the real australia

I have fallen down the "humans are space orcs/earth is space Australia" hole

I see a lot about humans being scary durable and cute and they bond readily to other creatures type of posts. But like what if the aliens don’t understand that we can bond with other creatures sometimes MORE than other humans….

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Zůrłtg is “best friends” with human-trixie, their crew first got their human 7 cycles ago and it has been a fast friendship, humans are infamous for their bonding ability, but Zůrłtg didn’t know that they sometime bond more with one person then others. Zůrłtg was honored when human-trixie bestowed upon zem the title “best-friend”. Human-trixie joined the crew as there botanist, which might be part of there friendship as Zůrłtg is made mostly out of cellulose. She has been a true asset to the crew, as she has saved many a fellow crew member from harm with her bravery and courage.
Zůrłtg remembers unwillingly the time she pushed Captain Cul out the way of a carnivorous plant only to be devoured herself, and when all thought she had perished bust out of the bloom with the plants brain stem in hand.
Human-trixie is also adorable, she is small and kind and smart. So if this is what humans are like it no wonder everyone was so excited to be meeting with Space Crew Valen as they also has a human aboard. Maybe they will be lucky and their humans will mate and they can have baby humans!
Unfortunately for Zůrłtg the Valen crew human was not like human-trixie. He was not as small as human-trixie or having pleasing brown “hair” from his head, in fact he seemed to always be making the face human-trixie makes when she is displeased, though not nearly as adorable.
But ze tried not to judge a book by its cover as human-trixie would say and was extatic to meet him.
Even more unfortunate, the human did not choose to bond with zem as human-trixie did, in fact quite the opposite, this human, human-dave, did not like zem at all, calling zem a (swear word) jolly green giant and that he should (swear word) off.
OH NO this is terrible!!! Human-Dave will tell human-trixie not to like zem anymore and he will lose his “best-friend”. If ze had tearducts he would be crying like human-trixie when her pet-hamster-walnut died. Human-trixie must never know this or she will surely not like zem anymore!
To zes dismay human-trixie knew something was wrong the second that she saw his drooping mumds. Zůrłtg ended up telling her everything as ze is not as adept at the act of deception as her.
Zůrłtg watched with horor as human-trixie got really really still, “he said what?” she spoke with a stone voice so unlike her normal happy squeaky tones.
She got up.
This is it.
She is abandoning zem. She told zem to follow him as she walked calmly to the common room where the visiting crew was.
There must be a ceremony to leave a “best-friend” that another human must witness Zůrłtg thought. Or maybe she wanted say hurtful things with human-dave at him. Zůrłtgs mumds were dragging on the floor at this point.
Much to Zůrłtgs surprised as he watched human-trixie mall human-dave screaming swears words with a violence that none of either crews thought possible for such a small adorable being.
Zůrłtg was still disappointed about not getting any human babies but ze was releaved that ze was the “best-friend” of such a fierce creature.

So Dan painted his nails with glitter polish eh?

I for one can’t wait to see his reaction trying to remove that shizzle from his nails- glitter polish goes on your nails and stays for at least 3 months. but he does look lovely 

Humans are huge scary nerds

So as humanity progresses we have all these ideas of what space travel might be like. What if we just mash everything we have made up in science fiction into space armadas. I guarantee one person will put their own body in an exact replica of General Grievous’ body and be the captain of a Super Star destroyer with several other human space crafts like the USS Enterprise and fighter jet style craft. And then what if Humans are the only ones to come up with the idea of a Death Star? Humans become known as the Cyborg death people who can’t die and literally have the power to destroy planets with their moon size super weapons.

At the same time we want to literally befriend everything so the aliens kinda just submit like “yeah ok don’t anger the chill world ending nerds”.

TL;DR Humans shove a clusterfuck of science fiction into real life

Dan and Phil are using tumblr more and I’m 100% all for it. yaass, keep posting selfies and power couple photography, it’s nourishing my crops and clearing my skin

flickr

51 Arbury Park Rd, Aldgate by Ryan Smith
Via Flickr:

Age, work and my face

I received a few messages asking for my age, what is my IRL work and if I could post a picture of myself (for some reasons I don’t understand)…

Well, I turned 24 recently (Yeah, I’m 24 and still write fanfiction…whatever), I’m a freelance sound recordist which is pretty self-explanatory, I record sounds and voices (for films and TV…which means I travel a lot, for exemple, I’m moving to Australia next August for at least a year)  and this is me (Look at how cool I think I am, surrounded by small little trees…wut) :