the sandy hook shooting

I gotta say a thing about this because it makes me so fucking angry that this sack of shit is allowed in the White House. (Infowars, not senator Murphy. He’s my senator and he’s doing awesome)

I worked with a woman whose child was in that first grade classroom that got massacred in the Sandy Hook shooting. We were all glued to the news all day and were hardly working because we all knew her kid was there and half the reports coming out of the whole thing were contradictory. She dropped everything and left to get to the school to pick him up when she heard.

She waited there most of the day. We waited in the office. One of the other ladies had her cell number and they were texting back and forth; everyone came to her to check in periodically to see what was happening. All she knew was that kids were slowly filtering back to their parents.

But she kept waiting. More children were reunited with parents. We finally heard that there was one classroom in particular that had been massacred. We also heard that some children made it to someone’s house nearby (which did happen). As the hours ticked by, the options dwindled and we realized that he was probably in that classroom and was gone, but held out a little hope that he’d made it to that house.

It wasn’t until after 5 pm, when I was on my way to run tech for a dance recital’s dress rehearsal, that we got confirmation that her son was killed. I sat in the back of the theater, watching other little kids his age practice their dancing, and cried.

They kept his funeral for family only but most of the office turned out for his wake. Surprisingly, it was open casket. He hadn’t been shot in the face or head. Have you ever seen a casket for a child? It’s fucking tiny. And they’d lined it with his favorite toys. Every single person in the room was either in shock and showing it or outright crying.

The woman never came back to work. She threw herself into advocacy work instead.

And these fucking people, infowars, have posted shit accusing the whole thing of being a hoax or set up or what the fuck ever. And people BELIEVE THAT SHIT. AND NOW THEY’RE GIVEN LEGITIMACY BY BEING ALLOWED IN THE WHITE HOUSE AS IF THEY WRITE ANYTHING REMOTELY JOURNALISTIC.

I’m infuriated. So fucking infuriated.

Anyone who believes that the terror and grief and horror of that day was fake needs to go die in a ditch. Those children died, killed in cold blood. My coworker’s child was killed in cold blood. I went to the wake of a 6-year-old boy; one of 20 others all taking place at once. Those families deserve better than this set of fucking nutjobs sending them death threats and trying to delegitimize their grief.

And now they get a louder voice.

Fuck them, and fuck anyone who believes their bullshit. And fuck trump for giving them attention.

I keep seeing that post where the Westboro Baptist Church is holding anti-Trump signs and people are like “Hey something I agree with them on, not bad” or whatever. And let me just remind you that these people literally hate everyone and absolutely HATE the LGBTQ community, Jews, Muslims, women, etc. they’re racist and hateful and this is not the fucking time to act like they might be okay guys JUST because they spoke out against Trump. 

And let me fucking tell you, they aren’t speaking out against Trump for the same reasons that you hate Trump. They don’t give a shit what he says or does to minority groups, they don’t care about all the horrible shit he’s planning to do. They literally do not support any leader but their God and they think Trump is evil because he has been divorced and remarried - two things they view as sinful. Like, they don’t give a shit about you and they’re just as evil as ever. Don’t start humanizing the fucks that protested the funerals of the Pulse shooting victims, the Sandy Hook victims, and the Charleston shooting victims with their “God Sent the Shooter,” bullshit. 

School/University Shooter Voices
School/University Shooter Voices

Audio recordings of various school or university shooters. Note: Elliot Rodger isn’t necessarily a school/university shooter, as his attack was only on the campus, and three of his victims were stabbed to death, not shot.  Still fits into the theme, in my opinion.

In chronological order: Kip Kinkel (1998) - Dylan Klebold (†1999) - Eric Harris (†1999) - Seung-hui Cho (†2007) - Pekka-Eric Auvinen (†2007) - TJ Lane (2012) - Adam Lanza (†2012) - Elliot Rodger (†2014) - Dylann Roof (2015)

Obama sits alone in a classroom rewriting his remarks before speaking at the memorial service for victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. Taken 2 days after the shooting on Dec. 12, 2012.

Some new info on Sandy Hook lads

So the FBI just released 1,500 pages of documents on Sandy Hook. They mostly consist of documents on Adam Lanza’s life prior to Sandy Hook. I’m not sure what’s already known about the case I’m just gonna put it all here.

The information consists of school information and medical records. There are also accounts of the websites he frequented. He had been taking some online language and college courses and also sold National Rifle Association safety qualifications after visiting shooting ranges with his mother, who had been described as a “gun nut.” Some blame her for her son’s mental health and for having weapons in the house at the time.

Above: An image believed to be Lanza as child

In addition to these, there are also records of his relationship with his mother as he only communicated with his mother via email as he does not leave his room for three months prior to the shooting, some neighbours even said they had not seen him in years. In these three months, he did very little, mostly listening to Japanese techno music and playing video games. (Grand Theft Auto, Call of Duty, Doom, Left 4 Dead, Pikmin, Paper Mario, Shin Megami Tensei, Lego Star Wars, Kingdom Hearts.) The police discovered a number of gaming devices and computers upon searching the Lanza household which had been “significantly damaged by force trauma” and “scratched with an implement.”

Above: Lanza’s home

In his medical records, it stated that he was a vegan who did not like the texture of food, he was only 111lbs (50kg) when he died. In addition to this Lanza adopted “strange behaviours” such as preferring to sleep on the floor instead of the bed. He also liked to go on walks but avoided bright and natural light. It is also worth noting that Lanza was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (which is on the autism scale) though he had a hard time accepting this and refused to take his perscribed medicine. 

In regards to his mother, it detailed that his mother once worked at a school, which Lanza also attended and he felt as though “his mother loved the students more than she loved him.” A witness told an agent that Lanza had been bullied at school though “not excessively” due to his “social awkwardness” and appearance. Also, when Lanza was in ninth grade he hacked through two levels of security to an undisclosed government computer. It was also reported that Lanza threatened to kill his mother sometime around December 2008.

Above: Lanza in 9th Grade

An online friend he met on a website dedicated to Columbine said he was the “weirdest person online.” Lanza also used screen names based on Tim Kretschmer and Kimveer Gill. It was said in an interview that Lanza “was singularly focused and obsessed with mass murderers and devoted almost all his internet activity to researching and discussing mass murderers and spree killing.” 

He also had an online relationship with a woman, whose identity was protected for privacy reasons whom he met through a website where players adopt the roles of the Columbine shooters. She noted that it was clear that he was depressed and viewed the world negatively. He expressed occasional suicidal thoughts but she did not think he was capable of killing himself nevermind others.

Despite this, the FBI concluded that Lanza had done “careful, methodical planning and preparation.” and could have possibly been planning the attack since March 2011. She also told authorities that he had gone into details about his sexuality, he also hinted at the fact he might’ve been asexual. She mentioned that he composed “at least one lengthy email” on his views about paedophilia. In which he expressed his hatred of it but also said it could be “possibly beneficial to both parties.”  FBI agents found a file on Lanza’s computer ‘advocating paedophiles’ rights and the liberation of children’ as well as a screenplay about a relationship between a 10-year-old boy and a 30-year-old man.  

Another online friend was quoted to have said that Lanza felt “pity” for children as they believed that authoritarian people were “improperly controlling” them. She added that Lanza possibly felt as though he was “saving” or “protecting” the children from “taking them away from harmful influences.” He also viewed death as “an escape from the pressures of life.”

A little under five years ago, my high school classroom was crouched behind a table with the lights off. We were rapidly checking twitter and the news, trying to understand what was going on.

Rumors were flying about a kid bringing a gun to Newtown high, and at first, no one was too worried. Until the truth started being reported. Until we found out that, about ten minutes away from our homes, 26 people, most of which were young children, were brutally murdered.

After a few hours of lockdown, we were let out early. There were people crying on the streets. There were more police cars than I had ever seen in our little town. The school bus was filled with whispers and wide eyes as our peers were dropped off. I got home, was embraced by my mother, and started sobbing. While I never felt personally unsafe, it was an insurmountable thing to grasp, that my local community had been devastated by something so atrocious.

That Sunday at church, I had never seen the worship hall so full. Strangers were hugging each other, we were all grasping hands, and there were sobs let out that couldn’t be suppressed. As a fourteen year old who had never experienced a tragedy like this - I often felt numb. I didn’t know how to process it.

I thought about it every single day for the next few years. My friend’s little sister was a third grader at Sandy Hook, and as I became closer to her, my sorrow deepened. Like many of the other survivors, she had nightmares often, she was terrified of loud noises - and she was one of the lucky ones.

Everywhere I went, there was evidence of what happened. Almost every car had a green ribbon on it. Whenever I drove past the firehouse where the parents collected the survivors - I thought about those who desperately searched for their kid through the crowd - only to realize that they were not there. A student teacher at my school took a leave of absence - her mother was one of those who was killed. While I was filled with a deeper love for my community, and the way we came together during this tragedy, I was also filled with so much anger.

Almost five years since Sandy Hook - another mass shooting has occurred. More than twice the amount of people were killed. More communities will be mourning. More families will be devastated. So many more people will never ever be the same. And what has our nation done? What have we done to prevent these tragedies from happening? If you haven’t been a part of a community affected by a mass shooting, I can understand why you might think that guns are not the problem. If you haven’t seen the people you grew up with sobbing with grief, you won’t get it. If you haven’t driven by the newly built elementary school and seen the intense security around it - you won’t get it. If you haven’t seen the 26 candles that everyone lights in their driveways every December, you won’t get it. If you haven’t seen the empty classroom seats of the kids whose siblings didn’t make it - you won’t get it.

Yet there is something we CAN do to help. We can push for gun control. We can resist gun culture. We can fight against terrorism (yes - white terrorism too). I don’t want to get too political here, but please. If you care more about your right to bear arms than the lives of your fellow Americans, then I suggest you reevaluate your priorities.

It can be hard to know what it’s like to experience a mass shooting so close to home. And I’m lucky - while I know of people who were murdered, no one close to me was. My loved ones are safe. The same can’t be said for everyone.

So please - give some long hard thought as to what you can do to help. And work to make change. Thank you.

What Will It Take?

  • 1999 Columbine High School Massacre: 12 Students And One Teacher Murdered
  • 2007 Virginia Tech: 32 People Murdered
  • 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School: 20 Children Between Six And Seven Years Old And Six Adults Murdered.
  • 2016 Pulse Nightclub: 49 People Murdered.
  • 2017 Las Vegas: At Least 50 People Murdered And Over 400 People Wounded.

What Will It Take For America To Have A Conversation About Gun Violence? We Need To Restrict Access To Military-Grade Weapons.

No One Advocates Taking Away The Right To Defend Oneself Or The Ownership Of Hunting Rifles Or Shotguns. 

But These Mass Murders Need To Stop!

Hiding in the event of a shooting (pt.1) [school]

In this post I’m going to list what are the safest places to hide within a school if there isn’t a safe way outside or you are not safely in a classroom going through lockdown procedure. This is entirely hypothetical and it is unlikely you will ever be in the event of a school shooting but it’s best to know how to stay safe just in case.

  • A janitors closet that can lock from the inside (preferably one that is not in main parts of the school)
  • An elevator (make sure it’s closed and not moving)
  • Sub-rooms within room (storage rooms in music and art rooms most likely would be some of the safest)
  • Offices within the guidance/main office (I’ve found that navigating through the guidance/main office is times consuming, rarely have windows, and lock from the inside, making them fairly safe)
  • If you can, within a locker (an active shooter will most likely not look through all the lockers in the school)
  • If there is a basement or area that only has pipes/stuff related (it most likely won’t come into an active shooters mind to check, just avoid any electrical rooms/sections)
  • Small storage cabinets within an empty classroom (the shooter most likely would not enter an empty classroom to begin with and the cabinet would safely conceal you)
  • 1 person bathrooms (they typically have better locks on the doors of 1 person bathrooms and a shooter most likely wouldn’t think about them)


In the event that you can get outside GO OUTSIDE, and if there are no police outside already here are some helpful tips.

  • Hide behind cars (make sure you’re concealed from any windows)
  • Get away from the school grounds (nearby neighborhoods/businesses)
  • When running out/away from the school, run zigzags (makes you a harder target)
  • Even if you don’t have a set destination, keep running until you feel as though there is absolutely no way you could be seen from the school.
  • NOTIFY AUTHORITIES! Even if you think somebody already has, do it anyways. Also if you saw/know the shooter give a description to the police (it could help them)


Again, this is entirely hypothetical but safety is key and these are just some things that came to mind, feel free to add more.


Sandy Hook Promise is a nonprofit organisation developed by the family members of victims and survivors of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, in which 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children aged between six and seven-years-old. He also killed six staff members, his mother, and then himself.

This PSA titled “Evan” was released by Sandy Hook Promise. It cleverly shows how very easy it is to miss the warning signs that somebody could be planning a mass shooting. It promotes the Sandy Hook Promise “Know the Signs” programmes which they run free of charge. They’re intended to teach parents and teachers how to identify if somebody needs help. Thank you to @cryptid-wendigo to showing me this video.