the prince and the pimp

Aldnoah.Zero by someone who didn't watch the show

I forced my friend to do this. This is her knowledge from what she heard from my babbling and I guess my tumblr wall. 

1.Briefly describe the plot     

“There’s mars people and earth people and theyhate each other cos FILTHY TERRANSS and I dunno there’s a princess in a jar and a lot of torture and 99.9% of the cast are guys.”

2. Who is this? What do you know about him?

“Slaine Troyard. He seems to be everyone’s fave to bully and torture. He’s also in love with the princess. He has a manservant. He seems to have turned into a badass recently (or… More mature?). But I don’t think he’ll get a happy ending.”

3. What about this guy?

“Is this inaho? Lel I’ll go with that. I don’t know too much about him. He’s like Slaines nemesis I think? Does he also love the braindead princes? She a pimp. Anyway uh, I don’t know that much about him except he doesn’t seem to show a lot of emotion on the outside. Yup.”

4. And 
this pretty lady?

“This is the princess. I’m not sure what her deal is. She seems to just be floating around in her tank all day. Still, everyone wants her so she must be doing something right.”

5. What is Aldnoah? 

“Whelp I thought I was doing pretty good here but I have no idea. Is it the princess? Is it a mecha? It might well be Slaine’s little toe.”

6. Who’s this handsome man?

“This is count sassybaum. He’s full of sass and has a baum up his ass. I think he was all like awww slaine imma be ur uncle now at first but then he was really a douchebag and slaine was like fuck this shit and he shot him and now he dead.”

7. And this?

“This is harklight. He’s Slaines manservant and seems to worship the ground the blonde walks on. When I’ve seen pics of him he always seems really serious and doesn’t say that much or give some advice to Slaine. He seems nice?”

8. Name something you would ship, and give the ship a name.

“I will ship Inaho and Slaine because they can have hate sex. They also complement each other in the looks division. I’d call the ship Inslaine because it sounds like insane badumtshh.”

FIN 

Ok this cracked me up. I hope someone out there got a laugh out of it too. She did very well though, I’m surprised!