the science of destruction

Slow Mo Guys FAHC Origins

It began with one question.

Hey Dan?

Yeah Gav?

Ever wanted to know just how slow human reflexes are?

The two have always been inseparable. Following each other’s ideas through thick and thin. So when Gavin had the idea of filming slow motion cinematography Dan was right there with him. They filmed the silliest ideas-how would your face look like in slow mo if I hit it Dan, come on, let me test it out, for the video b! They did old science experiments and human movements. Then, they dealt with destruction-it was the most fun to record, seeing the glass shatter and explosions flare out, the colors of red, orange, grey, black circle through the sky above. They got more adventurous.

How would a shotgun look like in slow mo Dan?

Well let’s find out yeah?

Soon enough they were using various guns, makeshift or otherwise, in their shots. And they were entranced. The way a gun really functions had Dan fixated and searching for more to test out. The smoke and deep sounds of a bullet firing kept Gavin on his toes, begging for more. Bangers, fires, sledgehammers became a part of their lives. They loved every bit of it.

Eventually, Dan got into the military. He left Gavin on his own from time to time, but whenever they had time together, they filmed. They filmed and got more enthusiastic. Dan got access to more ammunition for them to test, got skills to perform more stunts. And Gavin loved it, he loved seeing Dan excited for his sake. They enjoyed this newfound hobby.

When Dan’s away, Gavin decides to gain a new hobby. He’s always been pretty smart, though he sure doesn’t act like he is from time to time. He worked on computer codes, and he was good. Eventually it turned to reprogramming. Finally, it became hacking, it was immersive to him. He loved this too, wanted to do something with this in his life.

He did small things, not too noticeable, messing with cameras in his area, seeing just what he could do. He felt amazing, like a spy film, he’s always thought they were amazing, he’d be a spy if he could.

Dan trained hard in the military. Ever since he was a child did he want to do something good for the country. Now he was finally there. Eventually, though, he started to feel something else. He wanted more, but of what? Freedom. Attack. Destruction. He collected arsenal, for Gavin to film but also for himself. He wanted them, needed them. He left the military more and more then, rather doing his own thing with them than with the army he’s in.

Gavin saw this, spark, in Dan’s eyes when handling his collection. And Gavin, oh god did he love it. He too wanted to do more than these slow motion videos with his life. He wanted to be adventurous once more.


Yeah, b?

Let’s do something absolutely mental.

Like what?

…I dunno. But it will be the best thing we will ever do.

..I’ve got an idea.


Oh yeah.

Their first crime was definitely something. Gas masks on and lab coats swaying in the breeze they took down an entire convenience store with just their adrenaline and a pair of assault rifles. And they continued. Each time more spectacular than the last. They gained popularity in the streets of the UK, they were the Slow Mo Guys. Whether it was simple pistols to flamethrowers and grenade launchers, they created havoc and the two were unstoppable.


Yeah b?

Why are we still here?

The two had always dreamed of making it big in America. And though they got big in a much different way than they expected, that was still their goal.

Y'know why Gav. I’m still in the military. Have to be, plus it’s our source of ammunition. But I promise we will go. Soon.

In the meantime, the Slow Mo Guys held the UK in their hands, bending them at their will. And when Dan was gone, Gavin did his own thing, unlocking Intel on some of the most powerful people in the world. Soon enough, he got recognized for this talent, in America. A man named Burns contacted him for help, offered him jobs. And he took them, he only needed to get info and check cameras so he could stay home.

Then, he got a call for an offer unlike the others. A man was starting his own crew, and had heard of him. But, he also mentioned Dan, though not by his name.

The Slow Mo Guys - that’s your name right? - have gotten pretty well known. Hell, I’ve seen shit on your crew on TV, and I live in Los Santos! Y'know where that is? West coast baby. And I want all y'all in my crew, the Fakes. Think about it, and you can contact me with your answer. This is the offer of a lifetime. Just ask Burns for Ramsey and he’ll connect you with me.

Gavin couldn’t even talk with the man’s speech and the sudden end of the call. He processed the information and couldn’t handle his enthusiasm. He was finally going to America, with a job, a plan, and Dan will be right there with him. He’d tell him when he came back.

Dan, I’ve got the best news!

You finally got some?


Sorry sorry, what is it b?

We got a job offer in America. A crew wants to hire us full time! We can live our dream.

Gavin described the conversation with Ramsey in full detail, how they were famous in America just as much as in England. How they’d be set for life with money, a place to stay, and safety and protection. The both were set on this offer, until one small problem crept back to them.


Yeah Dan?

I-I can’t go.

What? Why not Dan?

I can’t leave yet b. I still got half a year in the military, I’m sorry.

I can fix this, get Ramsey to wait till we can both go together!


I’ll figure it out, maybe he’ll be alright with it!


We can both go, if he wants us he’ll be willing to wait!


Gavin, go.


Go to America without me, it’ll be fine.

But Dan! You’re my b, I can’t leave you.

Who said anything about leaving me? Like he said its an offer of a lifetime. I’ll figure out a way to get there after I get out. But you deserve this. Don’t let me hold you back. You were always the brains of this operation.


Just do this for me, make sure I got a spot reserved with them.

OK Dan.

Gavin called Burns and contacted Ramsey.

See you made the right choice! When you wanna get here?

Gavin flew to Los Santos within a week. Dan had already gone back to his squad so he couldn’t see him go, but he made sure to beforehand. When the plane landed, he was met by Burns-just call me Burnie, really it’s fine-and he took him to his office. There, two people waited for him. A man in a suit, his hair disheveled but kept nice, and a lazy smile set on his face. The woman next to him was completely opposite to him, sporting a tacky Hawaiian shirt and blue striped shorts, her face soft and kind. The man came up and held out his hand.

The names Geoff. Geoff Ramsey. This is Jack. Welcome to the crew.

I’m Gavin. Gavin Free. Wonderful to be here.

It began with one question.

Hey Gav?

Yeah Dan?

See you soon, b.

Can’t wait. They’ll love you.

“Only within the 20th Century has biological thought been focused on ecology, or the relation of the living creature to its environment. Awareness of ecological relationships is — or should be — the basis of modern conservation programs, for it is useless to attempt to preserve a living species unless the kind of land or water it requires is also preserved. So delicately interwoven are the relationships that when we disturb one thread of the community fabric we alter it all — perhaps almost imperceptibly, perhaps so drastically that destruction follows.“

Essay on the Biological Sciences, in: Good Reading (1958)”
― Rachel Carson

illusivexemissary  asked:

🍳 like how could i not lol

send 🍳 for my muse to make
breakfast for your muse!
( accepting! )

             IT ISN’T MUCH. it’s just toast with almond butter, honey, and bananas. but she places the plate of thick, brown bread with these toppings in front of him, along with a mug of coffee, cream and sugar and all. she’s already dressed, having left the house once already despite the early hour, and she’s as lovely and sleek as ever, bustling about the kitchen fussing over various things. at the moment, she’s not really engaged in a conversation with her husband so much as she’s just…talking at him. it’s her father’s fault, really. every morning as a teenager was like this, where kozmotis voiced the day’s itinerary like a true military man while sleepy seraphina was about to let her face fall into her breakfast.

                ‘ right, meeko’s got orla and she’s already off to visit koschei on campus. she should be there within an hour or so, i told her to call you when she gets off the train. i’m going to drop off the kids at mary’s, and then i just have to stop by –

                remiel chirps a light-hearted interruption, holding up her piece of toast in triumphant, chubby little hands, ‘mama, i’m eating what daddy’s eating! look! mama, look! we’re the same!’

                ‘ yes you are eating what daddy’s eating! you’re a big girl, that’s why!… she coos back, cuddling up her baby girl and patting her little tummy. under her breath, she continues. that and mama is an absolute failure at making anything else.

                what she fails to acknowledge is that she might not be the best cook in the house by any means, she’s gotten very good at making very simple things taste like heaven. it hardly involves any cooking, this breakfast, but it does involve thought and love and care, which are things seraphina can do. she knows her husband likes extra honey. she knows rhamiel likes the toast to be extra thick, and remiel likes extra almond butter, just like sera. every single person in this household, seraphina can remember their specific quirks about every little thing, and sometimes, that’s just enough to make a dish gourmet.

                  ‘ ehm…what was i saying…oh, yeah, so i’ve to just stop work for a bit to make sure all the handshaking is done with the swiss, then i’ll come meet you at the shop for the walkthrough with the contractor at 10:30, yeah? when we’re done we can figure out lunch and all that. force my dad to stop going in to work on a saturday like a fu–uh-udging madman.

                   seraphina never chatters like this. days spent alone in a large empty house, nights spent alone in a large empty science facility, alone, alone — so much space, and yet she drew herself into a painful coil, hardly moving and hardly speaking. but now her large empty house is filled to the brim, with babies, with warmth, with the benign chaos of family, with not being alone. and with a house bursting at the seams, she has uncoiled the frigidness of her ribcage to let her soul bloom. it was always there, that radiant blossom. it’s just been beaten into submission for so many years with agonies of the most acute sort. and they hadn’t STOPPED until now.

                                                 ( until him. )

                  ‘ right, let’s go little birds, up ye get!…you get to spend the morning with auntie mary, are you excited?…ah-ah, no, we don’t bring food into mama’s car…RHAMIEL– ! aheh, that doesn’t mean shove it all in your mouth in one go, oh bun…!

                 ‘ okay. text me if you need anything. she’s crouching over him once more, and she presses a long, lingering kiss to the golden curls of his hair. she smells of perfume and babies. she murmurs, love you, drive safe when you go.

Frank R. Paul cover art for Air Wonder Stories, 1929.

On the cover this month is illustrated the story ‘The Silent Destroyer,’ by Henrik Dahl Juve. Here we see graphically what the atomic rays from the Occidenta destroyer do to the Orienta flyer. The enemy ship is cut in twain from one end to the other as a knife cuts through butter. A passing sweep cuts off the tail piece and the enemy ship is hurled earthward  to destruction. It demonstrates the tremendous power of atomic rays once they have been developed, as they surely will.

I feel like not enough people openly admit how boring science can be on a day to day basis. Like, I just spent days fiddling with Matlab; writing up scripts and functions that can properly index and sort thorugh this giant data set we have on our hands. This was followed by days of debugging everything because I’m literally learning Matlab on the fly and so I obviously have no clue what I’m doing and will be followed by months of analyzing said data after reading a sufficiently long list of papers. 

Collecting the data was fun. Building the instrument was fun (most of the time). This…this is not as much fun. 

Yes, I love science. Yes, I chose it as my career. And yes, I love what I do (most of the time). But sometimes it just tedious. 


Stephen Hawking says the Earth is pretty much screwed

Stephen Hawking, one of the world’s most renowned theoretical physicists has said that the likelihood of Earth facing a man-made disaster was a “near certainty” within the next thousand to ten thousand years.

Don’t give up all hope, he went on to say the human race will likely live on — but we need to be extra careful in the next few hundred years.

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