the police blotter

You pick up weird hobbies,

Harry reflected, when you’re a hundred-year old fishman living at the bottom of the local lake. 

Not that he’d know personally. But he could observe his grandfather. And Grandpa Morty had the expected hobbies of a ten foot tall primeval man-fish hybrid- briefly surfacing in a way to confuse hobbyist  monster hunters and ruin their attempts at clear photography,  terrifying the local duck population, and the like, but then there was his other hobby.

Uncle Morty liked to solve crimes.

It started during the business when a cult had decided Morty was actually the  god of the lake and started sacrificing virgins to him.  Tips from Morty had been key in allowing the Sheriff’s office in tracking down the cultists and saving some of the victims.

But since Uncle Morty couldn’t leave the lake for very long, he couldn’t really do his own legwork.

And that was where his family came in, and since Harry had a government job that gave him an excuse to turn up just about anywhere in the area as the County Tax assessor, he wound up acting as the Archie Goodwin to his grandfather’s Fishman Nero Wolfe, more often than not.

And that’s why Harry, was sitting at the edge of the lake, reading the police blotter into a microphone whose terminal end was a transmitter about a hundred feet underwater, in case his grandfather had theories or information about one of the ongoing cases. 

The Charleston Daily News, South Carolina, June 22, 1867

An individual, to fortune and to fame unknown, endeavored to make a noise in the world, but finding his efforts unavailing he took an opposite tack and soaked himself with whiskey until his feelings overcame him, and he sank to sleep on the sidewalk. His lullaby was the pattering of the rain, but his slumbers were uneasy, and were soon disturbed by the rude clubs of the perlice. The guardians of the night took the sleeper in from out of the wet, and the Mayor charged him $5 for housing him.

Kingdom: Calm Before the Storm

Felt confident enough to post again!

Warnings from the prologue still apply! A bit more gore in this one but nothing too bad! It’s right before shit hits the fan so let’s go.

Quick Tag!: @ambrosegirlforever @neversatisfiedgirl @nickysmum1909                                  

Keep reading

Steve noticing something weird about Sam…a nervous tick that he gets whenever he’s in the vicinity of police. Steve doesn’t get it for a while, Sam has a beyond spotless record, hell, even Laura Barton had a wilder youth. But it’s definitelyly a tick. Sam freezes, puts his hands slightly forward and spreads his fingers, tilting his head down. It’s a very natural, casual looking walk, except his face clouds over into a blank mask. It happens so quickly, rolling away like a cloud when they’re fifty yards past that Steve isn’t sure that even Sam knows he’s doing it. It even happens after public missions, when police come to aid cleanup. Sam tends to stick around the fire rescue or paramedics. Once a pair of officers approached him and Sam looked ready to fly right back out for a split second before he caught himself and gave his statement.

Steve is trying to think it through over drinks with Nick when the director just shakes his head, “It’s a form of ptsd”

“There really aren’t a ton of American police in Afghanistan,” Steve says irritated.

“Yea, but there are in Harlem. You ever read a police blotter? They don’t publicize one tenth of the shit that really goes down there. There’s a 300% chance he saw a lot of bad shit going down and it wasn’t always headed by the so called bad guys. Your man had ptsd before he joined up,” Nick finished his whiskey in a single gulp and gestured for another, “We all did”

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anonymous asked:

In most states, when someone gets shot by their dog it's standard to only mention they've been shot. Florida is the only state where they mention all the embarrassing details, so that's why they sound like they have the craziest stuff happening.

Actually, “person shot by animal” is usually unusual enough that it makes the local news, regardless of where you are. In fact the only fatality I’m aware of from one of these cases was in Texas, so Florida’s off the hook this round.

That said, Florida is more free with their incident reports, but, I suspect the real issue is that Florida has more local news outlets that drag up the, “you won’t believe this shit” stories to kill time, in contrast to other places, like NYC, that have just as many deranged entries on the Police Blotters, but it gets filtered out by the media, in favor of “serious news.” To be fair, I am speculating a bit, here.

If you’re writing police characters, then Florida is very useful for getting an idea of all the loopy stuff they have to deal with everwhere.


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aiiaaya  asked:

i'm a writer who likes using passive voice sometimes. most people advise against it, but is it really all that bad?

First, let’s make sure we’re talking about the same thing. I have had teachers and editors rant on about “passive voice” when what they were talking about was the use of the verb “to be.” In which case, I would always respond with “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” or “To be, or not to be, that is the question,” because I am a smart ass. I will get back to the verb To Be. 

In English, passive voice means you shift the focus of a sentence without changing the subject, object or action. “I ate the cookies” is active voice. “The cookies were eaten by me” is passive voice. The argument against passive voice is that it’s weak, indirect and wordier, and those are definitely things to consider. In some languages, however, such shifts are not considered weak at all, and in fact, their syntax is such that these kinds of shifts for emphasis are easy and common. They aren’t demonized, but considered part of the language’s genetic code. 

In journalism, we had a constant fight over this because many a police blotter story started with “A Florida man was arrested yesterday for assaulting bystanders with a fish hanging out of his mouth.” Properly stated, according to the Ban on Passive Voice, every police blotter item would have to start with “Police arrested a Florida Man …” unless you had nice editors who liked funny lead paragraphs. 

Originally posted by gifnews

So, in journalism or in any other kind of writing, passive voice can be useful. At the very least, it will go unnoticed due to the subject matter at hand. No one is going to be bothered by “man was arrested” when they can get quickly to quality content like someone badgering innocent people with mouth-borne fish. 

To Be is much more problematic. It is considered weaker than a strong , direct verb. The same could be said of the other copular verbs. “Florida man was combative during his arrest” might be shorter, but in the interest of providing details, using strong verbs in the active voice can be more engaging and entertaining. “Florida man continued to beat officers with the fish even after he was handcuffed. He is also being charged with resisting arrest.” 

There are plenty of so-called “rules of writing,” many of which can be broken. Because it’s not the rule that’s so vital, it’s the principle behind it: Never let your words get in the way of your meaning. A well-placed, well-considered adverb is not a bad thing. 

More on passive vs. active can be found here. Retro layout warning. 

An excellent article on aggressive writing

More on copular/linking verbs here

The tl;dr (before I get too distracted by Florida Man memes): Use passive voice, or to be and the copular verbs, sparingly and for effect. Consider the flow of your narrative or dialogue. Be aggressive. 

– mod Aliya

anonymous asked:

I'm trying to find an apartment in the city for the first time. How do I know where I can go without dying?

I touched on this somewhere in my apartment hunting series (link), but you can look up crime reports and registered sex offenders and avoid areas with the highest concentration of problems. One place to do this (but not the only) is I’d also suggest pulling up newspapers local to where you want to live and reading the police blotter.


So… this is what remains of our car. Which is to say we got ridiculously lucky. I don’t have any pictures of the other driver’s vehicle. Though according to the police blotter, the other driver was arrested for DUI on the scene. Which is information we already had, but now we have official confirmation.

Our apologies for being out of contact for a week. We’ve spent most of it dealing with insurance, and trying to secure a replacement vehicle. Insurance finally, officially, totaled the car on Friday.

Barring events beyond our control, regular posting should resume on Wednesday.