the pants fit so well

  • Matthew: i like your pants
  • Stephanie: thanks, they were 50% off
  • Matthew: i'd like them 100% off
  • Stephanie: the store can't just sell free stuff, Matthew
  • Matthew: no, that's not what i —
  • Stephanie: that's a terrible way to run a business

Original picture by @Iamm​arissakaye

He was warm under the covers next to you. His hair disheveled, his face relaxed, his eyelashes laying against his cheeks. He still took your breath away, even after all this time.

You let your hand travel across his chest, tracing his tattoos with the tip of your finger. A sigh escaped his strawberry lips, leaving his mouth a bit open. With a smirk you leaned up, your left hand firmly planted on his chest. Softly you pressed your lips to his.

“Morning, baby.”, you muttered against his mouth.

A lazy smile. A hum.

He was still mostly asleep, you could tell. And usually, on his days off, you let him sleep in, because he needed his rest. But you hadn’t seen him in a few days and last night he had been too tired for anything other than crushing you against his chest as he had fallen asleep. So now you were impatient for some more affection.

You made your way down his jawline with the lightest of kisses. From his prickly, stubbled chin to the edge of his jaw and up to the beginning of his hairline, the across his forehead and back down on the right side of his face.


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When Meredith Quill was twenty, she fell in love.

“Fear not, my darling,” her angel said before he left, all aglow with heavenly light. “I shall return for you. Never doubt that.”

After he was gone, it was weeks before she stopped seeing sunbursts in the corners of her eyes, weeks before she could look at the night sky without tearing up. But weeks turned into months, and he didn’t come back, and her belly got bigger, and Meredith did her best to get on with her life.

When Meredith Quill was twenty-one, she got abducted by aliens.

“Look, little lady,” said the blue one, who seemed to be in charge, “if you’re gonna spent this trip abusin’ my crew this ain’t gonna be a fun ride for anyone, least of all you.”

“Then your crew better not get fresh again,” Meredith said, glaring, arms crossed protectively over her belly.

“He was installin’ your translator!” the blue one said, and the gnarly-faced fella curled up on the floor moaned affirmatively.

“Well, fine,” said Meredith. “But you could warn a person. I had a bag packed!” She’d packed it first, optimistically, in the days after her angel left, and repacked as the months passed until it was mostly the things she’d need at the hospital. Still, it was the principle of the thing.

Big Blue only rolled his eyes. “We got plenty of supplies on board. Better ‘n anything on that ball of dirt you call a planet.”

“Y’all got maternity clothes?” Meredith asked. “I’m eight months along, regular pants don’t fit so well these days. Not to mention my vitamins, or any baby things at all–”

“Wait,” said Blue. “How long do Terran pregnancies last?”

“‘Bout nine months,” said Meredith, and when he still looked blank, added “Another thirty days, give or take.”

“Damn it all to hell,” said Blue, and then hollered “Kraglin! Go prep a fighter, we gotta fetch the little lady’s luggage!”

“It’s all in the blue duffel in the hall closet,” Meredith told him. “Oh, and bring the milk crate full of records by the couch, while you’re at it. And the turntable.”


well, the day is finally here when my jim hawkins is ready to be worn. i seldom have the time or brain to try everything on before the actual con morning, but now i did so, though i left the tail from the neck and the earring off for now. ready for tomorrow~

BTS Reactions - Another girl flirts with them

Your jaw clenches as you watch the girl behind the checkout flirt with your boyfriend. You’ve come to do your weekly food shop, and as she’s scanning the items through she’s chatting away to your boyfriend, telling him how amazing his hair is, and how his pants fit him so well and how he looks like a movie star. He looks incredibly uncomfortable, and you’ve just about had enough. As your boyfriend gets out his wallet to pay, you turn to the girl and look her dead in the eyes as you say very bluntly,

“Can’t you control your ‘hoemones’?”

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ᴜɴᴄʜᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ 4 ꜱᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴀʟ [6/∞]
↳ with @blufeniix

You can take the uigi out of Luigi, but you can’t make him any less of a dork.

Someone might be showing off his dance moves in the next queue ;)))

My Favorite Superhero (½)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Prompt: In which surprise Bucky by dressing up as your favorite superhero for Halloween, which is himself.

A/N: Part two is comming soon. Tag list is open, all you gotta do is ask. Also, the art is not mine. If you know the author send me the link so I can link their work here.

Part 2

You went down the elevator straight to find Tony. “I need your help” You stated as soon as you found him.

“Shoot” he said looking up from where he was fixing Bucky’s arm.

“Yeah. About that… Buck, would you do me the favour of bringing me the USB I left on the coffee table?” You asked with a smile. He rolled his eyes but nodded and left the lab.

“You do know I could just ask Friday to get the info in it instead?” he stated.

“I need him out” You said and he gave you a puzzled look. Bucky was the person that you trusted the most on the tower and it was weird for you not wanting him to know something.

“I’m intrigued now. Speak”

“So I’ve been working on my Halloween costume” you said and he gave you the look you would have expected from someone who knows nothing of costume making “I know… but I’m working on a metallic arm prototype”

“For Barnes” he completed.

“For me.” You corrected.

“You made his new arm. Even if you need one. Which I don’t see how you would. As both of your flesh arms are active and perfect. You could make it yourself. You have a masters degree on robotics for fucks sake why would you need my help?”

“Because I’m trying to make an armour. One that fits my arm and looks as identical at his as possible. But I’m having a little trouble with it and thought you might be of good help. As you made the iron-man suit and stuff”

“Because you want to be Barnes for Halloween” he finished correctly this time “Sure, you have a basic model?”

“I’ve already sent it to your mail” you said with a smile.

He nodded and turned back to his desk. “I’ll see what I can do” you smiled and went to the entrance when you collided with Bucky.

“I couldn’t find any…” he started but was interrupted by you.

“Yeah. Turned out to be on my pocket but I’ve taken care of it now. Wanna go for some icecream?” I asked “I have some on my mini fridge”

“But what about my revision?” He asked.

“Can I hijack Bucky now Tony? Or do you still need him?”

“Oh, take him if you want. I have what I need anyways” he stated and you pulled Buck to the elevator.

“So why did you come here?” He asked as the lift moved towards your flor.

“I needed some help with a robotics problem. Plus I needed to find someone to eat ice cream and I was sure there would be someone there that I could take with me afterwards”

Once you arrived you went to your mini fridge and opened it revealing a bunch of different flavoured ice-creams. “Are you kidding me?” He asked from close behind when he saw all the boxes and little cones and stuff.

“I sometimes get cravings on late binge watching nights” you said as you grabbed a small container of (Y/F/I/F) ice-cream and motioned him to grab one.

He grabbed a blueberry ice-cream and followed you to the couch.

“Why do you have your own floor and a better TV system that me and Steve who share a floor?” He asked when he saw you turning on the gigantic TV that had been hidden on the wall.

“Well. First off I’m part of the science Bros, I’m like Tony’s little sister and I’m amazing at my job”

“Or maybe you manipulated Tony’s mind into it”

You played offended “How dare you to accuse me of something like that. I’ve never manipulated the mind of someone in the team, besides yours when you were about to kill me back on Berlin after Zemo forced you onto attacking everyone, but that one doesn’t count”.

“Lets not go back there” he stated as he opened his ice-cream “Anyway… What are we watching?”

“The nightmare before Christmas, its a Halloween classic and you have to whatch it before the party” You stated as you looked through the list of movies on Netflix.

“Talking about the party. What will you dress as?” He asked.

“Oh… I’ll be my favourite superhero” you said giving him a smile and shoving a spoon of icecream to your mouth.

“Oh. Hell. NO. I’ve already asked Steve to borrow me his suit” he said to which you laughed.

“Captain America is not my favourite superhero” you stated “I mean, I like him and his amazing but not my kind of superhero”

“Will you be Nat then?” He asked afterwards.

“I said superhero not the most badass woman on earth. Anyway, shut up I found the movie”

We started watching the movie and as the intro song started he turned to you.

“Will you really make me watch a musical?” He asked.

“Shush and watch!” You stated as you mumbled the lyrics of the song you knew a little to well. But he noticed.

“Are you serious?”

“Pay attention is a piece of art.” You said and he finally seemed to do as you said.

“The toons look off” he said about half way trough the movie.

“It’s because they’re not drawn. It’s stop-motion” you said.

He shoot you a look.

“It means they’re this little like dough dolls that they move and take a picture and repeat that until they get a scene”

“What? That must have been a tuff job”

“It’s why it’s so epic”

“Anyway. Is it Clint? Will you be hawkeye?” He asked.

“James” you complained “Watch the movie”


“No, it’s not Barton, now shut up and enjoy”

By then Jack had entered the Christmas land and you were singing along that song as well.

But you were interrupted by Steve calling your name from the elevator.

“Now what?” You asked rather done. You were about to pause the movie but you knew Buck would probably follow you and never finish it. “You stay here and watch the movie. I’ll see what your boyfriend wants”

“We’re not dating” he said as you walked towards Steve.

“What’s up Stevie?” You asked when he entered your floor.

“Is Bucky here?” He asked.

“Yeah, he’s been kidnapped by me and he’s watching the nightmare before Christmas, and there is absolutely no way you interrupt him before it ends”

“Uhh, I see. Did you ever say that to anyone when you forced me to the marathon of the most important movies of the last years?”

“There’s a chance. Anyway, why’d you want him?”

“He wanted to try my suit on for tomorrow’s party”

“I’d totally fit. And if not I’ll adjust it” you said as you extended your arms to receive it. He rolled his eyes and handed it to you. You sent him a smile and waved him as he left.

“What did he want?” Asked Buck as you got back to the living room.

“He brought his suit for you to try on”

“Then I hav…”

“Nope. You’ll finish the movie and we’ll see if it needs adjusting later”

He rolled his eyes but ended up finishing the movie.

“Did you like it?” You asked as soon as the credits showed up.

“It was quite epic” he stated and stood up, “That Jack fella is really nice”

“I know, anyway, let’s go to my sewing studio to adjust that. Put it on and meet me there”

“You have a sewing studio?” He asked then.

“Well I didn’t buy my supersuit on eBay” you said as if it made sense “Spider-man did his first suit too, and DeadPool. We didn’t just get it handed in by Mr. Stark or the government like most of you”

He rolled his eyes “Imma go put this on”

“I’ll be waiting. It’s the door in front of my studio”

Once he headed to the bathroom you ran to your sewing studio and grabbed your copy of the winter soldier’s clothes on a bag that you later on threw in a little ‘Costume closet’ as you called it.

He arrived after a while with Cap’s suit on and he couldn’t look cutter.

“So after all you ARE thinner than Steve. Nat owes me 50”

“Did you really bet on that?”

You shugged as you motioned him to get closer.

You stated pinning the suit so it would fit him better.

“Will you sew this?” He asks rather worried.

“I’ll make it easy to turn back to normal” you said and kept pinning.

“How?” He asked.

“Stop making so much questions or I will end up pinning your flesh along with the fabric” you stated and proceeded to Pin.

When you were done you looked at how it would look and nodded to yourself.

“The pants seem to fit you well so I’ll be only adjusting the top, so if you don’t mind… take it off” you said extending your hands to grab it.

He rolled his eyes at your typical attitude and unzipped the top to hand it to you, once he had, you forced yourself to continue your job before staring at his perfect torso for too long.

“Wait” he said as you were about to start sewing “Wasn’t Steve’s suit super strong not even knives could go through it?”

You chuckled a bit and started your job, “And you think mine isn’t? Of course I have a special needle you smartass”

“No need to get all angry doll” he said before looking around. “What’s this?” He asked when he saw the giant wardoarobe.

“It won’t take you to Narnia that’s for sure” you stated.

“What?” He asked confused.

“Sorry, movie reference” you said “I have to get you to watch Narnia” you mumbled to yourself, then you turned your volume up again “I call it a costume closet, I’m quite a geek and I have a bunch of random shit I’ve done through the years in there” You said entirely forgetting about the bag with your copy of his suit.

Part 2

“Heaven’s On Fire”

Notes: SMUT. Some bondage, cursing

You could feel the bitterness in your bones as you strut across the length of the compound, your feet nearly stomping with every step as if you were throwing a tantrum. In all honesty you were sure it looked that way, your brow furrowed - steam practically coming out of your ears as you took deep breaths to keep yourself steady. Anger had flooded every part of you, even more so since you had just gotten back from the mission from hell. You knew that it was a risk, getting involved with someone on the team - and going out there, emotions were without a doubt going to get in the way. Today was a prime example. For nearly three months now you had kept your relationship with Bucky Barnes in the shadows. Most of the reasoning was because the both of you weren’t even sure what this was yet, but you knew there was something special there. Not to mention, niether of you wanted to hear any slack from the rest of the team - so you kept yourselves hidden. The late nights, the skillfully planned dates when you’d both sneak out unnoticed - it all led to this moment, the moment you knew was going to come. You were just as experienced as the rest of the team, you had your specific skillset and you were more than capable with taking care of yourself - it was even spoken in exsistence you were the same match as Natasha or Sharon. You were trusted, valuable, and you weren’t one to back away from a fight. Yet even with it being known you could take care of yourself, today Bucky had crossed the line. The line the two of you had agreed on, work and play were never to cross paths - especially when it came to the two of you trying to do your job. Save the world, then have time to yourselves. That’s what you do. But today he crossed it, he had doubted your ability - in front of the whole team. So you were stomping away, that was the clear choice. It made your blood boil overall, he knew what you were capable of - he knew more than anyone. Yet he still questioned you in the field, and that to you was practically unforgivable.

“Doll, please-“ Bucky’s voice exhausted behind you, his steps just as quick to try and keep up with you.

“Leave me alone, Bucky.” You mumbled, shoving your door open - and of course he followed.

“No-“ He sighed, shutting your door as he entered your room.

“Just leave.” You nearly spat, “I don’t even want to look at you right now-“

“Are you really pissed at me?” Bucky questioned, “I was worried about you. Isnt that what I’m supposed to-”

“You’re supposed to believe that I can take care of myself-“ You turned to face him, feeling the heat rise in your body, “Im not some princess waiting to be saved.“

“I never said you were-“ Bucky raised his voice, “Jesus you can’t let anyone in can you?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You scoffed in distain, he couldn’t be serious.

“It means you’re so goddamn scared to let go-“ He nearly shouted, “You won’t let anyone in long enough to show they care.“

“That’s bullshit.” You swallowed, moving to your dresser you nearly ripped one of the drawers open.

“No. This is bullshit.” Bucky gruffed, “All of this. It’s bullshit.”

“All of what?” You turned in question, seeing that he had already started to sweat from the argument.

“You and me.” He pointed, “I’m done fucking around with you. Call me when you grow up.“

“Excuse me?” Your mouth dropped, “Who the hell do you think you are, telling me I need to grow up? Do you hear yourself?”

“I think you heard me loud and clear.” Bucky unzipped his infamous jacket, starting to walk out of your room - you could tell that his blood must’ve been boiling just like you’re own.

“No way-“ You hissed, “You don’t get to walk away after what you did-“

“Oh, now you get to determine what I can and can’t do, sweetheart?” Bucky ripped away the glove across the plated metal - tossing it without a care to the floor.

“You are such an asshole, James Barnes.” You spat, “Go on. Walk away. See if I care.”

Your words caught his attention, his feet came to a halt - his body nearly froze. You wondered if you had pressed a button you shouldn’t have. You watched his frame turned, the sight before you was something you weren’t expecting. His bright blue eyes looked to you, full of hurt - his lips parted in disbelief. You almost felt guilty in that moment, seeing the expression on his face reminded you of a kicked dog. It struck a chord in you, catching your breath - he looked better than ever. You didn’t have the time to truly appreciate it, but now you did - his full uniform had a way of causing your heart to race. The fitted pants, the black jacket - it all paired so well together. But most of all you had admired the arm, despite what he thought.

“Im-“ You were almost breathless, “I’m still mad at you.“

“Good.” It was all he said, ripping away his belt he walked to you with a sense of dominance - and before you could speak another word his hands had shoved you to the nearest wall.

You caught your breath as his lips met you, harsh and full of hunger. You couldnt help the moan that released as his hands shoved your own above your head, a grip hard enough there was no room to wiggle free. You felt the belt in his hands, pulling away only for a moment - your eyes adverted up to see him wrap the leather around your wrists. Biting your lip, you felt his teeth dig in just beneath your ear. Swallowing hard you tried to regulate your breathing, but it was nearly impossible when his legs shoved your own apart. A light whimper released your lips as he tightened the belt, his lips meeting to your ear - you practically shivered at the feeling of his hot breath. Your eyes fluttered closed, his hips shoving upwards - the both of you still fully clothed, you felt him grind his core against your own.

“Bucky-“ You released a breath, his rythm made your temperature rise.

“Quiet.” He groaned, his hands at your wrists - he guided them to wrap around his neck.

You did as he said, keeping your mouth shut as he lifted you in the air - walking the two of you into the nearest room. You took in the surroundings, now realizing that he had taken you into one of Tony’s office rooms. You expected him to get on with it, but you heard his hands as he fumbled you to the desk. Pieces of glass and decor crashed to the ground, Bucky’s hands practically shoved you to the surface - placing your stomach on the desk, your features on the cool desk.

“If you say a word-“ He teased, “I’m stopping.”

You nodded in response, hearing the sound of his zipper your heart was nearly about to burst. Your hands were still above your head, still in the leather of his belt - but in honesty you didnt mind. Not one bit. You gasped suddenly, feeling his hands caress the material covering your backside - within the seconds of the soft touch you felt the material being ripped practically in half.

“Say you want it.” Bucky breathed behind you, “Say it.”

You jutted yourself back into him, feeling that he had discarded his own clothing - you wanted it more than you could fathom at this moment.

“Bucky-“ You sighed, your hands starting to ball in fists.

“Say it, doll.” He leaned down, pulling away your shirt - his soft kiss pressing along your shoulder, “Say it for me"

“I want you.” It nearly blurted out, you sounded more needy than you wanted to - but you felt the smile on his lips, he enjoyed it.

“Good girl.” Bucky whispered on your skin, pressing one last kiss before his lips left you.

The grip from his hands was hard, holding you in place as he positioned himself behind you. You took a deep breath, your legs tingling with every sensation he gave you. You heard a low groan as he filled you entirely, staying only for a moment to let you adjust. Hands shooting forward you gripped to the desk, feeling one sharp thrust without a warning. Unable to hold back you sounded out, your eyes screwing shut - his grip kept you still as he gave it to you hard and fast, making you practically lose it. His name slipped from your lips, and you had no control of it.

“Bu-“ You choked out, feeling him stop you nearly whined - unable to move, he wasn’t kidding around.

“What was that?” Bucky’s hands kept, and you could almost hear the smile on his lips.

“Please-“ You choked out, your hands gripping the desk - you weren’t expecting him to move, but he sure as hell did.

He removed himself completely, rising you gently from the desk with his touch. He turned you to face him, his blue eyes a shade darker than you remember - a small smile on his lips. You felt the low hum when he kissed you, his lips as sweet as always the kiss was more gentle than you were expecting. You couldnt help but smile, this wasn’t how expected the arugment to end - but you sure as hell glad it did. Fingers carding through the long strands of hair, Bucky’s hands had placed you a second time to the desk - pulling apart your legs as he lined once again. You gripped hard, your hands trembling to his shoulders to keep yourself steady - he was relentless. You felt yourself start to shake, your legs latching around the small of his back as you felt your finish overtake your whole body. You heard the familiar sound of metal, his grip rushing to the edge of the desk - breaking apart the wood,you heard the snap echo the room. Bucky stilled entirely, keeeping his hips until the very last thrust.

“Fuck-“ Bucky choked out, his lips trembled to your shoulder.

“Well this is unexpected-“

Your body froze, your eyes shooting wide open - you looked to the door, seeing Tony and Natasha at the threshold. You gasped out, fumbling to make sure you were somewhat decent. Natasha’s held tilted with a smirk, Tony’s eyes blinked in confusion

Humans Are Weird

Okay, so I thought of this literally the moment I posted the last one but I figured it was too close together to really gain any traction. However, it’s been long enough now I think, so here goes:

What about humans and clothing? yegc72qbuhfo8ybcrdcshda!!! Like we wear these fabrics and materials over our already soft bodies and they provide little to no protection or use other than to maybe keep us warm and make us stand out. Like can you imagine aliens finding out about runway models? Like picture it, alien cultures that have only ever had their own skin or carapace or whatever as protection or whose only “clothes” is like protective armor or spacesuits. Can you imagine aliens finding out about designer brands? Or the “worn” look? Can you imagine aliens finding out that among all the other weird things humans already do, we also starve ourselves at times just to fit into a certain pair of pants?

     Xetahal wandered into the compartment and stopped. Human Jan was standing behind a hanging sheet and wiggling.

“Human Jan, are you in distress?” Xetahal asked. She stopped wiggling momentarily to glance at him before returning to her odd jumping motion.

“Oh! No thanks ‘Hal. I’m just trying to get into these jeans, “ she replied, jumping a little more vigorously he noted.

“Ah yes, your hindquarters attempt at added protection,” Xetahal stated. He watched her with curiosity as her jumping and wiggling slowly turned into a slow side to side shuffle.

     Finally, Human Jan stopped moving altogether and looked down. A moment later she muttered,

“I’m gonna have to lay off the dairy products. No more ice cream for you, you fat belly.” Xetahal moved his legs in an attempt to regain his composure.

“Human Jan, who are you with back there?” he asked. She looked up and walked out,

“Oh no one. I was just talking to my stomach.” Xetahal strained to not stare at the mess of fabric ensnaring Human Jan’s legs and instead decided to focus on the new information that human’s gullets could speak.

“I was not aware your organs could communicate. Humans then, are much like the Dwap of Cerga 9, yes?” he inquired. Human Jan stopped to look at her reflection. She chuckled,

“Human stomachs don’t actually talk ‘Hal. It’s just something we do occasionally.” Xetahal raised his beak in acceptance of the statement and replied,

“Allow me to then cause damage to the dihydrogen and oxygen bonded solid by asking what happened to your pants?” Human Jan stifled a laugh even though Xetahal believed he had said the human idiom correctly.

“They’re designer ‘Hal. They’re made by Gucci, it’s a very popular brand of clothing on Earth,” she explained, brushing a loose strand of fabric off of her leg. Xetahal nodded and continued,

“And what did your digestive system have to do with this brand of cloth?” Human Jan blushed a little and looked a little ashamed.

     After a moment, she slowly lifted up her top to show her underbelly.

“Look at it,” she said in mild disgust. Xetahal studied her soft skin but noted no visible wounds.

“You are not injured Human Jan,” he said assuredly.

“Not that!” she cried. She grabbed her stomach and pinched, allowing the soft skin to roll between her hands. “I’ve gained weight while on ship! I can barely fit into my jeans!” Xetahal noticed this caused her distress and remembered that her favorite remedy, although strange, was chocolate ice cream from the galley.

“Would you like me to go fetch you some chocolate ice cream Human Jan?” he asked. She turned back toward the mirror,

“No, I can’t eat it anymore.” Xetahal shuffled slightly in agitation. This was news to him.

“Have you become allergic to the substance then?” he asked. She shook her head and replied,

“I can’t eat it because I can’t fit into these pants very well. So that means no more ice cream until I can wear these without wiggling into them.” Xetahal tilted his head in confusion.

“And what exactly is the point of all of this Human Jan?” She turned around and struck an odd pose,

“To look fabulous!” Xetahal let out a quack of exasperation; humans were already so strange, what more could possibly set them apart?

     Human Jan wandered back behind her sheet and bent down to pick something up. When she came back out, she was flipping through pages of a magazine, a colorful book she had found at the last space port. She stopped flipping and folded back the page. She turned it so Xetahal could see,

“See ‘Hal, this is Kate Upton.” Xetahal could see no outwardly apparent difference, but as all humans looked the same to him, he kept his beak shut.

“She is gorgeous,” Human Jan sighed. “I want to look like her eventually. Toned, tan, fit.” Xetahal decided not to mention that from the picture he was viewing, this Kate Upton looked like she weighed at least a few kilos heavier than Human Jan.

“Why is she pictured on this document?” he asked. Human Jan flipped the page displaying even more photos of this Kate Upton, some containing little to no actual covering. Xetahal knew this was an uncommon and slightly embarrassing thing among humans and was surprised that Human Jan’s skin pigment had not brightened.

“She’s a model,” Human Jan answered. “She works out and stuff to look like this and then gets pictures taken of her for different brands and companies.” Xetahal could not quite believe her; she must be playing a joke? He looked at Human Jan’s expression but could not detect any signs of insincerity.

“Human Jan,” he stammered, trying to form the proper wording. “Your culture is so strange.” Human Jan closed the magazine and bared her teeth, a smile Xetahal hoped.

“I know,” she chirped and wandered off to join some other human females who had entered the compartment. Xetahal watched them for a moment as they sighed over Human Jan’s pants and began looking through the magazine, cooing and pointing at different pictures. Xetahal left the hold in a stupor, the captain wouldn’t believe this for sure.

If you need any more proof that Roadhog and Junkrat are trans just look at what they wear. They both go topless because they love the freedom of finally being able to do so after top surgery. And they both wear very baggy pants that dont fit so well because its fucking impossible to find pants that fit well when you’re a trans guy. I rest my case.

Being Prince!Jin’s Guard

I can’t actually believe I’m about to type this out but thank you all so fucking much for 4,900 followers !!! How why what thank you I wanna give you all big hugs you’re all so sweet and wonderful to me and I appreciate it so so much and I can’t thank you enough so thank you thank you thank you !!! Okay so this was requested so long ago but I just I ne e d it in my life, I’ve been loving prince!BTS so much lately like I just keep wanting to write it and this sounded like a great way to do it, my first ever series was guard!BTS so this is like a lil nod to that, to start us off as he always does is the amazing, ever-so-loving first member of the hyung line who is looking sup e r c ute as always, Kim Seokjin aka Jin

  • For the reverse situation (Jin as the guard) click here, part two is here
  • In the first guard AU, I left it up to the reader to decide whether the love was strictly platonic, whether it was like a family type of thing or whether it was romantic (part two of the guard series was written in a romantic light so if you wanna see that, the link is up there as well) so I’ll be doing the same thing here
  • Okay so I just wanna do a visual aspect to this bc I don’t think I did a visual bit with prince!BTS and that’s really just a shame I lo v e visuals so much bc I feel like they help me picture the entire beyond the scene
  • Realistically speaking here, any version of Jin is automatically a prince bc have you seen that man he holds himself tall, he’s got charm, he’s got those pretty puppy dog brown eyes that I love so fucking much I’m getting !!! just thinking about how much I love this man
  • You could literally picture this whole AU with any hair color he’s had and it’d work
  • Blonde?? oh hell yeah
  • Shaggy War of Hormone hair??? F o r s u r e
  • The greenish brown from I need you??? Y U P
  • For the sake of choosing just one color, I’m gonna use the pink hair bc that was just a beautiful look that can make a comeback any fucking time he wants it to and in the Wings jacket photo shoot, he looked like a prince I will fight for this concept
  • Okay but this look i s prince!Jin entirely, the white shirt, the black pants, it all fits so well
  • Jin as a prince is overall very kind, very down to earth, he know that he’s the future king so he spends a lot of time with everyone in his city/village/town whatever you wanna call it and gets a really good grasp on what they actually want and need so that when it’s his turn to rule, he can help them
  • Like he has a lil journal that he keeps secret and every time he visits his people and gets a feel of what they want, he writes it down in his journal along with a couple of ideas on how to fix the problem
  • You catch him writing in it one day and if your heart wasn’t already his, it definitely is now bc he genuinely doesn’t have to do all of that, he could just stick to what he wants to city to look like, what he wants to do as a king but instead, he focuses on making sure his people are well taken care of and that they’re happy and content with life
  • Being his guard is actually really fun bc he doesn’t make it feel like a job at all
  • He’s one of those people that are s o welcoming like I feel like he could sit next to a stranger and just become best friends with them bc he’s so funny, he’s outgoing, he’s s w e e t as can be, he’s the whole package he’s such a good best friend
  • He makes it really easy to forget that you’re supposed to be guarding him bc you spend so much time just joking around and being friends
  • He’s so down to earth, even though he’s quite literally got a crown on his head and he’s so playful like he keeps you laughing a l l d a y l o n g
  • You’re still smiling when you walk back to your room bc he’s just such a ball of sunshine and jokes and you two have so many inside jokes with each other and his la uGH is so cute you gotta laugh along with him
  • You have to go through a shit ton of training just to become a guard and then even more training to become the prince’s (and in the future, king’s) guard so it takes a wh il e to get to the point where you can guard him alone without any of the other guards with you
  • So at first, you have to take the job really really seriously and you have to pay attention to everything his old guard tells you, you have to know Jin’s schedule at all times, you have to know where’s he at and who he’s with, you have to be ready to protect him if anything goes wrong
  • It’s a lot of stress at first bc it’s all so new but tbh, once you get to know Jin and see how amazing he is, you don’t mind it bc he deserves the protection, he’s worth being busy all day and night
  • It gets a l o t easier once you find your rhythm and figure out a schedule for yourself and get used to all of it
  • Like every night before bed, you double check his schedule for the next day and make sure everything is lining up okay, you check to see if he’s meeting up with anyone
  • Jin also makes it so much better, he’s really really good at distracting you from the stress
  • Like you thought, after all of the training from the royal guards, that the job was gonna be su p e r stressful and that you wouldn’t last long at all before you had to quit but here you are, a couple years later, still going strong
  • The thing that really brings you two closer is this one night where he comforts you and you open up to him and he opens up to you
  • There’s this one day where Jin gets really really close to getting possibly crushed by a statue after someone bumps into it and he moves them out of the way and tries to shield them but thankfully the statue misses the both of them by a couple of inches
  • You’re so ?? bc it all happens so quickly and you have zero time to actually protect him, which is your job and he could’ve been seriously injured
  • He sees you crying that night and of course, Jin just being Jin, he can’t walk away once he hears you sniffling so he sits down with you and you two start talking
  • He’s got his arm over your shoulders (which is technically a no no but he doesn’t really care) so he can keep you close and make you feel safe, even though you’re supposed to be the one making him feel safe
  • You two start talking about the stress of your jobs, his as a prince and yours as his guard of course, and you realize he’s under a lot of pressure too?? like he’s got an entire kingdom to run in just a couple months and he has to worry about laws, etiquette, marriage, making sure he can be both stern and giving
  • You promise each other to help each other through it all and that’s the day where you two form this really close bond and it kinda re-energizes you and makes you wanna work even harder to help him out as much as you can, not just as a guard but also as a friend
  • His hugs become something you look forward to bc you just feel so safe when you’re in his arms and you know he feels the same
  • It’s really hard not to love being around him bc he’s so amazing and so so sweet and thoughtful
  • He gives you a lot of days off even though technically guards don’t really have “days off” they have shifts where like one guard will watch over him during the day or for a couple of hours and then the next guard will come in but since you’re his personal guard, your shifts are a bit longer and you’re kinda the boss of the team of guards for him so you have to be on site at all times just in case of any emergencies
  • But he still bends all of those rules and sends you out to places on “official castle duty” even though the reality is he’s just telling you to go into town and enjoy your day, go to the park if you want to, get some ice cream, hang out with friends or family or go see some animals, anything you want to do
  • You two are just really really close and you’d do everything you possibly could to keep him safe

Whoever undercutted the sky rat harness of aiming by like, way over 1mil and was only 180k on the MB, you’re disgusting and I hate you for doing that, but at the same time my gay ass is pleased to have been able to buy it.

Look, gotta make leveling BRD enjoyable somehow. Cas seems to like it too :^)

Okay but what if L was really tall:

  • Him slouching because his height makes him stand out and he doesn’t like the extra attention. He doesn’t really like being so tall.
  • People calling him “string bean”.
  • L never growing into his gangly limbs. There’s an awkward but also graceful movement about him like an egret stalking through swamp.
  • Little kids going right up to him and looking up saying, “wow you’re big mister!” with such admiration before their mothers pull them away from the ‘strange looking man’
  • L having to buy pants a few sizes bigger because well-fitted pants are short on him. So he’s always stuck with odd-fitting, baggy clothing. Finding clothes in Japan is 1000% harder for him, since the Japanese tend to be smaller people.
  • Task Force asking L to reach for things in the high cabinets for them during lunch break.
  • Light thinking him and L are the same height but when L finally stands up straight he finds that he towers over him. It was a horrible day for Light.
  • Light being in love with L’s long legs.
  • L wrapping those lovely,long legs around Light.

anonymous asked:

I'm FtM, and I find it pretty hard to find clothes that match my body type, that are also men's/boys clothes. The only thing that's been easy for me is finding shirts. Where would the best place to shop for clothes that match a trans boys body? (btw I love you so m u c h)

h&m but excuse me, PANTS FROM PACSUN FIT ME SO WELL ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!!! Pre-t I would usually only wear bullhead or Hollister, but now, pacs pants fit me like a good bitch