the skeleton is still killing me

What she says: Logan was good!

What she means: The old man and the sea is the story of a fight between an elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like… HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering eighty-four days without catching a fish because he’s the unluckiest son of a bitch on planet earth. Manolin was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him. But as the Fresh Prince used to say ‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’ so the boy visits Santiago’s shack anyway, ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself. Manolin helps out, moving Santiago’s fishing gear, making food and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DeMagio: who used to bump fuzzies with Marilyn Monroe. The next day Santiago tells Manolin that he’s going way out into the Gulf Stream. WAY OUT north of Cuba. Lady luck is returning! On the eighty-fifth day of his crappy luck, Santiago drops his line, and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big ass fish. He’s sure it’s a winner. He fights and fights and fights, but can’t pull the monster in. Santiago’s leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he’s bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him “brother”, or maybe even “bro”. It’s sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding. But on the third day, Santiago is freakin’ EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it. With a fucking harpoon. It’s a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words- instead giving in to base desires- and imposing his gigantically terrible positions on any given subject through unblinking violence, Typical. Anyways, he straps the Marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like a total showoff to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding marlins carcass, because as we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you’ve finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to fucking shreds while dry humping your dignity with their crazy weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin. Only a bleach white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he’s still unlucky. REALLY unlucky (duh!) He calls the sharks “dream killers”. Which isn’t really all that fair, I mean, the sharks were just doing their job and the marlin… Jesus, don’t even get me started on the marlin! It was just hanging out one day, minding its own business, maybe thinking about ways it could be a better provider for its family and WHAM! Harpoon in the brain, who’s the “dream killer” now, fuck face? The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless and this point. Eventually Santiago makes it ashore, leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said, he’s super tired. The next morning, a group of fisherman gather around Santiago’s boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit-shingles! It’s over 18 feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (strange that this is the first mention of him) and the other fisherman ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the man. Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again. Many years later there’s a Red Lobster Restaurant in nearly every city in America, offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.

2

The Forest Fic Sensory Color Guide. 

After first reading Stay In Place (Sing A Chorus), I’ve been connecting what all the emotions described as colors mean the best as possible. Of course this is just what I figure; it’s definitely not official but I still thought I could try… ;) Fic by @solo-chaos

In case you were wondering what the end scroll said at the end of the "Deadpool 2" trailer, here it is

The old man and the sea is the story of a fight between and elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like… HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering eighty four days without catching a fish because he’s the unluckiest son of a bitch on planet earth. Honesty, if you were in a boat for eighty four days, it’d be hard NOT to catch a fish… even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his apprentice, Manolin, was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him. But as the Fresh Prince used to say, “Parents just don’t understand”. So the boy visits Santiago’s shack anyway, ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself. Manolin helps out, moving Santiago’s fishing gear, making food, and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio, who used to bump fuzzies with Marilyn Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that he’s going way out into the gulf Stream. WAY OUT north of Cuba. Lady Luck is returning. On the eighty-fifth day of his crappy lunch, Santiago drops his lines and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big-ass fish. He’s sure he’s a winner. He fights and fights and fights and fights but can’t pull the monster in.Santiago’s leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he’s bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him “Brother” or maybe even “Bro”. It’s sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding. But on the third day, Santiago is freakin’ EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it. With a fucking harpoon. It’s a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words instead of giving in to base desires and imposing his gigantically terrible position on any given subject through unblinking violence. Typical. Anyway, he straps the marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, read to act like a total show off to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding Marlin’s carcass, because as we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you’ve finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to fucking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their crazy-weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin. Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he’s still unlucky, REALLY unlucky (DUH!) Ma calls the sharks “dream killers”. Which isn’t really all that fair, I mean, the sharks were just doing their job and the marlin… Jesus, don’t even get me started on the marlin. It was just hanging out one day, minding it’s own business, maybe thinking about ways it could be a better provider for it’s family and WHAM! Harpoon in the brain. Who’s the “Dream killer” now, fuckface! The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point. Eventually Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said - He’s super tired. The next morning, a group of fisherman gather around Santiago’s boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit shingles! It’s over 18 feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (Strange that this is the first mention of him) and the other fishermen ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man. Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again. Many years later there’s a Red Lobster restaurant in nearly every city in America offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.

mermaid-of-the-valley  asked:

Thought up another bit for Yandere!Papyrus X Deity!Sans. The tables are turned when Papyrus reincarnates as typical UT attitude Papyrus, but Sans is still insane from the actions of his past life and doesn't ever want to lose his favorite mortal again. When Papyrus tries to leave, the forest (which Sans maintained out of a sense of vengeance against the kingdom) twists in on itself, exhausting the skeleton and always landing him back at their special oak tree.

3

This is my take at Fell!Bubbles. Love it, I get to make her even more Murder-happy. She hardly needs a reason to kill now. :D :D :D

@djcherrycharry I’ll be honest I had NO IDEA what underkeep was but BOI I know it now and he looks awesome. I’ll try to draw Bubbles or possibly her sister in a fem version of it’s cloths one of these days. ;)

Actual things I thought while reading Killing Stalking
  • Me: Mmm, that stalker is bad news, lmao I don't know man he's kind of creepy. Need to watch out for that guy, hahaha.
  • Me: Sangwoo is a precious cinnamon roll awww
  • Me: Holy shit, I was wrong.
  • Me: Fuck I was wrong.
  • Me: Burn that fucker with fire RIGHT NOW.
  • Me: You know people normally just have skeletons in their closet but you sir, you don't half ass it do you? Nope, you just HAD to one up everybody and have a FUCKING NAKED HOSTAGE IN THE BASEMENT.
  • Me: I can't fucking read this anymore
  • Me: *still fucking reads*
  • Me: A FUCKING DOORFRAME ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
  • Me: No! Don't kiss him!
  • Me: Okay, at least they're not doing anything sexual.
  • Me: JESUS WHAT DID I JUST SAY!
  • Me: YES HE'S GONE. GO! BE FREE!
  • Me: Fuck.
  • Me: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK.
  • Me: Yeah he's a stalker you and that's creepy sure but at least he's not a SERIAL KILLER.
  • Me: Well it can't get much worse.
  • Me: IT DID. IT FUCKING DID.
  • Me: DON'T GET TURNED ON BY HIS SCREAMS GODDAMMIT.
  • Me: A fucking card game are you kidding me?
  • Me: Yoonbum you didn't actually kill him okay? Sangwoo was just beING A HUGE DICK.
  • Me: YES! SEUNGBAE WILL SAVE HIM!
  • Me: YES Seungbae!
  • Me: NO SEUNGBAE.
  • Me: Phew, Seungbae.
  • Me: *suspicious crutches look suspicious*
  • Me: Gee a shopping trip sounds like the perfECT TIME TO ESCAPE.
  • Me: *started binge reading at like 2am* Fuck is that the sun?
  • Me: ...........Fuck I'm hooked.
Will Solace Headcanons

mostly because i love my sun

  • Will has most of his freckles on his back and shoulders
  • His favorite album is Vessel from twenty one pilots (big ukulele sucker)
  • He only wears flip flops or hightops there is no in between
  • Refuses to believe he is sick
  • Will *with a fever, runny nose, and about thirty seconds away from throwing up*: What are you talking about, I am the healthiest person at this camp, I can work today just let me vomit in the trash can really quick
  • Also refuses to believe that he is injured
  • for example one time he got this really bad gash on his stomach during a battle and he worked so hard trying to heal other people he didn’t think about healing himself
  • People noticed he was hurt when he started to bleed though his shirt and his hastily applied bandages
  • It took three Ares kids to hold him down and two other Apollo kids to stitch him back up because he kept struggling because people still needed to be healed and ‘I AM THE EPITOME OF GOOD HEALTH GUYS JUST LET ME GO!!!’
  • His lips get really chapped very easily and it doesn’t help that he’s constantly licking them and biting off the skin as he works
  • Sneezes when he lies
  • The first real time Nico caught his eye was during the Battle of Manhattan. When Will was trying to help someone that was injured get to safety, and he ended up tripping and a monster stood over him ready to kill Will but all of the sudden a skeleton warrior kills the monster. Out of the corner of his eye he sees this scrawny kid, that radiated power, and despite the fighting, he didn’t look a bit afraid as he ordered the skeletons around, if anything he looked proud about what he had done. Will owed his life to Nico, and was smitten ever since.
  • Only starts dating Nico awhile after his dad turns into a teenager (Apollo ships it more than anyone, has written 15 haikus about their first date plus three different songs)
  • Doesn’t believe is lost causes
  • he will try to save someone even if they are long gone, because if they do die he wants them to die knowing that he never gave up on them
  • My personal favorite is;
  • Will was always self conscious about how he couldn’t fight as well as his siblings and was only good at healing so Apollo blessed him and gave him the power to absorb peoples pain, and fill them with good memories and hope
  • It works for physical and emotional pain
  • the problem is that Will has to absorb the pain that he takes so he will constantly feel waves of heartbreak and hopelessness, He will feel stab wounds that aren’t there for hours, he goes to bed with his bones on fire, and feels like his blood is boiling due to poison that isn’t running through his blood
  • He hasn’t told anyone about this blessing, not even to his siblings or to Nico
  • He can also absorb anger, because all anger comes from some sort of pain
  • But he takes peoples pain with a smile, because as long as he is doing something to help he will do anything, no matter how much it may hurt

The Old Man and the Sea is the story of a fight between an elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like… HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering eighty-four days without catching a fish because he’s the unluckiest son-of-a-bitch on planet earth. Honestly, if you were in a boat for eighty-four days, it’d be hard to NOT catch a fish… even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his apprentice, Manolin, was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him. But as The Fresh Prince used to say, ‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’. So the boy visits Santiago’s shack anyway.

Ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself, Manolin helps out, moving Santiago’s fishing gear, making food and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio; who used to bump fuzzies with Marilyn Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that he’s going way out into the Gulf Stream. WAY OUT north of Cuba. Lady luck is returning!

On the eighty-fifth day of his crappy luck, Santiago drops his lines, and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big ass fish. He’s sure it’s a winner. He fights and fights and fights but can’t pull the monster in. Santiago’s leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he’s bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him “brother” or maybe even, “bro.” It’s sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding.

But on the third day, Santiago is freakin’ EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it. With a fucking harpoon. It’s a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words - instead giving in to base desires - and imposing his gigantically terrible positions on any given subject through unblinking violence. Typical.

Anyway, he straps the marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like a total show off to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding marlin’s carcass, because we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you’ve finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to fucking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their crazy-weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin.

Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he’s still unlucky. REALLY unlucky. (Duh!) He calls the sharks “dream killers”. Which isn’t really all that fair. I mean, the sharks were just doing their job and the marlin… Jesus, don’t even get me started on the marlin! It was just hanging out one day, minding it’s own business, maybe thinking about ways it could be a better provider for it’s family and WHAM! Harpoon in the brain. Who’s the “dream killer” now, fuckface? The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point.

Eventually Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said - he’s super tired. The next morning a group of fishermen gather around Santiago’s boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit-shingles! It’s over 18 feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (strange that this is the first mention of him) and the other fishermen ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man.

Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again. Many years later, there’s a Red Lobster Restaurant in nearly every city in America, offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.

Pardon Our Ectoplasm

Christmas Truce gift for @anemptymorgue, who asked for something humorous to do with Amity Park’s general citizens and their relationship with ghosts. Hope you like it!

This, Wes berated himself, is why you didn’t do last-minute Christmas shopping in Amity. “But you can’t be sold out!”

The blue-shirted associate - Neil, according to his name tag- shrugged. “Sorry sir; we’re technically not sold out- we’re out of stock.”

“What’s the difference?!”

“One has us selling things like a normal store, and the other one is that cyber ghost popping through the ceiling and making our inventory attack people like it was the machine uprising.” 

Another associate sweeping up broken and scorched plastic added, “Only instead of killer robots it was iPads and overpriced HDMI cables.”

“The cyber ghost?” Kwan piped up behind Wes. “Which one is that?”

“Yeah, y’know…the cyber ghost?” At their blank expression, Neil pressed. “Come on: green skin, lab coat, lame shades? Has that shrieky voice that sounds like that one dude?”

Wes glanced back at Kwan, Dash, and Dale, who all shrugged. 

“Wait, Terry would totally know this. He’s a big Ecto-Fanboy.” He called across the store, loud and echoing with nothing but empty shelves between them. “Hey Tere! What was the name of that ghost yesterday! The techie one?”

“You mean Technus?” someone across the store hollered back. “How do you forget that? He talks in the third person! He was constantly telling people his name. The first thing he said was ‘It is I, Technus, Master of Machines and all that goes beep-boop!’ He did it in that weird Gilbert Gottfried kinda voice.”

Neil snapped his fingers. “Gilbert Gottfried, that was it!” 

Keep reading

hoot-eggs  asked:

UT and UF Sans with their crush who had a really bad night and will just climb into the skele's bed and hug them real tight and start crying into their shoulder? Thanks so much, also congrats and I love your blog so much!!♡

Thank you (⸝⸝⸝◕ั ௰ ◕ั⸝⸝⸝ )!!!! You’re so sweet! I’m sorry for taking so long to respond! 

Also, is crush the same thing as an S/O? I’m going to keep it ambiguous. 

Undertale Sans

First, it was your car. No matter how many times you tried to start it, the battery was completely dead and you had no way to jumpstart it. Okay. Fine. You’ll take an Uber to work. Of course the Uber you called arrived ten minutes later than expected, but no matter, you can still make it to work on time. Ohh but oh no. You just had to leave your wallet at home, forcing you to borrow $30 from a coworker. Not only that, your boss completely chewed you out in front of everyone, leaving you embarrassed and flustered, distracting you from your job all day.  Finally, the clock ticked seven and you were finally released from the hell you call a job and you rush out the door without say goodbye to your coworkers, just looking forward a nice hot bath. But alas, the universe is against you today. After an hour long walk back home, you reach your front door, and of fucking course. You left your keys inside the house. Well that’s great. That’s just fucking great. Checking the time, you realize that it’s too late to call a locksmith. You sigh, having no idea what to do. In your hazy, frustrated delusion, you just walked. Walked on and on until you found yourself in front of the skelebrothers’ house, with no memory of having that destination in mind. You sigh. Well, you’re here anyway so might as well ring the doorbell. You know that Papyrus would help you for sure and you can pay them back another time. 

A tall, smiling skeleton answers the door in red pjs, “AH MY BROTHER’S SPECIAL FRIEND! COME INSIDE!” 

You accept his invitation inside and Papyrus closes the door behind you, “SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE AT THIS HOUR!” 

You blush when Papyrus refers you as “Sans’s special friend”, “Is Sans home?”

“YES! I BELIEVE HE IS ASLEEP RIGHT NOW! IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?” 

Your heart deflates and your eyes redden in attempt to hold back the tears, but the lump in your throat makes it hard. Papyrus is kind enough to offer you his help and you love the tall skeleton, but right now, you just want to see Sans more than anything. Papyrus seems to pick up on his and his expression softens. 

“ACTUALLY I THINK HE MIGHT BE AWAKE! FOLLOW ME!” the skeleton leads you upstairs and barges into Sans’s room, “BROTHER YOU HAVE A VISITOR!”

Sans shoots up in alarm, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and trying to process what the heck is going on. 

“I’LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE NOW!” Papyrus smiles and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. 

You shift awkwardly, not really knowing what to say, feeling his eye bearing on you in expectation, “Uhm, I didn’t mean to…uh you were asleep, so I uh..better go…” 

“(Y/N) is something wrong?” Sans asks, teleporting in front of you so you won’t get away. 

“N-Nothing, I just need a place to crash tonight,” you explain. 

“oh sure. i’ll get paps to set up a-”

Sans’s words falter when he finally notices your red eyes and your trembling shoulders, like any minute, you’re going to break down. He wordlessly guides you to his bed and pulls you in with him. Unable to hold back your tears, you sob into his shoulder, hiccuping your complaints but to him it just sounds like gibberish. 

“sorry, kiddo, you’re not speaking english here. what happened?” Sans asks as he strokes the back of your head. 

“Just a really bad day,” you whimper, relaxing in his hold. 

“well, i’m here now. it’s over,” Sans coos. 

You smile softly and kiss his cheeks, a faint blue blush forming, but you’re too exhausted to tease him about it. Instead, you focus on his breathing and let all of your troubles wash away in the arms of the skeleton. 

Underfell Sans

Nope. You’ve had enough bullshit today. After all the rude customers you’ve dealt with and jerkface boss, you really don’t want to go home into your cold bed. Which is how you ended up here, at the skeletons’ house, scaling the side so Fell doesn’t catch you. You have a feeling that the loud monster will not let you in at this hour and oh man, if he catches you attempting to break into his house, you are so dead. You’re nearly at the second floor when, suddenly, you lose your footing and your legs stumble back. You yelp quietly, but managed to hang onto a wooden panel, so you continue your climb upward. Finally, you reach Red’s closed window, which you easily jimmy open with a trick you found off of youtube. The skeleton is still sleeping soundly in his bed. You hoisted yourself up and over the window, but you misjudged the step and completely fall over his desk, knocking pens, and glass cups overwhere. You internally cringe as you get back up, and suddenly, Red shoots up from his bed, summons his blasters and aims it at you, seconds away from firing. 

“Sans, wait! It’s me!” you yell in a hush whisper, hoping to not wake up Fell. 

Red blinks, adjusting his vision to the darkness, then realizing that it’s really you, he puts away his attacks.

“are you crazy?! i almost killed you!” Red hisses in a loud whisper, his red eye the only light source in the room. 

“Fuck you. Move over,” you wiggle yourself under the covers next to him. 

“hey! you can’t just-”

You don’t give him time to respond. Instead, you bury yourself in his chest, unable to contain your emotions anymore. When you sob into his chest, Red is completely taken back, unsure what to you. Every ounce of anger he had at you for scaring him and breaking into his room completely dissipates. He awkwardly lets you stain his shirt for a while, until he wraps his arms around you and lean back into his pillow. Your whimpers turn into quiet sniffles then into soft breathing. Red affectionately nuzzles your head and allows himself to fall back asleep. 

anonymous asked:

That story of Blue-Print's first words is really adorable but the "Do you have a stomach?" Part killed me XD I mean yeah, Skeletons don't really have a stomach but it was still funny

Yeah, they don’t have it xD but I like to think they have one when they’re babies, so they can eat and grow healthy!

The Old Man and the Sea is the story of a fight between an elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like… HUGE. The story with Santiago suffering eighty-four days without catching a fish because he’s the unluckiest son-of-a-bitch on planet earth. Honestly, if you were on a boat for eighty-four days, it’d be hard to NOT catch a fish… even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his apprentice, Manolin,  was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him.

But as Fresh Prince used to say, ‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’, so the boy visits Santiago’s shack anyway. Ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself, Manolin helps out, moving Santiago’s fishing gear, making food and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio; who used to bump fuzzies with Marylin Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that he’s going way out into the Gulf Stream, WAY OUT north of Cuba.

Lady luck is returning! On the eighty-fifth day of his crappy luck, Santiago drops his lines, and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big-ass fish. He’s sure it’s a winner. He fights and fights and fights but can’t pull the monster in. Santiago’s leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life.

Even though he’s bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him “brother” or maybe even, “bro.” It’s sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like the most romantic comedies, he reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding.

But on the third day, Santiago is freakin’ EXHAUSTED, and decides he just want the fish to do as he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it. With a fucking harpoon. It’s a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words, instead giving in to base desires, and imposing his gigantically terrible positions on any given subject through unblinking violence.

Typical.

Anyway, he straps in the marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like a total show off to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding marlin’s carcass, because as we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you’ve finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to fucking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their crazy-weird shark dicks.

Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin. Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness.

Santiago realizes he’s still unlucky. REALLY unlucky. (Duh!) He calls the sharks, “dream killers”. Which isn’t really all that fair, I mean, the sharks were just doing their job and the marlin… Jesus, don’t even get me started on the marlin! It was just hanging out one day, minding it’s own business, maybe thinking ways it could be a better provider for its family and WHAM! Harpoon in the brain. Who’s the “dream killer” now, fuckface?

The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point. Eventually Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said - he’s super tired. The next morning, a group of fishermen gather around Santiago’s boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit-shingles! It’s over 18 feet!

The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (strange that this is the first mention of him) and the other fishermen ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man. Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again.

Many years later, there’s a Red Lobster Restaurant in nearly every city in America, offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.

  • ❝ Why are you scared to come home? ❞
  • ❝ I used to have this really weird recurring dream. ❞
  • ❝ I had what’s called an acute stress reaction. ❞
  • ❝ I committed myself voluntarily. ❞
  • ❝ You’re such a dork. ❞
  • ❝ Every time you smile, you’re, like, showing off your skeleton. ❞
  • ❝ Some love really is conditional. ❞
  • ❝ I killed him. ❞
  • ❝ You’re looking in the right direction, but you’re making the wrong connection. ❞
  • ❝ You know, sometimes we think we have to do something, but we really don’t. ❞
  • ❝ I think if you could go back and go down a different path, you would. ❞
  • ❝ You were gonna hurt [them]. ❞
  • ❝ I barely recognize myself. ❞
  • ❝ Do you still think about what a different version of your life would look like, if things had happened another way? ❞
  • ❝ When you think about this, it’ll just seem like some nightmare you had. ❞
  • ❝ Thanks for inviting me into my own house. ❞
  • ❝ Once or twice in a lifetime, if you’re lucky, there are moments.❞ 
  • ❝ Someone slices the world open right down the middle and you can see the sky behind it. The true world. ❞
  • ❝ Nothing’s sadder than a life without purpose. ❞
  • ❝ I was just a void, wasting life, and space, and air. ❞
  • ❝ I found myself in the presence of something greater. ❞
  • ❝ I fed [them] to a fire so it could burn even brighter. ❞
  • ❝ You want to see something cool? ❞
  • ❝ You grabbed on to some kind of darkness inside you. ❞
  • ❝ I may need you to do something for me later on today. Now, you’re gonna hate that I’m asking this, but park it in the back of your head, and if I ask you, then do it out of love. ❞
  • ❝ I know that somebody’s talking in your ear right now. I know that, and I know that they’re telling you what to do, but right now, I need you to listen to me. ❞
  • ❝ I’m gonna protect you. That’s my job, and I’m gonna protect you. ❞
  • ❝ I know that normally you are asking me for something, but this time, it’s me, and I’m asking you. ❞
  • ❝ I know that you think I’m delusional, but I’m not delusional. ❞
  • ❝ In the world you created, the cards fall your way. ❞
  • ❝ What will you do out there in a world you don’t know anymore? ❞
  • ❝ You look like a person with a conscience and a moral center. ❞
  • ❝ I can only imagine what’s actually hunched in that head of yours Some withered, chicken-hearted thing, starving for purpose. ❞
  • ❝ I’m as sharp as a razor blade. ❞
  • ❝ You can do good in the world. ❞
  • ❝ I’ll stay. But so will you. ❞
Guillotine

Klaus Mikaelson x Gender-Neutral Reader

Warnings: N/A

Word count: 298 (without lyrics)

A/N: (song here) Requested by a lovely anon!

Feedback is always appreciated! <3

Originally posted by love-your-imperfections-be-you


Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe

Klaus watched you sleep.  You looked so peaceful.  It made him want to keep this moment lasting forever.  It made him wonder how someone like you could love someone like him.

There’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway

He had a lot of skeletons in his closet, accumulated over a thousand years of life.  Secrets, old and new enemies, scorned lovers, and still the list went on.  But you didn’t care.  You stayed with him.  You never stopped loving him.

I know that you love me, love me
Even when I lose my head

Klaus Mikaelson was known for his legendary temper.  He’d been known to kill someone for saying the wrong thing, intended or not.  But the only time he’d ever yelled at you was when you’d almost died.

The Mikaelsons were facing yet another threat, and you had wanted to help.  Klaus all but forbade you tagging along on their mission, but you had snuck out and followed anyway.  In the end you had, indeed, helped.  In fact, you killed the vampire causing them trouble, but you had almost died of blood loss.

Klaus had been so mad and scared that he yelled at you when you regained consciousness.  You had yelled right back, not sorry about following but sorry for scaring him.

He thought you would mistake his anger for ungratefulness and leave.  But you didn’t.  You reassured him you weren’t going anywhere.  You still loved him.

You set my soul ablaze

When Klaus was with you, his soul felt like it was on fire in the best of ways.  It burned so hot that he thought it would kill him.  At first it had scared him.  But now he enjoyed it.  Because that meant you were real, that you weren’t some hallucination he’d conjured up to keep himself company.

As he watched you sleep, he smiled to himself, reveling in the knowledge that you would love him no matter what.

I know that you love me


Let me know if you wanna be tagged/untagged!  Sorry if you didn’t wanna be tagged!

The Originals Taglist: @mylittlefandomfanfictions @thyotakukimkim @purgatoan @panda-rosita @kenmen02 @suddenclarityharry @myplaceofthingsilove

Klaus Taglist: @roxielederp @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @vvinch3st3r

anonymous asked:

Jeremy, you should tell Ev about Squip. I think he'd understand. Maybe he also has a few skeletons in the closet as well....

JH: I’d rather… not? it’s a lot more complicated than just telling him
JH: w-what would I even say? “hey I tried a drug once and it took over my life and almost killed my boyfriend, also it’s still telling me i’m worthless”?
JH: I’d sound insane.
JH: maybe if it gets bad enough, but in general, no thx

anonymous asked:

can you make an afterdeath playlist please?

canon ones:
Bones (Ms Mr) (tbh portwave version is better)
Monster (Ghost Town)
Hold me Down (Halsey) 
Afterlife (Sir Sly (but it’s actually a Arcade Fire cover)
We Must Be Killers (Mikky Ekko) 
Mother Murder (Hollywood Undead) 
Love Lives In This House (Sivu)   
Strawberry Trapper (Guilty Kiss)    -   juST READ THE TRANSLATION 
Country Song (Seether)    
maybe - Bad Habit (The Kooks)
The First Stone (Sir Sly)
Levitate (Hollywood Undead) 
Private Wars (A-RISE) (subs in the video ~)
Where I’m Going (Sir Sly)
You’re So Creepy (Ghost Town AGaIn) 
A sadness runs through him (The Hoosiers) 
Holy (Wolf Colony)
How (The Neighbourhood) 
Trust Me (Marc Senter)
S.C.A.V.A. (Hollywood Undead) 
Get Away With Murder (Jeffree Star)
We’re My OTP (Troye Sivan)  
The Sharpest Lives (My Chemical Romance) 
Flawless (The Neighbourhood)
Blood Gets Thin (Pete and The Pirates)  
Lion (Hollywood Undead)
Never Giving Up (OF MICE & MEN)
Nicotine (Panic! at the Disco)   
Mental (Sounds Like Harmony)  
Dance With The Devil (Breaking Benjamin)  
Love Again (Pentatonix)
Break (I See Stars)  
Holy Death (Mr.Kitty)  
Devil in the Details (Placebo) 
Certain Romance (Arctic Monkeys)  
Hear Me (Imagine Dragons)  
Post Blue (Placebo) 
Bittersweet (Panic! At the Disco)
The Greatest Bastard (Damien Rice)  
Pools (Glass Animals)
Figure.09 (Linkin Park)  
Faint (Linkin Park)  
Numb (Linkin Park)  
One Step Closer (Linkin Park)
Bleed It Out (Linkin Park)
Second Chances (Imagine Dragons)
Come A Little Closer (Cage the Elephant)
That’s Right (Cage the Elephant)
Twisted (Skunk Anansie)
The Perfect Kiss (New Order)  
Message Man (Twenty One Pilots)
We Got Game (The Radio Dept)
Tear You Apart (She Wants Revenge)  


smut? :D
Paralyzed (Mystery Skulls) 
Flesh (Simon Curtis)
A Little Death (The Neighbourhood)
Little Monster II (Royal Blood) 

CPAU (?) 
Skeleton (Ghost Town) 

w/o lyrics (themes)
I Still Hate You (SUICIDEWΛVЕ)
visitor (пl3nk)
Nightmare (Portwave)
نحن نحب ( SUICIDEWΛVЕ) 
Go With The Flow (IC3PEAK) 
SUICIDE DANCE (НИИ GULAG)  

Police/Criminal AU 
Usual Suspects (Hollywood Undead) 
Heathens (twenty one pilots)
The Run And Go (twenty one pilots) again
Back Against The Wall (Cage The Elephant)

Serial Killers! AU:
Living Dead Girl (Rob Zombie)
Hospital For Souls (Bring Me The Horizon)
SWEETHOME  (SUICIDEWΛVЕ)  
JDNT (Glass Animals)  
Kill All Your Friends (My Chemical Romance)  

???

I HOPE YOU’LL ENJOY. 

i just finished sketching out and timing a huge animatic oh my gooosh

granted, when I say sketching I mean:

those are hands holding rocks with a skeleton hand behind them

BUT STILL- THAT’S LIKE THREE AND A HALF MINUTES OF CONSTANTLY SHIFTING DRAWINGS IT TOOK SOME EFFORT TO DO AND NOW I HAVE TO MAKE FINISHED FRAMES BUT… YEAH I’M MEGA EXCITED.

archiveofourown.org
Bloomtale - Chapter 10 - Kaitogirl - Undertale (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapter 10 is up!!! I feel like it’s been a lot since last time I posted ahahaha :’D


For those who can’t access AO3 or just don’t want to do it, the chapter is pasted under this sexy cut!!!

Keep reading

Heroes of the Storm - Arthas-related special dialogue
  • BY ARTHAS:
  • Killing Jaina: You broke your promise.
  • Killing Illidan: Still not good enough.
  • Killing Kerrigan (Starcraft): King takes queen.
  • Killing Muradin: This time, stay dead.
  • Killing Skeleton King (Diablo): There can be only one king of the dead.
  • Killing Uther: Where is your precious light now, Uther?
  • Clicked: Frostmourne yearns...
  • Clicked: You will all serve me.
  • Clicked: I rule.
  • Clicked: Hail to the king, baby.
  • Clicked: I am one cold brother.
  • Clicked: Darkness stopped calling. It's alright though, we're still friends through RealID.
  • Clicked: I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.
  • Clicked: No man can defeat me. Although 10 - 25 might do the trick.
  • Clicked: If you think I'm powerful now, you should see my abilities in Heroic mode.
  • Clicked: I'm looking for a few dead men with the cursed mettle to be Death Knights.
  • Clicked: It's LICH King not LICK King. The two are very very different jobs.
  • Clicked: All I want to do is settle down with a Lich Queen of my own and have some little Lichlings. Is that too much to ask?
  • Clicked: Ever get the feeling you're hearing voices in your helmet?
  • Clicked: You would make an adequate ghoul. Mindless and proficient at repetitive tasks.
  • Clicked: The thing no one tells you about sitting on a Frozen Throne is how much of your flesh ends up stuck to it.
  • TO ARTHAS:
  • Killed by Illidan: Today and forever... I am your better, Arthas.
  • Killed by Anub'arak: Finally, I am free of you!
  • Killed by Jaina: By the light... find your rest, Arthas.
  • Killed by Kael'thas: Death looks good on you, Arthas.
  • Killed by Kerrigan (Starcraft): What's up with all these bratty princes anyways?
  • Killed by Malfurion: <sigh> Brat.
  • Killed by Muradin: That's for leaving me in a cave...
  • Killed by Skeleton King (Diablo): I alone am the king of the damned!
  • Killed by Sylvanas: The endless dark awaits you, Arthas. Go, and suffer.
  • Killed by Thrall: Your reign is over.
  • Killed by Tychus (Starcraft): Nice armor... Too bad it ain't worth squat.
  • Killed by Uther: Rot in hell, boy.
  • Killed by Varian: A king in name only.
  • Killed by Witch Doctor (Diablo): Be at peace, fallen king.