the past should give us hope



I always find myself questioning the things I do, even if I was the one who opted to do it from the beginning. I frequently ask myself whether I’m doing the right thing. Whether there’s any good in the things I choose to put myself in. The school I go to, the activities I join, the events I attend, the friends I choose to keep. Are my decisions going to benefit my future or are they just a waste of time? I wonder if I’m really doing anything right these days. You see, I have always had this fear in me. This fear I can’t specifically explain. I often am afraid if I make the wrong choices, especially when I have to make big important life decisions. What if my plans don’t work out? Who will I be in 10 years? Will I ever really figure it out?

I hate self-doubt. You know when they say we are our own biggest critics, they’re hella right.

Sometimes, the plans that I have for myself, are not exactly the plans that Allah has for me. I get myself in a relationship, and it ends tragically. I take up a course I thought I’m good at, and later fail miserably. I apply for a scholarship, but then find out I was rejected. I plan to graduate on time, but got sick and am told to defer my studies. All these circumstances, it all leads to self-doubt. Will I ever be good enough for anything?

A few days ago, I was reading Surah Al-Kahf and stumbled upon a verse that struck a chord with me. It was so beautiful I made it my phone’s wallpaper lol. The verse goes:

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَىٰ أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَٰذَا رَشَدًا 

“Except “if Allah wills.” And remember your Lord when you forget & say “May my Lord guide me to what is right” (18:24)

Perfect timing. This verse isn’t only a do’a but also a statement of optimism. “Asa” according to the arabic language is a verb used to express hope. Subhanallah, Allah is teaching us that the most fundmental thing we need is His guidance. He is teaching us that in the end, He knows best what is good for us and all we have to do is give our best in the things we do. The rest is Allah’s job. I learnt that if we do what is good, our effort will never go to waste, even if things don’t turn out the way we want it. Our compensation is with Allah. 

The verse screams optimism. It says “when you forget” because whenever something bad/failure befalls us, we tend to lose hope. We are bound to feel lost & confused. Been there a lot of time. So this powerful verse is telling us ‘no, don’t give up, hang in there and ask Allah to guide you’. He created us, He created the stars and the universe, so He definitely knows what is best for us. Whatever happens yesterday, stays there. If we have failed in the past, that failure should not dictate our future. 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Saheeh Muslim #2999)

So I guess we will never really have all the answers, but it’s perfectly okay, What we do know is that we can always ask Allah to guide us to what’s the best for us.

As long has we put our trust in him, we are in good hands.


❛ They’re safe ❜  
❛ She’s/he’s/they’re safe, just like I promised. ❜
❛ And you get to die for her/him/them, just like you promised. ❜
❛ We’re all men/woman of our word. ❜
❛ This is either madness or brilliance. ❜
❛ It’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide. ❜
❛ Me? I’m dishonest. ❜
❛ And a dishonest man/woman/person you can always trust to be dishonest. ❜
❛ It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly.. stupid. ❜
❛ This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught NAME. ❜
❛ You cheated. ❜
❛ Pirate. ❜
❛ You are without doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of. ❜
❛ What’s your purpose? ❜
❛ I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships. ❜
❛ I confess, it is my intention to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out. ❜
❛ I said no lies. ❜
❛ I think he’s telling the truth. ❜
❛ If he/she/they were telling the truth, he/she/they wouldn’t have told us. ❜
❛ That’s not true. ❜
❛ I am not obsessed with treasure. ❜
❛ Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate. ❜
❛ You’re supposed to be dead! ❜
❛ The only rules that matter are these: what a man/woman/person can do and what a man/woman/person can’t do. ❜
❛ Pirate is in your blood, boy. ❜
❛ I can let you drown. ❜
❛ So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not? ❜
❛ Drink up, me hearties. Yo ho. ❜
❛ You burned all the food, the shade.. the rum! ❜
❛ Yes, the rum is gone. ❜
❛ Why is the rum gone? ❜
❛ It is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. ❜
❛ The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me. ❜
❛ Do you really think there is even the slightest chance they won’t see it? ❜
❛ There’ll be no living with him/her/them after this. ❜
❛ I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against PLACE. ❜
❛ There are a lot of long words in there, Miss/Mr. ❜
❛ We’re naught but humble pirates. ❜
❛ What is it that you want? ❜
❛ I want you to leave and never come back. ❜
❛ I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Mean’s no. ❜
❛ I didn’t steal it, if that’s what you mean. ❜
❛ Too long I’ve been starving to death and haven’t died. ❜
❛ I feel nothing. ❜
❛ You best start believing in ghost stories, NAME. You’re in one. ❜
❛ No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder? ❜
❛ If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it. ❜
❛ I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that. ❜
❛ It never would have worked between us, darling. ❜
❛ I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t know. ❜
❛ How far are you willing to go to save her/him/them? ❜
❛ I’d die for her/him/them. ❜
❛ You need to find yourself a girl/boy, mate. ❜
❛ Who are you? ❜
❛ No one. He’s no one. Distant cousin of my aunt’s nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch. ❜
❛ A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around! ❜
❛ I love this song. ❜
❛ You’ll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main. ❜
❛ You stole my boat! ❜
❛ I borrowed. Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back. ❜
❛ It’s frightful bad luck to have a woman on board. ❜
❛ She/he/they go free. ❜
❛ You only got one shot. ❜
❛ We can’t die. ❜
❛ Don’t do anything stupid. ❜
❛ The crew are not to be harmed. ❜
❛ Curse you for breathin’, ya slack-jawed idiot. ❜
❛ You should know better than to wake a man when he’s sleepin’. It’s bad luck. ❜
❛ Savvy? ❜
❛ It’s not worth you getting beat again. ❜
❛ You didn’t beat me. ❜
❛ You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fair, I’d kill you. ❜
❛ That’s not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it? ❜
❛ The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers. ❜
❛ You know nothing of hell. ❜
❛ How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn’t work? ❜
❛ I’m actually feeling rather good about this. ❜
❛ You could surrender. ❜
❛ I’m gonna teach you the meaning of pain. ❜
❛ You like pain? Try wearing a corset. ❜
❛ Wretch. ❜
❛ I couldn’t resist, mate. ❜
❛ That’s got to be the best pirate I’ve ever seen. ❜
❛ I cannot just step aside and let you escape. ❜
❛ This shot was not meant for you. ❜
❛ You’re pirates. ❜
❛ Hang the code, and hang the rules. They’re more like guidelines, anyway. ❜
❛ You lying bastard! ❜
❛ Don’t dare impugn me honor, boy/girl! ❜
❛ I always liked you. ❜
❛ It goes with your black heart. ❜
❛ I really rather hoped we were past all this. ❜
❛ Perhaps you’ll conjure up another miraculous escape, but I doubt it. ❜
❛ Do us a favor. I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try not to do anything… stupid. ❜
❛ Even a good decision if made for the wrong reasons can be a wrong decision. ❜
❛ Any man who falls behind, is left behind. ❜
❛ Take what you can! Give nothin’ back. ❜
❛ I hardly believe in ghost stories. ❜
❛ We are cursed men. ❜
❛ Will you be saving her/him then? ❜
❛ I can’t swim. ❜
❛ I’m watching over you. ❜
❛ I should have told you from the moment I met you. I love you. ❜
❛ Hang him. ❜
❛ Keep your guns on him, men. ❜
❛ How did you escape last time? ❜
❛ This man/woman/person saved my life. ❜
❛ One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. ❜
❛ Come out… and we promise we won’t hurt you. ❜
❛ I invoke the right of parlay. ❜
❛ I can’t breathe. ❜
❛ You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before? ❜
❛ I had a dream about you last night. ❜
❛ You don’t want to be doing that, mate. ❜
❛ I’m curious. After killing me, what is it you’re planning on doing next? ❜
❛ Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? ❜
❛ You forget your place. ❜
❛ So, this is where your heart truly lies? ❜
❛ I already feel like a fool. ❜
❛ I admire a person who’s willing to do whatever’s necessary. ❜
❛ You’re a smart man/woman/person, but I don’t entirely trust you. ❜
❛ I’m not sure I deserved that. ❜
❛ I may have deserved that. ❜
❛ You’re safe now. ❜
❛ You’re despicable. ❜
❛ I saved your life, you saved mine. We’re square. ❜
❛ I can get you out of here. ❜
❛ I’d need a lot more to drink. ❜
❛ It was a good plan.. up ‘till now. ❜
❛ Do not make the mistake in thinking you are the only man here who cares for NAME. ❜
❛ Is there a problem between us? ❜
❛ Every decision you’ve made has only brought us from bad to worse. ❜
❛ Easy on the goods, darling. ❜
❛ I’m not entirely sure that I’ve had enough rum to allow that kind of talk. ❜
❛ He’s still breathing. ❜
❛ Easy on the goods, darling. ❜

Operation OTP

A/N: A request from @minim236 for a Spencer x Reader where they are secretly dating, but the team doesn’t know and are still trying to get them together. @coveofmemories


“Should we tell them?” Spencer asked you, after reading the message on his phone. 

It was 8 AM and you were on your way upstairs. Since you’d started at the BAU, and realized how close you lived to Spencer, you’d carpooled in each morning. After about six months, you realized how much you liked each other and started dating, but you’d been carrying on your relationship right under the noses of your friends and co-workers. Apparently, they also thought you were a match, because they had been trying to get you together for months. “Nah,” you replied, “It’s too much fun seeing how they’ll try to get us together next.”

“Well, tonight, Morgan’s plan is to get us all to go out drinking,” he laughed, taking another look at his phone. “He claims that if I get drunk, I’ll work up the courage to tell you how much I like you.”

Spencer didn’t need any alcohol. He’d revealed to you after a particularly rough case what you meant to him, and you told him you felt the same. At the time, he had been a little shy, but that all fell to the wayside when you kissed him. That night had ended with some heavy making out on your couch. “If he only knew,” you laughed.


As they walked off the elevator, Emily, Morgan, Garcia and JJ sat against their desks trying to figure out how Spencer and Y/N hadn’t started dating. “They are meant for each other,” Garcia exclaimed, throwing her ring-clad hands in the air. “He’s a genius, she’s a genius. They are both the sweetest people in the world. They’re both cute, why aren’t they dating?” 

“You’re a little too invested,” JJ laughed. “I agree, but breathe. It will all happen in time. We’re gonna make it happen.”

Garcia sighed dreamily, craning her head in the direction of the hallway that led to the coffee shrine, which is where they were undoubtedly headed. “I know. It’s just…they’re my real life OTP, and I wanna make it happen.”

“OTP?” Morgan asked. “What the hell does that mean?”

“One True Pairing,” Emily, JJ and Garcia said simultaneously. 

While Spencer and Y/N grabbed their morning coffees, undoubtedly downing one a piece even before leaving the room, Emily made sure that she, JJ, Garcia and Morgan were in a separate text feed. They needed to make sure one of them didn’t accidentally let either one of them know that the whole team, including Hotch and Rossi (to much lesser degrees) were rooting for them to get together. “I think they’re coming back,” she said quickly. “Abort mission. Fan out. Stay tuned.” As they all walked back to their desks, Emily waved her phone in the air. They had tried to push the two of them together on a couple of different occasions recently, but they were getting closer. Just another little push or two…


Throughout the day, the four matchmakers exchanged a string of texts, trading ideas and attempting to figure out which one would work best for their one true pairing. 

M: These two are getting on my last nerve.

JJ: Why?

G: Because we’re pulling out all our best matchmaking moves and nothing is working.

M: Exactly.

E: Something has to work. We know they love each other. They know they love each other. It’s just going to take something really romantic to get things going. I can feel it.

JJ: They definitely are the romantic types. Okay, so let’s float around some ideas. What are Spence and Y/N’s favorite things?

M: Books.

G: Coffee.

E: Chocolate.

JJ: Star Wars.

G: Good, let’s work with this. What can we set up, involving one or more of these things, that might get the two of them to come out? And I suggest that we make it a group thing and the six of us will conveniently be late.

E: Agreed.

M: Wait…there’s a chocolate expo coming into town for a limited time.

JJ: How the hell do you know that?

M: I keep seeing flyers in my neighborhood. There’ll be sculptures and tastings and all that shit. What if we get them to go there?

G: Omg yes, and those expos normally have private viewings or classes, so we can book one of those for the two of them, say it’s for all of us and then wait in the background and watch the sparks fly. This is totally going to work. Look at my Statuesque God of Chocolate Thunder bringing out the chocolate expo!

M: I’ve always got your back, babygirl. 

G: I know you do, baby.

E: Down, children. Okay, so Garcia, you okay with looking into what kind of viewing or class we can book for them?

G: It would be my honor to be the catalyst of my OTP’s first kiss.

JJ: Smh

JJ: I think we’ve finally nailed down a fail-proof plan. Commence Operation OTP.


“So what do you guys think?” Garcia asked you and Spencer. “We’ve all been under so much stress lately, and who doesn’t love chocolate? They have this chocolate making class you can go to. We can all go and learn how to make chocolate and then we can eat the chocolate. It’ll be so much fun.”

“I’m in,” you replied, knowing this was another one of their elaborate plans. “I could eat chocolate all day every day, so I’m definitely in if I get to eat some of the chocolate.”

Spencer swallowed, barely noticeable to anyone but you. He knew what they were trying to do. “Yea, I guess so. What time is it though? Because it’s on a Saturday, and we’ll be off from work, which means if I can’t sleep late, I’m not going,” he laughed. 

“You’re safe, Spence,” JJ replied, knowing how late he liked to sleep on the weekend. He was normally in a coma when he walked in no matter the day, prior to having his morning cup of coffee that is. “It starts at noon and goes until 6. The expo does. The class is only a couple hours.”

“Then I’m in,” he said, taking another swig of his coffee. “It’s next Saturday? Not this Saturday?” Emily nodded, taking solace in the fact that they’d come this far in their plan. “Dammit, now I want chocolate. To the vending machine I go…”


One Saturday passed and the next arrived, which meant it was the day that Emily, JJ, Garcia and Morgan would execute their perfect plan. “This is so going to work,” Garcia clapped as they walked into the expo. Spencer and Y/N had already texted that they were waiting in class. “I can feel it this time.”

As they made their way into the convention center, flashing their badges, which served as their tickets, they scanned the masses of people to see if they spotted the soon-to-be lovebirds. “There’s the area for the cooking class,” Rossi said. “I can’t believe you managed to put this together.”

“I mean, I know we’ve all been hoping for them to get together,” Hotch laughed, “But this is dedication.”

“You know I am nothing if not dedicated, sir,” Garcia replied. “There they are!” She splayed her hands outward, keeping everyone from moving another step. “Let’s observe.”


“They really have gone to amazing lengths to get us together over the past few months,” you said, turning your back to Spencer so he could tie your apron behind your back. “Maybe we should finally give them the satisfaction of knowing we’re together. I think they ship us.”

“Ship?” he asked bewildered. 

“To ship means to endorse a romantic relationship,” you replied.

Spencer raised on eyebrow. “I was just starting to pick up on slang from the 80s and 90s,” he said. “I’m so lost…but if that’s what it means then I definitely ship us.”

“I ship us too.” You could see the team out of the corner of your eye and told Spencer as much. “Gimme a little kiss.”

With a smile, he leaned up against the counter just as the teacher of the class said they’d start in ten minutes, and planted a chaste kiss on your lips, before jutting the tip of of tongue out ever so slightly. When you opened your eyes again, you smirked, silently telling Spencer to look back and give the team a wave.


“Operation OTP is a success!” Garcia cried, clapping wildly as the rest of the team said it was about damn time. 

“Wait?” Morgan said. “Those sneaky…”

“What is it?” she asked. Morgan took her head in both hands and turned it back toward Spencer and Y/N. They were waving back at them. Everyone’s mouths had dropped open in disbelief. How had they not picked up on that?

“They’re already dating?!” Garcia screamed.

A final sketch of Fingon. Dear Followers, It looks like this is my final post here! It’s time to finally say goodbye to this blog but…I was hoping I’d be able to leave with more control. Though being more active on twitter is part of why I haven’t been updating this blog the other main reason is I’ve lost access to it on the computer. The only reason I’m able to make this post is because I’ve thankfully been logged in on the Tumblr app on my phone. Since late last year I haven’t been able to log in on the computer because it keeps telling me there’s no account under the email I use (even though it’s the correct email I’m using). Tumblr has been super unhelpful by never answering any of the help requests I’ve sent them. Honestly, I don’t understand why they don’t have the option of changing your account’s email on the mobile app. I wish I could at least give control of this account to my other account. I’ve given up hope regaining access. I thought about deleting this blog since I’ll no longer have access to it once I log off on my phone but I guess I should keep up for the sake of archiving and also for those who still want to look at my old art. I really don’t know. If this does stay open please continue to respect my wishes to not repost/use my art without permission. Before I go I’d like to thank you all for supporting my art these past few years. It’s hard to believe I started this when I was graduating high school and now I’m 24. It was a lot of fun making friends here and I’m really grateful for the silmarillion/tolkien fandom especially. If you guys would still like to follow me/my art there are several places you can go: Twitter: - @ motherofbees: this is my most active account out of all. It’s my main twitter and it’s mostly me re/tweeting stuff related to fandoms I’m in/animals/whatever I find interesting or important. I also post art on here but it’s all fanart. If you want to know whenever I re-open my shop this is the account to follow. - stephescamora: this is my art twitter mostly for original art or finished fanart I really like. It’s also a sort of journal for my life. Any future Tolkien art will be found here. Tumblr: - same username as the art twitter one though twitter is updated more often. I’m probably gonna make a new IG with that username and I’ll announce it on twitter/blog. Well, that’s it I think! Sorry in advance if this post uploads as one giant paragraph. I can’t really tell how this will look since mobile is so unreliable. Again, thank you everyone for your kindness and for following my art. See you later💖

The Guardian from Afar

Member: Rap Monster // BTS

Main Plot: They have to get the money before their family can suffer.

Short Summary: A leader was supposed the most composed figure in a gang, meanwhile NamJoon had long since lost his cool.

A/N: Took me like forever to write this. Sorry, @kawaii-hedgehog, but I still hope you’ll find this as enjoyable as the previous ones xD

Words: 2.3k

/ SeokJin // YoonGi // HoSeok // NamJoon // JiMin // TaeHyung // JeongGuk /

“NamJoon, wouldn’t it be a great thing to have an invisible red tie of fate with the person you are destined to be with; to know that somewhere in this world, there is someone out there, waiting for you just as you wait for them?” her sleepy voice asked as she was hunched over, supposedly studying.

“In a romantic perspective, sure, but in reality, it would only hurt you more at the end.”  He answered curtly, shutting his book and sending her a fleeting glance. “Why? Thinking about marriage already?” it was a childish jab at her, the kind that they always played upon each-other, only this time there was silence as his reply. “Wait, seriously?” his eyes widened in shock, and his heart swelled with pain. “Aren’t you a little bit too young for that?”

She sighed disdainfully and pushed off her `Psychology on the human behaviour` books to the side. “I have one too many debts nowadays; can’t keep up with them, either. Marriage seems like the only way out of this mess, you know?”

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okay this was written for @queen-mabs-revenge. I said it would be best left to the fanfic professionals but I gave it a go. I hope it’s okay, milady!!

The missing moments that lead up to Archie finding Killian in the diner.

Killian’s knee bounced with restless energy as he stared out onto the morning horizon. It was barely 8am and yet he’d been sitting by the water for an hour already. He was hoping to catch the cricket on his morning walk, needing to seek his counsel. The man already knew of his dilemma, it felt only right that he’d be able to advise him in what to do with the addition conflict Killian had learned about, not twelve hours prior.

It was tearing him apart.

For once, things were actually going right; his hopes for his happy ending were finally laying out a path in front of him and the signs were giving him a clear indication that what he wanted was right in front of him, ready to be reached.

He should have known things were due to go south.

Once again, his past had come back to blow up in his face and remind him exactly of what he used to be- what he still might be.

A villain.

And villains don’t get their happy endings.

This was why he needed to speak with Archie.

He needed his assurance that he was doing the right thing. That he wasn’t a villain, not anymore. That his happy ending could still be there for him if he held on to hope- he needed Archie’s help to ground him. To help him see reason.

He heard the familiar bark of a dog and spun round to see the man himself walking briskly down the pier and towards town.

He was rising from his perch on the stone wall; ready to approach the man when he faltered. He hadn’t counted on the old wood carver to be accompanying him.

Talking with Archie was uncomfortable enough. Killian wasn’t used to opening up and baring his inner thoughts and feelings, so the thought of other inhabitants of the town knowing his business, or the fact he was seeing a shrink, made him all the more uneasy. He couldn’t confide in him if others were around, that he was sure.

He sighed in frustration and watched the men continue their walk into town, turning on his heel and marching off briskly in the other direction.

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kyren  asked:

*Adele voice* Hello... its me...If its not much asking 64 + with triplet!Kylo telling Ben and Matt about his girlfriend's for 10 years (lets say they dated since they were 14 or something) pregnancy. Like, no reader included. Because he barely keeps contact with Han and Leia and doesn't know how to tell them he is going to be a father. Or even more angst ™ he overheard Han saying Kylo shouldn't have children because he isn't mentally stable at some point in the past. Idk, sad and floff. Pls🌸?

*Lionel Richie voice* Hello, is it mee you’re looking for?

Haha, I love this idea so much and thought about it while I was at work so here’s this as a result! It turned out a little longer than usual (its basically a mini fic) but it was worth it. Hope you like it hun :)

Modern AU Triplet Kylo +  “You’re having twins?!”

The memory played in his head repeatedly, as if his subconcious wanted to chastise him in the moment.

Kylo’s shoulders dropped from their stance as he heard that all too familiar gruff voice on the other side of the wall. He was supposed to be leaving for the gym before meeting up with his new girlfriend (Y/N), but after hearing his name he had to listen in. A mistake he already regretted.

“Han, you don’t need to be so rough on him.”

“Well how the hell else is he going to learn? God help the woman that ends up with him, if anyone does.”

“Han, don’t say that. I would only ever hope he finds someone, and gives us grandkids.”

Han scoffed, “The last thing he should do in his life is become a father Leia. There’s not enough stability there.”

His nostrils flared, the words seeming as though they were only spoken yesterday. The wound still felt fresh, in addition to the others he had acquired from what he overheard and witnessed. Now, the words from the past weighed far more heavily on his shoulders as well as his heart.

Seated before him on the couch were his brothers, Matt and Ben, their brows furrowed and attention fully focused on him. It had been months since they had seen him, the last time ending in a heated dispute. Now they were hastily reunited in Matt’s apartment, tense yet relieved to all be together again. Matt cleared his throat as he adjusted the glasses sitting upon the bridge of his nose.

“So what’s this uh, meeting about?”

Kylo twiddled with his thumbs, “I wanted to see you guys again.”

Matt gave him a small smile, happy to hear his typically brooding brother express any form of emotion. 

Ben huffed faintly, “As true as that may be, there’s more to this.”

Kylo looked up at Ben in surprise. Much like Kylo, Ben was blunt, though not in the same fashion.


“I know you better than that. You wanted to see us again, but you have other things concering you too.”

Kylo’s lip curled up for a faint moment at that. With a deep breath he ran his hand through his ebony locks, trying to assure he spoke clearly.

“You got me.”

Ben smirked slightly, “Triplet telepathy.”

“Ok. So I came to see you…and I came to tell you the news.”

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Starco week 3 - Recovery

Ok, this morning was very quiet for me, so I had time to think of a bunch of different ideas, on thing was a concept for Recovery (yes, another one a day late), and so here it is, ISO’S 2ND FIC, BOIS
Here we go.

Thanks for reading!

“Hey Marco!” Star said, excitedly, as she entered Marco’s room.

Well, the hospital’s room, but Marco’s name was on the tag so it was his! The young princess skipped around Marco’s bed and took a seat on a stool next to all the medical monitors.

“The things we could do with this kind of magic on Mewni..” she started, “maybe I should bring it up to mom next I’m in Mewni!”

Star exhaled, calming herself down. She wasn’t there for fun, she was there to check up on Marco. Something that’s become an everyday matter for her.

“3 months, huh?” She asked the monitors, hoping their beeping could somehow give her the answer. Star turned to the little table on the far side of the room and used her wand to create a beautiful bouquet of Mewnian flowers, next to the other flowers she’d conjured for the past days.

“Has someone been throwing out my flowers?” She pouted, noticing there was a definite lack of flowers than the day before. “Ugh, these doctors!” She scoffed. “Can’t appreciate true beauty!” She stuck her tongue out at toward all the nurses in the hospital. They couldn’t see her, but her intentions were there.

She came back to her surroundings again. It was cool in the room. A temperature that wasn’t cold, but wasn’t too hot that one could be uncomfortable in. A simple table, a TV that was airing a rerun of Fravity Galls. Really there wasn’t anything here that could disturb anyone. Not that it would disturb Marco.

Star’s wandering eyes found their rest at her feet. That was the only place she dared to look, because anything in the room reminded her of the state Marco has ended up in. It was the only place she wanted to look, not bearing the sight of Marco.

Marco was laying on the bed with several tubes sticking out of him, connected to one of the machines Star was sitting next to. It were these tubes that were keeping Marco alive. It were these tubes that were gave Star ta feeling of total dread and guilt, as she believed it was because of her that Marco was now in this state.

Marco had been in a coma, and according to the doctors, he would be staying in a coma.

Star was confused to why Marco’s parents would try to “hold on to hope”, expecting Marco to wake up as if any day now.

Where they saw possibility, She saw pain, agony, and torture.

However, today was going to be different from all the other days.

Star’s silent mouth twisted into a smile, “Oh Marco!” She said in the softest and sweetest way possible, as if trying not wake him. “I’ve been doing some research, and I think I know the best way to help you!” Her voice was shaky, but she was able to steel herself. If she was going to go through with her plan, she couldn’t be hesitant or it may not work.

“I know of this place that’ll be able to fix you!” Star was excited. “I’ll take you there, you’ll be all better!” She was wiping away her appearing tears. “The best part is, we can stay there, and we won’t have to worry about anything! We won’t need to come back, because we’ll both be there.” She couldn’t help but choke up a little, “and as long as you’re there, I’ll be happy.”

It was starting to get difficult, but Star HAD to press on. She knew if she did this, she could see Marco again. “So, what do you say, Marco? Let’s go on one more adventure, one that’ll never end!” She didn’t wait for a response, as if she could recieve one.

Star got up from her chair and kneeled next to the machine with all the tubes in them. She grabbed it and turned it to expose the cables.

“Oof, what a mess, they should really organize these cables.” Star said, trying to make herself think of anything else.

She followed one cord, the most important one.

The power cord.

With her trembling hand, she clutched the base of the plug.

Star had a new smile on her face. A hysterical smile. Her mouth wide, a grin from ear to ear, but with these eyes.

Eyes that had forgotten, eyes that had nothing behind them.

With a slight tug, the plug simply disconnected from the wall.

“Huh.” Star said, not as to inquire, but as to add something more to her actions than just a simple tug.

The other machines started beeping loudly, error messages flashing. She could hear sounds of panic and rushing from outside the door.

Star stood up quickly, raising her wand to the door and casting a locking spell on the door, then conjuring a guant rock to block the door, just for good measure.

Beeping and beeping, hands slamming the door, Star just stared. Stared at Marco’s body. Tears running down her eyes, but still giving off that hysteric smile.

She walked over to the bed, and stroked Marco’s hair. “It’ll be ok, Marco, don’t be scared. Don’t worry about that beeping…” She whispered, hoping to calm down the unreactive boy.

The machines were beeping loudly, as if yelling at Star. She ignored them, and started telling stories to Marco, stories of their meetings, how she had a great time living with him and his family. She told him about how much fun she’s had on their adventures. “You’ve given me so much, Marco.” She said through her smile. “So please let me do this for you.”

The machines stopped their repetitive beeping, and let out one, single, droning, beep.


Star finished by kissing Marco’s forehead. “I love you, Marco…” nothing but the flatline responded.

Star stood up straight. Took her wand into both hands, and whispered into it.

The wand lit up in a fantastical glow. Changing form into that of a small dagger. The glow ended with a small flash, a spark, and in place of her wand was an ornate dagger that came up to a fine point, a floral pattern on both sides that shaped a butterfly.

She lifted the dagger, sharp end toward her, up to her throat. She grabbed Marco’s hand, hoping his fading warmth can give her a facade of strength.

Looking up at the ceiling, she gripped his hand harder and told him, “Don’t worry Marco… I’ll see you soon.”


The end

Back 2 U (1:27 AM)

Originally posted by neogohann

Genre: Angst

Words: 1597

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Inspired by Back 2 U (1:27AM) by NCT 127

All I wanted was for you to want me
Now indulging in sins unspeakable,
I still seek you in that darkness.
When you finally want me back,
You won’t find me, I’m no more me,
And we won’t ever be us again.

Yoongi laid on his bed, still out of breath. He had just finished fucking a third girl that night. He hoped that would be enough to keep his thoughts at bay. The one he had brought back came out of the bathroom; wearing his clothes, after using his shampoo, his soap and his finally his towel. It made him sick to think of anyone but her wearing his clothes. But instead of tearing the clothes off her and kicking her out of his apartment, he simply sat up straighter and pulled the sheets away. His poisoned thoughts were hidden behind his gummy smile and crinkled eyes. He grabbed his phone and turned away from the girl slipping into his bed to refrain her from seeing his smile turn into an ugly sneer.

He simply browses through his phone aimlessly, ignoring the girl as she turns towards him, her body curled up under the covers, her fingertips just shy of his skin. Just as her breathing evens out, he dares to relax and puts his phone on the night stand. His hand reaches out to switch the night lamp off. He slips under the covers and lays still, staring at the ceiling. His eyes flutter close as he listens to the even breathing of the girl next to him, the girl whose name he had already forgotten. He let himself indulge in this short-term comfort of not being alone. He let himself be convinced he was wanted. He knew it was foolish. But he let himself slip into a dreamless slumber, pushing the vicious thoughts back.

After a while, an incessant vibration shakes him awake. He fumbles in the dark, feeling around for the source of vibration. He realises that the caller is his recent ex, y/n. his heart involuntarily constricts when he sees her name flash brightly in the dark. His heart pangs with slight guilt when he slips out from under the covers, leaving the unnamed girl cold in the bed, for a reason unknown but maybe he wasn’t that cruel, cold and apathetic as he wanted to be. Closing the bedroom door behind him softly in hopes of not waking her, he picks up the call as he heads to the living room.

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January 10, 2017

Solange: A Seat at the Table

Many artists today talk about the dramatic shift in the music industry in which the audience does not appreciate albums in their entirety. This year, my resolution is to listen to music the way it is supposed to – as one coherent piece of work. 

With the rain pouring in San Francisco, California, I was given an opportunity to take a day to myself without feeling guilty. I decided to take a nice, hot bath and play Solange’s A Seat at the Table. I listened to the album for the first time when it was released back in September but I haven’t listened to it all the way through since. This album is a masterpiece and I don’t use that word lightly. It is an important album that people must listen to in 2017, especially young black women. The interplay between her singing and the occasional messages from her parents about what it means to be black in America represents this new black pride movement that has swept the US the past few years. Her tone is soft, but powerful. It’s not aggressive, or angry, but rather hopeful and resolved. A Seat at the Table tells her story in a poetic and beautiful way. It gives a new meaning to the title in which she invites the audience to sit and listen to her story in which she celebrates her identity as a black woman. The music itself is light and the transitions between songs are absolutely seamless. Overall, this album is a magnificent piece of art that should receive the highest of praises for its lyrical and musical content as well as Solange’s vision. 


First things first, thank you so much to the thousands of you following us throughout the past year! It has been a very fun ride keeping up with such an indescribable person, whether it’s by posting pictures, videos, news, or the tweets that give us a bit of hope in humanity and brightens our days. Many other fanblogs have been around for much longer, but to us, it is a personal accomplishment to get past the first year and go on for even further than that, fingers crossed! We also do hope that all of you, and hopefully many more, stick around with us.

Due to the occasion, I updated the look of the blog and even added a filmography page, so make sure to check it out! (Hover over the posters for the movie information) Should anyone wish to be a part of our team, make sure to check out our application to become an affiliate or a member, we would love to have you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and here’s to Chris keeping our lives just that much more interesting for a long time coming.

xo Daily Chris R. Evans

有人曾经告诉我,梦,其实是一个人的心的样子。There was once a person who told me this, dreams, are actually what a person’s heart looks like.
—  Zhang Yixing 《而立 · 24》
Am I strong enough?

Summary: Y/N and Sebastian Have been dating for over 2 years,and there is a huge age gap between them. Will Y/N be strong enough to deal with mean shit around her or will she simply give up? 

Parings: Sebastian and Y/N

Warnings: Little bit of language

Word Count: 2k

Authors note: Hey guys this is my firts imagine after awhile, i hope you like it. If you have any request, hit me.

I never thought I would find myself in this kind of crossway. I never thought of myself as a quitter, but sometimes you’re not as strong as you you thought you were, or wanted to be.

I knew from the moment when he entered my life that it wouldn’t be easy, and I guess I hadn’t prepared myself enough. I love him, I love him with all my heart and I will never stop loving him. But life is a cruel and ironic game in which you have to be prepared for loss, even if you gave everything you had, and the odds were on your side.

And if it means you’re losing everything and everyone, and you can do nothing else but suck it up and keep going. I mean, you can stay and live in the past while life keep going on, with or without you, but I don’t recommend it. Past is past and it should stay that way. It’s there to remind us what we’ve been through, but we can’t stay in the memories for too long.

I was scrolling through my phone, searching for new methods of how to do my makeup, or if anyone had any suggestion which book should I read next, when I came across an article.

Where is this world going? What is so interesting in dating a girl, who you could father?

I was about to scroll down, and not give this article second look, but then under the title, I spotted Sebastian Stan and his girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N, and I just couldn’t scroll past it anymore. I know Seb would be so mad at me for paying attention to the bullshit that people were saying about us, but I just somehow couldn’t resist.

I opened it, and flew over the content of the article.

What is wrong with this generation? Where is this world going, and where will we end up with people like this, who let things like this happen. This is a typical proof of parenting gone wrong. I hope parents will now understand that giving you child every single thing that he/she wants, isn’t always a good option.And that you should support them, but not everytime. Not every little thing that they want to do.

“Love has no age” I really doesn+t, but this quote is being very wrongly used. Yes, love is love, and we should do nothing else but support it, whether we’re happy with it or not. And yes, age difference isn’t a crime, or a bad thing, while is under 3 to 7 years. More we just call Pedophilia.

And the gap between the famous actor from Captain America and Avengers cinematic sequences, Sebastian Stan (34), and his, now year and a half, girlfriend miss Y/N Y/L/N (16). The pair seems to be happier than ever, but isn’t she just too young for him?

There was more shit like this, and it just kept getting meaner. I usually didn’t pay attention to those stuff because Seb wouldn’t let me, and now I see that he only wanted to protect me, at least how much he could. But probably he should’ve let me see things like this before, so i would get used to it, so it wouldn’t hit me so hard anymore. But neither of us thought about that.

By the end of the article I was in tears. I’ve always been a very emotional person and words would hit me harder than you could except them to. And somehow they would always find their way into my brain and my heart, burying themselves deeply and become a daily reminder. I know I shouldn’t listen to those people, to those voices in my head, who are telling me it’s wrong to love him, I don’t deserve him and I should just leave him be.

But probably he would be best off without me. No for sure he would, maybe in the beginning he would be completely devastate, and so would I, hate the thing that we are far from each other, but I know how much pain shit like this causes him. i know he hates this shit that they are writting about us, and the fact that he can’t do anything about it. He is trying to hide it from me, pretend that he isn’t bothered by it, when in reality he is.

I didn’t hear him when he entered the house, and I had no idea how long he was standing behind, leaning onto door, his arms crossed on his chest. But his voice, soft as fur, but strong as rock, brought me back into the real world, far away from my voices. “Darling, what happened?”

I wanted to turn around, run up to him and burry my face into the crook of his neck, and cry my soul out. but I just couldn’t move. I know I probably should, at least turn around and look at him, because it may be the last time I will see his angelic face. I know how my words will effect him, but there is no other way. At least not the one that I can see.

My voice was quiet, not louder than a whisper “We have to–’” and when I needed it the most it broke and I just couldn’t get the words to pass my throat and make a sentence. I took a deep breath, stood up and turned around. I looked at his beautiful face that was created by God himself, he looked like an angel, my angel, a very worried one, at the moment. I think he knows what I am about to say but he is still waiting patiently. “We have to break up,”

His eyes widened in shock, denial then anger. With two big steps, he appeared in front of me. He looked at me still in shock of the words that he just heard. He put his hand on my sholders, his eyes were moving fastly all over my face, looking for an explanation.

 “Bu-but why? I don’t understand, darling, I- I thought you- we were happy. What happened? Please don’t do this, we will work it out whatever it is. Please, baby doll.” His voice was full of pain and each word felt like a knife, stabbing me right into the heart. He was sure that we will be able to work it out, but this is something i’m not sure we can.

“I am sorry.” I whispered while tears were streaming down my face. I took another deep breath, and prayed that this time my voice won’t break and I would be able to say what’s on my mind. I lifted my head and looked into his blue eyes preparing for the tears that I know will come, even thoughI don’t want them to.

“I can’t do this, I thought I could, and from the beggining it was easy, we were in love, and we still are, but honey, you never showed me how they were shiting on us. How they were and still are shiting on our love. And tonight when i found out, it just hit me, way too hard, I can’t even explain how I feel right now. Because I am not even sure myself. And you may think I am not willing to try and work this out, but i don’t think i can. You tried to protect me, and thank you for that,but fucking hell you can’t always protect me. . And I know you pretend like it doesn’t fucking hurt or bother you, but I know it does, I know it’s hard for you to deal with it, and it’s hard for me to see you this way. so that’s why I want to get you out of this fucking misery and let you live a happy life where the only worry you will have, will be about the role that you may not get. And don’t think I don’t love you, I do, I fucking love you more than I ever loved anyone or anything, and I would fucking die for you anytime, without thinking about it twice. But I will be selfish and say that this isn’t the life I deserve. I didn’t fucking do anything to be called a fucking slut. All I did was love, and all I still do, you. And I always will, but I can’t live, now knowing, what was bothering you for year and the half. I just ca- jus-t- i can’t.. 

By this point we were both crying messes and it hurt me like hell to see him cry, but I had to end this, we have to end is, this relationship isn’t healthy for neither of us. And God know’s how much I don’t want to.

He cupped my face with his soft hands and pressed an angry kiss onto my lips. The kiss was all wet because of our tears, but it was strong, angry and full of decision. Our lips moved in sync and it felt so good, and i know i will miss this and many other things. After few seconds he pulled away, even though I wanted more.

“You will not fucking leave me, do you hear me, baby doll? I won’t fucking leave you. I know it’s fucking hard to take that in, but that’s why you have me, if you felt like this for a long time, why didn’t you come and talk to me about it? Yes it is hard for me, but I would rather have it hard and you by my side, than have it easy and fucking lose you doll. And doll, I don’t want you to fucking die for me, that’s way too easy, if you really love me, live for me, fucking live for me. That’s harder than dying, because when you die you leave everything behind, but living for somebody means dealing with all the shit that comes along. But never alone, that’s why there are two in relationship and not one. I love you, baby girl, do you hear me, and I fucking love you like I never loved anyone else in my life. Yes I had other girlfriends, but not any had my head spinning around like you have, just by thinking about you. I know this is hard, considering your age, and I know that you are not ready to take so much, I know doll, I know. But let me help you, put half of the burden on me, it will be easier, trust me. Just don’t fucking leave me, please.”

“Honey, I can’t, I just can-“

“Yes you can, baby doll, you have me by your side. I know you think you’re not strong enough but you are, trust me. There is so much more strength inside you that you don’t even know about. Just trust me, okay? Trust me, we will go through this together.”

His ocean blue eyes looked at me with so much hope, and I know he mean everything that he is saying. Maybe, maybe there is strength inside me but I am so tired of trying to find it.

I put my palms on his cheeks, whipped his tears of, pull him closer and kissed him. I kissed him deeply and strongly, memorizing every little bit about this lips, about their taste and shape. I broke the kiss and I pressed my head against his, breathing slowly and irregularly. I slowly raised my eyes to meet his. “I am sorry.” I whispered as tears streamed down.

The shock on his face and the pain in his eyes, were almost the death of me, so I pulled away from his as fast as I could because I couldn’t stand to look at what I’ve just done to him. He looked like he was about to say something but he couldn’t.

 I started walking away when I stopped. “Forgive me if you ever can, if you ever find enough strength, but if you don’t, hate me, despise me but know that I will always, always love you. You will always have a special place in my heart, but we met at the wrong time. Who knows maybe our paths cross again, but until then, Te iubesc din toată inima(i love you with all my heart), remember that. Goodbye Sebastian.”

I walked away with empty chest because my heart was his, and it always will be.  I opened the door and stepped into the cold night, hating on everything and everyone, mostly myself but i knew i had to do this. I will never love anyone like i loved him. 

anonymous asked:

can you show us how you make gifs ? gimp is confusing ahh

Sure! ill try to make it as simple and quick as possible

I’ll explain how I do the blinking since it’s what i do most, 

this is just how I do it, there are many other ways but i found this to be the best for me :)

so to achieve this blinking touka…. (ignoring the red ghoul eye)

We are gonna first need to draw the “base” image on whatever program you prefer (photoshop, Krita,SAI.. doesn’t matter) , mine are always the subject with the eyes open. Also, try to not have TOO much detail, I usually don’t spend much time on the hair, but rather focus on the skin and features.

Now that we have that exported as a .PNG file, we are going to create the movement of the blinking, i usually do four frames consisting of the eyes open, slightly closed,¾ closed and closed (i just draw over my base drawing and save as i go). you should end up with four drawings with everything except the eyes being the same! >>

Now let us jump to GIMP,open up your base image, then “file>open as layer” for all the other frames, you should have something like this on the layers tab to the left of the screen. 

Now to achieve a natural blink, simply right click layer “3/4 closed” and copy it then paste it on top of “eyes closed” repeat that to the remaining layers, I hope this picture makes it much clearer >>

Ok, now go to filters>animation>playback, this will show you a demo of how your animation loops (this is where to do changes to your drawing if you don’t like how the eyes blink)

you should now get a nice blink! like this>

following this concept, you can copy and paste more “base drawing” layers to get a longer pause between blinks, or add two blinks close together then one blink after a few second pause (pretty common and gives a natural effect)

keep using the playback button to check on how your image blinks until you’re satisfied with the number of blinks and how long the pauses are.

alright, now that you have your desired blinking animation, do you just save? nope! for your drawing to load faster on tumblr you need to get your drawing to the smallest possible file size.

to do that you need to go “to filters>animation>optimize (for gif)”, this great tool cuts your file size from 2 MB to 90 KB!! (with compromising a little bit of quality)

after optimizing GIMP will open a new window with the now smaller file sized drawing, simply save that by going to “file>export as..>”  and save your file as a .GIF file, a new window will pop up and it should look like this>>

click on the “as animation” button and the “loop forever” button, THESE ARE IMPORTANT. now just click export and you are done!!

of course this is just the very simple basics of how I use GIMP to get blinking effect, If you want another tutorial on glowing effects or changing colours please let me know! I hope this was helpful :)


some of daesung’s most iconic chest pumping/popping over the past 8 years (2008-2016); here’s to hoping that daesung gives us more in 2017!!

bonus, with cl:

anonymous asked:

how do i add links to the notes on my fic? i see other people do it but am too embarrassed to ask...


Don’t worry—the Notes sections on the AO3 posting page don’t have Rich Text Editor features, so a lot of people wonder at first how to add links and other formatting.

The answer is that you use html tags to add them. There’s a section of the AO3 FAQ that addresses this, but it kind of assumes a basic knowledge of how html works. You can check out the Wikipedia entry on html if you’d like to learn those basics. For now, though, I’m just going to give you the code required to add links, because copying and pasting is easy, at least. =)

If you copy and paste the code below and then remove the spaces before and after the angle brackets and replace the text in all-caps with the URL and link text you want to use (being sure to leave the quotation marks and everything else in place), your link should show up in your notes all nice and shiny.


I hope that helps. If you have any other questions about AO3, the best place on tumblr to direct them is to the main AO3 account. This fuckyeahao3 account is pretty much defunct—I just keep tabs on the inbox while moderating the main OTW tumblr. And while I’m happy to help people who need it, I’m not a tech person, and my knowledge of how AO3 actually works is sadly limited. Or, if you’d prefer, you can go ahead and contact Support directly to open a ticket.

Stay (Luke Hemmings)

AN:Not really sure about this, I had an idea but I wasn’t sure how to write it so it jumps from different scenes alot.

Hasn’t everyone had the urge to leave everything behind? Hasn’t everyone got that same itch beneath the skin burning with every second you that something isn’t done about it.Doesn’t everyone want to escape to another life for a while, before bordem starts to settle in the stomach and the longing to leave kicks in again. Luke always knew she wanted to get away, he always knew she felt like this.

He didn’t understand how desperately, or why for that matter of fact, but he didn’t try to understand he guessed. His mind just didn’t work the same as hers, she was always in search of adventure, something to make her feel alive for a while, to banish all her fears about love and loss, what it’s like to not be by herself. She was scarily dependent, cold like stone- no, more like ice because ice melts when the right person comes along and warms it up.

 She cared for very few people, caring is overrated in her mind. It fucks you up. She understood the world so much better than anybody else, seeing past all the distractions that kept others satisfied, they were all stupid to her, all pretending to be happy when they weren’t. She saw the hurt and the fears behind everyone and everything, the people around her were all see through and she could look through them straight away.

As cliché as she knows it is, she knows why she’s like this. Isn’t every neglected rich kid the same? 

The start of a fuck up starts with the parents right? The lack of attention is truly damaging to a young child, that’s why they grow up to be independent statues of ice. Cold blooded, ruthless and unloving. But it has its benefits. Their emotions are fucked up. What makes a normal person cry makes them laugh,what makes a normal person laugh might make them cry. But then again…probably not.

She preferred not to stick around her ‘home’. The country was a reminder. Occasionally she’d come home but with the money she had and the urge to explore the world why would she want to stick around. The only reason she ever came back was to unpack her stuff and then pack again. Oh and see Luke. Maybe if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t come back at all.

Maybe if it wasn’t for her parents constantly going away to work on purpose so they didn’t have to spend time with her, she would be different. Maybe she would want to stay, or maybe she was always destined to keep leaving. She understood why her parents didn’t want to e around her, it was no excuse really. An event that should make you value your family more turned out to do the exact opposite. Instead her father turned the blame onto her and her mother would not dare to go against him so naturally she never said or stood up for her.

It wasn’t her fault that her younger sister and baby brother were the unfortunate ones. It could have been any of them. The car just went down and it kept sinking, the water welcomed it and wanted to drag the car to the bottom taking them with it. She got out first, she tried her hardest to undo the seat belt, she really did but gravity was against them from the start and she wasn’t strong enough, it was impossible, the car kept falling and falling until it was dark and there wasn’t even a trace. But of course it’s her fault.

The once perfect family now had cracks in it. The true personalities were being revealed now, how they hid themselves before made no sense to her. They still looked like a family, a house larger than any one else’s in town with it’s private land around it and iron gates that lead to the front door. They fired the butler and chef; there was no need for them now, there was only one person who was ever in the house. Although she wasn’t really. She was probably in a different country more than she was at home.


She walked the sunny streets of LA, sunglasses on and embracing the warmest breeze she’s ever encountered. Her phone beeped several times before she bothered to answer.

‘hello?’ said asked 

‘hey y/n’

‘Luke! how are you?’ she asked excitedly.

‘i’m great thanks, you busy right now? I was thinking we could go check out the movie they’re playing in half an hour down at the drive in movie place?’ he replied happily.

‘oh right, yeah um Luke? i’m not in Australia right now…’

‘oh… of course… um… where are you?’ he asked confused. She did’t tell him she was going away.

‘in LA, it’s so beautiful here Luke’ she sighed

‘but.. you just got back from Rome, it’s been what?’ he paused for a second working it out ‘not even three days’ 

‘look Luke, i’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I’ll be back next week though, i’m not staying long. I have to go now though’ she sighed sadly this time.

‘fine. see you next week’ he mumbled hanging up.


‘You should come with me’ she said, sitting on the end of Luke’s bed. ‘don’t you get bored of staying here?’

‘no’ he replied, putting his phone down on the bed.

‘but nothing happens here, life goes too slow’ 

‘i’m happy with my life, I like it here’

‘but you haven’t seen the rest of world, you haven’t bee out there to see what it’s like, it’s so different. You can be whoever you want and no one cares’ she said dreamily at the thought.

‘exactly.’ Luke said ‘no one cares…’

‘what do you mean?’ she asked, eyebrows furrowed downwards.

‘no one cares about you when you’re there because nobody knows you.. it’s got to be lonely right?’

‘that’s why you should come with me’ she said.

‘I told you, I like it here, i’m not bored’

‘it doesn’t have to be for long, just a week. Like a little get away for the two of us right? we’ll have fun, just you and me.’ she said getting her hopes up.

He sighed, giving in. ‘where to?’

‘well, i’ve always wanted to go to London, i’ve always been scared to go by myself’ she said hesitantly.

‘okay. London it is.


‘it’s beautiful’ she said looking around her, taking everything in, before someone in a suit with a brief case shoved past her in a rush. She smiled after him. ‘isn’t it great?’ she asked Luke who was more concentrated on not getting in peoples way.

‘yeah, sure.. can we go somewhere that’s less busy’ 

‘don’t you get it Luke? life is being lived here, that’s why it’s so busy. come on’ she said grabbing his hand and dragging him behind her. 

‘where are we going?’ he asked trying to keep up

‘anywhere, but hurry we have so much to see’ 

‘we have a whole week, we haven’t even been here an hour’

‘exactly we’ve wasted so much time already’ she yelled over the loud noise of the crowds.

They walked until they stopped to look out over the Thames, seeing the big Ben and the parliament building.

‘I love it here’ she said in awe.’don’t you?’  

‘It’s nice, a bit too busy for me though’ Luke said. He wasn’t having fun yet. 

She was so eager to live life quickly. He didn’t understand her.

‘drinks’ she said  ‘lets go find somewhere that does milkshakes’ and she was off again, Luke following behind her.

They found a nice little cafe, walking in, before Luke could say anything she was already at the counter asking for two chocolate milkshakes with ice cream.

‘Australian?’ the young man at the till asked while making their drinks.

‘yep’ she answered smiling.

‘what brings you to London?’

‘we’ve never been before, thought it would be fun’ she replied. 

They sat drinking their milkshakes for a while until the young man who hasd served them finished his shift and came and sat with them.

‘here’ he said handing them a list ‘these are the best places to go, there’s a list of the obvious tourist attractions but I added some more, the best parties happen here every Thursday and if you want a great time than this is the club you want to go to’ he said.

‘thank you’ she said ‘maybe see you around’ she smirked at him, biting her lip suggestively before pulling Luke up to leave.

He was confused. He never saw that side to her before.

‘soooo’ she said as they walked down the pathway never the river. The sky was turning darker as they walked and the temperature was slowly dropping making her pull her coat closer to her body. ‘Have I missed anything going on back in Australia, any gossip? any girls?’ she nudged his arms, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Luke chuckle for a few seconds before his face dropped and he was silent.

‘oooh so there is?’ she picked up on his change of mood.

‘no. Not for me anyway. Calum got a girlfriend though. You should text the boys, they haven’t heard from you for a while, they miss you’ He said changing the subject.

‘right, sure’ she said rolling her eyes when he wasn’t looking.

‘they do’

‘communications a two way thing Luke, why should I make the effort when they don’t?’ she huffed

‘it was just a thought, I thought it would be nice’

‘it’s whatever, let’s find a hotel.’ She suggested walking slightly ahead.

They ended up checking into a small hotel, booking one room with two beds.

Dumping their stuff in the room y/n suggested going out to one of the clubs that the man behind the bar recommended.

Luke didn’t really want to but he would follow her anywhere. He wanted to see what she did when she went away.What she had been up to the past few years she kept leaving.


‘Come on Luke, she’s pretty, bring her back to the hotel room. I’ll book another for me and…’

‘Isaac’ he finished off for her.

‘yeah Isaac’ she laughed as if it was the funniest thing. 

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea y/n, why don’t we just go back, you and me, it’s mean’t to be our get away.’ Luke said slightly hurt that he was being ditched so she could spend a night with a random guy.

‘come on Luke, live a little okay, bring her back’ she laughed ‘it’s fun okay, have fun!’ 


‘morning!’ she said chirpy as if she had not excessively drank last night. ‘did you have fun last night?’ she asked jumping on the bed and landing half on top of him.

He shoved her away from him not wanting to see her.

‘Luke?’ she asked quietly, crawling closer to him. ‘what’s wrong?’

‘go away.’ 

‘I don’t understand Luke, what have I done? did you not bring her back? is that why you’re mad?’

He threw the covers off and stormed to the shower.

‘Luke?’ she asked again, confused.

She waited for him to get out of the shower before asking again.

‘what’s wrong?’

‘you- you made me do it’ he whispered glaring at her.

‘made you do what Luke?’ she asked softly.

‘you made me sleep with her, it’s all your fault’ he spat harshly.

‘what do you mean I made you? I don’t understand’

‘you- you peer pressured me and now I’ve lost my virginity to some random stranger because of you’ he said, voice raising.

‘that’s not my fault…’ she said confused still.

‘yes it is.’

‘I didn’t make you do anything, I didn’t make you sleep with her, you can’t blame me’ she said, voice matching his.

‘well I do. I’m going home’ he said defiantly, starting to pack what little things were out back into his bags. 

‘wait.. what the fuck Luke’ she said distressed. ‘what the fuck? it’s been one day and you’re leaving because you lost your virginity and blame me, who even does that?’ she said angrily.

‘I hate it here’ he shouted.

‘fine whatever, you’re no fun at all.’ she spat knowing it would hurt him right back.

‘well at least i’m not lonely, I like my life and you’re not going to change that thinking that stringing me along to travel with you will, because it won’t. I didn’t want to come in the first place’

‘wow okay, well why the fuck did you even come in then?’ she shouted, holding back the tears. She could easily mask them by setting her face to stone.

He was making his way to the door now. 

‘you lost your virginity so what? it doesn’t mean anything! you’re 18 for fuck sake, that’s what all teenagers do’ she shouted after him.

‘you don’t understand. You’re mean’t to lose your virginity to someone you care about, not a stranger, do you know how disgusting that makes me feel?’ he spat.

‘i’m sorry’ she panicked as he reached the door. ‘i’m sorry’ she didn’t want to be lonely. He stopped at the door waiting for her to go on. ‘maybe you should stay awhile?’ she whispered

“Why?” he asked waiting for her next sentence.

 "So we don’t leave on bad terms…please’


Luke ended up staying. Sure the first few nights didn’t go to plan but they had fun. They went to all the main tourist attractions and several clubs and parties, not going back to the hotel with anyone but themselves.

It was their last night in London. They had yet to see the London eye so decided to go at night time so it was darker and the city would be lit with lights from skyscrapers around them. 

‘I can’t believe how fast two weeks goes’ she said as they were at the top of the London eye.

‘I know. I had fun, I know the first few days were a bit odd but i’m glad I stayed’ 

‘i’m glad you stayed to’ she said smiling up at him as he smiled back down. 

‘it’s really a beautiful city’ she sighed sadly. She didn’t want to leave.

‘yeah’ he agreed ‘it look’s beautiful from up here’ he said looking out into the dark where building were lit up and illuminating silhouettes against the night sky.

‘really beautiful’ she said glancing at him sideways to watch him stare out into the night in awe. 

she pressed her face against the cool glass feeling a little upset that this was her last night in this city and with Luke. 

She knew Luke would never go somewhere with her again.She had fucked it up in the first few days she knew it. But she could enjoy this moment with her best friend by her side in her new favourite place that now held memories that she will treasure.

‘how long are you going to be back for when we get home?’ he asked her curiously, not taking his eyes off the city’ 

‘I don’t know, let’s not talk about it, let’s just enjoy the moment.’ she said.

‘make the most of it’ Luke whispered. 


‘make the most of it’ he said looking straight into her eyes. 

‘what do you mean?’ she asked confused as he leaned in closer. ‘what are you doing?’ she whispered as his face was directly in front of hers.

‘i-i’m going to kiss you’ he whispered, his breath hitting her face. ‘is that- is that okay?’ he asked softly.

‘yes’ she nodded, looking out at the city before looking back to Luke, blushing slightly.

He leaned down; his lips brushing hers gently as his hand came up to hold her neck, pulling her closer into a more forceful kiss.

Pulling away it was a little awkward before she broke the silence. 

‘that was nice’ she said chuckling awkwardly. It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes before Luke started laughing, she joined in until they were both laughing loudly.

Their laughter died down and they both looked at each other before both leaning in again, pressing their lips together. 

Once they got off the London eye, they weren’t sure what to do.

‘let’s go back to the hotel room’ she suggested holding her hand out and smiling shyly. 

Once they were back in the hotel they changed into their pjs, brushing their teeth and crawling into bed.

Neither of them fell asleep. They were both laying in their beds looking up at the celling. 



‘come over here’ she whispered, lifting the corner of her covers.

He jumped out of his bed before crawling over to where she was and laying down next to her. Her feet were cold against his legs as she pressed herself against him as close as possible.

‘I don’t want to go back’ she mumbled sleepily. ‘don’t make me go back’ 

He didn’t know how to reply but she had fallen asleep before he could say anything.


‘are we just going to ignore what happened in London?’ Luke asked as they got off the plane and were back in Australia. 

‘we’re friends Luke’ she said simply ‘we’re just friends okay?’

‘right, yes of course’ he said smiling at her and awkwardly laughing.

‘LUCAS’ a boyo screamed before Luke was on the floor, a pile of boys soon following on top.

‘guys, I can’t breathe’ he laughed.

‘Lukey we missed you so much, never leave me again’ Michael said dramatically.

‘Luke dear’ Liz Hemmings said hugging her taller son. ‘glad your’e back honey, did you have a good time?’

‘yeah, it was really great, I couldn’t stay there forever though, it’s not my kind of scene.’

‘do you need a lift home y/n?’ Liz asked politely.

‘oh, no thank you Liz, i’m being picked up’ she replied. 

‘thanks for a lovely few weeks’ Luke said hugging her tightly, i’ll see you in a few days or something’ he smiled happily before walking off with everyone else, the guys ruffling his hair as they walked and playfully nudging each other.

She turned to go outside and wait for a taxi knowing that no one would show for her. Nobody missed her like Luke family and friends. She had no one. What was the point of even coming back anymore.

She got a taxi home, paying the driver before finding the key to her house. 

‘hello?’ she called out. She got no response, of course. 

She dragged herself around the house for a few hours before the shutting of a door echoed through the house. She made her way down the stairs, the sound of her bare feet hitting the marble stairway silencing the conversation of her parents. 

‘oh, you’re home’ her mother said.

Her father glared at her angrily before storming into the kitchen.

‘where did you go?’ her mother asked, acting interested. 

‘London, I went with Luke for two weeks, it was good’ she replied plainly.

‘good, how is he? are you two still just friends?’ she asked, a hint of a smile.

‘yes. We’re friends’ she said blunty. 

‘look, I promise, one day i’ll make it up to you’ her mother sighed before following her husband into the kitchen.

The next day she packed her bags up and booked a one way ticket to New York. She heard dreams are made there, maybe she could find hers.


She had been in New York for a few days when she received a phone call.

‘Mum?’ she answered confused 

‘where are you?’ she asked sadly.

‘New York, what’s wrong? is it something to do with dad?’ she asked slightly worried.

‘no… I just’ she sighed. ‘I came home early from work, I brought pizza, your favourite with extra pineapple.’ she sighed.


‘i’m sorry’ her mother said

‘look I have to go now’ y/n said hanging up. No way would she let her mother fix her neglective manner that easily.


It was a few hours later when she received another phone call.

 "Hey you wanna hang out today, I’ll pick you up and we can see a movie"

 "Hey Luke, I’m kinda in New York so I can’t really hang out today…“ 

 "What do you mean you’re kinda in New York, you either are or aren’t" 

 "Okay well yeah I’m in New York" 

 "What the hell! We only got back a few days ago”

 "I got bored" 

 "You didn’t even tell me" 

 "You were busy" 

 "I can’t believe you, why couldn’t you just stay home for at least a week" 

 "Luke there’s nothing there for me, it’s not my home anymore"

 "What do you mean?“

 "A home is somewhere where you belong and feel happy, I’m still trying to find that”

 "Please, just come back to Australia"

 "I’ll be back in a few months"

 "A few months? A few fucking months… Wow okay guess I’ll see you in a few months then" he spoke hanging up.


 —— —————————————-

 As soon as she landed back in Australia she called Luke.


 "Hey Luke, I’m back home" 



 "Sorry I just didn’t expect you to call, I forgot you were coming home today” he said, it sounded as if he was sitting up in bed.

 "Don’t worry about it, you wanna do something? I’m so bored already" 

“Shit, I’m kinda busy right now, how about tomorrow?”

 "Oh okay… Uh tomorrow? Um… My flight leaves tomorrow morning" She said 

“Wait what? You just got back? Where the fuck are you going?” he demanded angrily.

 "Look it doesn’t matter. I’ll see you when I get back.“

 "How long are you going for this time?” he asked sounding tired.

 "I-I don’t know"

 "Come round right now, at least let me say goodbye" he sighed.

 "Okay, I’ll- ill come round" 

 "I’ll see you in a bit then okay?“


She took a box out from under her bed to Lukes with her, maybe he might finally understand. She knocked on his door and waited until Liz answered. Luke came downstairs a girl following behind him.

 "Y/n hey.”

 "Hey…“ Liz and the girl go to the kitchen to give them a few minutes. 

 "I- um these are for you, don’t open them until tomorrow or open them when you’re alone…” He took the box off her and puts it on the stairs. 

 "You don’t have to go you know….maybe you should stay awhile’

 "Why? Why should I stay?“ she asked just like he had that night in London. He might have a reason for her.

 "You grew up here, this will always be your home whether you want it to be or not, your parents are here, your friends…" 

 "I can’t, I don’t belong here anymore, there’s nothing for me here." 

 "Your family, your friends, and I’m here… Isn’t that enough?” He asked tiredly.

 She didn’t reply.

 "Just go" he said 


 "Just go” he said louder. She looked at him for a few seconds before leaving to walk down the steps of Lukes drive way.

 Luke did what she said. He waited until the next day to see what was in the box. 

 He was confused once he lifted the cardboard lid. It was full of what seemed like at least 20 envelopes, Each one with the name of a city from the world on the front. He picked up one that said Rome, opening it and taking out what was inside it. 

 It was a post card, a picture of a famous landmark from that city on the front. He turned it over to see y/n’s handwriting scrawled all over it. 


 Rome is amazing, it’s so pretty and has so much culture. The people here are so welcoming and lovely, a woman showed me around telling me the best places to visit and the nicest places to eat. The food is also amazing, you would love it, especially Michael because it’s all pizza, pasta and Ice cream. I love it so much here, I wish you were with me so I could share this experience with you, I can see myself coming back here soon, hopefully being you with me because you would be in awe just like I am. Anyway these postcards don’t have much room to write on so I’ll speak to you when we get home. - y/n.

 He remembered when she went to Rome and how much she loved it, he never knew she wanted to go back with him to share the experience. He looked through the postcards looking to see if she wrote one when they were both in London together. LA, Boston, Chicago, Dubai, Hong Cong, London. He picked up the envelope with London on the front.


 London is my favourite place so far. I’ve had the best time with you by my side. I’m so glad that you came with me. The first few days didn’t go to plan and I’m really sorry that you felt I pressured you into it. I never meant for that to happen and I’m so sorry, I feel awful. But I’m so glad you stayed. It would have broken my heart and I don’t think I would have been able to go to London again. Thank you for an amazing time, the London eye was my favourite, I’ve never felt so loved in my life. I’d like to think that if I asked, you’d come to London with me again, but I don’t know if you liked it or not, a lot of things happened and I know you regret them. Thank you for coming with me, it can get lonely sometimes. Y/n 

 He picked up New York knowing she went there straight after London.

 Luke, It’s not the same without you. I saw how many people missed you and how you were welcomed back when we landed in Australia. It made me think that Australia isn’t where I belong and I’m not coming back. No ones ever given me a reason to stay. I guess i should stop running from my problems and face them, but I can’t, that’s not the type of person I am. Thank you for being such a good friend and putting up with me constantly leaving. I love you. 


 He wished he knew where’s she was going. He looked at every city name on the envelopes praying for some kind of clue. She had never been to the same place twice. So why was there another envelope with London written on it. He opened the envelope but there was nothing inside. She was going back to London.

 She knew he’d find it, he’d find her.