the porcelain boys

You see him first in a glare of sunlight through clouds, armored up in shiny coverings, the sort of bracelets that have bandaids hidden underneath. The kind of opulence that covers up the decay inside. Cumulonimbus blossoming out of pale white. You love him anyway. You love him like he’s an airborne spark and you’re a forest full of dry wood, like you never knew how to love until he came along. He loves you back like lightning reflecting off of his cloud white teeth. He loves you back.

The two of you are still incomplete, though, lightning without thunder, clouds without rain, just a summer day desert electrical storm that quietly knocks out power grids. You kiss like staticky cotton balls, every fiber drawn towards the sky and the ground. Your skin prickles with shock when he loops his hand through yours but your other hand hangs loose at your side and so does his. He stretches like a wispy cloud trying to cover up a blue sky and you rub your feet along carpets. It’s not enough.

He finds someone at a bar one night, says she laughed like rain in an overturned umbrella, says her hand fit in his empty palm like a cloud heavy with rain, that he came home without a wallet, without a watch. With a business card tucked into his pocket. He tells you this and you kiss him, positive to negative, tell him to get his girl. You tell him that you love him like electricity loves a rainstorm and he smiles. She comes home and drenches the house with her presence. You love her like nothing else, because she carries you to new places. You love them both.

But even with the three of you, rain and cloud and ground, and the lightning that occurs when you all end up in the same place, it’s quiet. It’s powerful, you love her like exposed wires in a flooded basement, encompassing, deadly, and you love him like a taser sputtering in your hand, but it’s quiet, even if it’s deadly, even if it’s beautiful. It’s not enough.

You meet her in the streets and she throws a grenade past you and it rumbles in your chest. She drags you onto the back of her motorcycle and roars through the back ways. You feel her laugh vibrate though your jacket, your arms holding on for dear life. You tell them about her, and light as rain, soft as clouds they kiss you, tell you that they love you and then torrential, blotting out the sun, they push you to the door, static against your back, tell you to go get her. You bring her home and the sky shakes. You loop your hands through thunder and clouds and rain and thunder link together and the circle is closed as rain and cloud grab onto each other desperately.

It is enough. Finally, it is enough.



{{for @fahchaus}}

i. you are a porcelain boy who can be torn with just a little tap and he stands so tall; you can hardly see him at first. people look right through you to snatch a quick look at him but he asks you your name and when he says it, you think you might have found a place to feel at rest- inside the melody bouncing off his chest.

ii. he is expected to hold too many hearts in his hands one day, but he already has yours. you should be afraid but you watch, and watch, and watch, and do not mind if he holds it too tight.

iii. there are no words that could keep you away from him. no twisted forms of letters in any damn language that could get you to stop kissing him. they yell, protect yourself. you ask, from what? love is not something i will hide from.

iv. darkness tries to blind you but light glows from his skin on bed sheets, in tents, hiding away for the night. during the day, red bleeds but you forget about those horrid colours when you look at the soft blue shore in his eyes and feel the twirl of waves from his body against yours. swoosh, splash, a gentle touch here and there and you wonder how your soft hands could make the beat of his breath sound like a song, a beautiful song. nothing that happens beneath sunlight matters and the moon holds everything better.

v. love was never something you wanted to hide from so you fight, and face the daytime horrors with a courage beating through you that you have never felt before. for him, you know you would do it all. you would swim through the oceans and fight though every battle a spear throws at you; even if it means that you will jump right into a sea of your own blood. you look death right in the eyes and whisper, i will not be afraid. for him, i will not be afraid.

vi. when you fall, you do not mind. your heart does not ache and feet do not shake. the only thing that hurts is him. you can hear the thunder booming in his heart. you wonder, can he breathe through the storm that he lets fall from his eyes? he is a walking hurricane and causing organs to shake in the hands he once touched you with. he is a walking tornado and spins different bodies into corpses with just a twirl. he is a walking monster now, just because of you, because your lips do not tingle when he presses his mouth against yours.

vii. you were a porcelain boy. a simple underdog but to him, you were a kaleidoscope of the hearts desire. he tore apart the world for a heart that no longer pounded. he tore apart the word for you. his name was heard from every corner while yours only appeared when his did. you were never anyone but through his eyes, you were everything and in the end, that was all you ever needed.

- you fall in love with the ones who make even bleeding appear beautiful. you fall in love with him. (ms)

Midas in the Graveyard
  • •There are new gods in the city. They are gods of fire and bullets and poison, gods of vengeance still screaming in their lungs. They are gods that are ghosts that aren't real. Just gravestones and rumors.
  • •They say he was their lover when they were alive. They say he could place a knife to their chest and they trusted him not to dig out their hearts. They say their hearts belonged to him anyways.
  • [They say a lot of things]
  • •If they are gods he is their butcher and preacher and most ruthless worshipper. He is their will and vengeance in a rust-red button up. He is their grave keeper in a cloud of cigarette smoke and denial.
  • •They say that are prices to pay for killing gods. They say his worship is bloody. They say that three graves are filled and a fourth one stands empty. They say he only harms those who harmed his ghosts, his loves, his deities.
  • [They say a lot of things]

Part 3, “Of paper bones and porcelain skin.”

In which everyone gets pissed off at me bc I insist on giving only small updates BUT LOOK AT THAT BOY’S FACE; HE’S GONNA FALL HARD AND QUICK I TELL YOU

(( Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 ))

Anyone wants to guess what happens next??? :^)

Neighbours to lovers! Guanlin
  • when you guys get to a certain part and think “"oh lol that’s me im ugly no one’s gonna like me ahahajssj” i want to say please don’t degrade your beautiful self, this is solely for storyline purposes, and i’d go at anyone who calls you ugly with a fucking chainsaw
  • dedicated to @wannawrite, this wasn’t updated on my masterlist so idk if you’ve seen this already,,,

- to start things off!! you lived in a terrace house
- terrace houses are generally really close to one another which resulted in your family being very close with your neighbors
- maybe even the whole street, since whenever a festival or holiday was coming up, everyone shared food and goodies around
- unlike many neighbourhoods nowadays, yours was really cozy and friendly
- that’s until one of your neighbors moved out
- that family’s breadwinner found a new job, but it was far away from where they lived, so they had to move
- the entire neighbourhood bid them farewell
- you were sad, since you were really close to their daughter, who was your age
- but it also meant that the house next to yours was empty
- and it’s quite creepy at nights
- you could see one of the rooms due to the short distance, and it was always black and dark in there yikeys
- you really hoped that some family would move in again otherwise the house might become haunted
- well congrats a new family did move in a week later
- you were lounging on the bed, doing some of your work and eating chips when your mother called you down
- you went down to see your mother helping another family carry a few boxes into the house next to yours
- “this is my child, y/n. y/n, they’re our new neighbors!!”
- you greeted the middle aged couple, and set off to help immediately
- the box you were carrying contained porcelain of some sort, and you were extra careful with it although it was lined with styrofoam
- you walked into the living room and set the box on the table, before looking around
- nothing had changed, and it had only been a week, but you were already missing the family that used to live here
- a guy walked down the stairs towards you, and you two kind of stared at each other for a few moments
- he was dressed casually, his hair combed back and boy, he was handsome
- the boy wordlessly pointed to the box and you snapped out of your stare, hurriedly handing him the box
- “it contains porcelain.”
- the boy simply nodded and made his way upstairs again
- the next thing you had to carry was a tv
- you were helping the lady to carry it, before the boy from before rushed to carry the other end the lady was carrying
- “mom, take a break, i’ll handle this.”
- wow such a good son
- you two made you way up carefully, and the boy directed you into a room before placing the tv down
- you looked around, and saw boxes of books and stationary, and most of all, you noticed from the window that this room was the room you could see
- “is this your room?”
- the boy nodded before fiddling with the cables
- “oh great, i’ll be able to see you from my room then.” you pointed across to the window in your room
- “what an coincidence.” the boy was half smiling, and it was the only expression you saw him make other than being expressionless
- “i’m y/n, what’s your name?”
- “guanlin, nice to meet you.”
- the conversation ended there because you mother was calling you to get back to your work
- you went back and settled on your bed, but when you looked up, you could see guanlin standing behind his window, staring at your direction
- you waved at him, to which he looked waved back a little awkwardly, and was that a blush you see on his face??
- guanlin was generally a shy and quiet kid
- however both of your parents became good friends after helping them to move and met up frequently
- both of your mothers would go shopping and both of your fathers would go jog together or something
- and they would always ask you and guanlin to stay together
- the both of you stayed in his room most of the time, you reading his comics and him doing his work
- since you both were pretty much constantly in each other’s presence, the relationship status between the both of you became more than an “acquaintance”
- you both were comfortable with each other although neither of you brought it up
- sometimes you both would watch dramas or movies together
- it results in inside jokes between the both of you, and it would always make the both of you crack up
- the time you spent with guanlin was either peaceful or fun, there’s literally no in between
- until he proposed to bring you to a night market one night
- it was nearby so why not
- the both of you had to stick beside each other due to the amount of people
- you both bought tons of food, played some games from the stalls and you won a small keychain
- it was a cute giraffe and you joked that it looked like guanlin, so he should keep it
- in return, he won a set of stationary for you at a mini basketball tossing game
- you both got back safely back to his house in the end, and to your surprise, neither of your parents came back
- guanlin offered you to sleepover in his house because you know being along in a terrace house can be scary sometimes
- his room had a couch, and you were going to sleep there, but then guanlin offered his bed to you
- he wouldn’t hear of you rejecting his offer
- and when you two finally went to sleep, you  fell asleep by breathing in his scent
- a little minty but with some sweet scent in it too
- and you generally had a really good rest that night
- this relationship continued on for about a few months
- and you two were really a perfect couple, the whole neighbourhood says so
- at times you two would be silent and others y'all would be laughing your asses off over some stupid thing
- you were clearly aware of your feelings towards guanlin
- you never thought of him more than a partner in crime or a best friend, but you couldn’t stop thinking about him at all times of the day
- you even tried to get him off your mind by studying a lot more and working a lot more, but the thought of guanlin would just float back casually
- you decided to spare yourself some trouble and accept that you had a crush on him
- what’s the use of denying it?? everyone knows and it was time for you to know it as well
- but you never thought of confessing
- knowing guanlin, who has the looks of a god, will probably find a prettier girl or something
- and he’ll avoid you because he doesn’t want to make you sad
- you decided to keep it to yourself for the time being, and see how things go
- meanwhile guanlin was coming to his senses too after his parents teased him about you
- his mother had joked that how she could just call you her daughter in law, and guanlin had blushed so much at the thought
- he questioned himself as to why he was so flustered over a joke, and he realised that he actually did have those feelings towards you
- guanlin realised this while brushing his teeth at night, so he dropped his toothbrush in the sink at the shock
- now guanlin’s a smart kid
- he knows that you probably won’t confess to him first, so it’ll be his turn this time round
- he went to the night market and bought a couple bracelet, just a silver chain with half a heart as the charm
- and when you visited next a dinner, he pulled you straight to his room right after
- you were confused, because you two would usually hang out after chatting around with his parents and vice versa
- “i’ve got something for you.”
- he clips the chain in place and silently fawned over your expression
- you were in awe, it was a simple accessory, but somehow you had a feeling that the meaning it held was much, much more
- “why is there half a heart? where’s the other half?”
- you actually already knew the answer, but you wanted to make sure
- guanlin holds up his wrist, and the opposite half of the heart was hanging there, on the slender chain
- you were confused as to whether it was a couple bracelet or a friendship one, when guanlin took your hands in his and looked at you in the eye
-  "y/n, let’s be a couple from now on. be my girlfriend.“
- so many things were happening and you couldn’t process it; guanlin’s soft grip on your hands which caused a small spark of electric tingle down your spine, and how guanlin’s irises were pools of brown galaxies, and did he just confess to you??
- when you finally snapped out of it though, you answered a yes, your voice much more calm than your heart and mind
- guanlin just smiles so wide with his gummy smile and leans closer to your face, when you two heard a squeak outside his bedroom
- you went over and opened the door, just to see your mothers red in the face and trying to gulp down their happiness
- "mom,,,”
- oh your mothers didn’t care, they were jumping around and squealing
- you looked back at guanlin who shrugged
- it didn’t matter though you’d have all the time to kiss guanlin in the future
- and the news of you two dating was known by the next day
- just how many people did you mom text?? or did they have a group chat??
- y'all were THE cutest couple ever to exist on the whole street
- your hand was always wrapped with guanlin’s, and you both would just turn red when someone teases the both of you
- but when you two get back home, guanlin would always place a sweet and light kiss on your lips, giggling afterwards
- kisses between the both of you will not be considered as a kiss without giggling or laughing or smiles in between
- it is one of the three, i guarantee you
- and since you both were neighbours, whenever guanlin stays up to study or work, before going to bed, regardless of how tired he is, he’d always check if the lights in your room are switched off
- sometimes he can still make out your figure in front of your table, and text you to go sleep
- he doesn’t sleep until you do, so you have no choice but to sleep
- you drop by his house when he’s busy and tired, with a few energy drinks and snack to cheer him on
- honestly the both of you are just sunshines in each other’s life it’s so cute