the peer group

anonymous asked:

So, to my understanding, you need to take biology classes in order to become a vet. Do you have to have a good understanding and remember it in order to become a vet?

Yeah, you need a pretty solid grasp of biology to be a vet. I’m not really sure what you’re asking? Bio was the favorite science for most vet students in my peer group.

anonymous asked:

It's funny how y'all (antis) sure love to yell about how they're "PROTECTING LGBT+ KIDS" but when THOSE SAME LGBT+ KIDS express any sort of want of sexual relationships, AT ALL, EVEN AMONG THEIR OWN GODDAMN PEERS/AGE GROUPS, suddenly antis turn on them and call them all pedos. Like @antis cut it out with the homophobic as hell, conservative Christian/Republican views of LGBT+ sexualities already, we know them like a book and always have.

👀☝🏼👏🏼

anonymous asked:

does tony think of peter as a son?

probably not consciously. he treats him kind of like a son sometimes, but that’s not very unusual for tony. tony has to be watched closely or he adopts stray genius children everywhere he goes.

 mostly it’s pretty long distance–he emails and videocalls them, sets up scholarships, funds research, talks them through school problems, introduces them to employers… i know for a fact that at least half of the starkphone beta testers are sleep-deprived students across the country who tony has run into at some convention or facility tour and decided to keep. some of them come to work at Stark Industries eventually, but a fair number go into other fields.

he has a strange ability to pinpoint exactly which kid in any given cluster is an untapped well of talent looking for mentoring. we have a number of bets running on if he’s doing it consciously or not. 

either way, he does it a lot.

he’s not very cuddly or touchy-feely with them, and he gets hilariously defensive if you poke him about it, but he’s actually a really good mentor, and he does really care. i mean, sometimes he uses the ‘do the exact opposite of what i would do’ method of role modelling, but…

Tips for Surviving College (With a Mental Illness)

Don’t compare yourself to other students. Just don’t do it. Because of your mental health, there will always be things that are more difficult for you than other students. Waking up early, keeping track of assignments, staying focused and motivated, socializing outside of class, joining clubs. All of these are things that can be harder for students with mental illness. It’s important to just pay attention to yourself and make sure you’re meeting the goals you set for yourself.

Walk as much as you can. Go for short walks around campus, walk to class instead of taking the bus or driving, walk around the library in between studying. Just get up and walk. It’s important to get in exercise where you can and walking is a great way to boost endorphins.

Know the attendance policy for each of your classes. Within the first week of class try to figure out how each professor takes attendance. Is it at the beginning of class, end of class? Is there a seating chart (seriously) or is it just writing in your name? Is there a daily quiz? Perfect attendance isn’t always attainable so it’s important to know not only how many days you can miss or be late, but how you can get around that. If you’re just having a bad mental health day it’s good to know when you can get a friend to sign you in so you don’t lose attendance points.

Have a “backup buddy” in each of your classes. On the first day of class or at least before the first test, make sure you get the phone number and email of two classmates. Not only is it good to meet new people, these are the people who will be your lifeline. Did you miss class or just completely zone out and need the notes? Do you need someone to sign you in? Did you abandon your bullet journal and forget all of the due dates? It’s crucial that you have TWO people you can reach (in case one or the other can’t help you) when you have a question you can’t ask your professor.

Know your professors!!! Introduce yourself first day of class (so it can be short and sweet) or go during office hours (so there aren’t a lot of people). Professors are a lot more willing to help you out if you’ve at least tried to establish a relationship with them. You’ll be closer with some more than others but if you ever have to send out a panicked email it’s important your professor can put a face to the name. If you ever have an emergency and need an extension it’s a lot more likely to get one this way. Bonus: also get to know your TA or GA if they’re the ones grading your assignments.

Take your medicine, see your therapist/psychiatrist. College is too stressful to go without the medical treatment that you need. If you can’t afford treatment, most universities have counseling clinics where you can get free or cheap treatment from grad students. Many university health centers also have psychiatrists you can see cheaply. At my university I see a grad student LPC for free and get to see a psychiatrist for $10 an appointment. Your therapist can also write letters in case your professor or school needs proof of treatment or anything like that.

Register with your school’s disability services. I’ve met a lot of students with depression or anxiety who had no idea that disability could apply to them. Mental illness is a disability! Registering with Disability is invaluable. You can get access to tutoring, support groups, peer mentors, and most importantly: accommodations. If you get really bad test anxiety you can arrange to take your test privately either proctored by someone in disability services or in your professor’s office. Extensions can sometimes be made for assignments in case you have an emergency like a panic attack or other life disrupting episode. 

Whether you need accommodation or not, I strongly urge you to register with disability in case something happens. If you need to drop your classes or were unable to and end up failing because of your health, being registered with disability can mean your bad semester can be “forgiven,” essentially meaning you can go on medical leave.

Have a family member or friend for a support system. Outside of your therapist or DS, have someone who you can vent to. Have someone to buy you ice cream and tell you everything is going to be okay. Have someone who can tell you you’re beautiful and perfect the way you are, whether that’s your mom or even someone on tumblr. There are people all around who care about you.

Know that you are wonderful and brave and have already accomplished so much just by getting into college. About 1 in 4 adults have a mental illness: you are not alone. Even if it might feel like you’re the only one having a hard time, there are hundreds of students all around you going through the same thing. 

American Pie and But I'm A Cheerleader were both released in 1999.

American Pie features:

  1. A pact between four straight high school boys to have sex by any means necessary.
  2. A male character masturbating into a pie.
  3. A humorous depiction of filming a high school aged girl in a sexual situation without her knowledge or consent, and broadcasting that to the entirety of her peer group and presumably the world. This tragically results in her humiliation and deportation, which means that the male character who filmed her will not be able to have sex with her in time to fulfill the pact (which is why it is tragic). (In a subsequent installment of the American Pie series, the girl returns and is not only not angry, but still amenable to a sexual relationship with said boy.)

But I’m A Cheerleader features:

  1. A satirical depiction of a traumatic and harmful practice known as ‘reparative therapy,’ colloquially 'degayification,’ with special attention paid to the fact that it doesn’t really work.
  2. One sex scene between female characters, not fully nude, shot mostly using close ups on the actress’ faces. Everyone is consenting, and no one has lied in order to receive consent.
  3. One female character suggested to be masturbating, not shown.


The MPAA gave American Pie an R rating, without hassle.


But I’m A Cheerleader initially received an NC-17 rating. This rating was only lowered to R (thus opening the film up to distribution) when the director agreed to cut a scene featuring the lead female character masturbating. Through her clothes. While thinking about a person, and not a pie.

Oh, you had me living a lie for a year? Maybe I'll just go ahead and dismantle every aspect of your life.

Well I was had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok!

This is a trailer trash roller coaster. All aboard!

The Lies

I thought I was in a slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship for a year. I had gotten out of a 12 year relationship when I met Fuckboi, he was so charming and handsome I thought I won the lottery! He was super pushy about saying “I love you” first and defining our relationship. He introduced me to his family. His niece started calling me Auntie. He tells me about his 3 children and their mothers and lies about how the mother of his oldest hates him and is keeping him away from the kid.

But then things started getting weird. His “ex” started calling all the fucking time, multiple times a day. They had children together, but the grandmother had custody the lie I was told to make it seem normal was that both of them had jobs where they traveled a lot, so they signed legal guardianship over to the g-ma to make schooling & emergency issue easier. Then she moved down to the city we were loving in for “work training”. Then she was moving down permanently without the kids. When I asked why the kids weren’t coming, the lie I was told they need to stay in the same school Um, they are 6 and 4 I’d say staying with parents is more important at that age than their peer group. It was weird, but I’m the cool girlfriend and it wasn’t my place to tell them where their daughters should live.

His “work” was in the cannabis industry, kind of. He worked with the “ex” brother in law going to legal states, buying pounds at a time and trafficking it via USPS. So, when he tells me he’s going to Oregon I think nothing of it.

After a week in Oregon, a lot of stories aren’t adding up, like his phone is always dead even though he carries a power bank with him. THEN one of his “friends” starts posting cuddled up selfies with him. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and dump him for cheating on me with this chick in Oregon.

The Truth

After I dumped him I made a messy facebook post on his wall, which the mother of his oldest child sees and she contacts me and lays out the truth!

He never contacts his oldest daughter, even though he has her cellphone. No one is keeping him from her.

  • He owes $20k in back child support for her, as he has never once made a payment and he moves around a lot & works under the table, so the mother was never able to collect garnishments or anything.
  • He has a huge criminal record starting with rape he committed at age 15, and then a lifetime of fraud, larceny and drug charges I knew nothing about!
  • His “ex” who moved to our city was his girlfriend of 9 years who was very much still in a relationship with him
  • They willingly gave up the 2 children because they preferred to use drugs; him - heroin, her - pills
  • There is a FOURTH child!?!?!?! He and the mother conspired to pin the paternity on another poor sap and it’s been 17 years now that this other man has been paying for a kid that is not his
  • I was his side chick
  • His family knew and played along in the lie and included their 10 and 16 year old children in the lie!
  • His chick in Oregon is actually his starcrossed lover from childhood! And every time they would try to be together one or the other would end up in jail!
  • The Oregon chick ALSO has a criminal record highlights include criminally negligent homicide from a DUI where she killed her passenger, fraud, larceny, drug charges

This shocked me, so I paid for a criminal background check which is how I learned of their records.

The Revenge

I PROFUSELY thanked the ex for telling me the truth about the situation. I mulled on it for a bit trying to convince myself to simply consider myself lucky and just walk away with my dignity intact. But then he’d be winning and I knew I had everything in my power to come down on him like Thor’s hammer.

  • I gave the ex ALL of his info - SSN, State ID#s, current and past known addresses. With this she contacted her state’s Child Support Services.
  • He now will have his Drivers license revoked and can’t get one no matter the state he moves to until he is current with his past payments.
  • If he ever gets a real job 25% of his wages will be garnished
  • He now has a warrant for his arrest in the state his oldest kid lives.
  • He’s trying to play house with his new GF and contacted the mother of his oldest to arrange a meeting with his kid and his gf’s child. The mother is “playing nice” and pretending it’s a-go and he is planing a trip to visit the daughter. He will not see her, at the “meeting” he will be seeing the police and they will arrest him for failure to pay, and he won’t get out of jail until he pays a sizable chunk of the $20,000 past-due PLUS bail!
  • I gave the ex his info THE DAY BEFORE his federal tax refund was set to go out, She was fast enough at getting his info to CSS that they INTERCEPTED his full tax refund and now he has for the first time paid for something for his child.
  • His past due child support is also going on his credit report
  • I know the name of the business his ex brother in law owns and uses to launder his drug trafficking money, I dropped a dime to the IRS. So, he’s losing his only steady income soon and can’t get a job a Walmart due to his criminal record, and if he DOES manage to find someone that hires without criminal background checks he will lose ¼ of his paycheck.
  • I told this story to two of my “hacker” friends and they got into contact with hackers more talented than themselves and are now going to “take care of” a few more things for me, like finding the guy who was conned into paying for a kid that’s not his.
Ok but imaginary friends (ways humans are weird)

Humans pack bond. We just do. Aliens learn quickly that spending any significant amount of time not being actively antagonistic to a human, they will bond with you.
They bond with other humans. While humans do not necessarily bond with everyone it’s pretty easy to become low-key with others for most people. More serious bonds take more time.
Humans bond with animals capable of bonding with the human. They bring both predator and prey (hopefully not together) into their homes and make them part of the family.
Humans do the same with animals that can’t bond because their brains aren’t wired for it. We don’t care. We love them anyway.
Humans bond with inanimate objects. It’s actively encourage for child to build social skills by practicing on toys. Adults even do it
They name cars, computers, phones, and other things.
All these can be explained and understood relatively easily.
But imaginary friends…the aliens don’t get it. Humans pack bond with things that DO NOT EXIST
they have bonds sometimes closer than those to any of their peer group. Child play with these nonexistent things actively and we don’t find it weird. Adults put out extra place settings at the table for their childrens imaginary friends. They chose a different seat if a child tells them that a clearly empty chair is their imaginary friend’s chair.

Kekhawatirannya

Khawatirnya perempuan itu seperti pepatah; mati satu tumbuh seribu. Seolah tidak ada habisnya. Sesuatu yang kalau ia perbincangkan dengan laki-laki mungkin akan ditanggapi; ah santai saja. Dan itu membuatnya semakin jengkel, juga bertambah khawatir.

Khawatirnya perempuan itu tumbuh seperti ombak, bergulung-gulung. Siang-malam tak pernah berhenti sepanjang angin terus mengalir. Dan kita tidak bisa melihat angin, hanya bisa merasakannya. Dan seperti itulah sebab-sebab khawatirnya. Tidak kelihatan, tapi dirasakan terus menerus.

Dari khawatir tentang fisiknya seperti kulit putih, rambut berbagai model, tinggi redahnya badan, cantik tidaknya, gigi yang rapi atau tidak, dan segala sesuatu yang seringkali diam-diam diresahkan tentang dirinya. Dari khawatir tentang pakaiannya, menarik atau tidak, luwes atau tidak, norak atau tidak. Sampai khawatir tentang apa yang dipikirkan orang lain tentangnya.

Ketika masih remaja, khawatir pada peer group, masuk ke dunia berikutnya khawatir tentang pekerjaan dan karir, juga khawatir tentang jodoh. Setelah menikah, khawatir pada perekonomian keluarga, godaan dari luar dsb. Khawatir pasangannya tidak setia, dan lain-lain. Ada saja yang memenuhi ruang-ruang dipikirannya. Ada saja hal-hal yang membuat resah khawatir.

Dan ketika ia menemukan seseorang yang mampu meniadakan kekhawatirnya, membuatnya percaya bahwa segala sesuatunya akan baik-baik saja. Ia akan dengan senang hati mencurahkan segala daya dan pikirannya untuk orang tersebut. Sekalipun mungkin itu menyakiti dirinya.

Kadang ini membuatku percaya bahwa kemampuannya melihat sesuatu dari sisi negatif (hal yang buruk) membuat perempuan jauh lebih jeli dan hati-hati daripada laki-laki, yang terburu-buru, grusah-grusuh, kurang terliti. Dan kekhawatiranya itu adalah kekuatan yang hebat kala berumah tangga. Saat ia sanggup berhitung atas situasi dan membuatnya selalu bersiap dalam kondisi terburuk. Dan kekuatan itulah yang sadar atau tidak, membuatnya menjadi kuat.

Yogyakarta, 14 Juli 2017 | @kurniawangunadi

The Social Stigma of Solitude

Oh, Chance-The-Rapper-Parody-Account, how I adore thee…

I love being alone.

Does that look sad written down?

It does.

But it’s not.

Last night I was listening to a podcast about a student who was struggling to “be normal” by partaking in her college’s nightlife, and I suddenly got flashbacks of the alienation I had felt in my twenties. I struggled to socialise in the same way that the rest of my peer group did and I had no idea why.

Until I read Susan Cain’s book, “Quiet”, I’d never thought anything about introversion. Based on what I’d read in mainstream media, extroverts were the cool party people and introverts were the shy weirdos. I didn’t self-identify as an introvert - I was lively and talkative! - but I liked spending large periods of time alone. Nonetheless, I wanted to be a social butterfly with lots of friends, spreading my wings all over town. Who wanted to be a loner? Nobody. Who actually was a loner? Me!

I hid my love of solitude for a long time, which, hilariously, made me more awkward and anti-social. I felt guilty for declining social invitations (as if my mere absence would be threatening the rest of humanity’s ability to have a great time). And society didn’t exactly encourage solitude - it seemed anti-human and anti-community - so, I often thought “what the hell is up with me?”. But as Susan Cain observes, “Introversion is not about being anti-social, it’s about being differently social”. She states that “Introverts prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments, while extroverts need higher levels of stimulation to feel their best”. Reading her book made me feel less strange, and less alone. I realised that all the behaviours I felt awkward about were actually connected to preserving and generating energy in a different way to how extroverts do. This helped me to change how I structured my social and work life.

Illustration by Maxine Sarah


My Old Socialising Patterns

  1. Meet a friend for dinner once a week.
  2. Go on a complete rager every two weeks because I’d suddenly realise “Oh, I’m very lonely. I think I need other humans to feel human!”.
  3. Consume huge amounts of vodka.
  4. Probably be sick when I get home because I knew zero about moderation.
  5. Spend next day feeling elated and high off the sheer relief that I, Marina Diamandis, had survived a social event and could get back to the business of being alone.

(As you can imagine, I’m pretty relieved this is no longer my life).

I don’t think any of us are 100% introvert or extrovert; we all share traits from both sides of the spectrum. But the way in which we gain energy is the signifier. Extroverts get their energy from being with other people, whereas introverts recharge when they’re alone. According to Eysenck’s psychophysical-based theory, introverts experience higher levels of arousal in their brain, so they don’t seek or need the same levels of stimulation that extroverts do. Apparently, 30 - 50% of the are population classified as introverts, but because society favours extroverted traits, people adjust their behaviour accordingly. Extraversion has been rewarded somewhat in our culture so perhaps there is a healthy swing of the pendulum going on. Even so, there still seems to be a social stigma, or curiosity, about aloneness.

Since I was 21, I’ve gone on plenty of solo traveling trips. I never feel weird going for a swanky lunch by myself (though admittedly, this confidence has been hard won), and whenever I spot someone doing something on their own, I think “cool!”, but I also think “brave”. The bravery isn’t related to doing stuff on your own, it’s about defying the social expectations around you. The feeling that people may be looking at you, judging you, and casting assumptions about your “aloneness”. And I’m not here to say “being alone is the best!” because it’s not always, but sometimes doing trips on your own can teach you things about yourself that you wouldn’t find out if you’d gone with others. (Also, vice versa).

I’ve been a bit nervous about writing about this subject, as I imagined people might say “But you’re not an introvert. You’re a performer. A very talkative, energetic performer!”, to which I would reply, “Yes, but I spend most of my tours recharging alone in hotel rooms. Also - have you even heard my song ”Solitaire“?!”. If there is any kind of message in this post it’s to go with the flow of your natural tendencies instead of resisting them for the sake of social expectations. If I could have known more about introversion in my twenties I would have spared myself a lot of unnecessary anguish. Sometimes partying is exactly what we need, other times a night alone is more valuable.

Over the years I’ve tried to find some deep, dark underlying reason for this “unnatural” character trait but I’m happy to say there isn’t really one. The only reason I can find is an ingrained social attitude that regards solitude as strange, sad or lonely. For anyone reading this who struggles with any of the above, just know there are lots of other people who feel exactly like you. We’re all wired differently - and let me take a minute to thank God for my extrovert friends who introduce me to new people - otherwise I’d never meet anyone. Also, someone needs to set up an “Introverts Society” for crying out loud! Meetings can be held once a year (maximum. Via Skype. From the safety of our rooms.).

Share your experiences here.

Love, Marina

Lilith Archetypes

Lilith (Black Moon) Disclaimer: The full influence of Lilith isn’t always common. We always have challenges and trials to overcome in life. There is a dark side to life. You are the ruler of your life not astrology. 

Aries Lilith tends to be influenced and hurt by coworkers, employees, males in their life, and people in their life with anger issues.

Aries Lilith is associated with becoming the warriors, fighters, bullies, gamblers, unhealthy risk-takers, killers, and a person who is overcome by their rage and acts on it brutally.

Taurus Lilith can be hurt and influenced by females in their life, the media (especially art/aesthetics), muses, or finances. They can be hurt and influenced by someone with a lot of financial power over them or someone who is a stable person in their life.

Taurus Lilith can become the seducer, hoarder, penny-pincher, usurer, a glutton, or is dishonest with materialism, money, and pleasure.

Gemini Lilith can be influenced and hurt by extended family, friends, acquaintances, siblings, students, and teachers.

Gemini Lilith is associated with turning into a thief, gossiper, unfaithful, con artist, plagiarist, liar, whistleblower, instigator, and trickster.

Cancer Lilith can be hurt and influenced by immediate family, especially the mom or grandma. Can be hurt by mentor, coach, and community leader. 

Cancer Lilith can turn into the traitor, profanator, selfish manipulator, coward, gives into vices, has terrible habits & attachments.

Leo Lilith can be hurt and influenced by lovers, their own children, bullies, and people with power or fame.

Leo Lilith can turn into the gambler, party-addict, gives into wild impulses, the abuser, the user, a pimp, and a heart-breaker.

Virgo Lilith can be influenced and hurt by coworkers, bosses, those that will take advantage of them, caretakers, and even healers.

Virgo Lilith can turn into the hustler, a lackey, suck-up, dependent/parasite, negative caretaker, and dangerous in medicine.

Libra Lilith can be influenced and hurt by lovers, friends, allies, and people they have deals with.

Libra Lilith is associated with becoming a schemer, gossiper, initiator, unjust, emotional vampire, seducer, and general corruption.

Scorpio Lilith can be influenced and hurt by truly dangerous people. Can be a victim of abuse of all kinds. Death in family associated.

Scorpio Lilith is associated with becoming a lot of bad things. Criminal activity, abuse, and self-destruction are its main themes.

Sagittarius Lilith can be influenced and hurt by false ideological and religious leaders, selfish people, con artist, reckless loved ones.

Sagittarius Lilith is associated with becoming a gambler, dangerous risk-taker, obsessed with competition, false prophet, and imposture.

Capricorn Lilith can be influenced and hurt by males, authority figures, powerful people (especially in politics), and their father.

Capricorn Lilith is associated with turning into the tyrant, cold cynic, power abuser, self-harm, blackmailer, and neglectful.

Aquarius Lilith can be influenced and harmed by groups, peer pressure, friends, and current ideals or beliefs.

Aquarius Lilith is associated with being the anarchist, traitor, trickster, deranged rebel, outcast, and discourages dreams or identity.

Pisces Lilith can be hurt and influenced by family members, friends, and lovers. Essentially anyone truly close to them.

Pisces Lilith can turn into the addict, give into criminal behavior, the cruel manipulator, have a heavy victim mindset, and have a us vs. them mentality.

To Those Who Are New to the Witching Ways

Whether you’re new, pondering, investigating or are actively enduring initiation, becoming a neophyte, on a probationary period, enduring coven acceptance, going to your first group magic/celebration or shared correspondence, please take this into consideration:

If you are being told to become sexually liberated…don’t feel obligated to succumb to such requests, especially if you aren’t comfortable with them. The whole point of magic is to be in touch with your higher self and surroundings. 

If you are being told to start using drugs or become a psychonaut…it is not something you have to do in order to validate your path. To become a psychonaut takes a lot of commitment, dedication and careful application; it is not meant for everyone. It also requires a lot of reading, trust in who you’re surrounding yourself with and it will, in essence, become something that is meant to open your path. If you aren’t comfortable using drugs or becoming a psychonaut in order to reach gnosis, then don’t do it. Your practice is still powerful as long as you apply the power of belief.

If you have boundaries that are being violated…don’t crumble to it. Perhaps it is not the right group for you. If you feel a strong connection to said group, talk to your High Priest/Priestess, Soror, Frater, etc. to let them know what is happening. From there, if they do care for your safety, they will negotiate re-locating you with a different chapter, ward, group, coven or gathering.

If you’re being told by fellow members that you’re doing it wrong and they aren’t willing to help…don’t take it personally. Sadly, elitism is rampant everywhere, especially fringe groups and more obscure ideologies. It’s always hard to hear, however, it isn’t your fault if you haven’t been instructed on how to do things. If you find that rituals in a certain order doesn’t work for you, there are alternatives out there such as chaos magic, dedicated to those who want to create their own magic without any designated dogma or applied ritual.

If you’re being addressed as a Whore of Babylon, Harlot Woman or anything that is demeaning…be weary, regardless of whether it is how the group operates or not. If you’re entering the path of magic, you deserve decency and to be treated as someone who is a student. Not someone who is a pass around, disregarded or easily forgotten about. If you’re being addressed as a Soror, student, practitioner, magician, solitary, etc. then you know you’re perceived as someone who takes their practice seriously, as someone that is seen with a level of respect within your group. 

If Wicca doesn’t resonate with you…then there is no need to feel like you’re lost or don’t know what you’re doing. A large majority of us don’t identify as such and do not partake in their practices. 

You will learn more and more every day that will, at times, make you question your path…which is also entirely fine. To form your path as a witch/magician/practitioner/etc. it takes trial and error. That is what makes this path fun and strengthens your character. Try not to feel silly if you’re wondering whether the path you may have been following, for example, 3 years suddenly doesn’t feel right. 

If you’ve gone solitary, planning to go solitary or are considering going solitary…don’t feel guilt or shame from others within your peers or group to stay. Solitary magic is beautiful because you’re going your own way. You’re transcending a group dynamic because it may not work for you. Perhaps you don’t feel comfortable with those around you. 

You don’t need ritual attire for your magic to be effective…some of the most effective magic I’ve ever produced has been when I’m donning jeans and a sweater, a retro dress or business casual. What you wear has nothing to do with what you produce when it comes to spells, enchantments, bindings or full blown rituals.

If you are being coerced, manipulated, pressured or told that you have to do things you aren’t okay/comfortable with…steer clear of those who are trying to tell you that the only way you can be effective in your practice is to follow their lead. It is never okay in any situation to follow suit. You have to do what’s right for you. The beauty of the witching way is that you establish your own path and find what works for you. If outside influences are trying to force you into a certain criteria, then it is their own problem. You deserve better. 

If you’re not sure how to start, what your path is or what you identify as in that regard…that is more than okay. It can take years for you to find what fits and what speaks to you. There are many people who finally become established in their 40′s, let alone their 20′s. There is no shame in not knowing and it’s always good to read more, ask questions and to experiment with what works. 

"Why don't I identify with my _________ sign?"

The planet may be weakly aspected, overruled or overlapped by another placement, in Detriment or Fall, in a house where it is not comfortable, or negatively aspected with other strong parts of your chart. Those are the most common (and likely) reasons, but there are specific possibilities for each planet and either luminary, so I will explain them below.

SUN: The Sun is your base personality, your ego, or your sense of self. This is you on the simplest and most succinct level, but certainly not the most comprehensive. While your Sun sign will have a kind of influence over every part of your life and character, it is merely the starting point – your other planetary placements add to and alter those traits. For example, if you are a Libra, you may not feel like a charming or flirtatious person as many stereotypes suggest, but that might be due to your Virgo Venus. I find that the sign your Mercury is in while have a great impact on what you do and don’t relate to, and I’ll get to that in a second.

MOON: The Moon is your heart and your past. It is about feelings and one’s core wants and needs. However, your Moon sign describes your natural way of operating on an emotional level, and many people grow past that. It is what you inherently or somehow immediately know, somewhat like the way babies cry to communicate every imaginable emotion that they feel must be conveyed – except, for example, if you have a Sagittarius Moon, your instinct may be to run, be careless or optimistic rather than to cry. That’s what the Moon is about: instincts. And instincts can be manipulated or ignored in order for you to grow.

MERCURY: Mercury is the way you think, speak, and learn. It is the intellectual planet, having everything to do with the mind. That being said, your Mercury sign is the one you think like, and it is very common for this to be a sign one greatly identifies with. However, it’s easy for the Sun to overrule this planet’s position, and it’s also easy to overanalyze your reactions and inner processes to the point of seeing yourself as something you’re not, which is something I’ve noticed is exceptionally common with people who have Mercury in Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces (the signs where it is in Domicile, Exaltation, Detriment, and Fall).

VENUS: Venus is your romantic and artistic side (or lack thereof). This planet rules the love and beauty department. The way you express affection (either romantically or platonically), your opinion on art and fashion, and your aesthetic choices will be determined by your Venus sign. It is possible for the Sun to overlap this placement as well, but also Mercury, especially if you’re a thinking-over-feeling type of person, and Mars, which rules passion and ambition. It is also not uncommon for someone to have chosen to condition themselves to behave a certain way in relationships or during creative exploits due to life circumstances or even simply their personal philosophies on those subjects.

MARS: Mars is your sex drive and determination. Mars is the planet of action, and thus it rules when, how, and where you choose to act upon strong feelings and intentions. Your Moon and Saturn signs have a great impact on this planet’s expression, and can restrict it to the point where you no longer trust your Mars impulses or reactions. I believe that the Mars sign is too ordinarily suppressed, and the reason you might not relate to it is that you could be ignoring it, refusing to acknowledge it as a relevant part of you.

JUPITER: Jupiter is your luck, morals, and life path. This planet is not only about what you’re good at and how staying true to that will benefit you, but how it can benefit others as well, and whether or not profiting yourself is more important to you than profiting others. However, since this sign also points to the lifestyle that will prove virtuous to you, it is something you have to grow into. Jupiter identification, unless another placement implies otherwise, is something that must be searched for and discovered, or accidentally (luckily) stumbled upon. And age has nothing to do with that.

SATURN: Saturn is your fear and sense of obligation. Saturn is the planet that tells you, “No, you can’t do that!” for a slew of probably irrelevant reasons that, strangely, mean a lot to you, and seem logical enough when at that moment but later look like nothing but irrational excuses that cushion one’s inhibitions. It is said that Saturn is the karmic planet, which means that it points to the negative things you did or that happened to you in your past life which will come back to haunt you in this one. Other than the general probabilities as to why you don’t relate with a particular planetary position, there aren’t usually many things clouding your ability to relate to it, and you might just not have encountered its affects on you yet.

URANUS: Uranus is your innovation and need for change. It is the planet that rules your inner rebel, but primarily values progression over wanting to “shake things up.” It is all about caring for humanity and community while still being original and unique. Ironically (and quite amusingly), the planet of individuality is one of the slowest to move, so extremely large groups of people will have the same Uranus sign. It, along with the next two on this list, is considered a generational planet, and you may not relate to it because it’s not meant for you to relate to, personally, but for your entire peer group, as well. If you want to notice the affects of this planet, look perhaps not directly inward and at yourself, but at the entire population of people who share your Uranus sign.

NEPTUNE: Neptune is your imagination and receptivity. It is about all things illusory and inspiring, desired but unreachable, mysterious but widely searched for. Neptune rules everything divine, whatever is beyond; it is perhaps the most spiritual planet, next to Pluto. But its influence is often hidden and shrouded in confusion. If you don’t relate to it, start looking in unfamiliar or frustratingly evasive places, such as the truth and fate of this generation and the last. You may find its affects amidst chaos and healing alike.

PLUTO: Pluto rules all powerful transformation and regeneration. This planet can take up to thirty years to change signs, so if you do not see its affects in yourself, look at the last few generations and all the great, irreversible changes that have been made during their time.

Trust me – it can take a lot of time to find the way a planetary placement applies to you personally, but humans are complex creatures and if you dig deep enough, I guarantee that astrology will become significantly reflective to you.

The Way I Feel Inside (Eggsy x Reader) Part 1

Summary: Based off of the song, ‘The Way I Feel Inside.’ (I saw Sing a month ago and honestly loved Taron’s singing so here we go)

Pairing: Eggsy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None that I can think of

Word Count: 1636

A/N: So sorry about such a long hiatus guys. Hopefully this is a sign that my writer’s block is clearing up


Originally posted by thetaronblog



Eggsy and Roxy found themselves in a bit of a predicament.

To an outsider looking in, the partners appeared to be having a marvelous time. Eggsy twirled Roxy, her scarlet dress catching the light oh so perfectly that it sparked envy into some of the women in the room. Nevermind the fact that her date looked at her as though she were the stars to his moon, and the two appeared to whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears.

But in fact the opposite was true.

“What if they can’t reach us?”

Roxy smiled, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Are you really doubting Y/N’s talents?”

(Your POV)

“Morgana, I must insist-”

You cut off Merlin’s protests with a simple glare. The man held his tongue, but you could see the conflict in his gaze as he rolled his chair beside yours. Your fingers moved with grace, pressing the appropriate keys as you attempted to hack into the most complex system you had met yet: the Kremlin.

“If you even hesitate for too long-”

“Merlin,” you said, clearly exasperated, though not tearing your eyes away from the monitor now. “If you ever expect me to one day take your place, you have to trust in my skillset. Why else would you have sponsored me?”

He didn’t answer, and for that you were grateful. There was enough stress surrounding your current situation, and you would be lying if you said that your main focus was completing the mission. No, it was to make sure Eggsy got out alive.

Not that anyone needed to know that.

(Eggsy’s POV)

“Galahad, can you hear me?”

Eggsy smiled at the familiar voice. “Loud and clear, Morgana.”

Roxy’s shoulders relaxed as they twirled along the dancefloor, now able to focus on their mission without worrying about if they would even make it home.

“Good. I’m looking at the blueprints right now. There’s a hallway somewhat hidden away to your far right.” Eggsy turned his head, allowing his eyes to be yours. “Right behind Ambassador Tolstoy, can you see it?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy confirmed, dipping Roxy so she could peer past the group of fat politicians.

“Do you want me to lead Fyodor over there?” His partner questioned, her eyes already searching the crowded space for the engineer they were meant to kidnap.

Both agents heard a chuckle, most likely from Merlin, when your voice spoke into the comms again. “Lancelot, no offense, but Fyodor does not necessarily go after people like you.” Eggsy could hear the smile in your voice. “Galahad, from what I’ve observed since the connection has been re-established, the man cannot take his eyes off of you.”

Eggsy’s cheeks burned a bright red as he chanced a glance to his left. Sure enough, there stood Fyodor Romanov, a Russian gangster who single-handedly led to the assassination of four Kingsman agents two months prior. The target sipped a glass of cognac, though it appeared he had an appetite for something that would guarantee a more prolonged satisfaction.

“Galahad, all you have to do is talk to him. Maybe flirt a little, maybe a kiss…”

Roxy laughed as Eggsy twirled her around. “You’re not helping,” he grumbled out.

“Merlin will be with you the whole time. Lancelot, I’m going to contact you on a separate frequency; we have something else for you.”

Eggsy led Roxy to the edge of the dance floor, where they removed themselves from each other. Roxy tilted her head to Fyodor, her eyes sparkling. “Have fun,” she said, before walking away to do whatever it was you needed her for.

As Eggsy approached Fyodor, Merlin attempted to give him a few pointers. “Just pretend he’s Princess Tilde.” Eggsy scoffed. “Right, forgot that’s a sour topic. I’m sure from a certain angle he has to look semi-appealing.”

Eggsy shook his head, grabbing a flute of champagne and chugging it. “It’s not that he’s ugly Merlin; it’s just that I can’t–”

“How about Y/N?” Eggsy froze where he stood. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you stare at her. I’m sure that with enough imagination, and more than just one glass of champagne…” He trailed off, hoping Eggsy could follow his method of thinking.

Eggsy siddled up to the bar, right beside Fyodor. Sending the Russian his most charming smile, he whispered to the bartender, “Your strongest. Keep it coming.”

(Your POV)

You leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you tried to will away the headache that was coming on. Too long staring at a screen did that to a person. Add to that the constant worrying about Eggsy… you really needed to sleep this one off.

You felt Merlin’s gaze on you, and dropped your hand to meet it. “What’s wrong?”

“Y/N,” it really never was a good sign when Merlin’s tone was serious, “how long do you plan to go on like this?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” You did.

“After what happened with Dean, I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“If you’re trying to imply I feel something for Eggsy, then you might need more rest than I do.” Not wanting to speak of the matter anymore, you stood from your desk and left, heading for your quarters.

Merlin sighed, shaking his head. It was then his stomach dropped as he saw your comms unit, discarded, but online. He turned it off, for once hoping his agents weren’t listening as they so often didn’t.

But fortune was not on anyone’s side that day.

***

For the next week, a palpable tension rested heavily in the air. In an effort to prove Merlin wrong, you spent the majority of your time overseeing various missions, leaving the array of monitors only to eithe eat, sleep, or use the restroom (though you found that with the help of some friends and a pillow, you could do the first two down there).

Meanwhile, you noticed Eggsy appeared to be a bit down the last few days, when you would see him that is, but you just assumed it had to do with Princess Tilde, who had gotten married that week as well. Remembering how willingly Eggsy went to her once a month, you would be lying if you said you weren’t glad she had gotten married; even Eggsy had limits. Yet that still didn’t mean you enjoyed his sour mood.

One day, you decided to approach Roxy about the subject. You found her in the gun range, eyes fixed in determination as her bullets went through the same hole over and over and over again. In hindsight, her cold stare and rigid posture should have given it all away.

Fast forward ten minutes, and you found yourself in the infirmary, listening to Roxy apologize again and again as the nurse stitched up the result of a bullet grazing your arm.

Not a second later Eggsy comes into the room, his eyes wide as he takes in the scene in front of him. “What the hell happened?”

You cut off Roxy before she could say anything. “Tried practicing in the shooting range again. Now you know why Merlin keeps me off the field.” You tried to smile but winced as the nurse pulled a little too tightly on your skin.

Eggsy nodded, his concern fading before that icy mask fell over him yet again. “Well, after you’re done here, he wants to see you downstairs. Something about a Japanese hacker group.”

Without another word he left the room. You turned to Roxy, who now avoided your gaze. “What the hell is all of that about?”

“He’s just been really upset about Princess Tilde.” She pressed a hand to her comms unit and sent you an apologetic smile. “Sorry I have to go. I’ll make this up to you.”

As she rushed out of the room, you felt a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time: loneliness. Sure, your friends were there (you supposed Merlin counted as a friend as well), but they were all lying to you. For the first time in a while, you felt like an outsider in a place that had come to mean home.

When the nurse cleared you, you headed straight for lower ground, deciding it better to immerse yourself in work rather than face the conflict at hand.

Merlin and Eggsy were standing there, waiting for you. Your superior’s eyes trailed to the bandage wrapped around your arm, to which you shrugged, wordlessly promising to explain it to him later.

“Morgana, thank you for joining us so promptly.” Merlin greeted. He turned to Eggsy, who seemed to be looking at anything except you. “Would you like to tell her or should I?”

Eggsy twirled one of Merlin’s pens in his hands. “You’re the boss.”

What the hell had gotten into him? But you didn’t have much time to contemplate this as Merlin turned back to face you.

“Lancelot is in Tibet for the rest of the month, and, due to the bombing last week, I barely have enough field agents as it is.” He couldn’t be serious. “I need you to join Galahad on a mission.”

You listened to Merlin explain the mission details. It was a usual: high class citizen who exploits their business for the sake of profits. This one in particular is suspected of human trafficking. However, your attention solely remained on Eggsy.

You watched him avoid your gaze purposely. His jaw clenched as Merlin explained the two of you would pose as a newlyweds attending a gala in Paris. Eggsy would be the supposed bastard of some aristocrat who you didn’t bother remembering the name of. The job was simple: get in, grab the banker, and get out.

Unfortunately, when it came to you two nothing was simple.


Here is Part 2

oh today i had a very serious research call with a very serious expert on early gay history and like around the 25-minute mark he said something about how our generation tends toward this post-modern deconstructionist approach where there’s no such thing as “gay identity” and i replied that i was familiar with what he was talking about and that i’d noticed some pushback in my peer group away from the all-encompassing “queer” and back toward labels like gay, bi, etc., after the definition of “queer” had been expanded to include straight people, and he was like, “oh interesting” and i was like, “like there was this one woman who wrote a modern love column about how she’s queer because she has a spanking fetish” and he SCREAM-LAUGHED and the conversation briefly diverted so we could discuss how jillian keenan is the dumbest person alive

Characteristics & Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder

Alienation - The act of cutting off or interfering with an individual’s relationships with others.

“Always” and “Never” Statements - “Always” and “Never” Statements are declarations containing the words “always” or “never”. They are commonly used but rarely true.

Anger - People who suffer from personality disorders often feel a sense of unresolved anger and a heightened or exaggerated perception that they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected or abused.

Baiting - A provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another individual.

Blaming - The practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.

Bullying - Any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic or emotional strength.

Catastrophizing - The habit of automatically assuming a “worst case scenario” and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.

Chaos Manufacture - Unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion or mess.

Cheating - Sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else.

Circular Conversations - Arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no resolution.

Cognitive Dissonance - A psychological term for the discomfort that most people feel when they encounter information which contradicts their existing set of beliefs or values. People who suffer from personality disorders often experience cognitive dissonance when they are confronted with evidence that their actions have hurt others or have contradicted their stated morals.

“Control-Me” Syndrome - This describes a tendency which some people have to foster relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or “acting-out” nature.

Denial - Believing or imagining that some painful or traumatic circumstance, event or memory does not exist or did not happen.

Dependency - An inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult individual on another individual for their health, subsistence, decision making or personal and emotional well-being.

Depression - When you feel sadder than you think you should, for longer than you think you should - but still can’t seem to break out of it - that’s depression. People who suffer from personality disorders are often also diagnosed with depression resulting from mistreatment at the hands of others, low self-worth and the results of their own poor choices.

Dissociation - Dissociation is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.

Domestic Theft - Consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to (or shared with) a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.

Emotional Blackmail - A system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control someone’s behaviors.

Engulfment - An unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on another person, which comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship.

Sense of Entitlement - An unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.

False Accusations - Patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticism directed towards someone else.

Favoritism - Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a family or group of peers.

Fear of Abandonment - An irrational belief that one is imminent danger of being personally rejected, discarded or replaced.

Harassment - Any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior by one individual towards another.

High and Low-Functioning - A High-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is able to conceal their dysfunctional behavior in certain public settings and maintain a positive public or professional profile while exposing their negative traits to family members behind closed doors. A Low-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is unable to conceal their dysfunctional behavior from public view or maintain a positive public or professional profile.

Hoovers & Hoovering - A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim trying to assert their own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship, gets “sucked back in” when the perpetrator temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behavior.

Hysteria - An inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.

Identity Disturbance - A psychological term used to describe a distorted or inconsistent self-view

Impulsiveness - The tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.

Infantilization - Treating a child as if they are much younger than their actual age.

Invalidation - The creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless.

Lack of Object Constancy - An inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy and reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision.

Learned Helplessness - Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe that they have no control over a situation, even when they do.

Magical Thinking - Looking for supernatural connections between external events and one’s own thoughts, words and actions.

Moments of Clarity - Spontaneous periods when a person with a Personality Disorder becomes more objective and tries to make amends.

Mood Swings - Unpredictable, rapid, dramatic emotional cycles which cannot be readily explained by changes in external circumstances.

Neglect - A passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a dependent are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them.

Normalizing - Normalizing is a tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviors. In essence, normalizing is the manipulation of another human being to get them to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or their own basic code of behavior.

No-Win Scenarios - When you are manipulated into choosing between two bad options

Panic Attacks - Short intense episodes of fear or anxiety, often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as hyperventilating, shaking, sweating and chills.

Parentification - A form of role reversal, in which a child is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the family’s other children.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior - Expressing negative feelings in an unassertive, passive way.

Pathological Lying - Persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.

Projection - The act of attributing one’s own feelings or traits to another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.

Push-Pull - A chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.

Raging, Violence and Impulsive Aggression - Explosive verbal, physical or emotional elevations of a dispute. Rages threaten the security or safety of another individual and violate their personal boundaries.

Sabotage - The spontaneous disruption of calm or status quo in order to serve a personal interest, provoke a conflict or draw attention.

Scapegoating - Singling out an individual or group for unmerited negative treatment or blame.

Selective Competence - The practice of demonstrating different levels of intelligence or ability depending on the situation or environment.

Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia - The use of memory, or a lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief or desired outcome.

Self-Harm - Self Harm, also known as self-mutilation, self-injury or self-abuse is any form of deliberate, premeditated injury inflicted on oneself, common among adolescents and among people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. The most common forms are cutting and poisoning/overdosing.

Self-Loathing - An extreme hatred of one’s own self, actions or one’s ethnic or demographic background.

Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization or “playing the victim” is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.

Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.

Situational Ethics - A philosophy which promotes the idea that, when dealing with a crisis, the end justifies the means and that a rigid interpretation of rules and laws can be set aside if a greater good or lesser evil is served by doing so.

Splitting - The practice of regarding people and situations as either completely “good” or completely “bad”.

Thought Policing - A process of interrogation or attempt to control another individual’s thoughts or feelings.

Threats - Inappropriate, intentional warnings of destructive actions or consequences.

Triangulation - Gaining an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other.

Triggering - Small, insignificant or minor actions, statements or events that produce a dramatic or inappropriate response.

Tunnel Vision - A tendency to focus on a single concern, while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities.

theholylight  asked:

Apparently a Hashino/Soejima interview was translated. They said they were never able to have just a friendship with a girl and Soejima even said he 'never saw girls in that way'. It explains so much about slinks/confidants and the romance in P3-P5 :) ._.

Oh god, no, no, no! A few things:

a) This interview wasn’t translated recently, it has been well-known about ever since shortly after Persona 4′s initial release

b) Hashino and Soejima did NOT say that they didn’t think one couldn’t be friends with women in that interview. Rather, they explained that they, personally, grew up in a time when peer groups in Japan were extremely strictly separated by gender, and being purely platonic friends with someone of the opposite gender without any interest in pursuing a relationship as a teenager was seen as odd, if not downright ridiculous. How bad was it? Well, in the early 2000s, when a “trend” emerged of men actually being friends with women, rather than just trying to flirt with them, that “trend” was seen as so special, it was given it’s own name: Soushoku-danji, “herbivorous guys”.  In Hashino’s generation, just “hanging out” with girls as friends without expecting to eventually date them just. Did not. Happen. Because of that, people of their generation have a very, very poor grasp on intergender friendships and had trouble writing them in any way that did not include flirting. So when Hashino and Soejima gave that interview, they weren’t saying “lol, but girls have cooties and stuff”, they were admitting their own shortcomings and that they see that the world around them has changed, causing their writing/character building to regrettably fall short in that respect due to their upbringing.

c) Precisely because of that, after Persona 3, Hashino added a LOT of younger talent to the writing team, who could help with writing more believable, up-to-date intergender friendships than the previous team could. Among them is Azusa Kido, a woman who has been responsible for coordinating pretty much all of the Social Links ever since Persona 4, directed the entirety of Persona 3 Portable’s FeMC route AND wrote almost all of Persona Q by herself. She was brought in partially with the intent of fixing the issues with the characterization with male-female friendships in Persona 3, and she did so masterfully in my opinion. Now, due to her being busy with Persona Q when P5 was written, she sadly was not involved with the game’s main scenario, however, according to the credits, she was still hugely responsible for the Confidantes in the game.

So, no, this interview does NOT explain the issues with the romances in Persona 4 or Persona 5 or puts the blame for them entirely on Hashino or Soejima. At most, it shows that the problem with the romances is ingrained so intrinsically in how the games are written, that not even bringing in new talent has been able to alleviate the problem. 

EDIT (Clarification):

Kido was already on the Persona Team before P4′s production, however, her involvement in P3 was a lot more low-key than her involvement in P4, where she was given a lot more responsibility. Along with her promotion during P4′s development, new writers were brought in as well, many of them recruited from P3′s fanbase, according to Hashino.

Broken // Jughead Jones

can you do a jughead/riverdale imagine where jughead breaks up with the reader, and the whole “squad” leaves the reader, so in despair she goes to the river to kill herself ( like what Cheryl did ) and Jughead saves her?

Warnings: Attempted Suicide, Swearing, sad jughead, blood.

Word Count: 2,625

Characters: Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, Kevin Keller, Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom.

A/N: If you ever feel like self-harming or think suicide is the answer, please, talk to me or someone. There are so many people going through this, and I’d hate for anyone to feel this way. x

— —

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Those five words had basically killed you. You knew you’d hear those words, but you didn’t expect them right now, after dating Jughead Jones for a year and three months. You hadn’t expected the words to come tumbling from his mouth. They were like bullets, each word hitting you in the heart. You had looked at the raven haired boy, who sat across from you. You were both in a booth, where you spent your time together. You had a sudden chill come over your body, the thick, khaki jacket couldn’t even keep you warm. You looked outside, the neon sign reflecting onto the window, but the thick, white snow still fell outside.

“How long?” You asked, looking back at the boy who sat in front of you. He looked emotionless, whereas you, on the other hand had tears welling up in your eyes and your hands were shaking a little bit. You bit your lip, looking around the diner. So many memories were made in this diner for you and Jughead. You had met him in this diner, along with Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge. You had spent countless nights with him, curled up in the booth, a book in your hands as he typed away on his laptop.

“A few weeks,” Jughead said softly. He could see how broken you were right now, but he swore he didn’t feel the same. After a very intense conversation with Betty about her feelings for him, he thought he didn’t love (Y/N) anymore, but deep down, he still loved her. He was just too caught up in everything, and with Veronica pushing him to love Betty, he got confused.

You couldn’t handle seeing his face anymore. His beautiful, pale face. You looked down at your lap, hand covering your mouth as you let out a sob. ‘Don’t cry, (Y/N)…’ Jughead’s words went straight through you as you stood up, collecting your phone and book, shoving them in your bag and quickly making your way out of the diner, walking in the snow, making your way home and ending up on your bed, a sobbing mess.

-

None of them had talked to you in three weeks. They all sided with Jughead and immediately left you. Archie, Betty, Veronica, Kevin, even Cheryl had started befriending them all and she was giving you a few side eyes and glares.

You walked into the student lounge, one earphone in your ear as you listened to your Spotify playlist. You had left your book and water bottle on the table in the lounge. As you looked up from your phone, you saw a certain pair of blue eyes meet yours. Along with your ex-friends. Goose bumps appearing on your skin as you walked to the table, picking up the two objects you had to collect and shoving them in your bag, you looked over your shoulder, all six pairs of eyes on you. Your breathing had quickened, and you knew they all hated you. All because Jughead broke up with you. You could feel it in the atmosphere and see the look in their eyes. Running your fingers through your hair, you quickly left the student lounge and made your way out of the building, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

-

Another two weeks had passed and they were all still being so petty about Jughead breaking up with you and they were still taking it out on you. It had been over five weeks and they were still being so dramatic about this whole thing, but you just couldn’t handle it anymore. You closed your locker gently, looking down at your Converse clad feet and slinging your bad over your shoulder. You headed towards the doors that you walked through every morning, the ‘Core Four’ as your peers called the group that you had once been a part of, were walking straight towards you, but you were not moving out of their way. Your shoulder had grazed Jughead’s, and you looked over your shoulder, his blue eyes coming in contact with yours. He had a slight look of confusion in his features, wondering why you weren’t going the way he was going, since you both had English together. You wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’. You wanted to apologise and have him hold you, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen.

You had left the boundaries of the school, the snow falling and creating a crisp, white layer on the ground. You had taken a different route today. You weren’t going home. No. You were going somewhere that meant a lot to you, and you wanted to make sure that no one knew where to find you. The snow had gotten thicker, it reaching above your ankles at this moment, and it was getting deeper. You trudged through the snow, seeing Sweetwater River covered by a thick layer of the snow, and also a layer of ice had been hidden underneath the snow.

Your hair rested over your shoulders as you dropped your bag, letting it fall onto a log that was peeking out of the snow. You took your phone from your back pocket, staring at it for a few seconds before typing in your password and going to your messages. You clicked on Jughead’s name and started to compose a text message.

‘i don’t know why everyone hated me so much after you broke up with me. but now i understand, because i’m hating me too. i’m sorry.’

-

Jughead didn’t know why he suddenly got a text message from you, but as soon as he saw what you had written, he was on his feet, collecting his stuff and rushing out of the student lounge. So many thoughts were running through his head. Where were you? He tried calling you, but you didn’t answer, you were immediately declining his calls.

“Juggie!” Betty had called out to him, Archie, Kevin and Veronica also following the blonde, who was following the raven haired boy. “What happened? Is it your dad?” She continued, trying to catch up to him, but he was already out of the school doors and jogging down the stairs. “Jughead, please!”

Jughead turned around, his phone still clutched in his hand. “You! You’re all the goddamn problem! You wanted me to break up with her. You all egged me on to do it! Putting into my head that I’d be so much better with Betty! Well, no. I just wanted (Y/N) and now she fucking hates herself and I have no idea where she is, but she probably has one motive at this point and I think you all know what it is!” Jughead looked at his group of friends, his face was red, but he was almost crying.

-

You had managed to make it out to the middle of Sweetwater River, taking in a deep breath as the snow fell, and snowflakes had landed in your hair and on your eyelashes. It was a beautiful feeling, and you wanted it to be the last feeling you had.

Your clothes were a strong contrast against the pure white snow, and anyone could possibly see you amongst this blanket of white, but no one was around to see you disappear within the snow, so it would be like you dropped off the face of the earth.

You took a deep breath, the cold air feeling refreshing as you looked around one last time. You gripped the sharp rock that was in your hand, looking down at the snow and dropping to your knees. You pushed the snow, piling it up so you could see the ice. You raised your hands above your head, the rock still grasped in your hands. A rush of adrenaline had overcome you and you swung your hands down, hitting the rock onto the ice. A small chip had been made, but bringing the rock down onto the ice over and over again had started to show a result in what you were looking for.

“(Y/N!)” You heard a voice shout across from the shore of the river. You stood still, but looked over your shoulder. Seeing 6 people across the river, standing safely on the shore, whereas you were stood in the middle, hearing the ice creak the slightest bit made your heart beat faster. All 6 of your friends that had left you were standing there. Archie, Betty, Veronica, Kevin. Even Cheryl was stood there. But the last one, his signature denim jacket with a fleece collar and his beanie, was stood at the very edge. His eyes were wide and he was paler than usual. He was just hoping that the ice wouldn’t crack before he could talk to you.

-

“(Y/N), please! Just, come to the shore. We can talk through this. We’re so sorry!” Betty shouted, and Jughead gave her a side glance. Betty and Cheryl were standing behind Archie, and Veronica and Kevin were standing next to Archie. The boy that loved you so much watched as you turned around, fully facing the group of teenagers that had left you in a time of need. Jughead started forward, taking one step onto the ice. Slowly walking towards you, he told the others to not follow, because the weight of them all will surely pull them under.

“(Y/N). Come closer, please. We’re going to talk through this. It’s freezing and you’re going blue.” Jughead continued to walk towards you, but you stood exactly where you needed to. The ice was starting to crack a bit more, and you wished it would hurry up and pull you under the surface. “You know I love you and I care about you. I don’t want you to do this. I’m sorry that I was so pathetic. I should’ve known to stay with you. (Y/N), I love y-“

-

Betty Cooper stood there, watching the boy she had probably the slightest feelings for, confess his love to someone else. She wasn’t sure how to feel, but you loved him first, and she went out and ruined that. She felt like shit, putting it bluntly, but she would eventually get over it.

“You know I love you and I care about you. I don’t want you to do this. I’m sorry that I was so pathetic. I should’ve known to stay with you. (Y/N), I love y-“. Betty watched as Jughead’s face dropped and went pale. He stood there as his girlfriend disappeared below the surface. Archie was the first to move, bolting across the icy surface in attempt to save his best friend’s love.

“Jughead! Come on!” Veronica pushed him slightly, and Jughead realised that his girlfriend had disappeared. Archie was almost at where she had just been standing. The ginger dropped to his knees, seeing that the current had pulled her somewhere underneath the ice, which was acting like a glass floor. Jughead hand scrambled next to Archie, panting and looking at his best friend.

“Current’s pulled her under somewhere, spread out and look for her,” Archie spoke to Jughead, nodding. He watched the raven haired boy followed the way the current was going and started pushing snow from the icy floor. Archie repeated the same words he had just said to Jughead, in a louder tone. Everyone had started looking for her. Cheryl was stood at the shore, a phone to her ear. She was wearing a pair of heels, so Kevin had decided to give her is phone to call someone to get another car.

“Found her!” Veronica yelled as she pushed more snow away from the ice. Jughead looked up, his hair dishevelled and his beanie was crooked on his head. He scrambled over to where Veronica was and saw the body of his girlfriend starting to disappear deeper into the water. He looked around, in hopes to find something to break the ice with, but there was no luck. He looked at his hands, starting to beat at the ice. He groaned, his knuckles could definitely not take this type of beating, and Archie saw his best friend’s pain. Despite the words that Jughead would say to him after, he pushed him aside and started to hit the ice. So far, Archie was just cutting and breaking his knuckles, and blood was going everywhere, but he had eventually started to break the ice. His blood was mixing in with the water from the river. As soon as Archie had broken the ice, he and Jughead both reached in, grabbing onto either of your arms, pulling you onto the snowy surface.

Jughead took one look at you as he moved you away from the hole that had been created in the ice. Your skin was paler than usual, and your lips had gone blue. Your clothes stuck to your skin and you were colder than the water that was trapped under the layer of ice. “She isn’t breating,” he murmured, laying you on your back. He pumped at your chest, hoping that it would start to pump some blood into your system. Jughead shivered when he pressed his mouth against yours. It took him about three minutes to get you back, but as soon as you spluttered the water from your lungs, gasping for air, he pulled you into his chest, holding you so close to him.

Archie had given up his letterman jacket, since Jughead’s had become drenched somehow. You were in Jughead’s arms, shivering and shaken up from the events that just happened. You had realised in that very moment. As soon as your body went underneath that ice and you couldn’t pull yourself up. You actually thought you’d end up dead, and you definitely regretted putting Jughead, and everyone else through that.

-

“Juggie?” You whispered as you sat up in your bed. Everyone agreed to not mention anything, so Jughead took you home. You both got into the house just fine, since your parents were out of state for the week. He let you take a hot shower, got you changed into warm clothes (both you and him) and he let you sleep, while he took a shower, the scene of you dropping into the water playing over and over in your head.

Jughead looked at you. He hadn’t spoken much, because he didn’t know if he was going to burst out crying. He had just brought you back from basically dying, and he was still shaking up.

“I’m so sorry,” you spoke softly. Your skin was still crawling with goosebumps. Your room was probably as warm as a sauna or something. The heater was on, you had two blankets on, a pair of pyjama pants on, a hoodie and a fuzzy pair of socks, but you still felt cold. You felt so cold and heartless for attempting to do that, especially in front of Jughead.

“For what? If I hadn’t had arrived when I had, you’d probably be at the bottom of Sweetwater River right now, dead. And no one would probably know until summer, and that’s what scared me so much. I love you and I don’t want you to go anywhere right now. It’s tough for both of us, I know. And I am the worst person for pulling that on you, and being so pathetic about it.” He sat on the edge of your bed, looking at you. “Please, please. Don’t leave me,” Jughead’s voice broke as he leant forward, head resting on your shoulder. Small sobs could be heard, and your heart shattered into a million pieces. It was you that broke Jughead Jones. And you’d have to live with that for the rest of your life.