the shrimp in the pocket

Every Leverage episode is awesome in its own way but I gotta admit, the Rashomon job is and will always be my favorite. It’s just…there’re so many little details that make it great. The way Sophie’s accent gets progressively more mangled throughout Eliot, Hardison, and Parker’s retellings. Hardison’s first ever impression of Eliot being some knife-crazy maniac (the way the knife changes sizes depending on who’s telling the story gets me every time). How everyone except for Nate thinks the museum’s head of security is some super hardcore, ultra competent guy when really he’s just a poor dude with a crush. Hardison stuffing the shrimp puffs into his pockets (Same, Hardison. Same.). The goddamn breath mints (“it’s a very distinctive smell”). How the dagger literally falls right into Nate’s hands. How Hardison is canonically 19 at this time and somehow manages to pass himself off as the Zimbabwe art minister?? Combine all of that together and there is absolutely nothing about this episode that I don’t love. 

  • gajeel, to levy: lmao ur such a squirt, a small ass shrimp. should i put u in my pocket ??? can u even reach the table ???
  • -
  • person, to levy: om g ur so small ??
  • gajeel: u better back the fu ck up or get smacked the fuc k up . dont ever talk to levy like that

softbrobucky  asked:

A belated Bucky birthday prompt: Steve's a waiter at a heavily themed restaurant (think Rainforest Cafe) and he's tired of people blatantly lying to get the over-the-top Free Birthday Dessert. It's Bucky's birthday and he wants his over-the-top Free Birthday Dessert. He may also want his cute waiter's phone number.

All of the dishes mentioned in this ficlet are actual dishes off of the Downtown Disney Rainforest Café menu.

— —

Steve Rogers has had it with these motherfucking college kids coming into motherfucking Rainfoest Café and ordering motherfucking free desserts when it’s not even their birthday. This happens at least once a shift, some group of giggling college first-years who don’t have good enough fakes to get into a bar, snorting as they say it’s Christie’s or Jeremy’s birthday and snapping pics on their cellphone as Steve brings out the Sparkling Volcano — a stack of mediocre brownies covered with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and caramel with a motherfucking sparkler stuck on top. The Sparkling Volcano is a pain, the fact that these kids never calculate the $17 that the Sparkling Volcano costs into their tip is a pain, and capitalism? Yeah, that’s a pain, too.

So when this table of formerly well-behaved people start giggling and elbowing each other when Steve brings the dessert menu over, he knows it’s game over.

“Don’t do it,” says the hot guy who (somewhat inadvisably) ordered the Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp.

The woman who ordered the Tribal Salmon grins. “It’s his birthday,” she says.

“Oh man, she went there,” says Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken. He’s pretty cute, too.

“Shut up Sam,” says BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger.

“You’re all assholes,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says. BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger giggles and nudges Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken. Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken rolls his eyes, but is smiling.

Steve hates them all.

“So, we’ll have one of those chocolate lava things.”

Steve — who is a good employee and a good person — does not sigh like he would like to. Instead he turns to Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp, plasters on a smile and says, “Happy birthday!” knowing in his heart of hearts that it is not, in fact, this guy’s birthday. The way that Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp kind of slumps in his chair only confirms this to Steve. He turns back to the rest of the table. “One Sparkling Volcano coming up. Can I interest you in something to go along with it? A Maya’s Mango Sorbet or a Raspberry Lemonade Freeze?” The ‘that you’ll actually pay for’ is implied.

“No, just the Sparkling Volcano,” Tribal Salmon says.

Steve feels the corner of his mouth twitch. “Alright. That’ll be just a few minutes.”

“Motherfuckers,” Steve mutters after he puts in the order for the cake. He had liked that table. They had seemed nice. He could’ve sworn that Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp had been checking him out.

Instead they’re making him bring a free hassle of a dessert. Fuck them.

He has enough time to check on two of his other tables before the Sparkling Volcano is up. He looks at the gloppy mess, says a little prayer, then lights the sparkler.

There’s an art to getting to the customer’s table with a lit Sparkling Volcano; it takes time and a certain grace. Steve isn’t quite proud of the fact that he’s been at Rainforest Café long enough to have mastered that art — this is still just a day job that he does to support himself while he makes actual art — but he does have the act down. He grins and he walks to the table, ready to sing the Rainforest Café non-patented birthday song.

And then BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger says, “Holy shit, that’s awesome. Let me get this on camera!”

The next few moments are kind of a blur. One second Steve is bending over to put the Sparkling Volcano down in front of the birthday boy, the next BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger is hopping up and into Steve. “FUCK,” Steve says as he loses his balance, eyes going wide as he falls back, sparkling dessert falling back onto him.

“Clint!” Someone shouts.

“FUCK,” Steve shouts again as the Sparkling Volcano lands on him. He grunts as the sparkler hits his skin — the neck, of all places — then quickly pushes it off of him. As the chocolate sauce extinguishes the flame, Steve just lets himself lay on the ground, neck throbbing. He notices that the “storm” has started and nearby electronic gorillas start pounding their chests and grunting as thunder cracks.

It feels appropriate.

He notices Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp get down on the ground next to him. “Jesus,” he says. “Just tell me,” Steve says, eyes feeling heavy. “Is today really your birthday?”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp looks down at him with his very blue eyes. “Yeah,” he says. “Why?”

“No reason,” Steve says, then passes out.

— —

Steve is sitting in the employee back room holding a cool washcloth to his neck when Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp walks in. “Hey there,” he says.

“Hi birthday boy,” Steve says. “Sorry I couldn’t sing to you.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp smiles, a little sheepishly. “I told them not to order the stupid cake,” he says.

“I should tell you that it’s fine for something, but honestly? I really wish that they hadn’t.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp barks out a laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “They thought they were being cute.” He kind of shuffles his feet, looks down. “It’s my first birthday since getting sober. They wanted to do something fun, so they gave me the choice between Rainforest Café and Chuck-E-Cheese. I chose Rainforest Café.”

Steve feels himself soften a little. “Sorry that it turned out this way.”

“Well,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his peacoat and looking up at Steve, “it was going pretty good until my friend Clint knocked over the cute server I wanted to ask out.”

Steve blinks. “What?” he asks.

“God,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says, running a hand through his dark hair. “I feel like such an ass, but if you wanted to maybe—“

“Yeah,” Steve interrupts. “I do.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp drops his hand and looks at Steve, surprised. “Really?”

Steve shrugs. “Can’t be much worse than being burned by a free dessert.”

“I think Natasha left you a really nice tip.”

“Good,” Steve says. “Then maybe I can get you a decent dessert.”

Caribbean Coconut Shrimp grins. “Yeah?” he asks.

Steve nods. “I’m Steve,” he says.

“Bucky,” Caribbean Coconut Shrimp replies.

“Happy birthday, Bucky,” Steve says.

“Well,” Bucky responds, “it is now.”

Jeongguk to Yoongi: lmao you’re so small, a small ass cute shrimp, should I put you in my pocket?? Put you in my palm??? Can you even reach the table?

Someone to Yoongi: omg you’re so small ??

Jeongguk: you better back the fuck up before I smack you the fuck up. Don’t ever talk to Yoongi-Hyung like that. He’s my cute little boyfriend >:|

mysticbaconslice  asked:

I'm not goin on anon cause I know the perfect way to seduce you by describing the perfect date. First, I arrive no later than 3:30pm with killer eyeliner and pants that are ten times bigger than my size. Second, I grab the shrimp cocktail stuffed in my pockets that I have been saving for this occasion and slowly insert a still-frozen shrimp between my lips. Third, you witness me eating rock hard seafood while the summer breeze goes through my boxer shorts. Fourth, we make steamy love years after


Iron Roses

Pairing: Gajeel Redfox x Levy McGarden (Hades/Persephone!AU)

Summary: Levy was always kept in the walls of her home, but when her mother leaves her alone to attend to business, she visits her beloved flower garden where she lures a presence out of the shadows.

A/N: Italics with ’ indicate ‘inner thoughts!’ Happy reading! (:

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Midnight Gift

A/N: Hello everyone! I am back with a new fic. A little Gajevy Christmas one-shot. I know it’s late (it’s New Year’s for goodness sake), but at least it’s here, right? So Happy Christmas to all my followers :D

“Oh hey Levy! You’re here early. Well, not that that’s new or anything,” said Mirajane from behind the bar where she was rearranging some Christmas garlands.

“Hey Mira. Yeah, I can’t wait at home. I just get too jittery thinking about it,” Levy replied as she sat on one of the bar stools. “So, who else is here?”

“Oh, the Master and Laxus. Juvia, Elfman and Lissanna, of course. Gildarts sent a letter a few days ago sying he would try to make it here on time to celebrate with Cana. Although, I doubt he’s actually going to be able to accomplish that.”

“No kidding,” laughed Levy.

“Merry Christmas everyone! Who’s ready for a good holiday brawl?” shouted a voice from the entrance of the guild.

“Natsu! Get your butt in there or I will personally kick your ass into the guild,” yelled another voice.

“Natsu, Lucy! So glad you guys could make it,” said Mira. Lucy smiled and came over to sit next to Levy.

“Yeah I know. I was worried that we wouldn’t make it in time, but Happy and I were able to convince Natsu to take the train back and save a few hours of travel. What kind of fool wants to walk back from a mission?”

Levy giggled as her friend recounted the mission to the devil mage. She loved Christmas, especially since the Master made a rule about everyone being home for the holiday.  The guild slowly continued to fill up as the rest of the members came over. All of them had their arms filled with gifts.

Finally, when evening came Makarov called for everyone’s attention. “Hello you brats!” Everyone raised their glasses. Makarov chuckled and continued. “We’ve had a lucky year this year. Lots to be thankful for. So let’s make sure we celebrate it correctly and enjoy the company of our guild members. To show just how much we love each other, let’s start the gift exchange!”

And just like that, the guild was lively once again. Everyone was bustling around, giving each other gifts. Hugs and kisses were exchanged. Laughter was in the air. Levy, although a huge Christmas enthusiast, enjoyed peacefully giving her friends gifts, most unlike Juvia who jumped onto her dear Gray-sama once she had the chance. However, Levy couldn’t seem to find the one person whose gift had been most difficult to find. Before she knew it, the party was over and people were either heading home or crashing on the floor of the guild.

“Oh Levy, you’re still here,” said a flying Exceed.

“Lily,” Levy looked at him sadly.

“If you were looking for Gajeel, he went home already. Actually, he left a few minutes after the gift exchange. Said something about taking advantage of the commotion to escape before one of the females begged him to show his presents.”

“Oh. Alright then. Goodnight Lily. And Merry Christmas,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

With a soft smile, Lily answered. “Merry Christmas to you too Levy.”

Even though Erza’s door was closed, Levy made sure to wait a few minutes before coming out of her own room. Having made sure the coast was clear, Levy tiptoed out of her room fully dressed with her snow boots and gift in hand. Once downstairs, she slipped on her shoes and prepared herself for the trek in the snow outside. I’m really crazy aren’t I? she thought. I should just wait for tomorrow. But she shook her head, convincing herself that if she didn’t do it now, she would never have the courage to give it to him. With a new confidence, Levy opened the door.

To her surprise, he was there. She could recognize him anywhere… well that and the fact that his hair was beginning to freeze out in the cold and he was pacing around enough to clear a passage in front of the dorm.

“Gajeel?” she called. He turned to face her in an instant. His face was red, although whether that was due to the below-freezing temperature or to the heavy object that was hiding in her coat pocket, Levy couldn’t know.

“Hey Shrimp. Watcha doing out here in the cold?” he smirked.

“I was going out to give someone a gift,” she answered smoothly.

“Oh,” he said, smile falling off his face. “Um, you shouldn’t be out here at this time. With this weather. By yourself.”

“Oh, and why is that?” she crossed her arms.

“Just because,” he was doing his best to avoid looking at her. “Anyways, I’m sure your gift can wait for tomorrow.”

“Actually it can’t.”

“Fine. Whatever. Go give yer stupid gift to your special midnight friend or whatever. I’m outta here.” The slayer turned around with a grunt and started towards the main road. Until he felt something hit the back of his head. He quickly changed directions to see who his aggressor was, only to find a red-faced watery-eyed Levy panting. Looking at the ground, Gajeel found the projectile: a small gift bag with a ribbon so huge you could barely tell it was a bag. “What do you think yer doing throwing your gift at me, Shrimp?”

“It’s for you, you stupid Gajeel!” she shouted. He blushed and picked it up, looking at it as though it were some sort of alien booby trap. “I wanted to give it to you at the party, but I couldn’t seem to reach you. So I was going to head over to your place and give it to you.” At this, Gajeel raised an eyebrow and let out a small chuckle. Frustrated, Levy stomped up to him. “Fine, you don’t want it? Just fine! Give it back to me then. You don’t need this anyways”

Gajeel pulled away. “Hey, no, you can’t do that. You gave it to me, so now I gotta open it. No takebacks Shorty.” Now Levy was the one to blush. She looked at him as he opened the present. He was careful to not tear the ribbon. Once the bag was free, he pulled out the gift: a guitar pick. And it wasn’t any old guitar pick; it was black and had Lily’s face on it.

“I thought I would mix the two things you love the most: music and Lily. So I asked the music shop on Plum Street to make an original pick,” the girl mumbled.

“Hm. Are there any with your face on it?” Gajeel asked while shuffling through the other picks in the bag.

“Whaaat?!” Levy yelled.

Gajeel burst out laughing. “Those aren’t the only things I love, Levy.” He looked at her tenderly. “Thank you for this. I really like it.”

“You’re welcome,” Levy replied shyly.

“Ugh, I guess this means I have to give you my present too, huh?” Gajeel said lightly. The girl looked up at him. Even though she was seemed calm, the slayer knew the little bookworm loved receiving gifts. He reached inside his coat and pulled out a wrapped present. “Here.”

She quickly grabbed the gift, and unlike the large man next to her, she ripped the paper to shreds. Underneath was an old leather-bound tome. “What is this?” she asked as she examined the book. “I don’t recognize the writings”

“That’s because it’s in dragon tongue, Shrimp. There aren’t many books written in it.”

At this, Levy looked up at the dark-haired man and through herself onto him for a hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much Gajeel. I love it.”

“Is that the only thing you love?” He whispered into her ear. Levy pulled her head back and looked into his eyes. A small moment passed before their lips pressed together. The kiss was gentle, but neither hid their feelings for each other.

“Nah. It’s not the only thing I love,” Levy said. “Merry Christmas Gajeel.”

“Merry Christmas Levy.”

‘Oddly specific AUs’

Prompt: ‘I hired you to be my date to a wedding’ AU

Paring: Gajevy

Second part here!

“Oh Lu, it’s going to be just beautiful!” Levy found no trouble in joyously fawning over her best friend’s upcoming wedding. The ample weight of last minute supplies held no deterrent as she almost skipped with it. After setting down the box half her petite size, she came up to the blonde’s watchful eyes. “Lu?”

“Have you figured out who is going to be your ‘plus one?’ You’re definitely cutting it close.” Lucy raised a brow anxiously waiting to hear word on her date.

Levy nervously gulped as she looked away. “Well you see…” She began to speak soft words ultimately unable to piece together a proper sentence.

“Hmm?” The blonde bent at the waist meeting an eventual eye contact.

“Don’t worry about it Lu.” The blunette laughed softly knowing that vague reassurance wouldn’t suffice.

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blackmetalgajeel  asked:

"Oi, Shrimp, I got you something.." Gajeel reached into his pocket pulling out a red bandana with small skulls on it. "I got it made special for you. Look at the skulls." He insisted, "They're made out of books."

Levy gently took the gift and looked up at the tall man.
“This is so nice of you Gajeel.” Levy’s cheeks flushed. “I love it. What’s this for, anyway? What’d I do to deserve such a gift?”

once-lost-muses  asked:

Fluff please - older alex

Going to the carnival.

“I thought since your dad is out of town we could swing by the carnival, you know have a little quality time?” Peeta smiled over at Alex. “You’re almost as tall as him, I’m jealous. I’m just the shrimp of the family.” He laughed as he shoved his hands in his pocket.