Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s pre game pep talk for USWNT.
Annotating The Rock
I love the Rock with a sexless intensity that will continue to burn long after the physical husk I inhabit has been absorbed back into the nitrogen cycle.

“You’re damn right I watched this short clip of the dang Rock interrupting his workout – unwilling even to remove his headphones for the duration – to give a chipper pep talk to a bunch of strangers, because he is a traveling inspiration machine covered in tricep muscles and also creatine-flavored jawbreakers. “

a) I am so completely obsessed with The Rock that I’m like, inches away from purchasing The Rock merchandise and I also maybe sometimes imagine him coaching/encouraging me when I’m on the elliptical? I’m not embarrassed; and b) “creatine-flavored jawbreakers” is a phrase that, even standing alone, should win a fucking Pulitzer and I am so upset that I didn’t think of it myself.