the peer group

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Bi+/Disability* Support Group Community Forum

Monday, December 5th
6:00 – 8:00PM
Boston Living Center | 29 Stanhope Street, Boston | 2nd floor conference room

The Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) has facilitated or been affiliated with several bi-specific social and support groups in the Greater Boston Area over the past 30 years. In working to continue meeting the needs of our local bisexual+ community, the BRC is hosting a community forum to discuss potentially starting a peer-facilitated support group for individuals who identify as bi+ and as a person with a disability*

The purpose of this meeting is to learn more about our diverse community and collect thoughts or views on starting a bi+/disability* support group. Those who attend the community forum are encouraged to provide feedback and ideas regarding this potential group, including but not limited to, what they would like to see in such a group (e.g. discussion topics, preferred location, frequency of meetings, overall logistics & flow) as well as past experiences with similar groups (e.g. what has worked well vs. what hasn’t worked well).

To maintain a safe and supportive space for members of our bi+ and disability* community, this community forum will only be open to individuals who identify as a person with a disability*

Food and refreshments will be served. For more information, or to ask any questions, please contact brc@biresource.net

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bisexual+ (e.g. bisexual, pansexual, fluid, no label, queer, questioning)
disability* (e.g. physical, invisible, developmental, learning, mental)

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Anthony Boyle speaks about Scorpius Malfoy (contains minor spoilers!):

Scorpius in the beginning, has grown up in isolation in the Malfoy Manor and hasn’t really spoken to anyone in his peer group - he’s just been alone with his books. Reading about Harry Potter and Albus and all these different people… and suddenly Albus comes into the carriage and it’s the first time he’s ever really socialised with someone from his peer group without a family member/supervisor there, and so he has a bit of a panic. He just wants to be his friend immediately. Rose Granger-Weasley doesn’t take too kindly to him, thinks he’s a bit odd (because he is). But Albus quite likes him, and so the friendship begins from there. (x)

“Indians are very racist. It’s deeply ingrained. But there is so much pressure by peer groups, magazines, billboards and TV adverts that perpetuate this idea that fair is the ideal. 

They always say to me: ‘Don’t worry, we will lighten you, we’re really good at it,’ as a reassurance. It’s perpetuating a stereotype that only fair-skinned women can be educated and successful.

I want people to be comfortable in their own skin and realize that there is more to life than skin colour. 

Shah Rukh Khan is saying that to be successful you have to be fair. Don’t these people have any kind of conscience? You can’t be naive; you know what kind of impact you have and yet you send out the message that says: ‘Forget about working hard, it’s about skin colour.”

- Nandita Das 

the rough plan is to ditch this site for the most part in a few months & focus on finding a supportive peer group offline or at least in personal connections that exist beyond social media…and to create a portfolio for myself and get this shit..rollin. i’m really torn about the idea of leaving behind an audience of 18,000 people though that’s what’s so difficult about the “quit social media to be successful” thing because having platforms and constant feedback is really fun and useful. there are so many things that i’m like Over though…mostly like…selfies…and oversharing generally. and just putting all the details of my life online like i sat back the other day and realized how weird that is. but i AM an internet user and i just want to go to the more exciting corners of the internet…to me everything is happening online and the idea of not being plugged in in some way is stupid n self-sabotaging to an extent. also I have yet to find a platform that allows for easy sharing and discussion of art images but I’m considering bringing pre-rookie mag era moodboard pic collages back because a bitch loves to mine visual culture 

Avoidant (or Anxious) Personality Disorder

This is very similar to generalized social phobia. Those with the disorder think of themselves as being inadequate, unlikeable and socially inept. They fear being rejected, criticised or ridiculed and would rather avoid most social situations. The reasons can differ may be related to emotional neglect and peer group rejection in childhood and/ or adolescence. Symptoms may include the following:

- Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism

- Self-imposed social isolation

- Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations. (However, the person still has a strong desire for close and meaningful relationships)

- May avoid physical contact with others (because it is associated with emotional or physical pain)

- Painful feelings of inadequacy

- Poor self-esteem

- Intense feelings of self consciousness

- Self hatred or self-loathing

- Mistrust of others

- Emotional distancing/ fear of intimacy

- Highly critical of their ability to relate naturally and appropriately to others

- Do not feel they can connect with others (although others may view them as easy to relate to)

- Intense feelings of inferiority.

- In more extreme cases, may suffer from agoraphobia.

Treatment approaches include social skills training, cognitive therapy, gradually increasing exposure to social situations, group therapy and, occasionally, drug therapy. Gaining and keeping the client’s trust is essential for progress to be made.

like–friendships are a dynamic, unscripted, unforced thing that occurs over a series of shared experiences and interests, with a healthy helping of personality compatibility.
You can’t approach friendship like a job application. You can’t sell your worth to a person with a resume of why you’d be great bros. You can’t force “nice gestures” on a person and expect that by doing so, someone owes you a friendship. The recipient can be certainly and genuinely grateful, but this does not a friendship make.

You either share in experiences that develop a bond, or you don’t. You either strike up conversations that are mutually engaging, or you don’t. Sending gifts and praise and expecting it to open up a friendship is a one sided and ineffective way to go about it.
Idolizing, romanticizing, or looking to gain something out of the relationship (be it material goods, an ego boosting, or getting a foot into a desired peer group) is a good way to make sure the friendship never happens or is extremely superficial, empty, and unfulfilling.

If someone neglects to be your friend, it’s probably not because they hate you (unless expressed otherwise), it’s usually some mixture of having incompatible personalities, differing tastes, not knowing who you are or that you actually want to be friends, a lack in a genuinely shared interest, no memorable shared experiences, or–heaven forbid–the ‘power dynamic’ between you feels awkward and unbalanced (see ‘idolizing/romanticizing’).
Most of these are likely equate to some uncomfortable/unnatural interactions but none of them equate automatically to any form of dislike or loathing. Incompatibilities are a common, normal thing, and they occur for a wide variety of reasons. And, while I believe it’s important to be kind, no one owes you their friendship.

Remember that kindness/respect and friendship are not the same thing.

Jupiter in Sagittarius (abridged version)

Often wise beyond their years and blessed in many departments. This peer group can be seen winning at life if not pushing their luck as far as it will stretch. Sometimes their luck snaps and down they go, but if they can learn to be grateful for their unusual gifts they never stop surprising with how good they can actually have it.  
The fortunate ones come into the world with a sublime understanding of how it all works. It’s as if in some other life they went through so much suffering that they were born with a specific type of cynicism that says “this is all a big joke, just try to get the most of it.” They are old souls who remain young, vital, and passionately experiencing life. They can be nihilistic but more frequently they are full of energy and sophistication. People are drawn to them and want to know what they know.  

Love yourself before you love someone else, know your worth girl.

I promised myself not to have someone until this year ends. Maybe because of the tragic break-up(?) I had just recently. Though it’s not considered to be a formal break-up since there was no official label between the two of us but still it was a relationship. I told my friends to help me achieve my goal because having no one would also be of help in maintaining the bond between my family and peer groups. And also there would be less distraction if I’ll remain single. I have a hard time loving myself then why should I commit to someone and love him wholeheartedly when I cant even find any reason to love myself (well at times). It would be so ironic to value someone when you cant even value yourself rightttt. I got traumatized with cupid’s arrow and I hope Cupid wont pana me this time. Pahinga muna bes.

anonymous asked:

I know you're probably very busy, but no one at home will listen to me. I just wanted your advice, and it's ok if you don't have any, but how does one ask their friends why they don't hang out with them outside of school? All of my friends except like 3, saw beauty and the beast yesterday and no one asked if I wanted to go. Mind you, the last time I got invited to something was January, and the last time they accepted my offer was November. Anyway, sorry to burden you and thanks in advance.💕ily

Oh honey. This is one of those places where I have no idea because, I mean, you’re me. That’s ALWAYS been me, in every stage of life and in every peer group. It hurts like a bitch and I’d like to say it stops happening once you’re out of school, but I still discover social events have happened with people I know in my real life when the pictures are posted on Facebook. (And, yes, it happens in fandom too, and I’ve had the experience where everyone I thought I was close to joined a #girlgang and had private chats and I found out when they all posted the drabbles they were writing on a drunk night of fun. Yep, I was the odd one out. That sucked. Guess what group of people I’m not ‘close’ to anymore?)

It sucks so much to be left out.

I don’t really have useful advice other than find better friends, which isn’t always easy to do. :(. Or, depending on how small your town is, possible.

Does anyone else have advice for anon?

Avoidant (or Anxious) Personality Disorder

This is very similar to generalized social phobia. Those with the disorder think of themselves as being inadequate, unlikeable and socially inept. They fear being rejected, criticised or ridiculed and would rather avoid most social situations. The reasons can differ may be related to emotional neglect and peer group rejection in childhood and/ or adolescence. Symptoms may include the following:

- Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism

- Self-imposed social isolation

- Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations. (However, the person still has a strong desire for close and meaningful relationships)

- May avoid physical contact with others (because it is associated with emotional or physical pain)

- Painful feelings of inadequacy

- Poor self-esteem

- Intense feelings of self consciousness

- Self hatred or self-loathing

- Mistrust of others

- Emotional distancing/ fear of intimacy

- Highly critical of their ability to relate naturally and appropriately to others

- Do not feel they can connect with others (although others may view them as easy to relate to)

- Intense feelings of inferiority.

-In more extreme cases, may suffer from agoraphobia.

Treatment approaches include social skills training, cognitive therapy, gradually increasing exposure to social situations, group therapy and, occasionally, drug therapy. Gaining and keeping the client’s trust is essential for progress to be made.

NEW: Bi+/Trans* Support Group in Boston!

The Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) has facilitated or been affiliated with several bisexual-specific social and support groups in the Greater Boston Area over the past 30 years. In working to continue meeting the needs of our local bisexual community, the BRC is launching a peer-facilitated support group every other month (starting in March 2016) on the last Thursday evening of the month for individuals who identify as bisexual+ and transgender*

This support group will be a safe space where individuals can discuss topics including, but not limited to:

  • Coming out as bisexual+ and transgender*
  • Sexuality and gender identity
  • Experiences with biphobia and transphobia
  • Dating and relationships (e.g. monogamy, non-monogamy, friends, family members)
  • Intersectionality in regards to age, race, ethnicity, and ability

The first meeting of this support group will be held on Thursday, March 31st from 7:00-9:00PM at Hope Central in Jamaica Plain.

To maintain this safe and supportive space for members of our bi+ and trans* community, this support group is only open to individuals who are transgender*

bisexual+ (e.g. bisexual, pansexual, fluid, non-monosexual, queer, questioning, no label)

transgender* (e.g. transgender, genderqueer, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, androgynous)