the pegleg

100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

5

A ship full of boys needs a precious gem to help find their lost mentor, but the Princess who owns it won’t give it up without a fight. The simple Search and Rescue mission soon becomes an adventure holding the fate of the entire Poseidon Ocean in the hands of a ship full of children.

Zack Underwood: Stand-in-Captain of the Chronological Voyager (Chrono for short). His real position is First Mate to the ship’s owner, Sir Ortin Mahlson, the greatest adventurer in the Seven Seas. Native from the Desecrated Island of Nila, he comes from humble roots, the son of the Royal Fitter and Seamstress. He holds resentment to anyone rich (Noblemen, besides the Royals). Zack was the first of many of Mahlson’s boy students, when the man decided to begin teaching boys how to sail and the wonders of the Seas in the Seven Kingoms. Zack has been his student since he was 4, and knows the most of all the young crew about Mahlson’s journals and studies, and has a vast knowledge of the seas. He is proud and secretive, and only the crew knows why he is so cautious around the newcomer. His pride is challenged when Princess Melissa refuses to give him the Gem he needs to find Mahlson, and he finds himself having to work with a stubborn yet pretty Royal.

Milo Murphy: Orphan found on the Island of Auria. While Zack is proud and strict, Milo is the optimism needed on their journey. And he is for good reason, being cursed since birth. Found with a stray puppy by Zack at the age of 4, Milo has been part of Mahlson’s students since the beginning, and has known nothing but the Chrono as his home. Milo is nimble, and his alertness has gotten the Chrono out of many a sticky situation. While liked by the entire crew, only Zack is brave enough to spend more than five minutes within twelve feet of Milo (that isn’t to say Zack isn’t aware of the Murphy Curse; he just sets it aside half the time because they’re best friends). When Melissa joins the crew, Milo immediately befriends her, much to Zack’s dismay.

Princess Melissa Chase: Princess and only daughter of the King of Soleah, the Island Ruled by the Daylight and the Seven Kingdoms’ Strongest Defense against outside foes. She longs for adventures beyond her Island. Her father has become anxious, and this keeps him busy and away from her. Her only companion is her handmaiden Amanda, and the High Princess, daughter of the High Rulers of the Seven Seas. That is, until she “kidnaps herself” aboard the Chrono, striking a deal with the young Captain for the Gem passed down from her father. Learning that the ship belongs to her Hero and Inspiration, Sir Mahlson, Melissa refuses to leave. She enjoys challenging Zack and competing with him, and thinks only of adventure, until she makes a discovery that threatens the friendship between Zack and Milo, and the safety of their ship.

*****

And yes, Diogee has 4 peglegs.

@spatziline​ and I will eventually give away more of this AU, which includes several adventures and two giant ones. Zack and Meli’s friendship is reversed in this au, where Zack has known Milo forever instead of Meli. Many more MML characters will show up. We also have music to go with everything, and a Map of the Seven Islands.

More BG info to come with more fun of course 8D

HAMILTON COLLEGE AU HEADCANONS: PART 1

Alexander Hamilton

-Major in law 

-is on team no sleep

-gets in a lot of fights

-bi-curious bean

-confused on who he loves more John,Thomas, or Eliza

-Always gets advice from Peggy but never listens to her.

-Hangs out with Burr to go chick hunting

-Hairstyle:ponytail, short hair (aka the current hairstyle of lin)

-Wears glasses occasionally

-Hoodies,Baggy pants,converse is his go-to outfit

-Is a part of the school newspaper

-Classic music is his thing.

-Junior

-new kid


John Laurens

-Has a pet turtle 

-room mates with Alexander,Lafayette, and Hercules

-Has a small crush on Peggy

-Totally crushing on Alex 

-Football player, jersey number 12

-Shirts with collars and shorts are his thing.

-Junior

-listens to reggae


Lafayette

-The exchange student

-Part of the french club 

-Spits hot bars every night at the underground club in their campus 

-Sophomore 

-Football player,jersey number 05

-Has the flag of france hanged on their dorm

-Dresses elegantly 

-Starbucks is his bestfriend

-drinks heavily 

-picky eater


Hercules Mulligan

-The gentle jock

-Junior

-the one who runs around the field when their school wins a game 

-Wears beanies or bandanas

-is a fan of the incredible hulk

-weightlifting is his thing

-always says the word “BRAH”

-Heavy drinkers with Lafayette and John Laurens

-In the stalker squad with Peggy and Angelica (occasionally Eliza joins in)


Aaron Burr

-the student who is the welcoming committee 

-Frenemies with Alexander

-calls Alexander “lex” or “zooANDER”

-All around advice giver 

-does everything for his family

-devoted 

-chickhunter

-reliable with the LADIES


Angelica Schuyler

-Senior 

-That feminist 

-Rich bish 1

-Close friends with Lafayette (Best Fashion Friends!)

-The mom friend

-In the stalker squad

-Listens to girl artists or bands with female fronted vocals

-Crop tops are her thing 

-Roast queen

-Has a pink lamborghini 

-Known as the queen B of the campus

- Sorority Leader


Eliza Schuyler

-Junior

-Wears that longsleeve shirt underneath that vest sweater  and wears those shoes with those leggings. (cue Angelica cringing) 

-that hot nerd 

-Rich bish 2

-cinnamon roll

-met Alexander in the football field

-a raging homosexual when drunk

-has a blue lamborghini 

-Listens to mainstream rappers(like drake and the weeknd) and K-pop (No one even knows)

-More on western music.

-Doesn’t swear but passive aggressive af

-Burns ex’s letters.


Peggy Schuyler

-Sophomore 

-Has terrible fashion sense 

-no one knows her except for Burr and Laurens 

-Rich Bish 3

-Meme lover 

-Course related to Music

-goes by the name DJ PegLeg

-A literal sunshine 

-Gives good advice to Alexander

-HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON LAURENS 

6

favourite tropes + THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE

She’s a princess and he’s a pirate. Maybe he’s less of the parrot and pegleg variety, and just a rebel, or a thief. Maybe she’s not Disney so much as a Rebellious Princess. Heck, maybe she’s not even a princess, but an upper class gal.

anonymous asked:

Jamilton 92?

There was a party at the dead of winter at 1780 Albany Road, where one of the largest houses on the street was emptied of adults and filled with college students raging over cheap booze and loud music. “Daddy said not to have people over while he’s out of town.” Peggy screamed over the music as Angelica and Eliza stared down at the hundreds of people gathered for their end of the fall term party. 

“Daddy doesn’t need to know.” Angelica purred, deciding to join the crowd when Maria Cosway walked across the living room to the kitchen. Angelica found her chance to ask out the pretty art student.

“Daddy said no boys are allowed!” She urged as Eliza shook her head and booped Peggy’s nose lovingly. 

“Like I said you’re free to go to your room and hide out for the rest of the night.” The middle sister said to her youngest sister who was a freshman in college. “If you do join, you best not touch the alcohol.” 

“Then whats the point of me even being part of this.” Peggy rolled her eyes and grumpily took off to her room. Peggy didn’t need to be part of the party anyway. She sat up in her room for sometime, hearing the rumble of feet coming up and down the stairs. Peggy had opened up youtube and started looking over make up gurus when her door opened and a very pale and dazed looking man with large, mane like hair hiccuped. 

“Where is your bathroom?” 

“Two doors down.” She motioned and without a thanks he left in a hurry. After five minutes her door opened again, this time to a familiar face. “Alleeex, tell me you brought me some beer.” 

“Pegleg I love you, but you’re under age.” Not that had stopped Alex when he was eighteen. “Also Angelica is in the kitchen, I don’t want to give her a reason to slaughter me with a meat caviler.”

“Ugh, fine, what do you need.” 

“Need to whizz, where is the bathroom again?” 

“Two doors down but–” She was too late, Alex disappeared down the hall closing the door behind him. “…someone is already in there I think…” Oh well, she turned back to her video and thought nothing of it


Alexander was buzzed and in need to empty his bladder he was about to unbuckle his pants as he opened the door when he screeched at the side of a black mass of hair hunched over the toilet bowl. It took him a good five minutes to realize there was a body that belonged to that hair and another minute to register who that body was. “Ugh.” Of course it was Jefferson. Of course he was invited to the party because the spoiled, popular shit stain from his Political Science AND Creative Writing class was literally everywhere. It was bad enough he tainted Hamilton’s two favorite classes. “Assferson what are you–” 

BLEEERRRRHHHHHGGGGG

Alex took a step back and scrunched up his face. “Are you drunk?” 

“N-No” Thomas whimpered into the toilet bowl. “J-Just go…B-bleh!” He dry heaved into the toilet, his face practically inside of the bowl at this point. Alexander had have the mind to go. His body turned as if to leave when he heard Thomas groan. Pathetic. Where were his friends? The smooth talking, somewhat intelligent man had always one or two lackeys with him. Now alone? 

If it were him he’d have his friends with him right now. If this were him he wouldn’t have wanted to be alone. “Fffff” it would be nice for the rich guy to owe him one…it would be real nice actually… 

Thomas felt his whole world spin, his hair full and coiled was sticking dangerously close to his clammy face and the toilet water. He felt another wave of nauseous hit him just in time as two hands carefully pulled back his forest of hair from his face and allowed him a little more room to up chuck the contents of his stomach. 

“I never thought I’d see the day, Thomas Jefferson gets ‘white girl wasted’“ 

“Shut—it” 

Hamilton laughed bitterly at him, but he stood there, back hunched over uncomfortably as he held Thomas’s hair in a ponytail with his hands. His hair felt amazing, he didn’t think such a coiled and wired textured curl could feel so soft at the same time. He tried not to think of Thomas’s great hair mainly because Thomas had too many ‘great’ things about him that made it hard for Alex to form a decent case against him most days. 

“Hamilton…” 

“What?” 

Thomas turned his head, his eyes were like two black holes, sucking up all the light in the world. Holes that could end worlds, swallow galaxies and beings whole. He felt them suck him in, suck in all the light in his life so all he was staring at were two ,watery blacken pits that led no where…mysteriously…but had so much depth Alexander’s curiosity almost begged him to dive in and find where blackholes led. “Thank you” he spoke softly, his sweat drenched face was so soft and unhinged he seemed so …feeble. 

For a moment Alexander felt the urge to pee and the buzz of booze leave him. He was wide awake and somewhat at a loss for words. “Uh…your welcome…Lemme…get …uh Madison or something.” 

“No…just….stay here for a minute, I’ll be fine…” 

So he stayed. 

Peggy peeked into the bathroom and chuckled to herself, snapping a picture for her snapchat. “I smell a love story~ or a really shitty night.” 

The Birds and the Bees- Meihem One-Shot (NSFW)

The question had come from nowhere.

Mei hadn’t been expecting it at all, not while she was laying in bed still panting and sweating, her body only just starting to cool from their third round of the night.

Junkrat had returned from a mission in Egypt, arriving on a ship that had landed earlier that evening after almost four weeks away. The junker had shoved his way past his colleagues, waved Roadhog off as his bodyguard headed for the cafeteria, made a beeline for Mei’s dorms, and had set upon her like a man possessed as soon as she’d barely opened the door. That had been hours ago, and the junker’s libido was finally starting to slow down, allowing Mei to at least catch her breath. She was an absolute mess, her hair damp and sticking out in all directions, her body flushed pink and glistening with perspiration, and the insides of her thighs were still wet and sticky. He had just rolled off her in a similar state of disarray, though disarray was hardly an unusual state for him in the first place. He was grinning as always, laying sprawled on his back next to the dazed woman atop her rumpled snowflake sheets.

There was finally room for something else in his brain, able to think of something other than sex. Well, the thoughts were still sex-related, but he wasn’t really sure where they had come from. He’d taken Mei to bed countless times since their first night together and he’d never really thought of it before. He’d been focused on…other things at the time. Still, the thought he had was intriguing. Really, it was a good question, he decided, so he turned to her and he asked it.

“Oi, Mei.”

“Mm?” She gave a little moan next to him, eyes closed and barely listening.

“Did ya ever want a baby?”

Keep reading

this picture really is timeless because

  • a guy with a pegleg is driving a car
  • his own bodyguard is like “yea this is fine, and safe”
  • he looks like that picture of the driver thinking about dick
  • he’s wearing a HUGE tire with spikes on his back instead of, like, putting it in the backseat or something
  • the artist forgot junkrat was missing an arm
Like Canned Peaches- (NSFW Meihem)

“Brrrr! I get cold just lookin’ at ya!”

He’d waited hopefully for a response to his attempt at casual conversation, brows lifted as he stared intently at the irritated woman in the fluffy parka who was clearly doing her best not to pay any attention to him. He’d even offered his most winning smile, the kind with slightly less teeth, before she fully turned towards him and sternly pushed her glasses up with one gloved finger. Her adorable little lips had pursed as she lifted her nose in the air and finally, finally spoke directly to him.

“Then you should look somewhere else!”

That had been their first real interaction. Mei turned him down flat.

But then again, that had hardly been the first time Junkrat had been turned down flat by the object of his attentions. In fact, he was turned down flat most of the time, and knew the only solution was to keep trying. He’d made several attempts after that one, each just as unsuccessful as the last, and took increasingly desperate measures to make her look his way, maybe give him another irked scowl, or fling more of her mild insults at him. The accusations of being a horrible, no-good bully didn’t really bother him. He’d been called much worse than that over the years, with much more colorful junker vernacular. But he couldn’t help but notice that he was the only one in the entire group to earn that particular brand of ire. So, he figured that in his own strange way, he must have been special to her. And he liked that idea very much, being special to her.

She was everything unknown to him; she was quiet where he was loud, she was soft and curvy where he was gaunt skin and bones, she used ice just as he used fire, and she was softspoken and polite where he was raucous and blunt. She had little apple-cheeks that dimpled when she smiled, even if it was never at him, and her little giggles sounded like tinkling bells that could grab his attention even through the constant ringing in both his ears. She even smelled nice, from what he’d been able to whiff of her before her giant Russian brick shithouse of a friend had grabbed his head and thrown him in the opposite direction, like vanilla extract that came in those little bottles that smelled wonderful but didn’t taste so wonderful, or flowers he didn’t know the name of.

He’d never really seen a woman like her in person before. The women in the Outback were much like the men of the Outback; their brains just as baked as their half-starved bodies, with vicious demeanors, loud voices, leathery tits, and cunts that felt like being in the inside of a baseball glove. The sheilas on the covers of the magazines (at least the human ones, any pictures of omnic women were promptly destroyed with prejudice) were always almost as scrawny as the women in the Outback, always had their eyes closed or looked vacantly confused, and usually were half covered with text about the ten most beneficial yogurts or other things that women seemed to worry about in the outside world. Occasionally he’d get his grimy claws on the good kind of magazine, the ones where they arched their backs and got their tits out and bit their fingers and looked at him real seductive-like, but he usually spent more time trying peel the sticky pages apart without ripping the good bits, and trying not to imagine the previous owner as he did so.

And then there was Mei, who was different from everyone in the best possible way he could think of, and he wished she didn’t hate him so much.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I recently found your blog and I absolutely love it!! I have a prompt idea for Zenyatta, Junkrat, Roadhog, and Mercy- how would they react to a s/o who was blind? Thank you and love your blog! ✌️

I’ve done a few with blind reader, Prompt with Genji, Zenyatta and McCree here. NSFW prompt with Mercy and Pharah here.


Zenyatta


You heard the hum of his body before he announced himself, making his orbs chime as he grew near. You tilted your head towards him and smiled, Zenyatta humming a greeting.

“How is the day so far?” he asked, resting his hand on your shoulder.

“It has been a quiet day,” you said, before an amused smile spreading across your face, “Not sure about the weather.”

“It’s threatening to rain,” he said and you just nodded.

“I would like it to,” you said and he hummed in response, “I like the sound.”

“I would like that as well,” he said, imagining the two of you staring out in silence to the sound of rain.

Junkrat


You always knew where he was, his body radiated noise. If you couldn’t hear that telltale thump of his pegleg he was usually murmuring something under his breath. He also seemed unaware of this, making him give a shock whenever you turned around before he greeted you.

“Darl,” he said, you hearing him leap into the air, “Scared the absolute piss out of me.”

“Well, clean it up.” you deadpanned and he sat down next to you.

“’Hog asked how you are,” he said, “He’s surprisingly fond of you.”

You just hummed in response and he leant against your shoulder, the smell of ash tickling your nose.

“We don’t do this enough,” he said and you tilted your head, “Just sit here.”

“That’s because you can’t,” you said, already sensing that he was aching to get up.

“Yer right,” he got up, “C’mon let’s go bug Roady.”

Roadhog


You prepared yourself mentally as you heard Roadhog’s breathing come towards you, knowing that he was probably going to lift you up to his shoulders. It always surprised you,  even though you knew it was coming. 

You gave a short screech as you went up, resting on his shoulders. His chest rumbled with a chuckle at your surprise.

“You’re always surprised,” he said, “I don’t even think you ave a problem.”

“It’s just,” you said, “I’m suddenly up high.”

He just laughed in response and you felt him starting to walk, not knowing why he did this. Maybe he just enjoyed your closeness and the way he can slide a hand a little too high on your thighs.

You just leant back a slight breeze ruffling through your hair, your chest growing warm at how safe you felt with him. His hand went a little too high and you instinctively slapped it, Roadhog just grunting in response.

Mercy


Your cane tapped against the ground, making sure the path in front of you was clear. You followed the scent of antiseptic and entered the medbay after locating the door. 

You knocked on the wall and you hear Mercy turn around, you raising a hand in greeting. She stood up and walked towards you, her heels clicking against the ground.

“It a good time?” you asked leaning on your cane and she rested a hand on your shoulder.

“Yes,” she said, “there’s a lull, want to grab coffee?”

“That’s why I’m here,” you smiled and she wrapped her arm around yours, making you revel in the closeness.

The two of you meandered off, going to get coffee.

youtube

Ah, a nice HQ video of that glorious, glorious kiss scene posted by none other than ABC.  Life it good.