the person he defines himself by

9

SG Character Project - Stargate SG-1 - Jack O’Neill - Key Episodes

Disclaimer: These are just a few of the characters key episodes. Each one was chosen based on my own opinions and feelings. You may disagree with me. That’s fine. I had a hard time narrowing down 200 episodes to just 9. I looked for episodes which showed key features of their personality, key moments in their past that defined them, and moments that led to character development. 

  • Losing Skaara, who was like a second son to him, became the reason he joins the SGC.
  • His family and losing both Sara and Charlie are what ultimately put in on the path he’s on
  • He is a soldier first and foremost and that comes with it’s own challenges
  • His love of children and desire to protect childhood innocence in people
  • His humor
  • Sacrificing himself in order to save others
  • Struggling with he burden of command and finding out how to make it his own.

anonymous asked:

Being disabled myself, I really like that Gherman is missing a leg and is bound to a wheelchair, yet still rises to fight you as the final and greatest opponent, especially as the first hunter. It's a good representation in my eyes that even with the odds against him with his body, he was still a master of his craft and duty and inspired generations for years to come in fighting the beastly scourge.

The Soulsborne franchise is really good at this. Characters with disabilities or deformities are portrayed in a very respectful way and they are not defined by their defects. The blind saints of Carim are holy women capable of teaching miracles, Lorian demonstrates courage and compassion in willingly sacrificing himself for the sake of his brother, the Chapel Dweller is the kindest and most selfless character around etc.

Gehrman is a polarizing character for most people. Some adore him while others can’t stand the guy. Personally, I think he’s the most complex and deep character not just in Bloodborne but in the entire series (I am not joking) and his peg leg is not an ‘ornamental’ thing or something that the designers gave him just ‘to make things even more depressing’. It is actually lovely woven into his story and into the role he plays in the game. They used it as a symbol of his captivity (Moon Presence ‘steals’ the Good Hunter’s leg too if he or she replaces Gehrman) but also of his determination and pride as a Hunter. As you said, he stands up because no matter how tired and exhausted by the unending cycle of the Dream he may be, his will is still strong.  He stands up almost defiantly, because he knows he was, and still is, the very best™, the one who started it all and now that the Hunter has become as wise and skilled as he, it’s HIS duty to test them, because only someone stronger than him could stand a chance of ending the cycle of the Hunt.

Religious and philosophical views of Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein’s religious views have been widely studied and often misunderstood. Einstein stated that he believed in the pantheistic God of Baruch Spinoza. He did not believe in a personal God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings, a view which he described as naïve. He clarified however that, “I am not an atheist”, preferring to call himself an agnostic,  or a “religious nonbeliever." When asked if he believed in an afterlife, Einstein replied, "No. And one life is enough for me.”

Einstein responded to a question about whether or not he defined himself as a pantheist. He explained:

Your question is the most difficult in the world. It is not a question I can answer simply with yes or no. I’m not an atheist, and I don’t think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understand these laws. Our limited minds grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations. I am fascinated by Spinoza’s pantheism, but admire even more his contribution to modern thought because he is the first philosopher to deal with the soul and body as one, and not two separate things

He also stated

I believe in Spinoza’s God, who reveals himself in the harmony of all that exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fate and the doings of mankind.

(Source)

Steven's not Cookie Cat, Lars is

Lars being killed, then resurrected and turned into the same magical being that lion is has been hinted at since the very first episode of Steven Universe. It’s been in front of our eyes this whole time.

Lets first look at the Lyrics for cookie cat and analyze it:

Oh, he’s a frozen treat with an all new taste

Cause he came to this planet from outer space

Lars attitude completely changed once he was on the ship, and on homeworld. From admitting his cowardly ways, to standing up for himself, protecting his friends, and showing his appreciation for everything he didn’t appreciate before. “Frozen treat with an all new taste” symbolizing his cold attitude before, with who he is now.

“A refugee of an interstellar world

But now he’s at your local grocery store”

A refugee is defined as a person who has been forced to leave their home. Lars was taken from his home, unlike Steven who surrendered himself.

Cookie Cat

He’s a pet for your tummy

Cookie Cat

He’s super duper yummy

Cookie Cat

He left his family behind

Cookie Caaat!

“He left his family behind”, yes both Steven and Lars did leave their families behind. But Lars didn’t willingly leave his family behind like Steven did. Steven left his family behind to protect them. Steven probably feels a great satisfaction knowing that he’s not the cause for his family’s danger anymore. Lars probably feels more torn, and upset by leaving his family behind. A family he didn’t appreciate before. Also Lars seems to feel guilt for leaving Sadie behind when he could have protected her. So I feel this applies more to Lars then steven.

Now lets look at the first ever scene in the series:

the scene starts off with Steven yelling no! And his dramatic reaction to the loss of his beloved Cookie Cat ice cream.

then proceeds to Steven being in denial claiming that it “has to be a dream”. So why so dramatic over ice cream? Because it’s not about ice cream. The scene symbolizes lars’s death in the recent episode off colors.

Steven calls out for Lars.

holds him, and continues to mourn for the loss of his Cookie Cat. So why hold Lars? Someone who obviously is busy stocking, and clearly rejects his affections. It’s because Steven holding him tightly hints at the recent events that just unfolded in the previous released episode.

Then the next frame Lars addresses that cookie cats have been replaced with Lion lickers. I believe this hints at Lars (Cookie Cat) changing into the same magical being that lion is (being represented as Lion Lickers)

I’d like to point out in the next frame that Lars describes cookie cats as “wimpy” which is particularly odd that he chose that adjective to describe cookie cats. He could have said stupid, lame, gross, etc. any typical insult. He chose “wimpy” how does Lars see himself? Lars does not view himself in very positive ways. He does see himself as a coward, scared, everything that a wimp is.

Lars continues to say “why don’t you make some with your “magic belly button”. Which I also find odd to some extent. Being that we needed to address Steven, and his gem origin at some point in the episode, but why would Lars address it in that way? Why is Lars the first to address Steven’s gem, and gem abilities? Not someone else? Someone with better understanding of gems? I might be reading a little bit into this, but I think this is foreshadowing Steven healing Lars much like Lars is claiming that Steven heals Cookie Cat, and bring cookie cat back with his “magic belly button”. Much like Steven does with Lars. Reviving Lars after he died with his magical healing powers.

Next Steven describes cookie cat as having a crunchy exterior, which sounds like who? Lars pretends to be tough, and have a rough exterior to impress people like the cool kids. Which also goes into his style. His tough-looking graphic tees, his edgy haircut, even his gauges. I believe he does all of this to make him look tough. So that he can “fit in” and look cool to the cool kids.

Then Steven describes cookie cat have a creamy inside. Much like Lars who plays it off like he’s this cool tough guy, but inside he’s this soft, pampered kid with a loving family, who loves to bake. Who has genuine feelings that he tries to hide for people. Who cares, and has more bottled up emotions than anyone could have figured.

Then Steven brings it back to mourning of his cookie cat. Claiming that cookie cat was “too good for this world”. Why so much emphasis on the loss of cookie cat? Why so dramatic? Why make it seem so literal for the death of cookie cat? It’s because cookie cat is really just Lars.

Also id like to point out cookie cats mixed colored eyes. Something about that reminds me of Lars’s scar over his eye.

anonymous asked:

Hey Hector. Sorry if this is a bother, but I'm new to the BMC fandom and just wanted to ask if there is anything I should know/keep in mind in case I start writing fics or creating fan art.

Hey Anon! It’s not a bother at all! Here are a few things you should know!! Welcome to the fandom!!

FANART

  • Christine is not white
  • Michael is not white
  • Lots of people like to draw Michael with a little mole above the left side of his mouth. This was started by @cryptidsp00n
  • Lots of people like to draw Rich with freckles, a tooth gap, and a red streak in his hair. None of these are canon in the musical, although Rich’s red streak is canon in the book. The freckles and tooth gap were started by @richardgoranski
  • these last two were honestly completely optional. its all up to you buddy!!
  • Lots of people like to draw Michael with a gay pride patch on the higher end of his left sleeve. This is essentially canon, and I would advise you most of all to not leave this out. George Salazar (the guy who played Michael) actually tweeted about it, which the fandom interprets to mean that it’s canon that Michael is gay. So honestly I’d advise against ignoring it, although it’s honestly cool if you leave it out m’dude. its your art. The gay pride patch was started by @gayradwhitedad
  • Don’t draw Jenna skinny!!! She’s played by Katie Ladner, who is not skinny!! 
  • Michael’s patches can be done completely canon, as shown in that link. however, everyone seems to have their own patch headcanons for him. ((hmu if you wanna see how i draw his sweatshirt lmao))
  • A lot of things are left up to interpretation!! Is Jeremy taller than Michael?? not canonically, but I love short Michael! Does Jake have frosted tips? Not canonically, but I love frosted Jakey D!
  • As long as you respect skin tones and body types, whatever you want to make is cool!!! Experiment, be free!!

FANFICTION

  • Jeremy is Jewish!! Even if he celebrates Christmas, which some Jewish people do, just bear in mind that he is! not! christian!
  • Christine has ADD, but not ADHD!! she says she has ADD, which is related to ADHD, but not the same thing. ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder, which means she has a hard time focusing on one thing for an extended period of time. ADHD is Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, which means that someone has a hard time paying attention and/or sitting still for extended periods of time. yes, they’re similar, but not synonymous.   
  • Rich is bi!!
  • The girls have just as complex personalities as the boys. please give as much care to developing them as you do to the guys.
  • Chloe did a lot of fucked up things. look out for that. font make her a sweet baby. she doesn’t deserve that.
  • Friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, and can be just as good and interesting!!
  • Jake’s parents are not around, they’re on the run from the law! he has to look after himself, my dudes.
  • the squip is horrible and abusive. it makes Jeremy feel like shit. it tells him that they need to change everything about him because its all awful. it is both emotionally and physically abusive. Both Jeremy and Rich probably suffer from ptsd
  • try to branch out!! as great as boyf riends, richjake, and pinkberry are, also look into things like Jeremy’s relationship with his father, Chloe’s redemption arc (bc she needs redeeming lmao) and even other ships, like deere and expensive headphones :00 while they may not be the main ships of the fandom, they’re all super cute and (i cant find a link rip) Joe Tracz actually said that Rich and Michael would go to prom together!!
  • Michael is comfortable in his own skin!! Ye, he has social anxiety. But he doesn’t hate himself!! One of the defining factors of his personality is that he’s okay with who he is!! There are all kinds of anxiety, and don’t write him as self-hating!! its totally out of character for him :0
  • have fun, dude. be careful, and do your research if you’re writing about tricky topics like eating disorders, abuse, and anxiety. But most of all, just enjoy yourself. as long as you’re respectful, there should be no issues!! 

Feel free to shoot me an ask about any of this, or if you have any questions about if something’s cool to include in fanfic or not! I won’t tell you exactly what you can and cant write/draw, but I will try to nudge you in the right direction! Of course, only if you ask me to!! Anyone can message me about this stuff anytime, I love to help and suggest things!! I’m not scary I promise!!

SEVENTEEN THEORIES (UPDATED! - S. Coups)

Okay, so my twin and I have come up with theories to Seventeen’s comeback.

We all understand that the concept revolves around the idea of fears and being alone. We see in all the videos an introduction to this fear and by the end of the trailer, they acknowledge these fear. 

So we think…

Vernon: His fear could be wandering aimlessly, unsure of his path. He just walks around, letting time pass by him. He acknowledges this fear by continuing to use that compass until he finds someone familiar to him.

Jeonghan: His fear could be his image or his image in front of the camera/media. It could be that he takes photos because he has an image in his mind of how things look to him, but the outside world may not view his perspective the same. Through media, that can be altered and it can shine a different light on an artist. By facing his fear, he leaves the comfort of the home. By doing this, he accepts how the world is going to view him.

Mingyu: His fear could be related to having this incomplete half to himself. We see him alone, but everything is in two like he once had someone who shared the same similarities and now he feels responsible for filling this void. We could take it another way. We also see a disconnect, especially in the scenes with a mirror. It may portray a disconnect between what he feels inside and what he sees on the outside. I can see this in Mingyu since he often feels uncomfortable with his body. Mingyu faces his fear by finally taking a step back and away from the mirror, almost saying that he will no longer let his physical features define him.

DK: His fear could be not improving. We see his running pace remain the same, and then he eventually drops the timer. DK would be the type of person to always strive to be better and to always work to improve, and not being able to accomplish that can haunt him. By dropping that timer, he allows himself to improve at his own pace without the stress of a physical and materialistic goal.

Woozi: His fear could be related to his talents, his brains. It looks as though he’s trapped in a library, like all this knowledge is kept inside, unable to be shown to the world or appreciated by the world. He may be afraid to share the world his talents.

Jun: He is surrounded by memories. His fear could be that this brotherhood he has with the others will eventually be lost and all he has left to fill this empty space are the memories. He’s afraid to get in touch when a long time has passed since we hear Jisoo’s voice from a voice mail. He faces this fear by finally going out and visit. 

Dino: We see him land on the space “turn to the first space.” This could signify his fear of starting from scratch when they have already put so much work into their team and their music. We see him continue to roll the die like he’s waiting for a new fate, but every time he ends up with the same number that landed him there. This correlates with the “seventeen project 2017” they are portraying, that they are starting over with a re-debut with this new and improved group.

Wonwoo: The fear shown in his teaser is boredom and disinterest. We see him at the beginning staring at a blank wall as he steps out in the hallway. He also see him looking out the window and often sitting and contemplating. He picks up the TV remote, but he just flips through the channels, unable to pick something that interests him. We hear cheering, like fans clapping and cheering but his facial expressions don’t change. He could be afraid of no longer finding interest in what he does, or he could be afraid of fans no longer be interested. But it looks to be resolved as the scene ends with him settling on a channel showing the very place where we found Vernon wandering to. 

Hoshi: Another hard one! He’s waiting for a phone call, but we don’t know what the other line of the phone is saying. The environment in the room changes to something cold when he answers the phone. But after he hangs up the first time, he calls the number on the piece of paper. His fear could be receiving and relaying bad news to others. We see him struggle when he opens the piece of paper with the phone number on it, but he continues to call anyways almost showing us the urgency and importance of the message he received. 

Seungkwan: Money. Money is anybody’s dream and nightmare. We see Seungkwan twirling a coin in his hand. This could signify fear of being greedy, or it could signify his fear of not being able to provide. Either one, we see him accept this has he leaves the coins on the counter of the laundromat. 

The8: Minghao’s fear could be being left. We see him arrive at this home with groceries. When he arrives, no one is home to greet him. We see a note on the kitchen counter where it is obvious for someone to see. When he reads it, we see devastation in his face. This could be that a significant other had left him. We don’t see much of a resolution of Minghao’s fear, but we see DK arrive in time to comfort him. We also see the spinning magic 8 ball, which is suppose to determine your luck, and Minghao happened to get the short end of the stick. 

Joshua: His was sooo hard omg. He could be afraid of betrayal. It could him betraying someone/the group, or it could be someone betraying him. We see in the water that one of the two people puts their hand on the other person’s shoulder and then walks away. He washes his face, almost showing discomfort and irritation and then we see him walking in the hallway only for him to turn back towards the camera. 

S. Coups: Coups fear may have to do with going in circles, or lacking direction in general. We see him walking and then he stops to turn around. He continues to walk around only with signs all around him saying “Wrong Way.” When he finally does decide to move forward, he keeps circling the block. This could signify his fear the team going forward, but keep going in circles, or not finding a path to improvement. 


They’re alone to show how each member has their own, unique fear. They all experience it differently. With members shown at the end of the clip, it suggests that no matter how often their fears come and no matter how small they may be, “even though you’re being alone, remember we are on your side and don’t be afraid of all the fears you have.”

We see a cycle through the thirteen boys and it finally ends with leader S. Coups. His lines at the end of his video are more special. 

“I was afraid and anxious since I was all alone.” This is representative of all of the boys’ fears because we see them all tackle these fears alone. 

“Nevertheless we met on thirteen paths and eventually.” This ties in why the all showed up in each others videos. It shows that though they came from different places, different worlds, different opportunities, all of their paths eventually crossed. 

“A complete bond has formed leading us to our brightest moment.” We see that S. Coups finally meets with Jeonghan, bringing all of the videos in full cycle. This shows that together, they will be their best. 

The Specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy

Note on the text: when I use Straight (with a capital S, I mean heteroromantic, heterosexual, cisgender, and perisex; straightness with the full power of heteronormativity)

Upon checking my tumblr activity feed earlier today, I found myself ungraciously reminded of a stock character aphobes use to try to exclude aromantic people from the LGBTQ+ community:

Chad the Aro Fratboy

I will explain how aphobes use this character, and how the assumptions behind him rely on aphobes’ using heteronormative assumptions.

Chad the Aro Fratboy, as used by aphobes, is assumed to be acting like any insensitive Straight man. Aphobes use him as a shorthand to say things like “including aros includes too many people” or “aromantic people are heartless assholes.” I’m sure they prefer that the recipients of such messages choose whichever one hurts them most.

Chad the Aro Fratboy, in aphobes’ use, likes to fuck women and not call the next day, and claims this makes him part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Why this is bullshit:

1) Let’s consider Chad A, a fratboy who doesn’t experience romantic attraction, but is sexually attracted to women. Because we live in a heteronormative society, he will most likely think he is straight. And because the straight guy who sleeps with women but doesn’t get romantically attached is a trope that exists in society entirely separately from aromanticism, Chad A may very well identify as straight all his life and never examine his orientation more closely. Chad A doesn’t identify with the LGBTQ+ community and so isn’t part of the LGBTQ+ community.

(Aside: Based on my experience, our society is so heteronormative, and Straight privilege is so strong, that it is far more likely for people to have thoughts and experiences that could quite logically lead them to consider themselves not Straight, but still define themselves as Straight, than for people who have thoughts and experiences that align with Straightness to look for ways to be considered LGBTQ+.)

Back to Chad A. Chad A, who, thanks to the third person omniscient viewpoint, we know as aromantic heterosexual, happens to be in an environment that leads him not to question his orientation at all. (This is today’s society. There is no widespread encouragement of questioning.) Chad A never identifies as anything but straight, doesn’t attempt to enter the LGBTQ+ community, and so what he could identify as if he questioned himself is a moot point.

2) Now let’s consider Chad B. Chad B has become familiar enough with LGBTQ+ terminology to know what aromanticism is, and based on his understanding of himself, has decided to self-identify as aromantic.

Aphobes who deny aromanticism exists will say that Chad B is doing this to have an excuse not to call women after having sex with them. However, this jerk behavior (not calling women back who want to be called back) is a well-known straight trope. Chad B using his aromanticism as an excuse—well, honestly, I find that laughable. Chad B identifying as aromantic is not the easiest excuse. If Chad B wanted to give the easiest excuse, he would fall back on the straight trope of men just not caring about the women they have sex with that much after having sex with them. Everyone knows how that trope goes because it’s 1,000,000 times more likely to show up in a movie than a self-identified aromantic character. If Chad B isn’t a jerk and communicates to his partners that he’s aromantic and doesn’t want this to be a romantic thing, he’s not making an excuse. He’s setting himself up to give a vocab lesson.

*

But maybe I’m attacking this issue from the wrong angle.

I mean, aromanticism is the absence of romantic attraction. That’s all. Aros are no less likely to form other forms of deep attachment than non-aros. Whether Chad A or Chad B is going to be a jerk isn’t really the center of all this.

The specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy relies on the heteronormative idea that Chad is heterosexual in addition to being aromantic, and the sexist assumption that there aren’t any women who would be glad to have a sexual but not romantic relationship. The truth is, if Chad identifies as aro, he could be heterosexual, but he could also be gay, bi, or pan. (I lived a block down from a frat once that had “we’ve got straight guys/we’ve got gay guys/we’ve got guys that swing both ways” included in the lyrics to their particular frat’s drinking song.) And if Chad is clear with his sexual partners about what he expects to develop from the encounter, as I think would be ideal no matter the orientations of any of those about to rock, then, well, what would be the complaint? That he told his sexual partners the truth and they didn’t believe him and that’s Chad’s fault for being aromantic? That chain of logic doesn’t haul anything unless you just hate Chad.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobe trope insults aromantic people by implying that they will be less clear in their expectations regarding a sexual encounter than non-aros.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobe trope insults aros by implying that those who identify as aro haven’t done a lot of thinking about their orientation.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobes trope reveals a disconnect from reality in the intercommunity conflict on aphobes’ part. Out in brickspace, no one’s claiming a LGBTQ+ identity to get into LGBTQ+ spaces. If Chad wanted to, idk, hit on all the poor bi and pan women at the campus LGBTQ+ club meeting, he wouldn’t have to give up his Straight privilege to do so. He could call himself an ally.

There are no real Chad the Aro Fratboys as aphobes try to hinder arospec inclusion with. The trope only serves to display aphobes’ nasty assumptions about aros.

I just read the comments on a Ron positive post and I’m so confused.

‘I don’t hate Ron I hate Ronmione’ idk but I’ve never heard of a legit reason to hate them and most are centred on hating Ron.

‘Ron is a lightly grey character for the selfish way he acts’ I can’t even, ron opens his family to Harry when they are poor and really do not need another person to support. I do not see how that can be defined as lightly grey.

‘We hate him because we have friends who have pulled a Ron’ oh? Friends who are willing to sacrifice themselves for you at age 11? Lucky you.

'Ron abandoned Harry and Ron far too many times’ I’ve never heard far too many referred to as twice before.

'Ron made Harry and Hermione choose between himself and the other friend’ I honestly don’t think he did this once!? When he wasn’t talking to Harry in GOF it appears he was still talking to Hermione and in HBP we know he continued his relationship with Harry and Harry continued his relationship with Hermione and we never once heard him make an ultimatum on the issue.

'Abandoning them in the hurcrux hunt is just the icing on the cake of why I hate him’ I’m sorry that he struggled so much while wearing a Horcrux that he had a moment of doubt and then as specified in the book tried to come back straight away but couldn’t. It is also made clear that Hermione was having similar thoughts and had been talking with Ron about them, but where did Hermione have to go? Idk man, I understand that split second reaction when your worry is being down played by your best friends.

So anyway, I’ve never seen a legit reason to hate Ron.

so recently i made a hella long thread on why otabek and yuri are so important for each other + how beka is also yura’s agape, and now i’m migrating it here bc i love character studies // @otayuriwriterscollective


my friend linked me to this otayuri on ice vid on facebook and i got to thinking about how important they are for each other as people and as skaters because they are, and especially in yura’s case because beka is actually another form of agape in his life

think about otabek altin, thirteen years old, in a country that is not home, struggling so hard to keep up; otabek who was forced to come to terms w a bitter truth that he has no flexibility, no inherent grace and elegance; whose execution and technique are far from perfect. how alone and out of place does he feel in a ballet training camp, knowing he can’t do these things? how frustrated at himself and at the people around him, how angry – if he wants to skate (and he does, he really does) these are things he has to do… and he cannot. 

and then he sees yura: strong, proud and ambitious yura, who has the technique he envies, the grace and style he covets, who isolates himself with his attitude & talent; he sees yura, and maybe beka falls a little bit in love. maybe he decides that he wants to stay on the ice, so he can cross paths with this boy again someday. 

and beka takes himself to canada, to america, across a whole ocean just to keep skating – to find a way he can skate that suits him, that will take him where he wants to go; to prove there’s more than one way to skate, to win.  and always in the back of his mind is that boy with sunshine hair and fierce eyes; he keeps up with yura, watches him win, lets that fuel him to keep going, keep skating: one day they will meet on the ice, and he’s going to be ready with a challenge (and maybe a confession). because beka has never doubted that yura will go far, that yura will be something great, and otabek wants to be able to stand on equal ground when they do meet; he wants yura to see him, not just walk by at another competition, yura’s eyes on someone else, yura not knowing he exists.

and yura? brash and uncertain yura, so insecure, so desperate for validation (refer to this thread for a discussion of yura’s character) –  just like his grandfather, yura finds his agape in beka, because beka’s love and admiration are just that: unconditional. they aren’t predicated on anything other than yura, aren’t reliant on the perfection of his skating, on the image the other person has of him. beka sees yura as just yura: talented, insecure, uncertain, determined, and ambitious. and beka loves all of it. he doesn’t want to mold yura into something else – not a prima ballerina, not an angel, not a fairy, not another viktor nikiforov. when yura comes to him on the night before the exhibition skate, with his ideas, asking for his help, beka just smiles and says: that’s the yuri plisetsky i want to see – the image of yuri that yuri himself determines; young, tempestuous, unbridled, and strong. the way yuri wants to define himself. beka faces yura and gives him the acknowledgment and validation he’s been asking for all his life, something that no one – not viktor, yuuri, yakov, lilia – has never quite given him.

beka takes him seriously. and more than that, beka sees everything of him and loves him anyway. even goes along with his outrageous skate idea.

and even the way beka confesses: yuri plisetsky had the unforgettable eyes of a soldier; acknowledging that strength, that struggle,   and echoing it in his own journey, the way he has fought tooth & nail for every scrap of talent, pushed himself past everything to stand where the world will acknowledge his skating, where he can prove there are more ways to fight on the ice.

for the first time yuri has someone who sees him as an equal and not as someone to be used (ahem viktor), as someone to be molded into something else, as someone not quite enough; and yura is beka’s inspiration, because beka wants to meet yura on equal terms on and off the ice.

and i love how they show each other off, look for each other on the ice, search each other out, trust each other; i love how beka doesn’t mind that yura’s preoccupied with himself and doesn’t quite return his obvious admiration in equal measure; i love how beka lets yura explore and just be his age, be himself, without asking for anything in return; and i love how yura lets himself be uncertain and vulnerable with beka, be a little weak, be honest of his own initiative.

and beka gets that right now yura’s still frustrated from the gpf, still figuring out himself and his own emotions, and so he’s fine with yura not reciprocating or even realizing beka’s feelings, bc he’s admired yura for 5 years and now he gets the chance to stand beside this boy and yura sees him – that is more than enough, for now, for him, and he will simply be there for yura and let yura be honest, be insecure, be himself. and yura loves him for that (and perhaps for something more)

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for writing dirkjake? A lot of writers can't really capture their relationship as well as you do

ok I’m going to write like a million words about dirkjake get ready

I think firstly with DirkJake there’s just core differences in how different fans interpret the characters and relationship from the very foundation. The way fanon is so established for like 10 different versions of Dirk and Jake individually followed by at least 3 different common ways for their dynamic to be interpreted… it all leads to a shit ton of variance in what you get when any given writer decides to write a DirkJake fic. 

I guess for me, the main things to get “my” flavor of the relationship, what I try to focus on: 

1. Dirk as a complex character primarily defined by his overwhelming constant internal state of anxiety filtered through the fucking pinhole of his exterior facade. So like. Dirk is a character that wants and needs and feels so many things, but never wants to express any of it because he is terrified that expressing all the shit going on behind the mask will drive people away from him either in disgust or terror. Dirk is a person who is constantly afraid that he is becoming the worst version of himself and constantly unable to talk about that because if people understood what the worst version of himself was capable of they wouldn’t even want to be associated with the current version of him, who is trying so fucking hard not to be that. And because from Dirk’s perspective he’s “hiding” the reality of who he is from everyone he cares about (Dirk has a VERY FUCKING LOW opinion of himself) he’s in a sense manipulating them via lying by omission. Dirk thinks he is responsible for everything bad and other people are responsible for everything good and therefore other people have no sense associating with him at all. Dirk is trapped inside his own goddamn head 100% of the time when left to his own devices and WILL destroy himself if allowed to do so. 

His stuff is a mirror of Dave’s, with one huge difference: Dave hides everything because he’s afraid everyone will think less of him for being so soft – he’s afraid of the harm they might do to HIM, emotionally. His facade is protecting himself. Dirk hides everything because he’s afraid of the harm that DIRK might do to THEM. His facade is (from his perspective) protecting everyone else (from him.)

You’ll notice I didn’t mention anime, puppets, horses. Yeah. Moving on. 

2. Jake is ALSO a complex character primarily defined by his overwhelming need to avoid conflict and downplay his struggles with being hugely introverted in favor of projecting an idealized version of himself worthy of his own grand destiny. Jake is primarily concerned with JAKE’S own comfort, and this selfishness leaks in to the way he conducts all his relationships – Roxy is spot on when she says that Jake is an asshole, but he doesn’t MEAN to be an asshole, he’s just… Jake. Jake is simultaneously really easy to take advantage of (because he will always defer to the easiest route if possible – Jake calls himself a man of action but he would almost ALWAYS prefer to do nothing if he can get away with it) and also really good at manipulating people because everyone underestimates him. Jake is SMART. He just often downplays his own intelligence because he’s terrified of failure. He walks this line between being perceived as capable but not being perceived as TOO capable, because he wants to put out a specific persona without ever being called on to act in a way befitting of that persona. Like, wearing the costume is easy but walking the walk is hard, right?

Jake wants to be the hero and also wants to be the damsel but ONLY for the fun parts because the rest is hard and feels bad and is awful and sucks. He wants to skip from the Inciting Incident of a story to the Hero’s Triumph and then to the Happy Conclusion without experiencing ANY of the tumult or conflict or setbacks in between. He wants people to understand him without having to express himself because that’s hard. 

His stuff is a mirror Jane’s, one again a major difference: Jane bottles things up because she wants to appear effective and actively be relied upon to do great things – which she is confident in her ability to do and eager to inherit. Jake bottles things up and meticulously avoids difficult things because he wants to appear technically capable of effectiveness but doesn’t actually want people to call upon him or depend on him. He is NOT confident in himself or his own abilities and intelligence. Jane wants everyone to want and need her, she thrives on being the center of attention in a room. Jake thinks about being the center of attention in a room and wants to die. 

I would never ever ever use the words “cinnamon roll” to refer to Jake English. So yep. Moving on. 

3. the DirkJake relationship is a story about two boys who have been in love with each other basically their entire lives, except they grew into a pair of maladjusted unsocialized messes with zero emotional intelligence and oh, yeah, also one is a huge fucking introvert pretending to be an extrovert and the other is a desperate fucking extrovert pretending to be an introvert and WOW IS THAT A RECIPE FOR DISASTER. Especially when they immediately torch all their other relationships and have no one to ground them or pull them back or otherwise vent or express themselves to ON TOP OF all the other personal baggage each is working through throughout the alpha session. 

And I personally take an optimistic view of it, which is, these boys have loved each other their entire lives, they aren’t going to stop now, but they are going to have to learn to work through the myriad fucking issues I outlined above in healthy ways with the help of ALL their friends and family and it will be difficult but ultimately successful and rewarding and their eventual relationship with each other will be one where each feels respected and fulfilled and no longer afraid of horribly disappointing (best case) or utterly destroying (worst case) the other. 

I like to think toward and write them toward an eventuality where Jake is no longer afraid that he isn’t capable of loving Dirk as much as Dirk loves him just because he feels and expresses the emotion differently, and Dirk is no longer afraid that Jake is just humoring him or that Jake’s inability to be in full social mode 100% of the time means he’s getting or gotten over him in full, forever. Also, where Jake is no longer afraid that Dirk will judge him or feel full on disdain for the fact that Jake actually really doesn’t want to deal with the realities of a hero’s journey and just kinda wants to chill and have fun instead of being effective and heroic 100% of the time, and Dirk is no longer afraid that Jake will come apart like a wet paper towel at the merest hint of exposure to his actual innermost self and feelings. 

And that’s my big rant about the stuff I try to keep in mind when I write DirkJake even though like 70% of it is just smut like honestly what the fuck

Post war AU where Slughorn asks his 8th year class to write on a piece of parchment their personal definition of love before he shows them how to brew the proper amorentia, and Draco is flustered because he doesn’t know what it’s like.

That evening, he doesn’t return to his dorm and spends the night by the black lake, staring off into space and drowning himself in his thoughts yet again. Although this time, he hopes for at least a single thought on love to surface.
There is none.

Draco then becomes frustrated because shouldn’t he know this? Shouodn’t he know how to define such a simple and common emotion?
Didn’t he know love?

This only frustrates Draco even more, and the soft glow of moonlight highlighting his mark does not help him one bit. He picks up a rock in anger and throws it into the lake, screaming a release.

“I know I should be respecting your privacy, but could you keep it down?” a voice interrupts his stupor.

It’s Potter.
Draco scoffs.
Great. Just what he needed.
He was irritated. Potter wasn’t supposed to be here. No one was supposed to be here. But then again, he was too drained to even argue, so he obliged.

Silence filled the air for a few moments, until Harry decided to speak up. At first Draco was reluctant, but he eventually gave into Harry’s attempt to start a conversation. Besides, they weren’t really enemies anymore. They’ve moved past that, and it was a mutual agreement.

Surprisingly, they end up spending the remaining hours of the night talking.
It felt good, Draco had to admit. It felt good to talk to someone. It felt even better to talk to someone who understood.

The next day, without putting much thought to it, Draco passes his parchment to Slughorn without a word.

Slughorn raises his eyebrows in curiosity and asks Draco what he meant by what he wrote, and Draco smiles but doesn’t answer.

“Love is a single strike of lightning in the midst of a strong storm. Very curious, Mr. Malfoy, eh?” Slughorn eyes him with apprehension.

Draco turns crismon, not at all expecting that Slughorn would read his submission aloud for the whole class to hear.

Harry sees the back of Draco’s ears turn red as well, and a knowing smile creeps into his lips. “Come to think of it, sir,” he interjects, making Draco turn to him, eyes wide with shock, “it’s not very curious at all.”

Harry turns to Draco and throws him a subtle wink, leaving him dazed for the rest of the hour.

The Moral High Ground: Arrow 5x12 Review (Bratva)

RUSSIA!!!! Just so we’re clear, whenever I write this I’m singing it in my very best  Tevye “TRADITION!” voice. If you don’t understand that reference go rent Fiddler on the Roof right now.

The return to Russia means a refocus on Original Team Arrow. The first trip to Russia, in 2x06, was really the solidification of Original Team Arrow, so it was vitally important that Arrow not miss the opportunity to revisit the bonds the show is built on. They didn’t miss the opportunity. In fact, they delivered a fantastic  episode with “Bratva” that examines the dynamics of Original Team Arrow.

And yes… there will be a snark filled gif response to that final scene. 

Patience my loves. Let’s dig in…

Keep reading

Requests: Love at First Sight

okay so ever since i saw these i’ve been REALLY EXCITED to do them let’s get started

akira

  • this boy has been through a lot of really rough shit in his life so like
  • i kind of feel like if he fell in love at first sight it wouldn’t be something where he sees s/o and is just immediately like “lub dub hubba hubba”
  • but more he’d probably witness them doing something really kind or courageous?
  • like maybe he bumps into them and their hand shoots out to make sure morgana didn’t get hurt
  • or he caught them climbing up on someone’s balcony to leave their umbrella for a dog who was left out in the rain
  • or he accidentally knocked into someone and didn’t notice and they grabbed him and were like “hey!! apologize to my friend!!!!”
  • those are the sorts of things that would grab his attention right off the bat
  • and from there he’d extrapolate other details:
  • kind eyes or a really warm smile or a laugh that sounds like how raindrops feel when they run under your collar
  • and that’s where his heart would do the lub dub flipping over in his chest
  • he’d just fall over himself into this puddle of
  • wow this person is–wow i need to keep them around somehow
  • akira isn’t the kind of person who really trips over his words–because he doesn’t talk that much
  • and he isn’t the sort of person who blushes really easily–because he’s used to things that were much more harrowing than this
  • (and that doesn’t even count mementos or palaces)
  • but this person just might be able to get him to do that
  • stumble as he introduces himself, blush as he goes for a handshake and they go for a hug
  • something about this person just reaches out and grabs him and makes him want to reach out and grab them
  • so he probably does
  • since, y’know, it’s akira

ryuji

  • for ryuji it’s like
  • probably he sees this person in the middle of some kind of activity
  • like running to school, or playing on a team, or meditating, or hauling heavy club equipment from one floor to the next
  • and it’s in that moment, when they’re concentrating on what they’re doing and nothing else
  • when the entire world is lost to them and they’re totally focused
  • that’s what gets his attention
  • ryuji is a complete and total scatterbrain, we all know that, but he’s also an athlete and i’m sure that when he’s running and doing his circular breathing and his feet are pounding the ground
  • his head clears and his focus is narrowed down and he knows exactly what he has to do, exactly where he has to be, and that’s what draws his attention in someone else: that focus
  • after that he’d notice other things
  • like their arms straining or the sweat trickling down the back of their neck or how bright their eyes are as they manage to get some success in what they’re doing
  • he’d think man oh man i would love to be the person to make them smile like that i’ve got to figure out their name
  • and where akira is the sort of person who doesn’t get flustered BOY is ryuji the opposite
  • he’d flush and stammer and laugh at himself and rub at the back of his neck and apologize a million times
  • but he’d have this boyish eagerness, this bounce to his step, this light in his eyes
  • his cheeks would be flushed but there’d be so much nervous, boundless energy in him he’d be near to bursting with it.
  • he’d probably dog this person a bit, following them and figuring them out, before he really approached
  • but oh gosh when he does, you can bet it’ll be a wild ride for them both

yusuke

  • yusuke is all about the beauty in the universe so of course he’s going to notice just how freaking stunning this person is before anything else
  • the lighting will strike them in just this certain way and he’ll sigh and say
  • oh, there you are
  • because it’s like he’s been looking for this person for his entire life
  • sayuri is great and all, but maybe even that pales in comparison to how he feels when he looks at this person who’s utterly captivated him
  • he can’t help staring
  • or the itching in his fingers to grab for a bit of charcoal so he can immortalize this moment for as long as the paper will last
  • it’s after that first glance, that involuntary gasp as his eyes fall across that profile for the first time, that he starts to notice other things, too
  • like the way this person will tilt their head as they study him back
  • or how their eyes are always changing shades depending on the light
  • sketchbooks will fill faster than he can buy them
  • paint will dry on his palette before he can decide on the perfect shade for their skin
  • he’ll want to define every crease around their mouth as they smile so he can tattoo it on the inside of his palm to keep for the rest of his life
  • he would have so little trouble telling this person how he feels, how drawn to them he is
  • like everything else he does he’d throw himself into this new passion headlong, just dive in with all of his everything
  • it’s a little intense but all the more rewarding if this person decides to join him
  • he calls them his muse, not joking, probably from the moment they meet

akechi

  • love, the way we’re defining it, is a foreign emotion for akechi
  • not that he’s never experienced it before, obviously he loved his mom and all that
  • but romantic love, love at first sight, instantly head over heels for someone, that’s nothing he’s ever really thought would happen to him
  • so, of course, he wouldn’t realize it was happening at all
  • he’d notice this person, right?
  • he’d notice their face and their voice and the way they walk and how they laugh and the way their nose crinkles up when they frown and what clothes they’re wearing and where they bought their shoes and that they got their last haircut X amount of time ago (probably)
  • you can pry actual!detective Goro from my COLD DEAD HANDS
  • but he wouldn’t realize why each of those details was SO INCREDIBLY important to him
  • he wouldn’t know why his heart jumped in his chest like that whenever they looked his way
  • he wouldn’t understand what made them seem to stand out so much from their surroundings, almost like they were glowing and calling to him like a beacon
  • that is, he wouldn’t understand until he did
  • love isn’t an emotion you can talk yourself out of, though you can certainly try
  • it would take him several tries to realize his mistake
  • and at that point it’d already be too late
  • he’d be in too deep
  • akechi is a good actor, and he’d be more than capable of acting normal around this person if the need arose
  • he’d be able to smile and joke with them like they’re any other person he knows
  • but eventually he might start trying to distance himself from this person, if they ever got to be friends
  • he’d probably never actually tell them about his feelings

mishima

  • mishima is the kind of boy who falls in love easily
  • or maybe it’d be better to say he becomes infatuated easily because the way he acts about those crushes doesn’t really define love
  • his criteria for s/o’s boils down to “interested in me”
  • …….
  • and that’s basically it
  • boy’s self esteem is so low they’re planning an excavation to see if his anxiety predates the Mesozoic era
  • so he’s kind of desperate lonely and willing to take whatever he thinks he’s going to get, because he’s afraid that’s all he’s going to get
  • but for love, the kind of stuff we’ve been talking about here
  • like akechi, maybe he wouldn’t be able to define it at first
  • he’d think it’s just another infatuation, like all the other times, and he’d throw himself into it with just as much enthusiasm as usual
  • he wouldn’t realize that his heart is beating harder than ever over this person’s smiles, or that the flush on his cheeks is darker and wider spread than it’s ever been before
  • he’d just go on being infatuated with this person and tell himself it would fade eventually like all the other crushes he’s ever had
  • until it doesn’t
  • and he’s like “oh.”
  • mishima is the nervous laughter kind of anxious, always willing to let the situation turn into a joke at his expense if it will dispel the tension
  • he’d be no different in this situation, full of self-deprecating jokes and sheepish smiles and blushes staining his face like fine red wine
  • he laughs at almost everything this person says, breathless sounds that push out of him because here aren’t any words in any known language he can use to communicate with them
  • like akechi, he probably wouldn’t reveal how he feels to this person
  • just too much of a risk, too much embarrassment
This Is Going to Be About Heroes

Enough of the educators who were at ALAN/ NCTE ‘16 have asked me for the transcript of my keynote there that I’ve finally decided to post it. Here it is, give or take.


_________


This is going to be about heroes.

I’m going to tell you three stories about heroes and bravery, and then I’m going to tell you how all three of those stories could be told differently.

Nowadays, I find myself a professional storyteller. A maker of heroes. I spend my days putting swords in stones, monsters under beds, ghosts in attics. I have learned that often the difference between a hero and a villain is merely the narrator I choose for the lens of the story. I have learned, too, that the difference between a horror and a romance is sometimes as simple as where I choose to begin the story. A tragedy and a comedy can convey the same events — the difference is in how you tell them.

I’ve also learned that this isn’t just true of the stories I write. It’s true in the story I’m living. The first hero I ever built was myself.

So. These three stories. I’m sharing these three stories about heroes because I want to talk about how the most important stories we tell are the ones we tell about ourselves. Those who have the power and wherewithal to change the narrative of the events around them are the ones who will change the future. Those who have the guts to say “that’s not my version of events” when they hear someone else telling their story are the ones who get to own their own story.

Here is story number one: I drove down to NCTE from my home in Virginia on Saturday. It was supposed to be about a seven and a half hour drive but it turned into a ten hour trip because of Atlanta traffic. Because of my car’s tiny gas tank, I ended up stopping for gas three times. Each time I pulled into a station, a thing happened, the same thing that’s been happening every time I park my car in a public place for the past month. I’ll get out of my car and swipe my card at the pump, feeling like there are eyes on me. I plug in my zip code and put the fuel nozzle in the car, and as I do, I’ll see that the eyes are attached to a motorist or a pedestrian who has paused to stare at me. By the time the tank is full and I’ve gotten my receipt, I’ll discover that they’ve made their way over to me. The conversation goes pretty much the same way every time.

Keep reading

5

So Today I Watched… Spider-Man: Homecoming // Sony & Marvel Studios (2017)

If you were a comic-fan kid in the 80’s the main question you asked yourself was “Why is there no Spider-Man movie out there”. Fast forward to 2017 and we’ve had five films from 2002 to this year’s new revamp. Yes, Spider-Man: Homecoming brings a new face to don the webs and it’s integrated into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Peter Parker is now a very, very young kid in his high school years, long gone is the retelling of the tragic origin that made him become a Superhero, the tale is out there for anyone coming in new to this rodeo. Both Tobey and Andrew did it good and it really doesn’t add up to this new take on the character (while it will always be integral to his personality nonetheless). We were introduced to Tom Holland as Peter Parker in last year’s Captain America: Civil War and we already know he’s a high school kid struggling to have his life together while trying to be responsible to his beliefs (With great power comes great responsibility). He has a very hot aunt May played by Marisa Tomey and a father-ish figure in the face of Tony Stark played by none other than Robert Downey Jr.  To the classic fan this Spider-Man mey seem a bit alien since he has a lot at his disposal at the beginning of his career while comic Spidey didn’t have much of anything but his smarts and cunning resilience to endure every blow life threw at him. Peter’s original Spidey costume is made of old clothes and costume-made web shooters while the “upgrade” given to him by Tony Stark s a billion dollar suit with integrated A.I that enhances his powers and the use of his webbing and the dependence he gets from such a gadget becomes an important art of the film.

A lot has changed with his supporting cast too in this new take: Ned Leeds (the future Hobgoblin) is Peter’s best friend; there is no Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy this time around (although Liz Toomes and Michelle are nice additions to the line-up). Flash Thompson is no longer a jock, he’s Parker’s intellectual rival and still bullies him plenty by being a smartass. All these changes add up to the story in some fashion and place the story in current times nicely. So what does Peter have to deal this time around? 8 years ago after the Chitauri invasion a team of contractors got bumped in favor of a private company called “Damage Control” to clean up the city leaving one Adrian Toomes and his fellow  group of coworkers as very disgruntled and estranged workers. They decide than since the man sticked it up to them they will stick it back. For eight years Toomes and his crew raid the secrets deposits of alien technology of Damage Control to sell the weaponized technology to whoever has the cash to pay for it. His right hand man? The Shocker. Everything gets complicated for this crew once that Peter notices his dealings and with his mind set on proving himself does everything to bring them down. As these things go, we are reminded that Peter is just a kid biting more than he can actually chew and when push comes to shove it will not be technology and sense of opportunity what defines his actions as a hero, but his resilience and persistence to do what is right at the expense of great personal sacrifices to the people he loves.  

Spider-Man Homecoming is a great film. It does a wonderful job of diving you into the action without making you feel lost. The structure of the movie is on par with what we usually get as a Marvel Studios film. Is this god or bad? I’ll let you decide on that one. I do consider myself served on entertainment and this is what this story was supposed to deliver. I’m hoping every entry of this new trilogy is as good as this one. Solid acting from all the parties. Great direction by Jon Watts. Awesome music by Michael Giacchino. All in all another solid entry to the Marvel Cinematic Universe!.

strangers

Based off of this headcanon by @dark-chestnut 


Remus had made it his habit to drop by the same spot in London every now and then in the last year. It had taken a lot of self convincing to gather up the courage to go see the boy who lived, it had taken him almost 5 years to be exact. Even though he knew where the Dursleys lived he couldn’t find it in him to knock on the door and see Harry, he was pretty sure Petunia would have shut him off without blinking but he was still angry with himself for not trying. He owed it James, he owed it to Lily to be there for Harry but he didn’t deserve being around Harry nor did Harry need someone like Remus in his life.

This had been going on for a few months now, Remus would drop by the old building close to the Dursley household and watch the messy haired small boy wait for his uncle. When he had first seen him, he had to sit down to the closest bench he could find. When he was a baby, they joked about how he looked like James but he was so small there was no way of telling it but this boy, with the exception of his green eyes, was for sure James Potter’s son. Even his hair was sticking out the same way his father’s did and Remus thought this was his punishment for running away from Harry for so long. Every time he saw the little boy, he felt the familiar stab in his heart reminding him that the only thing he had left of the Potters was this small boy who looked so painfully like his father with a scar on his head.

More often than not, Vernon would be late making Harry wait. He would sit on the sidewalks staring at the cars passing by until one of his teachers would come out to take him inside. Remus felt like even though the small boy knew his uncle wasn’t coming, he always had the hope that someday he would so he kept going out just to be taken back in. It made Remus a bit happy to know that after all he had been through, he was still capable of hoping. But this time, the boy walked out of the building and started walking away from the school and where his uncle was supposed to get him from. 

Remus panicked first but then started following the small boy, he knew how this looked from the outside with his shabby coat and scars but he couldn’t live if something were to happen to him. So he kept the distance just enough so he could see where he was going. Harry stopped by a empty children’s park and sat down one of the swings with his head bowed down. So this was how it looked like when someone lost their hope and trust in someone. Remus slowly checked the surroundings and making sure that no one was around he slowly walked and stood by the other swing next to Harry.

“Mind if I sit down?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slightly before he looked up at Remus. It was like looking into the eyes of Lily, Remus wondered if Harry knew he had her eyes. 

“Are you alright?” asked Remus softly.

“No.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.”

Strangers.

Remus knew Harry didn’t know who he was but knowing that he was there the day he was born and the day he started walking hurt Remus so much. He could have been Uncle Moony but he was just a stranger now to this beautiful boy. Sirius had taken so much from him but Remus never thought about the relationship he could have had with Harry until the past few months. Sirius had stolen everything from Remus including Harry. He was just a stranger now. A stranger who almost fainted the first time he held him because he was so scared of hurting something so pure and so perfect. A stranger who baby sat him so many times but not enough, played with him for hours on end. A stranger who used to make him laugh but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore and Remus knew this was a stupid idea. 

“You should go home before it gets dark,” he muttered before he got up and started shuffling his huge scarf to hide the fresh scar on his neck. He turned away with a nod and started walking away. 

“I like your scars,” shouted Harry making Remus turn abruptly. “It’s okay to have scars, you know. I have one, too.” 

Harry pushed his hair up to reveal his famous scar. He was smiling slightly as he jumped off the swing and started walking the other way. Remus didn’t know how to feel. He felt angry because there he was, a man with nothing to lose, beating himself up everyday because nothing was going to change and reminding himself that he deserved everything he got and there was this little boy, who had been through a lot himself and having every reason to hate the life he was living but he was still trying to make sure a person he defined as a stranger knew it was okay to be different. He felt hatred towards Sirius like he had never in his life before for taking this beautiful boy away form him but the strongest feeling he had was guilt. He hadn’t fought hard enough, he hadn’t tried hard enough to make sure Harry didn’t suffer anymore and he deserved to be a stranger to him because he hadn’t given his all to make sure he wasn’t. 

Remus pulled his coat tighter around him as the autumn breeze made him shiver, he hid in the first corner he could find and apparated as far away as possible from Surrey. When his feet landed on the ground he found himself in the last place he wanted to be.

anonymous asked:

I LOVE that you talk about Phil as his own person and that you bring attention to 'philphobia'! I see in your posts so many of my own thoughts that I've been too afraid/uncomfortable to address, and it makes me happy(? more like satisfied?) that someone is saying it so publicly. It's a disheartening reality some parts of the phandom and it's important to mention it, so thank you <3

I admire Phil so much, and for so many reasons. These are just a few:

  1. He seems like such a genuinely nice, warm, caring, thoughtful person.
  2. He seems so generous, such as when he invited Dan onstage at the BONCAs to share his accolades.
  3. He never brags about his accomplishments, even if maybe sometimes he should! He’s accomplished a lot worth bragging about!
  4. He seems like a really good friend, not only to Dan but to loads of other people, most of which we never see except in occasional little glimpses like his recent collab with Shawna. This is one of the reasons I wish he did more collabs with other YouTubers, because a lot of them seem very fond of him, but we don’t get to see it much.
  5. He seems to really try to keep a positive attitude. Sometimes in life that’s hard, like when he got sick on tour, but he seems to always really try to find a way to still be happy and to make others happy, too. He still went out on that stage every night and did his best to make that once-in-a-lifetime experience something every audience member would always remember with joy.
  6. His love for animals is adorable, but also ethically meaningful. I love that he said in his last live show that while on the tour in Florida he was really worried that they were invading the personal space of the baby alligators. Phil really thinks and cares about the well-being of other creatures, both humans and non-humans. He shows so much respect for the natural world, people and animals and plants and all!
  7. He seems like a very ambitiously creative thinker who believes he can make things happen, and that’s clearly been the case since childhood, since we’ve seen clips of the movie he made when he was a kid. Most kids wouldn’t have had the drive and perseverence to create such a large project, but kid!Phil did. Just imagine what he still has ahead of him!
  8. He seems to laugh a lot, and to quite easily laugh at himself. It requires a real belief in yourself, a sense of security and respect for yourself, to be able to laugh so easily when you realize you’ve done something stupid. I’ve always admired that about him, that he doesn’t edit out the moments when he’s filming and says something dumb … instead, he usually emphasizes it in his videos, knowing that millions of people will see it! That’s a sign of incredible comfort with himself, a level of comfort most people never achieve.
  9. He’s incredibly beautiful from a purely visually aesthetic standpoint, but doesn’t seem to think about that much. It’s rare that we see a photo of him—like the ladybug selfie—where he seems to be emphasizing his own physical beauty. I worry sometimes that this comes from a lack of recognition of his own physical attractiveness, but then pics like the ladybug selfie make me doubt that it’s ignorance, because nobody could look at that photo without thinking, “That is an incredibly beautiful man” … not even Phil, I hope.
  10. He doesn’t let society’s expectations limit him, and it seems like he never really has. He’s always seemed open and accepting (and even proud) of the ways in which he is unique, different, and even “weird.” He doesn’t let anyone’s expectations of what a 30-year-old man “should” be like determine his behavior or his attitudes. He watches anime and steals cereal and dresses up in silly wigs and giggles and doesn’t let anybody tell him that he needs to “grow up.” There are a million different ways to be a “grown-up,” and I love that Phil defines it for himself instead of letting anyone else define it for him.

Phil is not half of Dan-and-Phil.  He is his own person, and I love that person for all the things that make him who he is, even the things he doesn’t let us see, because he has a right to privacy. Whatever parts of himself he chooses not to share, those parts of him still contribute to the whole Phil, and that person is someone I admire and respect.

It is often claimed in this context that people define themselves, which is often perceived as stating that they can wish to be something—anything, a bird, for instance—and then be it. According to most existentialist philosophers, however, this would constitute an inauthentic existence. Instead, the phrase should be taken to say that people are  defined only insofar as they act and that they are responsible for their actions. For example, someone who acts cruelly towards other people is, by that act, defined as a cruel person. Furthermore, by this action of cruelty, such persons are themselves responsible for their new identity (cruel persons). This is as opposed to their genes, or human nature, bearing the blame.

As Sartre writes in his work Existentialism is a Humanism: “… man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world—and defines himself afterwards.” Of course, the more positive, therapeutic aspect of this is also implied: A person can choose to act in a different way, and to be a good person instead of a cruel person. Here it is also clear that since humans can choose to be either cruel or good, they are, in fact, neither of these things essentially.

“The subjective thinker’s form, the form of his communication, is his style. His form must be just as manifold as are the opposites that he holds together. The systematic eins, zwei, drei is an abstract form that also must inevitably run into trouble whenever it is to be applied to the concrete. To the same degree as the subjective thinker is concrete, to the same degree his form must also be concretely dialectical. But just as he himself is not a poet, not an ethicist, not a dialectician, so also his form is none of these directly. His form must first and last be related to existence, and in this regard he must have at his disposal the poetic, the ethical, the dialectical, the religious. Subordinate character, setting, etc., which belong to the well balanced character of the esthetic production, are in themselves breadth; the subjective thinker has only one setting—existence—and has nothing to do with localities and such things. The setting is not the fairyland of the imagination, where poetry produces consummation, nor is the setting laid in England, and historical accuracy is not a concern. The setting is inwardness in existing as a human being; the concretion is the relation of the existence-categories to one another. Historical accuracy and historical actuality are breadth.”

- Søren Kierkegaard (Concluding Postscript, Hong p. 357–358)

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