the psychology blog

anonymous asked:

jd, don't you ever feel even a little bit guilty about the fact that this is all hard on veronica? there has to be some part of you that knows this isn't whats best for both of you. are you really happy, or just hiding your feelings?

I don’t really get the whole “making other people feel bad” thing.  I mean I’m doing a good thing here!  But the whole topic on “repression” is sorta speaking to me though.  Damn, I’m craving a slushie.

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{13-3-17}: trying out digital notes today! having notes digitally is so much easier and are quicker to type up!

i decided the best thing i could do (to help myself more towards exam time) is to make summary sheets on OneNote! i really like how they came out! These are my notes on measuring and studying perception!

14/100 days of productivity!! 

Ultimately, there are two types of people in this world; those who fully embrace the enormity of life and those who reject it and hide from it. The latter profile is a psychological defense mechanism that manifests as ‘boredom’.
—  Jason Silva
MBTI and what [secretly] freaks them out

ISTJ: Getting in trouble

INFJ: someone being “better” than them

ISTP: corrupt learning systems

ISFJ: Thanksgiving dinner gone wrong

ESTP: someone busting their ego

ESTJ: Not being in charge

ENFJ: nobody listening to them

INFP: everybody gossiping about them

ENFP: ISTJs

ISFP: being like everybody else

INTJ: deep affections… but unrequited 

ENTP: a leash

INTP: someone betraying their trust

ENTJ: nobody doing what they’re told 

ESFJ: everybody avoiding them

ESFP: nobody paying attention to them

If I let myself really understand another person, I might be changed by that understanding. And we all fear change. So as I say, it is not an easy thing to permit oneself to understand an individual.
—  Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person
Winter problems

Imagine that kind of feeling you get when you wake up and see sun shining into your room after so many cloudy days. It’s sooo energy and mind boosting that you want to get out of the bed fast and go out to absorb as much sunshine as possible.

PS: That’s the reason why I can’t wait for spring!

CARING FOR ENNEAGRAM TYPE 5

I’m a Type 5 and most of my friends are Type 5 or have a strongly active 5 wing. So I’m making this guide for anyone being around and sharing with people of this type that would like to promote or - at least - respect their well-being and growth.

What to keep in mind about the type:
The Type 5 is curious, investigative, analytical and able to detach from people and situations to assess and organize information with a certain degree of impartiality. They are much of the time, if not always, learning and evaluating what they’ve learned and often search for novel ways to look at things - even when that challenges their and others’ conceived views and beliefs. They may have troubles tolerating misinformation as they are compelled to deconstruct and clarify concepts and may feel responsible for informing and educating both themselves and others. They might be or become overwhelmed and lost within circumstances they have little or no understanding of as this might cause them to perceive themselves as incapable of facing and surviving them - unless it’s safe to proceed at a thoughtful pace. They require space and privacy to retreat into their minds and to make progress with their research and other practices.

What they enjoy:
- Exploring and examining subjects they have taken an interest in. They may be enthusiastic about gathering and collecting data as well as dissecting and inspecting it. When it comes to it, they may strive to be broadly and deeply knowledgeable. If they’re comfortable, exchanging and discussing some areas delights them. However, while possible, it’s unlikely that they’d enjoy constant gossip and mindless chatter.
- Appreciating well constructed and polished works. Whether it is work (in various forms) done by humans or by more in nature, they may be intrigued and fascinated by it - especially if it’s something innovative and/or difficult to accomplish.
- Gaining perspective and stretching their minds. While they might not be willing to recklessly jump out of their comfort zone, they’re usually happy to enrich and empower themselves with fresh ways to look at and interpret phenomena. At times it’s fine by them if an idea seems incoherent or unrealistic as long as it’s interesting and stimulating - they may enjoy trying to make sense of it and finding the truth (or lack thereof) in it. At times ridiculous and absurd notions amuse them.
- Making discoveries and being insightful. When allowed room and other resources, they may go for and dig into that which has been overlooked. This may be done for its own sake, for their sake and/or for others’.
- Fighting lies and ignorance. Well, this can be exhausting depending on the amount and how much of a hopeless case it is. Nevertheless, they tend to find purpose and fulfillment in contributing to illumination.

What helps them:
- Keeping an open mind. They may be unusual and even somewhat eccentric, and they’re possibly fine with this if you are as well. Being ‘normal’ (whatever that is) may be low in their priorities. Let them be harmlessly or rightfully 'weird.’ Something worthwhile might come out of it.
- Having few demands and expectations placed upon them. Although they may be capable of accomplishing much, they value autonomy. They need to experiment and try new and different things as well as to improve and perfect their actions and projects in original ways. Let them do their thing; they probably wouldn’t ask you for much, either.
- Ability to be distant and silent. There may be instances in which they’re closely and outspokenly engaged, but this may vary and they do best when they retain the ability to withdraw. They might be gone for long, but this is not necessarily an indication that they should be interrupted and pulled back. Be patient and let them take the time off that they need.

What to watch out for:
- Cynicism. They might not be the most optimistic of people, especially if their findings seem to suggest that there are no alternatives or solutions to problems. Sometimes they are being accurate in this, other times they are lacking in scope and grasp.
- Nitpicking. As critical thinkers, scrutinizing is something they often can’t help doing. Sometimes they mean well and/or this can be helpful, other times it comes from a place of resentment.
- Prodding. They want to see and to know more, even though they may be secretive themselves. Sometimes this is okay, other times it is not.
- Sarcasm. As though it’s an automatic defense against ‘stupid,’ they might naturally express themselves with sarcasm. Sometimes this is not hurtful or damaging, other times it is. Sometimes they’ve just had enough, other times they simply cannot be bothered to be more considerate.
- Dismissiveness. They may be engrossed in their own interests and standards and fail to see worth and value in that which they deem to be ‘below’ them and what they would prefer. Sometimes it’s hard to argue them out of this mindset, other times they are open to recognizing the significance they missed and become less prejudiced. However, although they might realize they were biased by what were only their personal preferences, they might still keep them if they are or appear to be reasonable to have.

What to really be concerned about:
- Depression and nihilism. They might struggle with finding meaning, particularly if they come to believe that they have already seen everything there was to see and that nothing better awaits them. This can be a complicated and delicate condition that might be out of your hands to fix. Find ways in which you can truly be helpful without making it worse or losing yourself in the process.
- Crippling feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. They might judge themselves too harshly, and others might as well. Be understanding and reassuring if you can. Be on their side as they work on their shortcomings if it is an option - help inspire, motivate, encourage and guide them if it’s not counterproductive and they welcome it.
- Disturbingly distorted outlooks and twisted approaches. They might have gone too far and become too confused, losing their sense of reality and good judgment. This might be too much for you to do anything about and maybe only they and others can save them. Step away if you must.

Why should you bother to care?
Whether your relationships with Type 5 people are intimate or not, putting in, at the least, a bit of effort on your part (as much as it’s appropriate) can go a long way in making things better for everyone involved.

Note: These are only a few things to consider when caring for Type 5.

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{24-2-17}: spent the day making this! a pencil case! i’m so happy with it - i cant wait to use it for uni!

if you like this, and want to see how i made it: put it in the tags below or send me an ask! if enough people ask, i’ll make a post!