the skank kurt hummel

kurt hummel wasn’t the type of person you brought home to meet mom and dad. but blaine anderson wasn’t the type of person to care.

“I’m not very good at this whole “meeting the parents” thing,” Kurt commented, scowling when Blaine plucked the cigarette he had just lit out of his hand and stubbed it out.

“That’s a nasty habit and you know how much I hate it,” Blaine said in response to Kurt’s expression. “And besides, how do you know you’re not very good at it if you’ve never done it before?”

“I’ve done it with friends’ parents, idiot. And none of them have ever been too keen on all of this.” He gestured to his pink hair, nose and lip rings, and dark clothes chosen carefully to make it look like he didn’t give a shit. “Seriously, I thought Q’s mom was gonna call a priest and have me blessed and that was before she found out I was gay.”

“Well,” Blaine chuckled, adjusting his cute-in-a-nerdy-sort-of-way glasses. “Good news is my mom already knows you’re gay and she doesn’t go to church so I doubt she knows any priests.”

“Blaine.”

Blaine sighed and leaned over the center console to brush a stray lock of hair off of Kurt’s forehead. “Look, I know this is probably terrifying for you. Trust me, when I met your dad I just about passed out, so I understand. But my mom’s not scary, I promise.”

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What They Don’t Know

Summary: Kurt’s used to bowing out when it’s time to play spin the bottle because no one wants to play with the gay kid, but this time might just change his mind. (aka Skank!Kurt and Bad Boy!Blaine play Seven Minutes in Heaven)

Words: ~2400

As a member of the Skanks, Kurt Hummel was used to the assumptions people made about him. If it meant they’d leave him alone, he didn’t give a fuck what people thought- even if more than half of the rumors weren’t true. His favorite was that he’d once snorted cocaine off of Rachel Berry’s ass during his brief engagement with the Glee Club back in his Sophomore year.

Despite what everyone thought, he wasn’t into drugs. Or alcohol, for that matter- it was all for show. He wore his piercings like armor and carried around unlit cigarettes as if they could somehow act as weapons. The only one who knew the truth about him was their leader: Quinn Fabray. And because of that, he was at her mercy.

“There’s a party this Friday at Puckerman’s,” she told him during lunch one day. “We’re going.”

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Date Night - Klaine [PG-13]

McKinley High’s resident skank Kurt Hummel decides to take his nerdy boyfriend out on a special date. (~3k / AO3 link)

Thanks to livwholikestv for betaing and everyone else who gave me their input and ideas on twitter. klainesupremist I hope this makes you smile because you deserve to smile always and at all times.

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