Cat and Mouse
Chapter II. So Close
My friend once asked me, “How much can a person bottle inside his or her heart before all the truths leak through into open air… for the world to know?”
I didn’t know how to answer the question, for I didn’t know what were truths and what were lies – nor did I find meaning in a useless organ – the heart.
※ ※ ※
You returned to SPY Headquarters the morning after your long breakdown. A feeling of nausea and fatigue rambled its way throughout your body. You felt weak and tired, but deep down you knew you had no right to show your pain. With a forced on smile, you entered your leader’s room, apologizing for your delayed return. You could sense his displeasure by the look in his eyes. Eyes were the absolute number one betrayers of any living organism – any…except for assassins. Momentarily, you struggled to figure out why Leader had shown you his discomfort. It was new to you. Sure, Leader always treated you differently from the rest of the organization – but emotions were something forbidden to all.
“You caught that, didn’t you?” he spoke, breaking the silence.
You nodded, a little reluctant to bluntly tell him your concerns. However, your curiosity got the better of you, and for the first time you questioned your leader. He laughed, shaking his head.
“________, do you know what the purpose of our eyes and lips are?” Leader asked, with a smile.
“No purpose,” you immediately answered.
“What about the heart?” he questioned, with a serious tone.
No purpose. You opened your lips to reply, but you didn’t know what to say. The heart did have a purpose. It’s just that you didn’t know what the purpose was. In fact, it was rare for you to even think about the topic. Suddenly, you could hear a “thump thump” rhythm. It was loud and tense – piercing your ears every second that passed. Unintentionally, your hand had made its way to your chest. Thump. Thump. Thump. But I am an assassin.
“No purpose,” you finally answered. No purpose…none.
“Good. I thought you had forgotten what I had taught you. You are property of SPY – property of mine. I tell you to live – you live. I tell you to steal – you steal. I tell you to kill – you kill. I tell you to die – you die,” he yelled, slamming the table.
Your eyes widened. Leader knew something.
“GET OUT!” he hollered, throwing a manila folder at you.
You felt a shudder run down your spine. Hesitantly, you leaned over and picked up the folder before leaving. For the next five minutes, you allowed yourself to digest Leader’s sudden temper. You knew he found out about something – but it killed you to guess what it was. Confusion was murdering the small life you had – it chewed up the last pieces of your consciousness. You felt worried – and disgusted – and sad – and happy – a mix of emotions. Assassin – no emotions. You knew you needed to suppress your emotions, but you couldn’t. Sure, you could act dead on the outside, but deep down…somewhere…you knew you possessed emotions.
“_______,” a calm voice called.
You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Only two people called you by your birth name – Leader and Park Chanyeol.
“Chanyeol,” you identified.
“You all right?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Do you know why Leader was so angry?” you questioned, walking side by side with him.
“Yeah, some what. Before you came home this morning, Yoobin went into Leader’s room. After that, I never saw her again,” Chanyeol informed.
Home. What a joke.
“She got trashed?” you asked bluntly.
“Guess so,” Chanyeol sighed.
“Who was her target?”
“Yeah, heard she’s pretty darn hot,” Chanyeol laughed.
You glared at him, “You wanna die that badly?”
“I was just kidding, I only have eyes for you,” he chuckled.
Eyes. What are they for?
You remained quiet, all too used to Chanyeol’s personality. In fact, you learned to never take him seriously. Sometimes you wondered how he managed to stay so optimistic when he was also an assassin. You didn’t understand. But somehow, every time he was on a mission, his attitude would change. He’d turn ice cold.
Wordlessly, you leaned in to hug him. He gave you a small chuckle as he played with your hair. Burying your head into his chest, you began to cry.
“Aigoo,_______ah. Shh,” he hushed, pulling you into your room and locking the door.
Right, assassins = no emotions.
“What happened last night? Whom am I killing?” he questioned, bringing you into his arms again.
Choking from tears, you stuttered, “I-I killed a baby. She was so young – so cute – so pure. I tried to touch her, but I couldn’t! I let her go. I-.”
Before you could say anymore, you felt warm lips gently place onto your forehead.
Through out these years, you have earned many enemies. You had enemies from SPY – from your targets’ families – and from cops – but you had Chanyeol. He was the only reason you wanted to live. Every time you were in need of help, he’d be there…you knew he l-loved you. You knew it – but you couldn’t…bring yourself to love him the way he deserved to be loved.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I know…” you choked on your tears.
You loved the way he stroked your hair. It made you feel like a baby. You loved the way it felt when you hugged him. You loved the way he kissed your forehead. You loved the way he smiled. You loved the way he looked at you with those caring eyes. You loved the way he always tried to make you laugh. You loved the way he would go against the whole SPY Organization just because one brat called you a “slut”. You loved his devotion to you. But you couldn’t love him – and you hated yourself for not being able to do so.
“Sor-,” you began but were cut short.
He placed his lips on top of yours. It lasted a mere two seconds, and for those two seconds you froze like a statue. You were surprised at the contact, but you weren’t annoyed by it. Chanyeol gave you a sad smile, kissed your forehead again and began to leave. You watched silently, begging yourself to move to stop him, but you didn’t. Instead he stopped, inches from the door and turned around to look at you.
“Never say sorry to me. I feel blessed just to be here with you,” he said sincerely, “I’ll make you a glass of warm milk so you’ll sleep better.”
I love you. Say it. Say it.
“I can’t,” you whispered to yourself.
Sighing, you shook your head and picked up the manila folder that Leader had given you. Inside were pictures of a blue crystal called MIDNIGHT. It was being displayed at the Crystal Museum this morning. Quickly, you scanned for the time schedules. Your eyes widened. The museum displays it at ten. Since you were to steal the crystal before the actual display, you had less than two hours to prepare.
Jumping from your bed, you ran over to your closet for a new set of clothes. Black. Black. Black. Hah. You laughed inwardly at your selection. For the first time, you realized the only color in your world was black. It wasn’t your favorite color – you didn’t have one. In fact, you couldn’t have one when you were only exposed to one color 24/7. With a sigh, you began to change into your black top and black pants. As you fastened your weapons onto your belt, you carefully reread the information in the manila folder. As soon as you were ready, you set your timer on before storming to your door.
But you froze in place.
Never say sorry to me. I feel blessed just to be here with you,” he said sincerely, “I’ll make you a glass of warm milk so you’ll sleep better.”
You swallowed in guilt. Ditching Chanyeol became one of your expertises. Quickly, you dug in your drawer for a post it and scribbled down “Going on Mission”. You cringed. Cold-hearted. I am so cold-hearted. Growling at your subconscious, you decided to add in “Thanks, I’ll be back soon!” With that, you walked out of your door, prepared to execute another crime.
When you got to the Crystal Museum it was 9:30. You had to admit, you felt pressured – even though you usually completed missions in less than five minutes. There was a bad omen in the air. Your heart constantly had a “thump thump” rhythm. You grimaced in disturbance.
Scanning the perimeter of the Crystal Museum, you noticed two security guards in the front – not a threat at all. Tourists were happily chatting with one another about the upcoming Crystal Display Event.
Just as you were about to walk up to the entrance, you felt your heart skip a beat. From the distance, you spotted a silver Mercedes.
You smirked, excitement written all over your face. Quietly, you watched as Luhan sat in his car, scanning the area for any sign of danger. His face was so serious – a little anger could be seen. You giggled inwardly.
You cursed under your breath. It was now or never. With a pair of sunglasses on, you nonchalantly stalked toward the entrance, acting as one of the many tourists. The security guards eyed you suspiciously, but let you through when they saw your very innocent smile. You didn’t know how – but you knew a pair of eyes was locked onto you.
Come get me, Sergeant Lu.
As soon as you walked into the museum, you could hear footsteps following you. But you don’t turn around – instead you began to search through your memory. In the manila folder, you remember it detailed that MIDNIGHT was located at the 25th floor, room 520. You headed toward the elevator. Tapping your feet, you waited impatiently for the elevator door to open.
“_______ ______,” a very familiar voice called. Okay, so you lied before about only having two people call you by your birth name.
You didn’t turn around but replied, “Hey, Sergeant Lu. What wind blows you here today?”
“Wherever you are, I’ll be there,” he spoke – coldly.
Finally, you turned around to meet his eyes, “If it wasn’t for your very cold voice, I would have labeled your quote ‘romantic’.”
“Look, I know you’re here not for a good reason,” he replied, a little offensive.
“Ah, are you judging me?” you joked, and laughed as he gritted his teeth.
The elevator door opened and people came out. As soon as the door began to close, you slipped in. Luhan’s eyes widened.
“HEY KITTY, COME CATCH THE MOUSE!” you hollered, as the door closed fully….NOT.
Somehow, just somehow the door reopened. You came face to face with Luhan. Damn. He calmly stepped into the elevator and pressed on the “close door” button.
“Sorry, please take the next elevator,” he apologized to the waiting tourists.
As the elevator began moving, Luhan eyed you from head to toe.
“Wondering why the elevator reopened?” Luhan mocked.
You made no vocal response, but narrowed your eyes.
“I knew you would try to cause trouble today, so earlier I asked the security for assistance,” he explained, not taking his eyes off you.
With a sigh, you put your hands up, “I surrender; the cat caught the mouse.”
Luhan raised his brow at you. He took out a set of handcuffs and slowly walked over. However, as soon as he was close enough, you gave him a hard blow on the stomach. Using his back as support, you jumped up to the elevator vent. Hastily, you threw the cover off and poked your head out. Wires surrounded the whole place – not to mention the elevator was still moving. For once, you felt a little scared for your worthless life. Slowly, you propped yourself out of the elevator and stood on the roof, ready to jump to the nearest platform.
“Are you INSANE!? That’s dangerous!” Luhan called from inside the elevator.
Shaking your head, you leapt across and landed safely onto a platform. You smirked. Just as you were about to climb into another elevator, you spotted the very persistent police climbing out from the previous elevator to follow you. With determination written across his face, Luhan attempted to jump onto the platform you were on. Your eyes widened. Thump. Thump. You were scared – so, so scared that you thought your heart was going to pop out of your chest socket. The next few seconds felt like years.
Luhan takes one foot off the ground.
He takes the next foot off the ground.
You clinched your fist and lean forward.
You felt your heart scream when he…
With all the strength you could summon, you hovered over and grabbed onto his hand, willing him not to let go. Whimpering in pain, a wire began cutting at your wrist. Slowly, your hands began to slip. No. Your grasp tightened around Luhan’s hand. Your heart was beating at such a rapid speed; you almost willed it to stop. There was just too much for you to absorb.
Let go. You’ll fall too, if you hold on. Just let go.
A tear dropped from your grayish-blue orbs. Blood dripped down your wounded wrist as you stared down the twenty-five floors below both of you. Let go. You closed your eyes, frightened at the decision you were about to make.
“S-sorry,” you whispered. Fate is so unfair.
Suppressing your tears, you slowly let go. He’s going to die.
“NO!” you hollered, looking down – though knowing there was a slim chance anyone would survive a twenty five story fall.
You gasped, shocked. About five stories below you, a honey brown haired girl threw her arms around Luhan, hugging him tightly. An air rescue cushion sat half deflated below them.
“Thank God, you’re safe!” the girl cried out, placing her lips on Luhan’s.
You cringed; a sour feeling lingered in the pit of your stomach. Momentarily, you watched the couple embrace each other. Why can’t I? With your back leaning against a thick wire, you curled up and began to cry. You tried to kill Luhan. You let him fall, just like how you let the baby fall. Why? Why?! You clawed at your hair.
“Luhan, you hate you! You s-scared me! I thought I’d lose you!” Luhan’s girlfriend said in between her sobs.
You felt so insecure – so darn insecure. You didn’t know what you were doing anymore. You just didn’t know yourself. Taking a deep breath, you blinked away your silent tears.
Through gritted teeth you whispered to yourself, “You’re an assassin, you have a mission to complete”.
Eight minutes. You cursed under your breath, weakly. Your wrist was numb from the deep cut, but you ignored it. Grunting, you climbed into an elevator. With a dagger, the metal screeched as you forced the door opened. Racing with time was not fun. You hated this feeling.
All because of you.
As you reached room 520, you harshly stabbed two security guards in the center of their chest. They collapsed in front of you, their blood splattered all over. Quickly, you kicked down the door and rushed inside. A beautiful crystal sat inside a clear box, its purity glowed in its reflections against the windows. For a moment you were too mesmerized by its beauty to care about anything else.
But a voice brought you back into reality, “Freeze, _______ _______, you are under arrest.”
You turned around to see an exhausted Luhan. You’re safe. A smile filled your lips – only to turn into a sad smile at the sight of a gun.
You forced on a smirk.
“I am surprised you’re alive,” you faked a mocking laugh.
He glared at you, his gun held tightly in one hand as he advanced forward.
“How can you act so unaffected when your hands hold the blood of so many innocent people,” he questioned.
You forgot to mention that my wrist held the blood I sacrificed for you.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you!” you spoke coldly.
Luhan, how can you ask me something I don’t know myself?
Your heart felt weak – as if it had been stabbed by five hundred needles, and then splattered with vinegar.
Slowly, you began stepping backwards, toward the crystal. With a quick stroke, you broke the glass case that imprisoned the delicate object. Witnessing your move, the sergeant immediately rushed to stop you. However, before he caught up, you already had the crystal in your hands. The pure reflections died, leaving the room to nothing but pitch-black darkness.
My bloody hands had contaminated it. Pitiful.
Luhan kicked you in the stomach, sending you flying. Your head hit hard against the wall and dizziness took over. Your body felt exhausted. Your brain was about to explode. Your heart….it didn’t matter. You clutched tightly onto the crystal as your tattered body slipped down the wall. Oh, how much you just wanted to lie down and not have to carry so many burdens. You weakly grimaced when Luhan grabbed your wounded wrist, attempting to make you let go of the crystal.
“You aren’t going anywhere this time,” Luhan spoke with determination.
Your eyes began to water from the pain extracted from your wrist and heart. And even though the pain was torturous, you didn’t flinch at all. If only time stopped. If only he wasn’t a police. If only I…I wasn’t an assassin. Luhan hovered over you, your faces only inches apart. So close.
“You kissed her back,” you whispered, confusing both Luhan and yourself.
“What?” he questioned, his grip still strong as ever.
“That girl, she kissed you and you kissed her back,” you tried to make sense, but failed miserably.
“Seyu?” he replied, his grip relaxing a bit, “S-she’s my girlfriend.”
“I know,” you answered, sadly, “You love her.”
Before he could respond, you placed your lips on top of his. A small part of you begged him to return the kiss, even though you knew it’d never happen.
Luhan froze in place at the contact.
You don’t love me.
As a tear fell down your eyes, your wrist was freed, dropping effortlessly onto the floor. Lifting your other hand up, you touched his face and your lips separated from his.
As you stared into his captivating eyes, you softly whispered, “Becareful, SPY’s after Seyu.”
With that said, you left the shocked Luhan to face an empty wall. In a second, you had exited the room, running away from security guards, from police, and from Luhan.
You’re in my arms, and all the world is calm.
The music playing on for only two.
So close, together.
And when I’m with you
So close, to feeling alive.
A life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die.
So I bid my goodbye
And never knew.
So close, was waiting,
Waiting here with you.
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted
to hold you so close.
So close to reaching
That famous happy end.
This one’s not pretend.
And now you’re beside me,
And look how far we’ve come.
So far we are. So close…
Oh how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close to reaching
that famous happy end,
And almost believing,
this one’s not pretend.
Let’s go on dreaming
for we know we are…
so close, so close
and still so far…
a/n: :3 HELLO MY UNICORNS!! hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It’ll get better, I promised! Idk who I ship more, the main character with luhan or chanyeol…hmm…-the struggles-
Anyway, if you don’t already know, I’m temporarily opening my scenario request. If you don’t mind me taking ages to complete them shoot me a prompt in my ask :D If you want to read about other requests, you can here: Stories.
Thanks!! 8) See ya tmr!!!