of magical fireworks
  • Taurus: Extendable Ears; used to eavesdrop on private conversations through a magically enhanced ear 
  • Gemini: Boxing Telescope; when squeezed, gives the user a black eye which is almost impossible to remove (comes with Bruise Removal Paste)
  • Cancer: Patented Daydream Charms; creates highly realistic, virtually undetectable daydreams
  • Leo: Skiving Snack Box; a box filled with sweets designed to make the user ill so they can get out of class
  • Virgo: Headless Hats; used to scare unsuspecting victims by making the wearer's head (and hat) disappear
  • Libra: Sneakoscope; light up, whistle and scream when someone nearby is doing something untrustworthy 
  • Scorpio: Weather In A Bottle; unleashes a multitude of furious storms when the bottle is uncapped
  • Sagittarius: Trick wands; turn into a variety of unnerving things when waved
  • Capricorn: Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder: creates an unpenatrable cloud of darkness when thrown into the air
  • Aquarius: Pygmy Puffs; specially bred miniature puffskeins (make wonderful pets)
  • Pisces: Portable Swamp; creates a terribly large and smelly swamp around the user when detonated

Kneeling down beside the trunk again, he groped around in the bottom and, after retrieving an old badge that flickered feebly between SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY and POTTER STINKS, a cracked and worn-out Sneakoscope, and a gold locket inside which a note signed R.A.B. had been hidden, he finally discovered the sharp edge that had done the damage. 

Lol Harry you seriously kept a badge all these years? Why, may I ask? Because I know someone who would die if they found out (*cough* Draco Malfoy *cough*). Harry, my buddy, my pal… your gay is showing.