the queen of mulch

NMS Pick-Up Lines

Izumi (Nerd Senpai):

-“Ah, thank goodness I have my library card with me. I can’t stop checking you out.”

-“If you were a book, I’d need my glasses, because you’re definitely fine print.”

-“You’re a dictionary. You add meaning to my otherwise dull life.”

Yuu (Young Senpai):

-“Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute! Together, we’d be pretty cute!”

-“Are you a bunny from the animal shelter? Cuz I wanna take you home with me to cuddle!”

-“Owch! My tooth hurts…cuz you’re soooo sweet!”

Ren (Lazy Senpai):

-“You like napping? Me too. We should try it together sometime…”

-“Pinch me, I must be dreaming. This is too good to be real…you’re talking to me…”

-“I think I’ve finally met the girl of my dreams.”

Touya (Art Club Senpai):

-“I just…find myself just drawn to you. Will you Vincent Van Gogh out with me?”

-“Aren’t you the model from my figure-drawing class? I’d remember your face anywhere.”

-“Nice to meet you. I would shake your hand, but the art gallery rules say to not touch the masterpieces.”

Hajime (School Festival Senpai):

-“I got stopped the other day for trying to bring these guns (points to biceps) to a festival.”

-“Hey, can you guess what I’m wearing? It’s the big smile you gave me.”

-“I can’t hear you over the taiko drums! Write down your number for me to catch up later?”

Reiji (Science Lab Senpai):

-“Can I be the enzyme to your substrate? I swear I can feel the biochemistry between us.”

-“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are super Cu-Te!”

-“Stop, drop, and roll, cuz you, girl, are on fire like the school science lab!”

Shun (Gamer Senpai):

-“Mario is red, Sonic is blue. Press start to join and be my Player 2!”

-“Do you like Nintendo? Cuz I think Wii would look good together.”

-“Wanna leave the lobby and go into a private match? My treat.”

Souma (Gourmet Club Senpai):

-“What’s on today’s menu? Why, me-n-u, of course!”          

-“Anyone can sit here and buy you drinks. I’ll make you an entire 5 course dinner.”

-“You and I would brie perfect. Life would be feta if we were togetha. We’ll be a grate couple.”

Wakatoshi (Delinquent Senpai):

-“You’re definitely a girl worth fighting for.”

-“Seeing you for the first time made me reevaluate all of my life choices.”

-“Girl, if you were a chicken you’d be impeccable.”

Makoto (Basketball Captain Senpai):

-“If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot because I’d always miss you.”

-“If you were a basketball, I’d never pass either, because I want to keep you all to myself.”

-“I’ve never made an incomplete pass, and I hope you won’t be my first.”

Tokiya (Drama Club Senpai):

-“What’s a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

-“If you swoon for me, have no fear, for will always be here to catch you.”

-“I may be just a prince, but I’d treat you like a queen.”

Baa/Akira (Goat Senpai):

-“I like you very mulch; you get two green thumbs up!”

-“Did the sun come out, or is that just you smiling at me?”

-“Are you a goat too? Cuz you’re unbaaalievable.”

Soujiro (Calligraphy Club Senpai):

-“You’re so lovely, you make my ink boil.”

-“Hello there. Would you kindly allow me to write your name on my heart?”

-“May I be so bold as to say that your poise and grace far exceeds that of my brush strokes?”

Souh (Butler Senpai):

-“Beg pardon, but your hand looks quite heavy. Shall I hold it for you as we walk? No? Then at least allow me to lace your shoes for you, milady. I wouldn’t want you falling for anyone else.”

-“Here I am, as you have humbly requested. What are your other wishes?”

-“I am merely a butler, but you may call me whenever you like.”

Touru (Student Council President):

-“You have detention for stealing my heart and running with it in the halls.”

-“You must be a high test score, because I want to take you home and show you off to Haruka-sensei and Kyouya-sensei my parents.”

-“Are you an extraterrestrial life form/alien? Because you’re out of this world.”

Hideki (Crammer Senpai):

-“Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”

-“Hi, I’m writing my thesis paper on the finer things in life like anime and ikemen, and I was wondering if I could interview you?”

-“Is your name wifi? Because I’m definitely feeling a connection here.”

Suzuki (Idol Senpai):

-“Your voice is so a-do-re-ble~ Will you duet with me?”

-“Hey, hey! Were you ever a choir director? Cuz you’re making my heart sing!”

-“Just call me the piano man, cuz you’ll love the way I tickle your keys.”

Yamato (Rocker Senpai):

-“Are you a guitar player? Because you just plucked my heart strings.”

-“Did you swallow my speakers? Because your beauty is louder than the rest.”

-“Dang girl, you’re looking sharp enough to get into some serious treble.”

Kyouya (Sensei):

-“I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”

-“Are you less than 90 degrees? Because I think you’re acute angle…Mind giving me your sine?”

-“If you were a dinosaur like Lurky, you would be a Gorgeousaurus Rex.”

Takeru (Childhood Friend Senpai):

-“I lost my teddy bear. Can you share the bed with me tonight?”

-“You know what this teddy bear is stuffed with? Boyfriend material.”

-“I have this one friend…He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

Haruka (School Infirmary Senpai):

-“May I take your temperature? You’re looking rather hot, if I do say so myself.”

-“Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.”

-(Holds out a stethoscope) “Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?”

Jéan (Playboy Senpai):

-(Holds out a rose) “I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly lovely you are.”

-“Are you from Paris? Cuz I swear your beauty is driving me in Seine.”

-“You should lower your guard and parry with me.”

Ai (Cupid Senpai):

-“Heaven just called. They’re missing an angel and want you back right away.”

-“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should go back and walk by again?”

-“Baby, you’re so sweet, you’d put all the chocolate shops out of business.”

Hinata (Tea Ceremony Senpai):

-“Excuse me, but my green tea gave me an awful tongue burn. I think I need mouth-to-mouth.”

-“No need to add honey or sugar to the tea. You’re sweet enough for us both.”

-“Loves me, loves me not…loves me, loves me not…loves me, loves me lots!”

BONUS Super Yandere Hinata line (although realistically he wouldn’t say this): “Hey girl, I wanna be the only person you love in your life. So I killed your friends and family.”

(Okay, I’m really sorry about that last one…)

Sousuke (Archery Team Senpai):

-“You’ve made a direct hit on my heart. Allow me to return the favor?”

-“You’re so lovely that you make me quiver, dear.”

-“I always aim to please everyone–especially you.”

Kei (Ninja Senpai):

-“Oh, are you a ninja as well? Because you’ve snuck into my heart.”

-“My old master used to say that it’s always good to train with a partner.”

-“Can I make this the most exciting time of your life? Shuriken. I have the element of surprise on my side.”

Takahiro (Part Time Job Senpai):

-“So besides being beautiful, what do you do for a living?”

-“Can I buy you something, or do you just want the money?”

-“Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?”

Katsuo (Swim Team Senpai):

-“Can you call a lifeguard? Because I’m drowning in your eyes…”

-“Are you the splash-and-dash? Cuz you’ve got my heart beating really hard right now.”

-“I don’t know which is prettier today…the water, the sky, or your eyes.”

Ryuu (Villain Senpai):

-“Now that you’re here, I’m not sure what my other two hostage demands are.”

-“P-P-Please keep your distance! Grrr…I might…I might fall for you!!”

-“What’s your name? Or can I just call you mine already?”

Kurou (Director Senpai):

-“Hey, are you an Oscar? Because I really want to win you over…”

-“I’ll be your farm boy if you be my princess bride.”

-“You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not!!”

Viktor (Vampire Sensei):

-“I’d just love to suck the life out of you~ But would you let me take you out for a bite first?”

-“Who needs a map of Europe when one can Rome (and vault) freely in your eyes?”

-“I’m sorry that I wasn’t a part of your past. Allow me to make up for it by being your future.”

Itsuki (Ghost Senpai):

-(As she is leaving) “H-Hey, aren’t you forgetting something?” (What?) “M-M-Me!”

-“E-E-Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me…and I j-just wanted to give you n-notice that I noticed y-y-you too…”

-“L-Let’s be nothing. Because…because n-nothing lasts forever, r-r-right?”

Jae (Breakdance Senpai):

-“Yo, I moose ask you a question…Do you have the time?” (You reply) “No, no, I mean the time to dance with me.”

-“Haha, I hope you have a map to the dance floor because I keep getting lost in your eyes!”

-“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number. So dab with me, maybe.” (Winks and dabs)

Seiichi (Robotics Club Senpai):

-“My scanner has detected high amounts of cuteness in this quadrant, and I think I have located the source.”

-“May I have your IP number? I appear to have lost mine.”

-“You must be tired because you’ve been running your code through my CPU all night.”