(This is very much me writing on my phone and winding down after marking.)
Leonard should know better by now. At his stage in life he should be able to plan his life better so it doesn’t come down to this.
“Hey, Bones,” Jim’s far too cheerful voice prompts Leonard to raise his face from where it had fallen into his hands, and squint in Jim’s general direction. “Not that I wouldn’t find you attractive either way, but if our keep grabbi your hair like that you’re sure to go bald.”
“Fuck off, Jim,” Leonard growls, and reaches for the first PADD.
“I’d love to! But perhaps we should wait until your not drowning in PADDs.”
Leonard shoots Jim a glare that could sizzle skin at one-hundred paces, but Jim just ignores it with his usual aplomb. “I’ll get beer. Oh! And pizza! There’s this Andorian place-”
“Jim,” Leonard says with as much care as possible. “Sounds great. Why don’t you go out and get it?” Out. As in out of the house. If there’s any hope of getting this pile marked on time he’s going to have to concentrate.
Jim is not exactly conducive to concentrating.
“All right. All right. I’m going. But I expect you to take a break when I get back.”
“Yeah. Sure thing, darlin’,” Leonard replies, brow already furrowed as he tries to read the first essay and can’t make heads or tails of what the kid’s actually trying to say.
Lord help him, he’s going to die from an attack of bad grammar.
By the time Jim returns, Leonard had snapped three stylus’, with bits and pieces sticking wildly out of his hair, and his jaw is clenched as he stares down at the latest monstrosity these kids call an “analytical essay.”
“No shit, kid. Why don’t you tell me again that you’re focusing on the historical moment? What historical moment? Don’t children know how to cite sources anymore?”
“Pizza?” Jim offers instead of an answer.
“Nah, I’m not hungry yet- That’s not even the proper name of the book!” Leonard interrupts himself, and scribbles a note on the PADD.
“Beer it is!” Jim pops open two bottles of beer, and places one within easy reach. “Drink. It might be less painful.”
Three beers in, and it’s not less painful. “IT’S A MONOGRAPH, DAMMIT! NOT A NOVEL!” At least it’s the stylus flying across the room and not the PADD - the last essay had been so incomprehensible that he’d nearly chucked it at the wall just so he could have an excuse to demand a new one, and give the kid a little leeway for some serious editing.
“Find another fucking word,” Leonard mumbles as he bends over the PADD. “I get it. It’s a source, but do you have to say it three times in one sentence as well as every fucking paragraph.”
Jim curls up next to Leonard, finishing off the pizza he hadn’t touched and getting comfortable.
“I…I can’t find the conclusion, Jim. Did I miss it?”
Jim leans his chin on Leonard’s shoulder, pressing up against him to get a look. “Nope. I just don’t think the wrote one.”
“But…they’re 200 words under the minimum, that’s perfect for a concluding paragraph!”
“Just think,” Jim says softly, pressing a kiss just behind his ear. “That’s one less paragraph you have to look at.”
“You make a good point,” Leonard says gruffly, and reaches for the next PADD on the stack.
Jim reaches out with him and lays his fingers lightly over Leonard’s wrist. “Maybe you should stop for tonight? During that last one you actually wrote: ‘I don’t give a god damned hoot about what you believe, think, or what your pansy ass opinion is, make a god damned committed statement!’” Jim smirks. “I think I got that verbatim, good thing you didn’t send that off for review.”
“I can’t. I’ve gotta finish at least half of these.” No sooner do Leonard’s eyes land on the assignment, than does his eyebrow start twitching.
Jim watches in fascinated concern as Bones clearly tries to suppress another outburst.
"THE GODDAMNED HISTORICAL SOURCE IS NOT A FUCKING NOVEL CHILDREN. IT IS NON-FICTIONAL. IT IS A MONOGRAPH, A HISTORICAL TEXT. USE TEXT! NOT NOVEL!“
"All right.” Jim snatches the PADD out of Leonard’s hand and throws it back onto the pile as he climbs into Leonard’s lap. “I can’t just sit here and watch you give yourself an aneurysm.”
“I can’t actually-”
Jim interrupts Bones in the only way he knows will work without fail. He leans in, and brushes his lip over Leonard’s, and reaches to guide Leonard’s hands to Jim’s hips. “Shhh,” Jim whispers, pressing another warm, unhurried kiss to Leonard’s lips, sliding their lips together slowly.
“It’s time for me to assist,” Jim smirks, threading his fingers through Leonard’s hair. “How shall I help you, professor?”
Leonard groans, his hands tightening on Jim’s hips to pull him more firmly in his lap. His eyes slide half closed and he pulls Jim into a biting kiss. “Oh,” he hums in the back of his throat. “I’m sure we can come up with a lesson plan.”