the rabbit says

listen i got a rabbit when i was the ripe age of eight years old. originally named him button bc that was my old rabbits name and i was convinced if i just gave him that name the spirit of button would live on in him (rip in peace tiny friend) but after a while he chewed threw the fuckin lawn mower wire so my eight year old self called that sucker chompy. now i dont kno if you kno but rabbits are supposed to live like six to eight years as a pet, and before that button had kicked the proverbial fuckin bucket after a few months so we weren’t expecting the situation we’re currently in. chompy, as it turns out, gives absolutely 0 fucks what any rabbit website says. i am nearly twenty years old and this little dude just wont quit. you bet ur bottom dollar i go out every single mornin rain or shine to let his sorry ass out of the hutch so he can eat the grass, chase the birds and make my mum gnash her teeth and cry bc we cant plant shit bc he’ll straight up just devour any plant he finds. eleven years. this fucker is eleven years old. im pretty sure he’s just running on straight up spite at this point bc everyone i speak to in my family is like ‘is that rabbit still going?????’ you better FUCKIN believe that rabbit is tearin shit up in my back garden to this day. but now im in this situation where i tell ppl i have a rabbit and theyre like ‘ooo whats his name??’ and i, a nineteen year old, have to look them dead in the eye and say chompy. the ridiculous fuckin name i gave him eleven years ago. what a world 

Wait, what did you just do?

final boss of the campaign, everyone is low on health and the boss keep changing into newer and stronger forms. Then suddenly, i had an idea.

Tiefling Druid (me): I cast polymorph on the Creeper and turn it into a rabbit.

DM: ….. it’s resistant to basically everything.

Druid : Is it a shapechanger?

DM: …… no…….

Druid: Then i can polymorph it for an hour, or until it gets hit. Roll it’s Wis saving throw.

DM: (rolls) It fails, everyone else is suddenly caught off guard as this massive monster is turned into a small white rabbit.

Orc Barbarian: Where’d it go?

Druid: (points at the rabbit) Look! There it is!

Barbarian: What? Behind the rabbit?

Druid: No! It IS the rabbit!

10

I’m working on a new book about all the wise/funny/inspiring sayings people have from around the world! There’s gonna be over 100 :O
A bunch of you helped with the research, you guys are the best, so here are a few samples.

Posting new preview pages every day over on instagram too! 
So come see ‘em all!

I heard it’s SNS Week and it’s AU day…

Wonderland AU with Sasuke as the Queen of Hearts and Naruto as the Mad Hatter.