I’ve realized after some time,
that you can never fully make people
like you, and accept you
for who you are.
don’t even bother
some don’t even
get to know you,
or understand you,
for the interior
rather than the outer
parts that you show.
So stop letting yourself
get so caught up
in wanting so badly,
to impress people
who don’t deserve
You are worth, a lot.
And there will always be,
some, who are too blind
to see you for what you are.
In the end,
it won’t matter
because you do not deserve
having people in your life,
who can’t see you
for more than what
you choose to show.
Keen Malasarte, “This is my farewell to the friends that don’t live up to the name”
I still remember the moment I read that you had passed with such clarity. I spent so much time checking hundreds of sources just to confirm that it was real and that you weren’t just another victim of a celebrity death hoax. When I realized that it was true, I cried. And then I cried some more. And then I cried myself to sleep. From the moment I knew what an actor was and that I could have a favorite one, you were it. RV was the first movie I owned that was actually mine, that I could keep in my room and people had to ask my permission to borrow it and watch it. Hook was one of my favorite movies ever growing up as a child, and Jumanji used to scare the hell out of me before I realized how cool it was. Now I watch it every time it’s on TV.
For the longest time, I wondered how someone so funny and so seemingly happy could really be in such a dark place, but over the past year, I have finally begun to understand it. We make people laugh because it is easier to save someone else than it is to save yourself. It wasn’t hard for you to get an audience laughing because you did an impression or made a joke and the crowd was on their feet, but that wouldn’t work with you, would it? You were just Robin Williams and that didn’t help you like it helped the world. And often, people see that mask you wear and assume it’s who you really are, and they don’t care to take the time to see that you might be hurting on the inside too. You want to scream out for help but feel the need to keep this happy image everyone knows of you. That’s not easy. John Green talks a lot about imagining people complexly and the dangers of assuming that “a person is more than a person” and I think you are a perfect example of the consequences the world faces when we fall into that. We imagined you as a comedic genius and forgot that you were just a person.
When I was little, I made two lists of famous people I wanted to meet- one list of all the living, and one list of the dead. You were high on the list, I remember that, and it broke me up to think that I would have to move your name to the other list and that I had missed any real chance of ever meeting you. You taught me so much about making people laugh and how you can always be crazy because what’s the fun in being sane? From you, I learned that there is joy in being funny without being mean.
I’m sorry that we weren’t enough to brighten your world and bring you out of your dark place, but I know that ultimately, you are happier now than you were here, and I think that’s all any of us want anyway. I’ve been collecting all of your DVD’s now, picking some up at $5 flea markets and ignoring my brother when he tells me I’ll have to buy some pretty shitty movies in order to complete my collection. No matter how shitty a movie of yours could be, I will smile because you will be in it.
“Now let me dispel a few rumours so they don’t fester into facts. Yes, I too attended at ‘Hell-ton’ and survived. And no, at that time I was not the mental giant you see before you. I was the intellectual equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face.”
@morose-charlie and I have been writing this little DPS play (or our take on how situations could have gone) so we were thinking “hey what if we actually got people together to read this?” So we decided to reach out to tumblr to see if anyone else would be interested in joining in.
Currently, Neil and Knox are taken with my pal reading the stage directions (and we’ll have all the rest of the characters and a few random students and parents) and we’ll record it !!
So if you’re interested, contact one of us and we can send you the script
you did not break. remember that.
in the end, when night closes in
when the stars whisper goodbye,
remember who you are (who you were)
human ‘til the bitter end.
this world stole more than it was owed
it took lover after lover, life after life
but you were strong when it mattered
and you did not break.
DAPS as the crazy things people do for the Aesthetic (tm)
founding a super pretentious society of ethereal dandies and damned gods concealed under the facade of anonymous poets to light up the darkness of this forsaken world of ours through the sempiternal power of Art & Beauty - but also with the lowkey intention to gather an army large enough to conquer the entire universe and finally becoming The Pope (tm).
when drying the styx and making all the muses beg for more with your words doesn't feel pretentious enough anymore, the only way out is to create a whole new poetical genre, the shots poems (write a line and drink it) and be crowed their king.
that awkward moment when.. "day 28 at the MOMA - they still think i'm an artwork. an old lady this afternoon called me a timeless masterpiece."
having already bought 35 editions of the same book and keep finding (and buying) prettiest ones. and btw, the previously mentioned books are deeply glad of the fact.
finding the greatest pleasure in taking 20 minutes to artistically write ONE WORD with a ridiculously old quill and black/blue ink with the most pretentious calligraphy one is capable of. no time ever spent better.
being firmly convinced to have been that albatross baudelaire wrote about in a previous life and having no desire to know everyone else's opinion upon the matter.
"marry the beast, get the library" squad leader tbh.
drinking wine is overrated, drinking ink is the new aesthetic (tm)
illegally taking selfies with the local museum's paintings. the one time the mona lisa unmistakably smiled.
reading tsh for the third time and while at first it seamed such a sensational and philosophical, ethereal book, now not being able to stop laughing at everything.
when the character you take inspiration for your aesthetic from starts to look less themselves than you actually do.
having rough sex in a graveyard and passionately and (perhaps) accidentally killing your partner in the heat of the moment.
"there's nothing to writing. all you have to do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed." - in this case, literally.
selling your soul to the devil to make the portrait made by the nerd who has a crush on you growing old on your behalf and stay young, beautiful, evil and pretentious forever and ever tbh you smartass
when you consider michelangelo's david your BFF - but just because you hope the friendship would eventually turn into something *more*.
never picking a perfume only because of the scent, but much more because of THEAESTHETICOFTHEAMPULE let's be honest.
looking back at your sweetheart almost out the underworld on purpose so you can sing forever about how single, melancholic, beautiful and sad you actually are.
being asked to become the 10th muse by the gods and declining - the muses are not pretentious enough to have me.
opera and chill tbh
putting makeup and perfume on before going to sleep so in case of apocalypse in the middle of the night everyone would still believe you're an actual ethereal being fallen off elysium.
"i'll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color" club founder.
sometimes it seems almost like you carry the weight of the world upon your shoulders. except you actually do, and for the drama of it all.
"i'm sorry, i prefer ghosts' company over yours."
who needs water, when you've got champagne? actually, who needs to drink at all? stop drinking and eating, become an ethereal being made of pure energy of fabulousness.
being mistaken for a goddess by some jungle tribe and not being able in all candour to deny to be one. she lived happily ever after with human sacrifices.
pretending to be a wolf and howling at the moon. the moon howls back. you're now pals.
sending an astonishingly beautiful poem to a random blog to make the owner die of amazement, but not considering the previously mentioned blog owner was in fact the platonic idea of pretentious asshole and would have started a whole society of beings of the same kind to take over the universe tbh good job sweetheart
following daphne's example and FUCK EVERYTHING I'LL BECOME A BEAUTIFUL TREE AND PEOPLE WOULD WRITE SONNETS ABOUT ME. and if they don't, i will.
purity is the new black. except sin is the new purity. therefore, sin is the new black.
looking romantically at the stars is overrated. arguing with the stars shouting at them you are the one who shines harder is the new aesthetic. and if they don't agree, eat them and become The Last Star (tm) yourself.
never having an opinion on anything. that's the greatest and heaviest opinion of them all.
knowing you would never say no to a nice murder in the name of the greek and the aesthetic.
flying too close to the sun. the sun drops down dead. you were too hot.
"excuse me, ART you.." - "YES."
watching videos of fancy calligraphy or cakes artistically crafted and genuinely considering them PORN.
venus always rises and you always fall. in love. with them. looser.
too busy to fancily describing who writers are in elaborate and beautiful aphorisms to actually have time to write.
"did her lips stain yours with her glory?" - "yes. definitely."
sniffing every single attractive novel of the bookstore and being asked more than twice if you actually knew that wasn't in fact a perfumery.
talking to fictional characters more than you talk and consider actual human beings.
looking like the innocent flower, but being the dead poet under it tbh.
having a badass name everyone is jealous of and knowing it probably?
feeling the greatest of pleasure in saying too many "i told you so" even if you hadn't actually told anyone anything - you don't talk to people.
rejoicing in watching thunderstorms with the same excitement people watch the academy awards with.
braiding your hair in complicated fashions, but not to look pretty. braiding your hair to look terrifying and ready to battle. don't be a model, be a valkyrie.
you are too beautiful to wrap yourself up in warm clothes during winter. you are going to freeze, but for the aesthetic. you are freezing but being hot af.
taking long baths, ages long baths, petals covered baths, bathbombs filled baths, without even needing a bath. you had one an hour ago. com'on.
"how much savage coarseness is concealed in refined, cultivated manners?" you ask, while murdering the listener with a supernatural grace.
STARS! HIDE YOUR FIRES! LET NO LIGHT SEE MY BLACK AND DEEP PRETENTIOUSNESS.
putting flowers in your hair. everyone thinks you are cute. you're actually planning to become the queen of the underworld.
unfollowing people because they type "your" instead of "you're". being right in doing so.