the rose is without why

Initial Thoughts: Lion 4

This moment is so artfully rendered. The build-up to this scene was the boiling over of Steven’s feeling Rose’s presence and pressure in his life. 

And then as Greg reassures him of Rose’s desire (that all the best parents deep down want for their children) for Steven to find himself, embrace it, and be happy, Rose is there, watching from behind them.

It’s very much like the scenes we usually get in the temple, when Rose’s portrait hangs over everyone. But over there her eyes are closed and she’s frozen in a picture-perfect moment. 

This scene dispels the lasting tension brought about by that version of Rose, the individual who was perfect and could do no wrong, the gem who must have had a motive for having Steven.

The Rose behind Steven and Greg had fully accepted her role as mother. She giggled, rambled, and admitted to her imperfections and inadequacies. She hints at the regret of not being able to really meet her son.

Her eyes are wide open in the paused video. It’s as if she herself became more aware and at the same time more open about herself. The resolution is blurry, because we can never really get the entire image of someone else, not even in video. It’s not the clean pastel colours that we see in her portrait.

Leading up to his, Steven did feel alone. He felt he was carrying the weight of his destiny by himself. This scene beautifully shows that both his parents are there to support him. Rose may have left behind a repository of “junk,” both the literal and metaphorical, but Steven wasn’t entirely wrong.

Rose was indeed leaving things behind for him. But they weren’t necessarily leading to a big revelation of his destiny. Each time we encountered something Rose meant for Steven to find, it was only a tool and not a determinant towards what Steven would do next. 

And in this episode, we recall those places all over again, reinforcing this theme. The armoury, the fountain, the room. Even Lion.

All these things Rose left behind were left without instruction. That’s why Steven became confused and certain it was a cryptic message left for him. In reality, it was because she never wanted anything of her son. She wanted to share so much of her life and her history but she knew she wouldn’t be there to do it.

It was precisely because Rose didn’t want him to feel the pressure to take up her mantle that she left things largely unexplained.

There were definitely flaws to her approach, but her intentions, seen very clearly in her two videos, stayed true throughout her journey to becoming Steven’s mother.

From day one, that neither knew who Steven would be is a reflection of what every parent feels when having a child. 

What I feel this episode really cements is Steven’s decision-making as an individual. The significance of his life’s choices rests on him. And I hope these are themes we get to explore more in the rest of the Steven Bomb and in the show.

Rewatching Reflekta

I feel like this part of the opening is relevant this episode. I can’t believe Juleka is actually Mike Wazowski

K let’s see who we’ve got in Mendeleiev’s class… I recognize not-crying-enough-girl, Justin Extra, the heartless kid from Darkblade, that cool girl, Jean Duparc, girl who looks like Asami, Mireille Caquet, Ron Weasley, Aurore Beauréal, and some other kids who I don’t have nicknames for yet

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS GREAT:

Kim is listening to Max talking about something

My sunshine children Adrien and Nino are chatting

Juleka and Rose are having a moment

Marinette’s spying on Adrien and Alya’s 30000% too entertained by this

Nathanaël’s doing something on his phone and Mylène and Ivan are watching him

Chloé and Sabrina are taking selfies or smth

The teachers are chatting (I love how Mr Damocles isn’t in the other class’s photo, they’re clearly not cool enough)

And Alix hasn’t even bothered to turn up yet (unless she’s too short and standing behind someone)

Seriously, what is my precious tomato son doing? He’s just scrolling? Maybe he’s showing Mylène and Ivan his artwork on like tumblr or something

JUST LOOK AT THESE TWO. THIS IS SO PURE AND SWEET. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS IT’S SO CUTE HELP ME

This is glorious. Ron Weasley, Asami and not-crying-enough-girl were in their class. Chloé and Juleka haven’t changed. Sabrina is wearing green. Nath is wearing indigo. Kim is wearing yellow. Rose has long hair. Max has an afro. Marinette has her hair in a bun

MR RAMIER GET YOUR DARN PIGEONS UNDER CONTROL

Rose NOTICED POOR JULEKA AND SHE LOOKS SAD AAAAAAAA (also see Kim doing bunny ears to Marinette)

Look at this. Look at my cute smiling goth daughter. If you haven’t yet adopted her idk what you’re waiting for

HER NAILS

One of the rare times we get to see both her eyes. This is an important moment.

Okay poor Ivan but I just can’t stop laughing… look at Max’s face. And you can barely even see Alix omg why did the photographer even considering putting the class giant on the front row

Marinette that’s a cute pose you’re doing there

Juleka’s death glare is my favourite thing

Chloé what the heck

Same

Look at this family portrait of my 14 adopted children and my two adoptive parents

Why do they all look so unimpressed. Sabrina literally only asked to go to the toilet, it’s not like these guys knew she was up to mischief. Well okay Mylène just looks surprised and tbh “unimpressed” is Alix’s default facial expression anyway but like. Max and Marinette. Why are you unimpressed.

It seems this water cooler only has one cup. Where are all the other cups? How is more than one student supposed to drink out of this thing?

Why is there randomly a chair in the toilets

Why do these toilet doors have handles

Max just looks so done. Same, my child, same

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PICTURE SO MUCH

Everyone in Mendeleiev’s class has so much attitude

I love how while everyone else is like “Oh yeah where’s Juleka???” Alix is just like “idc I’m outta here” and walks off

Marinette’s impression of Juleka is spot on tbh

CHLOÉ LOOKS GUILTY FOR ABOUT 0.1 SECONDS, JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE

When you realize the Reflekta Julerose scene is basically just the Horrificator Ivan/Mylène scene but gayer

I’M NOT CRYING. I JUST… I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE. SOMEONE’S CHOPPING ONIONS IN HERE PROBABLY

This looks kinda uncomfortable

I’m worried about Juleka. She’s clearly very unhappy and has very, very low self esteem, even to the point of truly believing Rose would be better off without her. I know some people are like “why did she get akumatized over something as trivial as a class photo?” but I think it’s actually something far deeper than that, and not so easily fixed.

AGAIN, HER NAILS

HER EYELASHES

HER LITERALLY EVERYTHING OMG LOOK AT THIS VILLAIN WHAT EVEN IS THIS

Mr Damocles and the Italian camera dude are totes besties

AND YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ARE TOTES BESTIES? Look at this. I’ve been keeping an eye on Nathanaël okay, and he never hangs out with anyone one-on-one, ever. The closest thing is when the whole class is there. But look. He’s talking to Alix Kubdel. One-on-one. You know, the other classmate who doesn’t have a best friend. So like I’m not saying these two are actually secretly best friends but OH WAIT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING

Btw Marinette’s lucky Chloé chose to record from this exact angle, otherwise Tikki would have been caught on camera and that would be the end of that

I love smug Tikki

Rose probably told Mylène and Jean Duparc what happened to poor Juleka. I bet they’re all predicting she’s gonna get akumatized

OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT they’re still talking to each other. Yeah yeah this is a background moment I shouldn’t read so much into it… but it’s not like they both got akumatized on their birthdays or anything… or that they’re near each other in the theme song, like all the other best friends… or that Horrificator kidnapped them in the same round, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER BEST FRIENDSOR THAT THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO CLASSMATES WHO DON’T HAVE A CONFIRMED BEST FRIEND/COMPANION AND I’VE LITERALLY NEVER SEEN NATH HANGING OUT WITH ANYONE ELSE EVER (THIS IS NOW MY FAV BROTP FIGHT ME)

That djwifi tho

It’s really creepy that she attacked Rose so callously. But then again, Reflekta is unique in that she has the exact opposite personality to Juleka, so while Juleka clearly cares about Rose a lot, Reflekta doesn’t care at all.

Also Juleka is noodle-armed whereas Reflekta has an eight pack, Reflekta is shredded

Okay I’m going out on a limb here based on who I just saw get transformed… that crying one on the floor is probably Rose being terrified for herself and Juleka, and the one on the left is probably Alix going “I’m tall now???” (The ones in the background are prob Mr Damocles and Italian camera dude, tho I saw Kim, Ivan, Alya, Nath and a bunch of background characters get transformed too)

How did she get out of this tho

Her evil laugh is creepy whether you watch it in French or English

Not sure what to say about this

She’s sliding down the railing, why do we not talk about this more

This is so cool tho. She blocks every single one of Ladybug’s attacks while strutting along as if she’s on the catwalk. Reflekta is fab and she knows it

Um… I’m pretty sure French dub Reflekta just implied she’s planning on keeping LB’s earrings… uh do you seriously think Hawk Moth’s gonna let you do that

I bet this one’s Alix, she looks like she’s gonna punch someone

I still can’t believe Reflekta just frickin stepped on all of them and ran away

Nyaah~

Darn tourists

Out of context this looks like Ladybug and Reflekta are a couple now

They see me rollin, they hatin

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think she’s the only one to be de-akumatized while still standing up

Oh, so they did take one with Mr Damocles (also I’m loving how angry that dude on the front row is looking). But where are Aurore and Mireille?

Kim you better not be bullying Ivan again

Tfw when you’re not sure whether this counts as a Kimax moment or a heartrate moment so Both. Both is Good.

EEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This has been said before but I’ll say it again - Juleka’s Angels needs to be a spinoff

EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. EVERY SINGLE CLASSMATE. ALL OF THEM.

Finally watching JTV...

So let me get this straight: when Rafael pushes Jane away because he recognizes that he’s in a dark, fucked up place and doesn’t want to drag her down with him and knows that nothing else will be enough to get her to stay away, it’s the worst thing in the world and Jane’s immediate reaction to him confessing why he did it is totally negative and requires groveling from Rafael and blah blah blah.

When Michael does basically the same exact thing and pushes Jane away to resolve the whole Rose thing without dragging her into it, her immediate reaction to him confessing why he blocked her out of his life is heart eyes and romantic music??? I’m just? What? 

Also, I completely understand why she was furious at Rafael for lying to her about paying off the dude to turn in Michael, but I in ZERO way understand how that absolves Michael of a damn thing? Like does that suddenly change the fact that he started a fight right in front of Matteo and got him injured (cause homeboy does NOT care about that kid let’s be real, like it’s totally an ‘I’m obsessed with Jane and she loves this baby so I’ll just do whatever makes her happy’)? How does that make Michael the good guy? Jane legit reacted like she just realized Rafael had actually been the one to hurt Matteo the whole time, I’m just? Get mad at Rafael all you want but it doesn’t change a single thing Michael did?

Michael as a character baffles me. He’s only remotely compelling when he’s doing his police detective thing - everything else about him feels insincere af and the way the Villanuevas fawn over him is honestly ridic (don’t even get me started on the MIND-BOGGLING Rogelio/Michael thing). I don’t get it, man. I don’t get it. Rafael makes mistakes like crazy but Jesus at least we see him learn from them. Michael just makes a mistake and then it disappears and no one remembers anything happened and they’re thrilled he’s back. I was straight up floored when he told Jane to abort the baby or he was out of there, and yet no one seemed to see that as a red flag? No one held onto that as a HUGE problem? Everyone was super happy to have him back onboard once he gave a half-assed ‘okay never mind I’ll stay if you want the baby!’???? I’m???? But Rafael offers to help Jane with financial hardships if she takes a chance and pursues her dream and that’s a HUGE issue for the entire family?

Nah, man.

Nah.

I don’t get it. Like if they held Michael to the same standard as everyone else I’d be cool with him, but the worship is outrageous - it’s like Dean from Gilmore Girls all over again.

i have a theory for Lion after seeing Buddy’s book just now. but like. it might sound really weird and kinda gross. we just have to remember that although rose is human-shaped, she’s 100% alien. ok so here goes:

lion is steven’s brother.

it could make sense - rose created another gem hybrid. when you put it in context, it’s not more weird for her to mate with a lion than a human. the only difference being, she didn’t become half of lion and did not give him her gem. which threw me off at first, but then i remembered that there has been an official statement, i think it was by rebecca sugar herself, that Rose could’ve had steven without sacrificing herself.

so maybe that’s why she was chilling with seven regular lions. they are litterally her pack. i have to admit that this would be a really weird thing to explain to the target audience, which makes it less likely to be possible, but idk. to me it makes sense somehow! or maybe i’m just crazy haha

Saw this wonderful artwork by @cotetr, my mind went crazy, and now I have to post the head canon I have because I like to share pain!

So after the gems separate Malachite and poof Jasper, Steven goes down into the temple the same as he did for Peridot. But things don’t go the same as before. Jasper quickly turns on him, lashing out in a fury for the months she spent imprisoned on the bottom of the ocean.

Keep reading

5 You Have Depression

(req)

Dan: Your phone screen lit up and chimed, startling you and breaking you away from your mindless daydreaming and nail-biting. Shit, was it really seven o'clock already? You hadn’t even changed out of your sweats or eaten a thing since you woke up in a mood this morning. 1 new message from Dan Howell. You opened the text, hoping and praying that he wasn’t asking for help with a video or anything. You were having one of your bad days and nothing in the world could’ve brought you outside. Not even Dan.

Drinks on me tonight? I’ll pick you up.

Well, shit. Rarely did Dan ever initiate anything so social; he must’ve really been feeling lonely. You didn’t want to reject his generous invitation but on a bad mental health day like this one, you had to sit this one out. You threw back a ’sorry, I’m not feeling well’ as an excuse and pretended you didn’t feel like a horrible person for it. Depression for you wasn’t manic episodes of tears and screaming or a lack of emotion or anything, it was a painful inner guilt for everything, and it only made you want to hide. With the stress of work and life, getting out of bed was an impossible task. So there you stayed in your ugly sweatpants with the evening news warbling softly in the background. It was your only distraction.

At nine o'clock, when everything in your flat had gone pitch black before you could even notice, that irritating ding dong of your doorbell scraped at your ears. You knew you hadn’t ordered anything online (interacting with the postman was a simply scary notion), or gotten any food delivered, as eating was the last thing on your mind right now. You considered just letting the guest wait and leave, but you went to the door anyway.

“Hello,” Dan said with a smile. He held a brown paper sack and a single red rose. It looked like a scene from a cheesy romance film that you frankly were not in the mood for.

“What do you have there?” You gestured to the bag, trying your best to put on a smile for him.

“Wine,” he said. You could see the awkwardness in his expression. Maybe this wasn’t his best idea. “Could I…Could I come in?”

You stepped aside to let him through, and closed the door behind him. Dan set the bag on your kitchen counter and handed you the rose without a word. It was lovely, yes, but why did you deserve it? The two of you stood in awkwardness as you tried to pretend you didn’t want to just hide. “Not that I don’t just love the company, but why did you come all the way over here?”

Dan shifted in his shoes and tousled his hair in attempt to seem casual despite his obvious panic. Oh, he hoped this didn’t ruin everything. “You said you weren’t feeling well, so if we can’t go get some drinks, then I’ll bring the drinks to you.” Your face contorted in self-inflicted shame. You’d never felt like more of an inconvenience. Why was Dan even dating you? You were just a depressive mess that deserved nothing. You wished silently that Dan wasn’t so nice; maybe then he’d give you time to wallow by yourself. “Sorry, should I go?” He asked.

Yes, you thought, not wanting to taint his view of you. To him you were the smiling, hardworking person that you put out. But in reality you felt like a big fat failure, certainly not deserving of Dan’s kind of love and affection. You started to cry, for God knows what reason, and began to lose your mind. “Stay,” you huffed, “please.”

Dan set everything on the kitchen counter before taking you in his arms, his chin resting on top of your head protectively. You let everything out, wailing about how goddamn depressed you were, how you weren’t enough for him, how it was all just too much, how you wanted nothing but to hide. You were hardly coherent but Dan understood anyway and held you tighter.

“Listen,” he started, quiet and steady, unlike you, “you are so much more than enough. You are so beautiful and amazing and kind and smart. I love you. Please don’t think that I or everyone else doesn’t for a minute. I love you.” He sounded like he was going to cry, too. But Dan was strong, your rock, and you were infinitely grateful for his company. He held you until you calmed down, and for even longer. “It’s okay.” He repeated. And it was. You were okay and Dan would make sure of that.

Phil: You woke with a start at nine o'clock out of Phil’s bed in a panic. You hadn’t meant to spend the night (not that it wasn’t a lovely time) and sleep in again, it really messed with your schedule. “Shitshitshit,” you muttered, detangling yourself from the bedsheets, trying to retrieve your clothes from the floor below. You were three hours late to take your medication, the one thing that kept you from your crippling depression. You’d be feeling the consequences any time now.

Phil yawned loudly from behind you on the bed as he propped himself up on his elbow. “Good morning, beautiful–” he greeted before processing your panic, “Is everything alright?”

You sighed, you really wanted to avoid waking him up. He worried too much. You ran a nervous hand through your hair as you slipped your boots over last night’s sweatpants. “Yeah, just peachy,” you smiled, leaning in to kiss your boyfriend before you went off. You could tell by his kiss that he really didn’t want you to leave.

“Can’t you stay a while longer? You just woke up,” Phil complained. His blue eyes pierced yours with a needle of guilt and a hint of confusion. It made you feel even worse; you couldn’t even make your own boyfriend happy.

You put your hair up haphazardly in his mirror, speaking through the hair bauble you held in your teeth, “Sorry, I forgot I had to– I forgot something…yeah,” you tried in your most convincing tone. You didn’t want to raise any concern, you just wanted to get back to your own flat and take your meds and hide, and Phil was making it harder. When you decided you were finally at the minimum level of presentability for the Tube ride back to your place, you gave one last goodbye kiss to Phil, who was now stood in his pyjamas behind you in a state of bewilderment. You gave your last ‘see you soon’ to him before he got hold of your arm.

“You’re acting weird,” he said with an uncharacteristically serious tone, squeezing your hand in attempt to calm you, “what’s going on?”

“I’m fine, Phil,” you sighed, “really.” But your face said otherwise, your emotional armor had been pierced by the guilt of worrying Phil. Why do I ruin everything? Your eyes started to water and your nose twitched. You were crying. Shit.

Without a word, Phil brought you to his chest, a hand on your hair to hold you to him and calm you down. After a minute or three, the two of you had ended up on the carpet, his shirt darkened with unsightly tear stains. You had stopped crying, but worry was still looming over your head like a storm cloud. “Please talk to me,” he whispered, “please.”

You took deep breaths as you wiped your face dry. You sighed. “Phil…” you started. You didn’t know how to tell him, you were scared he’d see you as some wounded animal from now on. “I have depression,” you blurted, “like…a lot,” you held back tears, trying to explain yourself, “I was supposed to take my medication hours ago, I haven’t missed it in months…” you trailed a bit as your vision was blurred by tears. Phil looked at you but said nothing. “It gets really bad if I don’t take it, I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m sorry.”

Phil tightened his arms around your crying figure, trying to protect you from whatever made you hurt. His thumb traced a soothing line on your spine as he held you. You thanked whatever power that was for your patient boyfriend. “Don’t apologise,” he said, “you don’t have to keep anything from me, beautiful. I’d still love you if you had a hand growing from your forehead.”

You laughed, more at his attempt of humor than what he said. You’d convinced yourself you were absolute rubbish, but at least Phil loved you. You didn’t say anything for the longest time. You didn’t have to. Phil walked you to the station and made sure you got home safe. When you were finally back at your own place, you found your phone was filled with messages from Phil, all GIFs of goats and puppies and ducks playing, all gratuitously cute. Of course, your depression would not in a million years be cured by cute baby animal images, but you admired Phil for trying to help, and you loved him for that.

goingtothetardis  asked:

For your AMA. In Mistaken Identity, I was very curious about the things you didn't write in regards to Lucifer's reaction to Rose - calling her an enigma, referring to the things she's seen, the things below the surface - and then the Doctor's reaction to all that. That Rose doesn't know any of it, but he's obviously stating that in FRONT of Rose without telling her any of it. I guess, why did you write that scene the way you did? (1/2)

And what does Rose know of her time as Bad Wolf? You left it in such a way that she clearly still holds some part of Bad Wolf inside her, and I’m just curious about the background of how you built the story. I think that’s what I’m trying to say. Anywho, I really enjoyed the crossover. I think it worked so well. Two VERY different immortal (basically) beings in love with mortals… (2/2)

Hey! Thank you so much, this is a great question with a lot to unpack!!
Mistaken Identity

(I mean, the obvious answer is I wanted to have a Bad Wolf shoutout without getting too bogged down with all the details, but let’s have a real answer, shall we? :P)

So first, it’s obvious that Lucifer can see what Rose is. She has power, and he’s drawn to that. This is of course based on my headcanon that Rose’s time as Bad Wolf changed her physically, despite the fact that the Doctor took it out of her; it’s still there on some level because it’s a part of her. So Lucifer is responding to that. (I mean, she was basically God for a few minutes, how could he not?) Obviously he doesn’t know the specifics of how she looked into the Time Vortex, etc, but he can sense that she’s, shall we say, human-plus.

But the Doctor won’t let him break the memory lock he’s put on her. In TCI, Rose tells Mickey that it’s all been wiped from her mind, like it’s forbidden. But by Canary Wharf, she at least remembers that she killed the Emperor, and how. So at some point I’m assuming/hoping that the Doctor sat her down and they talked about what had happened. So that’s why Rose isn’t immediately up in the Doctor’s grill about what she doesn’t remember. The Doctor’s just afraid that Lucifer’s abilities will bring the dangerous bits to the surface again. Because of course, who knows what deepest desire someone who’s seen all of time and space could have? ((The Doctor being the Doctor, of course, fails to realise that Rose survived Bad Wolf because her deepest desire is and will always be just that - “I want you safe. My Doctor.”))

Thank you for reading, and thank you for the thoughtful question! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I’m a sucker for the mortal/immortal pairings (obviously) so that was another fun aspect of the crossover aside from the devilish references that I wanted to explore!


I’m answering this question as part of my 200 Follower AMA! Feel free to head over and hit up my inbox if you have any burning questions you’d like answered!

2

And up front, we have Rose Lalonde serving as the ectobiologist for her group’s session, as she now finds herself surrounded by babies. She seems more amused than anything, so the situation seems handled well enough. Just so long as no one gets too fussy. Nobody wants to be surrounded by eight screaming babies.

Because I’m not sure if anybody remembers/realizes that Rose is now the main character/leader of the beta kids as opposed to John in this AU. I spent way too long on this picture, but it was fun, and I like how it turned out, even if it was a pain trying to decide what each kidlet is sent back with.

Also, I figured it’s probably way more likely that the babies were created without diapers or glasses, hence why Rose gets a bunch of naked glasses-less babies.

Props to anyone who can figure out which two spooky characters were combined to make Rose’s rad outfit. (Hint: The alchemized outfit was called Beetle Bride. Or something like that. Names are not my strong suit.)

Ashiya: Abeno-san, I learned how to write the “Itsuki” in “Haruitsuki” without looking!

Abeno: So what?

Ashiya: Isn’t that amazing? Not even the Mononokean can do it!

Abeno: Then next, write the characters for “rose,” “melancholy,” “giraffe,” and “skull.” Without looking of course.

Ashiya: What? Why?!

Ashiya had just learned to write the kanji character of his boyfie’s name (ノ≧ڡ≦) and Abeno being a tsundere jerk about it (♡´艸`) lol

Fukigen na Mononokean episode 9