the parties were bigger

anonymous asked:

For Tyler's actual birthday he was sick and Hannah and Korey brought him food and stuff but yeah he had a different roller skating birthday party with a lot of people while Troye and Connor where in Australia

Aww I remember that. But I’m pretty sure right after he got better, he went out with friends. There was a bigger party when they were australia. But on april 5th there was something else (according to the anon with info from will and arden and according to one of his videos)

I wonder what words in what order in what sentence could save a life. I had a classmate take his own life last summer. I had known him since the fourth grade. We were in our senior year of college when he died. I know he left a note to his family. I’m not sure what he wrote, and it’s none of my business…I just can’t help but wonder…what if someone had’ve written him a note first. Maybe if someone, hell, maybe if I were the one to send a note…just saying that I was thinking about him and that I hope everything is okay….maybe he would have reconsidered? I had a cousin that was three years younger than me. He was a delinquent. He was always in and out of jail. My last memory of us together was at a family member’s birthday party and we were wrestling each other in the pool. I was bigger than me, but I could hold my breath longer. I let him wrap himself around me, and I swam to the bottom of the pool and stayed there until he couldn’t breathe and released his grip so he could swim to the surface and relieve his lungs…the following summer, he flipped his truck and passed away. Parts of me think he was being reckless on purpose…I’ve never told anyone that…he’s always done stupid shit…I think my family believes he was just being careless…and that it was an accident….but I know he had was feeling so much pain because he sent me a damn Myspace message and said he was hurting and that he thought his girlfriend was going to leave him, and I became annoyed because he was such an attention-seeker and I despised it so instead of giving him advice, I told him to stop sending all of my peers friend requests. I don’t blame myself for his death…but I do wonder if I could have prevented it. He left behind a son. He didn’t even know his girlfriend was pregnant. His kid lives with my aunt and I play with him sometimes. I want nothing more than to let this kid know how loved he is. It shatters my heart into a thousand pieces knowing that he won’t ever know his father, even if his father wasn’t the best of men. I’ve had students that come from broken homes. Were there words that would have gotten them to stay? What is the combination? What can I say? WHAT CAN I SAY? I don’t even know if I’m making a point anymore, I’m just so mad and heartbroken that someone can become so heartbroken and sad that they take their own lives, or they leave children who need them, or they stay and destroy. I’m so bitter. It hurts writing this. It hurts writing this. It hurts writing this…but I still don’t think I’m hurting as much as my classmate did because all I want to do is stay and make things better. I don’t want anyone feeling alone tonight. Can we please swim towards the surface? Can we come up for air? I know it’s getting hard to breathe….please…just come up for air….and while you’re swimming…I’ll try and think of the right words that will make you stay a little longer.
—  BDC