the poor loner

anonymous asked:

Head canoning/au: what if stiles was bit instead of Scott? Or in addition? DOB playing accidental werewolf stiles. Does it cure his ADHD? Does he embrace it? If Scott still dates Allison, does that make the drama more interesting and less cliched, less Romeo and Juliet, more how can you choose her over me? Or what if Peter bites stiles later in first season, when he mentions it canonically to stiles. How does stiles take to being a were? How do you think Sterek would be affected?

Continued: I mean, don’t get me wrong, I looooove human stiles and wouldn’t change him, love that he’s sarcastic but fragile, love that he’s a spark, or whatever, but not bullet proof… But I think he would handle the wolf stuff so differently than Scott did…

Oh Stiles would have 1000% handled turning very differently than Scott did, and season one would have been a completely different show. I’m going to start off saying that I agree, I love human!Stiles (and also spark!Stiles) too much to ever really be into the idea of wolf!Stiles or him turning, but it would have been interesting to see how that would have played out.

I’m going to run with the idea of Stiles being turned instead of Scott in this ask, because him being bitten as well would be a whole different ramble. 

First off, I think Stiles would have embraced the hell out of having superpowers. Scott enjoyed the benefits of being a wolf to get on the lacrosse team and win over Allison, but otherwise he was pretty desperate to be normal and ignore any elements of the supernatural going on in his life. Scott wanted a normal (well, popular sports star, but normal) life, but Stiles –– the geeky, World of Warcraft playing, superhero and sci fi movie loving geek that he is –– would have embraced the new wolf identity whole-heartedly. Remember, he was the one who actually figured out Scott was a werewolf (even jokingly) and helped him through learning control and connecting with his anchor. So I see werewolf!Stiles taking to be a wolf much faster than Scott did, if only because he would want to embrace it, want to learn as much as he could about it, want to be the best goddamn superhero werewolf he could be, because having superpowers is freaking awesome! 

So I think that, while for Scott the journey was one of “ugh, why is this happening to me” with a touch of “cool I can get a girlfriend now”, toward accepting that this was a permanent part of his life, for Stiles the journey would have gone in somewhat the opposite direction: from wholeheartedly embracing this awesome gift to slowly realizing –– as bodies piled up and hunters appeared in the picture –– that it might not be all sunshine and superpowers after all. (But I honestly think he’d handle that better too. Stiles is used to adapting to hard times, is a realist bordering on a cynic, and when he realized it was time to get serious I think he would have been able to ground himself and grow up fast –– though not without some serious griping along the way.)

I think the arc of the season probably would have changed a lot too, with Stiles as the core character. Along with his own research, he probably would have gone to Derek for answers and struck up a relationship much earlier on, wanting to learn as much as possible about the world he was now a part of. The main reasons he kept more of a distance from Derek in canon were because he was A) following Scott’s lead, since Scott was the one this was most affecting, B) he was scared of Derek (and certain feelings Derek was bringing out in him) and C) he was jealous that Scott and Derek were in this werewolf club together and he wasn’t, so he kind of wanted to nudge Derek aside to hold onto Scott better. All of which would have been different if Stiles were the one at the center of all the werewolf issues, with his own werewolf strength to match Derek’s.

(And in fact, he did go to Derek for answers a bit even in canon, like the scene in the police car when Derek was arrested –– and in an especially bad mood, I mean don’t get a guy arrested for the murder of his sister and then decide it’s time to chat. Just… bad timing there, Stiles –– and I think that would have been much more the norm in a world where Stiles was the werewolf.)

Since Derek would see Stiles actually invested in what was happening, actually wanting to understand (even in his snarky and skeptical way), I think Derek would have felt a lot more settled and secure than he did throughout canon season one. Derek’s main goals that season were to protect the stupid teenagers, get the stupid teenagers to take this seriously, and to feel a little less alone after losing Laura, and Stiles actually coming to him, wanting to learn, would change so much of that and leave him a lot more settled.

Ok, what else… I do think being a wolf would have probably cured Stiles’ ADHD, since the bite cured Erica’s epilepsy. Or at least… held it at bay. There’s a possibility that being exposed to wolfsbane, or other things that stalled out his wolf healing, would cause a resurgence of symptoms the way it did with Erica. Which would make wolfsbane exposure even more dangerous for Stiles, because it could potentially make him weaker and make it harder for him to focus on how to escape the situation.

As for Scott… I can see this going one of either two ways. Scott was very woe is me and Scott-centric throughout season one, and I’ll say somewhat understandably. He was the one who got the bite, who had his life flipped upside-down, and so it makes sense that he would be thinking about his own drama over other people’s. I’m also going to suggest that Scott’s overwhelming obsession with Allison was partly due to his being a new wolf (stronger senses, stronger instincts) and her being his anchor (being hyper-focused on her settled him). So, while I think a lot of Scott’s behavior was just down to his general personality, it’s also possible that a human Scott would have just reacted a bit more… normally, to getting a girlfriend. It’s also possible that, considering Stiles would be the one who was in trouble, the one whose problems needed to be focused on, Scott would have stepped up and been more focused on supporting Stiles in general. It’s easy when you’ve got a broken thumb to go “oh I have a broken thumb, feel bad for me, I can’t focus on your problems right now friend, my thumb’s hurting.” But if your thumb’s perfectly fine and your friend’s is the one that’s broken, you might be there and focused and more inclined to put them first and help them out.

(And yes, I just compared being bitten by a werewolf to having a broken thumb. I have no idea why. I’m sleep deprived with too much coffee in my system; let’s move on.)

So yes, it’s totally possible that human!Scott would put more focus on a werewolf!Stiles than on Allison, even causing him to leave her once he finds out her family are werewolf hunters. (Because again, it’s easy to keep dating someone dangerous when they’re threatening you and the poor loner werewolf you just honestly don’t care about :/ but if they’re threatening your best friend, that might change your attitude a bit.)

Of course, it could go in the complete opposite direction as well. Since we know Scott just wanted a normal life, the fact that Stiles was suddenly so completely not normal might set a wedge between them, even unconsciously. If that happened early on, it would probably push Stiles closer to Derek, push Scott closer to Allison, and potentially even lead Scott to side with the hunters if Kate or Chris managed to convince him that the werewolves were the dangerous monsters who stole his best friend from him. (And honestly this would be such an interesting dynamic to play out –– Scott trying to do the right thing, convinced by his girlfriend’s family that werewolves were the wrong thing. Maybe even convinced that killing the Alpha or Derek would turn Stiles back to being human, and that he’d be saving him by doing so. Leading Stiles and Derek into a trap by pretending to want to make amends, and then realizing his mistake when Kate ends up trying to kill Stiles too. And… damn, I want to write this now.)

Anyway, there’s so much more to explore here but I’ve definitely rambled on long enough. Awesome question, anon, thank you!

^ werewolf Stiles with Derek as his anchor ;P

yoonbum isn’t crying out of fear in this frame like we have seen him do before. He just sits on the ground after rejection. This frame breaks me, because i relate. 

This type of crying is reflecting years of loneliness, being and outcast, depression, mental illness, little to no self love. Bum crying here, is after rejection, of being treated like he is unworthy, and for people to not care. He is blatantly pushed to the ground like he is some underserving creep. This kind of crying i have experienced a lot in my life. Of course bum is in a worse situation so his crying is probably more stress filled.

But in this frame i see myself a lot: The lonely outkast kid, who so desperately wants to be part of something with someone, so much that people being kind once can make love appear in their head out of the blue. The child who is rejected again and again, constantly and forever reaffirmed that he is not welcome, that he is gross and disgusting and wrong. His tiredness, his stress, his hopelessness. He is in this frame sensing that there might not be another alternative outcome; nobody wants to save the loner with poor social skills.

It’s no explosive crying, but it’s the rawest most heartfelt of them. There he sits, rejected again. I see myself in that and it breaks my fucking heart to at any point acknowledge these feelings myself. 

What an amazing artist koogi is, to convey this exact emotion of hopelessness and real raw sadness. 

My Father, My Monster

by reddit user Elias_Witherow

This story literally made me cry. Trigger warning: child abuse

I had a hard childhood. I had a really hard childhood. Each day felt like survival. Thinking back, I’m surprised I’m alive. There are some things no one should have to go through. There are some things that are better left in the past.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Halseys also lied abt her past she made herself out to be an emo loner stoner poor kid but she rlly had a tumblr account dedicated to 1d/harry and wrote hate abt taylor swift when she and harry dated and when she was called out/exposed she accused everyone of bullying her and deleted her account... she also """dated""" a guy from 5sos and splashed it all over social media for attention... i think she's said all lives matter too or smth like that before or like guys struggle just as much as girls

📝📝📝 i see

downworlld  asked:

i'm in the mood for some theo x luna headcanons if that's alright! preferably dh or post-dh 💕💕

  • Luna disappears three Saturdays from Theo’s birthday
  • and he knows because he counts - has it marked on the calendar, with a small red x written by the date
  • and it’s jarring how much this shakes him, how much this drags him into the dark because for all his life, Theo Nott has had his ankles deep in the Dark Arts, but now the Dark Arts are clawing its way into his heart
  • he doesn’t see her for months. doesn’t know if she’s alive, doesn’t know what’s happening to her
  • (but she’s powerful - capable. he knows this)
  • in his mind, she is bright and beautiful and whimsical and shouldn’t be tainted, not by this
  • Theo doesn’t see her for months, and then as they’re being shunted out of Hogwarts, all green ties and stone-faces
  • he sees the flash of blond hair and the lilac sweater and the coke bottle necklace, all in one whirl and suddenly he can’t breathe
  • because safety is in reach, right there - he could leave and whisk away before anybody tries to use him
  • but Luna is there.
  • so he stays - doesn’t fight, spends the rest of the night hiding, and he’s always been good at hiding in the shadows, blending in
  • just “thin, weedy Nott” - “loner Nott” - “poor Nott”
  • Theo uses it all to his advantage
  • he survives. he knows, can feel it in his bones, that she does, too.
  • and then everyone is spilling into the Great Hall, resting on torn up tables - he scans and looks and glances but she’s not there but she can’t have-
  • “Theo.”
  • there’s no accusation to her voice, still as light and friendly and airy and maybe Luna’s known that he’d been looking for her, maybe in her whirl of a run earlier, she’d caught a glimpse of him too and - 
  • he kisses her. she tastes like vanilla and sweat and tears and Theo’s pretty sure the latter two are coming from him 
  • he kisses her. she kisses back. somewhere along the lines, the split caused by the war starts to heal.

     It’s safe to say there would be no Portraits of America without McDonald’s.       That’s where I’ve written most stories and worked on most photos. I’ve used its Wi-Fi and power outlets a thousand times, I’ve stayed awake and driven across the country on its cheap coffee. I’ve spent entire rainy days inside — and many nights. I’ve secretly eaten my own sandwiches, had free refills, and even showered there.
      Is it ideal? No. It sucks. But I’m grateful. It allowed me to meet thousands of people across the country, share their stories with thousands more, and continue to dream. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to, who relied on McDonalds to get by at some point in their lives. When they struggled and had to live out of a car, they would get up, go to McDonald’s, use the bathroom to freshen up, and then go to work. No one, not even their friends, knew about their predicament.
     And every time I hear someone say, “Oh, I hate McDonald’s. I’ll never go there,” I think “Good for you. But many people need it — to survive.” However you feel about its food, wages, impact on the environment, role in the disappearance of local diners and cafes, or anything else, the fact is that, for millions of people, McDonald’s has become a sort of shelter — safe and unassuming — on a par with public libraries, except with more locations, longer hours, cheap drinks, and TV. It allows people to remain inconspicuous and preserve their dignity. I’m not sure what this says about our society, but it puts things into perspective. The poor, the elderly, the loners, those between jobs or residentially challenged, they don’t go to organic eateries and fancy-ass coffee shops.
     I don’t know if it’s because of corporate responsibility or human decency, or whatever, but I have been asked to leave only once, in three years, right here in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Oddly enough, I had spent only 20 minutes inside. The security guard dozed off, woke up, looked around and thought, ‘Aaah, that dude with the laptop. He must’ve been here for hours.” In small-town America, there are no security guards, just elderly women who walk around with coffee pots to check on you and fill your cup, diner style. Once, after four hours and five refills, I told one particularly nice lady that I felt bad. ‘Oh, we’re happy to have you here,” she said.
     Even in those 24-hour locations along the major highways, where no one comes to you with a coffee-pot in the middle of the night, the staff looks the other way and never says anything about time limits and loitering. On many nights, I’m not alone. It’s 3am and the guy across from me has been there for hours. He’s left several luggage bags outside, but it’s clear he’s not catching a plane. He takes a nap, then looks at his laptop. My instinct is to talk to him and find out what his story is. But I stop myself, because, sometimes, I like to imagine. I want to believe that he hasn’t been homeless for long, that this is only a temporary setback, that he’s pursuing a dream, working on a big project, maybe even sharing stories with the world. And just like me, he wouldn’t be able to do that without McDonald’s.

kashi was saying that he was eating with amatsuki and mafumafu, and they were like “let’s call rib-san too!”

rib: (sadly) but in the end you never called me

kashi: ah that’s because the three of us are super close, so…

[comments: “ah..” “ah……” “huu…”]

kashi: you kno-

rib: wait wait sorry wait a second…hello? can you hear me? oh, ah sorry never mind wwww

kashi: huh? what happened

rib: ah no the comments were all “ah” so it seemed like kashitaro-san’s voice was going to cut off or something..but it turns out everyone was just bullying me for being a loner