On this date 11 years ago, I sat down at my parent’s archaic PC, logged on to Myspace to feed my 2 virtual pet llamas (Foo-Foo Flangeflaps and Dalai Llama), when a new message appeared. This message was from a random Glaswegian girl, who was also into DJing, the same music as me, and was clearly intrigued by my subtle profile picture (See above, R.I.P Maurice). She had good banter and we quickly struck up a firm virtual friendship. We always refer to this as our ‘sliding doors’ moment. If I hadn’t been online at the same time as her, then the chances of us ever stumbling across the other’s profile were minute, especially considering that I lived in Portsmouth, and she lived in Glasgow. It’s worked out pretty well for us! I’d like to thank Tom for inventing Myspace, and @weasal for slacking off at work to message me. Happy Friendiversary Weasalicious xxx 🌈❤
APPEARANCE: I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing (used to have ;_;) I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces There is something I would change about the way I look PERSONALITY: My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would like to change about my personality ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner (depends on distance tbh ;;;) I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIP: I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them (admitted feelings but both of us didn’t get into a r/s bc we didn’t want to change) I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I call a ‘best friend’ I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that is hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year
- You get to 18, then don’t age at all until you meet your soulmate
- you are born with a few unique tattoos, which only your soulmate shares. When they die, your tattoos burn off
- whenever your soulmate feels an intense emotion, you feel the opposite. They just lost their parents to a war? You’re having the time of your life, despite knowing the reason why you’re so happy is because your soulmate is dying inside
- their signature appears on the back of your neck at a random point in time
- their last name appears on your wrist at a random point in time
- streaks of their hair colour start to appear in your hair and vice versa
- one of your eyes slowly starts to change to match theirs and vice versa
- when you look in the mirror at a random point in your life, you see them. Even if it’s after they’ve died
- everybody knows your soulmate but you. It’s illegal to say
had a dream last night that the 12th season of always sunny came out and the first episode was called “the gang cashes in on the twilight franchise” and the whole episode was the gang filming a really terrible twilight parody and Dee and Dennis played Bella and Edward and they both wore really ugly cheap wigs. Mac was Jacob and Frank was Bella’s dad. Charlie just appeared in frame at random while hissing directly at the camera. Hillary Clinton had a cameo as the ruler of a vampire Mafia and there was a ten minute commentary with the cast at the end where they all talked about how nice she was to work with
- “You look so hot in that babe.” Nursey commented, taking in Dex’s outfit. Admittedly, he always found Dex hot, but Dex in his jumper was definitely the hottest thing ever.
- Especially blushing Dex in Nursey’s jumper.
- “You’re just saying that cos I’m wearing your clothes.” Dex says, trying to change the subject from himself. “Its the jumper. Its, like, absorbed your hotness, and now it makes you think I’m hot wearing it”
- “Please, you’re way hotter than me in that jumper babe” Nursey argues, sitting up in the bed.
- “Nah, you’re way hotter than me.” Dex argues, rolling his eyes. He begins to get ready for bed as they talk.
- "No way Dex. You’re the hot one in this relationship. Anyone can see that.” Nursey says, pulling back the blankets for Dex to get into bed.
- “Seriously? Ask anyone Derek, they’d agree you’re hotter” Dex said, as he cuddled up to Nursey.
- “They wouldn’t. And you’ll see that tomorrow when we ask people” Nursey said, wrapping an arm around Dex as he spoke.
- Dex didn’t reply, just huffed a laugh, before falling asleep.
- Nursey quickly grabs his phone, and texts the guys individually: "Gonna ask the team a question tomorrow. The answer is Dex. I’ll owe you big time. Don’t tell him I asked you”.
- He falls asleep after sending it.
- Next morning, Dex waked up before Nursey. He texts each of his teammates individually: “Need you to answer Nursey when he and I ask something later. I’ll owe you so much. Don’t tell him I asked you.”
- After sending it, he wakes Nursey, and they get ready for team breakfast.
- At breakfast the team is speculating what the messages are about. That quickly shut up when Dex and Nursey show up.
- 10 minutes into breakfast, Nursey asks The Question.
“So,” he starts, “who do you guys think is hotter? Me or Dex?”
- Nursey sits back, confident the team will answer Dex.
- Dex sips his coffee, confident they’ll answer Nursey.
- “Um..” Tango starts, breaking the silence “Dex is.”
- Dex nearly chokes on his coffee.
- “Definitely Dex.” Whiskey agrees with a nod, before turning his attention back to his pancakes.
- “No way bros.” Ransom argues. “Nursey is clearly hotter.”
- “No offense Dex, but Nursey is 100% hotter.” Holster agrees, smiling at Nursey innocently.
- Nursey is giving him a death glare for betraying him like this.
- “Um, are y'all serious?” Bitty asks from his end of the table. “Look at those freckles! That hair! Those eyes! Dex is hotter than Nursey”
- “Bitty. Bits. Are we seeing the same people? Nursey is way hotter” Lardo’s argues, stifling a laugh.
- “Hang on, that’s me, Rans, ‘n’ Lardo for Nursey. And Bitty, Tango, and Whiskey for Dex. So, its a tie?” Holster says.
- “Chowder hasn’t voted yet” Tango points out, and the team turn to Chowder.
- “Chowder. The tie breaker. Who is hotter?” Ransom asks.
- Okay these are his two best friends, and he’d be lying if he never thought “oh Nursey looks good” or “Dex is good looking” but choosing might offend one of them. Plus, voting one over the other means he’s not doing the favour the other asked him for and that’s so mean!
- Something must show on his face, cos Dex and Nursey let him off the hook.
- “Its chill C. We’ll ask other people see who wins.”
- Chowder has never been more relieved in his life.
- Dex heads to class, and Nursey promises to meet him after.
- Dex asks his friends in that class to say Nursey is hotter than him when asked later. He’ll help them with their coding in return.
- After class, Nursey shows up. The Question is asked of 5 of Dex’s friends.
- 4 answer Nursey is hotter
- The one secretly (or not so secretly….) crushing on Dex says he’s hotter.
- So that’s 7 for Nursey being hotter, 4 for Dex being hotter.
- So Dex is winning at being right while Nursey is winning at being hot.
- Nursey will not allow that to happen. No way. Dex is hotter, and he’ll prove it
- By bribing his study group. He’ll do most of the work for the project, and credit them, if they agree Dex is hotter.
- They’re not about to turn down this deal, and all 5 of them agree with Nursey - Dex is hotter.
- Votes for Dex being hotter: 8
- Votes for Nursey being hotter: 7
- At this stage they each start a tally, which they’ll count up at the end of the day.
- Dex bribes their server at Annie’s to compliment Nursey and say he’s hotter, by giving them extra tips.
- Nursey promises to help his classmates with their poetry if they vote Dex as hotter.
- Dex offers so many people free repairs for a month for voting Nursey as hotter.
- Nursey buys lunch for the volleyball team for voting Dex.
- Dex promises to tutor half the freshman in coding for their votes for Nursey.
- End of the day they return to the Haus, and ask Chowder to count up and announce the results of who’s hotter.
every single time some public event approaches and louis is attending, random pap pics of these people and that poor baby appear. when nothing involving louis happens, they are literally silenced and disappear from every social media and they come back only when he needs to appear somewhere or promote something. and people never wonder why this happens?
“I’m never going to get this!” Dex exclaimed, slamming the baking tray down onto the counter.
“Of course you will sweetie,” Bitty reassured him, picking up some of the cookies that had fallen. “It just takes practice.” Dex said, as he sat down at the kitchen table. “Why can’t I make some cookies?”
“Maybe we could try somethin’ else? And come back to these vegetarian peanut butter cookies?” Bitty suggested.
“No! I have to get these right Bitty! I have to!” Dex said. He hid his face in his hands, and missed the look Bitty was giving him.
Sunday has been appearing carved into random citizens’ flesh. All of the citizens with Sunday on them have reportedly been experiencing apathy, stomach pain, and sudden bursts of violence where they attempt to tear the flesh from those around them. Apparently using their hands and teeth and an impossible strength to dismember anyone who may be close. Everyone, please be wary of those with stomach pain. And for your own safety, keep more than your usual distance from strangers