the siphon

the peace process | alfie/twin!reader

set in the same verse as ‘the other one’

“Hold my hand, we need to make this believable”

Alfie turned his head to you with a fed up expression and you just smirked and grabbed his hand, weaving your fingers through his.

“When’s the last time you smiled?”

“Feels like a fucking lifetime”

“Aww, baby, don’t be like that”

“Call me fucking baby again, I’ll shoot you in front of the whole table”

“Well then our guests won’t believe we’re madly in love will they, Alfie? They’ll just think you’re mad and then war will break out again and it’ll all go to shit in a bread basket. And since it’ll be me stitching you all back together I have a vested interest in its success”

Tommy’s car pulled up and he fussed with his coat until he saw you stood with Alfie, nuzzled up to his side, trying to siphon off his body heat. He smirked, then shook his head, and lit a cig. The spark of his lighter lit up a small bubble around him and cut through the shadows in the cold street outside the club.

“The happy couple”

Keep reading

Me: baby wanna sexy role play
My bf: yes god., what are we role playing
Me: You’re living in a damp basement warehouse somewhere in Silicon Valley getting siphoned money from Russia to develop new intelligence technologies and I’m you’re ai you built in your image causing you a moral crisis about having developed a deep attachment to and lay awake in bed wondering if something inside you programmed me to love you because you are so lonely and misunderstood by other tech people because you like talking heads. I don’t have body or a voice yet. I’m a mass of code and binary. And you’re about to fuck me.

It turns out that the happy birthday song is a necromantic ritual which siphons life from the singers and gives it to the person they’re singing to. When you’re young, you often have large birthday parties with lots of friends to sing to you and keep you healthy and vital. But as you get older, your circle of friends shrinks, and you slowly stop celebrating your birthday. Without the life force of others to sustain you, you slowly age and wither away.

People Have Been Trying To Reduce Their Utility Bills For Millennia

Private access to water in ancient Rome was expensive. Homeowners who could afford running water paid for it based on the diameter of their access pipe. Unsurprisingly, people cheated. They often installed larger pipes than what had been paid for. This scam prompted the invention of the “calix” – a sleeved pipe which was put into the wall not by the homeowners, and which was decorated to prevent forgeries or alterations. Despite the calixes, crafty Romans still found a way to get their water cheaper. Some tried to steal water from the aqueducts directly, siphoning it off themselves or bribing the aquarii (specialized aqueduct workers) to siphon off water for them. All these practices were known as “fraus aquariorum” or plumbing fraud.

The secret of blue is well kept. Blue comes from far away. On its way, it hardens and changes into a mountain. The cicada works at it. The birds assist. In reality, one doesn’t know. One speaks of Prussian blue. In Naples, the virgin stays in the cracks of walls when the sky recedes. But it’s all a mystery. The mystery of sapphire, mystery of Sainte Vierge, mystery of the siphon, mystery of the sailor’s collar, mystery of the blue rays that blind and your blue eye which goes through my heart.
—  Jean Cocteau, from “The Secret of Blue,” Tempest of Stars: Selected Poems (Enitharmon Press, 1997)
A Mantisfly (Orientispa sp., Mantispidae, Neuroptera) overlooking her eggs

Her (hundreds of) eggs appear to be levitating off the leaf surface as each is attached by a practically invisible filament. This feature of Neuropteran eggs is better known and exaggerated in the lacewings, which lay each egg on a lengthy filament, which protects the offspring from predators and prevents newly hatched larvae from devouring their siblings.

The next stage in the mantisfly life cycle is equally fascinating. The members of the subfamily, Mantispinae, are parasitoids of spider eggs. The freshly hatched grub-like larvae will seek out a female spider to hitch a ride upon until she produces an egg sac of her own, or they will stumble upon an egg sac by chance in their wanderings. They then go through their life cycle siphoning out the spider egg contents, eventually pupating within the egg sac prior to adulthood.

The adult mantisfly, with its raptorial mantis-like forelimbs, is a predator of other insects. Some species are quite large, but the local members of this genus are tiny. This one is just over 10mm in length.

External image

by Sinobug (itchydogimages) on Flickr.
Pu'er, Yunnan, China

See more Chinese insects and spiders on my Flickr site HERE……

“I can use the stairs.”

Elain huffs. “Lucien, that’ll take you an hour.”

“The first hour is always Cassian and Nesta bickering while Rhys makes bedroom eyes at Feyre, anyway.”

Elain smiles against her will, but doesn’t let her mate make any headway towards the enormous staircase of the house of wind. “Luciennnnnnn,” she intones, holding him back by the arm, “Come on. Even Amren has to get flown up. Trust me, your dignity is not suffering more than Amren’s.”

“Amren doesn’t have a giant Illyrian with a personal vendetta to—“ the booming sounds of wings cut him off as two figures in black descend with a leathery snap before them, siphons glinting. “—To make my life difficult. Hello, Azriel.”

Azriel and Elain exchange polite hellos, but Cassian is sporting what can only be called a shit-eating grin.

“Cassian,” Lucien finally adds.

“Lucien. Darling.”

Elain tries not to giggle. Cassian delights in good-naturedly antagonizing her mate; Lucien always gives as good as he gets, but the odds are a little stacked today.

Cassian holds out his arms, expression smug. “Shall we?”

“I’m afraid I have to beg your pardon, Commander,” Lucien says with faux apology, their game begun. “But I was just about to ask Azriel to take me, and you to take Elain. I just thought it made sense, given that I’m heavier than Elain, and that Az, I’m told,“ —appraising glances at both Illyrians— “Has the larger wingspan of the two of you.”

Elain has to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, and even Az’s spymaster composure cracks.

Cassian’s smile has tightened, and his mouth purses as he decides his retaliation.

“I understand,” he says finally, nodding. “It’s perfectly normal, the first time you feel something like this—“ he gestures between them, “—to be overwhelmed by it. If you’d rather seek shelter in Azriel’s arms for the time being, I won’t judge you.”

Lucien’s shoulders shake with suppressed laughter, but he stares up at the sky like he can will himself away from this conversation. “I’d really like to know why we’re having the meeting in a house that only four of the nine people attending can easily access,” he muses.

“And I’d like to know why you’re denying the passion between us, princeling.” Cassian puts an offended hand on his chest. “I won’t wait for you forever.”

Elain is reduced to a fit of giggles that makes Lucien smile wryly too.

“Shall we leave these clowns to their antics, Elain?” Az asks lightly.

“Alright, alright,” Lucien relents, laughing. “Let’s go, Cassian. My mate’s about to abandon me.”

But Cassian crosses his arms, mirth still in his eyes. “Oh, you think you can just get a ride whenever you like? That wingspan comment was rather offensive. I suddenly don’t feel like taking you anywhere.”

Lucien groans. “What now? Are you going to make me beg?”

“That would be a start.” Cassian examines his nails uninterestedly.

“Please, Cassian?”

Cassian ignores him.

“Please, Commander?”


Lucien rolls his eyes. “Please, o beautiful and powerful Illyrian warlord with shoulders that shouldn’t fit through doors and an abdomen made of solid steel.”

Cassian arches an eyebrow. “Getting closer. What are you asking me, Lucien? Be specific.”

Lucien heaves a sigh of defeat. “I’m asking you to wrap me in your big beautiful arms and take me. Is that the kind of homoerotic answer you were looking for?”

Cassian’s grin returns in full force, and his wings unfurl anew from his back. “Yep, that’ll do.”

Elain’s face hurts from laughing, and it only gets worse as the Illyrian sweeps Lucien off his feet, her mate going stiff and bristling at the motion like he’s an angry red cat.

“Be nice to him, Cassian,” she calls, as Az does the same with her (albeit more gently).

“Don’t worry, I know it’s his first time. I’ll be gentle.”

“If you drop me, I will set you on fire,” Lucien deadpans in response.

“If I drop you, you’ll be dead,” Cassian says cheerfully, and Lucien’s smart response is swallowed by the crack of air under Cassian’s wings as they shoot off into the sky.

anonymous asked:

Imagine Amren... babysitting the rest of the Inner Circle's children

Rhys: Jeremy, who told you it was okay to cut your own hair?

Jeremy: (shrugs) Aunty Amren said we should learn to do things for ourselves.
Cassian: Laila, do you know where daddy’s siphons went?

Laila: I hid them under my pillow.

Cassian: And why would you hide daddy’s siphons under your pillow?

Laila: That’s where Aunty Amren hides all her sparkly things.

Noah: (trudges down the stairs) Yes, mother dearest?

Mor: Why are all the vases filled with goats blood?

Noah: Ms. Amren gave me $50 bucks to do it.
Azriel: Rose, where it your brother?

Rose: (shrugs)

Azriel: Rose?

Rose: Last I saw him, he was sitting in the middle of the stairs to the House of Wind.

Azriel: And why would you leave Oliver there when you know he doesn’t have wings?

Rose: Aunty Amren said we teach people how to treat us. Oliver sent his shadows after me, so I made sure he’d never do it again.
Feyre: Rhys, why does it look like you cut your own hair?

Rhys: Because I did.

Feyre: Why exactly?

Rhys: Because Amren told Jeremy that he should learn to do things for himself so he cut his own hair and i was going to scold him but then i realized that I’d never cut my own hair so it wouldn’t be fair to get mad at him for something I’d never tried so I tried and well….

Feyre: (pinches the bridge of her nose)
Nesta: Laila, why did you paint flowers all over the bathroom mirror?

Laila: Because Aunty Amren said daddy is always ogling his muscles in it because he wants to impress mommy, and I thought they would make him feel pretty.
Noah: Mother’s tits!


Noah: oops.

Mor: Did Amren teach you that?

Noah: No. Uncle Cassian says it when Laila and Aunt Nesta aren’t around.

Some Things Are Unforgivable

Anakin’s Force Ghost: [exhausted and disheveled, rubbing his eyes] OK…read what we have so far back to me. 
Obi-Wan’s Force Ghost: [putting on reading glasses] All right. “One - steal his mask and then tell him he doesn’t get it back unless he does what you say”, “Two - catfish him online and attempt to siphon away money from the First Order until it dissolves”, “Three - tell him that the light side has hotter ginger guys if that’s what he’s into” – awww…Anakin…
Anakin: [winks] 
Obi-Wan:  – “Four - kidnap him and send him to one of those cult-deprogramming places” –
Anakin: …wouldn’t have worked on me.
Obi-Wan: – and “Five” – well, actually the next 15 lines just say “kick his ass”, which I don’t think we’re allowed to do anymore. 
Anakin: [throws his pen at the wall] But why can’t we just go kick his ass? That kid is out there, sullying my name… 
Obi-Wan: …well in fairness I think you really got the ball rolling there – 
Anakin: …and concealing a full head of Skywalker Hair. ON PURPOSE!
Obi-Wan: [clenching his fist] The man is a monster. He must be stopped. 

IMAGINE: illyrian Nesta.

When they teach her to fly, Cassian’s wings are still hurt. He can’t fly so he helps her learn to get off the ground by holding both her hands because he “says” it will keep her from getting too high too fast (and her wings are too new and weak to carry his weight). But Nesta knows that the hand holding thing is more about him wanting an excuse to hold her hands. But she’s secretly fine with it and mildly terrified about getting caught in a strong current and getting swept away.

Cassian suggests putting a leash on Nesta just in case she goes too high and gets caught in a strong current. She ardently refused. (And secretly he knows he could use his siphons to grab her if something went wrong.)

Once she’s mastered getting off the ground they go out to sea. Cassian stands on the prow of a ship and Nesta practices going higher. When she falls it’s fine because of the water and she doesn’t go that high. But Cassian barks orders at her from the ground like, “BANK LEFT. NO—LEFT. NESTA. LEFT! YOUR OTHER LEFT.”

Nesta: (crashes to the water, climbs up into the boat) “The next time the winds change you should yell that first.”

Then one day she gets descent at flying and Cassian is yelling orders at her. She’s practicing falling drills where she has to catch herself. Her wings are stronger and more muscled so she’s pretty good at it. And Cassian tells her to bail out of the fall really late and she gets hit by a wave and it pisses her off. So she gets air born again and flies over to Cassian on the boat, picks him up, and dumps him into the ocean. He laughs the whole time. And when he and Nesta are on the boat again he jokes that if she wants to hold him in her arms so badly when he’s soaking wet she should just ask.

The Court of Dreams

Can we just talk about the Court of dreams for a second? Like there’s Rhysand, most powerful high lord in history, and a badass warrior. There’s Armen, who’s so powerful that Rhysand (most powerful high lord ever) doesn’t even dare argue with her. Then there’s Mor, who argued with Armen and survived, and obviously has tons of power. And Feyre, who has all the powers of the high lords total badass. Then Cassian and Azriel, best warriors ever, who need SEVEN siphons when the other Illyrians only need one.

Like, this is the post powerful court EVER. I’m honestly not (that) worried about this war

The Origins Of Disney Names

Many Disney characters are based on fairy tales and folk stories, but many others are original to their movies and come from rather clever places.

Here are a few examples:

  • Judy Hopps from Zootopia: “Hopps” refers to the way rabbits hop, as she is a rabbit.
  • Baymax from Big Hero 6: Baymax is named after Betamax, a video system that competed with VHS, much as Baymax in the film competes with a robot made from a VCR.
  • Elsa and Anna from Frozen: Named for Elsa and Anna Hermansendorf, two sisters who survived two weeks in the Norwegian Winter after they were lost on a camping trip. Anna Hermansendorf also had a white streak in her hair.
  • Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph: Named for Ralph Nader, who wrecked the 2000 and 2004 elections by running as a Green Party candidate, siphoning votes from Al Gore and John Kerry and ensuring the presidency of George W. Bush.
  • Lilo and Stitch: Named for Lilo Pelekai and Sid “Stitch” Snickers, respectively. Lilo Pelekai was a Hawaiian dancer in the 1950s. Sid “Stitch” Snickers was a serial killer in the 1980s known for eating the faces of his victims and stitching their flayed skin into a body suit that he wore while committing his crimes, including the butchering of several families and burning of numerous orphanages. It is thought Disney naming executives may have confused him with Sidney “Stitches” Salvador who was also a Hawaiian dancer.
  • Kuzco from The Emperor’s new Groove: Named after Qosqo, the historic capital of the Inca Empire.