the profession of violence

anonymous asked:

What's the visual novel that the quote is from?

The visual novel is called Burning Bright in the Forests of the Night.

It was first released as an extra with the first pressing of the 6th Japanese DVD/Bluray volumes on December 18th, 2013, along with other two visual novels: A Choice with no Regrets, and Wall Sina, Goodbye. It has been re-released on the recent Season 1 DVD/Bluray Boxsets.

The whole visual novel is basically Levi’s thoughts about Eren during the events of Season 1. We get to see his point of view during the most relevant moments Eren and Levi share.

It really is great because we get into Levi’s head and know what he thinks about Eren. Here’s a resume with the most important points:

Levi calls Eren a monster, but a monster “created so perfectly it inspires awe, and fear”.

When Levi realizes Eren has transformed to fight the female titan in the forest, and he might be in danger, Levi’s heart is described as “cold as ice”, and he “flies like a released arrow”.

Levi beating Eren in the trial is described as “an extreme, cunning performance. But a necessary one”. He also thinks how they’re forced to make hard decisions all the time, and beating Eren is his last resort. “Ahh, what a load of bullshit. But there’s no choice. A soldier’s profession is to wield violence”. I personally love this part because it really proves that Levi did not want to hurt Eren, and was just doing it because he had no other choice.

Levi knows about Eren’s past, about his training time, and even about his childhood. It is said that “violence and any other form of pain will never break the boy’s spirit”. Not even getting a beating is going to destroy him, on the contrary, it will make him stronger.

The most important part from the whole visual novel is probably this one:

Humanity’s Strongest understands Eren Jaeger very well.
Eren Jaeger is indeed feared as a monster.
Eren Jaeger is undoubtedly a monster.
But all these people have gotten it wrong from the start.
Eren Jaeger is not a monster because he has the power to shift into a titan

When Levi calls Eren a monster, he isn’t talking about his shifting power. He is talking about his strenght and will. He is a monster because he is capable of enduring so much and still keep fighting. When Levi calls Eren a monster, it’s not something with bad connotations, it’s actually almost a compliment, as he speaks of him with admiration.

Eren is a monster “not because of the titan power, but because his soul itself is a monster”. And nothing can’t control this monster, “not even love” (゚ω゚;).

Levi wants to protect Eren, and calls him a “monster with perfect, fearsome beauty”. ( I assume this is the quote you saw in the first place).

When Levi rescues Eren, he yells his name. He “looks at the boy he’s holding" and wonders if he put too much weight on his shoulders or confused him by making him decide.

The visual novel ends with the poem The Tyger by William Blake, which gives name to the visual novel.

You can watch the visual novel here or here.

It was translated to english by sunset-tower, you can find the translation here. Any quotes used on this post belong to that translation.

I personally recommend this visual novel, it’s short but I think it’s very important to understand Eren and Levi’s relationship a bit better.

anonymous asked:


it was,,,,,, so fucking good. i just need to rant for a bit about so many aspects of this video because like not only was it genuinely so funny and original and creative, it was just SO WELL MADE. there were so many small details about it that i couldn’t even believe.  they put so much actual effort into it and they’re also both so naturally funny when it comes to this kind of humor. ahhhh there were so many good things to talk about that i hardly know where to begin or like how to even organize my thoughts so just like,,, be ready bc this is about to be the most incoherent ramble 

first of all. dnp work so well together. i mean. we know this, we see it all the time. but there’s a lot of humor in the crafts videos that is just completely improvised within the larger pre-planned structure/concept. and they bounce off each other SO well in this setting (maybe even better than they do in many of their normal collabs, at least from a comedic standpoint.) i think a lot of this has to do w the fact that the satirical cheeriness of the “characters” that they play, that is over-emphasized to the point of being creepy, just lends itself really well to so many amazing one-liners. but also they just have such good chemistry that is so readily apparent in this context,,, it makes me emotional. they consistently set each other up for jokes, if one person improvises a certain action or behavior the other goes along with it or reacts to it immediately and that’s a mark of rly well-practiced entertainers but also two people who know each other really well and i love watching it play out.

i also do have to acknowledge that they are both fundamentally quite talented. all three of the craft videos are examples of really genuinely witty humor and they showcase that side of dnp so well. both of them also have such a good sense of comedic timing and even an intuition for physical comedy and they’re also rly creative with how they edit these videos and the union of all of those elements is what makes these videos so good in my opinion. while i believe dan’s explanation that the first crafts video was filmed quite spontaneously without much of a plan (and that’s why it’s super short and not as funny as the latter two imo), i do think they put a lot of thought and effort into this one which is quite clear through many of the details they worked into the video both during the filming itself and then afterwards in the editing. first of all the overall concept of them being taken by satan as a culmination of the extremely subtle creepy undertones from the first one is just so smart bc no one would expect them to take it that far and the total hyperbolic unlikeliness of it is what makes it so damn funny. i think most ppl were expecting when dan said he’s keeping his stamp a secret that it would just be some sort of satanic symbol like what happened in the glitter faces vid but like,,, no one thought it’d escalate to where it did. it was so unexpected and over the top but somehow still not overdone or so forced as to dilute the comedy. it synthesized humor with genuinely unsettling creepiness and that is such a difficult balance to achieve. 

you can tell they put a lot of thought into it on so many levels. for instance they worked in all these rly subtle allusions to satan himself before the weird ritual scene happens, like dan saying “this one’s long with a big head like him” (ty for describing satans cock to us dan jfc) and phil saying “i’ve selected as many knives as friends i have, which is two.” then even during the ritual scene they work in things like the cow noise since a common satanic symbol is a horned deity (baphomet lol). and in their new channel description they use the case file name 19-1-20-1-14 which decodes to the word “satan” if you use a basic letter-number cipher (in which each number stands for the letter that is that position in the alphabet. ’s’ is the 19th letter, ‘a’ is the first, and so on.) and there are so many other little editing quirks that give this video that unsettling undertone, as well as editing quirks that add to the comedy of it and it’s all just so well done. for example the voice editing on certain words like “sharp” and “go away.” the audio overlays of heavy breathing at various points and random cuts to black screens. the use of creepy music at strategic places throughout. at 4:36 they recorded themselves saying protip backwards just to reverse it and they even spell out the “protip” text backwards, seemingly both as a way to shit on the whole ‘protip’ trope from the last vid and also to make fun of the way that satanists/conspiracy theorists think there are hidden messages in popular songs and shit that u can only hear if u play the audio backwards. ugh i hate them and their many layers of references. phil also references this again during the ritual part, when dan lights the match (he just goes “portip” “portip” as though he’s trying to say it backwards lol.) and then they fuck around w the word protip throughout the video almost like they’re making fun of it. there’s also definitely a subtle pitch manipulation of their voices as the video progresses. by the end they sound like they’ve sucked on a little bit of helium but it happens gradually enough that you’re just a little bit put off and you can’t really place why. then there’s the little comedic touches like the siren sound when “carefully” flashes across the screen. the fact that the legal disclaimer for adult supervision is cut off at the sides. the zoom in on the fleck of green paint that lands on dan when phil’s pouring it into the plate. ugh like damn i just want to make the point that they clearly put work into this and on face value it seems like a shoddy home video w a weird satanic ending but there’s a reason this works so well and feels so creepy and simultaneously laugh out loud funny and it’s bc they’re genuinely talented and we don’t always get to see that creative talent at work in their standard formulas for videos on their regular channels so i’m just so grateful that they made something like this where it seems like they allow themselves to exercise more of that creative energy. it begs a lot of questions about why they don’t do shit like this more,,,  and i think there are a number of reasons they feel safe and happy making what they generally make now but i’m jst so happy that at least in these videos they’ve branched out and done something so creative and good.

on that note. i just need to ramble about phil. i don’t think anyone can dispute that phil really carries these videos and partly that’s because he’s been in the role of the “teacher” in all three videos so he inevitably comes across as more dominant and sets the tone for the humor, but also like,,, he just works so well in this style and comes up with such spontaneous and WITTY little remarks that inevitably become the standout lines from each vid (in this one, for example, “potato is in my top ten favorite fruit,” “sometimes it’s nice to look up at the stars and remember that they’re all already dead,” “if you make a mistake while cutting just think about it for the rest of the day,” etc. and one of my fav from the past, “if you’re left handed ask a friend” (d: why am i left handed) “everybody makes mistakes!”) he also seems to improvise a lot of the physical comedy in the videos (in this one, the way he just stared at the paint as he squeezed it out for way too long, the way he threw around the cutting boards and plates, the way he did the chopping; and in past ones, slamming his hands on the paper and on dan’s hands when mixing the glitters, clacking the scissors super loudly in the first one, etc.) i just love these videos so much bc they’re some of the only ones that we have these days where phil is really doing most of the comedic legwork and dan definitely helps and bounces off of him but mostly lets phil take charge and i live for it. and while there’s obvi no way to tell who rly did the editing for the video (and i’m sure it was a mix of both of them) there’s no denying that the editing style and general creepiness (especially of the ritual sacrifice scene lol) bear a lot of similarities to the feeling/vibe/editing quirks in a lot of phil’s old school videos (i’m thinking like tape 6 and the basket which, if any of you reading these have not watched, please just open a tab right now and do that before you finish reading this lol.) the choppy way the different clips are spliced together in the whole ritual scene (where one second dan is stamping phil, then lighting a match and chanting, then phil’s chanting, then he’s slumped over and then there are two videos overlaid on top of each other when dan is actually stamping phil’s back and then the sudden cut to black) it’s all so reminiscent of those older videos and it does make me feel like phil had a larger creative hand in thinking about how this video should be put together and that just makes me so happy to think about. i’ve always wondered what phil does w his self-professed obsession with horror and his interest in violence and psychological thrillers and whatnot, as well as his former academic/critical study of filmmaking. it makes sense that he doesn’t feel comfortable exploring those interests by making things himself in this genre in a real way and especially not on youtube because his self-described objective through this platform is to provide his audience with light and uplifting entertainment. more pragmatically, he’s trying to make a living from this job and hold somewhat broad-based appeal through the videos he makes and it makes sense that lighter content that doesn’t require too much intellectual rigor would fare better and hold more consistent audience engagement. and more personally, making things on the level of tape 6, even years later w more familiarity with editing and whatnot and perhaps more skill in writing scripts/characters/plots, still would involve a certain degree of personal emotional vulnerability that the current amazingphil format doesn’t demand. in short, venturing into these territories creatively would be a risk on a lot of levels. it would invite more formal critique of his work. it would invite more people trying to read into who he is and his psyche (which are things that i feel like he’s actually terrified of and that’s part of why he’s built such a protective barrier against it). it would be a risk and it makes sense that he doesn’t want to take it, at least not right now. but it’s just lovely to see that he still has the capacity to make things in the vein of those older videos and to make them WITH DAN and mix them with comedy which i need to reiterate is such a hARD THING TO DO!!!! and  idk it just rly makes me so happy to watch and to think about. 

i love phil so much, and none of this is meant to dilute dan’s role since i’m sure he did inform some of the decisions here, but i just think that dan as phil’s biggest fan (since 2007 y’all) would feel many of these same things about phil’s older content and support phil’s desire to engage that darker creative energy/talent he has hiding under all of those layers of syrupy happiness and amiability. i love that this is sort of an update to that vintage dark!phil content bc it’s the same dark undertones, same editing quirks, etc. but now it’s mixed with rly cheeky humor and maybe that’s dan’s influence or maybe it’s still phil, but a phil that has shared his life w someone w this particular irreverent and sarcastic sense of humor for so many years and this video shows the confluence of those two things in such a lovely and original way and just,,,, ugh. this video was so much and i loved it SO much. truly so, so good i was not prepared to feel so many deep-seated Emotions over some god damn satanic propaganda i need help. 

(danandphilcrafts - potato prints)

When you have a combative confused patient and the attending wants to avoid all psychotropic medications

Dementia is a devastating disease.  I agree that we should avoid psychotropic drugs because sometimes they can make the confusion worse.    

However, when a patient is agitated and de-escalation is not working, and the wife is crying because this is a rough picture to watch, in addition, she got hit by her husband- and I get hit and my tech gets kicked.  Enough is enough- you are creating torture for everyone.  I do not come to work to get physically abused by a confused patient because they don’t understand that I am cleaning them up.    I literally had a battle of wits with an attending and she ended up staying in the room for a couple hours.

I have gotten hurt before by a confused restrained patient that wouldn’t let go of my arm and all I was doing was fixing a trach collar that moved to the side and he was desaturating.  He was very strong and his fingernails were never cut because he was a nursing home patient.  I ended up having three bruises on my arm.  Luckily, this was completely healable, but that’s not the point.  A more dramatic case of not controlling the situation with an aggressive patient is in my class, there is a student who works in psych ER where a patient stabbed his coworker in the eye with a pencil.  He no longer can work as a nurse.  I think we as nurses do a great job not talking about workplace violence that we experience.  I think this reason contributes to a nurse’s burnout (sounds like a great DNP project for someone).

I hope doctors read this.  When direct care provider tells you that a patient is aggressive, you have a duty to protect not only that patient but that staff that is carrying out your orders.  


True Crime Book Master Post - At the request from a few of my followers, I have decided to make a second master post including some of my favourite true crime books that I have read recently. Click here to see my first true crime book master post. Click the name to be linked to where you can purchase the book online!

The Shankill Butchers - During the 1970s a group of Protestant paramilitaries embarked on a spree of indiscriminate murder which left thirty Northern Irish Catholics dead. Their leader was Lenny Murphy, a fanatical Unionist whose Catholic-sounding surname led to his persecution as a child for which he took revenge on all Catholics. Not for the squeamish, The Shankill Butchers is a horrifying detailed account of one of the most brutal series of murders in British legal history - a phenomenon whose real nature has been obscured by the troubled and violent context from which it sprang.”

The Texarkana Moonlight Murders - “ In 1946, years before the phrase “"serial murder”“ was coined, a masked killer terrorised the town of Texarkana on the Texas-Arkansas border. Striking five times within a ten-week period, always at night, the prowler claimed six lives and left three other victims wounded. Survivors told police that their assailant was a man, but could supply little else. A local newspaper dubbed him the Phantom Killer, and it stuck. Texarkana’s phantom was not America’s first serial slayer; he certainly was not the worst, either in body count or sheer brutality. But he has left a crimson mark on history as one of those who got away. Like the elusive Axeman of New Orleans, Cleveland’s Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run, and San Francisco’s Zodiac, the Phantom Killer left a haunting mystery behind. This is the definitive story of that mystery.”

The Profession of Violence: The Rise and Fall of the Kray Twins - “ Reggie and Ronnie Kray ruled London’s gangland during the 60s with a ruthlessness and viciousness that shocks even now. Building an empire of organised crime that has never been matched, the brothers swindled, extorted and terrorised – while enjoying a glittering celebrity status at the heart of the swinging 60s scene, until their downfall and imprisonment for life.”

Cold Serial: The Jack the Strangler Murders - “Cold Serial” paints the picture of five girls who were raped and strangled in the Dayton, Ohio, area between 1900 and 1909. The working conditions, lack of rights for women and police protection, and the sexism of the age portray these girls as victims not only of a crime but also of their time. As their stories unfold, a common thread appears, a modus operandi that begins to link them together. During that era, police did not recognize the lurking shadow of a predator. But through diligent research conducted by the author, it is now revealed.”

America’s Death Penalty: Between Past and Present -  “Over the past three decades, the United States has embraced the death penalty with tenacious enthusiasm. While most of those countries whose legal systems and cultures are normally compared to the United States have abolished capital punishment, the United States continues to employ this ultimate tool of punishment. The death penalty has achieved an unparalleled prominence in our public life and left an indelible imprint on our politics and culture. It has also provoked intense scholarly debate, much of it devoted to explaining the roots of American exceptionalism.”

Fred And Rose: The Full Story of Fred and Rose West and the Gloucester House of Horrors - “ During their long relationship the Wests murdered a series of young women, burying the remains of nine victims under their home at 25 Cromwell Street, Gloucester, including those of their teenage daughter, Heather. What was left of Fred West’s eight-year-old stepdaughter was dug up from under the Wests’ previous Gloucester home; his first wife and nanny were buried in open country outside the city. Several victims had been decapitated and dismembered, their remains showing signs of sexual torture. These twelve are just the ones the police found when the Wests were arrested in 1994. There may be more whose bones have not been located.”

Encyclopedia of Murder and Violent Crime - “Edited by an internationally recognized expert on serial killers, this encyclopedia covers both murder and violent crime in their variant forms. Included are biographies, chronologies, special interest inset boxes, up to 100 photographs, comprehensive article bibliographies, and appendices for items such as famous unsolved cases, celebrity murders, assasinations, original source documents, and online sources for information.”

Bind, Torture, Kill: The Inside Story of BTK, the Serial Killer Next Door - “For thirty-one years, a monster terrorized the residents of Wichita, Kansas. A bloodthirsty serial killer, self-named “BTK"—for "bind them, torture them, kill them"—he slaughtered men, women, and children alike, eluding the police for decades while bragging of his grisly exploits to the media. The nation was shocked when the fiend who was finally apprehended turned out to be Dennis Rader—a friendly neighbor … a devoted husband … a helpful Boy Scout dad … the respected president of his church.Written by four award-winning crime reporters who covered the story for more than twenty years, Bind, Torture, Kill is the most intimate and complete account of the BTK nightmare told by the people who were there from the beginning. With newly released documents, evidence, and information—and with the full cooperation, for the very first time, of the Wichita Police Department’s BTK Task Force—the authors have put all the pieces of the grisly puzzle into place, thanks to their unparalleled access to the families of the killer and his victims.”

Hitler’s Furies: German Women in the Nazi Killing Fields - “ History has it that the role of women in Nazi Germany was to be the perfect Hausfrau and a loyal cheerleader for the Führer. However, Lower’s research reveals an altogether more sinister truth. Lower shows us the ordinary women who became perpetrators of genocide. Drawing on decades of research, she uncovers a truth that has been in the shadows – that women too were brutal killers and that, in ignoring women’s culpability, we have ignored the reality of the Holocaust.”

Tent Number Eight - “ On a warm summer day in 1977, the State of Oklahoma was shaken by the heinous and vulgar murder of three Girl Scouts in Tent Number Eight at Camp Scott near Locust Grove, Oklahoma. The investigation of their murders and the subsequent trial of the Native American man accused of those murders will forever be marked as one of the most historical in Oklahoma history. Author Gloyd McCoy dissects the investigation of the Girl Scout murders as well as The State of Oklahoma vs. Gene Leroy Hart from the vantage point of the families, the law enforcement, the news reporters, the lawyers, the judges, and the jury. He provides background information on all the parties involved and explanations regarding why certain decisions were made, including the acquittal of the accused murderer, and what might have happened if the lawyers on both sides had made different decisions and modern technology were available. Tent Number Eight will enlighten you on the court proceedings and cultural influences of 1977 and preserve this piece of history in your mind forever. Follow the overgrowth of history back to the site of the crime. Step into Tent Number Eight and witness the events of the murders and trial first hand.”

The Only Living Witness: The True Story of Serial Sex Killer Ted Bundy - “ Ted Bundy was America’s first celebrity serial killer, and one of the most chilling enigmas in criminal history. Handsome, boyish and well-spoken, a law student with bright political prospects, Bundy was also a predator and sexual deviant who murdered and mutilated at least thirty young women and girls, many of them college coeds but at least two as young as twelve.”

Click here to see my other true crime related master posts.

Mick Rory and survivor's guilt

A post by @coldtomyflash reminded me of a topic I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while now: Mick Rory and his survivor’s guilt, and how it plays into his loss of Len and his characterization on the second season

Mick’s got loads of survivor’s guilt, from his childhood right up through legends. Mick’s survivor’s guilt started, undoubtedly, with the death of his family. He caused the fire that killed them, even though it was an accident, and his mental illness got the better of him and prevented him from seeking help for his family. That’s the normal survivor’s guilt – living through an accident that others, particularly those you’re close to, do not – with the added heap of self-blame on there to mess him up even further. We see in 2x12 of Legends how that guilt and blame are already starting to sublimate into self-harm – burning himself with matches, at that time. As people grow older, and since we can assume Mick received little professional help being, based on the Legends timeline, and adult or just shy of it at that time (depending on birthdates – his is never specifically given, but 1990 is the year Leonard would have turned 18, and we have to assume they’re at least close in age).
We don’t get to see exactly what happens after they return Mick to the timeline after the fire, but it’s most likely not good. He’s wrapped up in blaming himself, starting to self-harm, and probably a bit of a pariah with the community he came from after the fire. He probably still has Len at this point, but other than that? Mick doesn’t really have anyone else.

The other thing Mick doesn’t seem to have is a whole lot of self-esteem. Len didn’t finish high school; Mick probably didn’t either, if he even went. Rural farming communities do not have the best educational pushes, particularly if your parents don’t think it’s useful, or if they think you’re going to take over the farm or something. So he probably is undereducated and doesn’t think he’s very smart; he may have been told so, as his father doesn’t seem like much of a gem. He never refutes any of the bad things said about his intelligence by any of the team members, even when they very obviously hurt him. Even with the pirates episode, he feels unwanted. Part of it may be because he doesn’t want to admit he has feelings to hurt, but part of it is also probably because part of him thinks they’re right. You can’t argue with facts, no matter how much you resent them.

So Mick’s got survivor’s guilt and self-esteem issues right off the bat when we get to him in Legends, and we can start to see Mick sublimating it into sacrificing himself for the only constant left in life: Leonard.
It’s most obvious in the Gulag episode, where Mick makes himself a distraction so that Leonard can get out. Now, mick’s not one to sacrifice himself for just anyone or anything; he’s not about to sacrifice himself to save Raymond in the yard, because Ray doesn’t matter. Not yet, anyway; not until Raymond takes a beating for him. Then, things change. Because then Mick feels responsible for him.

Mick does not want to be responsible for other people. I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s worth repeating, because his survivor’s guilt is probably a large part of why he doesn’t want to be in charge or responsible for anyone else. We can see it with Sara: being in charge means that you shoulder some of the blame for what happens to your team, at least in most people’s minds. Mick doesn’t want to be to blame for the death of people who he’s supposed to be working with. If he shows up, does his part, and things go wrong and people die, that’s not his fault. He doesn’t have to take on that guilt because hey, he did his part, it wasn’t his fault. Should’ve been planned better, or someone should’ve done their part better, or something, anything that means he’s not responsible for more people’s deaths. (Clearly, he’s fine being responsible for other people’s deaths if he’s working against them, but that’s a horse of a different color.) Is also why he pushes people away; if he doesn’t have friends , he can’t be hurt by them dying or being hurt, which is probably particularly important given his chosen profession, where there’s a lot of violence and death.

But now Raymond has MADE him responsible. Because he took a beating meant for Mick, if he dies because he’s too hurt to get out after Mick and Len left him, Mick would feel responsible for Ray’s death. He’d feel guilty. And Mick can’t bear that much more guilt. That’s why he won’t leave Raymond at the gulag. He doesn’t want to be responsible for Raymond’s death.

And the Len takes his place at the Oculus.

Leonard is, by Mick’s own admission, his only friend at the time. He’s known Len for very nearly thirty years, based on their ages and the timeline we’re given. And Leonard has, to Mick’s mind, died because of him, because honestly, if Raymond had still been the one at the Oculus? I do not for a minute believe that Leonard would have sacrificed himself. So Mick wakes up and finds that, essentially, everyone he’s ever cared about has died, because of him. Keep in mind – this is only a few episodes after they took Teen Mick from the fire. Mick JUST revisited those painful memories and most likely reopened all the wounds and made the guilt even worse.

That’s probably a large part of why Mick and Sara – who both start season 2 dealing with the loss of a family member, as you can consider Len Mick’s family at this point – deal so differently ,and why it seems to affect Mick much deeper. Sara lacks that guilt about Laurel’s death – she wants to change it, of course, and she certainly wasn’t pleased that she wasn’t there when it happened – but I think she believes Rip when he tells her she wouldn’t have been able to stop it, and her initial quest to kill Damian shows she does blame him for Laurel’s death (as she should). Mick, though – all that anger and pain are reflecting right back onto him, and he sublimates it the way he always has – self-harm, this time in the form of suicidal behaviors.

Mick can’t quite bring himself to just end it – there may be a variety of reasons, but it’s not uncommon, when dealing with survivor’s guilt, for the person to have conflicting feelings of a desire to end their life, while still feeling that they’re not allowed to. After all, they lived through the event, so if they kill themselves there tends to be a sense of having wasted their survival. Mick deals with this by throwing himself into dangerous situations there’s a good chance he won’t live through – running into gunfights without ammo, setting off explosives he doesn’t intend to leave, picking fights with speedsters on the Waverider. He wants to die, because he feels like the cause of everything bad happening to people he’s close to, but he can’t bring himself to be the direct cause of it, because that would, in a sense, be wasting Leonard’s sacrifice.

Which is why it is supremely shitty, to the highest degree, for someone to say to this man – to his face – that he shouldn’t give advice on partnerships because look how his turned out.

Like, holy shit.

When he said that, Stein was all but saying that Leonard died because Mick wasn’t a good partner. He says that to a man suffering from survivor’s guilt and self-esteem issues who he KNOWS has been hallucinating his dead partner out of sheer grief. And he just throws it in his face, and then proceeds to take the advice Mick gave him anyway because IT WAS GOOD ADVICE!

I nearly lost my damn mind.

anonymous asked:

Idk, it doesn't seem totally right to me to not tell someone you may have given them an STD, or might give them one. If this were AIDS for example, I doubt you'd be saying it's not your responsibility to divulge information about any STD's you have. A lot of feminists say that having sex with someone while deliberately withholding information from them that would make them not want to have sex with you is a form of rape, and while I'm not sure I'd go that far it does seem pretty shitty.

Why don’t you check my STIs tag or my HIV tag to see me saying exactly that, over and over and over again? 

Yes, in an ideal world, there would be decent sexual health education and no stigma about STIs, and we could all easily get tested and treated regularly and could share our statuses without fear.  That would be jolly.  But that, comrade, is not the world in which we exist. The fact is, most people do not know shit about their own sexual health, or the ways in which STIs can and cannot be passed (sex workers are better than the general population than this – we have reason to be). 

Your risk as a sexual actor is very much in your hands: If you want to have sex where there is a zero percent chance of being exposed to an STI, you can get a perfectly serviceable vibrator for under a hundred dollars (while lube and your hands are cheaper yet).  Human beings carry germs, and sometimes pass those germs between one another. If you want to have sex with another human, you can bring your odds of catching anything right the fuck down by using barriers, using PrEP if that’s relevant, and by engaging in sex acts that carry lower risks.  All of these choices – ones that you  make about your body (which is the only body you get any say about), are far more reasonable harm reduction options than “demanding everyone I want to have sex with share their intimate medical information with me.”  

The post you’re whining about is specifically addressing a sex worker.  Sex workers are criminalized for our profession in most parts of the world, and experience stigma and state violence everywhere. A sex worker who discloses an STI risks actual violence from clients or from police, and risks tanking their financial well-being – if a client doesn’t disclose (and they won’t), and gives you an STI, they’re not going to pay your rent and for your groceries while you recover, and if it becomes known in client communities that a sex worker had an STI, even if it’s a completely curable one, it could more or less permanently prevent them from earning enough money to survive.  

DGM Film Noir/Detective Thriller AU

have some headcanons, because i can’t NOT rant about this ok 

- Link is a cool, by-the-book LAPD officer and detective. He’s your typical workaholic; doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t date– squeaky clean. His department is always clashing against Allen and co.’s investigations. They see Allen as a vigilante and a wannabe cop; and Allen sees the force as corrupt and gunhappy.

-  Link really, really wants to believe that the force is good, and that his orders are right– however, he slowly begins to learn that the law doesn’t always intersect with what is right. Probably starts corroborating with the private eyes.

- Levellier is the LA chief of police. Always reminding Link that sometimes, violence is a necessary adjunct of their profession. Link silently disagrees.

- Allen’s a private investigator. Sees the police as gunhappy and corrupt; and is, in that sense, kind of a vigilante. Has a ton of underworld contacts. Rumoured to have spent several years running with a gambling ring. He’s been a pain in the LAPD’s ass for a handful of years now. He’s in good with Lavi, a reporter from The Los Angeles Bookman, and the two of them co-operate frequently. More often than not, it’s an information deal. Allen brings Lavi stories, and Lavi lends his journalistic eye to Allen’s investigations.

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One of the most legitimately interesting traits about Nate Heywood, in my opinion, is that he actually is a pretty callous guy.

This isn’t to say that he isn’t charming or likable.  But there’s an actual disconnect that I find really kind of fascinating when it comes to dealing with someone else in danger or in pain.

The best example of this is how he was grinning and playing with his powers while Jonah was hanging from his noose.  And it is pretty understandable that Nate was having fun with his powers, having, presumably, spent so long living with hemophilia.

But still, when a man hangs from a noose next to you, and you are too busy having fun to react to it?  That’s pretty callous.

Another example of Nate’s callousness was in Compromised: when he figures out that Amaya and Rex were in love.  He is so very gleeful about solving the mystery, and completely forgets, or ignores, that he’s talking about a dead man to the woman who loved him and a close friend/teammate.

It’s not that Nate is a bad guy, but that’s twice now that Nate’s gone beyond oblivious to actual insensitivity and lack of empathy/feeling for others.  Which makes me think, it might well be a deliberate character trait.

Possibly a third time: when Ollie and Nate stumble onto Mick and start thawing him out, Nate seems to wander off for a bit.  Most of the other characters would have stuck around to see if this stranger recovered.

It’s also a perfect illustration as to why I get so frustrated when people call Rip Hunter callous.  Because he absolutely is NOT.  Ever.  He IS undeniably an asshole sometimes.  But there is a clear difference between someone who is an asshole because of grief/anger/pain and someone who is an asshole because they just don’t seem to care.

Rip’s explosion at Mick is a completely different kettle of fish than the laughing glee Nate showed when he announced that Amaya loved Rex.

And it’s the sort of thing that makes me wonder a bit about Nate.  His backstory really doesn’t seem to add up.  His behavior doesn’t suit his profession.  He seems oddly okay with witnessing violence and dealing with death for someone who spent most of his life sheltered and protected from injury.  He’s more callous than he ought to be. 

He knew about timeline changes before he went to Ollie, and in fact, he’d started studying them because of a “Quantum Physicist” friend.  And when I think about it, that line was a really weird dialogue drop.  Like, usually, when a named character uses a vague descriptor like that, there’s one of two meanings.

The first is that the description is an easter egg that references something from the character’s comic book existence (or sometimes an actor’s other role, such as when the President in Supergirl tells her that she should see her “other plane”.)  But there are no quantum physicists connected to Nathan Heywood’s comic book backstory.  Nor does it seem to be a reference to any famous role of Nick Zano’s.

Which brings us to the second meaning: it might be a clue as to something going on in the DCTVU.

How many quantum physicists do we know of on Earth 1?  Martin…who doesn’t seem to have a previous acquaintance with Nate.  Wells?  Maybe Cisco or Ray Palmer could count, in that way that all comic book scientists and inventors seem to cross fields. But Oliver knows Cisco and Ray, so why not name them?

But there’s another option.  There’s one guy who the arrow wiki lists as a physicist, who is in this season of Legends of Tomorrow even…

Eobard Thawne. 

And isn’t it kind of interesting that, except for Abominations, NATE has been the reason that the team has gone to various locations:

It was Nate’s missing dogtags that led the team to go back to the JSA (where Nate ends up with powers, indirectly due to Eobard Thawne’s serum.  Also where the team picks up a stowaway with clear historical significance to the timeline.)

It was Nate’s training session with Ray that caused them to fall out into Edo Japan, and promptly kill a shogun ten years early.

It was Nate’s invention (presumably with Ray and Martin, but isn’t it kind of interesting that neither Ray nor Martin have claimed a role in creating that thing?  Wasn’t Ray busy learning to use the cold gun during that time?) that led them to the Reagan administration: where Eobard promptly gets a new recruit and Martin screws up his own personal timeline), and it also got them back to Turnbull County, where the team picks up a lot of dwarf star alloy.

I’m not necessarily saying that I think Nate is a villain or anything.  But we know how Eobard likes to use unwitting dupes.  And so far, he does seem to be coming out of his encounters with the team having gained something.

(And isn’t it an interesting bit of timing that Gideon, who shares a name and graphic with Eobard’s old AI, has suddenly become very quiet and locked down since Rip left.  Since Nate joined.)

I might be reading way too much into this, but I could really get into Nate’s story if he turned out to be Eobard’s unwitting dupe, or even a minor henchman.  There would be so much potential there.  His story might actually make sense.  And then there would be investment in whether or not he chose to join the team for good, or if he decided not to.

Either way, it would be a lot more interesting to me than just a callous, bad historian version of Ray Palmer…

I feel like we don’t talk about this quite as much, but…

Genji… was probably in Blackwatch after he was revived, wasn’t he…?

He wouldn’t have been front and center, not a poster boy for the organization. I doubt many people even knew he existed, and even if they did it is HIGHLY unlikely he did any high profile work. His body makes him too conspicuous for that, but his talents make him perfect for what his purpose in Overwatch ended up being. Namely, taking down the Shimada Empire.

I know other people have probably touched on this what with the explicit headcanon that Genji and McCree were Besties™, but like…

Blackwatch was ROUGH. We KNOW it was rough. It’s one of the only things we know for sure about it. Blackwatch had the thankless jobs, the dirty work, the real psychological toll. Angela’s in her lab hemming and hawing about “do no harm” and being a professed pacifist and being so tortured about aiding an organization that commits violence, meanwhile Reyes and McCree and a whole other section of people are doing the riskiest and filthiest and most necessary of jobs, because it’s what they’re good at and it’s what the world NEEDS.

Genji may have been a special asset in that he could guarantee the success of their efforts to dismantle the Shimada Clan, but if there was even a chance that he could be recognized during that there’s no WAY they’d let him do the above board stuff. Plus his abilities suit Blackwatch better than the rank and file heroes do. It’s a definite possibility.

We’re always talking about mi hijo (Jesse) and PTSD and the trauma stemming from jumping from Deadlock as a kid to Blackwatch as a teenager and young adult to wanted vigilante as a grown man, and my concern about him remains. But if Genji was in Blackwatch with him, it would definitely explain why he was so tortured for so long after being saved by Angela, why working with Overwatch wasn’t enough to bring him peace. (I mean in addition to his self-hatred, body issues, and the whole extortion thing. Actually, lemme tell you, I am still pissed about the fact that they offered him a fucking DEAL to save him from DYING. What was WRONG with Overwatch back in the day?! I will always maintain that Reyes made a deal to recruit mijo specifically because he didn’t want a fucking kid going to max on his watch, and because mi media naranja is the stalest and sweetest of cinnamon rolls, so THAT I can excuse. But with Genji, it’s the equivalent of dangling an antidote in front of someone who was just poisoned until they GIVE you something. Sure the INTENTION might have been good, but the ends don’t justify the means when the means!!!!! Involve playing with someone’s desire to live!!!!! Like a cat bats at a fucking catnip mouse!!!!!!) Because he WASN’T Overwatch, per se. He was Blackwatch. And if what we know of at least two of the former members of that group is true, that doesn’t bode well for Genji’s psyche in his early years as a cyborg. And explains a lot of his bitterness, even beyond being almost murdered by his brother and having to deal with a body that didn’t feel like his own.

What I’m trying to say is that Blackwatch does not seem to churn out well-adjusted individuals. Even more than Overwatch, it’s a hotbed of trauma, guilt, and psychological stress. And that kind of makes me want to cry for mijo, mi media naranja, and possibly now my carrot cake son.


Legend - Official Teaser Trailer

The film is based on the book ‘The Profession of Violence: The Rise and Fall of the Kray Twins’ by John Pearson, which deals with the rise and fall of the Kray twins; the relationship that bound them together, and charts their gruesome career to their downfall and imprisonment for life in 1969. 

The film focuses on the life of Reggie Kray, as he seeks to control the psychotic tendencies of his twin. [x] [x]

They were a wicked couple really. They were frightened of no one and loved every minute of it. Something got into them once a fight started, and you could see they enjoyed the violence, really enjoyed it. If I was cutting somebody or putting the boot in, I’d usually hold back a bit - never the twins though. If you watched their faces while they did it, you’d see real hate. They always went the limit.
—  The Profession of Violence (The Rise and Fall of the Kray Twins), by John Pearson.
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The new Legend trailer + interview with Director Brian Helgeland:

Tom Hardy can bring this unique dimension to misguided, even evil characters — in films like Bronson, The Dark Knight Rises,and now in Legend. Why do you think this is?
He’s really a true actor. He’s looking for the part to play. Most movie stars have a persona. You get the same guy over and over again, it’s a comfort zone. They figure out what it is their audience wants to see out of them and deliver it. That’s what makes a movie star in a lot of ways. Tom, I don’t think, has an interest in that. He’s all about the character. There are these wild swings in what he does. He’s very much a chameleon, never plays the same guy twice. That makes him hard to pin down. … Even when he’s a protagonist, it’s a character performance he’s looking to do, really.

The irony in that is I got the best of both worlds because of the character of Ron Kray is, in the world of crime, one of the great characters of all time. He’s so outrageous. Because [Tom] got to play Ron, it made it OK for him to play Reggie who’s much straighter. What was exciting for me was I wanted Reggie, on the surface, to be more of a classic leading man movie star, which Tom is not really interested in playing that. But in this case he played it because it’s a counterpoint to the other brother. He was handsome and dashing, and all those things he generally avoids.

And he can fight.
He’s very serious about that stuff. I am, too, but not to the degree he is. I think the physicality of a character is part of how he expresses who the character is, so he doesn’t want to end up in some generic fight scene. Both brothers have their own style in approaching violence. That’s as important to him as bringing the person to life as anything else that he has to do.

We went through weeks and weeks of rehearsals to get a move down so it could be played for real when we were going at it. There’s a scene where he fights himself, or the brothers fight, I should say. His stuntman Jacob Tomuri — they know each other from Mad Max: Fury Road — that morning when we were going to roll, Tom came up to me and asked, “How many takes do you think you’re going to do?” Which he never asked me ever. I said, “Why you want to know?” He said, “Well, because we’re going to be really hitting each other. [laughs] So I need to know so we can pace ourselves.” I said, “In that case I would say three takes.” He goes, “Oh good! Three takes we can go for it on each take.” It was three takes and they really hit each other. I’m terrified Tom’s going to have his nose broken in the middle of a take.

How did you wind up casting Hardy?
My initial instinct was to get two guys to play the brothers. Reggie’s the lead. I knew I had to cast Reggie first whether same actor or not… Tom was on the top of the list for Reggie. He read it right away — I was in London at the time — and we had dinner. Casting two guys means you’re tied in to having guys who look similar. I figured I’d try to get Tom for Reggie then worry about someone you’d believe as his twin brother. He was talking about both brothers. He was very familiar with them as most people over there are. And about halfway through dinner as I was listening to him and looking at him, I was starting to think he could pull off playing both. I was also initially worried about that because I didn’t want it to be a gimmick. On one hand it’s exciting but you don’t want it to be swallowed up by that conceit. I thought he could pull it off because he has such a take on both of them. At the end of dinner he preempted me. He said, “I’m in. I want to play Reggie but I’ll only do it if I can play Ron also.” Right on the spot I said, “That’s a deal.” And we were off and running from there trying to figure out how to do it.

How did Hardy shift from one twin to the other while filming?
He went, from hour to hour, he would be one or the other. There were exceptions, but he usually Reggie during the first part of the day because it was the bigger part. Then many days Ron didn’t work at all. But if it was the two of them, Tom and I would rehearse in the morning and he’d read both parts and we’d work out blocking. He’d record Ron’s side of the dialogue, give it to sound guy who’d cut it together in a way he could fit his Reggie dialogue in between his Ron dialogue. Then he’d go off to hair and makeup and come back. He would wear an earpiece that no one could see. We would play Ron in his ear. His stunt man was his body double for Reggie and Ron so he could have someone in front of him to look at. Then we’d play back Reggie’s recording in his ear when he was playing Ron.

Why Legend — and not the plural — Legends?
First of all, it’s about Reggie, really, more than Ron. They’re part of legend as far as lore and legend go, like the legend of Robin Hood or the legend of King Arthur. The legend of the Kray twins fits right in there. … It’s hard to know what’s true or untrue about them. ln some ways this is my version of the legend. I hope through all the research I did, that it’s a closer version to the truth.

I take it you went beyond The Profession of Violence: The Rise and Fall of the Kray Twins — the book on which Legend is based?
The book is reportage. It’s just the facts of where they were born and this and that. It draws some conclusions about twins. It’s very keen on twins being in tune with each other, which I didn’t find to be the case from the people I talked to. It was helpful for the timeline of when things happen. I did an enormous amount of research before I wrote the script as far as meeting a dozen or so people who knew them. And reading every book I could get my hands on — even the cheapest most dime-store book. It was interesting to see where they all overlapped.

Legend opens in theaters Oct. 2. //  via

The first time we had met and I had fallen in love looking at my wife’s beautiful brown eyes and long lashes. Now all this was gone but the memories will stay for me forever.

Reggie Kray.

The Profession of Violence. The Rise and Fall of the Kray Twins - John Pearson.


Legend | Stills and gifs

Admire Tom Hardy

(google transl.)

These days there is much talk of The Revenant and Oscar nominations. Leonardo DiCaprio will say that deserves to win for once; It discusses whether Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu is a genius or a megalomaniac unbearable, and anyone who can see love the spectacular photography of Lubetski. Between all that, you might be relegated the great work of Tom Hardy, even with his Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
Should not, except when there is almost an overdose of Hardy in today’s cinema. The British actor, who became known worldwide for her work in The Origin and The Dark Knight rises, both of Christopher Nolan, not only looks playing the enemy of DiCaprio in The reborn and is the protagonist Mad Max: Fury on the road, another Oscar-nominated for Best Picture, but is also twice Legend: the profession of violence. In this film of Brian Helgeland, Hardy plays the Reggie and Ronnie Kray twins infamous London gangsters of the 60s, in a remarkable double act that manages to differentiate the two brothers and that no amount is embodying the same actor.
Just see it in the film and compare their work with any of the others to admire how the actor appropriates each role, with great intensity, but may be more subtle when a scene requires. You can spend thread, as Ronnie Kray, but also make a more opaque interpretation Delivery. No overflowing charisma being Tom Hardy, let the characters take over and transmits what he needed. Theirs is not a movie star but a good actor. It is not little; movies really need. (x)

I’ve been trying to be unbiased in this whole ‘Amber and Johnny’ thing. Because I take domestic violence very seriously. And I was starting to think that maybe Johnny did do something. But she said that the incident(the pictures she used as evidence) happened on may 21st. And yes, she had a serious bruise in the picture(shown above). But look at the size of that bruise. And how close it is to her eye. I got hit on the cheek bone with a piece of glass, no bigger than a nickle and I got a full on black eye that took two weeks to fully go away. That circled area, that’s the entire area that was hit by the thrown iphone(that she said but has now said she never said any of that.) The way that the markings are in the picture, she should have had a nasty black eye and bruising in that entire area. Especially since the area of the redness is so close to the eye socket. 

Within 1 or 2 days, the hemoglobin(an iron-containing substance that carries oxygen) in the blood changes and your bruise turns bluish-purple or even blackish. After 5 to 10 days, the bruise turns greenish or yellowish. Then, after 10 to 14 days, it turns yellowish-brown or light brown. 

It took my black eye to fully heal after 2 weeks. And I just got hit in the face with a piece of glass. But getting hit in the face with an iphone, especially since Amber said he wound up like a pitcher and threw it, that has a greater force. I don’t know much about iphones(im an android user, through and through) But, I know they are not as resilient as people think(my sister’s screen broke from just dropping it from the couch). But they can do some serious damage if thrown the way Amber had said it was. 

And she said this happened on the 21st of this month. So that was 9 days ago. So, 

Where is the bruise? With a contact area that big and having an object being thrown at you with the force that she said he did. Her bruise should still be there. Even the yellowish color(if it goes that way. It can be greenish) is still noticeable, even in pictures. 

Now, I don’t find anything wrong with her smiling or laughing. Because honestly, it’s the best medicine for the soul. But I’ve been seeing so many survivors of domestic violence come forward on this. Many saying that survivors, getting away from their spouse; do not ask for anything in return. They just want to be rid of them. My mum said the same when she left her boyfriend of 4 years before meeting my dad. My brother said the same when he divorced his wife. 

Neither of them wanted anything from their abusers.(my brother’s ex wife decided that she didn’t want her daughter anymore after my brother requested a divorce and gave up her parental rights to her daughter. My niece is now 12 and happy.) That’s what got me about this. She wanted things from Johnny. And no, I wasn’t in her situation. Victims do not have to explain why they stayed with their abusers for so long because people who are not in that situation, will not understand. But, even survivors(the ones i’ve seen talking on posts on fb about this) they all said they just wanted to get away as quick as possible. They wanted nothing to do with their abuser. They didn’t request anything from their abuser because they knew that would give them control. So why request spousal support. I know she’s a model and actress(i have not been impressed by her acting but I’ve only seen her in magic mike xxl), she makes really good money on her own. She shouldn’t need any support. She also wanted $50,000 a month in spousal support, $125,000 for her legal fees, their LA penthouse, his Range Rover and sole custody of their Yorkshire terriers. For now, a judge has granted her only temporary possession of the swanky pad. 

I don’t think any one who is a survivor of domestic violence, wants any ties to their abuser. My mother didn’t, my brother didn’t. The women AND men I saw commenting about their own experiences didn’t. And it confuses me why she would want things that would keep her tied to him. I did read what Johnny’s friend said in response to all of this as well. Doug, I think his name is(no clue who he is by the way), but much like Amber’s friends are coming to her defense, so is Johnny’s. 

I’m not going to take sides, honestly. Because this is something that none of us are in. I would defend my friends just like Amber’s and Johnny’s are defending them. All of us would. We believe in the people in our lives. It’s what people do when they care about people. But, I’m not going to sit here and crucify people I do not know. I know that ANYONE can be a victim of domestic violence. Women are more recognized for it because men get laughed at or never believed it could happen to them. Well, it happened to my brother. So, I will tell anyone who tells me it’s not possible for men to get abused, that it is. Amber might be lying. She might not be. Johnny might be lying. He might not be. None of us know. So for now, I’m being unbiased and hope the truth comes out. Because there’s three sides to every story. His. Her’s. And the truth. 


              Jim Gordon: Characterization on “Gotham”

This is a conversation sparked by Harvey Wallbanger’s fic “Latigo”. As it’s rather lengthy, it appears in under the cut, and has been edited from the original comments. The topic is what the writers have done with JIm’s characterization, and where they may go from here.

@sunlitroom, you may find this interesting.

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