I don’t deserve to be treated poorly by my friends, especially when they had the means to help me get away from my abuser and just didn’t (because I guess if I don’t show up on their doorstep in tears literally begging them for shelter I’m not really being abused and they need that spare bedroom for their waifu statuettes or whatever). And DOUBLE especially when they refuse to help me/look the other way/scoff, but have no problems making jokes about it to undercut that the situation makes them uncomfortable but they feel absolutely no other type of way about my physical and mental well being. Like sorry if I got myself into this by moving back in with my parents, sorry I had no transportation and no choice, but laughing about the fact that my mom is abused right along with me and implying she only got a job because everyone at their church knows and pities her is fucked up. It’s fucked up. I really envy people who don’t understand the self-worth part of abuse in relationships, and who undercut those people in their own minds all the time because they can’t understand what it’s like to fundamentally believe you are worthless. My mom is in a really bad place mentally that she might never dig herself out of, and she may have been violent when I was younger, but she still doesn’t deserve to live like this for the rest of her life, with someone who literally yells ‘I’m not yelling at you or hitting you so I don’t know what the fuck your problem is’ every time they get into it. Like calling her stupid and crazy and ugly and letting her believe that more than he does is okay. Is a funny joke. I don’t understand how one of my friends can seem so socially aware and knowledgeable about rape and be a victim of sexual abuse like I was and stiLL BELIEVE A WOMAN BEING COMPLACENT IN HER OWN ABUSE BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN MENTALLY BROKEN SOMEHOW PUTS HER AT FAULT… We may have been growing apart as friends anyway and I may publicly say she was just distant and hypocritical about mental health and put more effort into dodging me and making my anxiety go off than she did into simply telling me she was busy, but when I think about it, that comment was the thing that broke the camel’s back. She wasn’t the same person I met 8 years ago, who would have been compassionate and understanding and nurturing, who used to open her home to me as an escape from my parents in high school when my mom was worse. She loves to hoist that in a ‘look at all I’ve done for you’ kind of way, not considering that I tried to give that back whenever and however I could. The stacks would just never have been even in her eyes. On some level she started believing I deserved what I endured as much as my mom did. So the girl I walked away from two weeks ago?
wait, isn't it also a problem when people are aggressive about that sam only bottoms? like versibility exists