the shield and hammer

My partymate’s female goliath fighter! I actually really enjoyed this one, even after having to change her gear after a mid-dungeon upgrade from leather to adamantine splint armour. Which I lost to her in an arm wrestling match. orz

enemy reinhardt: unstoppable wall, whole team is standing behind him, shield never goes down but his hammer does like every five seconds, potg

me as reinhardt: shield made out of tissue paper, my team is on the other side of the map, soldier 76 is moved to pity by my friendless state and stands in front of me in an effort to shield me with his body

Marvel Cinematic Universe #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

Iron Man (2008) : A billionaire eats cheeseburgers and talks to his machines that do all the work for him.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) : A scientist fails to become Captain America and instead turns into Shrek.

Iron Man 2 (2010) : Same billionaire, but richer, more famous and crazier.

Thor (2011) : A hot blondie is outcast from his planet just because he wanted to kill his fathers enemies.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) : Creepy CGI dude gets make over and gets hot AF and everyone loves him suddenly. And he asks out a girl when he’s about to crash into ice.

The Avengers (2012) : A hot Rapunzel wannabe bullies his little evil brother with the help of Buzzlighter, an old man with frisbee, Katniss Everdeen, Shrek and Fiona.

Iron Man 3 (2013) : Same billionaire drags his destroyed suit around and at the end he gets a surgery so he won’t glow in the dark.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) : hot blondie takes his nerd girlfriend to his planet and Loki dies. But he’s alive somehow. Again.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) : The best MCU movie. Best. Done. No word.

Guardians of The Galaxy (2014) : Everyone makes fun of the main character because of his name. And everyone chases around an ugly ball.

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) : Buzzlighter, old man with Fresbee, Katniss, wannabe Rapunzel, Shrek and Fiona can’t defeat Siri and everyone makes fun of Cap because he doesn’t curse.

Ant-Man (2015) : A criminal becomes friends with ants and fangirls over Falcon.

Captain America: Civil War (2016) : Rich guy with metal suit fights two 95 years old men, one with metal prosthetic arm and another with frisbee.

elrondsscribe  asked:

Hi! I'm a fanfic author working on a LotR Glorfindel-as-an-Avenger crossover, and I was wondering whether a staff, spear, or battleaxe would be the best choice of weapon (of course I know that the way the Avengers fight isn't realistic!). Obviously I can't use a bow, hammer/club, shield, guns, or batons because the other Avengers already use those. I know this is a wacky question, so I understand if there's no good answer.

Actually, there’s a pretty good answer: Glorfindel’s sword, Laure (”Golden Light”) is the weapon he should be wielding. It is his second sword, the first was lost in battle with a Balrog during the First Age, and the weapon he carried when he brought Frodo to Rivendell in The Fellowship of the Ring.

Give him the sword he used when he went toe to toe with the Nazghul.

(I know I just sent some hardcore Tolkienite into a rage there for not including the proper characters on the ‘e’. I’m sorry, all I ask is that we not ask me to figure out how to do it in Tumblr’s askbox. )

It’s important to remember that Tolkien was writing myth when he wrote Lord of the Rings, he believed that all the world’s good literature ended with Beowulf. Tolkien structures his narrative and his characters (yes, all of them) around that style of storytelling. A style more akin to say, Norse Myth than it is to most of what you’ll find in the general fantasy section of your bookstore. For one of the founders of the epic fantasy genre, very few fantasy authors actually write like Tolkien.

When you’re working with any of his characters, it’s important to take that into account. The named weapons, especially the swords, are a huge deal in Western European mythological tradition. The characters themselves are more archetype than individual in the classic sense of characterization, they are intended to be larger than life. (In this way, a Marvel/LoTR crossover is not as odd as it might seem at first glance.) The swords act as symbols, communicating a vast amount of information to the reader about who these characters are supposed to be, how we’re supposed to perceive them, and what their place in the narrative is.

In European myth, the sword itself is not by itself a symbol in the same way that the katana is for the Japanese. Rather, because swords were common, specific swords become a means of denoting importance. The named swords, from the purely legendary ones like Excalibur to the real life swords carried by Kings, Lords, and famous retainers like Charlemagne’s Joyeuse and (the ironically more famous) Durendal (’Endure’) carried by his paladin Roland.

It’s so crazy and important in myth that Beowulf’s sword Hrunting, carried into battle against Grendel’s mother and lent to him by Unferth, gets its own Wikipedia entry.

These swords have their own lineage, history, and stories behind them. How they were gotten. What their names are. Who made them. Who handed them out. What battles they fought in.

“This is my sword.”

Or:

“This is Frost, named by the Seven Singing monks in the valley of the Black Mountain, gifted to my father Omar Strongjaw by King Redovir for his service in the War of Five Blades, and borne into battle against the giant Gorim Longtooth.”

It’s the epic’s way of saying, “Hey, in case you weren’t clear, THIS GUY IS IMPORTANT.”

Tolkien adores this trope, almost every single important character (and probably even the unimportant ones) are going to have a sword or a bow like this, with a name, and the weapon itself has a history equivalent to the one who wields it. Just like Thor’s hammer Mjolnir. And it should be pointed out that the legendary/mythical Thor (not to be confused with Marvel’s Thor) is one of the inspirations for all this in the first place.

Do the elves hold a similar narrative position to Marvel’s Asgardians?

Yes, they do.

Tolkien gave his characters the weapons he did for a reason. Aragorn is the obvious go to with Narsil as the Excalibur stand-in to point out that he will be king, but Legolas’ bow, Frodo/Bilbo’s Sting, and Gimli’s axe are all subtle to not so subtle narrative tells communicating information to the audience about who these characters are.

I mean, honestly, they’re so recognizable as archetypes that we have an entire array of DnD classes based on them.

It’s so specific in its intent that these characters cannot have their weapons switched out without changing the substructure of how we as the audience are supposed to see them as their presentation hinges on a subconscious understanding of how Western European myth functions. They are bound up in their weapons and their weapons are bound up in them.

It’s as signature as a signature weapon gets.

Don’t think about it in terms of effectiveness but rather storytelling significance. If you want to do research outside of Tolkien for your LoTR characters, I recommend the classics and Tolkien’s classics only aka Beowulf, Gilgamesh, Norse Myth, The Welsh Triads (Mabinogion), etc. What he drew from to create his own myth.

Also, trust that Tolkien understood myth and how to draw out those storytelling qualities to create mythological characters within the consciousness of the modern reader better than you or I ever will. He was a Cambridge Professor, myth was both his passion and his job.

Take the opportunity of playing in Tolkien’s playground (especially in adaptation) to get into the nuts and bolts of how he worked. Why his characters worked and why they are so enduring in our consciousness.

If you get stuck, Joseph Campbell (beyond The Hero With A Thousand Faces) might be helpful in unpacking the mythic tropes that Tolkien mastered, what they mean to the human psyche, and why these themes so captivate our imaginations.

And if you ever have any question about what weapon a Tolkien character should wield, always check what their canonical weapon is first. It may be difficult to track down, but that’s what the thousands of Tolkien scholars on the internet are for! The beautiful thing about Tolkien’s popularity is that if you don’t know, someone else probably does and will expound upon it at length, in great detail, until all you want is for them to go away.

Happy writing!

-Michi

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anonymous asked:

Hi Jen, do you recommended any Overwatch characters for players that don't aim very well (like me)?

JUNKRAT

HOLYSHIT JUST AIM IN PEOPLES GENERAL DIRECTION AND YOU GET KILLS!! HERES A VIDEO ON HIS GLORY

Reinhardt is also good! just swing his hammer and shield your allies. tho at some points he can be a bit boring to play but hes still good

Symmetra and Winston literally require NO aiming, their weapons just latch on to whoever is in front of you

D.VA and reaper have just huge shotgun hit boxes so you dont really have to aim with them either

if you want to heal then go Lucio! i just jump around and hope my little three shots hit someone (i tend to get headshots oddly enough)

but yeah i find these characters the best to play with because i too cant aim lol

Captain America's shield is great. Ironman's armor is awesome. Thor's hammer is amazing. But the most pimp thing in the entire MARVEL Studios universe... Doctor Strange's cape

I want a Cloak of Levitation

You’re Welcome (A Reinhardt Story)

Written by @korr-a-sami 

Inspired by and set to the tune of “You’re Welcome” - Moana



Okay, okay I see what’s happening, yeah 

You’re face-to-face with greatness and it’s strange 

You don’t even know how you feel, it’s adorable! 

Well it’s nice to see that Healers never change 

Open your eyes, let’s begin 

Yes it’s really me, it’s Reinhardt! Breathe it in 

I know it’s a lot, the hammer, the shield 

When you’re staring as I take the field 

What can I say except “You’re welcome" 

For the blocks, the charge, the battle cry 

Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re welcome 

I’m just an ordinary tank-guy! 


Hey, what has two thumbs and blasted Pharah from the sky? 

When you were waddling yay high? This guy!

When the Eco point was cold, who’s hammer shot fire from down below? 

You’re looking at him, yo! 

Oh, also I pinned down that Mei 

You’re welcome 

To conquest the point while you respawned away 

Also, I charged that Dva Ult out

You’re welcome 

To save you from a POTG no doubt 

So what can I say except you’re welcome? 

For the shields That you all see 

There’s no need to pray, it’s okay, you’re welcome 

I guess it’s just my way of being me 

You’re welcome, you’re welcome 


Well, come to think of it 

 Kid, honestly I can go on and on I can explain every tanking phenomenon 

The rockets, the bullets, the riptire ruts? 

Oh, that was Reinhardt just saving your butts

I killed a Soldier, I crushed a sombra 

Pinned down a genji, no contesting point brah 

What’s the lesson? What is the takeaway? Don’t mess with Reinhard on a nano boost breakaway 

And the Armor here on my skin

Is a map of the victories I win 

Look at the dents, I make everything happen 

Look at that Ripped little Rein just tippity tappin' 

Well anyway, let me say you’re welcome! 

For the wonderful tank that protects you all 

Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re welcome! 

Well, come to think of it, Shields going down yall 

Hey, it’s your day to say you’re welcome! 

‘Cause I’m gonna need all your healing balls 

I’m charging away, away, you’re welcome! 

Now the whole enemys got me trapped against this wall 

You’re welcome, you’re welcome! 

And thank you!

Okay, so we all know Bucky’s gonna kick Steve’s ass because “i SAID don’t do anything stupid until i come back jesus fucking christ rogers”

But that’ll be nothing compared to when Bucky sees how Steve traditionally fights now.

“Why the hell would you want to spin around in fights like a damn ballerina?”
"It looks cool, ok?”
“America’s greatest patriot, the symbol of our nation-”
“Buck-”
“-is actually a fancy fucking rotisserie chicken.”

“I must have heard wrong. You and Thor don’t really use his hammer and your shield in battle, right? RIGHT?”
“Dammit, Natasha.”
“YOU ARE LITERALLY HOLDING FOUR INCHES OF VIBRANIUM AGAINST FUCKING BOLTS OF LIGHTNING DID YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION IN SCIENCE CLASS OR WHAT GOOD CHRIST THIS KID’S GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME”

“You…tried to knock down all of the HYRDA agents by throwing yourself into their arms.”
“Shut up, Barnes.”
“Never thought you as the damsel in distress type, Stevie.”

”You little shit, you thought you were gonna be let off the hook for throwing your motorcycle at a tank? Just ‘cause I wasn’t in Sokovia?”
“Look, it seemed like the best idea at the time.”
“Just keep telling that to your five bikes smashed up across in Europe from the war, punk.“

Fantasy Sentence Starters - Warrior Edition

“OW! Hit me a bit harder with that sword why don’t you?!”
“Armor just means you can’t cut my arm off, not that it doesn’t hurt.”
“That is a nice cuirass.”
“I could only find one of my greaves today.”
“I’ve got a nick in my blade.”
“Warhammer or greatsword? The struggle is real.”
“Who taught you how to parry?!”
“Lunge! I said lunge!”
“A shield is for more than blocking.”
“Alright, let’s run through those steps again.”
“It takes years to master the moves completely.”
“Have you ever thought of using two swords instead?”
“Spears. That’s what we really need.”
“Back to the practice yard, and don’t come back until you’ve beaten him.”
“Block! Block - ! Nevermind.”
“If you’re scared, they’ll see it. Stand your ground.”
“Hit it harder then.”
“I can’t see through this helmet.”
“He’s only dangerous if you let him stay at range.”
“You’re bigger than he is, and heavier, and you have a giant sword. Stop being a coward.”
“There’s a mage back there who is desperately hoping you don’t let that one through.”
“Welcome to the front line.”

I think my favorite part of Overwatch lore is that the German military’s solution to combat in the future was to stick giant dudes in bigger suits that can launch them forward real fast so they can beat the shit out of things with an equally huge hammer. There’s also a forcefield shield which is about the only thing you’d think people would logically come up with so at least theres that. Just bless. You do you Germany. Send them in.