the professor in sydney

*calls research institute that only deals with rarest of endocrine cases and wonders if case is rare enough*

‘hi i have a genetic disease called the SDHD fault help me’ (heavily paraphrased)

‘oh that is very rare’

‘yes can you help me’

‘yes i think so can you get your doctor to give you an indefinite referral’

‘wait indefinite? oh, that’s right, it’s incurable’

‘yes, it is’

‘so my case is rare enough?’

‘yes, it is’

‘so i’ll probably see [desirable professor who has been recommended to me by desirable professor in Sydney but is extremely hard to see who only holds a clinic for two hours once a week and like at this point i’m pretty sure i’ll see Santa before i see him]?’

‘indeed it is his area and yes he is rarer than a unicorn but i think he’ll make an exception for your case.’

‘hey cool, i hope you have an awesome day thank you for helping me’

‘remember the referral needs to be indefinite.’

*hangs up*

my life is really weird at the moment.

Woman Mathematician part J

Nalini Joshi  – an Australian Laureate Fellow and Professor in the School of Mathematics and Statistics at the University of Sydney, she is the first woman in the School to hold either position. She is a past-president of the Australian Mathematical Society. Joshi is a member of the School’s Applied Mathematics Research Group. Her research concerns integrable systems.


Calvert: They’re in the inner sanctum! Attack already, you useless peasant!
Mac: Whoa! Buttons! You alright, man?
Desmond: Fuckin’ idiot’s in the way! Shoot him and be done with it!
Sydney: Chill it, gramps! Buttons, you don’t have to do this.
Buttons: *takes off bandage* Oh, I know.

(Collab with cameronaugust)
Stephen Hawking Posits a New Theory of Zayn Malik

Stephen Hawking may be the most renowned physicist of our time, but that doesn’t mean he can’t commiserate with heartbroken One Direction fans.

Last night, the Cambridge University-based scientist and professor delivered a lecture at the Sydney Opera House via holographic projection; according toBuzzfeed, topics included his diagnosis with ALS and humanity’s need to continue space exploration. “I don’t think we will survive another 1,000 years without escaping beyond our fragile planet,” he said.

After his rousing lecture, in which he urged his audience to “look up at the stars and not down at your feet,” the distinguished cosmologist received an unusual question from the audience: “What do you think is the cosmological effect of Zayn leaving One Direction and consequently breaking the hearts of millions of teenage girls across the world?”

The charismatic Hawking didn’t disappoint with his answer.

“Finally, a question about something important,” he quipped. “My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics, because one day there may well be proof of multiple universes.

"It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another different universe,” he continued. “And in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction.”

Lest his young inquirer not yet be sold on the study of dark matter and quantum gravity, Professor Hawking added a brilliant coda. “This girl may like to know that in another possible universe,” he concluded, “she and Zayn are happily married.”

The escape from the evil retirement village!

More from the old people’s campaign documenting our escape from the formal dinner.

  • Sydney is the retired professor of theology and dabbler in the arcane arts.
  • Paul is our retired pastor and brawler.
  • Bill, retired mechanic and boat enthusiast
  • Rick Sanchez as Rick Sanchez :|
  • Daisy as the sneaky forgetful old granny with a Zimmer frame.
  • Timothy Jenkins ancient adorable man in a wheelchair we helped escape/kidnapped (NPC)
  • Jericho our mad tinfoil wearing conspiracy theorist guide (NPC)

We were having a formal dinner with the head of the retirement home giving a speech.

Head: Thank you all for being here today, etc (speech things, we weren’t listening IC or OOC)

Sydney: Does this man know who I am? I have tenure!

Paul: Does he have tenure?

Sydney: *rolls dice* This man doesn’t have tenure!

“Loud bird call from Jericho”

Paul: The signal, we must ready the distraction!

Both Paul and Rick roll their dice.

Rick throws Timothy, a wheelchair bound frail old man with a heart of gold <3

Paul tries to throw the table and fails.

Paul: What, it’s not my fault it’s bolted to the floor! Rolls bluff and fails.

DM: Everyone watching knows that it isn’t.

Sydney: Down with the bourgeoisie scum!

Paul: Fuck the commie bastards!

Bill: Excuse me gentlemen, I’ll catch up with you later. *Stealthily leaves during the chaos.*

Bill then goes to the computer room and with some amazing rolls manages to get to google after typing “ do i get to google? .com” in the Bing search bar. He’s looking for krankstarter, that site where people give you money. He eventually makes it to kickstarter and somehow sets up a page to fund the escape. He sets the goal as 7-1 against Brazil.

Meanwhile Paul and Sydney have left the dining room to make their escape. Daisy and Rick are leaving with Timothy slightly behind them.

Paul and Sydney get into a fight with an orderly, but brass knuckles and a few magic missiles sort that out quickly.

Sydney: I have tenure bitch!

We all meet up outside by the storage shed to salvage equipment (find lawn mowers and and leaf blowers)

Bill: If we use these we can try make a vehicle to escape. We’ll use Timmy’s wheelchair too!

Jericho: Do it quickly the orderlies are coming!

Rick: I’ll help!

We build the contraption and realize we can’t get it through the door.

Bill: Be free my device!

We set it free, into the wild. In the direction of the orderlies and escape through the door to freedom.

Sydney: I have tenure!

I may continue this at a later stage, the rest of the escape was amazing. I’ll definitely do the helicopter fight.

anonymous asked:

The second is the " we accidentally got matched up as roommate" AU. I just really like the idea of them accidentally being stuck in the same college dorm room for the year and kind of being perfect roommates

Sorry it took me so long, but here it is! :D

Alt. title: Five moments in which Bellamy Blake slowly falls for Clarke Griffin

Also on AO3


Bellamy Blake has had various accidents throughout his life. When he was five, his neighbor’s cat scratched him bad enough for the scar to still be visible fourteen years later. When he was ten, he broke his arm falling from a tree – saving that same cat. However, he could have expected those to happen.

But what he wasn’t expecting was to get accidentally matched up as roommates with Clarke Griffin.

“Let’s blame our parents.”

Bellamy looks at the girl, frizzy blonde hair, a faded Coca Cola T-shirt and a wry smile as she stands in the doorway to their room. He’s shocked whereas she’s just amused.

“For giving us unisex names,” she clarifies, looking at him like she’s just waiting for him to catch up. “You know, that got us into this situation?”

Two more seconds and she’s gonna think he’s incapable of stringing a sentence so Bellamy clears his throat, offering, “You want me to talk to the RA?”

The girl – Clarke (18, art major, knows how to say fuck the patriarchy in 5 different languages and loves coffee – and that’s only what she told him in their email correspondence) blinks at him.

“Come on, Bellamy. You said you’d smash the patriarchy with me. You’re not seriously expecting me to find a new partner?”

And that, in short, is how Clarke Griffin begins to worm her way into Bellamy’s heart.

Keep reading


“Professor Sydney Engelberg, a 45-year lecturing veteran at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, was unfazed when the child of a mother at his lecture on organizational behavior began to cry. The embarrassed mom tried to leave the class, but instead, the father-of-four and grandfather-of-five scooped the kid up and soothed him in his arms – without missing a beat in the lesson.

According to his daughter, Engelberg allows the mothers that attend his masters’ lectures to bring their children and even breastfeed. No mother should have to choose between a child and an education!”

Why Physicists Love Super Balls

by Joel N. Shurkin, Inside Science

Super Balls are toys beloved by children because of their extraordinary ability to bounce. Physicists love them for exactly the same reason.

Drop a baseball on the floor and it will hardly bounce at all. Drop a Super Ball from shoulder height, and it will bounce back 92 percent of the way to the drop-off point. Super Balls also are just as bouncy vertically as they are horizontally, and they spin oddly.

“Physicists love it because it has interesting physical properties,” said Rod Cross, retired professor of physics at the University of Sydney in Australia, whose latest paper on Super Balls appears in the American Journal of Physics. His research also demonstrated the odd way all balls roll.

Keep reading

Arranged Marriage - time to bring it back?

My father was working as a math professor in Sydney, Australia in 1976. He was one of the very few Indian immigrants there at the time. Like many of us, he turned 30 and all of his friends started getting married. Out of options, one of his friends suggested he take a trip back to India to try and meet someone, because that’s what was done - in fact, it still often is. He decided to go back home to New Delhi and summoned his mother for help. She alerted the troops and was able to find him 21 girls to go on dates with. Impressive numbers, 20 years before mainstream dial-up. The 21st girl was my mother. He was 31, she was 24. He proposed to her on their first date. (My mother will say the 20 girls before her rejected his proposal, he will say she is the only one he asked - the jury’s still out.) She was looking for three things: someone intelligent, someone that lived outside of India, and someone that wouldn’t beat her. He checked all the boxes, (fingers crossed on the last one). Two weeks later they were married.

Two strangers starting a life together in a foreign country. It sounds like a bad reality show. He had told her he was all set up in Sydney, had a great job, awesome place, friends, etc. She arrives to find out that he was more eccentric than she had thought. Dad was living in an apartment that was completely unfurnished and sleeping on a green yoga mat. He had equations written on the walls and had one pot in which he made franks and beans every night for dinner. He was giving all his money to literally anyone that asked and had $100 in savings, which contrary to your suspicion still wasn’t a lot in the late ‘70s. His best friend was a man named Ernie, who lived off the Sydney Harbor on a tiny patch of land the size of a bathroom where he and my father would boat out to and get trashed. This was NOT what she had hoped for.

Somehow, they managed to put in 15 solid years of work into the marriage. She helped him balance his life. She gave him two daughters that adore him. She taught him countless things like dental hygiene, how to save and invest their money, how to eat properly, and even how to swim! She saved him from himself.

He was nothing but an unpublished assistant professor when they met, paper after paper rejected. He worked tirelessly and with the support of my mother has now been published in every major mathematical publication worldwide, has won countless awards, and serves on the Nobel Prize Committee. He has given her a life she had never imagined. European vacations, property ownership, and the best lesson of all, that a glass of wine every night won’t kill you. (they’re drunks!)

It appears that when you start at rock bottom, things can only get better. As if this wasn’t enough, after 15 years, they fell in love. They now have been married for 37 years.

News Flash: Life is not the movies. Marriage is extremely difficult and unnatural. You have to constantly work on yourself. It’s almost impossible to be head over heels in love with someone, every day, forever. You fight, you make up, you change, you grow, you fight, you make up, you change, you adjust and then eventually you are too old to give a shit and then you die.

If your first marriage fails, statistically your second marriage has a higher percentage of failing, and third even more so. Why? Because it is impossible to obtain 100% of your happiness from another person. We set the bar so high, and then are disappointed.

What my parents have managed to do is to try and focus on the good the other person brings you, versus the things you can’t stand. If you only focus on the good, you are setting yourself up for success. Example: He doesn’t take out the trash, but HE DOES work hard all day, earn a good living, and hates sports!

There is no such thing as the perfect man or woman, it’s a myth. Even if you were to find the perfect someone, you would be over him or her and bored in a matter of time - these are the facts.

Once you accept that he’s not going to fill your wine glass when it’s low (the #1 quality I look for in a man), you will have an easier time. Whether it’s easy or not, I will say this: there IS something special about sharing a lifetime with only one person. Maybe it’s time for our generation to start from scratch with someone, rather than go into a relationship expecting compatibility and perfection. Grow together; it’s a gamble on both sides. What makes you think you’re so great?

more at and

5SOS Preference #1 How You Met!

#1 How You Met

Calum: You were so happy that your professors let you travel abroad to Sydney, Australia. You had been working so hard to get to this point, and here you were, late for your flight. Quickly gathering your things you sped through security, and came to the terminal running as fast as you could. All of a sudden you fell to the ground as you bumped into a strong tall figure, who didn’t even seem phased at you crashing into him. “Sorry! Was I in your way?” he says as he lifts you up. You hear his thick Australian accent and smile, you did always have a thing for Australians, hence the reason you chose Sydney. “ Um no sorry. My flight is over here.” you smile looking in his brown eyes. “Oh alright. Um my ticket is a little worn, do you know which terminal Sydney is?” you laugh a bit and point. “This way. I was actually going there, and we’re already late! Come with me!” grabbing his hand and pulling him along you get to the gate and speak to the stewardess who was about to close it. “The ticket numbers don’t really matter anymore, but if you hurry you two can get the remaining seats in the back!” she says pushing you in. You both sit down together and smile. “Oh, by the way , my name is Calum. Calum Hood. Yours?”

Ashton: I adjusted my belt and picked up your walkee talkee as I prepared for work. Being a stage manager was hard work. Sure it looked like the concerts were all fun and awesome, but it took a lot of work to make it that way! Today my venue is being used by some band named 5 Seconds of Summer. They sound pretty familiar, being a 20 year old engineer, it’s hard to stay up to date with pop culture these days. Entering the venue I see their set up crew with all of their equipment, as I tell them where to put it. I step on the stage, making sure everything is okay and catch a glimpse of the band. 2 blonde boys, one with brightly colored hair, and another with black hair. They were all wearing skinny jeans and band t-shirts. Now those are some bands I have heard of, Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones, Green Day. Being called across the stage I make my way as one of the blonde boys walks over to the drum set to begin practicing. He smiles at me, and I smile back thinking: ’ damn he is cute’ yeah I know, professional huh? I do what needs to be done and walk across the stage once again, silently admiring the way he plays the drums with so much passion. He notices my staring and stops playing, “Do you know how to play the drums?” he asks. I blush and looks away making sure he is talking to me. “Um, no actually.” He smiles widely, his dimples showing and motions me towards him. “I’m always happy to give a lesson. I’m Ashton by the way.”

Luke: “Hey are you coming to the party tonight?” My friend Michael texts me. He was the first person to befriend me when I came to Norwest Christian, and so far the only one. He and I got along really well, but everytime he wanted to introduce me to his friends, they would all be busy for some reason or another. Michael decided that the best way to introduce me to people was with a Welcoming Party. Sure I declined his offer so many times, but Mikey… that boy never can take no for an answer. “Dammit Clifford, I told you for the 40th time I did not want you to throw this damn party!” “Good that means you’re excited, and you’ll be there. I’ll pick you up at your place in 15 ;) and wear your dancing shoes… god that sounded awful. ignore that.” I sigh as I walk around my room, throwing on an oversized hoodie, beanie, and some black jeans, and my old beat up converse. Michael will love my outfit… it shows how excited I am for this party :/ I hear the door bell after a while and I answer it to see that adorable idiot standing there. “How do you even know where I live?” he laughs a bit, gesturing to my outfit “That’s not important right now! What the heck do you think you’re wearing?! This is a party! LUKE GET OUT OF THE CAR IT IS MAKE-OVER TIME!!!!” I heard someone sigh and a door shut as a tall lanky blonde boy walks into my livingroom. “What the hell are you talking about Michael?” he says tiredly as he glares at his friend.”Look I am sorry I interrupted your afternoon nap for a welcoming party for my good friend, but oh well. Get over it. Now help me get her all dressed up! Oh yeah, Luke this is Y/N.” “ Nice to meet you. I’m Luke Hemmings… Now please help me get this idiot into the car so we can get this over with. I think you look beautiful just like that.” I smile and grab Michael’s arm. “Come on bestie, lets just go.”

Michael: I hold my tickets to Green Day close to my heart as I walk into the venue where I would meet my idols. I got VIP tickets, for a meet & greet, and an autograph, as well as front row tickets! I have been listening to Green Day probably since I was a fetus in my punk-rock mother’s womb. The only thing I wasn’t too excited about was the fact that I was going alone. Concerts are never really fun alone. I get in line next to a Green haired boy who smiles at me and looks down at his phone. He was pretty cute, his hair kind of matched his eyes and his lips were very pink, and wow.. wow. What am I saying? He is gorgeous. I stand awkwardly looking at my phone as well, trying not to stare at him, or let him know that I found him extremely attractive. We stand like that for about 20 minutes when finally he says “Um. This is going to be very boring since we both don’t have anyone to talk to in this line, so … I’m Michael. Would you like to be my concert buddy?” I laugh a bit and nod my head. “Sure. I’m Y/N.”

Your Name: Meredith Jones

Where You Live: Sydney, Australia

Institution: University of Technology, Sydney

Your Job: Associate Professor, Media and Cultural Studies

Your Research In 5 Words: Feminist theory, bodies, media, transformations.

Your Breakfast In 5 Words: Crumpet and tea in bed.

Your Food Philosophy In 10 Words: Vegan, mostly raw, but deeply love vinegary, salty, hot chips.