the perfect pickle

She calls to you, even now

Haven’t drawn a Naten in a while so have a really fast teen angst Nathan. I wanna make one for all the boys.

PS my hand lettering is so bad I’m so sorry

Pieces of my Heart - Part 24

Read the entire work at A03

———————————-

This chapter has several time jumps….

“No!” Jughead yelled, his hands on his hips, his eyes spitting fire.  “We are not postponing our wedding again!”

“Juggie, just let me…..” Betty started and he cut her off with a shake of his head and glare.

“We already postponed it in May and I didn’t want to, we aren’t doing it again.”

“For God’s sake Jughead, your dad had a stroke in May!  Of course we weren’t going to get married until he was better!”

“He could have come!”

“He was in the hospital,” Betty said with a roll of her eyes.  “And his recovery took a while, but he is doing wonderful now, back to his old self.”

“So what the fuck then?  Our wedding is in September, it’s July, why do you want to postpone it?  It’s already too dam far away.” he huffed.

“My dress won’t fit,” she said, her mouth twitching with a smile.

“So get a different one!” he snapped.

“Jughead,” Betty gasped in horror.  “Veronica’s designer friend hand stitched that dress for me! It’s one of a kind!”

“Well, why the hell won’t it fit?  You’ve been the same size, literally for years,” Jughead said loudly.  Betty wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d stomped his foot.  She tried really hard not to laugh.

“I’m going to be too fat,” she said simply, her smile growing bigger, her hands on her stomach.

“What? You planning on switching your salads for donuts?” he asked, completely confused.  She sighed at his slowness.

“No, Juggie, apparently I just can’t be trusted to take my birth control properly.”

Jughead stared at her, his confusion slowly fading as he took in her dazzling smile and her hands gently cradling her stomach.  The confusion was replaced by shock.

“Betty?” he said hoarsely, giving his head a shake.  He walked slowly to her, placing his hand over hers, staring in awe down into her shining eyes.

“Are you…?” he couldn’t finish the sentence over the lump in his throat.  She nodded, her eyes shining with tears, her smile almost blinding him.

“How?” he whispered, his hand moving under her shirt to lay gently against her.

“I honestly have no idea,” Betty sighed, resting her forehead against his chest.  “I guess with your father being ill, I once again forgot to pay attention and missed a bunch of days.  I should have used an alarm or something,” she said laughing.  Jugheads arms suddenly went around her and hugged her tight.  She laughed, delighted and threw her arms around his neck.  Jughead suddenly released her and stepped back.

“I’m sorry, I was squeezing too tight,” he said worried.

“No, it’s fine,” Betty laughed.  He took her hand and gently let her to the couch.

“Here, sit.  Do you need some pillows? I can get you some pillows.”

“Juggie, I’m fine, you don’t….” He settled her down on the couch.

“You’re never leaving this apartment,” he said hurriedly.  “Or getting in a car.”

“Jughead!”

“I’m serious Betty!” Jughead said, his voice and eyes filled with panic.  “You aren’t getting in a car until we have this baby.”  Betty put her hands on his face and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Juggie,” she said softly and he looked at her, deflating a little in worry.  “It’s going to be ok, nothing is going to happen.”  Jughead let out a ragged breath.

“I’m terrified,” he muttered.

“I can see that,” Betty said, laughing softly.  Jughead searched her face, hugged her again and then let go.

“You’re sure? How do you know?” he asked, touching her stomach.

“Well, I realized I was late and immediately went to check my birth control and once again realized I screwed up, so I took a test,” Betty said smiling.  “I was shocked at first and so I took a couple more, and then just to be sure, I went to see the doctor this morning.  He confirmed it.”

“And everything is ok?”

“He says everything looks great, and it’s still very early, about 6 weeks, but he examined me and says everything looks good,” Betty said happily.  

“Wow,” he breathed, still in awe.  “I didn’t think we’d even be talking about this for a while yet.  Are we ready?”

“Well, whether we are or not, it’s happening,” she said laughing.  “It was bound to happen with all the sex you demand from me,” she said teasingly.  He raised an eyebrow at her.  

“I demand sex?” he asked, laughing out loud.  “Two days ago, I believe your exact words were ‘If you don’t take me to bed and make love to me right now, I’m going to live with Veronica!’.”

“It was the full moon, it brought something out in me,” she said, her hands suddenly undoing the buttons of his shirt.  

“It was lunch time,” he said, lifting her up so her legs went around his waist.  She shoved his shirt off his shoulders and licked his skin as he walked with her to the bedroom.

“I’m sure there was a full moon somewhere,” she gasped as her back came in contact with the bed sheets.  Jugheads hands and mouth were everywhere, gently, slowly, until she was yelling at him to hurry up.  She suddenly realized how careful he was being, afraid to hurt her and the baby.

“Dammit, Juggie, you won’t hurt it, I want you now!”  He snapped out of it and gave her what she wanted, hard and fast and they came together with shouts and groans of ecstasy.

———————–

“I swear V, I love Jughead more than anything but he is driving me fucking crazy!!!”  Betty said grumpily as she devoured another pickle dipped in icecream.  Veronica looked like she was going to throw up as she watched her friend.

“How can you eat that?” she asked, looking a little green.

“I don’t know,” Betty sighed.  “It’s literally all I want to eat lately.  Pregnancy is weird.”

“I just don’t understand how you can crave a pickle dipped in ice cream,” V muttered, shaking her head.  “So, why is Jughead driving you crazy?”

“Well, we seriously haven’t had sex since the day I told him I was pregnant,” Betty said with a groan.  “My morning sickness started two days later, and let me tell you, they lied!  It’s all fucking day long, not just the morning.  I didn’t want him anywhere near me with all my vomiting.  It blessedly only lasted 4 weeks.  And he was a nutcase during those 4 weeks.  It didn’t matter how many times I told him that it was normal, he wanted to call the doctor every time I got sick.  Now it’s all done for the most part and all I can think about is sex and he won’t touch me cause he thinks if we have sex the baby will fall out!” Betty finished in a frustrated yell.  Veronica bit back her laugh and cleared her throat.

“Its not funny!” Betty yelled again.  

“Calm down B, have you tried explaining?”

“I’ve tried everything Ron, the only thing left to try is tap dance naked across his cock and he probably still won’t fuck me.”  Veronica laughed out loud at that.  Betty sat glaring at her, munching angrily on her pickle.

“Maybe he doesn’t find me attractive now that I’m pregnant,” Betty said, her eyes suddenly filling with tears.  Moving from anger to sadness in the blink of an eye.

“God Betty, that’s the last thing you should be thinking.  You’re fucking glowing these days.  Your hair is stunning, your skin freaking glistens.”

“It’s sweat Ron, I’m not glowing!  My hormones are in such overdrive, I’m sweating from horniness,” Betty said, angry and crying at the same time.

“Good God, I’m never letting Archie get me pregnant,” Ron said, horrified at the spectacle in front of her.

“Betty, he is just worried and you are stunning, especially with your baby bump starting to show.  You need to seduce him.”

“I tried that yesterday, it didn’t end well,” Betty said with a sigh.  Veronica raised an eyebrow.

“Explain.”

“I decided to do a little strip tease and I could tell him was getting excited, and then my dam foot got caught in the hem of my skirt and I fell over.  He of course panicked and spent the rest of the stinking evening making sure the baby wasn’t going to come……”  Betty trailed off and glared again at Veronica who was laughing so hard, she had tears running down her face.

“I fucking need a new best friend,” Betty grumbled and grabbed another pickle.


Jughead flipped through the pictures of the sunset he had taken a few days earlier and jumped almost a foot when a wrapped package landed with a loud crack on the table next to his laptop.  He looked up and saw Veronica standing in front of him.

“Hey V,” he said with a raised eyebrow.  “What brings you to the studio?”

“Just had a little talk with Betty,” she said with a shrug.

“Is she ok?” he asked in a rush.

“She’s fine Jughead.  Acting slightly deranged, and eating the most horrifying shit, but otherwise, she’s perfect.”

“Pickles and ice cream?” he asked with a smile.  She paled and Jughead laughed.

“So why are you here?” he asked again.  

“That’s for you,” she said, nodded to the package.  He frowned and picked it up.

“I suggest you look at it, before your fiancé fucking loses it more than she already is,” V said.

“Losing it how?” he frowned.

“Well, for one, she thinks you don’t find her attractive anymore cause she’s pregnant.”  His shocked look made her smile and she turned and walked out of the studio.  Jughead unwrapped the gift and stared down at it and a slow grin spread across his face.


When Betty got home from work the following day, she found Jughead standing in the living room in black slacks and a white button down shirt.  She was so surprised at his dress attire, she almost dropped her files.  She put her things on the island and looked at him in confusion.  He smiled and walked over to her.  

“Take a shower, put on something you feel your prettiest in.  I’m taking you out to dinner,” he said with a smile.  

“You are?” she asked in surprise.  “What’s the occasion?”

“I want to show off my incredibly sexy pregnant fiancé,” he said gruffly, running his thumb over her bottom lip.  Betty’s heart started to pound and her stomach coiled in heat.  She could only nod and hurried to the bedroom.  She showered quickly and dried her hair, put on a bit of makeup and chose a simple, knee length white sundress that showed of her small but obvious baby bump.

Jughead took her to the fanciest restaurant in town and the food was sensational.  The smiles they got from all around them made his heart smile.  He couldn’t believe how lucky he was.  The notorious trouble maker from Riverdale, was engaged to and expecting a baby with the most beautiful girl in town.  They made a stunning pair.  She was stunning.  His heart wrenched a little that he had unknowingly managed to make her feel unattractive when in truth she had never been more beautiful to him.  He wanted her with a desperation that was agonizing.  He had allowed his fear to dictate his actions and he was going to remedy that tonight.

He took great care to make her feel as lovely as she was, with comments and touches and looks and the heat he saw in her eyes made his body harden and ache.  He willed his blood to cool before they had to get up because he was sure if he stood right now, everyone would know just what he was thinking about.

By the time they made it home, Jughead was having a hard time controlling his breathing.  She held his hand in the car, running her fingers up and down his, between them, scraping lightly with her nails.  He opened the door to their apartment and she walked over to the island and dropped her purse and stepped out of her shoes.  He watched her and she walked towards the hall and stopped, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Can you unzip me?” she asked in a husky whisper.  He walked up to her and his fingers trembled as he slowly lowered the zipper, brushing the skin along the way.  When he had it open she stepped away from him and walked slowly down the hall, the dress falling slowly to her waist.  She wasn’t wearing a bra.  It started to slide down her hips and she paused at the bedroom door, looking back at him and letting it fall to the floor.  She stepped out of it and his knees almost buckled as she disappeared through the door, leaving the dress laying there.  Betty was completely nude.

Betty stood by the bed, waiting.  She felt him come up behind her, his hands touching her back, sliding over her hips.  His mouth dropped to her shoulder, his tongue running over the skin.  His hands came around her, moving up to gently cup her breasts that were getting more firm and sensitive as her pregnancy progressed.   She gasped when he gently tweaked her nipples as he sucked the side of her neck.

“Juggie,” she breathed, her hands clutching his.  He turned her slowly and her hands went to the buttons on his shirt.  She was trembling and fumbled; her need so heavy she felt the wetness pool between her legs as she stood there.  Jughead lifted her chin and took her mouth in an erotic, tongue curling, wet kiss and her knees did buckle.  He followed her down on the bed and braced over her as his mouth slanted over hers, again and again.

Betty moaned and arched her body against him, her nails scratching his back.  His mouth slipped down to her chest and his tongue gently swirled around her sensitive nipples, being careful not to pull too hard on them.  She was gasping by the time he was done with both and then he moved further down to the swollen bump of her belly.  He placed soft kisses all over it and his whispered ‘I love you’ against her skin made her eyes well with tears.  Her hand slid into his hair as he whispered it again and all she could think was ‘Dear God, I love this man’.

She whimpered as his mouth moved lower, his hands gently parting her thighs until she lay open to him, her arousal glistening and waiting for him.  His fingers parted her as he blew his breath over her and she groaned loudly when he slid a finger into her heat.  His tongue stroked over her and she almost came off the bed.  It had been so long she came almost immediately.  He laughed softly and kept at it, until she came again and yet again.  She pushed on his shoulder when she couldn’t take it anymore and he sat up, staring down at her, an arrogant grin on his face.  He slowly pulled off the shirt she never managed to get off and tossed it on the floor.

She sat up and undid his pants while he kissed the breath out of her.  When she got them undone he lowered her down again and never breaking their kiss they fumbled and pulled and finally got his pants down his legs and off.  He settled over her and smoothed her hair back.  

“Let me know if I hurt you,” he whispered hoarsely.  

“You won’t hurt me Juggie,” she whimpered, lifting to him.  He eased into her and she wrapped around him, pulling him down for another kiss.  Jughead moved slowly until her legs tightened and she bucked against him in desperation and he buried his face in her hair and moved faster, her slick heat pulling him deep.  His hand moved down between them to bring her to completion faster when he realized he wouldn’t last long.  He almost made it and groaned when he felt his release rip through him seconds before she clamped hard around him.

It almost killed him but he managed to not collapse on top of her and braced on trembling arms, his breathing heavy and choppy against her ear.  Betty eased her grip and he slowly moved to the side, pulling her tightly against him.

They lay in silence for a while, their breathing slowly returning to normal.  He pressed a kiss to her temple and gave a content sigh.  She mimicked his sigh and cuddled up close.

“Juggie?” she whispered after a while.

“Hmmmmm?”

“What made you do this?” she wondered.

“Veronica,” he said with a laugh.  Betty leaned up and looked at him in surprise.

“She told you to take me to dinner and make love to me?” she asked, bewildered.

“No, she gave me a book.”

“Which book?”

“Sex and Pregnancy.”  Betty burst into laughter and he smiled.

“Remind me to thank her,” she said happily.  Jughead moved her onto her back and leaned on his elbow, gazing down at her.

“I’m so sorry Betts,” he said softly, brushing her hair off her forehead.  “I never meant to make you feel undesirable.  Please believe me.  In fact, the further along you got, the more I wanted to throw you on the bed and bang you,” he admitted ruefully.

“Bang me?” she asked laughing.

“Seriously, I’ve never wanted to shoot a load more, than in the last month.”

“Shoot a load, Jughead?  You did not just say that,” she said disgruntled.

“Yes Betty, bang, shoot a load, fuck the ever living…..” her hand clapped over his mouth.  He took her hand away.  “You’ve never looked sexier to me, I swear to God and I didn’t touch you because I was terrified I was going to hurt you.  Ok, I may have foolishly thought the baby might fall out….” She started laughing.  “But the other reason was I was so freaking hot for you and your new curves, I didn’t trust myself to be gentle.”  She smiled seductively and ran her hand over his abdomen and his muscles contracted beneath her touch.

“I won’t break Jughead, and the baby is very well protected.  You don’t need to be that gentle, we will be fine,” she whispered, running her tongue over his skin.  

“I’m still going to try to…..”

“Shut up and bang me,” she whispered as she bit his shoulder.  He grinned and did as she asked.

——————-

Betty sat back and threw her shoe in annoyance.  Jughead watched it hit the wall and raised an eyebrow.

“Problem?” he asked, swallowing his laugh.

“How am I supposed to put on shoes when I can’t even see my fucking feet?” she yelled.  “And why the fuck is it so hot?”

“Its February,” he said, hiding his smile.

“It’s hot!” she snapped.  “And don’t laugh at me!”  Jughead went to pick up her shoe and sat on his haunches in front of her, smiling gently.  She sighed let him put on her shoe.

“I’m sorry Juggie, I just want this baby out already.  I feel like a dam whale.”

“A very beautiful whale,” he said, pulling her close for a kiss.  She sat back and rested a hand over her large belly.  He saw the fluttering movement and laid a hand against the kicks coming from inside her.

“I’ll never get tired of feeling that,” he said, still in awe that something inside her was kicking at his hand.

“You sure you don’t want to ask the doc what we’re having?” she asked smiling.  

“No, I want to be surprised,” he said kissing her belly.  

“Help me up,” she said, holding out her hands.  Jughead helped her to her feet and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.  The doorbell rang and she sighed.  “Can you get that?  By the time I get over there, it’ll be Christmas again.”  

Jughead laughed and went to open the door.  She saw him stiffen and then he slowly stepped back and let her mother walk in the door.

adabsurrdum  asked:

An INTJ and an ENFP are searching for the perfect Pickles™, what ensues?

Yes! HELL YES. HELL FUCKING YES. YOU! THE PICKLES™. LET’S DO THIS. I AM READY.

The apartment is quiet. INTJ walks into the kitchen and opens up the fridge and scans the inside for something to eat.

ENFP: Oh, hey.

INTJ: *Pulls back front the fridge* O.O

INTJ: Where did you even come from?

ENFP: So, by now you’ve probably noticed the terrible dilemma I’m in.

INTJ: You’re always in a terrible dilemma.

ENFP: Okay. No, this is actually serious.

INTJ: Oh. Okay, what is it.

ENFP: We’re out of Pickles™.

INTJ: *Rolls eyes and goes back into the fridge*

ENFP: INTJ, this is a real problem!

INTJ: Why is it such a big deal that we’re out of pickles?

ENFP:

INTJ:

ENFP: Say that again.

INTJ: Say what?

ENFP: Pickles™.

INTJ: Pickles.

ENFP: No. INTJ, you’re saying it wrong.

ENFP: It’s Pickles™.

INTJ: What?

INTJ: That’s the exact same thing I said.

ENFP: No, it’s not. It’s okay, though. You’re point is getting across.

INTJ: Um.

ENFP: So, let’s go.

INTJ: What do you mean?

ENFP: You and me. Store. Pickles™. Buy. Now. Emergency.

INTJ: You know, telling me something is an emergency every time you need something kind of defeats the purpose.

ENFP: Okay, well, this is Defcon 5 Emergency. How’s that?

INTJ: Is it really that important?

ENFP: Yes!

INTJ: *Deep breath*

INTJ: Okay, I’ll go.

ENFP: Awesome!

INTJ: Just give me five minutes.

ENFP: For what?

INTJ: I don’t know.

INTJ: To mentally prepare.

ENFP and INTJ walk into the store, and ENFP picks up a basket to carry around.

INTJ: So, where are these special pickles you love so much?

INTJ: Also, how have I not heard of these?

ENFP: They’re kind of under the radar, you know? Underground.

INTJ: Hmm. I was unaware pickles could be - wait a minute.

INTJ: This is an off-brand, isn’t it?

ENFP: What?

INTJ: Pickles™ is the actual name of it, isn’t it!

ENFP: OKAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING.

INTJ: ENFP, do you have any idea how sketchy it looks to have a label-less jar of pickles in the fridge?

ENFP: Oh, right, like the fucking Pickle Inspector is coming over today to check our fridge.

INTJ: You’re right. He is. I just called him. Hired him in. You’ve never met him; he’s underground.

ENFP: Hahaha, oh my god, let’s just get the Pickles™.

ENFP walks past all of the aisles toward the cash registers while INTJ follows closely behind, looking up at the signs above the aisles. INTJ tries to narrow down the area to search, but ENFP is walking too fast and he loses his concentration. They greet a lone cashier at her check-out.

ENFP: Excuse me, can you show me all your pickles?

INTJ: What in god’s name kind of question is that.

ENFP: You see… I’m looking for a special kind of pickles.

Cashier: Can you describe them? There’s a lot of different kinds.

ENFP: They’re Pickles™. Kind of new.

Cashier: Are they sliced?

ENFP: Hmm. I’m not sure! I don’t remember. They could be.

ENFP: Haha, sorry if I’m not too good with this. They’re not the most popular.

INTJ: *Has zoned out*

Cashier: That’s okay. I don’t have the best memory either.

ENFP: All I know is that they were in this cool looking jar, and they were delicious.

Cashier: Well, I can at least point you in the right direction. Try aisle 6.

ENFP: Oh, okay. Thanks!

Cashier: I love your bracelet, by the way.

ENFP: Huh - oh! Thank you!

ENFP: INTJ made it for me, actually.

ENFP elbows INTJ.

ENFP: Don’t be rude, INTJ.

ENFP: At least say hello to the wonderful Pickle™ finding cashier.

INTJ: Huh?

INTJ: Oh.

INTJ: Hello.

Cashier: Nice to meet you both. You make a nice couple.

ENFP: Huh?

Cashier: Oh! I mean, you guys are… together, right?

ENFP: Yes.             |     INTJ: No.

ENFP: What?         |     INTJ: What?

ENFP: He’s lying.   |    INTJ: She’s lying.

Cashier: Um, you guys have a good day, anyway.

ENFP and INTJ have finally made their way into the correct aisle and are now scanning for the Pickles™.

ENFP: Oh, relax! I was just kidding around, you know that.

INTJ: No, the joke was fine. My concern is: what if you guys ended up being friends?

INTJ: What if you just kept talking and suddenly you’ve got plans for this weekend. And all the while she thinks we’re dating when you just told her as a joke.

ENFP: Is it really that likely that we’d just “be friends” out of nowhere? Just like that?

INTJ: In your case? Yes, actually.

ENFP: Oh, baloney. Who have I become friends with in that way?

INTJ: -.-

ENFP:

INTJ: -.-

ENFP: :O

ENFP: Whoa!

INTJ: Yeah!

ENFP: Hahaha, I guess that was a close call then, wasn’t it?

INTJ: I guess it could have been worse, though.

ENFP: Awww!

INTJ: No, not like - god. You know what I mean.

ENFP: Oh, I know what you mean, INTJ.

INTJ: You’re being gross again.

ENFP: Yeah, okay. Let’s get the damn Pickles™, already.

ENFP: Sorry it’s taken so long.

INTJ: I really don’t care. I prepared myself for this, remember?

ENFP stops frozen in her tracks and stares down a section of the aisle, putting her arm out to stop INTJ.

ENFP: There they are.

INTJ: Where.

ENFP: Right there.

INTJ:

ENFP:

INTJ: SO GO GET THEM.

ENFP: ‘Kay.

ENFP picks up two jars of the Pickles™ and hands one to INTJ. 

ENFP: Behold.

INTJ: Great.

INTJ: I’m mystified. Let’s go.

INTJ: *Takes a closer look* Ew, ENFP. These look terrible.

ENFP: INTJ.

INTJ: What.

ENFP: Try one.

INTJ: Excuse me?

ENFP: Just really quick.

INTJ: That’s an awful idea.

ENFP: Come on.

INTJ: Is that even legal?

ENFP: I don’t know. Just try it. Something new! Eating Pickles™ out of the jar in the store before you’ve even bought them. I mean, we’re going to buy them, so they’re practically ours, anyway.

INTJ: If I do this, can we go?

ENFP: Yes! 

ENFP: I’ll keep watch.

INTJ: Oh my god.

INTJ starts to turn the lid of the jar only to let it slip through his hand and shatter on the floor. His face is red embarrassment and mortification. ENFP turns around with an enormous smile that quickly turns into an echoing howl of laughter.

INTJ: Shh!

ENFP: AHAHAHAHA!

INTJ: Oh god, why.

ENFP: Let’s go!

INTJ: What?!

ENFP yanks INTJ down the aisle by the hand, absconding from the scene.

ENFP: Before they know it was us!

INTJ: EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER KNOWS IT WAS US.

ENFP: BEFORE THEY CAN CATCH US.

INTJ: WE STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR THE DAMN PICKLES™, YOU FOOL.

ENFP: Hey, you got it right!

INTJ: You’re missing the point!

ENFP: *Gasp* You’re right.

ENFP: Shit, shit, shit.

Store Worker: Excuse me.

ENFP: It was him.     |     INTJ: It was her.

ENFP: Hey!               |     INTJ: Traitor!

This got way longer than I expect it to be. Whoops.

So to summarize:

Prismo is dead (No more perfect pickles?)

Finn’s dad (was he really his dad? It didn’t seem like he was really) is a big D bag and a criminal,

Finn lost his arm trying to save his D bag of a father (A flower grew there)

The Lich is a baby now (whaaaaat? when he was tranforming it seemed he would be a big monster)

Tree Trunks wanted a divorce

Selfies still exist in Ooo (Do they still have social media? This is a legitimate question)

All in all, I am now slightly scarred.

Hey! I’m so excited to say I hit 2.5k! I got a laptop for Christmas so what better to do then to make a follow forever! Thank you guys so much for finding my blog followable and for going on this crazy fangirl journey with me, you guys have stuck with me through url changes, which can be quit a change and I really appreciate it! Thank you guys for being there! ^_^ (Credit to the amazing sleep-sarcasm-youtube for making my follow forever picture for me thanks bae!)

Mutuals:

500daysoftroyler ~ another-year-of-troyler ~ ayyy-troyler ~ bryce-ashley ~ catwhiskercuties ~ classytroye ~ daddyoakley ~ danieeeellee ~ danwasonfireonce ~ destiel-with-the-doctor ~ donut-call-me-filly ~ emptyharts ~ fathoming-the-stars ~ flannelhowell (ily emily) ~ fluffytroyler ~ frantaconda ~ frantastic-lee ~ frantastictronler ~ funsivan ~ hyelloh-it-me ~ idkconcerts (ily emily) ~ inlovewithtroyler ~ itmetroye ~ itmetyler ~ just-in-case-iloveyou ~ lifeoftroye ~ lovemesomeyoutubetv ~ lovingoakley ~ mightymellet ~ mysweetlittlepill ~ obsessedwithtroyeswink ~ ohitroyler (ily Abby) ~ ohtrxyler ~ omgtroyetheboyblog ~ oreoakley ~ shirtlesstroye ~ smilingoakley ~ thatwinkingtwink ~ thesecretlifeoftroyler (ily Justin) ~ tillyanya ~ tillyheartstroye ~ tillyisthequeen (ily Brielle) ~ tillyoakley ~ tillys-love-heart ~ tro-yler ~ troye-oakslay ~ troye-sivan-mullet ~ troyeispretty ~ troyelover ~ troyes-lip-ring ~ troyesharmony ~ troyesivanoakley ~ troyesivanslay ~ troyesivian18 ~ troyesweave ~ troyeswinkthough ~ troyler-babe ~ troyler-feels ~ troylerisinyou ~ troylersnutella ~ trxyeisthelife (ily Kristine) ~ trxyesfangirl ~ trxyesquiff ~ twinkbottom ~ twinkleoakley ~ tyler-oakley-perfection ~ tyler-oakleys-pickle ~ tyler-oakslay ~ tyler-thequeen ~ tyleroakleyismybae ~ tylers-thequeen ~ tylersboogers ~ tylersranchdressing ~ tyluuhoakley ~ whatarethisblog ~ whatever-i-wish-to-be ~ whatsagarb ~ whoistroyeanyway ~ yourtroyleruniverse ~ youtube-5ever ~ youtubesociety

Special Messages:

darksoulmxtes (Kira): I love you and I miss you sooo much! But thank you sooo much for setting up my tumblr over a year ago and for introducing me to youtube. Its really changed my life for the better and its all cause of you, so thank you so much I love you! <333

engllland (Devin): I love you and I miss you and I wish we could talk more, but thank you for being a really good friend to me and being there for me. Your sooo amazing don’t forget that! <333 

mage0fmind (Kaitlyn): Ew hey nerd. Well I guess I love you too…:P Anyway you know I love and miss you and can’t wait to go see Bo Burnham with you! (Ps. I need to come over sometime n00b) Thanks for being a great friend and making me a good citizen by schooling me in social justice and different sexualities <333 

sleep-sarcasm-youtube (Hunter): Well you know I love you a ton and your one of my best friends and I can’t believe we’ve been friends for like a year already! Thanks for sticking around through everything and all my weirdness!  You’ve been there for be through a lot and I’ll never stop saying thank you! Your friendship mean the world to me! (Ew I better leave before I get sappy) 69696969 <333

troyes-fan-girl (Myah): I miss you and I love you so much! You’ve done so much for me you don’t realize! I wish we would talk more because your one of the best people ever and I want you to know that! Thanks for all the things you’ve ever said that made me smile while I was crying <333

tyleroakleysbooty (Ida): You know I love you to death! (I’m sorry were not booty buddies in our urls anymore but were still booty buddies in my heart haha) I can’t wait tell we can start FaceTiming again! I miss your face!!!! You mean the world to me and I hope you still know that! You’ve been there through a lot and I love you for that! Stay beautiful my love bug <333

The lovely people who inspire me and my blog/life everyday: tyleroakley ~ troyesivan ~ connorfranta ~ benjpierce ~ danisnotonfire ~ amazingphil ~ taylorswift ~ falloutboy 

irrelephantsays  asked:

so you know a lot about dogs can you help? I want to get a snake but which kind? I want pick-up-ability and maybe nonvenomous? Is a corn snake good for me? I don't know anything

corn snake is PERFECT pickle of starataur snakel, grand wissdome! ceep in mind snake can be handle but donut do too MUCH of or will get husshuss annoy and sad. Goops, Hare is just ONE guide… read dupp as much gobble gobble informition as to can do!! corn snek can live longs times!

And then once you dod LOTS OF READING that you are ready for-a-a-it’s a me! BUT WHICH PASTA SHAL BE CHOOSE

Belle Recipe: Southern Fried Pickles

Perfect appetizer!  YUUUUUM!

INGREDIENTS

For the Dipping Sauce
    • ½ cup mayonnaise
    • 2 tsp ketchup
    • 2 tsp horseradish
    • ½ tsp paprika
    • pinch cayenne pepper
For the Pickles
  • 2-3 cups canola or vegetable oil, for frying
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • ½ Tbsp hot sauce (I used Frank’s Red Hot)
  • ½ Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • ½ cup cornmeal
  • ½ Tbsp Cajun seasoning
  • 1 tsp chili powder
  • 1 (32 oz) jar dill pickles, cut into ½" slices (crinkle cut are ideal, but straight cut work, too)
  • salt, to taste

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Combine all of the ingredients for the Dipping Sauce and whisk together until well combined. Set aside.
  2. Pour oil into a deep fry pan until it is about 1” deep. Using a deep-fry thermometer, heat oil over medium-high heat until temperature reaches 375°F. Meanwhile, prepare a tray with 2 layers of paper towels; set aside. (Tip: If you don’t have a deep fry thermometer, then you can drop a pinch of flour into the oil. If it browns and bubbles immediately, then the oil is ready to go!)
  3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and eggs until well combined. Place pickle slices in the buttermilk mixture and set aside.
  4. In a separate medium bowl, combine the flour, cornmeal, Cajun seasoning, and chili powder.
  5. Transfer about 8-10 pickles from the buttermilk mixture to the bowl of dry ingredients. Stir until pickles are well coated. Shake any extra flour off of the pickles; carefully place pickles into the hot oil. Fry until golden brown, approximately 2-3 minutes. Remove pickles with a slotted metal spoon and place on tray of paper towels to dry.
  6. Allow oil to return to 375°F and repeat process with remaining pickles.
  7. Serve hot with the Dipping Sauce.