Aries: how have you been? Yes you with the angry eyes and the broken heart. Didn’t anyone tell you that smiling with your lips is the worst smile? Smiling with your eyes is the best love. I find it prodigious really, how you pick yourself up after being impaired.
Taurus: and even when everything stings, even when everything burns, even when you’re on the verge of giving up. You looked fear in the eye and said “Go to hell” because sorrow is a sign of the times, and your willpower is stronger than your emotions. You control you.
Gemini: when the dandelions fall out of your hair, and the skies turn orange. When the little paper cut burns a little more than you’d like it to or when the grass you sit on has a little too much dewdrops. When everything is a little too much, or just not enough, know one thing is certain. Someone is thinking of you, somewhere.
Cancer: sometimes I want to sue the world, how can it be so harsh on something so sweet? How can something so sweet do something so bitter? In a gutter your light would still shine. In the dark you can’t see, “Am I darkness or has darkness become me?” Be free, you are light and you are dazzling me.
Leo: compliments feel like sticky pastes ‘cause you don’t believe in the smiles on their face, it’s a maze. Run, run, don’t come back, see the stars and kiss your scars. Kiss your own skin, love your own face. You are independent, you are relentless. Puppet on a strings, threaded to promises.
Virgo: a shattered self esteem, an introvert with devoured dreams. Eaten by the greedy, the successful and the liars. Fake friends meeting sadness at one end, hate at the other. But “otherwise I’ll be alone and no one wants to be lonely and I’m lonely when I’m alone” the critical mind, the self paining cries. “Alright, it’s alright.” Repeat it until you believe it.
Libra: when love and chaos meet, you will see me at the early morning sunrise. Plucking petals off of periwinkle blue, eerie flowers. You said you were a night owl, one to always sleep in. The last few days you’ve been up at five thirty, meeting the sunset with tired eyes. You told me that fatigue is the price of caring for someone too deeply, you said it meant love.
Scorpio: the claws of the nightmares enrol in your daydreams, the screams and whispers shiver you to the bone. You’re not afraid, you’re not scared, just a little bit alone. But you’re dying to stay positive, come on love you can do it. You keep telling yourself lies, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” You’re in the headlights, on the front row of your own movie. Stop feeling like you have to pay for the tickets.
Sagittarius: let’s run away tonight, let’s get drunk under summer stars and hope we’ll get home without broken hearts. Let’s run, let’s go, I don’t want to know. There’s too many pain in this black and white town, let’s leave and build our own out of cracked bones and broken homes.
Capricorn: when the shadows catch up with you, and the fatigue seeps through your lifeless skin; when the dandelions feel like uselessness and the smell of rain reminds you of broken glass… know that you don’t need to be fixed. You are not broken. Reading glasses slipping off noses, tossing and turning to get a slight chance of sleep.. know that everything you tell yourself you are, is how you limit yourself. You tell yourself it’s all you’ll ever be.
Aquarius: jars filled with little papers. They’re inked with words that are left unknown, one word for every day together with a number. Today the word was “HOPE” together with a six-point-seven on the happiness ratio. Yesterday it was “MELANCHOLY” with a five on the scale of misery. Never daring to get close to nines and tens, those were for people with real problems- funerals, breakups, getting fired. Maybe five, maybe an in between. A non-answer. Maybe five.
Pisces: someone told me about their imaginary friend named Ann, she was sweet and nice but cold like ice. Her hair was raven black and she always wore sundresses even in the winter. They played tennis with her and wore each others clothes, one day Ann had the leave the young person. They cried and weeped “Why?” they screeched. Ann frowned and held the persons face in her hands. “Other people need me too, you’re not alone. Just have the courage to pretend.”
if your day has felt longer than the time it took to read this poem, know that you’re loved. (1st august - 2017)
I miss you more on rainy days. Drops echoing inside my empty soul. I never realize exactly how lonely I am until the rain begins to fall. Cloudy, dark skies reminding me exactly how my life is without you. I wish you were here- to fall asleep to the sound of pouring rain together.