the plains of heaven


John Martin (1789–1854, England)

Dramatic landscapes 1

John Martin was an English Romantic painter and one of the most popular artists of his day. He was celebrated for his typically vast and melodramatic paintings of religious subjects and fantastic compositions, populated with minute figures placed in imposing landscapes. His dramatic and subjective style of composition was in stark contrast to the emerging schools of naturalism and realism, which led his work to fall out of critical favour soon after his death, however a revival in interest has occured towards the end of the 20th century, and now his major works are popular pieces of many museum’s collections.

Fic Update: Between Heaven and Hell

Summary: A Hook/Emma angel/demon AU. They hide in plain sight, the servants of heaven and hell. The angels and the demons, who can save your soul or damn it. They stand on opposite sides, they are the bringers of light and the agents of darkness, they are enemies in an eternal war, but what happens when an angel and a demon are inexplicably drawn to each other?

Read this chapter on here and on AO3 here

                                             Part Twenty

Something was about to go down.

Something big.

Something soon.

Will could sense it, the way he’d always been able to tell the exact moment when he had to ditch a boosted ride before the plates were broadcasted to every police cruiser in the city, or noticed Loss Prevention discreetly following him around in a store and watching to see if he was going to try to slip something under his jacket and walk out without paying. He was good at it, always getting out just before the shit was about to hit the proverbial fan, no matter how much his teenage buddies used to protest when he pulled over in the stolen Merc or Mustang they were joyriding in and ordered them to all get out and scatter. Three of them got busted for Grand Theft Auto one night when Will was busy on a snatch-and-grab job for Hood, one was lucky, he was barely sixteen and got tried as a juvenile, but the other two…they got handed felony sentences and three years in the state pen.

His phone had been vibrating in his pocket during the whole ride from the Jolly Roger to Jones’s condo but he didn’t dare answer, not with the way Jones was staring out the tinted window, as still as a statue save for the drumming of his fingers on the empty leather seat next to him. He hadn’t said a word after his curt order of “drive” and he stayed completely silent while Will parked in the plum spot reserved in the underground garage for the penthouse, exiting the SUV before Will even had the keys out of the ignition and making a beeline towards the elevator. Will watched him in the rearview mirror, the brake lights casting a red glow over Jones’s face as he walked behind the car. His head turned and their eyes met for a brief moment, the red reflection going even brighter in his pupils and Will blinked at the weirdly distorted image. He had looked almost….inhuman, for a split-second, all red eyes and lips that curled in a sneer against a mouth as dark as a black hole. But then it was gone, and Will blinked again and rubbed his finger nervously over the key fob, feeling the raised lines and edges of the tiny logo press against his palm like an anchor to reality.

It must have just been a trick of the light.

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anonymous asked:

Hi again. I'm the same anon who asks about the rules. Thank you so much for that. I would like to request for Starish, QN and Heavens reaction to shy , plain (not ugly but not pretty) and tomboyish (prefer t-shirts over tight tops, sneakers over high heels) s/o having people gossip about s/o when two of them pass by some random citizens saying "how did that plain girl get such a hottie like him?". S/o personally is not bothered at all but the princes don't have the same reaction

Boy this was some work! 18 people in one ask xD Anyways, tell me what you think!

Your date was going amazing despite the several pairs of eyes locked onto you. Your boyfriend and you didn’t care, choosing to enjoy yourself rather than bother with their attention. With your hair cascading down, a shirt and pants put on and your favourite pair of sneakers; it was all perfect until that one whisper.

“So plain. I wonder how she got him.”

You walked on, head held high as you ignored the sudden downpour of whispers that were now initiated.

“Yeah! ○○○-kun has better taste in girls, she’s…ugh.”

Your boyfriend stiffened and your grip tightened on your interlocked fingers as you pushed forward, silently asking him to not react. Giggles were followed. His fingers were shaking but you gave him a small smile, sure that this childish behaviour would end soon.

“I know! She must have seduced him with her….other things…” Someone purred teasingly, causing laughter to erupt and your boyfriend stopped, tugging you back as he turned to face them.


You didn’t like the smile Otoya’s face had. It suddenly turned cold when he heard that accusation. Determined to rectify the situation, he kissed your forehead before looking at them. The words came out immediately. “Stop! What do you know about ○○○-chan huh?! Nothing! That gives you no right to talk about her badly!” The redhead fumed, ever ready to defend you no matter what happened. He took your hand and walked off, making sure to shoot everyone a scary glare before doing so.


Your date was pleasant until they ruined it throughly. While you were used to such insults, knowing that they didn’t really affect you, Masato wasn’t. He didn’t like, he hated, the fact that you tolerated such utter nonsense. His grip tightened on your fingers and you tried to persuade him to let go but he wasn’t having any of that. “Enough of this childish banter. One does not continue to insult someone just because that person tolerates it. ○○○, let’s go, I’d rather not deal with them.” He warned, satisfied when the women nodded, utterly shocked. If these girls were a bunch of men, consider their futures ruined if Masato ever demanded a search carried out on them.


His smile turned firm, almost cold. His ‘grin’ widened as he leaned closer to that girl who insulted your assets. “Wahaha! I didn’t hear you quite there! What did you just say?” He asked, his voice bright and cheery but it sent shudders of fear down your insulter’s spine. They looked away, suddenly embarrassed. Natsuki smiled at the rest who averted their gazes before turning back to you and humming happily. He didn’t wheedle an apology out of them but was sure that they were sorry for crossing by you and speaking like that.


He did not like the words he just heard. He was disgusted, willing to break a few jaws but alas, he did not raise his hand at a woman. His eyes narrowed at the crowd who visibly looked afraid to their wits. “I see. ○○○ seduced me. Of course she did, which is why she dresses so ‘plainly’ as you put it, and does not announce to the whole world that we’re dating. Of course, she seduced me.” He chuckled darkly, his eyes glinting predatorily. “I’ve never heard anything more dumb than that. ○○○, we’re leaving. People who gossip about you are just jealous.”


One gaze from Ren had them stiffen. He smirked, the expression not reaching his eyes as he slowly sauntered towards your accuser, eyeing them from head to toe. “So, lady, care to repeat what you just said?” He whispered, low and dangerous. The girl shook her head almost immediately, shooting you a glare. Ren stepped in between, shielding you from her. He spat out the next few words. “For you to insult someone because you don’t have what they you know what it speaks about you, ladies?” The girl’s face turned pale and the remaining who laughed along with her, tried not to cower. Ren ran a hand through his hair, his smirk widening. “It says that you are someone who cannot see the beauty in a person. You are someone who judges people by just their surface.” His voice was cold, enough to horrify you as well the motley. “I want you out of my sight and a million miles away from my honey. Now.”


He balled his fists angrily, his voice louder than before. “You all, stop! Enough there!” The girls looked shocked as he dropped his fists, glaring at each and every one of them. “Ugh. You all are children. ○○○ did nothing to get me. I fell in love with her. Wanna know why?” He narrowed his eyes, noting the speechlessness in the audience. “Because she’s definitely not like this.” He spat out and took your hand, making sure you left the place immediately. He might’ve lost a few fans there but you mattered more.


You swore that you heard the prince hiss when he heard the first insult itself. Now? He was furious, ready to destroy anyone, anyone who insulted you. “How repulsive.” The words came out louder than he intended it to. “This is so mean of you to do so.” He told, pointing his shaky finger to every one of the girls. “So what if you all think ○○○ seduced me? It does not change that I love her and that I know her more than you all.” He pivoted on his heel, stomping off, with you in tow. He didn’t want to start a fight but if he was still a cat, he would have most certainly scratched every one of them. You were his precious princess. You don’t deserve such horrible accusations.


He laughed. Loudly. Clenching his stomach, he turned back to face your pile of insulters, shaking from the after effects of his sudden outburst. Your eyes were widely open and so were the eyes of the women who so freely gossiped about you. “I’m sorry, sorry~ ○○○-chan seduced me? I’ve not heard a funnier joke than that!” He laughed again, the sound darker and dangerous this time. He smiled at the women who refused to meet his eyes, shaking his head. “The one who’s ugh is you, not my ○○○-chan.” Seeing them stiffen, he smirked and continued. “Besides, if she did seduce me, I doubt I would have left our bed and brought her out on this date!” He added cheerily before taking your flustered hand and running off.


You had to hold onto Ranmaru to prevent him from actually starting a fist fight with women. He just stared them down, his heterochromatic eyes glaring daggers at every single one of them. “Ran…let’s just go..” You whispered helplessly and he stiffened at your pleading voice. He decided to heed to your request but spat out a few words before leaving. “Disgusting. I’d die sooner than be admired by any of you.”


He didn’t like the mixed bout of anger and frustration kicking inside him. He knew that people gossiped like this only when they were jealous, indicating that they couldn’t have what the subject of their topic possessed. This was normal among humans and yet hearing such insults towards his ○○○ irked him. He wanted to give them a setback and so he did, when he eyed them all with a narrow gaze, his tone flat. “Stop. This is nothing but immature behaviour. Although ○○○ remarkably tolerates this, I won’t. How you all talk makes me feel disgusted.”


He wasn’t going to tolerate this. His icy blue eyes turned cold as he suppressed a scoff, instead plastering on a smile that was everything but pleasant. “Peasants.” He disliked the kind of language he used for a motley of women but right now, none would get away with insulting his ○○○ to his face. The word did shock his audience as he eyed them all murderously, his glares sharper than a dagger. “Apologise to ○○○ now. I would not bear with you all talking to her with such disrespect. She is my countess, my jewel. Far be it from me to bat an eyelash when fools like you openly accuse her being.”


It was only once when you saw Eiichi snap. You had committed his form to memory so that you would not rile his temper up again. Now here he stood, his fists curling, his eyes glinting dangerously. He snickered like a devil, sending the women into another set of whispers but his low voice shut them up. “Low. So so so very low of you to talk about my ○○○ this way. Why do I even have you as my fans?” His trembling laughter shook you to your very core. He made sure to leave them all a glare before taking your wrist, pulling you close to his chest and walking off.


You knew your boyfriend was a man of few words but his silence now scared you more than his talking. His grip on your hand tightened and you tried not to yelp. You tugged on your intertwined fingers, indicating that you two should leave but Kira halted you in your steps, pulling you close. “No.” He whispered to you. He repeated that louder to the women in the back, his golden eyes gleaming with a sense of protectiveness. “○○○ is nothing like how you picture her to be. She’s the most amazing woman I have ever met.” His words rocked the females into silence. “Your behaviour speaks a lot about your character, however.” He told them loud enough before walking off with you, clenching your fingers reassuringly.


“Haaa…I smell jealousy of their nails~” Nagi cooed, completely in character, the only things that showed how angry he was were the twitching of his lips and the narrowing of his brows. He sauntered up to them, his coffee cup still in hand from your recent date. Eyeing them one by one, he smiled when he found his target, the one who thought you ‘seduced’ this boy. Without a word, he splashed the cold liquid onto her, she screamed in response. He smiled innocently but his eyes glared murderously at every one of them. “Whoopsie! I totally accidentally dropped that~ I’m sorry~” He sang out. His next few words were cold. “Do that next time and I doubt cold coffee will be only thing that spoils your dress.”


He was torn in between yelling and politely correctly the women who dared to insult you. Clenching his fists, he breathed out slowly, deciding to take the gentle route first. “I beg your pardon?” He asked, ever the gentleman, hoping they would correct themselves. He didn’t expect the women to repeat their words, this time they sounded far more dramatic. He balled his fists, you held his arm and pleadingly tugged on it, asking him to let go. He stared into your (e/c) eyes, his violet ones burning with anger. He turned back to them. “That was very rude and childish of you. I believe you owe ○○○ a sound apology.” He said, his piercing gaze unwavering. Seeing the determination in your boyfriend made you tear up and a few of them apologised. In the end, Eiji showered you with all the love possible, in an attempt to make you forget those insults.


His smile froze when the last few words dropped out of those women’s mouths. You saw his eyes darken a shade dangerously but your grip was firm on his arm. He met you eyes and was torn between doing something to those snakes disguised as women or to just walk off. His rage won. His fingers traced your hips as his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you up in the air. You shrieked, surprised by the sudden motion, the emotion only increasing when Van brought his lips to yours, claiming you passionately before your onlookers. Collective gasps were heard. Some jaws dropped. Jealousy was the obvious emotion amongst them. He pulled away, kissing your mouth again before turning to them with a smirk. “Say what again? ○○○ is my girlfriend. I love her. My one and only. You dare do that again and I doubt I’d tolerate it. Feel lucky that she’s so patient.” He spat out, making sure you didn’t have to deal with such an event again.


You saw his jaw twitch, the veins in his biceps rising as he glared at the women. You tried to pull him away, sure that he would go violent but he wanted to give them a good thrashing, by words if not actions. His clenched fists were turning pale from the force as he edged towards them with every step; you ran frantically behind him squeaking a “Yamato, don’t!” and “Yamato, please.” along the way. He didn’t listen. Stamping his foot loud on the ground, he eyed them all. “Say what? Repeat your words again.” He challenged, cracking his knuckles. The pale, aghast faces of the women did not serve him well and he was determined to get an apology out. He motioned towards you. “Apologise to her.” He thundered, his eyebrows furrowing. “Now.” You heard a mumble of sorries and nodded before yanking Yamato off, covering your blush and tears for he just stood up for you, proving his love.


“How utterly terribly disappointing that all of you are blind to the obvious beauty ○○○ possesses.” His clear voice rang out, like a stream of pure water amongst the cacophony of cicadas. He shook his head disapprovingly, ready to hex the person who dared to throw such false statements at you. When one of them tried to justify their words, he shot them a glare, silencing them. “Apologise to ○○○ this very instant.” He demanded, his grip tightening on your hand.

The signs as Florence + the machine lyrics
  • Aries: falling's not the problem when I'm falling I'm at peace it's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief
  • Taurus: and I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
  • Gemini: I don't want your future I don't need your past one bright moment is all I ask
  • Cancer: too fast for freedom sometimes it all falls down these chains never leave me I keep dragging them around
  • Leo: holy water cannot help you now thousand armies couldn't keep me out I don't want your money I don't want your crown see I've come to burn your kingdom down
  • Virgo: and in the dark I can hear your heartbeat I tried to find the sound but then it stopped and I was in the darkness so darkness I became
  • Libra: oh the queen of peace always does her best to please is it any use? somebody's gotta lose
  • Scorpio: and I'm learning so I'm leaving and even though I'm grieving I'm trying to find the meaning let loss reveal it
  • Sagittarius: and the arms of the ocean are carrying me and all this devotion was rushing out of me and the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me but the arms of the ocean delivered me
  • Capricorn: I was disappearing in plain sight heaven help me I need to make it right you want a revelation you wanna get it right but it's a conversation I just can't have tonight
  • Aquarius: to let me dangle at a cruel angle oh my feet don't touch the floor sometimes you're half in and then you're half out but you never close the door
  • Pisces: and oh poor Atlas the world’s a beast of a burden you’ve been holding up a long time and all this longing and the ships are left to rust that’s what the water gave us

Fic Update

Summary:  A Hook/Emma angel/demon AU. They hide in plain sight, the servants of heaven and hell. The angels and the demons, who can save your soul or damn it. They stand on opposite sides, they are the bringers of light and the agents of darkness, they are enemies in an eternal war, but what happens when an angel and a demon are inexplicably drawn to each other?

Read this chapter on here or on AO3 here

                                               Part Nineteen

Saint Luke’s was lit up against the night sky like a Christmas tree, the bright red EMERGENCY sign followed by an equal sided cross that was the universally recognized symbol of first aid across the Western world were both clearly visible from across the wide street as Emma parked her Bug in a miraculously open spot behind a van emblazoned on the side with the logo of a local news channel. Two more news vans were parked a little further down the block and white floodlights pierced the darkness, each coming from atop a TV camera aimed at the hospital. Emma stood next to her old yellow car for a moment and watched, taking in the stone-faced security guards who had come outside to hold the clamouring reporters at bay just outside of the entrance to the ER. They were like a flock of vultures, swooping down to pick apart the latest juicy carcass that had crossed their path until there was nothing left but the bones.

“-unconfirmed reports that Caroline Spencer, wife of longtime city councilman and mayoral hopeful Albert Spencer, was brought here to Saint Luke’s by ambulance from the Prince Hotel approximately an hour ago. A source has told us that Mrs. Spencer was found in a suite at the hotel in considerable distress and hotel security called 911. It is not known if Albert Spencer was with his wife at the time or the exact nature of her medical emergency, hospital representatives are refusing to confirm if she even is, in fact, a patient, citing confidentiality laws. We’ll remain on scene as this story continues to unfold, now back to you in the studio.”

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anonymous asked:

Hi! I think you've been doing a great job with all these fic lists, but i was wondering if you might have any forbidden romance lists (sorry if this has already been done)? Thanks!

Forbidden Love!

Between Heaven and Hell by @alexandralyman​  A Hook/Emma angel/demon AU. They hide in plain sight, the servants of heaven and hell. The angels and the demons, who can save your soul or damn it. They stand on opposite sides, they are the bringers of light and the agents of darkness, they are enemies in an eternal war, but what happens when an angel and a demon are inexplicably drawn to each other?

Forbidden by @totheendoftheworldortime She is an Amazon. He is Greek. She is a princess. He is captured in battle. An ancient Amazonian tradition brings them together but their love is forbidden. This is their story

Evergreen by @shoedonym CS secret relationship/forbidden love AU. Killian is wrong, she knows he is; they are not cursed. But she also knows he feels trapped between a rock and an even less forgiving place. It was never about her. It was never about whether he loved her enough to fight for them - nothing could be further from the truth. It was about him.

Tied With A Silver Chain by Commandante Theresa AU Captain Swan. Pirate Killian/Princess Emma. When Princess Emma is captured by the dreaded Captain Hook, she learns he’s the same man who broke into her castle & seduced her 2 years ago. Head over heels in love , yet betrothed to a tyrant’s son, can Killian save her, or will their forbidden passion destroy not only themselves but the Enchanted Forest too? No curse.

When in Rome by @qqueenofhades Historical AU. When a slave gladiator, Killian mac Dáithí, catches the eye of Emma Aurelia, the praetor’s daughter, they are plunged into a world of intrigue, treachery, danger, and forbidden love, among the high halls of power in the Roman Empire and the shadowy men who rule it. Captain Swan with some Outlaw Queen. Complete. 

and of course all the priest fics

worth it by @boyfriendhook Priest!Killian and Emma Swan share an intimate evening behind closed doors.

Forgive Me, Father by @captainswanismyendgame  Mary Margaret and Emma are roommates, and she keeps trying to get Emma to attend church with her. When she finally gives in, she gets more than she bargains for

Take Me to Church by @optomisticgirl  Emma Swan returned to her southern hometown of Storybrooke to pick up the pieces of her last shattered relationship, determined to rebuild her life in the one place she swore she’d never return to. What she didn’t expect was the new priest and the journey of passion, love, and redemption he would take her on. [Priest!Killian Modern AU]

and many more in the  Priest Killian Masterlist by @cslibrary

want more recs ? cs + Long Distance

and thank you :)

anonymous asked:

Whats your take on Cas' arc this season? Cause i don't get it..IMO 1st half was very strong w/ his continued arc about belonging, bonding with Mary etc. But then what happened? Why did his story change to be about religious faith, destiny wanting a world without free will ruled by a supernatural being, why is this this story now when that was relevant for years i mean, we had his FATHER/GOD last season then there was nothing on this theme cause its not his current story so what is this now

I don’t think his overall arc has changed from what it has always been about. He’s always been caught in a balance between Heaven and the Winchesters but “Heaven” is quite an abstract concept for Cas after a while. 

I watched 10x18 last night, and lemme be awful and quote Metatron to start off :P

What we did back there was unfortunate. No more of our brothers and sisters should die.

Brothers and sisters? Listen to you. Still spitting out the company line like anyone cares. Like we’re actually a family? When what we really are – are a bunch of glowing lights filled with self-loathing or delusions of grandeur. Or both.

You shut up!

No! If I’m gonna die, I want answers. Like, who are you now? Like, you’re obviously not an angel of the Lord. And what about all of this walking the earth like Caine from “Kung Fu” crap? Cleaning up Heaven’s messes. How many more rogue angels are there out there? And, what are you gonna do once you’re done with all that? Go back to Heaven? Please. The angel formerly known as Hannah has restored order up top. Smoothest it’s run since God cut the ribbon on the pearly gates. So tell me, Castiel, truly, what is your mission now?

You shut up and keep looking. [Castiel walks away.]

Essentially, Cas has still been stuck here since 10x07 and Jack’s disrupted him majorly for the first time, but let’s backtrack…

So in season 4, Cas’s conflict is between Heaven and doing what’s he’s told, and listening to Dean and doing what he thinks is right. This conflict is introduced early on with 4x07, where Cas is supposed to follow Dean’s orders by order of Heaven, and Uriel is like fuck that I wanna smite this town just because, but Cas won’t let him. Cas’s conflict with orders turns to be hunted and in the end reprogrammed because he won’t do what he’s supposed to without coercion, showing us that orders (and Heaven) are bad and Cas wanting free will and to do the right thing and align with Dean is right. He does this at the end as his big damn hero moment.

In season 5, Cas’s conflict is more abstract. He wants to go fetch God as a replacement for the vague orders from Heaven which he no longer trusts, and basically the ultimate deferring to a higher power. Dean warily gives him the amulet to start his search, but the end of the search basically results in God telling Cas to naff off and think for himself. Rebuffed from having anyone to take orders from, Cas sulks around the Winchesters for the rest of the season, his faith in everything up to and including Dean shattered. He rebuilds this faith after Dean doesn’t say yes to Michael, and once again follows him to doing the right thing at the end. This whole conflict is overtly about Peace vs Freedom and Cas loses faith in Dean when he picks “Peace” and regains his loyalty to him when he picks “Freedom” - this is how Cas ends the season, pointing out Dean got what he wanted.

In season 6, Cas IS this higher power/Heaven/God/where the orders come from, but he steps into this role because he believes God appointed him the new sheriff in town. Raphael represents the old order/Heaven and wants to be God too. Cas struggles with this power, and maintaining Freedom, and appeals to God at the end when it’s all unravelling into the chaos that Freedom inevitably brings, and his downfall is played as because he doesn’t align with Dean and attempts to be the new order.

In the start of season 7 he acts as God, the higher power order, and eventually basically self-implodes from trying to maintain that. His high-minded ideals to force a sort of peace and happiness on the world are undermined from within by the leviathan, a dark chaotic presence. At the end of the season he falls into denial and running away from his issues, and he and Dean struggle to reconcile, as the main arc which allows the defeating of the leviathan. Heaven barely plays a role but they’re horrified by what he did/became if we take Hester as a representative of how the angels feel in general at their worst opinion of Cas, and he is nostalgically fond of them but doesn’t want anything to do with them and their attempts to restore order.

In season 8 Naomi once again brainwashes him onto their side, using that to get his cooperation to restore order and empower Heaven (and in general I assume she’s been using these tactics to overhaul and repair what she can) and it goes about as well for them as in season 4, when Cas goes chaotic on them, answering to the higher power of the tablet, aka directly from God, before Metatron derails him on the guilt trip to fix Heaven, which is a personal arc for Cas and the remains of his obligation to be an angel/work for Heaven. Once again Dean’s got the sense something is up with Cas all season, and though sometimes misguided about confronting him (grr 8x22) calls him out pretty consistently and generally represents the main character always right about everything pull he’s always done for Cas - Cas’s conflict is finally more obvious about being between Heaven and Dean because even after the crypt scene, he runs away serving the tablet and then is off on his mission with Metatron, giving Dean whiplash on what he’s doing which isn’t just being chill and like 8x08 Cas. (For the most part - 8x08 does have the one private conversation between them reveal Cas’s massive guilt). Edlund hands us back Cas at the end of 8x21 with for the first time since the end of season 6 and lasting until the end of season 12, an un-tampered-with sense of self to have character development and grow and change, in time for him to have things happen like becoming human to REALLY kick off Cas’s self-exploration and personal conflict.

Season 9 manages the conflict more cleanly - Cas is suuuuper guilty about the fall, so his motives are quite plain now. He has to sort out Heaven, struggles with not wanting to be a leader, but the angels all seeing him as a great war hero or important figure or despised but powerful and dangerous enemy, and Cas’s conflict is now getting laid out on screen - human or angel, leader or not… Obligation to repair Heaven and help the angels and his family is a strong motivator, and he does as much as he can for them until it crumbles at the end, and he ends up on a personal mission to save Dean which just follows in the PATH of his angel mission (e.g. he still has to go to Heaven and confront Metatron, but now it’s not because he’s doing it to overthrow him, he’s doing it to help Dean). Cas also is rejected from both angel and human families because of Gadreel asking Cas to leave, and so feeling rejected by Dean, the card is played that Cas falls back on trying to help the angels FIRST and losing out, leaving the Dean card un-played. There’s no peace or freedom imagery really, as it’s all a mad scrabble to sort Heaven out and the angels aren’t paying a great deal of attention to humans and their place in the natural order.

When we get to season 10, it’s a bit more reflective. Cas’s mission with Hannah is now interrupted with trying to save Dean, and there’s finally the reflection on what angels DO and what they’re FOR. Hannah goes back to heaven to preach the original mission, and Cas goes to help Claire after several threads combine to finally get him to remember and care about her. Hannah’s decision emphasises allowing humans free will by not possessing them, and respecting that and leaving them well alone and Heaven begins seriously withdrawing from the narrative. Heaven = meddling with free will, and historically has always wanted peace over freedom, enforcing mind control on it subjects (killing Naomi off, who’d “been in all our heads” was also a start of the angels in general having free will without any compromise so of course they freak out in season 9 :P) Cas is then on two complementary arcs of PERSONAL self-discovery, helping Claire (humanity, freedom, Cas’s guilt focused on a human instead of Heaven) and Dean (Cas’s faith and loyalty and family). He also takes a break to do a me-time episode which is 10x18 where Metatron lays down this challenge about who Cas is, pointing out in case the average viewer didn’t spot it, that Cas is really struggling to have a mission now, because he ALWAYS needs a mission. Being on call to help Sam with Dean or Claire with anything, splits his attention (10x10) but he’s determined to do his best for them (I love him so much). His conflict early in the season was where he wanted to be and what he wanted to be doing, Heaven or Earth, but Heaven tactically retreating (symbolically shown with Hannah, just in general narratively by playing no serious part in the story) but that choice is somewhat made for him by Heaven leaving and Hannah leaving him in the lurch to take Caroline home to her husband, and Cas picking up Earth-based quests to care for important humans. 

His personal story trickles out in season 10 after 10x20 does nice things for the Claire arc and his personal resolution there that he completes his mission in a sense… He spends the rest of the season helping Dean with just a bummer scene in 10x22 to enforce this is the lowest point and he’s being rejected AGAIN from being with Dean, and I would say Rowena’s curse really doesn’t count as interrupting his personhood because in season 11 when he’s not violently attacking, he has a crystal clear sense of who he is, so his conversations with Hannah and the angels in 11x02 and Dean and Sam in 11x03 are still from Cas, just with Rowena’s curse on top. In season 11 they play delay tactics - Cas’s depression is personal and to do with how hurt he’s been in general by everyone, he resolves personal crap with Metatron in 11x06 via punching him so more but doesn’t really have any more answers about who he wants to be and the choices he’s made, and in 11x10 his desire to help and need for a win lead to him being possessed, abruptly ending his role in the season as an active player and therefore giving him no real personal arc to struggle against.

Meanwhile God comes back and Lucifer in Cas gets to swing against the ultimate higher powers. There’s a sense that God can’t intervene because he’s a walking deus ex machina and takes away free will because as the Creator-author, intervening automatically is defining the story… He’s not a powerful ally, it’s literally his whim by which there is and isn’t free will… He told Cas to naff off in 5x16 because if he came to help, it’s no personal victory at all for his creations. (PS: obviously Chuck’s approach is terrible in many ways and the hands off parenting approach is directly paralleled to John, so… Not approving here lol) Amara represents obliteration of the Self, which she offers to Dean and accidentally nearly does to the universe. She treats this as a peace she can offer Dean, so Cas themes are playing out with the other characters and the universe is being re-shuffled a bit. Cas having no freedom turns into Cas being in a “peace” inside his head, watching TV and wanting no part of the fight. He chooses the same thing that in 5x18 he rejected Dean and withdrew his faith and loyalty for - possession by an archangel for the greater good. Yet another lowest point, and yet in 11x23 Dean doesn’t reject Cas for doing it, but says nice things about respecting his decisions etc. Dean firmly establishes that Cas is family to him, leaving it for Cas to accept. And these paragraphs are getting waaay too long as this becomes more relevant, sorry >.>

In season 12, Cas starts off struggling with being accepted into the family. It’s all right there for him to take, but the belonging arc mirrored with Mary, shows he still feels distant from being a part of the family, and that despite Dean’s words, he hasn’t quite had the acceptance he needs, despite all the rejection between him and Heaven one way and the other, and since season 9 his increased dislike and obligation and duty to help them, and their interest in him and activeness in the story dribbling to a stop. Dean has also seemed to reject him, but Cas has never turned away from HIM except reluctantly or being coerced somehow or because he was severely emotionally compromised with guilt or blackmail. When it comes to genuine choices like 8x17 or 9x22 he picks them, but when ASKED about it, can never answer and is interrupted or walks off every time. In this season’s case he has a similar guilt-obligation to season 8, 9, and the first half of 10, about letting Lucifer out, and so he goes to deal with that. Dealing with it leads directly to Sam and Dean being imprisoned, and an abrupt swap to Cas dealing with the family side of things - the obligation Cas feels is no longer strictly between HEAVEN and the Winchesters, but OBLIGATION and GUILT and the Winchesters, his past actions still causing a heaven-level mytharc nonsense but not really being about Heaven wanting him back or him really wanting to be with Heaven. He cuts those ties almost every time he’s confronted. 

So in a way let’s say his distraction to deal with Lucifer leads to Sam and Dean getting locked up and making the deal. He overcompensates to save them, and is thrust into a series of episodes dealing with his position in the family, where he finally gets to see Dean choosing him, and gets to tell them he loves them, and that he truly does consider them a family. In a way he now seems to have achieved something that’s been teased since maybe as far back as season 8 - 8x08 he wanted to join the family business - but definitely became a main conflict for Cas in season 9 (and I think season 12 picked up a LOT of dropped arcs that disappeared with the plot accordion of season 9, Mark of Cain onwards) 

But he still has the guilt-obligation to the Lucifer stuff and even knowing Lucifer is banished safely to the cage, the nephilim is an ongoing part of things Cas is responsible for, and so represents the same place in the narrative as other times Cas has been off doing Heaven things - obligation that takes him away from the family. In 12x19 we literally see that obligation laid out (Cas’s issue going back to 6x20 that he considers himself a guardian angel to the Winchesters, and though he says he’s not doing ANYTHING for Heaven and voices stuff that firmly suggests cut ties emotionally, from Cas’s side, which is HUGE, he will work with them in order to protect the Winchesters - so they don’t have to get involved. Same deal as season 6 - peace or freedom? He picks peace, by going behind the Winchesters’ backs and giving them no choice to help him, shouldering the burden like he’ll be going around behind their backs saving them as necessary, instead of integrating into the family and taking their problems as they come, which is what Dean does all episode. He’s lost the ability to wrangle Cas with loyalty and faith because their relationship is more equal and Cas hasn’t got all his faith invested in Dean, but having this hole in him that faith belongs to is a huge weakness/design flaw in angels, that they need it and go off the rails without it (see also: most angels we encounter after season 5 :P), so Jack, who he ALREADY has an obligation from guilt to deal with, derails Cas yet again BACK onto the obligation train to take him away from the Winchesters, this time using his faith AND his guardian angel need to protect and care for people traits to win over Cas’s absolute loyalty. And to do so, he shows Cas a vision of the Future which is essentially the same wording as the descriptions of paradise the angels fought for and Cas fought against, rejected Dean for accepting, fought again the next year, etc, so Cas’s new lowest point from 11x18 of a PERSONAL surrender to peace over freedom, is an external surrendering to peace over freedom. 

Essentially, 12x19 is fiendishly clever in twisting together every last thing that has defined Cas’s arcs, and mixing them all together. In the first third of the season we see Cas struggle and seemingly overcome one, in the second we see him struggle and seemingly overcome the next, and in the third part because he never truly balanced them, still picked obligation and missions that take him away from home and he’s shouldering a burden to resolve out of guilt that he caused it, or hesitance to join the family unit entirely but carried on treating them as if he was their guardian angel not their close family, these two things plus some other unresolved baggage ALL tie together and pile onto Cas. 

I don’t think it’s really all over the place when the season first established one, then the other, and then used them both to seriously affect Cas’s actions. I don’t think they’ve ever been telling different stories about him, just highlighting different aspects. When he was running off to hunt Lucifer with Crowley, the family stuff still hung around in the background. And when he was dealing with family stuff, he was still hunting the nephilim in the background. And when he was dealing with Heaven it wasn’t because he was mending ties with Heaven, he was protecting his family while dealing with his guilt-caused obligation to the nephilim while exploiting yet rejecting his complicated relationship with Heaven, and it all culminated in him failing a will save against the peace or freedom line that has been the main way to brainwash or control or derail Cas in many instances from Naomi’s forced programming to whatever the tablets did to him, to times like 8x23 where he runs off to fix heaven of his own free will but abandoning Dean in the process, or 10x03 where he walks out on Dean entirely because he’s weighed down with guilt and his fear of belonging. (And it gets more complicated and less epic and black and white each time.)

So, tl;dr I think these are ALL parts of who Cas is and what his conflict is, ALL THE TIME, and have been all the way through - some parts wane while others are waxing depending on the season, but in general they’re still pulling from the same source of character stuff, only with years and years and years of personal development and narrowing down Cas’s choices and trying to point him to what would make him happy and shave off the obligations bit by bit, so that he’s free to choose. And now he keeps ending up in the darkest place, but 12x19 and 12x23 were like a perfect storm of all the WORST bits of Cas’s arc, except that he wasn’t choosing to be an angel, and he did care for his family, just too abstract. And at the end, he died as an angel in a way. I don’t know how he’ll come back but I’m expecting it will not be magically poofing back graced up and a sort of ~regular~ Cas we haven’t seen since season 8, or wingless since 10x18. 

(And of course Metatron was asking that in the context of where Cas gets his grace back and is no longer living day to day about to die but again like at the end of 8x21, is confronted with full freedom and a life to live and choose what to do with it. His response is to go back to the bunker and eat pizza with his family, but that only lasts a day >.> Anyway I assume that’s a moment that’s going to be important when Cas comes back because these choices he’s been looping around were all set out for him more immediately and obviously than ever and all at once as well, so… I think it all works. Since season 9 it’s all essentially been these same challenges to Cas over and over, while Cas does various things that make you yell at the screen that no Cas that’s not what you want, or yelling encouragement that he’s maaaaybe nearly worked it out and is getting so much closer to what he wants. Sort of a game of hot or cold, or something… >.> And when it seems like he’s nearly found it, he veers back into cold territory…)


The whole thing and nothing but the thing so help me gods. (x)

Loneliness is like the rain.
It rises from the sea towards evening, evening wanes,
And from the even, distant plain
It goes to heaven, where it is always found,
And, once in heaven, falls upon the town.

The rains continues through the hybrid hours,
If all the alleys turn themselves towards morning,
And if the bodies, coupling having born
Nothing, are disappointed when they separate,
And others, caught in mutual hate,
Must sleep together in a single bed:

Then loneliness flows out to the watershed.

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I made a post and people thought it was a good idea so here you go… 242 captain swan fics to help with the end of the hiatus.

Stories are all placed into the two following categories:

  • alternate universe  
  • canon / canon divergence

(they are also divided into multichapter and one shots for better reference).

Under the cut because this is absolutely massive.

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‘My life was so wretched, it must be changed, or I must die.  After a season of darkness and struggling, light broke and relief fell: my cramped existence all at once spread out to a plain without bounds–my powers heard a call from heaven to rise, gather their full strength, spread their wings, and mount beyond ken.’
—  Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre