I was innocently scrolling through amazon, looking for Sidney Crosby related wares as you do, when I stumbled upon this action figure
Pretty cool! Totally normal for a pro athlete, but then I accidentally zoomed in and–
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WHO HURT YOU. WHAT IS IT BOY? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US?
And right then, as I contemplated how they managed to create a Sidney Crosby face mold that sucks the soul right out of your eyeball sockets, I realized that multi-millionaire, face of the NHL, Sidney Crosby must have many many toys on the market that boast his face. This can’t be the only one. I furthered my research. I was not disappointed.