the poem is stupid ignore that

She was broken. Not because of the stupid boy who used her for her body and broke her heart when it wasn’t good enough anymore. Not because of the professor who said she’d never amount to anything when she stood up in front of the class and shared a piece of her heart in the form of a poem. Not because of the friends who abandoned her when she needed them the most because they were too busy to see that she didn’t want to ignore their calls but the depression wouldn’t let her answer. No, not because of them but because of life. She was broken because day after day she gave it her all until finally she got tired of losing, got tired of being beat down. She got beat down so much that eventually she learned it was easier just to stay there. She was broken because she always thought that life was her friend and if she treated it right, it would treat her right back but she didn’t believe that anymore. Life hit her until she went from cracked to broken and now she’ll never be whole again.

I can not believe it took one person to destroy me

One person to discard all of my trust for anyone

One person to make me forget who my real friends were

One person to banish me to the deepest parts of my mind

One person to trick me into thinking that I should never say anything

One person to make me think that I’m not worthy of anything

One person to be so ignorant as to make me think it was all my fault

—  existential-words
Don’t say that

✖ Characters/relationships: Charles Xavier x Reader

✖ Genres: Angst, fluff

✖ Summary: Reader and Charles goes a way back and while they do have feelings for each other neither of them actually talked about it. One day Charles decides that Reader is exhausting herself with her teacher job at his School and talks to her about. @luckybucky

✖ Disclaimer: All characters are at least 21 y/o unless stated otherwise.

✖ Word count: 2413

Keep reading


I’ve made my bed
I have tried to dig myself out of this imaginary hole
but where should I go then?
The road ahead was unfamiliar,
why must I stay when there was nothing here at all
but the sound of your echo in a broken record?
This winding path of abyss has welcomed me
its arms stretching miles and miles of Golgotha
Why did I carry a cross? I did not belong in that realm!
I stared at Eros and he shamed me!
I have gotten myself here, the brutal thickness of the mind.
Now, where was this portrayal of a goddess I had been following?
The shapeshifting nymph? the siren with her slacken melody?
My logic had left me with lunacy, I’ve chased a plastic bag 
that was floating in the air, the unreachable substance that desiderated the astir
Oh, how human/naive of me, yes! – 
but stupidity and ignorance was something else.

D C de Oliveira
/& Persephone shared her pomegranate

I just thought about it, but…what if Hades would be offended that the planet named after him isn’t a planet anymore?

I mean, there is Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury and then there is little Pluto, which isn’t considered a planet anymore.

And let’s say that the gods find out about this from Athena or one of her kids.

Just imagine how much teasing would ensue.

The other gods (especially Zeus) would bring this up forever, just to annoy Hades.

Every single Winter solstice meeting “ Hey is that Pluto I see? But it can’t be…Pluto is too little to be a planet.”

Cut to Hades fuming,

Demeter laughing at his face and complaining about his marriage with Persephone,

Athena sighing in annoyance since she is so done with this s*it,

Apollo trying to “apologize” to Hades with a poem,

Artemis facepalming at her brother’s stupidity,

Hermes making bets on how long Zeus will keep up the joke,

Poseidon trying to stop his brothers from starting WW 3,

Hera lecturing everyone in vain to act like a family and then arguing with Ares about it,

Dyonisus falling asleep,

Hephaestos ignoring everybody

And Aphrodite saying how beautifull her planet looks.

(Sorry that this is shit, but it just came to me)

Promise Me: Part 4 (Anthony Ramos x Reader)

Hey everyone! So sorry to everyone who’s been waiting for an update to this!! I know I’ve taken too long to finish this and I am so sorry! I really hope you guys aren’t too mad at me, but I really hope you enjoy this guys <3

Pairing: Anthony Ramos x Reader, Platonic Phillipa Soo x Reader

Word Count: 5394 (the word most said was Anthony lol)

Warnings: Lots of cursing, a smidge of sex talk, embarrassing moments for reader lol

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7


The music was loud when you and Phillipa stepped into the venue where the party was being held.

“Let’s go look for Lin.” Phillipa shouted to you over the noise.

You nodded your head and followed her as she walked around looking for her cast mate. You watched as she greeted almost every person she walked past, and you occasionally said a hello to some people too. Phillipa stopped in front of one group of people. Lin stood in the middle of them, with his arm around his wife.

“Lin! Vanessa!” Phillipa shouted as she opened her arms out to Lin’s wife. She hugged Lin after, and then turned to you.

“This is my sister, Y/N.” Phillipa said.

Lin reached out a hand for you to shake, which you took (all while trying not to freak out, since you were meeting Lin-Manuel Miranda, one of your inspirations). Vanessa opened her arms out to give you a hug.

Phillipa began introducing the other people in the circle.

“This is Daveed, Oak, Anthony, Renee, Jasmine.”

Each person gave you a big smile and shook your hand. When you got to Anthony, the both of you looked at each other then awkwardly grabbed the other’s hand, shaking for a little too long. With an awkward chuckle, the both of you let go.

Everyone each gave you and Anthony a look at how weird the both of you had acted. Phillipa didn’t seem like she noticed anything. Lin and Vanessa both excused themselves, and walked around the venue.

“Where’s Leslie?”

“He’s with Nikki, over by the bar.” Daveed answered.

“Well, aren’t these the Schuyler sisters?” A man asked from behind you and Phillipa.

Renee, Phillipa and Jasmine all turned towards the man and answered with a yes.

“I’m a little bored of the music here; maybe we can get a wonderful song sung by these sisters?” The man said, holding a microphone up to them and pointing towards the stage.

Each girl laughed.

“We’d love to.” Renee answered.

The man began walking towards the stage to set them up and Phillipa turned to you.

“Stay with the guys, don’t get lost. Boys, watch out for her.” She pointed a finger to them then ran off to follow the other women.  

You turned to the guys and smiled.

“So you’re the girl Anthony’s always talking about?” Daveed asked.

Your smile faltered. “Uh…”

“Diggs, what the hell?” Anthony said, hitting him on the arm.

“I’m just asking a question.” Daveed said, raising his arms up as if to say I’m not sorry.

You smirked. “Always talking about me, huh?”

“Naw, I don’t talk about you, Daveed’s just always grabbing my phone and looking through my text messages and shit.” Anthony rambled nervously.

Oak laughed loudly and said, “Yeah, sure, we grab you phone and look through it, not you show us your texts.”

Anthony hit Oak on the arm too and looked at him angrily.

Both Daveed and Oak just laughed.

“All he ever does is show us your guy’s texts and ask if what you’re saying is flirty.” Daveed said.

You start laughing as Oak continues. “He’s constantly asking us what he should text back to you.”

“Oh,” Daveed interrupted. “And that one time he sent you a picture of his outfit, we were there, and we watched him take picture after picture, then ask us afterwards which one was the best one. I swear we looked through 100 photos.”

You were bent over as you laughed. “Oh that’s great.” You said.

You turned to look at Anthony and saw his face was completely red. You laid your arm on his shoulder. “Aw, its fine, baby.” You cooed, pinching his cheek.

He swatted your hand away but smiled. “I swear to you, none of that happened.”

“Yeah, I definitely believe you.” You said sarcastically.

“Moving on from Anthony’s embarrassing crush on you, how come we haven’t met you earlier? Phillipa’s been telling us all about her wonderful little sister, but we never had a face to match the description.” Oak asked.

“Oh, I spent a year backpacking through Europe after high school. I only got to the States a couple months ago, and spent most of that time with my parents before coming here.”

“Really? How was it?” Daveed asked.

“It was great. A lot of fun.”

“What was your favorite place?” Anthony asked, looking down at you where you were standing next to him.

You thought about if for a second. “Probably Italy or France. They had the best parties to go to there.”

“Ah, a party girl. A woman after my own heart.” Daveed said. Oak laughed and Anthony stayed silent. He was giving Daveed a warning look. Daveed only smirked, already planning on how to flirt with you and further antagonize Anthony.

“Ha, yeah. But it was really fun, even when I wasn’t partying. The food was phenomenal and the weather was beautiful everywhere I went. I’d recommend it if you guys weren’t so busy working.”

“Yup, that Broadway schedule’s crazy sometimes.” Daveed said. Oak and Anthony mumble agreements.

“You never wanted to get into theater or any entertainment?” Oak asked.

“Not really. I don’t like to do the performing thing. Being up on stage is scary.” You answered.

“She likes writing.” Anthony said. You turned to give him a dirty look. “What?” he asked. “You do.”

“What do you write?” Daveed asked.

“I don’t really wri-” You started before Anthony interrupted.

“She likes writing poems, songs, but she’s been writing a musical recently.”


“Its actually pretty good.” Anthony said as he continued to ignore your protests.

“Oh that’s so cool! What’s it about?” Oak asked.

“It’s about nothing and if Anthony says another word, I’ll kick his ass.”

“I’ll take it. Its about a small town girl who moves to New York looking for her mom.” Anthony said. You stomped on his foot and he shouted out in pain.

“Sounds cute.” Daveed said.

“It’s stupid I know, it’s a work in progress.” You stuttered.

“No, no. It’s not stupid. It’s good that you’re writing something. And if you need any help, I’m pretty sure Lin would be more than happy to help you.” Oak said.

“She’d like that; she’s, like, seriously in love with Lin.” And with that, you hit Anthony behind his head, making an audible thump.

“Jesus, what the fuck?” he shouted.

“You idiot, why would you say that?” You said, your face red with embarrassment.

“Its true,” he mumbled, rubbing his head.

Oak and Daveed both giggled at the exchange between you and Anthony.

“Y’all two are adorable.” Daveed said. “But yeah, Lin could help out, and if you need help with the music, I’d be happy to help too.”

“Oh that’d be awesome.” You said.

“She probably has a crush on you too.” Anthony mumbled. You stomped on his foot again.

“Don’t be annoying.” You warned. Anthony just smiles. You noticed Daveed and Oak are just giggling to themselves.

“How’d you react when you found out Pippa was going to be in Hamilton?” Oak asked when his laughter died down.

“I cried.” You said. “Mostly because I just got to Europe and I didn’t have any money to fly back to the States.”

“You want to go meet someone?” Daveed suddenly asked. He smiled at you.

“Uh, yeah sure I guess?” You said, glancing at Anthony. He only shrugged.

Daveed grabbed your arm and begun  to drag you away. You quickly turned to Anthony and reached out for him to grab your hand. He looked surprised for a second but his surprise turned into a smile and he gripped onto your hand. Daveed navigated the three of you across the venue. Daveed continuously looked around, as if he were looking for someone.

“Aha.” He said when he’d found who he was looking for. He tapped on a man’s shoulder and you gasped when you saw who it was.

Chris Jackson stood in front of you, smiling as he greeted Daveed and Anthony. You’d yet to meet Chris Jackson yet, despite the fact that you’d visited the Richard Rogers theater twice already.

“Chris, this is Y/N. She’s a big fan of In the Heights.” Anthony said. You gripped onto his hand harder and reached your other one to shake Chris’s hand.

“Hi, its so great to meet you. Benny is my favorite character in the show so its such an honor to meet you.” You stammer.

Chris smiles. “We’ve heard a lot about you, you know? Phillipa just wouldn’t bring you around.”

You chuckled nervously. “Ah, yeah. I’ve been getting that a lot.”

Chris nods his head. “Did you ever get to see the show live?” He asked.

You shook your head. “Nope. I was pretty young, so I didn’t get into In the Heights until it was too late.”

“Oh that sucks. Well maybe one day some of the cast can get together and perform something for you.”

You nodded your head enthusiastically. “That’d be so great.”

Chris smiled again, before he looks at something behind you. “Well, it looks like my beautiful wife is calling me for something. It was nice finally meeting you Y/N. See you both later.” He said, before walking away, giving Anthony a friendly pat on the shoulder before walking away.

You turned to Anthony. “You stayed.” You said.

Anthony’s brows furrowed. “Of course I did. Why would I leave?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. Daveed did.”

A look passes Anthony’s face before he smiles again. The look passes by so quickly, you can’t help but think you made it up. “I’m not Daveed.” he mumbled.

“Yup.” You said, smiling at him. “Wanna go get me some alcohol?”

“Sorry, you’re too young.” He said, shrugging a shoulder.

“Don’t be a prude. Get me-”

“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Phillipa said, walking up to you and Anthony. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.” You and Anthony answered at the same time. She looks between the two of you before dropping it.

“I want to finally introduce you to the girls.” She said. You nodded your head.

“Uh, yeah. Let’s go do that.”

Phillipa smiled before walking away, expecting you to follow.

You turned to Anthony. “Get me that alcohol now.”

“Jaz and Renee aren’t that bad.”

“I don’t doubt they’re not sweet. I would just prefer to stick with not having to keep up conversation with strangers.”

“You’ve been speaking with strangers all day.”

“Only Daveed, Oak and Chris. Three is my stranger quota. I don’t go over.”

“Well, you kinda have too.” Anthony laughed. “You’ll be fine. Those girls can ramble on and on about anything. You won’t have to do much talking.”

You nodded your head and hurried to meet up with Phillipa before she asks too many questions about why you’re suddenly buddy-buddy with Anthony.

Renee and Jasmine were sweet, just as Anthony said, but you still wished you were talking to Anthony, Daveed and Oak again.

Or maybe just Anthony. You could talk to Anthony for days without getting tired of him.

Renee and Jasmine are suddenly dragged away from yours and Phillipa’s conversation with them.

“I’m going to go get a drink. Want to come?” she asked.

You shook your head. “I think I kinda want to go look for Daveed, Oak and Anthony.”

Phillipa nodded her head. “Remember what I said about Anthony. I don’t want you getting hurt okay?”

“Yes, mom. I remember.”

Phillipa laughed at you and walked over to the bar. You found Anthony, Daveed and Oak not too far away from where Phillipa walked to. You walked up to them.


Daveed smiled at you. “Welcome back.”

Oak gave you a smile too. “We were just talking about what we wanted to do tomorrow. Wanna join?”

You looked to the other two men. “Yeah sure. If everyone else is cool with it.”

Anthony and Daveed nod as if they can’t believe you would ever say something like that.

“You’re always invited, Y/N.” Anthony said, giving a light punch to your shoulder.

Daveed takes out his phone. “Give me your number.”

“Excuse me?” Anthony sputtered out.

Daveed smirked before saying, “I was just going to add her to the group chat, man.”


You gave Daveed your number. He typed on his phone before your phone dings with a message.

You saw you were added to a chat named “BOYS WITH BIG CATS”

You giggled. “Boys with big cats?”

Daveed grinned. “Well it was originally something a lot more inappropriate, but when Renee saw it she almost slapped me in the face so I had to change it.”

You shook your head. “Well, I think you need to change it again if I’m in it now.”

“Oh no. You being added right now is your audition. You need to prove you’re entertaining enough to stay in the chat. If you’re not, we give you the boot.” Oak said.

“Am I seriously being discriminated against? Because I’m younger? Because I’m a woman?” You asked, faking your exasperation.

“Oh shut up, Y/N.” Anthony laughed. Everyone laughed along too.

The rest of the night was fun. You and the boys got a lot closer that night. The minute you and Phillipa announced that you were leaving to go back home, the boys started to spam the group chat with messages. Daveed would write things letter by letter, then would start over if Anthony or Oak interrupted the flow. Anthony sent in different lyrics of the song that was playing at the party. Oak just kept sending emojis that were related to whatever song Anthony was sending.

On the cab ride home, you giggled at the messages.

“What are you giggling at?” Phillipa asked with a smile.

“Daveed added me to some group chat with him, Ant and Oak, and they keep spamming it with stupid messages.”

Phillipa laughed and you showed her the messages until you reached home.

When you were ready to go to bed, you had to silence your phone because the boys kept sending too many messages.

“Ok im gonna go cause you guys keep sending too many damn messages.” you texted.

No don’t go!!” Anthony said.

Yeah your audition isnt over yet” Oak sent.

“Tbh dont care. You guys are sending too many messages lol”

Naw, youre just too lame to stay up with us cool kids” Anthony said.

“Good night”

“We decided at the party that we’re hanging out tomorrow at a diner that Oak found the other day, wanna come?” Daveed asked.

“Yeah sure, sounds cool”

We’re meeting up at noon” Oak said.

Daveed sent the address. “Dont be late, if you are, youre not our friend anymore

“Yeah yeah yeah, see you there. Good night”

The boys all texted good night and you tucked your phone under your pillow, a bad habit that made your phone overheat, but you still did it anyway.

The next morning, you woke up at 11. Phillipa was already awake.

“Morning. Glad you finally decided to join the living.”

“Phil, we got home at like 1 in the morning. I needed to sleep in or else I wouldn’t get a good night’s rest.”

Phillipa rolled her eyes. “I woke up early and I feel fine.”

“Yeah but you’re old. Old people like waking up early.”

“Shut up. I’m not old.” Phillipa laughed, throwing a pillow at your head.

You dodged it and stood up from the bed.

“I’m going out with Daveed, Anthony and Oak in about an hour.” You called to Phillipa as you walked to the bathroom to brush your teeth and take a shower.

“Alright cool. Where are you guys going?”

“Some diner.”

“What’s the address of this diner?”

“I don’t know. It’s in my phone somewhere.”

“Okay, when you get out I want it.”

“Sure mom.” You chuckled. You grabbed your toothbrush, put toothpaste on and began brushing.

A moment of silence passed. “How long are you going to be out?”

“I don’t know.” You said while you brushed the back of your teeth.

“They didn’t say how long you guys would be out? I’m gonna call them and ask.” she said. Through the doorway, you could see Phillipa grabbing her phone and unlocking it.

You spit the toothpaste out of your mouth. “Phill, I lived in Europe for an entire year. I’m pretty sure I can navigate through New York on my own, and especially with the boys, who would protect me.”

“That’s not the point, I want to make sure you’re safe. And Daveed and Oak are much older so they might go too fast for you. Maybe you shouldn’t go out with them. They’re way too old.”

“Phillipa, I’ll be fine. I promise. If anything happens, I’ll call you.” You said.

“Maybe I’ll go out with you guys, at least for an hour to make sure you-”

“Phillipa. I will be fine. We most likely won’t even make it out of the diner. We’ll be there, for god knows how long, and we won’t move. If it makes you feel any better, if they suggest going out to someplace else afterwards, I’ll tell them no and just come back home. Sound good?”

Still looking unconvinced, Phillipa nodded her head. “But I’ll walk you there, since it’s on the way to the little shopping plaza. And I will walk you back home, okay?”

You rolled your eyes, an action that, thankfully, didn’t catch Phillipa’s eyes. “Fine.”

When you guys finally left, Phillipa walked you to the diner. It was a 15 minute walk, and you got there only 5 minutes late.

When you opened the door to walk in, you noticed Phillipa was trying to follow you in.

“I’m good now Phil.” You said.

“I’m just gonna say hi to the boys.”

“As long as it’s that, and you’re not going to lecture them.”

“Yeah, I swear it’s that.”

Except it wasn’t that.

“You boys better not buy her any alcohol. You better make sure she’s safe, and she is not allowed to leave this diner, understand? You will stay here until I come, just to make sure she makes it home with me, and only me.” Phillipa said, waving a finger at Ant and Oak, since Daveed hadn’t arrived yet.

“Yes, sir.” Anthony said. Phillipa rolled her eyes, and walked away after saying goodbye.

“Jesus Christ.” You mumbled under your breath, as you sat down in the booth next to Anthony. “She’s a monster.”

“She’s just looking out for you.” Oak said, giving you a pat on the shoulder. “Be happy you have someone like that.”

“No, yeah. That’s fine. But she’s crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a tracker in my phone.” You said, staring suspiciously at your phone.

“You wanna order something to drink?” Oak asked, beginning to wave down a waiter.

“Yeah, can I just get some Coke, please?” You said to the waiter. He nodded then walked away to get your drink. He came back with your soda and Anthony and Oak’s refill.

“Where’s Daveed?” You asked.

“Had some last minute clipping. things to handle. He’s coming in a couple minutes.” Anthony said.

Ten minutes later, Daveed walked in. By that time, you, Ant and Oak were already having a conversation.

“Hey guys.” Daveed said to the boys. To you, he gave you a cheek kiss and sat down next to you.

Anthony gave a dirty look to Daveed, though you didn’t see it. When Daveed looked over and saw Anthony, he smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

“What?” Daveed mouthed.

Anthony only shook his head in response, and focused his attention back to the conversation.

“So did you bring your musical over Y/N?” Daveed asked, putting an arm around the back of your chair.

“I, uh, no. Why would I bring it?”

“We want to read it.” Oak said.

“Just talk to Ant, and he’ll tell you how shitty it is.” You said, pointing over at the him.

“Shitty? That thing is fucking brilliant.” Anthony said, sitting up taller in his chair, getting ready to praise your writing. “She’s only halfway done with it, but I can already tell it’s going to be a smash. The storyline is so good, and compelling, the way she writes about the girl being angry with her mom for leaving her but desperate to still know her anyway. And the music she has written for it is crazy good. The lyrics are mesmerizing and there are some raps in it too, good raps at that. And her voice is just… ” Anthony trailed off when he noticed you staring at him with you mouth wide open. “Yeah, no. The musical is okay I guess, yeah.”

“Ant…” You said, unsure of what to say.

“Well, now we have to listen to it!” Daveed said. “Just sing us one little line, please?” he asked, intertwining his fingers under his chin and giving you puppy dog eyes.

“Ah, no. I’m good. I don’t like singing in front of people.”

Each one of them nodded their heads, understanding.

“We’ll get a tune out of you one day.” Oak said. “If Ant shook it out of you, we will too.” He said, giving a wink.

You giggled.

The conversation was led into other topics, and it never faltered once.

“Y/N’s told me about some of her embarrassing stories.” Anthony said, after having admitted his own (a sex story, a different one from what you’ve heard before.) “They’re priceless.” Daveed and Oak looked at you expectantly.

“Oh no. Jesus, no.” You said, laughing.

“Come on, we all shared our own, Ant shared one that none of us really needed to hear, but he still did it. Now you need to.” Oak said.

“Ah. Fuck it, fine.” You said. “So I had a crush on this guy one time and my friend gave me his number, and I was really annoyed cause she kept insisting I text him. So I started typing out this really long and intense text, talking about how I’d been in love with him and what I really wanted to do with him and shit as a joke, and I accidentally sent it to him.”

“Oh no.” Daveed said. Suddenly all the boys burst out laughing, and you couldn’t help but join along with them. Even though at the time it was a tragic thing to happen, looking back at it now made you realize how stupidly funny it was.

The waiter came and took you guys’s orders (You and Ant ordered a burger and fries, Oak ordered pasta, and Daveed ordered steak.)

The conversation changed again.

“The professor was just a massive asshole. He’d announce a test like only two days before, and then give you a study guide that had nothing to do with what were were learning. The tests were like 10 questions each, so you couldn’t get more than 2 wrong because he didn’t consider a 70% a passing score. It was hell. College was horrible.” Oak said. He then looked at you. “That’s not to say not to go to college, definitely go to college. Education is important.” He finished.

You rolled your eyes. “Not going to college is in no way an option. Phillipa and my family would kill me. Well, mostly Phillipa but yeah.”

The waiter came around and gave you all your food. The conversation started up soon after the waiter left.

“No, no. Please explain when this crush started. This is gold.” Daveed laughed when the conversation shifted from when you all first started liking musicals to your crush on Lin.

“Shut up, don’t make fun of me.” You said, giving Daveed a hard punch on his shoulder.

“I’m going to throw you a bone, and give you his number.” Daveed said, taking out his phone and typing stuff into his phone.

A message came through “BOYS WITH BIG CATS”, and you opened your phone to read it.

Daveed had added Lin to the chat and wrote “Here, have fun Y/N.”

“What in the hell was I just added to?” Lin typed.

“Hey, Lin. Y/N is totally in love with you and would love for you to help her with her musical”

“Anthony, what the fuck?” You shouted out loud in horror. You started to push and hit Anthony, making him bump into Oak multiple times.

“What?” He shouted, trying to push you away from him. You sat back and stopped hitting him.

“Why,” you asked calmly. “The fuck. Would you say that?”

“Because I love embarrassing you.” Anthony responded.

“Oh wow. Yeah, no that’s a great excuse. No I completely understand now, thanks.” You said in a monotone voice.

Anthony smiled as wide as he could. “Sorry?”

You didn’t respond, and only took a couple of Anthony’s fries and shoved them into your mouth.

“Hey!” Ant shouted. “Don’t take my food!”

“Then don’t take my dignity!” You mumbled, your mouth too full of fries to speak clearly.

You and Anthony started having a little cat fight, giving light hits to the other’s body. Oak reached over and broke up the fight.

“We are in a public place. Stop fighting.”

You and Anthony sat back in your seats, having a stare off. Anthony quickly moved to your plate and took a big bite of your burger.

“No!” You shouted.

Daveed and Oak both looked around the diner, trying to make sure no one was staring at you all making so much noise.

“A fry is nothing like a burger! I can’t believe you just ate my food!”

“Well, I had to punish you for being bad.”

“There are other ways to punish a bad girl than by taking her meat away.” You said. You grabbed a fry, from you own plate this time, and ate it, unaware of the boys all giving you shocked looks.

When you saw their faces you said, “Get you mind out of the gutter guys. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, Anthony sure thought you meant it like that.” Daveed said. “I think he’s prepared to give you some meat now.” You didn’t hear that last comment.

“Jesus, if I knew hanging out with you guys was going to get dirty, I wouldn’t have come.” You shook your head. “Not come as in come. Come as in like arriving at this diner to hang out with you guys.”

“Yeah, we understood you that time Y/N.” Oak chuckled.

You looked back down at your phone to see that Lin had sent a message to the group chat during your fight with Ant.

“Oh hey Y/N! :) I would love to help you with your musical. I didn’t know you were writing one! Im busy today and tomorrow, but after that you can call me whenever you have time and I’ll help you with whatever you need :D”

You were giddy to learn that Lin was an emoji type of guy. You were actually texting Lin-Manuel Miranda, a man you’d been obsessed with for almost five years, about your musical. Life was too good.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks Lin!!” You texted. You looked back up at your phone to see the boys staring at you.

“See, that wasn’t so bad right?” Daveed asked.

“Shut up,” you laughed.

You and the boys spent another hour at the diner before Oak said he had to leave to meet his girlfriend before their date.

After that, Daveed left too. You and Anthony were the only ones left in the diner. You texted Phillipa to tell her that you were ready to go home.

Anthony yawned. “Jesus, I’m so tired.”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure being annoying can be very tiring.”

“Yeah it really is, but I’m pretty sure you understand.”

You nodded your head. “Oh, yeah I sure do.”

Anthony shook his head and laughed. “Today was fun.”

“Yeah, it really was. It’s nice to just sit down and chill.”

“Pippa say when she was coming?” Anthony asked.

“She’ll be here in like 30 minutes. She found some old friends and they went out to a bar, which is kinda far from here.”

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

Anthony laughed. “No, never.”

“I’ll just text Philli and tell her you’re walking me.”

You texted Phillipa and she responded quickly. “Just Anthony? No Daveed or Oak?” she texted.

“Yes, Phillipa. Just Anthony. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

She agreed and you closed your phone.

“Let’s go.” You said, nodding your head towards the door. Daveed and Oak had already paid their part of the bill, and Anthony insisted on paying yours.

“Anthony, I have money.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m still paying for you.”

“Ant, let me pay you back.” You said as he stood up and already started heading for the door.

“No, don’t worry about it. It was literally just 20 bucks.”

“20 bucks that could go towards your very large and impressive comic book collection.”

“Don’t make fun of my comic book collection. I could very easily make fun of your collection of Smurf figurines.”

“I wasn’t making fun. I was just stating that those 20 dollars could have very well have gotten you a third copy of a Wolverine comic or a sixth copy of Batman Begins.”

“Only one comic is doubled. Stop exaggerating.” Anthony said, giving you a light push.

“I love exaggerating though.”

“I know you do. Its another very annoying thing you do that I love.”

You laughed. A breeze blew through, making you suddenly very cold. Cursing yourself for not bringing a thicker jacket, you hugged yourself.

“You cold?” Anthony asked. Before you could answer, Anthony wrapped his arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his embrace.

You instantly felt warmer and snuggled in closer to him.

“Better?” He asked.

“Much.” You said. You both stayed like that the rest of the way, only letting go when he opened the door to your apartment building.

You started rubbing your hands together when you both got in the elevator.

“Why the fuck is it colder in here then outside?”

“It’s always like this.” You answered. Anthony started rubbing his own hands together.

“You should get that fixed.”

“Yes Anthony. I’ll just fix the entire AC unit in this entire building by myself, with absolutely no knowledge of how to do that.”

“See, there’s a trooper.” Anthony clapped his hands. “I love how ready you are to solve problems.”

“Mhm. Why don’t you fix it then? Don’t you brag about how you’re perfect at everything? Here’s your chance to prove just that.”

“Oh no. I think I want to give you a chance to actually be good at something.”

“Mhm, sure.” You said, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

“Here’s something you could fix. How come the elevator hasn’t moved?”

You were all sharp edges;

twisted and mangled.

She was all soft and gentle;

each curvature of her face coming to meet the next one with ease.

You were rough, torn apart, half-heartedly put back together, guarded.

She was nurtured, loved, protected, outspoken.

You were extreme, gasoline stained boots, matted hair, and a permanent smirk.

She was calm, eyeshadow never out of place, perfect hair, and lip gloss stained kiss.

You were bloody knuckles with flecks of dirt, broken skin, and bleeding lips kissed roughly with hair tugged, needing more.

She was the plaster on a broken bone, a bandage to cover the absence, and not enough to go around.

You were sunrises seen with insomniac eyes, cigarette smoke at midnight, and all too explosive.

She was a good night’s sleep and no circles under your eyes, clean air in a crowded city, safe.

You were afraid to touch her for fear she would break,

She was scared to touch you for fear that she would break you.

You were both ignorant, stupid, foolish, young,


In love.

Now she’s rough edges, husky voice in the morning from nightmares that never end, and a touch that is never as careful as it used to be.

Now you are fine lines, marble with smooth indents which form words, a smiling picture on the wall of a school; in a year book; next to your Mother.

Finally, she has given you what you needed: calm.

Finally, you have driven her to be what she thought she could never be: chaotic.


they call it education
this hell we are forced into
they say we “need to know”

but when have I ever
needed to use
imaginary numbers
in my daily activities?

when did my life require
that I write an essay
longer than the first book
I read on my own

why are children taught
numbers before morals

when will I need to know
what happened in ancient rome
or the outcome
of a battle long past won

why did they teach me
such useless things
and then throw me
out into the world

they didn’t teach me
how to write a resume
or balance a checkbook

they didn’t teach me
how to budget myself
or save money for later

they didn’t teach me
how to deal with stress
or that it’s okay to
ask for help sometimes

they didn’t teach me
to recognize the warning signs
in a friend who’s on the brink
of self-destruction

they didn’t teach me
how to have safe sex
and instead told me
“don’t have sex”

they didn’t teach me
anything practical
but instead filled my head
with useless fluff

they call you smart
if you can memorize
and regurgitate information
that you’ll never use again

they call you stupid
if you can’t keep up
instead of helping you
they ignore you
because you
aren’t worth it
to them.

if school had taught me
what a healthy relationship is
or how to leave an abusive one

if school had taught me
that though I may be young
my opinion is not irrelevant

if school had taught me
the truth about the way
the world works

perhaps I would have
a few less cracks in my paint
a few smaller breaks in my heart

perhaps I would have
learnt that my happiness
and mental health

is more important
than this thing called

How to get revenge on...

Warning: don’t actually do these unless you want to die

Aries: Either get in a position of authority, or get close to someone in a position of authority and let Aries know you can control them any time you want. Inform their boss/teacher/parent whenever they do something wrong. Hire them if you can. Put restrictions on them in some way.

Taurus: Talk to everyone around them but them, be SUPER charming as if you’re having SO much fun, make friends with all their best friends, exclude them in their own ‘comfortable’ friendship group, make them question their friends’ loyalties. Disrupt whatever comfortable thing they have going on.

Gemini: Take away attention from them, distract all their friends. They’re throwing a birthday party? Throw a better one on the exact date they’re doing it and invite all their friends. Make it irresistible not to attend. Whenever they’re speaking tell them to shut up because they’re boring. 

Cancer: Let them pour out their heart to you and then gossip about them/tell everyone their insecurities/use is against them. Purposefully ignore their birthday and when they’re mad, text them something like ‘sorry’ to get their hopes up and when they reply, don’t text them back for like 2 weeks.

Leo: Embarrass them in front of their friends and family, constantly make them seem stupid by being sarcastic about whatever they say. Talk over them a lot and make them feel unimportant & unheard. Write a mean book/songs/poems about them and get successful off them.

Virgo: Belittle everything they say and disagree with every opinion they have & refuse to listen. If they invite you over just mess up everything in their house and accidentally break a few items…

Libra: Take out your anger on them, be selfish and unfair and always take and never give back. If they vent to you about someone, pretend to be understanding and then go tell the person exactly what Libra said about them and bring drama and unbalance into their life. 

Scorpio: Post their contact information and embarrassing information they shared with you in public places, fb, threads or even posters to hang up. They’ll have a good time fielding calls from weirdos who know a lot about them.

Sagittarius: Talk excitedly about a new project you both should do together, or some place you should both travel to, offer to pay and everything- make sure they cannot do it without you- then cut off all contact.

Capricorn: Make plans and don’t show up and don’t reply to their ‘where are you?’ texts. Ask to borrow money and never pay it back and claim you already did. If they’re applying for a job/internship, apply for the same thing just so they have less chance of getting it.

Aquarius: Start copying them- share what they share on fb (but from a different source), wear what they wear, steal exact phrases they use, instagram the same things they do and get more likes, copy every ‘unique’ thing they do but get more appreciation for it.

Pisces: Steal/flirt with their partner. They’re most probably in a relationship (Pisces can’t stand being alone) or they’re crushing very obviously on someone. Make them feel insecure, jealous & unworthy.

Listen, heart, be wise, please, let me help you, you’ve already suffered a lot, it’s time to get better.

But, let’s be honest, not your mom, not your best friend, not even the best advice that you’ve ever received will help you feel better if your heart is broken. I mean, it’s like “this is your heart, so only you have to fix it”, it’s like “nobody can help you, only you can help yourself”, it’s like “cry, cry and cry, do stupid things, but don’t forget to get better”, it’s like they throw you in the dirt and you can’t wash it off because you fell inlove with it.

I guess you can only actually help someone who wants to be helped. Maybe that’s why I can’t be helped, maybe my heart doesn’t want to be healed. Maybe she needs time, but I gave her everything she needed. I can’t understand what she wants, I did everything she wanted, I did stupid, foolish things for her to be happy and what did I get? Nothing good.

Listen, heart, I’m gonna ignore you this time, because you’re so silly. Starting from now, I control you. Starting from now, I am your boss, you will give me what I need and will do what I want. 

— 🌙

my heart is stupid.

1.) Hug your parents. Or whoever it is that makes sure you’re safe everyday. Tell them you love them. One day they won’t be here, and it will feel like you can’t breathe. You will spend hours thinking of things you wish you had said. Don’t let that happen. Tell them you love them. 

2.) You’re going to lose friends. Over petty stuff, and over serious stuff. And thats okay because you’re going to make new friends too. Eliminate the toxic people in your life. You owe yourself that much. 

3.) If they tell you they love you, take caution. Please for the love of God make sure their actions back up their words. If they make you cry more than they make you laugh, leave. If they lay a hand on you, leave. If you’re questioning it at all, leave. 

4.) If its great and you love them back? Treasure it. Savor every single mushy text message. Write poems about their eyes. Don’t think about tomorrow, focus on today. Take pictures. Be the couple everyone envies. 

5.) When things become hard, like “I can’t get out of bed” hard, DO NOT IGNORE THAT, that isn’t how things should be. If you ever start thinking about harming your beautiful body I want you to talk to someone. It will be difficult but it could be the difference between life and death. You won’t sound stupid or dramatic. 

6.) Bring your camera everywhere. Take pictures everyday. When you look back on them, it will be one of the best feelings in the world. It’s true what they say about re-living a moment. Just take my word for it.

7.) You’re going to roll your eyes at this one – do your homework. Study. Do as well as you can. Get your diploma and get out of that town that makes you miserable. There is so much more to this life than your bedroom walls. If school becomes too much, reach out. But don’t forget school is a great ticket out of this place. 

8.) Don’t let others tell you what is and what isn’t cool. You will regret this for the rest of your life if you do. 

9.) If you are unsure of who you are, that’s okay. I’m 18 and I still am figuring myself out. Who you are is beautiful. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise doesn’t deserve to be in your life. 

10.) If you’re alone and shaking because it hurts too much, if you’re collapsed on the floor because you’re tired of waking up, go get help. It’s not okay to want to end your life. Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive.

11.) Don’t drink and drive, simple. 

12.) BE LOUD. Voice your opinion. Be heard. Help those who are unable to be loud, and make sure your opinion doesn’t disrespect anyone elses existence. People are going to try and quite you down, because they would rather ignore the problems in the world. This is when you need to be the loudest. 

13.) Wear the red lipstick. 

14.) Take a day out of your busy schedule and go to a playground. It’s good to honor our youth. Who cares if you look silly? These are the days that will mean the most. 

15.) Family is very important in our lives but sadly even they can be unhealthy. Get out of there. Put yourself first. Don’t let your family drag you down with them. You can love them without being caught up in their mess. This won’t make you a bad daughter, son, or person.

 16.) Find a band that makes you feel at ease, that you can listen to when you’re not sure about anything. This band will have value the rest of your life. 

17.) Your shorts weren’t too short. Your shirt wasn’t too low. This wasn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault. 

18.) Climb mountains. Swim in rivers, and oceans. Worship nature, remember where we came from. 

19.) Make sure you tell your friends you love them often. Chances are they need to hear it. 

20.) Will it always be easy? No. But guess what? It’s going to be worth it.

—  things I wish I had been told growing up. 

anonymous asked:

So apparently Orihime was the heroine/love interest of Bleach all along ....Look I don't mind Orihime being the love interest but calling her the heroine isn't that too far?

Orihime is the love interest in the sense that she ended up with Ichigo. That role loosely plays out in about three panels of chapter 686, before Ichigo turns his attention back onto his ‘best bud’ Rukia.

Other than that, love interest or heroine as I have seen it explained is just not applicable without heavy and misguided argument for Orihime and against Rukia being brought up.

If Orihime is the heroine/ the love interest, Rukia got about 12 too many titles handed to her (l-let’s not even get into the moments, both life-changing and subtle between Ichigo and Rukia that make a relationship so divine. It-it just… re-read Bleach and you’ll see. It’s VERY hard to miss. You’d half to be blind or stupid or…well. Ignore color spreads, novels co-authored by Kubo, the Fade to Black that Kubo had uncommon, almost possessive hands-on control with, the interviews, the poems, etc. you’ll just blow up).

Ichigo was literally made (without exaggeration, he was fashioned by Kubo for Rukia, because he felt that the role of hero was not for Ms.Kuchiki alone) to balance and compliment Rukia, Down to their looks, Ichigo and Rukia are drawn with the concepts of Yin and Yang in mind.

(Black) Sun and (White) Moon, or simply Black and White, Death and Strawberry, King and Queen (which by the way was shown on a novel that was co-authorized by Kubo and in which Kubo himself created the title, so King Ichigo and Queen Rukia got the thumbs up for typically romanticized epithets), Sand and Rotator, the Matching Powers, One boy, One Shinigami, et cetera.

There is really no room or true place for Orihime to fit in on one of the roles Rukia plays because the large moments and the simple moments alike were made for Rukia, ya know?

The one that gave Ichigo everything he ever wanted, the one that took away his rain (his depression), the won that healed him first, the one that threw away her life for him, the one that has saved him more than anybody else, the one we are shown to truly understand him, the one he shares the most pages and color spreads with, the two who have been in every movie, the two Kubo-sensei has expressed the most pride in, the love and destiny Ichigo inherited being paralleled with Rukia by his side, the partnership, the silly adventures, the comedy, the living together, the through worlds and worlds bond, the odd intimacy that couldn’t be hidden, etc.

So, yes heroine in a Western sense and heroine in an Eastern sense by what we have always been shown belongs to Rukia except on the instance that hey, “Ichigo and Orihime fucked.” It’s kind of gross putting those two in a saying like that, but that’s genuinely the biggest defense of it all.

Ichigo and Orihime ended up together, they had sex, Kazui was used as proof of that. That small linear cycle is being treated as a reason instead of an outcome of something we all agree was part of a manga that took a route far from satisfaction and author’s intention (I’m not at all singling out IchiHime in all that went wrong here, I’m not even saying it wasn’t the ship Kubo wanted at the end. I’m just saying there is not enough of anything to put Orihime in Rukia’s place, in the same way that Rukia is ill-equipped to be put in Orihime’s place. They were not made with the intention to compete so replacing, deconstructing, or swapping their roles is a disgusting, Olympic-level stretch of disrespect that I will not pretend is hate because IH fans think it is disrespectful for Orihime to not be labeled the heroine in whatever side of globe you take the interpretation).

Do I think Orihime was one of the most interesting characters, whether your interest was a positive or negative fixation? Yes.

Do I think Orihime is a heroine (traditional Western sense)? Yes. With her smarts, powers, morals, will, mentality, beauty, and the simple fact that she is one of the main characters, it becomes hard to dispute that fact.

Do I think Orihime was the heroine? No. Do I think she was the truly intended (obvious or subtle) love interest? Absolutely not.

Do I think this is taking it to far? I think Jump’s attempt to recon and ‘save’ a manga and an author they murdered is tactless and screwing every character out of their integrities and makings of self.

Do I think a third party pervert telling us “hey this is what Kubo really feels” especially when that third party couldn’t give two shits about Kubo save for the ratings he and his company wanted but likely conned the author out of is credible to Kubo? HELL NO.

Do I think a worker for a skeevy company who prefers Orihime because “boobs” is honorable to Kubo’s intentions and thought processes? I think a perv should calm his disrespect and sit his ass down.

Rukia is who Kubo has built up to be heroine. Orihime is so, so very important, but she is not the one who could crumble Rukia’s empire, nor was it the intention or motivation of her creation. Rukia can’t be crumbled, Orihime can’t be twisted into a ploy of destruction.

A pure character who was shown to love and respect Rukia should not be twisted into a cleaver that butchers the establishment of Tite Kubo’s creation.

Love Orihime and Rukia as they are, not as you wish them to be.

(They are ethereal in aesthetic and soul-deep beauty and composition already, what could people possibly have against the way Tite Kubo has made them?).

Empty casings
Filling empty rooms
Thinking that just maybe
They can escape their doom

Knowledge is power
And power is precious
Wisdom is higher
They are only presumptuous

Hollow people all around
Rising from the ground

There’s still one question inside of me
Are they truly that shallow
Or am I just too deep?

—  Ignoramus - by Charlotte A. James

We Merry Few

Some of us weren’t born to fight society
Many were designed to put up our fists in protest
Not all
Lots of us were made to sit and watch
To speak, to listen, to learn
None of us were made to ignore

It’s bliss. I know.
Bliss is stupidity
Why not fight society
With riots and protests
More power to ya
Just don’t put be down for being quiet
Because I am not
My mouth forms different words
To different people

Some were made to carry swords
Some were made to carry pens
Others were made to carry themselves and do the mothering
I was made to polish your swords
And create the pens
And make sure there are children to mother
Who might carry swords, carry pens, or all of the above

Do not shame me because  I am not like you
Because you inspire
It might have been someone like me who lit that fire

1. The first time you said you loved me, it was stuttered through an uneven mouth curled into a smile. And although I couldn’t see your eyes in the lighting I knew you meant it. And so I kissed you as passionately as I could since my lips could not spit out that same sequence of words. But God how they repeat it now like windchimes on stormy days.

2. I remember when my body traced yours within your twisted sheets and it was as if braille was sewn throughout your bones. I’ve read all 206 pages more times than I can count and I memorized each word with the tip of my finger. You are my favorite book and I hope that I can be your sequel.

3. Since the first night I spent wrapped in your arms, I can’t sleep with only one comforter when you aren’t here. The moment you leave my embrace, the ice age that lives on my skin returns.


3 Things You Probably Find Stupid


1D Plus Sized Series // He Denys Dating You- Harry (submission) 

His hair flowing past his broad shoulders. His piercing green eyes that seemed to understand anything I said or knew what I was going to say, before I even said it. His lips, his voice, that sexy devilish smirk that made me go weak in the knees. As I stare at him fondly I couldn’t help but think why I’m so addicted to a person that is so scared of what people think. 

This was our last year of High school, I thought this was the year he’d finally tell everyone about our relationship but instead he insisted that he’d do it soon and on his own terms. I only agreed with him to prevent an argument between us. 

God knows that Harry can be pretty distant from me when we we’re having a disagreement. But now my patience is wearing thin. Especially since prom was coming up and I have not been asked by my boyfriend of three years.

 It made me start questioning everything we ever stood for when it came to our relationship. All the times he muttered the words ‘I love you’ all seemed to just feel like words passing through his beautiful lips. 

I hadn’t noticed I was truly staring until someone from within his group of friends said something along the lines of “That cow has been staring over here for what feels like centuries… Niall make her stop…” I break my gaze when Harry looks at me sympathetically. He never stood up for me when it came to his friends. He only stayed silent or pretended that he ever heard anything at all.

It broke my heart to see the person that vowed to never hurt me, sit back while someone else did it instead. I grabbed my books out of my locker and walked to chemistry. This was the end I thought to myself. I could no longer be his deep dark secret.

 I looked behind me hoping he was telling them off or running after me to apologize but instead he turned his back and went the opposite direction. His arm draped over a tall brunette. Not even a second glance over the shoulder. My heart shattered in my chest once more. Some boyfriend. 


“MOM!! Mom are you home!?!” I yelled out in distress. I was tired of my ‘boyfriend’ treating me this way. I had to vent. My mom and dad both loved Harry alike but their mood would soon change once I told them about how Harry acts in the open. But to my misfortune, she wasn’t at home. 

Before I knew it, I was an emotional wreck. My eyes stung from the tears as I plopped down on my bed. The teddy bear sitting next me grinning wildly seemed to be mocking my sadness. 

How did I ever get to this? Growing up, I was always the chubby kid. I didn’t mind until someone pointed out how my leotard didn’t fit as smoothly as everyone else’s, or how I had to wear a tankini instead of a bikini at pool parties. As my supposed friends started to notice my body differences they were no longer friends but bullies that made my life a living hell. 

Soon I found my niche in a group of friends that have been casted out as outsiders. They were my only friends. That was until I met Harry Styles. The heartthrob at school. He sat next to me in Literature class. While reading Romeo and Juliet, my favorite book, in class he asked if I got any of this stuff, and of course I was more than obliged to help the hottie next to me that didn’t understand the Shakespearean language of love. 

I began to tutor him on the lesson and the next thing you knew, we were making out on my bed in my room while my mom made dinner downstairs. How could I be so damn naive? Of course he wasn’t going to shout how in love he was with the fat girl he met in literature class during a lesson on Romeo and Juliet. 

Of course he wasn’t going to tell his friends that he seemed to have found the one girl that understands the real him. He wasn’t going to speak all of the sweet nothings he whispered in my ear out loud. He wasn’t going to hold my hands in the hallways or even on the fucking street. He was going to keep his life a secret. 

He was going to ignore my pleas of going out instead of staying in or going to a dark lit restaurant or a movie where it’s dark. He wasn’t going to stand up for me when his friends called me cow or chubbster. He wasn’t going to ask me to prom. He wasn’t going to apologize… He wasn’t going to love me like he said he would. 

My sadness is no full blown rage. I grab that bear with the stupid grin, the polaroid picture of us his mother took of us on his birthday last year. His Green Bay Packers jacket that was laying on my desk chair. His hair brush and all of his stupid poems he wrote me filled with empty promises. I put them in a box and texted him quickly. 

Come and get your stuff
My stuff?
Yes Harry, your stuff.
Why? Did I do something wrong? 

I scoffed at his ignorance. How could he not know how I was feeling. We’ve had this conversation before. 

Why can’t you tell them?
I don’t feel comfortable.
Why not? Are you embarrassed of me?
Of course not love. They just wouldn’t understand our love.
What’s not to get? We are happy together. I’m just a normal girl…
I just want you all to myself Y/N.
If you say so Harry. Can you tell them now?
Will you stop nagging me?
And so on and so on and so on. I’m on the way. He messaged me again. 

I no longer wanted to talk to him because I know he’d sweet talk me into a kiss goodbye which turned into a don’t let go kiss. A stay with me kiss. I couldn’t let that happen. He comes through my bedroom door without knocking. 

“This is… Unexpected.” He chuckled to himself. “I’m glad you think this is funny Harry. Way to make me feel even more crappier than I already feel.” I sobbed. “Hey hey babygirl, I’m sorry. What can Daddy do to make you feel better?” He laughed as he slowly walked over me. 

Placing his hands on my hips. I look into his eyes. You can see the lust floating around. I winced. “I’m tired Harry.” I spoke softly, squeezing my eyes shut. “Well let’s go to bed.” He whispered in my ear. His lips ghosting over my sweet spot. I was slowly melting into his touch but my heart and mind was finally working together once. 

I pushed him off. “No Harry. I don’t think we should do this anymore.” I whispered. Almost hoping he didn’t hear me. “What?” He said. Sadness taking a home in his skin. “Do what? Sex? But baby, nobody rides me like you do. No one can take my cock like you do.” 

How could he be so horny when Im trying to pour out my heart? “No damn it! I don’t want to be your secret anymore Harold. Why can’t you say that you’re in love with me?? Why wouldn’t you want to shout it from the rooftops?! How can you not tell people you have a girlfriend? Harry what’s wrong with me!?!” I cried. 

I sat down on the bed. He let’s out a sigh in annoyance. “This again!?! I told you so many times before that I’m not comfortable with it. I want you-” I cut him off and finish his sentence. “I want you all to myself. I know Harry. But when you refuse to tell people about me, and watch your friends make fun of me while you just sit back and let them it makes me feel fat and unwanted. It makes me feel so small. Like I mean nothing to you. You have to understand how I feel. When I constantly tell you how it hurts me and yet you still think about yourself and say how uncomfortable it will make you feel. 

How hard is it to say “I have a girlfriend and I love her. We’ve been together for three years. She’s the girl that you always make fun of. She’s not a cow, her name is Y/N.”? I look up at him. His eyes are closed as if he’s not even listening to me. 

I grabbed the box and pushed it into his chest. “Get out Harry.” I sniffled “So that’s it? We’re just… Going to break up?” He stared at me. “Why keep a secret anymore, now you have nothing to keep…” I stated. “B-but I love you Y/N..” He trailed off looking for something in my eyes. Some sort of weakness but there was none. 

I was truly tired of hurting. The lust in his eyes has now faded and panic started to set in. He quickly put the box down and grabbed my hands only for me to quickly snatched them away. “Don't…” I said crossing my arms. “Please… Y/N. Let me fix it…” He tried to reply. 

“There is nothing to fix Harry.” The look on his face was absolutely sad. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered as he grabbed the box and walked out of my room. This was the end. 

-Anonymous Submitter 

The history of my stupidity would fill many volumes.

Some would be devoted to acting against consciousness,
like the flight of a moth which, had it known,
would have tended nevertheless toward the candle’s flame.

Others would deal with ways to silence anxiety,
the little whisper which, though it is a warning, is ignored.
—  From Account by Czeslaw Milosz