the person of the year

sherlocks-freebitch  asked:

IMPENDING SODOMY GAZE ilysm *applauds wildly*

Highly disappointed in the wig but I still have time to figure that out! It started out with me just buying the glasses and socks at a Halloween store then we went to a thrift store and the shirt and skirt literally jumped out at us!! Clearly it needs some work but I was too excited not to try it on 😂😂

Part 1 of the Halloween outfit

i really love doing tarot & pendulum readings but the moment it comes to doing readings for me ive now become so hesitant about it because as much as i believe in it i sometimes just want to make my own destiny and im not looking for advice right now . im scared i’ll ask about the future and i wont get the answer i want because why should i ask about it if i enjoy it so much right now

today in class, presenting the fake tv personalities everyone came up with, a classmate started a sentence “she’s transitioning -” and my head snapped up in sudden interest,

“– from the latin-american market to american TV,” she concludes, and i settle my dumb ass back down and dont bring up later that my own tv-persona is trans

The learning never stops.

I had my exam today. And I did good. I managed to know more than half comfortably, and some more were educated guesses. And a few more were plain old guessing.

And… that’s what I aimed for. I wanted to pass and I did manage to do just that. But, I couldn’t shake this feeling of disappointment in myself. I kept thinking that maybe I should have revised the anatomy one more time or looked at the pathology of that disease one last time. I don’t know, I was just disappointed I didn’t do more. I could have easily answered 10 more questions easily had I revised those topics another time. And I generally felt like crap.

After a bit of moping, I talked to my friends and I convinced myself out of it. And I realized, had I done everything there would still be things I couldn’t answer easily, there would still be idiotic questions that would test my power of recalling irrelevant minutiae more than my prowess at medical management and clinical skills. And that can suck. It does, even after 4 years of suffering through this.

That’s what’s so equally wonderful, and sucky, about this profession, about medicine! I wish I could use better words but good god it sucks! The amount of information you can know, and should know, is huge. Crazy huge. The only way you can really pass a psychiatry or surgery or neurology exam with like 90%+ correct is if you have been practicing for several years in that field. Because you’re pretty familiar. But even that is a maybe.

We, as med students, try our best to study and learn as much as we can, to the best of our abilities, and in the time that we have. We do our best to know the pathology behind every disease, how to go about managing it, how a patient would present themselves, etc. And you can do it all really well, but there is still going to be things you don’t know.

From your first year of med school, no matter how excruciatingly hard it is, you learn to live with the fact that you will not know everything. Or that you can’t possibly manage to study everything possible and get that A, like you did as a premed or in high school.

Gradually, you realize you aren’t learning for the As or pass (you kinda are, though) but there’s more to it. You are learning because you will be a doctor, who will have the responsibility of someone’s life in their hands. And studying pathology, medicine, pharm, anatomy and all of that is how you will accomplish that. Even if it means you getting by a pass in exams. What really counts, I tell myself, is that I learned.

This post was for me to look back if I ever feel like this again. To tell myself that it’s okay. It’s normal. Just remember to always do your best, and the rest will be fine. Truly.

sometimes i think im overreacting and i dont have The Disorder at all but then i re-read the diagnostic criteria and its a personal fucking drag


Cities & Moods: Tübingen, Germany 

Es blüht das fernste, tiefste Tal:  Nun, armes Herz, vergiß der Qual!
Even the deepest, most distant valley is in flower. Now, poor heart, forget your torment. (Ludwig Uhland, Frühlingsglaube) 

inspired by the wonderful moodboards by lovely @expatesque:)