the plot hole

My uncle once won first place in a lying contest, and I feel like this is a rare true story that needs to be told. So here it is.

My family, for as long as I can remember, has had these “adopted uncles” who are my mom and dad’s friends from college/highschool. There’s like five of them, and none of them are related to us. They are awesome, fun guys, and I’m best friends with their daughters (of the ones that have kids). I love hanging out with them, and when I do, I hear lots of hilarious stories that they and my Dad love to recollect whenever they’re together.

My uncles are interesting guys, and there are a lot of interesting stories. One of them is part of a well known band, one of them hung out with Taylor Swift on several occasions, and one worked on the Power Rangers. It’s all very interesting. But I think one of the funniest stories they’ve told me, far from meeting celebrities, or getting lost in the woods, or luring bears into their campsite (yep, they did that) is how one of them (let’s call him S) won a lying contest. This is how it went:

S and my dad, and some of his friends decided to go up into the mountains for a day. They drove up the winding roads, pine trees flashing past their windows, singing to Tom Petty the whole way. My dad and S have a great sense of humor, and I’m sure they were both in a laughable mood.

When they got to their destination, they saw a large banner over the road that read “Annual Lying Contest.” I kid you not. This little town in the piney mountains was so devoid of excitement that they legiterally hosted a Lying Contest every year.

My dad and S thought this was the FUNNIEST thing they had ever seen. They HAD to go watch the contest take place. They pulled into the parking lot, found their way to the stage, and asked someone about what was happening.

Apparently, the lying contest is an annual contest put on by the city, to see who had the most believable lie. Contestants would spend months coming up with elaborate lies, that were sure to convince people in the crowd. At the end, the judges would rank the lies on most convincing to least convincing. The winner of the contest recieved a home baked pie, and some other prize. Some of these lies could take fifteen minutes or more (remember this).

So anyways, S and my dad found a seat, and were ready to hear some lies. Later, my dad told me that it was hilarious to watch. There were lies about Bigfoot sightings, about bear wrestlings, army experiences, ghost hauntings, and more. My dad and S were cracking up the whole time, while marveling at how unique the demographic of the town was to enjoy something like this.

Finally, the last contestant stepped down from the stage after a 20 minute elaborate lie about an alien abduction. The judges took a sweeping look over the crowd, and spoke loudly into the microphone; “are there any other contestants?”

Before my dad could stop him, S stood up and raised his hand.

“Well, come up sir!” 

S climbed the steps to the stage. He looked over the crowd seriously, and desperately tried to come up with a lie in time. His mind was blank. Empty. But S had no shame, and I’ve known him long enough to know this was 100% something he would do. The man throws himself into every awkward situation ever.

He took a step towards the microphone. His hands were clasped in front of him. He looked around at the people watching, the trees surrounding them, and said in his most serious voice into the mic;

“I was born a fish.”

That was it. The audience lost it. There was no build up, no elaborate detail, no story behind the lie. Just 1 ½ seconds, and he had told his entire lie. It was hilariously short, and there was no plot holes, or inconsistencies. Just purely, seriously, “I was born a fish.”

S left the stage in the midst of roaring laughter, as the audience, judges, and my dad tried to contain themselves. It was one of his proudest moments, that one second lie.

And guess what? He won first place.

First. Place.

A true inspiration, imo.

i forgot to mention what I love most about ragnarok: that rangarok took all of the character assassination bullshit from the dark world and age of ultron and turned it on its ass.

dark world implies loki killed his father to take the crown? ragnarok makes loki a blassé and nonviolent leader that just dropped his dad off at a nursing home. GOD OF MISCHIEF. not god of death or god of pain and suffering. MISCHIEF. 100% the most in-character Loki Thing he’s done since the first thor movie. not only that but not for one second does thor ever think loki capable of killing their father. because he isn’t.

the dark world makes thor say a bunch of horrible and damaging things to loki? ragnarok has him still struggle with it but legitimately come to rational terms with everything enough to show their disfunctional but ultimately loving relationship.

age of ultron creates the dumbest romantic trope in the history of man between natasha and bruce? ragnarok makes so much fun of it to the point where it’s shown to be as ridiculous as it is.

the dark world AND age of ultron make thor this broody and unfunny mythical being? ragnarok fuckin made sure that was no longer the case because what makes thor so wonderful is his moral compass, aloofness, and kindness.

they literally fixed the infinity gauntlet plot hole in 0.0002 seconds. this movie took everything wrong with the MCU and fuckin fixed it

god, what a movie

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: House Tyrell is the second most powerful house in all of Westeros, from the amount of gold they have, to their massive armies which are easily supported by their gold. They still have a number of powerful members of their family even with Margaery and Loras dead. In addition to that they have spies, bards, etc, all over the seven kingdoms just like everyone else. Casterly Rock is incredibly far away from High Garden and there’s no way in hell that pretty much the entire Lannister army would march all the way to the Tyrell’s capital in High Garden with literally nobody noticing; and even if they got there the Tyrell’s army isn’t exactly non-existant. To fight them the Lannister’s would’ve easily sacrificed such a large amount of their forces making their chances against Daenerys almost negligible, all the while making Kings Landing and other Lannister controlled territory so incredibly weak that Daenerys could’ve waltzed into Kings Landing without shedding a single civilian blood drop. On top of that Olenna is one of the most incredibly intelligent and powerful characters on the entire show and wouldn’t have been eliminated from this unrealistic attack, and she also has more than a single castle she could’ve retreated to. Also Euron’s fleet just appeared out of nowhere with zero warning as well? Just like in the fight with the sand snakes? Where he defeated three of the show’s most powerful women at once? All of this has but one explanation: Sloppy storytelling

You know what, the ‘suddenly, there’s 5 more Winter Soldiers’ subplot

has gotten a lot of flack, and I don’t disagree that it could and should have been handled a lot better, but even as it is, I really really like what it says, or rather, confirms about Bucky.

Keep reading

givenchy & gold, part i (m.)

;pairing — jungkook/reader

;warnings — sex | implied exhibitionism | mild dom/sub tones | if u’ve got a praise kink then ur gonna love this | mentions of daddy kinks | instances of spanking 

;summary — you’re the supervisor of the clothing department with a lot of useless lingerie knowledge, jungkook is the jewelry department’s defiant hot boy who flirts in wristwatch brands. basically an upscale retail au, but with lots of implied under-the-counter sex. and when an opportunity presents itself to fuck each other in the boss’s office after hours, you’re both too hot for each other to say no.

;word count — 20k im so sorry

part i | part ii | drabbles

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Reasons why the Harry Potter movies really messed up the Marauders

- Let’s start with the most obvious point : their age.

All actors who play characters from the Marauders’ era are way too old. Lily and James died at the age of 21 but in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Geraldine Somerville and Adrian Rawlins were respectively 34 and 41 years old.

Having older actors play Harry’s parents totally negates the fact that they were just kids when they died (and also that they were just kids when they had Harry, and considering that they were in the middle of a war, Harry was most certainly an accident, but let’s not get into that right now). It makes their death less tragic, plus it’s just not accurate ok.

These guys are also way too old

Anyone who attended Hogwarts at the same time as James and Lily would have been in their 30s during Harry’s years. That’s just not the case of Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis and Timothy Spall. Again, the whole tragedy of their lives revolves around the fact that they never got to grow old (or even to grow up in Sirius’ case, but again, that’s another issue/theory). Snape was only 38 when he died, but Alan Rickman was 65 in Deathly Hallows part 2. Now, I love Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Snape as much as the next person, but this age thing still bothers me a lot.


- Another very obvious point : Lily’s eyes

I mean, how do you even screw up so badly? How many times is it mentioned that Lily had green eyes, just like Harry’s? First of all, neither Harry nor the various actresses who played Lily had green eyes, but they hired an actress to play young Lily whose eyes didn’t even match Daniel Radcliffe’s?

I know the fandom has been talking about this for ages, and we should all have moved on by now, but it’s such an important part of the story, I don’t think I can ever get over it.


- On to point number 3 : THIS

James Potter was indeed on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but certainly not in 1970, as he attended Hogwarts from 1971 to 1979, and as a Chaser, NOT a Seeker.


- Should we even talk about this?

First of all, those two actors look nothing alike, and second of all, there is no way in hell that this is what James Potter looked like. Everything, from his hair (James is supposed to have dark, messy hair) to his face is off. I don’t know who that is but it’s not James Potter.


- Now, onto a less obvious point : the Marauder’s Map.

I’m sure we all have wondered, at some point or another, why the hell Fred and George never noticed Peter Pettigrew on the map. After all, the name would have been following Percy, and then Ron around all the time.

Well, I do have a theory as to why Peter’s name would not have appeared on the map, but the movies ruined that.

Let me explain. In the movie, Harry sees Peter Pettigrew’s name on the map, but in the book, the only person who sees Peter’s name is Remus.

My theory is that the Marauders, when they made the map, made it so that no one could see their names on it, other than the Marauders themselves. That way, if it fell into the wrong hands (say, a professor’s, or Snape’s), that person couldn’t use it to know their whereabouts. But the other Marauders could see their friends’ names so they always knew where to find each other.

That would explain why Remus was able to see Peter on the map, but Fred and George never noticed the man who literally slept in the same bed as their brother.

Again, since Harry sees Peter on the map in the movie, that theory can no longer be applied, and the plot hole remains.


- Finally, my last, and most important point :

The Marauders’ story is literally NEVER talked about in the movies?? Nowhere does it say that Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were in fact Remus, Peter, Sirius and James. Nowhere does it say that THEY were the Marauders. Nowhere does it say how or why they became animagi. They don’t talk about the Prank, or why the Whomping Willow was planted, or where the Shrieking Shack got its reputation as a haunted house. Why is Harry’s Patronus a stag? Who tf knows. Someone who never read the books would probably be very confused about the whole Marauders thing, because there. is. literally. nothing. about. them. in. the. movies.

(I’m mad.)

anonymous asked:

J'onn can literally read minds. Why is it that when there's something skecthy involving Lena he just doesn't go and reads her mind and realizes she's innocent? Is it because he just hears 'Kara is so pretty' 'Kara's eyes are so blue and beautiful' 'I wonder what kara's favorite flower is' and he feels uncomfortable?

  • “girl, i hate to see you go but i love to watch you leave”
  • “her biceps.. oh. my. god.”
  • at one point it’s a constant scream with pauses for anguished wails
  • “her eyes her eyes make the stars look like they’re not shining, her hair her hair falls perfectly without her trying”

[j'onn voice] oh, dear god

so basically the motives of all the As were ‘I’m jealous that you’re all friends and you don’t want to be friends with me even though that’s perfectly reasonable because I’m fucking crazy’.
— 

my salty older sister minutes after 7x20 finished

SHE HAD ME HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER OMFG