the pharaoh is not amused


   It was almost embarrassing, in a way, to be suddenly confined to bedrest when there was so much to be done. Exhaling a disappointed sigh as his apprentice placed a cool rag upon his forehead, Mahad slid his gaze away from his present company.

   “You have my deepest apologies, my Pharaoh.” The feverish priest spoke softly, barely having the energy to speak above a whisper. “It is unacceptable for me to be unable to serve you like this. You have my word that by tomorrow, I will be–”

   The sorcerer’s words were cut off by a quiet chuckle from the Pharaoh.

   At least one of them could be amused at the situation.

   “You act as if it’s your fault that you fell ill, Mahad.” The Pharaoh’s voice was gentle as he spoke, lips curved into an almost playful smirk. “While it is true that you tend to over work yourself, it isn’t as if you do it without reason.”

    Atem had a point, but that did little to ease the guilt the sorcerer felt. He was in charge of security, and if he was ill, how could he do his job? To protect the Pharaoh – his most treasured friend – was his primary desire. Ever since they were children, he had been more than willing to risk his own well-being if it meant keeping the prince safe.

   As if he could sense the concern still swirling about Mahad, the Pharaoh’s expression softened into a tender smile, one hand reaching out in a comforting gesture to rest against Mahad’s warm cheek.

   “If you’re so distressed by being unable to do your work, then perhaps you should focus on getting better right now, my friend.” Getting up from his perch at the edge of Mahad’s bed, the Pharaoh began to make his exit, leaving the other quietly disappointed that his touch had left so soon.

   “Mana, I leave him in your capable hands. It’s your turn to take care of him, so please make sure that he finally gets the rest he deserves.” The Pharaoh paused briefly at the door and turned his head to glance at the young apprentice standing by the sorcerer’s bedside, his smile becoming somewhat playful.

                                            “And that’s an order~”

Ahkmenrah x Reader: The Intern

I don’t own the picture, and I don’t own Night at the Museum.  Other than that, enjoy!
“Y/N!”  You jumped at your boss’s sudden outburst.  You turned around to see Dr. McPhee frantically sorting through the papers in his arms as he speed walked over to you.

“Yes?”  You asked, trying to lower your heart rate back to normal.  Dr. McPhee stopped in front of you and dumped the pile of paper into your arms. 

“I need you to sort through those and organize them chronologically and put these on my desk before opening tomorrow.”  He spun on his heel and rushed off to his office.  The entire exchange had taken no more than ten seconds and left you dumbfounded.  You looked down at the pile of paper in your arms and groaned at the size of the stack.  The joys of being an intern.   You slowly made your way back to your office which was just the rickety table in the back of the locker room.  After closing the door behind you, you pulled an old metal chair over to the table and sat down.  You put the large stack of papers next to you, and fished your phone out of your pocket.  You turned it on, and played some  music.   You were making pretty good progress, and eventually hit the halfway mark.  Deciding to take a break, you got up to stretch and turned up your music.  You grinned as your music transitioned to one of your favorite songs.  Suddenly feeling energized, you began to move to the music.  Within the span of thirty seconds you were bouncing around the room, swaying as you laughed. You heard the door open, but you brushed it off, still caught up in your music.  When the song finally ended, you walked back to the table and turned the volume back down, still giggling.  As you sat down to resume your work, it finally hit you that the door had opened.  You glanced up, and a shriek tore from your throat when your eyes landed on the Egyptian pharaoh watching you with an amused expression.  You stood up suddenly and ran to your bag in the corner, pulling out a can of pepper spray.  You aimed it at him, and he quickly put his hands up in defense.

“Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?”  You hissed, your hands slightly shaking

“I’m not going to hurt you, I just—”

“Answer the damn question!”  You shouted.  He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Fine.  My name is Ahkmenrah, and I am the fourth king of the fourth king.”  You rolled your eyes and moved your finger to the trigger.

“Bullshit.”  You deadpanned.  “I’m going to ask you again, and if you try that again I’m calling security.”  He smirked.  You pressed the trigger lightly, letting a cloud of pepper spray release into the space between you.  “Who.  Are.  You?”  You asked, trying to keep the tremor out of your voice.  Honestly, you amazed that you hadn’t gone hysterical yet.  Before the stranger could answer again, the door swung open. 

“Y/N!” Larry exclaimed when he came in.  “What are you still doing here?”

“Larry!”  You shouted.  “I was doing some paperwork for McPhee.”  You turned to the stranger.  “But who the hell is this?”

“Oh, that’s Ahkmenrah.”  He answered.  You stared at him, confused.

“Wait.  You mean to say he was telling the truth the entire time?”    Ahkmenrah nodded.

“I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just trying to hide from Rexy and this is one of the only places he can’t fit in and—”

“Wait a minute,” You held a hand up.  “Who’s Rexy?”  Ahkmenrah and Larry exchanged a look. 

“Give us a second.”  They walked over to a corner of a room and discussed something quietly.  Every once in a while, one of them would glance over at you, making you nervous.  Eventually they came back to stand with you.  “Alright, come with us,” Larry motioned for you to follow the pair as they opened the door.  Screams and whoops drifted through the door along with blaring music. You shrunk back from the sudden change in atmosphere, and wondered if you really wanted to know what was going on.  A hand landed on your shoulder, and you looked up at Ahkmenrah.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” He told you warmly.  “I promise.  You nodded as you tried to fight the heat rushing to your cheeks.  You awkwardly brushed his hand off your shoulder and walked over to where Larry was standing.  He wiggled his eyebrows at you teasingly, prompting you elbow him in the stomach.  He dodged your elbow, laughing, and motioned for you to go through the door.  Just as you were about to step through the door, a massive skeletal foot slammed down just a few feet from where you were standing. With a shriek, you leapt back from the door.  You collided with Ahkmenrah, whose hands shot out to keep you from falling over as Larry began shouting at the massive skeleton.

“Are you alright?”  He asked you.

“Yeah,” You replied breathlessly.  You looked over your shoulder at Ahkmenrah.  You froze at how close his face was to yours.  “Yeah…I’m fine.”  You both stared at each other for a moment.  You both snapped out of your trance and leapt apart when Larry cleared his throat loudly.  You both were blushing madly, and you could’ve sworn that you saw Ahkmenrah glaring at Larry over your head. 

“We can get through now.”  Was all Larry said before striding through the door.  You heard a cough from behind you .  You turned around to see Ahkmenrah holding his arm out. 

“Shall we?”  You smiled and looped your arm through his, trying to ignore your racing heart.  Inwardly you were dumbfounded.  How do I already have crush on this guy?  I’ve only known him for ten minutes!  How does that even work?  But despite your inner debate you still followed him.  You were instantly surrounded by a giant celebration.  There was a T-Rex chasing a bone being dragged along by a little car that you swore you saw people inside.  The little car stopped at your feet, and two little voices shouted up two quick introductions to you, and sped off again as the massive dinosaur raced after them. There was a group of Huns doing the limbo by the information desk that waved and shouted something in another language to you as Teddy Roosevelt rode by with a Native American girl behind him, slowing down to talk to you and Ahkmenrah for a while.  Larry walked over to where you stood with Ahkmenrah.

“So what do you think?”  Larry asked smugly.

“What do I think?  This is amazing!”  You exclaimed.  “How is this happening?”

“The tablet, actually,” You were amazed. 

“Does it happen every night?”  

“Since my first night here.”  You looked around the foyer with wide eyes, trying to take everything in, still in shock that this had been going on for decades and almost no one knew.  Ahkmenrah tapped your shoulder and you turned to face Ahkmenrah again.  He pulled you to the side of the room.  “Y/N, I just want to apologize again.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright,” You assured him.  “I’m sorry I threatened you with pepper spray.”  You said awkwardly.

“No, it’s fine!”  He exclaimed.  “But I must say, you are quite the dancer.”  You blushed heavily.  He noticed and laughed.  “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you’re really good.”  He reassured you.  You smiled shyly, and he smiled too.  After a few moments of silence, Ahkmenrah spoke again.  “Would you like to dance, Y/N?”  In all honesty, you’d love nothing more, but your thoughts strayed back to the half-finished pile of work lying on the table in the locker room.  “I’d love to,” His face brightened. “But,” His face fell.   “I still have a lot of work I need to finish.  I’m sorry, Ahkmenrah.”  He thought for a moment, before getting an idea. 

“Alright, first of all, call me Ahk. Second of all, would it be alright if I stayed with you while you finish your work?”  You smiled and nodded, your heart fluttering once more. 

“That sounds great.”

Thanks to intergalacticsmith and robotharrie for requesting this one!


In response to the DSOD prompt you shared through messenger.


If anyone believed Kaiba to be a man who easily gave up, then that didn’t know him well. In fact, it’d be fair to say that they lived underneath a rock or like Kaiba himself, had lived in Ancient Egypt.

While his first duel against Atem had predictable results (him losing), Kaiba wasn’t just going to leave Atem or Ancient Egypt until he had bested Atem in a duel and healed the wounds that the Pharaoh had inflicted on his pride.

So, Kaiba stayed and day after day, he had convinced Atem to duel against him. Each day came with the exact same results and at this point, the Pharaoh’s subjects had grown used to Kaiba’s disturbance and tried to hide their amusement at their Pharaoh’s predicament with this strange man from a distant land.

After shared words in private, High Priest Seto took it upon himself to approach his reincarnation and explain to him that he couldn’t best their Pharaoh or choose to want to. Their Pharaoh had to be the best because he had a nation to defend and if Kaiba won against Atem, then this news would travel like wildfire and Egypt’s foes would circle in and threaten their beautiful nation.

Hesitantly, Kaiba agreed. If for no other reason than he missed his home in modern day Domino and the people he knew, like his little brother and even… the nerd patrol.

The damage Atem had inflicted on his pride was something that would not so easily disappear and maybe… Kaiba would need to find another way to deal with it…

With Mahad’s help, Kaiba found his way home to modern day Domino and now was standing out in the open on some random street in the rain…

The Pharaoh who Eloped with Death

Will was having a lot of fun, actually. Some would think presiding over the entire Ancient Egyptian civilisation as their Pharaoh would be something he’d avoid, but it was pretty amusing. He got burnt offerings daily, took a cleansing religious bath in his own honour, and then got to look hot in kohl eyeliner, a dress skirt and gold jewellery. The only problem he had was the royal butt-wiper constantly hovering around to… well, the name spoke for itself.

Will leaned back in his throne, thinking about fruit and which ones he might like today. Eating the real thing was so much better than getting high off its fumes.

You see, the current Pharaoh of Egypt wasn’t really what everyone thought he was. Or, he was exactly what they thought he was. It was really confusing.

Egyptians believed that their Pharaoh was a manifestation of the god Horus, and so he was treated as such. Will could confirm however, that they were no such thing. The mortal men and women who’d preceded him were just that – mortal. Now Will, Will was the real deal. It wasn’t every century that the god of the sun came down to earth for a spin in the chair of the privileged.

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