the rabbit says

listen i got a rabbit when i was the ripe age of eight years old. originally named him button bc that was my old rabbits name and i was convinced if i just gave him that name the spirit of button would live on in him (rip in peace tiny friend) but after a while he chewed threw the fuckin lawn mower wire so my eight year old self called that sucker chompy. now i dont kno if you kno but rabbits are supposed to live like six to eight years as a pet, and before that button had kicked the proverbial fuckin bucket after a few months so we weren’t expecting the situation we’re currently in. chompy, as it turns out, gives absolutely 0 fucks what any rabbit website says. i am nearly twenty years old and this little dude just wont quit. you bet ur bottom dollar i go out every single mornin rain or shine to let his sorry ass out of the hutch so he can eat the grass, chase the birds and make my mum gnash her teeth and cry bc we cant plant shit bc he’ll straight up just devour any plant he finds. eleven years. this fucker is eleven years old. im pretty sure he’s just running on straight up spite at this point bc everyone i speak to in my family is like ‘is that rabbit still going?????’ you better FUCKIN believe that rabbit is tearin shit up in my back garden to this day. but now im in this situation where i tell ppl i have a rabbit and theyre like ‘ooo whats his name??’ and i, a nineteen year old, have to look them dead in the eye and say chompy. the ridiculous fuckin name i gave him eleven years ago. what a world 

  • Chase: So what's your excuse?
  • Gert: For?
  • Chase: Acting the way you do.
  • Gert: I don't like to do what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?
  • Chase: So you ruin their expectations right from the start and then you're covered?
  • Gert: Something like that.
  • Chase: Then you screwed up.
  • Gert: How?
  • Chase: You never disappointed me.
Wait, what did you just do?

final boss of the campaign, everyone is low on health and the boss keep changing into newer and stronger forms. Then suddenly, i had an idea.

Tiefling Druid (me): I cast polymorph on the Creeper and turn it into a rabbit.

DM: ….. it’s resistant to basically everything.

Druid : Is it a shapechanger?

DM: …… no…….

Druid: Then i can polymorph it for an hour, or until it gets hit. Roll it’s Wis saving throw.

DM: (rolls) It fails, everyone else is suddenly caught off guard as this massive monster is turned into a small white rabbit.

Orc Barbarian: Where’d it go?

Druid: (points at the rabbit) Look! There it is!

Barbarian: What? Behind the rabbit?

Druid: No! It IS the rabbit!

鶴さんの恩返し~愛が深い彼~ (Tsuru-san no ongaeshi 〜Ai ga fukai kare〜)

Rabbit Candy has announced the continuation of their Otona no Meruhen series! This time, however, their fairy tales will be pulled from Japanese folklore rather than Western folklore (thus the 和 appended onto the series name).   

Synopsis (Paraphrased):

One day, you rescue a crane ensnared in a trap.

That night, a beautiful man comes to your humble abode, where you live alone. The beauty turns out to be the crane that you helped in the afternoon, and has apparently come to express his gratitude, stating his desire to return the favor.

Even though you are naturally in disbelief, you realize that the crane man is still nursing the injury he sustained to his leg, and can’t go home alone by himself…

And thus, being kind and compassionate, you agree to temporarily harbor him at your home until he recovers, but…

CV: 切木Lee (Shingaki Tarusuke)

Release Date: October 18th, 2017.