the penalty box

Tonight I was working in the penalty box at my brother’s hockey game when one of the guys from the opposing team got a tripping penalty. So, as my job requires I have to get his jersey number so I can record it and put it up on the score board with his penalty. I asked him for his number and…well…he gave it to me. His phone number

Poor kid went beet red after I explained I meant his jersey number, not his phone number. I talked to him after the game to make sure he was all good and such, and he said, oh my god, “keep the number, just in case you’re ever looking for anything besides a jersey number.”

Smooth as fuck.

NHL!Bitty - Origin: From Samwell to Seattle

(I haven’t posted any of my background stuff on how Bitty gets from Samwell to the Schooners, so here’s my bullet point breakdown of how/when/why)

Part I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping | Part III - Post-Season


- Senior year, Bitty is the first openly gay NCAA captain of any men’s sport. When Samwell wins the Frozen Four, commentators start speculating on him being a draft prospect. Jack isn’t out yet.

- ‘Get Bittle in the NHL’ goes viral as an equality issue and the NHL is under pressure to recruit him, which creates this divisive ‘is he really good enough to play’/’the league is homophobic’ situation among fans and within the NHL.

- Bitty gets a lot of heat from all sides and Jack is really worried about his bf, who is living every coming-out fear Jack’s ever had. The Falcs can’t recruit Bitty because Jack has already disclosed their relationship to management, so Jack can’t protect Bitty.

- Things go downhill quickly after a hacker leaks a series of emails between the Commissioner and several owners, wherein he says an AHL franchise needs to ‘take one for the team’ and recruit Bittle so the NHL won’t have to deal with the ‘problem’ anymore. 

- The league course-corrects hard and is bending over backward to get Bitty to sign off on their official apology, but Bitty is disgusted by the whole process and doesn’t want to participate in the draft just to make the league look better. He isn’t planning to go pro at all, and now he’s hesitant to move to Providence with Jack, concerned that he might accidentally out Jack and land him with the same PR problems. 

- Bitty goes back to Georgia the summer after he graduates. 

- After things calm down a bit, Bitty gets a call from the new Schooners owner, a progressive tech billionaire who hates the NHL commissioner and genuinely wants to sell Bitty on Seattle. Unsure of himself and his relationship, Bitty agrees to the meeting… 

- And surprise! Bitty loves Seattle, the team, the ownership group, the food, everything. Even less of a surprise, the team loves Bitty and offers him a two-year contract with an option for renewal.

- The distance hurts, but it actually makes things easier because the risk of Jack being outed is much less if he’s not sharing an apartment with Bitty.  

- Bitty understands now why Jack needs to prove himself before he comes out, the same way Bitty needs to prove himself now. Jack deserves that buffer, and Bitty can help in his own small way.

- At the same time, after seeing how Bitty was treated Jack doesn’t want to come out until his boyfriend is established enough that he won’t be remembered as ‘that gay hockey player’ or ‘Jack Zimmermann’s boyfriend’. They’re just two dumb boys looking out for each other. They agree to revisit coming out together after Bitty’s two-year contract ends.

- Bitty’s rookie year is a hell of an adjustment, he billets with d-man called Carter Morin who is a year younger than Bitty but still has three pro seasons under his belt. Carter is convinced Bitty will be a target because of his size and sexuality, so he becomes obsessed with teaching Bitty how to ‘defend’ himself. This basically boils down to lessons in ‘how to play dirty and not get caught’.

- During these lessons, Bitty realizes he has a lot of anger he’s not dealing with. He’s pissed about being marginalized by the league, the press that won’t stay out of his and Jack’s business, he’s pissed he can’t publicly be with his boyfriend, he’s furious WBC are planning to picket his first home game. He has years of repressed southern rage and he doesn’t have to play nice to make bad people feel good. Not anymore.

- Off the ice Bitty is a perfect gentleman, does tons of outreach, fundraising, he visits hospitals and coaches day-camps, after that first season he’s a fan favorite, but on the ice Bitty slowly becomes a living embodiment of ‘float like a butterfly, sting like a bee’; he’s a good player, everyone knows it, but now he’s absolutely ruthless and spends his fair share of time in the penalty box, initially for defending himself, later for defending others. 

- During a particularly aggressive Schooners game, a commentator jokingly describes a post-fight Bitty as Bob’s spiritual successor, coining the term ‘Bad Bittle’. Bob is elated, Jack is horrified.

- Bitty ultimately makes friends on the team, builds a following, and becomes an integral part in building Seattle’s fledgling franchise into a championship team.

- Schooners take the cup in Bitty’s second year and Jack is surprisingly okay with his boyfriend getting a ring before him, it means they’re one step closer to being untouchable

- The Falconers dethrone the Schooners the following season and win the championship. Jack and Bitty come out/marry on Jack’s cup day. They don’t wear wedding bands, they wear their cup rings.

NHL!Bitty, Part X - Body Issue(s)

ESPN Magazine comes calling. Eric makes a creative choice. Jack gets excited.

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


Cold. Colder. Freezing.

“The Body Issue, Bits. You can’t turn this down, and if I did it for you, you have to do it for me.”

Actually, a three-hour naked photoshoot on ice is definitely something he can turn down, but he promised Jack he would participate if asked. Granted, it was a sleep-deprived, post-coital promise, but a promise just the same. 

A copy of the spread from Jack’s issue is already tastefully hung in the master bathroom of his townhouse. Eric will have to get his framed to match.

It’s not about the nudity, except, maybe it is a little bit, but he’s worked hard to get his body to look this good. His ass may never be in the same arena as Jack’s magnificent backside, but hell, if the whole world got to ogle Jack, why can’t Eric get some love, too? 

Keep reading

NHL 16

Author: Emmalee
Player/Team: Auston Matthews/Toronto Maple Leafs
Prompt: Can you do one With Auston Matthews? Just something cute at home or the rink or something like that please and thank you :)
Rating: Pg
Word Count: 700 Words
A/N: Enjoy this one! It is also very cute! I keep writing cute ones tonight wtf.
Thanks, loves!! Xx Em


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Bob collects terrible photos of Jack

Weird faces in the penalty-box? Laughing at a bad joke? Sneezing fit on the Falconers bench? That one time Jack scratched his face and it looked he was picking his nose? 

Bob hoards those candid moments like a dragon hoards treasure because he never wants to frame another picture where a photographer had to ask Jack to smile.

We Are Young: Chapter 4

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

——————–

Hometown pride was just as big as school pride when it came to hockey games in Rifthold.

The stadium was packed with the people. The bleachers on both sides of the ice were full, and Aelin was sure the whole town showed up to watch the first game on the season.

And what a game it was.

Second period was coming to an end, and both the Rifthold Royals and Skull Bay Pirates had yet to score a goal. Dorian was definitely living up to his nickname this game. But the Pirates’ goalie seemed to be just as good.

The tension in the arena was thick. Everyone was waiting for someone to score that first goal. And it only grew thicker every time the puck got close to a net.

But though the scoring was lacking, the fights and penalties definitely weren’t.

If Aelin didn’t know any better, she’d think the only reason Fenrys, Aedion, and Lorcan were on the team in the first place was to pick fights. They spent more time throwing punches and sitting in the penalty box than they did actually playing the game.

“If he wanted to throw punches all day long,” Lysandra watched with narrowed eyes as the referee broke up another fight between Aedion and one of the Pirates players. “He should have just joined wrestling.”

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hockey asks
  1. Favorite team?
  2. Second favorite team?
  3. Team you love to hate?
  4. Team you just hate?
  5. Team you think is the best in the league right now?
  6. Top three players on your favorite team?
  7. Top three players NOT on your favorite team?
  8. Three players you like on teams you can’t stand?
  9. Players you hate on teams you like?
  10. Prettiest uniforms?
  11. Best venue?
  12. Best hair?
  13. Best body?
  14. Best eyes?
  15. Best shot?
  16. Best goaltender?
  17. Favorite line?
  18. Dream line (mix and match players from teams)?
  19. Head-to-head matchup you’d most want to see?
  20. Most overrated?
  21. Most underrated?
  22. Prettiest goal you ever saw?
  23. Worst/best hit you ever saw?
  24. Who on your team is:
    1. Eternal  Sunshine?
    2. Team Dad?
    3. Team Mom?
    4. Team Baby/Babies?
    5. The class clown?
    6. The quiet one?
    7. The serious one?
    8. The hothead?
  25. Player on the feeder team you most want to get called up?
  26. Player who’s always scratched who ought to be played more?
  27. Player who always plays who ought to be scratched more?
  28. Best duo?
  29. OTP?
  30. OT3+?
  31. Rarepair?
  32. Guy you want desperately to slash but can’t for some reason (Married, no good pair, etc.)
  33. Guy who is (or should be) the fandom/team bicycle?
  34. Player you most wish would get traded to your team?
  35. Player you most wish would get traded to another team?
  36. Most likely to be in the penalty box at any moment?
  37. Most likely to send another player to the penalty box?
  38. Gets away with murder award (never gets penalties but should)?
  39. Just has a guilty face award (gets penalties but shouldn’t)?
  40. Nicest guy on the team?
  41. Best with fans?
  42. Best with the press?
  43. Hockey robot award (can’t say anything but “get pucks to the net” in front of a camera)?
  44. Most likely to be photographed with small children?
  45. Most likely to be photographed with small animals?
  46. Most likely to be photographed shirtless in a hot tub with starlets?
  47. Most likely to cry at movies?
  48. Most likely to get in bar fights unrelated to hockey?
  49. Most likely to have Mafia ties?
  50. Rising star award?
  51. Most improved award?
NHL Awards explained

Someone asked me to go through each Award given at the NHL awards and explain how they’re given and what they’re for so instead of answering an ask I decided to make a separate post.

All these awards are based on the regular season only and votes are cast before the playoffs even begin.

Hart Memorial Trophy

This is the leading lady of the NHL Awards. The Hart Memorial Trophy is in essence the MVP award. It was first awarded in 1924 and is voted on by the Hockey Writers Association. Each member of this association votes for a first, second, and third place winner and they are all added up with first place votes weighing more then third and so on. This association votes on most of the awards. It officialy goes to the player most valuable to their team and does not necessarily go to the best player in the league, although most of the time it does.

Lady Byng Memorial Trophy

This trophy basically goes to the most gentlemanly player in the league. Imagine playing a sport know for being so rude you award players who are nice. It was donated to the lead by Lady Byng of Vimy in the 1920′s. Anze Kopitar is the current holder of the award, and like a lot of awards the winner is chosen by the Hockey Writers Association. A lot of the time it goes to a player with the highest playing ability matched with the lowest penalty box score. Usually theyre a top 6 forward on a team and some only go to the penalty box once or twice all season.

Vezina Trophy

This is another big ticket, the Vezina trophy is the MVP but for goalies. Goalies can still win the Hart, Carey Price for instance one both in a single year. The trophy is named after a goaltender for the montreal canadiens who played for the club from 1910-1925. It was first awarded in 1927 and the current holder is Braden Holtby of the Washington Capitals. It’s generally used as a good measure to how good a goaltender is, which may sound weird to clarify but a lot of these awards don’t measure what they  say they do according to critics. However, the Vezina is pretty straight forward. 

Calder Memorial Trophy

the Calder is another headliner at the NHL Awards because it’s the MVP for rookies. It is named after Frank Calder who was the first ever president for the NHL. The Oldest ever player to win the calder was 31 years old, as he played in the KHL for most of the career before playing his rookie season in the NHL. After that they changed the rules so only rookie players under 26 as of September 15th of that year, could win the calder. This is also voted on by the Hockey Writers Association.

Art Ross Trophy

This one is different because this is not a trophy that is voted on it’s earned. The Art Ross Trophy goes to the player with the most points at the end of the season. It was donated to the league by Art Ross who was a GM and coach for the Boston Bruins until the mid 50′s.

James Norris Memorial Trophy

this is one that I personally don’t really like. The Norris trophy is supposed to be a sort of MVP for defensemen but it doesn’t really measure good defensemen it measures defensemen who score a lot. A lot of people would tell you that a defenders job is not to be a forward. It was named after James Norris who was the owner of the red wings from the 30′s to 1952. Bobby Orr won the award 8 straight seasons. The winner is chosen by the Hockey Writers Association.

Bill Masterton Trophy

This trophy is awarded to the player who shows the most perseverance and dedication to hockey. This trophy tends to start a lot of controversy because people like to think it’s the award that goes to the player who was closer to dying. They obviously do not see how terrible it is to award a player for almost dying. But that’s another conversation. It was named after Bill Masterton, a North Stars player who died after he sustained an injury in a hockey game. The trophy has been around since the 60′s. The winner is chosen by the Hockey Writers Association.

Ted Lindsay Award

This is a unique one, and it’s usually paired with the Hart trophy but not always. Basically it’s another MVP award except the big difference is that this award is voted on by the NHLPA, basically the players vote on the MVP. It was called the Lester B Pearson award but in 2010 they renamed it after Red Wings great Ted Lindsay.

 Jack Adams Award

The Jack Adams is another award I don’t like much. It’s awarded to the best coach at the end of the regular season. But it usually ends up being the coach that over-preformed or a coach of a team that over-preformed. For me it’s usually the “wow we didn’t think your team would be this good” award. Usually the team that wins it baffles us so much that it could only be the coach. This though means coaches like Quenneville only won it once,a nd he was with the Blues at the time. Other coaches like Alain Vigneault have never won it after leading his team to the President’s trophy and now rehauling the New York Rangers. instead it goes to guys like John Tortorella, who was being paid not to coach the canucks for a bit. And Dan Bylsma who was fired from the team he won it with because of how poorly the team was preforming. My favorite was Patrick Roy, who won it in 2014 and 2 years later quit because he was doing nothing. Basically, in my opinion, it’s like another Vezina trophy except the goalie gets no credit. The only time it really semed to actually go to the best coach recently was this past winner was Barry Trotz.

Frank J Selke Trophy

I like to call this trophy the Bergy because he’s won it 3 times and has been nominated almost every other year he’s been eligible for it. This award, like most of them, is voted on by the Hockey Writers Association. It goes to the best two-way forward. Basically a high scoring player who is also defensively inclined. Players usually up for this award are like Bergeron, Toews, Kopitar, last year there was also Ryan Kesler ect. Basically the guys who aren’t high scorers but big names anyway on their team. It’s been awarded since about 1977

William M Jennings Trophy

This is another award that is based on stats and is therefore earned differently than the other ones. This trophy goes to the best goalie tandem, or the goalies of the team with the best goal for.  As in if your team lets in the least amount of goals during a season both goalies will receive this award. It’s a little goofy in my opinion because goal differential is a team stat but i like the idea of multiple goalie awards.

King Clancy Memorial Trophy

This award is awarded to the player who exemplifies leadership on and off the ice and has made a humanitarian contribution to their community. This usually goes to players who have some sort of leadership place on their team whether with an A or a C but who also is known for charity and programs for their community. It’s one of the two Charity awards. It is voted on by the Hockey Writers Association.

NHL Foundation Player Award

This award is the other charity award. Basically this award goes to the player who applies the “values of hockey to enrich their community.” The winner of this award gets a 25,000 check donated to a charity of their choice from the NHL.

Maurice “Rocket” Richard Trophy

Soon their going to change this one to the Alex Ovechkin trophy, just kidding kind of not really. Anyway this one is another one based on stats. the Rocket Richard Trophy is awarded to the highest goal scorer that year. This is just based on goals and not on points total like the Art Ross is. Rocket Richard was the first ever NHL player to hit 50 goals in a single season and he’s an iconic Montreal Canadiens player. The Habs donated this award to the league in 1998 and it was first awarded in 1999 to Teemu Selanne. And I joked a little at the beginning but Ovechkin has a record 6 Rockey Richard trophies

Mark Messier Leadership Award

This is a unique award because the winner for this award is chosen by Mark Messier himself, who also awards it personally to the winner on stage. The winner of the Messier Leadership Award is usually a captain who best shows leadership skills on and off the ice for his team.

The NHL General Manager Award

This one is pretty self explanatory. IT is awarded to the best general manager of the year. It has been awarded since 2010 and has not been given to someone more than once. the winner is chosen by a panel of all the general manages, a few executives and a few media members. 

More about Kent Parson’s absolute hatred of Patrick Kane: that time they were both invited to test out NHL 17 on xbox and all Kent did was fight Kane. He didn’t even try to play properly

Kane: “We’re on the same team! I didn’t even know you could do that!”

Parse: *Comes out of the penalty box with his gloves already off and heads straight for Kane’s character*