the seven fat years are over

earlier today i saw a few articles on shindong on allkpop/koreaboo, and it made me so happy to see that. but the excitement was ruined when half the comments on each article are about how shindong “disrespects women”, “fat shames” and is a “misogynistic pig”…

like, yeah i get that what he said was sexist and hypocritical, but he’d already apologized for it after the intense backlash he got, not to mention that this issue was SEVEN YEARS AGO. everyone is so ready to hate on him that they ignore the fact that he’s apologized and hasn’t made a single comment of the sort since his mistake, choosing to repeatedly bring this one mistake up and crucify him over it.

on all three articles i typed comments to explain why people really should let it go, but it feels like people are never going to let this go. is it because he’s a fat idol? is it because he’s a super junior member? or is it because they just don’t want to accept that he’s apologized and want to continue hating on him with any excuse they can pull?

at the time he definitely deserved the criticism and callouts, but not anymore. if other idols’ offensive comments and mistakes can be forgiven after they’ve apologized and it’s been years since their last mistake, why isn’t that the same case for shindong? literally what excuse do any haters have that explain why shindong doesn’t deserve a second chance, but everyone else who made similar - or even worse - mistakes do?

i’m so mad and upset that people can be this petty. no one should be defined by their mistakes, and this case should apply to everyone. if other people can be given second chances, then shindong should be given one too. why can’t people just leave super junior members alone?

To be honest I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while but have been having a lot of anxiety about it because I expect there to be a lot of negative response. But after seeing a prominent vegan figure tell other vegans that if they are fat they don’t love themselves I knew I needed to force myself to put this out. Veganism is not a diet, it is an ethical stance against exploiting animals. I think it is very important to promote the health benefits of a plant-based diet but when we promote veganism as a guaranteed weight loss plan and then it doesn’t work for someone, they decide to go back to eating animals. We have failed the individuals that we are working so hard to save. As a vegan of over seven years who has dedicated my life to helping animals, I can tell you that fatphobia runs rampant in our community. It doesn’t help humans and it doesn’t help the animals. So this button is for all of my fellow fat vegans who have been relegated to the back lines of the movement, told that they don’t love themselves, that they aren’t a good representation of veganism or that they won’t be able to help animals until they become the perfect picture of health. I love you all, you are beautiful and I hope we can keep fighting for the animals together.  

‘’fall seven times, stand up eight’’

It’s been such an emotional roller coaster these past years. 4 years to be exact. From an awkward chubby-girl, to self hating, starving myself-girl, (1st pic) to completely broken recovering from eating disorder, (2nd-3rd pic) to fighting my demons - to becoming the strongest, (4th pic) happiest, self loving version of myself. (5th-6th pic) 

Mind over matter. You can do, become everything you set ur mind to.

(ig for insta worthy moments of my life and confidence outbursts aka selfies: laurenvonschmidt )


Blind To Faith | Feast Upon

Rot beneath the soil of what once was!

part 10/10 - all the time in the world

for @fujoshifridays - my dear friend and biggest supporter, who has always made me happy enough to write this kind of fluff. 

[ departure - sonder ] 

[ skinny love - bon iver ]

Zhengxi and Jian Yi sat on their couch.

Jian Yi’s head was on Zhengxi’s shoulder, and their fat cat slept on his lap.

Lin had send them the set of photographs she’d take of them so many years ago.

Seven years after the fact, she’d submitted them to a local contest, and won quite a bit of money.

She’d mailed them a check for a few hundred dollars and a beautiful photo album with all the pictures she’d taken of them, not just the ones from the shoot, but all the ones she’d taken of them over the years.

She’d said she missed them and should be back in town in a few months, hoping they could make plans to meet up.

They smiled at the memory of the two weeks that made their life what it is today.

‘I’ll never forget the first time you kissed me.’

Jian Yi whispered, leaning in to nuzzle his neck.

‘And now you never have to.’

Dumpling, named in the honor of Jian Yi’s fish that had lived much longer than you’re average beta fish, jumped off the couch, disgruntled, offended by the disruption of his comfort.

The photo album slid to the floor, opened on the picture of the first time Zhengxi had pulled him in for a kiss.

‘I love you, Jian Yi.’

‘I love you more, Zhengxi.’

They made love on the couch, as they’d done so many times before.

They’d look at the rest of the pictures later.

They had all the time in the world.


Thank you all so much for your support and patience with me on this story! I love you all so much!

No one asked for it, but here’s my face.

My family calls me ugly and fat and at first I tried to stay strong, but after about seven years of the emotional abuse, I’ve started to believe it even more than they did.

I avoid mirrors, cameras, and even sometimes will refuse to leave the house because I hate what I look like in most of my clothes.

I’m about fifty - sixty pounds over the weight I should be at this age and height. And I hate it. I hate everything about it.

My brothers won’t stop joking about me, asking if I’m “eating for two”, and all of that bullshit. My dad keeps joking about how I’m the potbelly pig of the family. Every time I mention wanting to lose weight they just laugh and insult me.

And I’m tired of feeling this way. After this school semester, for my new year’s resolution, I’m going to start working on my weight.

If I have any followers/mutuals who are thinking of doing the same for the new year, just know that I’ll be right there with ya. We can get through this.

Wish me luck.