This was requested. "I’m just scared you’re going to get tired of me.“
Chris didn’t notice it at first, he didn’t notice how after lazy and romantic (Yes, Christoffer Schistad was a romantic, who would’ve thought) getaway in his parents cabin, where they did everything from playing boardgames, and cooking pancakes in the mornings to lazy morning sex and hot shower sex, good thing that there weren’t any other cabins close by because Eva was so loud, that people might think that she was being attacked, Well, she was, by Chris’s lips on her lips and everywhere else, there wasn’t an inch of Eva’s skin that he hadn’t kissed. Every night he showed how much she worshiped her, Chris had always been selfish in bed, but with Eva it was different, he put her needs before his, he loved pleasing her first, making her moan his name, it made every neuron in his body electric.
What he noticed after that weekend was that after they spent it together, Eva made and effort to stay away from him. She didn’t ignore his texts, she answered them, but her answers were short and abprut, she didn’t vent to him about, how her Spanish teacher hates her or how tired she was of Vilde and Sana bickering, and if he called her after a few minutes she made and excuse to end the call. And when he noticed that, Chris also noticed , how she did that every time after they spent a night (and a morning) together. She never distanced herself after they hung out watching movies and doing other things that couples do, there was obviously kissing involved, but they didn’t have sex. So, after another few days of Eva reluctantly answering his texts after the night they shared together, Chris was on her porch and ringing her doorbell. It was an early Saturday morning, surely she would be home. After a couple of seconds he heard footsteps and then Eva opened the door, she was make-up free, her hair was messy and she was wearing one of his shirt’s, that he left at her place some time ago, she was so fucking beautiful that he didn’t notice, that he hadn’t even said anything until Eva cleared her throat.
He nervously ran a hand through his hair, God,why was he nervous? She was his girlfriend for Christ’s sake! He cleared his throat and gave her a rueful grin, “Are we going to talk here, or you’re going to invite me in?”
He could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to invite him, but she stepped back and let him in. They came into the living room and Eva sat as far from his as possible. Both of them were silent. It felt so awkward, things were never awkward between them, even before they got together there was teasing, arguing, but it was never awkward. He felt like he was suffocating from the silence, so he decided to speak up, “You’ve been avoiding me?”
“No, I haven’t,” Eva said, crossing hands in front of her chest, she was getting defensive, so it clearly wasn’t all in his head.
“Yes, you have. Question is, why? I mean, thing have been so good between us… perfect even. We’ve been together for almost five months, I told you that I loved you , it was hard to say it,since I’ve never said it to any girl, ever, but I did and I never looked back. But every single time that we spend the night together, you go out of your way to avoid me. Please, just tell me what’s going on?” He felt his voice cracking, his love for Eva was the most real and pure thing that he had ever felt in a long time and he was so scared to lose her, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he did. ‘
“I…I’m just scared you’re going to get tired of me,” he heard her whisper, she wasn’t looking at him, her hands were nervously picking at the hem of the T-Shirt.
“You’re kidding, right? Why would I get tired of you?” He asked, genuinely surprised. Eva was by far one of the funniest, kindest, smartest girls he knew (Noora was close second) and if one of the should feel insecure in their relationship, it was him.
“Look, you’ve been with a lot of girls, who are a lot more experienced than me, lot more beautiful, so…”
“So, what?"he asked taking his hands in hers,"Eva, I love you, I am dating you, I want to be with you. I don’t remember any of the girls that I’ve been with and even if I did, they are nothing compared to you, you are by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me,” he said, and before she could say anything, he kissed her so urgently yet softly, he poured all of the love into that kiss, hoping that she would understand that she was the only one he wanted to kiss, the only one he could see himself kissing months, even years from today.
He felt Eva relax and she leaned into him, but few seconds later, she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes, she quickly wiped them off and stood up.
“This is really hard… and maybe I just need some time,” she said, her voice breaking, Chris felt his heart break as well.
“What are you saying?"Chris asked, his voice quiet.
"When I am with you… it consumes me, because I love you so much, but can’t help this feeling of insecurity,” two more tears slid down her cheeks,“ I want to be with you, I do…”
“But people look at me and see me as one of your many girls,” she said, not making an eye contact with him” and it makes me wonder, how long will it take for you to get tired of me.“
“You’re not one of my many girls, you are the girl that I love and I am the guy that’s gonna love you forever,” he said, and quickly made his way to Eva, pulling her to his chest and kissing her forehead.
“How can you be so sure?” she asked quietly.
“Because I’ve never been sure of anything before, until now.”