the result is hilarious

Watching Kimi no na wa
  • What you expected: Cute highschoolers swapping bodies which results in hilarious shenanigans and the unexpected budding romance.
  • What you got: fuCKING PLOT TWIST BECAUSE SWAPPING BODIES IS APPARENTLY NOT ENOUGH. MOTHERFUCKER KICK IN THE GUTS RIGHT WHERE YOUR FEELS HURT THE MOST. PLOT TWIST AGAIN. THE AGONY™. SOUL EATING SUSPENSE. YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT OF YOUR CHEST. TORTURED FEELS. ARE THEY GONNA MAKE IT? ARE THEY GONNA MISS EACH OTHER AGAIN??? ARE THEY GONNA REMEMBER!!?? I DIDN'T FUCKING SING UP FOR THIS I WAS NOT READY. LOVE STORY OF THE CENTURY. CHEWING YOUR NAILS AND SOBBING INTO A PILLOW UNTIL THE VERY LAST SECOND OF THIS FORSAKEN MOVIE.

cpupdawg  asked:

Do u know the ship name of Angelica and t Jeff !?!?! BC I HAD A HECKIN GUD IDEA: ok so Thomas hits on Angelica ( in a cocky snarky way, the same way he hits on every girl) BUT Angelica has an amazing sash come back and Thomas IS JUST SHOOK no girls ever done that before and he is blushing and he doesn't know what to say ALSO HE IN LOVE

I’m cracking up at the thought of Jefferson trying to woo her because, this a man that broke his right wrist trying to jump over a fence to impress a lady (then broke the other in his own house). What do you think he would do after trying and failing multiple times?

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy the thought of Harry and Draco back at Hogwarts years after they leave? If not, let me take a few moments of your time to elucidate:

  • Banter
  • Inter-house rivalry at the head table
    • inter-house rivalry between classes
  • Knowing (memorizing) each other’s schedule and casually bringing it up in conversation–with or outside of each other
  • Seeming like a married couple to everyone else but not realizing it themselves
  • Intense quidditch debates in the staff room
    • students like to hang around outside because they’re always loud and always hilarious (and sometimes often result in creative new insults to add to their repertoire)
  • Grading together in one of their quarters and snarking over ridiculous student answers
  • Quibbling over teaching methods to the point of pedantry just to be annoying to the other
  • Trying the “I’ve never been more shocked by student behaviour in my life” approach on students who misbehave, none of whom believe it because they’ve heard stories of Harry and Draco’s time at Hogwarts (usually by the other in classes, ex. Draco climbing a tree because he wanted Harry’s attention)
  • Patrolling the hallways over Christmas hols
    • “Here. This is the statue Flitwick said he’s caught kids fooling around behind. Go check it out.”
    • “Why do I have to go?”
    • “What are you, scared?”
    • “… Fine, you absolute tosser. …Woah, Malfoy, come check this out.”
    • “What? What is it?”
    • “Just get back here and you’ll see.”
    • “I’m not going to fall for your tricks, Potter. I’m not going back there.”
    • “Malfoy….”
    • Fine.”
      • They end up necking behind the statue like students
      • It becomes a repeat occurrence

another thing that I think about a lot is how absolutely terrible han solo is at calculating when he’s going to make planetfall

which is not to say han solo is bad with numbers, han solo is one of those self-taught savants, who can do complicated interest calculations in his head; what han solo cannot do is the finicky interstellar calculus that tells you if you start out at 1800 hours local time, on a planet with a 90 hour sidereal day, and travel at 9 parsecs per hour, skipping between the Terrabe Bypass and the Alui Corridor, you’ll make planetfall on Tatooine around 0700 local time, just when everybody’s headed out to the noonday meal.

that’s the kind of shit he hates.

it also results in an unending string of hilarious misadventures wherein han solo arrives at precisely the wrong time anywhere he goes and ends up 1) preventing the kidnapping of a young duke’s son because everyone else was asleep, 2) dropping through atmo at the exact right moment to stop an Imperial rollout of monitoring droids, because he throught the no fly order wasn’t in effect until the next day, 3) hanging around at high noon, waiting for jabba to come back from his daily nap, only to be waylaid by a man claiming to be a jedi and his wide-eyed kid, 4) amusing leia to no end as he sits at one of the mess hall tables, biting his thumb and trying to work out four-dimensional calculus with a flimsi napkin and an old-fashioned stylus, 5) annoying his son to no end as he was late for everything, yes, dad, everything—uncle luke said you arrived four days after I was born.

better late than never, han says with a grin, every time. and anyway, your mom was on a planet with a very short solar cycle, messed up everything.

for his 40th birthday, leia buys him a top of the line galactic calculator, which only needs the local time, and then galactic coordinates of origin and destination to estimate the local time of arrival.

she finds han at the kitchen table three days later, biting his thumb and working out the time to the outer rim with a flimsi napkin, and a stylus.

Buff teaches Lifting
Ian Murray
Buff teaches Lifting

Ever since Buff Bendy became a thing. I’ve wanted to do a comic dub of him, and thanks to @anastasia-cherubin I’ve done just that. After reading this I had to do a comic dub of this and the end result is hilarious xD.

Enjoy!

Voices = Me

Music = Kevin Macleod

Pinkberry HCs

• Brooke is super super tech savvy. She was bored one preteen summer and checked out a book about coding at the library and picked up on it super fast and now she can hack into most basic-to-moderate mainframes/technology (the only person who knows abt it is chloe bc she’s seen all brooke’s computer monitors set up in her room) 

• growing up, Chloe’s mom was big on having her know how to defend herself and enrolled her in karate classes. She took classes until she was 15 and got her brown belt & now takes kickboxing 

• whenever they have sleepovers at Chloe’s house they sleep in her bed together because it’s a queen size and she doesn’t see the point in having one of them sleep on the floor. They tried to squeeze into Brooke’s twin a few times but gave up bc its just too uncomfortable

• slight continuation: whenever she sleeps at Brooke’s house, Chloe insists that she sleeps on the floor too because she doesn’t feel it’s fair to have one on the floor and one on the bed

• they made a pact that Chloe’ll pay for gas if Brooke pays for their tri-weekly yogurt  dates  sessions

• Brooke definitely listens to Taylor swift but like. Her older albums. Conversely, Chloe only listens to her more recent ones

• Chloe has a tendency to drift off into daydreams and Brooke finds it annoying sometimes because she’s more grounded in reality and can’t relate™

• Chloe writes exclusively in glitter gel pens. You know the ones

• Chloe takes French classes while Brooke takes Spanish and they often do each other’s homework with hilarious results

• when Brooke was younger she tried to write poetry and one day she digs up an old notebook to laugh at with Chloe but it turns out she finds it really interesting. Chloe winds up writing her own slam poetry and performs during poem night at the coffee store on the corner (she’s working up the courage to ask Brooke to come but most of them are about her so)

• Brooke loves astronomy. She’s had a telescope since she was 9 and can see the Big Dipper from her front porch & stargazing with chloe is her dream date

• best of all: they are Happy and Girlfriends in Love amen

Spooky Bts headcanon

Namjoon: accidental poltergeist. Doesn’t mean to throw stuff or anything. But shit breaks. things fall. Moves things around and loses them. No sense of direction. Tends to get lost in own house.

Jimin: a ghost learning how to haunt. sheet over the head level scary. Soft and relatively young. Fluffy. Loves cuddling with other monsters. Is scared of humans. Hides behind Namjoon if they start talking in English.

Yoongi: tired vampire. Pale. Sharp. sleeps all day. Has seen it all a hundred times. Is not amused. Looks weak and fragile. But could probably kill you with his tongue technology bite. Soft for his minion, a miniature poodle he has recently acquired.

Hoseok: a good banshee. Very cheerful and pure. but screams. A lot. Also loves to dance, so if you hear footsteps at midnight, he’s your man. Tends to materialize in ballrooms, dance clubs etc and leaves people wondering after he disappears.

Taehyung: friendly neighborhood witch. Always tries to be helpful. Gives kids candy and pets stranger’s dogs. But people get suspicious. Spells frequently go wrong with hilarious results. Quaint little shop in town. House emits weird noises at night.

Seokjin: Vain demon. Easily recognizable by strange laugh that he always fails to disguise. Can be summoned by looking at the mirror and chanting ‘Jin has average looks’ 3 times. Legend is he’ll come bitchslap you and say 'I’m worldwide handsome’

Jungkook: Strong-willed but misguided monster hunter, ghostbuster what have you. Looks adorable but rarely smiles. Muscles from all the training. Arrives in town for a mission and ends up befriending six idiot hyungs.


Check out the fic!

anonymous asked:

Honestly if pyro turns out to be anything other than a sentient giant balloonicorn I'm gonna be low key disappointed

Now that is a truly magical headcanon I could believe in.

anonymous asked:

I had a dream yesterday where I got drunk and somehow all I could say was "pendejo" and "soy gay", which obviously resulted in some frustrating and also hilarious situations and honestly it's all I've been able to think about for the past day. But I live in a small all white Dutch town, have absolutely no Hispanic background, friends and know like six words in Spanish so really the only person I can blame this mess on is you

you’re welcome.

I don’t know why I’ve been obsessed with the idea of Grantaire, Joly and Bossuet having a cooking youtube channel together.

  • They don’t even know how to cook that well. They were just bored one day, picked up a camera and filmed each other messing around in the kitchen
  • Bossuet is good at editing, and is a comedy genius, so the end result was hilarious. They put it online and went viral
  • Every episode begins by Joly greeting the audience by something related to the recipe of the day: “Hello Bumble Bees!” “Hello Sunny-side eggs!” “Hello Beans!” “Hello Apples of my eye!”
  • Bossuet makes puns. Constantly. He’s also in charge of the realisation
  • Grantaire makes up songs as they go, improvising melodies and rhymes
  • People adore their content, and you can see the quality improving all the time as they get better equipment and as they become better cooks
  • Other Amis are slowly introduced as guests
  • Courfeyrac wants a rainbow cake with a twist
  • Jehan gives them vegan challenges
  • Combeferre does special “Food Facts” episodes. People are screaming in the comments because of his rolled sleeves and tattoos
  • The audience starts to pick up the Enjoltaire vibe and the shipping is HUGE online, which embarrasses Grantaire and Enjolras immensely, because neither can face their feelings
  • It becomes even more intense when Enjolras is invited to make a cake on the show and they start throwing flour at each other
  • There may have been a floury hand print on Enjolras’ ass
  • Shippers go wild
Sense of Humor

Mercury in Aries: jokes at others’ expense, tries to be funnier than the people around them, likes to tease (or goad), loves wacky dares, very physical and demonstrative, does funny things more than says them, immature, likes stunts.
Mercury in Taurus: quirky, charming, classic, lots of idioms, euphemisms, and innuendos, subtle implications, smooth, flirtatious, sophisticated, rhetorical, doesn’t exactly “joke” but they’re entertaining anyway, can be dry or ironic.
Mercury in Gemini: turns everything into a joke, can be inappropriate, very quick-witted, clever, ironic, rhetorical, demonstrative, loves to use facial expressions, silly, playful, loves pranks and games, punny, mischievous.
Mercury in Cancer: sometimes indirect and subtle but seldom sarcastic or dry, old-fashioned, loves to make puns, wholesome humor, cute, silly, can be demonstrative, may exaggerate, mostly simple & fun, often immature.
Mercury in Leo: very dramatic, jokes at literally everybody’s expense (including their own), makes playfully arrogant/vain statements, demonstrative, loves to exaggerate, very perceptive of reactions & caters to their “audience.”
Mercury in Virgo: tells jokes people don’t get, good at puns, can be self-depreciating, dry humor, witty, often ironic, jokes are complaints & complaints are jokes, sophisticated, can’t play along, good at telling amusing stories.
Mercury Libra: might disguise unkind jokes under charm/niceness, master of “relatable” jokes, makes a lot of references, often dramatic, indirect, avoids sarcasm, usually tries to make sure their jokes aren’t at anybody’s expense.
Mercury in Scorpio: dark humor (sometimes offensively so), inside jokes galore, ironic, sarcastic, indirect, vague, often takes their jokes too far, tells jokes for their own enjoyment, likes to get reactions, mildly mean, rhetorical.
Mercury in Sagittarius: exaggerates a lot (& tends to be sarcastic as a result), often offensive, uses a lot of accents, tells hilarious stories, very blunt & direct, can be mean, can’t tell a joke with a straight face, inappropriate.
Mercury in Capricorn: tends to be condescending, very dry humor, hilarious things spoken in a totally deadpan manner, extremely sarcastic in a bland but entertaining way, “intellectual” jokes, lots of shrugs and eye-rolls, mature.
Mercury in Aquarius: usually pretty offensive, witty, loves pushing the envelope of comedy, tests people, very sarcastic, the kind of person to stretch their joke on for as long as possible & keep adding to it, enjoys reactions.
Mercury in Pisces: self-depreciating, amazing at impressions & mimicking, very creative & good at situational humor, endlessly ironic, makes sure you know they’re joking & probably apologizes for a lot of their jokes, vague.


Your Jupiter sign generally describes what you consider to be funny, so if you have Jupiter in Aries, for example, you will likely laugh the most at people who have an Aries sense of humor.


Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to the sun: sense of humor will be more dramatic, self-centered, creative, unique, and exhibitionistic.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to the moon: sense of humor will be more innocent, wholesome, considerate, softer, and more modest.
Jupiter in aspect to Mercury: sense of humor will be wittier, exaggerated, more inappropriate, playful, mischievous, quirky, and youthful.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Venus: sense of humor will be more graceful, sophisticated, refined, classic, inoffensive, polite, and charming.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Mars: sense of humor will be more aggressive, impactful, immature, quick, mean, demonstrative, and boyish.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Saturn: sense of humor will be more dry, mature, sarcastic, careful, calm, reserved, and uncertain.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Uranus: sense of humor will be more eccentric, offensive, unique, shocking, strange, random, and interesting.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Neptune: sense of humor will be more imaginative, sensitive, nonsensical, unique, adaptable, and confusing.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Pluto: sense of humor will be more intense, morbid, taboo, interesting, controversial, twisted, and reserved.


The subject/object of your humor is often related to the theme of the houses which have some form of contact to Gemini/Mercury or Sagittarius/Jupiter energies. For example, if you have Gemini on the sixth house cusp, you will likely be humorous, mischievous, and playful in work environments with your coworkers and employees. Read about house meanings {here}.

Wholesome Week Day 7 - AU OF CHOICE

I was really happy with how this one turned out so I figured I’d post it a little early.

SURPRISE!!!

So in this Alternate Universe @moringmark@spatziline and their pet pig move into the Diaz’s neighborhood. The two quickly befriend Star and Marco, and join them on their adventures (with hilarious results). Also, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz love them to bits. Sugaritos are their new favorite food.

“Why is your pig wearing sunglasses?”

“His future’s so bright, he’s gotta wear shades!”

“Oink.”

6

Disney’s Mix & Match Villains by Eric and Susan Goldberg

Genie animator Eric Goldberg and his wife Susan have created this BEAUTIFUL and RIDICULOUS book where you take the iconic Disney villains (Maleficent, Cruella De Vil, Jafar, Ursula, the Queen of Hearts, Ratcliffe, Frollo, etc.) and mix and match their costumes, faces and legs to come up with some truly hilarious results. What’s more, the text also changes according to your mixing, as does the appearance of the side-kicks and protagonists!

Best of all, Disney’s Mix and Match Villains Book is currently selling for ONE CENT on Amazon! Click here to order.

PSA in dealing with blindness or the partially sighted

So those who know me know I lost my vision at 14 due to some freak immune system issues (I’ve talked about it on here) but that I still function. In fact, if I didn’t tell you I had a giant hole where your face is, you’d never know it, but I do. Because I have one foot in the world of the sight, having been extremely visual as a person, and one world in that of the visually impaired because of the extreme flux in my visual acuity, I feel like I can give you some useful tips, if you ever need to help a visually impaired person, or someone who is completely blind.

1. Don’t just help.

This is the biggest fucking issue. The fact is if I’m using my cane, I’m looking for things on the ground that are landmarks to my location. Which means if you suddenly open the door for me without saying anything and my cane can’t find it, I become extremely disoriented. ALWAYS GIVE AN AUDITORY CLUE THAT YOU ARE ASSISTING.

This includes you well-meaning but completely idiotic people who stop at intersections and then wave the blind pedestrian on. You know who you are. I don’t know, obviously, because I can’t see you, but the people that I’m usually nearby often point this out to me.

2. It’s okay to ask if the person needs assistance.

We may be frustrated but it has nothing to do with you. You won’t hurt our feelings. We don’t like NEEDING help, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need it. Just say “Excuse me, can I help?” But only if it seems a person is lost or confused.

3. Don’t shout at us.

We’re blind. Not deaf. And usually our hearing is our predominant sense. You’ll figuratively blind us by shouting.

4. If a blind person is about to step into something physically dangerous, shout “STOP” with commanding authority. And then be apologetic and humorous afterward. It’s how our cane training is done and so we learn to respond to it.

5. NEVER GRAB A BLIND PERSON.

Offer them your elbow with a verbal cue like “Here’s my arm on your left, if you need it.” The blind person has to govern their own equilibrium, which means they need the flexibility of letting go of you. If you tug them, you also pull them off balance or faster than is comfortable for them to “see” with a cane or foot.

6. Blind people don’t tap the cane for themselves.

The “tap tap” of the cane is usually used only in groups of people to alert you of their coming (though sometimes it is used the brush the cane over uneven terrain that might catch the cane and jab it into our chests). When we walk with a cane, the tip is always aligned to the opposite foot, ACROSS the body diagonally for bodily protection. We then step forward and swipe the cane to the opposite side, along the ground to accurately read the ground a few steps ahead. Tapping the cane actually can remove some of our perception of the land, but we do it for you normies, so you don’t stop dead in front of us and get your ankles bruised by a titanium rod.

7. We obey traffic patterns.

We learn these. And even if we don’t, you aren’t helping us by holding up traffic and honking at us to go ahead and cross. Actually you’re annoying us.

8. Only a small number of visually impaired people are actually COMPLETELY blind.

We are taught to optimize our sight for US. NOT YOU. So if you see a person with a cane who looks completely normal and doesn’t wear sunglasses? Guess what? They’re still partially sighted/legally blind. They’re not less deserving of attention. We wear sunglasses if our eyes are sensitive to sunlight - “photophobia”- like mine. Or we wear them to prevent the embarrassment of the wandering eye. Don’t judge a person’s capability by how they use their cane or their their eyes. Some legally blind people are only blind at night, some at day, some are blind in certain lighting conditions, some can still read with assistance and some can’t visually read at all. There is no uniformity and we optimize for us, not you. You don’t matter. So please don’t do the thing that woman on my flight to LA did and whisper to your friend that you saw me reading my (magnified and adaptive tech phone) and that you’re sure I am only playing blind to get priority boarding. Go fuck yourself with that bullshit.

9. Don’t point.

It really amazes me how many times I’ve said “what’s this?” Or “where’s that?” Only to have someone point. The fuck is wrong with you?

10. Don’t you ever dare touch a service dog unless you believe there is an immediate risk of danger.

11. Proper auditory cues.

You can’t say “it’s at 1 o'clock” for everyone, because guess what guys…not all blind people have seen clock faces! What?! OMG you’re kidding!. Instead give distances in steps, give direction in angles, give directions via landmarks not street signs. I remember one time, my friend Kirsten was asking what a person looked like, and someone said to her, “Well, they’re blond and have a heart shaped face” She said “What’s a heart shape like? And blond is yellow right? That the color of a lemon, right?”

The wrong way: “Oh it’s on Barrett street, about one hundred feet from here, at three o'clock.”

The right way: it’s about fifty paces at a right forty five degree angle from the direction you’re facing, beside a giant open park surrounded by a large metal fence. They may not be able to see the thing, but they can locate things with canes and hands, and get a feel via sound. If you know ground landmarks, like changes in paving, those are also helpful.

12. DONT HAND BLIND PEOPLE A WAD OF CHANGE, you assholes.

Hand them the change first and allow them to put it away, which they do by feel. Then hand them the bills sequentially by denominations so that they can fold and stow these bills in the way that helps them keep track of denominations. THEN hand off the receipt.

13. Don’t ask how they lost their vision.

Don’t be that guy. EVERY GUY. Jesus Christ. Some people are still dealing with the trauma from whatever it is that cost them their sight. I’m not, but I get tired of explaining it to every single fucking person I meet. Don’t say that line “Do you mind if I ask if you were born this way?” It’s none of your business. Stop treating the person like their limitation IS them. You should be helping them through their limitation so that you can GET TO THEM, and get to know the person behind it.

14. If you see a blind person traveling alone at night, and you notice someone watching or casing them, it’s okay to approach the blind person and say “I think you might be in danger. How may I help you?” And then explain the issue.

I have been followed, cased, and tracked. I realized it was happening and prevented it, with some hilarious results, but it happens. Which is why it’s ok for you to be protective of a person, it’s just not ok to be all up in their business.

15. Some blind people wear headphones or earplugs.

These aren’t a “stupid idea”. They’re actually there as a visual aid. What? Well blind people often have very sensitive hearing. Especially to high or low pitch. Many will wear earplugs or headphones to dampen or heighten certain sound values as a visual aid. I personally carry a pair with me everywhere. If I’m on a bus or train, the headphones dampen treble or higher decibels. If I’m in a noisy place like a bar or club, the plugs soften the noise, almost like wearing sunglasses in bright sun.

16. Don’t ask for Braille tutorials.

Not all of us read it. It takes a long time to learn and it’s almost entirely self taught. So if you want to learn, buy a card and get to work.

17. We memorize.

We know the layouts of rooms as instinct. Which means if I walk into a hotel, I am instantly without even thinking about it, running my hands over things, finding switches, marking strides, counting to myself, running my fingers over edges and so forth. This is how I see. So DONT MOVE SHIT. And DONT LEAVE YOUR FUCKING STUFF IN MY PATH.

18. Ray Charles was blind. Not all blind people are Ray Charles.

Stop assuming we all play music. Stop assuming that we all experience things in the same way.

19. Blind people have insomnia.

It comes from not being able to differentiate light from dark. It throws off our circadian rhythm. Meaning it can often interfere with our job, and also that we tend to become creatures of habit in order to avoid difficulty. Don’t break our habits, it throws us off.

20. Give yourself some sensitivity training.

If someone in your family or circle is blind…heck if you’re just a nice person, spend a few hours trying to do everyday tasks with your eyes shut, or put on a pair of fucked up sunglasses, or just give it a shot as you’re at work. See how long you can go before the urge to open your eyes is so powerful and overwhelming that you have to…and then imagine you don’t have a choice. That’s how it feels, every day. In every task. Be patient and kind.

There’s probably a lot more I’m forgetting. Maybe some of my blind peeps can add in?

Some amazing blogs to follow:

Below you will find great blogs which I would like to share with you and I hope you can enjoy them as much as I do too! :)))

Petty Revenge:  The best petty revenge stories of the internet.

Pro Revenge: The best pro revenge stories of the internet.

TIFU; Today I F*cked Up: Addictive stories of f*ck ups.

Scary Stories: Internet`s scariest horror stories are here.

Cuteness Overload: If you like cute animals, this blog is for you.

Shower Thoughts: Amazing ideas on this Tumblr. You will totally love it!

Daily Best Jokes: Really funny jokes and good humor.

Photoshop Battles: Viral photos gone crazy. Results are hilariously fun.

Shitty Ideas: This Tumblr has the shittiest ideas you will ever see.

Explain Like I`m 5: Easy and clear explanations of great questions.

Hairstyles: One of the best hairstyles and beauty blogs on Tumblr.

IG Makeup: One of the best makeup and beauty blogs on Tumblr.

Makeuphall: One of the best makeup and fashion blogs on Tumblr.

If you have free time in your hands, check these amazing blogs. You will not regret. Reblog this to spread the word if you like my blog and my efforts :)

anonymous asked:

Hey do you have any really funny fic you could suggest? I just read 'A week is only seven days' and I was crying it was so funny. I want more!

Hi Nonny!! OH GOD this has been in my drafts for MONTHS and I’m sorry for the delay. I’m guessing you found that fic on my “Go-To Johnlock Fic Rec List”, and it’s totally worth a read since it’s like, one of my all-time fave fics!! I don’t have many fics with the same type of humour, but I hope that a few of these will appease you! They’re more fluffy than anything else, but if I had a chuckle in them, then they will be here :)


  • High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, Ao3) (7,429 w.) - John is stupidly obsessed with Sherlock, Sherlock is adorably clueless, and they’re both dumb idiots. Jealous John and silly misunderstandings.
  • Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice (E, Ao3) (3,897 w.) - Sherlock conveniently finds reasons to try to touch John’s junk. John’s tired of waiting.
  • The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, Ao3) (44,025 w.) - Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants for a case. There are some angsty bits in this, but I did giggle at a few scenes.
  • Life and Death by patemalah21 (K+, ff) (6K+) - Sherlock and John get mugged and injured. The first chapter is angsty, but the second and third chapters, Sherlock has to deal with his worst nemesis yet – a nurse intent on him getting better. *SLIGHT* Sher1011ie in the third chapter, but it feels more BFF’s.
  • You’re a Doctor, Fix me by edken (G, Ao3) (8,342 w.) - Sherlock gets sick and stroppy, John grins and bears it to fix him, and a fluffy happy ending.
  • How to Court Your Blogger by PipMer (K+, ff) (3,124 w.) - Sherlock Tries to court John on significant days in their life. Too bad John is a little bit slow on the draw.
  • Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson by Jessa7 (K+, ffnet) (8,085w.) - Mycroft is suddenly taking an interest in John and Sherlock is not happy. John just goes with it – he’s getting a lot of nice things out of this deal. (*NOT JOHNCROFT, just Mycroft being a meddler).
  • The Devil You Know by PipMer (T, ff) (9K+ w.) - Mycroft flirts with John. Sherlock gets jealous. John’s just along for the ride. Yeah, I also REALLY like Mycroft purposely riling up Sherlock to force him to confess his feelings for John. Another “meddling Mycroft” fic… I seriously love this trope.
  • Cigarettes and Shampoo by laura0506 (K+, ff) (783 w) - John and Sherlock get kicked out of a grocery store. Sherlock has a big mouth.
  • Cabbies by OldBesinaStuff (K, ff) (572 w) - Sherlock expounds and illuminates upon the subject of their current cabbies.
  • The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, ff) (4K+ w.) - Lestrade and John tease Sherlock after the pool incident.
  • Just Admit It by LoyalNerdWP (K+, ff) (2K+) - Sherlock goes home for Christmas and is missing John. One of my faves, it’s more sweet than funny.
  • The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, Ao3) (9,020 w.) - Sherlock and John pretend they’re a couple “for a case”. They’re shocked to discover how much they know about each other. One of my faves.
  • Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock goes shopping for a present for John. 
  • Not Rocket Science by Nitrospira (K+, ff) (2K+ w.) - The boys are handcuffed to a bed while investigating a double homicide on the International Space Station. It’s been awhile since I read this but I remember liking it :D
  • Out on da pull by I-O-U-a-picture (T, ff) (1K+w.) - John can never pull a date, especially with a flatmate like Sherlock.
  • I’m Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, Ao3) (7,672 w.) - This one is really ridiculously silly. Sherlock keeps injuring himself so John will fix him up. John catches on, and it changes shit.
  • Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb  (E, Ao3) (4,578 w.) - Sherlock sets out to make John happy. Happy happy happy.
  • Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, Ao3) (4,647 w.) - Five times John didn’t want to be carried, and one time he did.
  • Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E, Ao3) (3,834 w.) - Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.
  • An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, Ao3) (31,059 w.) - Sherlock is a bat. No other explanation needed.
  • and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, Ao3) (1,662 w.) - Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he’s ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it…
  • The Trouble With Being Subtle. by VictoryCandescence  (NR, Ao3) (5,429 w.) - In which Sherlock experiments, John misinterprets, and everyone else stands back and waits for the light to turn on.
  • The Detective and the Pin-Up by XistentialAngst (T, Ao3) (15,683 w.) - Sally Donovan discovers an old secret John Watson considered long buried - a ten-year old “Men of the Armed Forces” calendar, which has John as a very enticing pin-up for August. The image of John might just change the way everyone sees the unassuming sidekick, even Sherlock Holmes.
  • John’s Drawers by JezebelGoldstone (T, Ao3) (2,646 w.) - Sherlock snoops through John’s drawers and finds something… unexpected.
  • In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, Ao3) (1,835 w.) - John’s BAMFness and Sherlock’s damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.
  • Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, Ao3) (47,709 w.) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results. {{NOTE: Because I always forget: ‘The One With the Shampoo, Steph.’}}
  • Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, Ao3) (39,629 w.) - Christmas time. ‘Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there’s a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn’t have expected anything different.
  • You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, Ao3) (23,584 w.) - Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple.
  • You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, ff)(1K+ w.) - Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft’s words. John’s imagination sometimes goes a little wild.
  • Abhorring the Dull Routine of Existence by ardenteurophile (T, ff) (7K+ w.) - Or, a Week Spent on Artificial Stimulants. Sherlock overdoses on Red Bull, much to John’s dismay. Spin-off fic set before the events of “You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners”.
  • The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, Ao3) (21,691 w.) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.
  • To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G, Ao3) (5,308 w.) - Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow. Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please (this whole series is amazing, and I love it so much).
  • The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, Ao3) (3,614) - In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics (this whole series is really great, I love it!)
  • Vaporized by Catslynw (K, ff) (1K+ w.) - This little number is set soon after A Study in Pink. John has just moved into 221b and is getting to know his flatmate, and his flatmate’s amazing abilities, a little better.
  • Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, ff) (2K+ w.) - In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?
  • The Video Footage by bitchinblackframedglasses (K, ff) (1K+ w.) - What exactly DID Lestrade film Sherlock doing in A Scandal in Belgravia? Sherlock wants to know, and John tells him. Fluff.
  • At Least Make It Interesting by amythedork (K, ff) (2K+ w.) - "You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. For the love of God, if you’re going to leave a message, at least make it an interesting one. If this is Mycroft, then piss off.“ / A series of voicemails John left Sherlock throughout their time together. 
  • Manipulation by sixbynine (K, ff) (2+K w.) - John Watson is not as unobservant as Sherlock thinks, nor is he above using what he knows. Even if it is just to make sure Sherlock eats and sleeps.
  • Bored Games by SparksMayFly (K, ff) (3K+ w.) - Sherlock asks if he can take Reverend Green in for interrogation. John explains that’s not how the game works. 
  • Bored Games by patster223 (K+, ff) (2k+ w.) - Sherlock is bored and John decides that they should play Cluedo. In retrospect, it was a truly awful decision.
  • Three Ways Sherlock Conformed to His Stereotype by Jennistar1 (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - "It’s a hat.” / Urge to roll eyes, quashed. “Yes. I can see that.” / “It’s called a deerstalker.”
  • Tipsy by katkin (K+, ff) (2K+ w.)  “I love everyone in this room,” he announced proudly.“I know you do, buddy,” John replied “Which is why you’re going to clean this carpet in the morning. Because you’re a good friend.” “I am a good friend!” Sherlock agreed.
  • Cards by Caighlee (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock has been without a case for a few days and Molly’s suggested experiment - something with a pig head (ew) - is losing it’s appeal. Can John come up with something that’ll distract Sherlock for a bit longer? And how did John pull off that card trick? Sherlock’ll never know because a magician never tells a secret. Except maybe when faced with a smiling Consulting Detective.
  • Never Have I Ever by Hannelore-Grace (T, ff) (2K+) - In which the Yarders, Sherlock, and John play the time-honored drinking game.
  • Surety by hudders (G, Ao3) (2,477 w.) - Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.
  • Never Have I Ever by hudders-and-hiddles (E, Ao3) (10,655 w.) - John and Sherlock tag along for the Met’s weekly night out, where the evening’s chosen drinking game is Never Have I Ever. Sherlock is reluctant to join in until he realizes he can learn all kinds of new things about John, but he forgets that John might learn a thing or two about him as well.
  • Cabin Fever by A Wandering Minstrel (K+, ff) (6K+ w.) - A massive storm keeps John trapped in Baker Street with a half-blind (for science!), very bored Sherlock Holmes.
  • Spilt Milk by Erin Giles (K+, ff) (2K+ w.) - John comes back from a trip to the supermarket only to take a trip up the stairs. Both shopping and blood are spilled leaving Sherlock to play the role of Doctor.
  • God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.
  • Tidying Up by mattsloved1 (K+, ff) (951w.) – John comes home to a thoroughly cleaned flat. Or so it seems.

Feel free to add your own ficlets and self promos!! I love all the funny fics!