the santa clause

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

Dating Bernard and Being Scott’s Daughter would include...

Originally posted by imjustanelf

Bernard x Reader

Dating Bernard and Being Scott’s Daughter would include…

-Bernard knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that dating you was Not An Option. At all.

-You were Santa’s daughter and he was Santa’s head elf. That sort of thing was frowned upon, to say the least.  

-But he couldn’t help noticing the way your eyes tended to linger on him whenever you were at the North Pole.

-He also noticed the way his heart leaped at the sight of you.

-No. He couldn’t have these thoughts about you. He couldn’t.

-And so when Christmas came around, the elves had their celebratory party the day after.

-Somehow, an invitation had wound up on your desk.

-You thought it was a mistake, but it was addressed to you, scrawled in handwriting you could swear was familiar.

-Your mother had taught you how to knit, and so, before the party, you whipped up a sweater.

-You made your way down to the party wearing a simple red dress.

-The moment you walked down the stairs it was like time stopped

-He swallowed thickly and watched, eyelashes fluttering.

-“H-holy night…”

-You would walk right over to him, smiling a smile that made the tips of his pointy ears go red.

-“Merry Christmas, Bernard.”

-“M-merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

-And you would hand him the box and his heart would just about leap out of his chest

-You actually got him a present.

-I mean, of course, he had gotten you something in the hopes you would show up, but you had gotten him something too.

-He loved the sweater.

-It was red and green and said ‘World’s Best Elf’ in big white letters.

-He got all giddy just thinking about the fact that he was your favorite elf.

-Or, as you had declared, the best elf in the world.

-‘Eat your heart out, Legolas’

-Bernard had spent basically all of his free time (which wasn’t very much time, to begin with) making his present for you.

-It was a really ornate beaded necklace

-You asked him to help you put it on, and he gladly obliged, asking you to pull your hair out of the way.

-When you turned around to face him, there was this warm look in your eyes

-And then your hand was against his cheek and he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close.

-And the two of you blame it on the mistletoe.

-But it was the best kiss you had ever had.

-For the next week and a half, neither of you mentioned the kiss, but he brought you cocoa every morning and went to your room to say goodnight every single night.

-You can’t help but feel fuzzy every time you think about him

-You smile every time you cross paths, nodding and offering a casual somewhat sarcastic salute.

-He resists every urge to kiss your cheek on his way by.

-One kiss was great, but if you two get together, Santa will find out.

-You can’t imagine he’d be happy about it.

-After all, you’re his only daughter and Bernard is like…hundreds of years old.

-But to be fair, the two of you are pretty much the only two teenagers in the entire North Pole

-It was really only a matter of time.

-So a few weeks later, when Bernard stops in for his nightly visit and you just grab him by the face and kiss him

-And he doesn’t resist, his hands finding a comfortable spot on your lower back.

-When you pull apart, you stand there with his arms around you and his forehead resting against yours.

-It’s warm and nice and you can feel your heart racing in your chest.

-But you both realize that you have a very big problem on your hands.

-Bernard is in love with Santa’s daughter and you are in love with the head elf.

-At first, the routine doesn’t change.

-He still brings cocoa to your station every morning and still says goodnight, but now he smooches you before bed.

-He calls you ‘Sugar Cookie’ or ‘Sugarplum’

-You take to calling him ‘Legolas’ and ‘Buddy’

-He thinks it’s cute

-Every time he passes you, he makes a habit of sneaking a kiss on the cheek.

-And then Santa catches it one day and asks you about it at supper.

-You admit everything then and there, your face all red.

-He just kind of smiles and shrugs and laughs

-“Well, I think we all knew that was coming.”

-The two of you start cuddling by the fire, his hands fiddling with yours.

-And it’s so warm and comfortable and you rest your head on his shoulder.

-And he knows that in his long, long life, he’s been waiting all along for you.

All I Want for Christmas

Bernard x Reader

All I Want for Christmas

Note: I was having some feels….

Warnings: None??

Word Count: 960

Originally posted by amythegloriouspond

Being Santa’s daughter was not always easy. You were kind of homesick for the North Pole, as you had been away at college for the first semester of the school year. You had been messaging Bernard a little here and there, but somehow, that had only made the feeling worse. Yes, you loved college, but it hurt to have your best friend so far away.

(Y/N): I miss youuuuuu. I can’t wait to come home.

Bernard: You’re coming home for Christmas?


Bernard: Haha kidding. Do you know who’s coming to pick you up yet?

(Y/N): I think Mom is

Bernard: Ah. Figures. Your dad is too busy probably. I mean, your mom is busy too, but your father is Santa Claus, so…

(Y/N): Yeah…

(Y/N): So

(Y/N): I’m gonna sleep, but I’ll see you tomorrow.

Bernard: Can’t wait.

The dark-haired elf logged off of his computer and walked over to his bed. From his spot, he admired the shiny present sitting on his desk, waiting for you. He couldn’t wait to see you again. And maybe…if he didn’t have too terribly much to do tomorrow…


You stood in the designated meeting spot wrapped up in your jacket, sweater, scarf, hat, and gloves. Any second now, the sleigh would touch down and you would be a few short minutes away from home. And then, like a guardian angel, the giant red sleigh landed in the snow. Inside it, however, was not your mother, but a welcome face.

“Bernard? What are you doing here?” You ran into his arms, a smile plastered on your face as he embraced you, spinning you around. He was thrilled to see you again after so long. Your cheeks were rosy from the cold, and there were snowflakes in your hair, but to him, you had never looked more beautiful.

“Thought I’d come pick you up,” he shrugged, trying to seem casual about something that had taken hours of overtime to pull off.

“Well thank you very much.” You poked him in the nose, and maybe it was just the cold, but you could have sworn his cheeks flushed scarlet. “You’re like my elf in shining armor.”

“I guess you could say that.” Your faces were so close now. And you were both just sort of standing there smiling softly. You could almost…

“We should probably get home before some drunk frat boy tries to steal one of the reindeer.” You looked at the tiny herd hooked up to the bright red monstrosity your father flew all over the globe.

“You’re right.” He stepped back up into the sleigh and offered his hand, helping you into it. Then, after you got settled, it took off.


There was no scent on earth that compared to the North Pole’s kitchen when there were cookies in the oven. You were currently sitting up on the counter at some ungodly hour, jetlagged beyond belief, and listening to some Christmas tunes. It was all that seemed to be playing up here anyway.

You didn’t realize how much you had missed this place until you were finally up here again. The oven beeped, so you hopped off of the counter and tugged on your oven mitts. They looked perfect, the chocolate chips just melty enough.

“Little late night baking?” Bernard wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

“Well excuse me, Mr. Head Elf.” You shot him a playful grin. “This is the only time the kitchen isn’t occupied.”

“I think I’ll allow it.” he winked, sending your heart into a frenzy. “Chocolate chip?”

“Mmhmm.” You peeled off the oven mitts and turned to face him. “Want one? The plate over there is cooled off.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” He grabbed a cookie and took a bite, smiling. He sure did miss your baking in your absence. “Wow, they’re almost as sweet as you.”

“Hmm, I’ll have to add more sugar next time.” You scrunched up your face and then poked him on the nose. “Or maybe I’ll bake a cheesecake next time so it can be as cheesy as you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” For the second time since the two of you had reunited, you realized how close he was. How easy it would be to just lean forward and…

“I missed you a lot.” You settled, looking up at him. Bernard was certainly the tallest of the elves. Something you didn’t mind in the slightest.

“College must be pretty exciting.”

“Yeah, but it’s too…Normal. I like the North Pole. I like the elves and the constant caroling and the toy building.”

“But the Head Elf is your favorite, right?” He teased.

“Definitely.” You smiled at him warmly.

He reached out and took your hand, a bold move that made every cell in your body buzz with excitement. You couldn’t take it anymore. You grabbed him by the collar of his sweater and pulled him in for a heated kiss. One that had been building for so long you never thought it would be possible.

And he enjoyed it just as much as you did, kissing you back gingerly, his hands raising to cup your cheeks. When the two of you pulled away, hearts racing, you looked up at him uncertainly. This was new.

“Woah,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize you…felt that way…”

“I do. I have. Since high school…” You waited for what he would say next, a lump settling in your throat. But all of your nerves stepped aside when he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I wish you would have told me that sooner.” He chuckled.

“So do I.”