the other side of the fairy tale

in the end, it mattered.

So, I… was not expecting to open up the news tonight and feel like I’d been kicked in the stomach. I’d barely even thought about Linkin Park in years. They were my brief, embarrassing nu-metal mallgoth phase. They were everyone’s brief, embarrassing nu-metal mallgoth phase. Then they were the band even nu-metal posers made fun of. By that point 15-year-old me had plunged down the rabbit hole and discovered Rammstein, and the Smiths, and the Sisters of Mercy, and KMFDM, and I had so much awesome music to wallow in that I barely had time to feel self-conscious that I’d never really stopped loving Hybrid Theory. (Although I did, a little, because I was 15 and nothing was too stupid to feel self-conscious about.)

But holy fuck did I love that album. “Crawling” is the first music video I have any actual memory of seeing on TV. Linkin Park was the first rock concert I ever went to. (And fuck you, they were awesome.) I loved it for the exact reasons my entire age cohort found it embarrassing as soon as we were out of middle school. It’s a primal scream of rage and anguish, artfully bottled up and beautified, that manages to articulate a lot of the nuances of how people hurt each other and what it’s like to be hurt so badly you can barely hang on. Which means it had its finger squarely on the pulse of what it’s like to be 14. Stuck in a rat cage with a few hundred other rats, all of you hopped up to the gills on hormones, clumsily figuring out all the ways people can hurt each other, how and when to protect yourself, how to judge others’ behavior. And because people learning how to judge get awfully enthusiastic about it and nobody likes the primal anguish or the pants-on-head stupidity of their 14-year-old self, it didn’t take long for us to start finding Linkin Park embarrassing. Their angst is utterly sincere, and sincerity is uncomfortable. Especially when it reminds you of the utterly sincere, solipsistic, overblown, ridiculous angst over trivial shit that your adolescent hormones were pumping through your veins in middle school. Getting over yourself is healthy.

Coming back to listen when I’m pushing thirty, though, nothing on Hybrid Theory makes me think about my mid-teens melodrama. Some of it makes me think about friendships and relationships that turned into the kind of fucked-up shit that makes me want to grab my past self and shout “run while you can.” But most of it–speaking as a grown-ass adult here–most of it makes me think “holy shit, I want to find whoever did that to this kid and kick their ass six ways from Sunday.” It is so fucking unbelievably obvious in retrospect that none of the shit Chester Bennington is screaming about is something you just get over once you’ve grown up a little and escaped the shitheads you went to high school with.

Transmuting pain into art is a natural, almost universal impulse; doing it well is hard. Getting close enough to grab the beating heart of it, pulling it out to dissect it, ruthlessly rearranging it into something with structure and clarity, stepping back far enough to judge what you’ve made… the strange, disconcerting realization that you’ve turned it into something beautiful. Something that will appeal to other people, make them relate it back to their own pain even if it’s not the same. (Something vulnerable that can be criticized and judged and sneered at.) Maybe at first it’s for your own benefit, help you process and understand it, let out a bit of that primal scream… but let me tell you, the first time someone says “thank you” or “I needed this” or “you articulated what I couldn’t” or “this got me through a dark place”… that doesn’t just make it worth it, it humbles the shit out of you. And it makes you want to keep doing it forever. It turns the pain into shared understanding and an offer of comfort.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t make the pain go away.

Chester Bennington was really fucking good at transmuting his pain into art and offering it up with utter sincerity.

So RIP, dude. I don’t know the details of what you were going through, but you gave the world a pretty good glimpse of the broad outlines. And that glimpse got a lot of kids through adolescence, my dumb ass included; I can only imagine what it did for people who were going through the same stuff as you. Life may not be some fairy tale where turning your demons into art is always enough to save you from them, but I wish you’d made it. You saved a lot of other people. Whatever peace eluded you here, you deserve to find on the other side.

Source: @mobpsy100_uu on twitter. Omg I just finished Mob Psycho 100 and I’m so happy I watched it!!! I knew nothing about it going into the first episode so everything was new and exciting. I don’t know but from the title I thought it was going to be a horror anime kinda like tokyo ghoul but it totally wasn’t. It was funny and energetic with great action scenes. The build ups during the action scenes were my fav. They weren’t like the build ups in other animes like Naruto or Fairy Tale where it get repetitive sometimes. Also it had good morals and meaning in the main plot that I found refreshing to other animes that were kinda just surface meanings. Ten out of ten would recommend!!!!

Also as a side note before watching this anime I was concerned because I hadn’t watch a really really great anime in a while probs since I watched Death Parade. Thank you Mob Psycho 100 for helping me get my love for anime.

Centering whiteness in the craft.

I’ve been into the occult for as long as I can remember. At 8 I was checking out books on satanism, vampirism, and witchcraft from the library, at 10 I started doing my own spells and interacting with Faefolk, at 13 my mom told me about the spell work she used to do growing up. I have grown a lot since those days of building fairy houses in my front yard out of rocks and flowers and leaving little offerings of honey or juice in exchange for good luck or help finding something I lost, and in those years of navigating the pagan and witch communities both online and off, reading books nonstop, blogs nonstop, etc, I noticed a trend. 

Paganism, the occult, and the craft are all very very white. Not only that but whiteness is centered as the one and only way to participate in these interests. First it started in the wiccan books I read as a child, the “white vs. black” magic that is shoved down the throats of aspiring wiccans and witches and eventually they spew it back at anyone else who will listen. If you’ve been on my blog a bit, you already know my gripe about white or black magic. If you haven’t browsed my blog or been there for my rants here is the nitty gritty: The idea at it’s simplest is rooted in colorism and racism, where white is seen as good and black or darkness seen as bad, this trope has been carried over into many different movies and books featuring magic as the villian who usually practices “black” magic has darker features, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair, while the good characters practice white magic and as such represent purity with their fair skin and hair and eyes. Not only this but historically the magic and practices of those of color, brown and black people, have been demonized for centuries while magic performed by white people are seen as some kind of fairy tale, quirky, beautiful, sipping tea by a potted plant, aesthetic. 

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Lefou’s gay.

Today Disney announced that Lefou will be an explicitly gay character, the first for Disney fairy tale films and films aimed at the all ages group from the company. A lot of people feel strongly about this on both sides, conservative extremists feel this is the utmost betrayal from Disney and think the film needs a new content rating. I think that is ridiculous for a number of reasons mostly that a gay man existing in a world where a girl falls in love with a beast is somehow the controversial topic. But on the other end of the discourse rainbow many feel that this is an insult to lgbt people and that Disney has insulted and made a grave mistake by having Lefou be canoically gay. I also think that’s a bit much. So here are some of my bullet points/thoughts on why I truly believe this is a good step for Disney and the LGBT community if you would so indulge me.

  • I understand many concerns revolving this piece of news, Lefou in this version is now a gay man who pines for his straight macho best friend/pack leader. Some are condemning that idea which I find a bit silly. I understand that a stereotype thrown upon our community is that we are unable to have straight friends because we will “always fall for them”. Which we all know is bullshit, that being said sometimes it also fucking happens but it’s no more different than the friendzone guy who is in love with his childhood best friend. Point is it’s an actual thing queer people do deal with so to prohibit as a storytelling device is just stupid and weird. A good lesson for lgbt people and anyone honestly is sometimes the people you will like, or even love will not reciprocate those feelings.
  • Not all lgbt people need to be portrayed as saintly or even good people to count as representation. For example one of my favorite things about the new Series of Unfortunate events show on netflix was that there was a gay couple in it. My favorite thing not being that they were gay, but that they were gay and just as bad as the rest of the adults in the show. Because I believe it’s important to show LGBT people as humans rather than amazing people with little flaws and great outcomes even though I understand the need for that. So Lefou can be in a bad relationship, he can be allowed to make poor decisions because he is blinded by love from someone who will never love him back, he is even allowed to be a bad person because him being gay shouldn’t excuse him from any of that. Because character flaws make for a interesting character shocking I know and can even be the payoff for character growth. Which leads me to my next point. 
  • This is a character arch Bill condon has even said it. Meaning Lefou will go through some sort of change or lesson in this film. Just because he starts following this awful person in the beginning of the film does not mean that’s where he story will end. Because again this is not the animated feature, we don’t know the exact context of their relationship nor do we have an idea of what will happen to Lefou through the course of the film. But for a movie about acceptance of those who are different and learning to love I have a hard time believing it’s going to end poorly for the now gay Lefou. Just remember Bill has said where they end with Lefou is something rather beautiful, and I personally cannot wait to see what that is.
  • Any bit of screen time in which a gay person is a person and given an actual story arc is something that I view as important. This is a company that for many years had to code in order to get away with anything. We are living in a day and age where they can openly say that a character is gay. Which I think is something huge and something I want to encourage from the company, so that we can get more of these kind of ideas. I am not saying you have to be inherently okay or accepting of this, but I am asking that you give the film a chance and watch it before having your final thoughts be a reblog slamming this from all angles. Because while you may disagree maybe some kid out there is going to watch what happens with lefou and feel better about themselves leaving that theater.
SKAM S04E07 Clip 2 - Ramadan

SARA: [Frida said that she wanted to be a doctor today. LOL]

ISAK:   [haha please don’t … anyone]

ISAK: [but knowing her … that’s true]

SARA: [But it’s a pity for her. I think her mom is alcoholic or a freeloader or something, because Mathilde had seen her with a lady that looked homeless and when Mathilde had gone over to greet them, Vilde tried to hide]

ISAK: [how…]

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“Lest a nightmare should come to the fairies’ cousin twice removed on their mother’s side.”  Color process illustration by Dugald Stewart Walker for his children’s book, Dream Boats and other Stories, published in 1920.

Russian names: pet names

As in, names for loved ones, not for pets, although those are fun, too.

(I’ve been considering a post like this for a long time, and then I got an ask requesting it, so I decided to go ahead and pick up my drafts. Dear person who requested it, I’m very sorry, I accidentally clicked “send” before I took note of your URL, that’s why I’m not tagging you. Credits for prompting this are yours, anyway.)

Most Russian partners and spouses address and refer to each other by the diminutives or their first names, sometimes using a slightly different version than everyone else (Vitka or Vitenka, rather than just Vitya, Yurka or Yurochka rather than Yura), but generally, they use the same names for each other as their siblings and close friends use for them.

Also, Russians in general (especially Russian men, Georgi Popovich notwithstanding) are a little (okay, a lot) more reserved than people in a lot of other countries; ending every phone call with “I love you”, making sure there are always fresh flowers in the house and bringing each other breakfast in bed isn’t something that happens very often, not even in novels.. 

Therefore, not a lot of Russians make up pet names for each other, call each other something new and sweet every day or even explicitly say “I love you” at all. 

That said, pet names still do exist, and people do use them - sometimes sincerely, and sometimes jokingly or even in mocking.

Before I begin my three-page rant on Russian nicknames, I’d like to make sure we’re clear about three things.

First, my transliteration isn’t the only correct way to spell it. There’s often no right way to transliterate some words or letters, so if you see and like some other way to spell some word - go ahead and use that, it most possibly doesn’t matter. Just watch out for o/a and e/i in unstressed syllables (it’s YurOchka, VitEnka), because those, if spelled wrong, look like spelling mistakes rather than alternative transliterations.

Second, YMMV. Russia is huge. Dialects exist. People are different. There’s a good chance someone may use some words differently, and that’s okay.

Third, I hope everyone’s aware that it’s also okay to use any words you like in your fanfic, even if they only sound Russian, or don’t even sound Russian at all; it’s your text, you’re the one who’s creating the universe your characters live in; the Russia in your fanfic doesn’t have to be exactly the same as the Russia that exists in our world.

If, however, you want to stick to the real-life Russian pet names, this text is for you.

The first thing that’s important to remember when picking a Russian endearment is gender. A lot of Russian words aren’t gender-neutral, and using the wrong gender makes it hilarious if the person is secure in their gender or offensive, if they have gender-related issues. So please, make sure you pick a gender-neutral word or use the correct version of a gendered one. I marked all feminine words with an f, and all masculine with an m, and explicitly stated if the word is gender-neutral.

The word most frequently used in fanfic, “дорогой(m, dorogoy)/дорогая(f, dorogaya)” is, indeed, the equivalent for “darling”, but in real life it’s hardly ever used as an endearment. Instead, it’s more of a word for old married couples: “Dorogaya, you ruined my life, - You’re not exactly a gift yourself, dorogoy!”. It’s used ironically or jokingly much more often than as an actual way to address someone you love. It’s also the same word as “expensive”, so statements like “Moya dorogaya is very dorogaya, that’s the third silver necklace this week” aren’t unheard of.

Much more often used is “милый(m, miliy)/милая(f, milaya)”. It basically means the same - “dear/darling” - but sounds more gentle and intimate. Young women use that, along with lubimiy, on girly forums to refer to their boyfriends (”Last night miliy said that I…”).

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Once Upon a Time: Breaking down the big reveals of the season 7 premiere

Once Upon a Time has officially cracked open a new book, trapping some of our favorite fairy tale characters in a new curse and kicking off what’s hopefully a long road ahead as the show heads in a different direction.

So here are the basics of what happened in the premiere: Young Henry (Jared Gilmore) left Storybrooke to find his story. Years later, Henry (now played by Andrew J. West) crosses paths with Cinderella (Dania Ramirez), the catalyst for what viewers know will be an epic love story — though their initial meeting does not indicate that.

After they literally crash into each other, the glass-slippered princess steals Henry’s motorcycle so she can kill the prince at the ball. Twist. (By the way, that prince is played by Liam Hall, who will portray Slade Wilson’s son onArrow this season.) But Cinderella decides not to kill him at the last second. Another twist: Lady Tremaine (Gabrielle Anwar) does and frames her, so Cinderella must escape with the aid of Henry. (Side note: Henry was dosed by Rose Reynolds’ Alice, who was working for Robert Carlyle’s Rumplestiltskin, because apparently bad things happen when you take part in a story that isn’t yours.)

That’s all fine and good in fairy-tale land, but all these dynamics are wildly different in the Seattle-based cursed neighborhood of Hyperion Heights. Jacinda is a single mother working to stay afloat — at Mr. Cluck’s Chicken Shack, a cheeky reference to Lost. Henry is a Swyft driver, which is the equivalent to Uber. He wrote a book called Once Upon a Time, which told the stories of the first six seasons, but it didn’t sell. He has writer’s block until Lucy (Alison Fernandez) shows up at his door and claims to be his daughter. He, of course, doesn’t believe her because he’s cursed.

After Lucy steals his laptop, he goes to Roni’s bar to get it back. Roni, by the way, is Regina’s (Lana Parrilla) cursed alter ego, so the two don’t know that they’re mother and son. This is also where he first meets Jacinda as well as Victoria, a.k.a Lady Tremaine, the vicious Miranda Priestly-like developer who is gentrifying the neighborhood to push out the fairy tale characters. After Jacinda tries to leave town with Lucy, a fact Henry spills to Victoria, her stepmother decidedly takes custody of Lucy, a real twist of the knife considering they’re already under a curse!

Henry also crosses paths with Rogers, otherwise known as Captain Hook (Colin O’Donoghue), when his car is stolen — clearly to keep him in the neighborhood. Officer Rogers is a uniform cop who ultimately is promoted to detective by hour’s end. His new partner? Weaver, a.k.a Rumplestiltskin, who appears to be a corrupt cop seemingly in Victoria’s pocket. (The mystery behind Gold’s new character is finally solved!) Sure, we got a lot of answers, but the premiere raised just as many burning questions. Here’s our attempt at breaking them down:

  • Who cast the curse? Unlike how the pilot revealed Regina was to blame for the Dark Curse, we still don’t know. A fairly obvious answer is that Lady Tremaine did it, but is that too obvious?
  • How did Regina, Hook, and Rumple end up cursed? No answers during the premiere, but the producers have previously teased that the trio are among those who answer Henry’s call for help, which we’ll get to see during episode 2.
  • Why is Hook in Hyperion Heights, but not Emma? It’s one of the biggest burning questions of the season, and unfortunately, the premiere gave no clear indication of why. When Rogers saw Emma’s picture in Henry’s book, there did seem to be a glimmer of recognition.The good news is that viewers will get more answers during the second episode, which features the return of Jennifer Morrison for an “emotional curtain call.”
  • What’s the Hyperion Heights version of the clock tower? In the pilot, the Storybrooke clock tower was frozen at 8:15 — another reference to Lost — but it started working again when Emma (Jennifer Morrison) decided to stay in Storybrooke. It appears that the community garden may be the equivalent, as Cinderella’s lucky flower begins to grow after she makes a wish in the wishing well. Also a candidate: The clock ticking could be the equivalent to Henry’s writer’s block abating by the end of the hour. Henry’s arrival certainly seemed to spark something, at least, within Roni, who ends up not selling her bar to Victoria by hour’s end.
  • What did the prince do to Cinderella? She aimed to kill him at the ball, explaining to Henry that he took everything from her. No answers now, but surely there will be more in the upcoming flashbacks.
  • What are the consequences of Henry being in a story that’s not his? Alice drugged him during the ball, all but threatening him that bad things happen when you’re involved in a story that doesn’t belong to you. Could the curse be one of those consequences?
  • Why is Alice working for Weaver and Rumplestiltskin? Not only does Alice do his bidding in the fairy-tale world, but her Hyperion Heights alter ego Tilly tells Weaver as soon as Henry shows up. How are they connected? TBD, of course!
  • Where is Belle? Speaking of Weaver, it appears Rumple is back to his evil ways, and Belle is nowhere to be found. What has happened to her? Another TBD question, but we should get answers in the Rumple-centric fourth episode, which features the return of Emilie de Ravin.

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10 things I need as a little.

1. Acceptance

Please Daddy, accept little me. The world tells me I am not supposed to be like this, but I am, and I am not supposed to want these things in this way, but I do. With that, comes my own self-shaming, and worry, and insecurities. But, if Daddy accepts me, and loves this part of me, then it will help me to accept and love myself this way too. I enjoy this part of me so much, and your acceptance allows me to venture into little space and enjoy those little moments.

2. Encouragement

This world can be an adventure Daddy, and sometimes I might need your help in taking that extra step. I might need your help to find that secret path that leads to a whole new world. Encourage me to move forward. Please Daddy, encourage me to be my best self, praise me when I do well, and talk to me about what I can do better. Little me is less sure of herself and she needs a little boost.

3. Security

Please Daddy, be a safe space for me. This part of me wants out very badly, but as the world shames who I am and what I want, she tends to stay hidden most of the time. I don’t want to hide her from you, and I need you to keep that safe space open for me. Let little me feel safe and secure so she can come out and dance in this beautiful paradise called life.

4. Paternalism

Please Daddy, be my Daddy and treat me like your little girl. I want rules, I want discipline, I want to obey, I want to be a good girl for you. As much as my little wants to play and dance and sing, what she really wants is a Daddy to love her, and spoil her, and guide her, and use her, and keep her, and corrupt her.

5. Patience

Little me is definitely not the most rational me at times. Sometimes I may cry, sometimes I may be stubborn, sometimes I may be a brat, but it’s not because I like to push Daddy’s buttons, but rather it’s because I think differently when I am in little space. I ask that before you become frustrated, be patient and help us talk our way through my irrationalities.

6. Vulnerability

Please Daddy, make me feel vulnerable. Vulnerability is so scary that it makes me tremble with excitement (and drip in anticipation). Vulnerability is one of the deepest needs of my little. Vulnerability helps me to feel small, vulnerability helps me to feel needy, and vulnerability helps me to feel connected. With you, I want to feel small, with you I want to feel needy, and with you, more than anyone Daddy, I want to feel connected.

7. Naiveté

Please Daddy, let me be naïve. Show me the world like I am seeing it for the first time because, with you, in my little space, everything is new and it is the first time for so many things. And please Daddy, I want you to show me the world, show me what excites you and let me get excited, show me the beauty and let me admire it with you, show me what can be scary and help me to not fear it.

8. Relinquishment

Please Daddy, you take the control, and you make the decisions. When I have to make choices and take control, my little tends to fade into the background to allow for big me to make these decisions, but that’s no fun. Little me doesn’t want to be left behind, so Daddy should take all those hard decision-y things away from me and keep them all for himself. After all, you are the Daddy…

9. Adventures

Please Daddy, take me on adventures, bring me surprises, make my world an exciting place full of wonder and discovery. Whether it be a blanket fort in our living room, or a trip to the other side of the world, adventures allows us to experience the world together. And I wouldn’t want to do that with anyone else but you

10. Communication

Please Daddy, life won’t always be a perfect fairy tale. I want us to communicate with each other our ideas, troubles, wants, desires, needs and allow the other person to love us in the way that is best for both of us. You are not just a Daddy, you are my Daddy, and I am not just a little, but I am Your little girl, and I want that to mean something unique and special to us.

the seal and the swan

Another fairy tale. This one is about selkies and swan-maidens

Just to be on the safe side I’m going to put a trigger warning on this for abusive relationships/domestic abuse.

————————————————-

The selkie and the swan-woman met each other in the market one early spring day.

One was buying food for the household; the other was selling fine woven cloth. Their eyes met in passing and they knew, without exchanging a single word, what the other one was, and they knew that they shared the same sorrow.

The selkie was short and round-bodied, and her skin was warm brown and mottled like a seal’s, and half-hidden under dark curling hair her eyes were like scrying pools, deep and dark and strange. The swan-woman was tall and broad-shouldered and pale, and had hair as fair as swan feathers and eyes that were gray-blue like the sky meeting the sea. The selkie paused, her hand outstretched over the cloth the swan-woman was selling, and they looked at each other.

“What’s the matter with you?” the selkie’s husband demanded in her ear. “You make me look foolish when you go dreaming like that in front of people.”

“Of course,” the selkie said, drawing her hand back. “Forgive me. I was only looking at the cloth.”

“We don’t need any,” the husband said to the swan-woman. To his wife he said, “This is too expensive for us.”

He ushered her away, but she looked back, and eyes of the sea met eyes of the sky, and both understood.

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Undercast: The Beast (part 1)

It has been a month since Captain Anrez took V onto his ship. Originally the pirates were just going to drop her off into the nearest town, but the captain had a feeling she could be a good addition to the crew. V spends her days doing whatever task the captain gives her moving from one to the next without taking a break, not wanting even a second to let her mind wander. With plenty to do on the ship, she works from dawn till dusk with the other members, slowly getting to know them at the same time. 


She gets along well with Angel and Cherry, both of them the sweet mother figures of the crew. Always trying to strike up a conversation with V, attempting to get her to open up to them but with no success due to the walls V has put around herself. 


Mel and Senkiller are on the wilder side, always getting into trouble and trying to drive the captain crazy. V doesn’t mind them as much, she tries not to pay attention to them but they occasionally try to pull her into their mischief. 


CTK is the nice funny one, always trying to make puns to get a good laugh. He’s kind and caring towards the kids, always looking out for them and keeping an eye socket on them at all times even if they don’t know it. 


Then there’s the captain, Captain Anrez. V doesn’t understand all the choices and decisions he makes, but things always seem to turn out well in the end. He’s strong and intimidating at first but has a caring side when he wants to show it. 


As far as V could tell, this was a very strong crew and definitely not a group of pirates you want to mess with. V was just starting to warm up to them, starting to feel like she might have found a place where she could belong, people she could actually call family. But just like every other story, there is a point where you have to wake up from your fairy tale.

_____

V opened her eyes and sat up quickly in bed, she couldn’t believe she had actually fallen asleep. She looks down to find Apple and Papyrus snuggled against her sleeping soundly underneath the covers. V smiles a bit, she remembered she had tried to put the kids to bed with Cherry who had told them a story to help them sleep. She chuckled a bit, she new the only reason she was still with them was because Cherry was too nice to wake her up. 


V quietly lifted Apple and Papyrus’s heads off her lap and scooted her way off the bed. She tried her best to tiptoe out of the room but the occasional creaking sound from the floorboards echoed through the room. V exited the room quietly shutting the door behind her and began to walk down towards the stairs leading to the rest of the ship. 


As she made her way towards them, she began to feel a burning pain begin to rise from inside her chest. She grunted as the pain began to increase, slowly getting stronger and stronger with every second. 


“Augh” V lets out a muffled grunt as she tries to stabilize herself against the wall of the ship. She grips her chest tightly with the other hand trying to steady her breathing, hoping the pain would pass. The longer she waited the more unbearable the pain became, her soul feeling like it was going to rip out of her chest. V pauses, her eyes widening in fear. She knew what this feeling was and what becomes of the pain. If she could just calm down enough, she knew she could restrain it back into control, she just had to get outside.   


V struggles up the stairs, using the rope railing to steady herself. She slowly walks over to the railing of the ship, placing her hands on top of it to keep her balance. 


I knew this would happen… she thought to herself. What was I thinking, did I honestly think I could fit in somewhere? Be normal…


“Augh- ah” V says, crying out in pain. She could feel the burning in her chest begin to spread through her bones. She grips the edge of the wood gritting her teeth to keep herself from shouting out. 


“Just relax, calm down you idiot, your only making things worse” V says to herself as she closes her eyes, taking deep breaths as she tries to calm down and focus on pushing back the magic. She could feel the pain start to shrink back as she continued breathing deeply. Almost there… If I can just-  Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice from above her.


“Hey, you okay there buddy?” 


V looks up to see CTK sliding down a rope. He reaches the ground and brings the rope over and ties it to a pole next to the mast. 


“Y-yeah I’m fine. Just had a hard time sleeping” V lies to him, turning around to try and not let him see her face. 


“Yeah? Was it a nightmare or something?” he asks as he leans against the railing of the boat. 


“N-no, nothing like that” she says gritting her teeth. Dang it CTK, nows not a good time. Please just leave! 


“I didn’t mean to startle you if I did by the way, I do my best thinking up in the crows nest. Especially when I can’t sleep” he places his hands on the back of his head and shifts his gaze to the stars. 


“No you didn’t, I was too lost in thought to notice. I’m okay, really you can go back to your perch or whatever.” V could feel the pain begin to spread again, this time reaching her fingertips. She couldn’t concentrate on holding back her magic with CTK there. 


“V, your trembling. Are you sure your okay?” CTK asks with concern in his voice. 


“Y-Yes I’m fine! Just- just a bit of cramping in the bones…” Please CTK, not now! V could feel the pressure in her teeth and fingers slowly pushing their way out to sharp points.


“That must be why you couldn’t sleep huh? Maybe I can help” he states as he places a hand on her shoulder with a smile.


“NO!” She yells, brushing his hand off and walking over to the mast. “I’m just fine. I can handle it really. Please just go.” V grits her teeth, the pain becoming almost unbearable now. She knew she was too late. She’d have to get off the ship. For everyone’s safety. 


“V, I’m not stupid…” V was startled by the sternness in his voice. “I know when somethings up. Now what’s really going on?”


“Its nothing. Please, please! Just leave me alone” V slips behind the mast out of CTKs gaze. Her face scrunches in pain, every bone in her body felt like it was on fire now.


“C’mon V. I’ve seen a lot of things on this ship and each of us has our own thing we try to hide about ourselves but its okay. You’d be surprised at what kinds of things are on this ship.” V was silent, not saying a word. She began to feel pressure build up in her spine, her clothes tightening as her bones began to shift. She had to leave, it was too late to explain. She had to teleport. Somewhere. Anywhere. He mind frantically searched for a place that she could go, away from everyone. 


“V, you can trust me. I promise.”


“AUUUUUUGGGHHH!” V yells as a loud rip and crack echo through the night air. 


“V!” CTK runs over to the mast, sliding slightly as he stops but to his surprise, no one was there.

______

“Dang it!” Captain Anrez yells as he kicks a barrel. “This is ridiculous!”


“Captain, calm down. Your going to hurt yourself” Angel says as she reaches out to comfort him. 


“Calm down?! Calm down?! How the heck am I supposed to calm down when a member of my crew just up and leaves in the middle of the night without saying a single word!”


“I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation captain…” says Cherry as she braids Apples hair. 


“Yeah, I’m sure she has a perfect reason for taking off FOR THREE DAYS!” Anrez yells kicking the barrel again. 


“You said you were the last one to talk to her CTK, your sure she didn’t say anything about where she was going?” Angel asks. 


“No, not a word.” CTK replies turning his head away from the crew. He hadn’t dared say anything about that night other than he talked to her. He didn’t know what happened or where she went, but the sound of breaking bones haunted his mind for the past few days. 


“If you ask me I’m glad she’s gone. She was a weak little wimp” says Mel, turning his nose up in disgust.


“Yeah, nothing but a goody two shoes” retorts Senkiller. 


“Nobody asked you, so why don’t you two go stuff yourselves full of gunpowder or something” Cherry snaps.


“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you go play with your little checklist in the storage room Miss Kill Joy” Mel retorts as Senkiller snickers next to him. 


“V had been through a lot and you two just kept treating her like another one of your toys to play with. You don’t get to say a word about her!” Cherry shouts back. 


“Enough!” Anrez yells back at them. “All of you knock it off. In not in the mood for your bickering.”


“C-captain?” Everyone turns to the source of the small voice. They face the group of kids sitting next to Cherry. Papyrus makes his way over to the captain, shuffling as he moves his feet nervously. 


“Is V going to be okay? Do you think she’s hurt?” he asks sweetly, staring up at Anrez with big eyes. Anrez sighs and bends down to pat Papyrus on the shoulders.


“Don’t worry kiddo, we’ll find her.” 


“She probably just went to find something and got lost. She’ll be back.” Angel says comforting Papyrus. 


“Yeah but when she does I swear I’m gonna-“ Anrez was cut off but the sound of someone teleporting onto the ship. They all turn around and find V standing there gripping her sides. 


“V!” The children yell as they race over to hug her, smiling as they hug her legs. “We missed you!” They exclaim as she smiles back at them. Angel, Cherry and CTK make their way over to V next with worried looks on their faces. 


“Alright kids, I’m sure she’s had enough hugs.” Angel says. The kids all let go and step back to let the adults in. 


“Oh my gosh, V?! What happened?!” Cherry gasps as she gets closer to V, her clothes all ripped and torn apart. 


“Are you okay dear?” Angel asks full of concern. 


“Its- it’s a long story…” V says struggling to get the words out. 


“You better have one heck of good explanation for this V” says Anrez as he stomps over to her. “I don’t know what kind of ship you were on last but here, you don’t just leave without telling your captain where you’re going. Or anyone else for that matter.”


“Captain please, I can-“


“No! This is where you zip it!” Yells Anrez as his hand makes a zipping motion in the air silencing V. “Do you have any idea how long you were gone? How long we looked for you?! We checked all the closest towns and islands searching for you. This kind of behavior is not tolerated on this ship!”


“Anrez…” Angel tries to interrupt but is downed out by Anrez’s anger.


“I am in charge of you, you are a part of my crew! If something happens to you that is on my conscience! I’m the one who has to live with that, do you understand?!”


“Anrez…”


“The next time you have other plans or places to be you tell me. This isn’t just some happy little ship where you can spend the night then take off doing whatever you want. There are rules. I am the captain and you WILL respect my orders is that clear?!”


“Anrez!” Angel yells.


“What?!” Anrez stares at Angel who is now holding V steady with Cherry. He had been so angry he hadn’t noticed V almost collapse. Angel places her hand on V’s head then looks back at Anrez. 


“She has a fever, she’s really weak. We need to help her.” Angel says continuing to hold V steady. Anrez Stares at V, contemplating his decisions before he sighs and makes his way over to V. He picks her up and begins carrying her to the crews quarters. 


“Angel, watch the kids. Cherry, I’m going to need your help.”  
“Yes Captain”

____________________

Hope you guys enjoyed it! 

Part 2: https://vzearia.tumblr.com/post/167510466977/undercast-the-beast-part-2

(BTW, this is before Blu was a member of the crew) 


Undercast © @anrez-op-skele and @perfectshadow06

Anrez and Senkiller © @anrez-op-skele

CTK and TK papyrus © @perfectshadow06

Cherry © @domino-doodles

Mel © @golzy

Angel © @armyaangel

Apple © @thunderappledrawing

I Can’t Help But Think Of Romania

I can’t help but think of Romania.

I lived in Romania for two years as a missionary, from 2004-06. I grew to love that country deeply. It’s been long-burdened by its communist past; it wasn’t just a form of government, but rather a mindset that was fused into the fibers of the country. There’s no more stark a symbol of that than the block apartment buildings that fill the cities. They’re concrete from skin to marrow and each one seems intent on keeping the populace in its place.

There’s a city in the west called Hunedoara. The countryside leading to it is out of some fairy tale. There’s even a storybook castle on one side of the city. But surrounding the city is a ring of abandoned, crumbling industrial wasteland.

I remember the train rides that lead from city to city. Some of the trains were more advanced than any train I’ve seen in the United States. Others were rickety steel boxes on wheels, the floors covered in sunflower seeds and spittle. Train rides ranged from a couple hours to 8 and 13 hour train rides. As often as I rode the trains, and even for that long, I was glued to the windows, watching the country go past. It’s beautiful.

The people were warm, always – always – offering more, even when they’d already given. Especially when it came to food. They offered, sometimes, what seemed to be just about all they had. They are a generous people. I even miss the times when we were shouted at, kicked out, threatened, chocked, and spat on. I walked the streets in the fall in Sibiu, an old fortress city. I trudged through Bucharest in the winter, where the streets go unpaved. I ran down steps, two at a time, to catch the subway more times than I can count. I ran through rainstorms on the way home, soaked to the bone. I miss it all.

Some of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen, and some of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had, I saw and I had there.
Some of the worst things I’ve ever seen happened there, too. It wasn’t uncommon to see a child wandering the streets. Some were beggars, whose first words taught by their parents were asking for money. For some kids, it was literally all they knew how to say, and they didn’t even know what it meant. I once saw a kid, no more than 8, huffing silver paint out of a plastic bag because it took his mind off of being so hungry all the time.

The weight of communism, even decades removed, still smothered this whole place. It hung around the necks of everyone there, even those who hadn’t yet been born. Everywhere I went, people told me stories of where they were during the Christmas Revolution of 1989. 

Nicolae Ceausescu was the dictator of Romania at the time. He was vain, and cruel, and petty. Run of the mill communist dictator in the Stalin mold. Starvation and scarcity were the norm. Children, even those with parents, went hungry. To make a political point, Ceausescu cut off supplies from an entire city in the west, Timisoara. Of course, this caused more unrest than order. In a speech in what is now called Revolution Square, he spoke from a municipal building’s balcony, and tried to placate the people. But they shouted him down. Even Ceausescu loyalists (paid plants, mostly) were overpowered by the crowd’s chants. It was deafening. They stormed the building and the revolution began.

Ceausescu and his Deputy Prime Minister wife, Elena, fled, but were soon caught and convicted. The military who had served Ceausescu, and usually acted on his command, knew which way the wind was blowing, and they held a tribunal. It was quick and unanimous, and the Ceausescus were found guilty of, among other things, genocide.

Nicolae and Elena Ceausescu were executed by firing squad at a secret military installation. On Christmas day, on live television. They filmed their dead faces so that the people could know that they were really dead and gone.

A beautiful country was ransacked and oppressed by its leaders. For power, for profit, for ego. The country suffered, and eventually revolted. Romania still bears the weight of that suffering, deep in its mind and soul. Just like the concrete block apartments: skin to marrow. When last I saw the building from which Ceausescu spoke in Revolution Square, there were still bullet holes in the walls, far above reach.

Romania is a beautiful country, because of its land and its people, and despite its authoritarian past. Though knives may be removed easily enough, wounds are often stubborn to heal.

So. 

As Donald Trump, a man-child who is as vain as he is insecure, and as vengeful as he is delusional, seeks to establish himself as an infallible leader… as he orders scientific data be deleted… as he calls facts fake, and propaganda real… as he flippantly talks about committing war crimes in Iraq… as he seeks to defund arts programs and social safety nets… as he makes his press secretary tell flagrant lies about petty, obvious things like the size of his inauguration crowd… as he seeks to exhaust our capacity to think critically, and speak truth to power… as he seeks to dismantle constitutional rights, and strip the country itself in order to make money… as he continually displays signs of serious mental illness… as he proves to be not just a buffoon, but a real lunatic… I can’t help but think of Romania.

And as I think of all the inevitable harm that will come to people as a direct result of Trump’s actions, and the people that will most likely die from his orders – or possibly die in defiance of his orders – I can’t help but think of Romania.

I can’t help but think of Romania because what happened there, and in countless countries around the world and throughout history, can happen here. It is happening here, right now.

Literature, scripture, and history itself have all warned us about a guy like this. And here he is.

If you don’t like political posts, I understand. I don’t like them. Who does? But I will not be shy about this guy. Not to you, not to my representatives, and not to any Congressman/woman who seems to have dropped their spine on the way to work. 

I’m mad and I’ll stay mad until this guy is no longer in charge of the nuclear codes. What happened in Romania can happen here. Serious damage was done by a two-bit dictator from eastern Europe, and Romania hasn’t yet healed in full. Imagine how long it’ll take for the United States to heal from its own president, whose capabilities far surpass Ceausescu’s. Imagine the damage Trump can inflict, the damage he seeks to inflict. 

Tell me I’m wrong.

We’re only six days into the Trump presidency. This is an American Dictatorship unfolding in real time.

the reason birds can fly

Summary: Henry wonders, absently, in between flipping through the pages of his giant history book and teasing Killian, if there would ever be a point where he’d actually have to explain all this to someone. The only other people he knows really well who are his age are Grace Jefferson and Violet, and both of them can totally understand the concept of “my aunt who is actually my step-grandmother is the local librarian and she has decided to employ half the cast of Peter Pan out of the goodness of her heart”.

Two months later, on the eve of his graduating the eleventh grade, Emma says, “So, have you thought about college?” and Henry thinks, crap.

can yall believe …. i FINISHED an ouat fic ….. for REAL …. anyways this has been a wip for literally the past sixth months, no exaggeration. it was originally inspired by @alchemistc‘s delightful fic “The Worst”, which is where roughly the first mini-scene and the name “amelia” is drawn from. after that, though, this mammoth beast grew into its own mess, and i’ve been working and re-working it for so long that sometimes i forget that it’s not, like, actually canon. speaking of – this is definitely not in line with whatever the heck is going on in canon right now. for example, robins are alive where they are otherwise canonically dead, bc who needs that kind of negativity in their life, u get me? so please – take this with a grain of whimsy. it’s definitely not aligning with canon, and just me having fun with my own son henry daniel mills and his giant mess of a fairy tale family. big BIG thanks to @this-too-too-sullied-flesh and @parlegee for giving me super helpful feedback and actually proofreading this monstrosity. title’s from ya boy jm barrie bc im definitely That Kind Of Person. enjoy, folks!

He gets Cool Kid Status within, like, the first ten minutes of being on campus, which is a thing that has pretty much never happened to him before in his life. So when it does happen, halfway between clutching his map and student ID, peppering his RA with questions and moving boxes of books into the cramped dorm – well, it’s weird, okay?

It’s also definitely because his mom looks like one of those tough badasses from straight out of an action movie, it’s just the way she stands, pretty much, and also both of his step-dads have tattoos.

God, he’s gonna kill all of them.

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How to start hedge-riding?

To pass through the veil, to the worlds of spirits, one must have madness, cunning, imagination, and energy.

Firstly, one should master protection and wardings, for the beings on the other side are far above human morality, thinking with the logic of the mad, capable of inflicting much ruin upon a foolish mortal that offends them or falls for trickery.

Become well versed in the riddles and the rules for interacting with such beings. Research myths, folklore, and fairy tales. All offer advice that is valuable to any witch whom is or will wander the realms beyond our own.

Do not eat what they may offer, especially without trust. Be careful of inviting them home. And don’t forget your own words of power, especially those to invoke memory of returning home. One simple phrase is “Rentum Tormentum, in the Devils Name” to return you instantly to your body. Ingrain this or any other safe phrase into your head.

Come up with a name there. True names are a means of power over something, and your true name may be your nickname, it may be your full name, it may be some hidden name revealed in gnosis, all depending on your paradigm. Become your alias there. Let it resonate with your spirit.

Then it is experimenting with medium, means and conditions to induce trance, a stimulus. This stimulus will be a repetitive action or posture done in a ritualized method. It could be setting, drumming, entheogens, silence, dance, posture, lucid dreaming, mantras, anything to spark your heart into strumming madly or lulling the mind to a simple slowness, in any combination that you find as the correct method for you. Use your senses to your advantage. Use the scent of a candle or incense to bring your mind into the state you want. Use the candle light, sigils, darkness as your allies. Use the solid earth beneath your feet to make you still as a tree. Visualize a fire under your feet to dance with madness. Hear the mp3 of a drum, or the shaking of the rattle in your hand. Taste the mushroom and associate its qualities with where you are going.

That’s the thing about hedge-crossing, is that no two whom do it will have the exact same stimulus or learning. Experiment, learn, and proceed on your terms. It may take a day, it may take a year, but keep at it, and it will come to you. And it will get even easier as you make it more weekly and daily, as you flex the muscles of your mind.

Fly free, and wander your crooked path with curiosity and caution.

Inseparable (Reddie) 1/?

They say you should never date a good friend. Why? Because if your relationship ends badly, you will more than likely lose that good friend. Richie and his best friend Eddie took that risk when they became an official couple. But what happens when sudden change erupts into their relationship? The two who would travel to the ends of the world for each other are put up to the test. Unfortunately, Eddie knew there was no such thing as fairy tales…Right?

Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 (coming soon)

Eddie ran his fingers through his hair slowly as his eyes glanced over the worksheets that sat in front of him. His lips pressed to the side while he tapped a pencil against the desk gently... POP!.. Eddie tilted his head toward the noise, trying to shield his ear and keep his focus.

“If x equals that, then-..” POP! Eddie let out a loud groan as he snapped his body around in the chair to face the tall lanky boy sprawled across his bed. “Richie, I swear to god, if you don’t stop popping that gum I will literally strangle you with it!” The boy hissed, causing Richie’s eyes to widen with a loud laugh to follow. Eddie rolled his eyes and turned back to the desk where he read the same problem over again for the third time. 

Keep reading

Taeyang as a boyfriend. [SF9]

He would be sexy and sweet. The best of both worlds.

  • Sunshine in a bottle.
  • Impossible to feel down around.
  • The best at knowing just how you are feeling without you having to say a word. 
  • Always knows exactly what you need.
  • Super attuned to your feelings.
  • Sensitive, always shares your pains and worries.
  • Super romantic. 
  • Like.. fairy tale romantic. 
  • He would take you dancing all the time. 
  • Always knows just how to please you.
  • Always shows you the most beautiful side of everything.
  • He would always be optimistic.
  • Always finds the positive in any situation.
  • Treats you like royalty.
  • In public, he would display just the right amount of affection.
  • Just enough to let others know that you are his. 
  • Hand holding, an arm around your waist, sweet kisses on your cheek.
  • He would tuck your hair behind your ear gently, so he could see your face better. ~swooon~
  • Tons of small gestures to show his affections.
  • Always a perfect gentleman.
  • Excellent manners.
  • Never lets you pay for anything.
  • Super dreamy.
  • He would sweep you off of your feet.
  • He would be super flirty though.
  • You would feel that you would have to watch him closely, but he would never cross the line.
  • Extremely loyal.
  • In private, he would kick up the sex appeal.
  • The lip biting and the way he moves his body is enough to drive you wild. 
  • Intimate moments would move quickly, but he would never push you.
  • Even those moments would be beautiful.
  • He would be the perfect mixture of caring lover and playful tease.
  • Each time would be a slightly different experience.
  • Yet he would always be super sweet.
  • Always holding and kissing you.
  • He would always want to be near you.
  • He would take you to meet everyone almost immediately.
  • Every friend and family member. 
  • But he would be super protective of you.
  • Not because he didn’t trust you or them, but just because you are his. 
  • You would be his sunshine, just as he is yours.

Originally posted by ienseong

-Admin Jessie-

A Maze of Choices...

I didn’t attend the 2017 San Diego Comic Con. Actually, I have never attended a comic con before and I know very little about them other than what I have read and experienced through my cosplay son. So, you can say, that I lived the con through the many who posted pictures and wrote of their personal experiences on social media. Also included in that information is the multitude of professional photographs and celebrity interviews and a lot of articles written and published by other “news” organizations. Some of the later are pretty shady which is why I used the quotation marks - these often called “click bait”. So… I had a ton of sources from which I could gain the knowledge of a comic con and what part Outlander played in it all. And, unless you attended it yourself, this speaks of your experience too.
I am not interested in the con info unless it related to Outlander and especially, Sam and Cait. So, I started sifting through the maze of pictures; interviews; blogs; and articles, hoping to see a true picture of Sam and Cait’s time at comic con.
Well, it reminded me quickly, of googling a name on the Internet, and trying to decide what was true and what wasn’t. It became a huge endeavor and I had to soon, make a decision. I had to formulate in my own mind what was important, true, and believable. To do that, I stopped reading and looking.
I have been in this fandom now for about two years, not long, but long enough to know what speaks truly of Sam and Cait and those a part of the world of Outlander. And if you haven’t had enough yourself, here is what I came up with.

1. Like I had already determined, Sam and Cait are embroiled in, what I see, as a no win situation. A shadow game of disguising what is true about their personal relationship overseen by at least two men who know nothing of what true love is all about. We will never know why this game is being played and who actually started it. What we do know and understand is that real love will not exist this way for long. I believe that S&C were blindsided with the return of a girl that could never be of interest to Sam (in comparison to the person that is Cait) and it greatly effected Cait this time (referenced by the pictures of Cait on the red carpet). This was “obvious”.
2. Already determined, Cait and Sam talk in innuendo and clue. Their responses in interviews and the consequent reactions of fellow cast members tell a very different story than what is being told. All you have to do is watch and you can see it. They were separated from sitting next to each other last weekend because the private bubble that being close creates, is contrary to the current narrative. Even in a large group, Sam and Cait can create an island of their own in which they are the only inhabitants. Every answer they gave on a personal nature was spiked with words and body language that was cryptic and told a different story. Body language alone does not lie. Especially when it comes to Mr. Heughan. He wears his heart on his sleeve and his facial expression cannot tell a lie. Look at the wringing of his hands, holding them in tight fists, his constant rubbing his ring finger. He doesn’t like the position he is in. And for the first time, the stoic and ever confident Cait, couldn’t pretend either.
3. There are a couple of interviewers who should not be allowed to interview the cast of Outlander anymore. They embarrass themselves, the cast, and play against the best thing about the show - it’s fans. I was mad about the letter and I tagged Sam a couple of times about it. I am hoping that he finally says enough. I was also smoked about showing the entire first episode at comic con. All I could think of was fans posting spoilers and I was mad. Come to find out, the fans were awesome about that - a certain interviewer was not. She needs to take a seat and give up this job.
4. My last thought is this dear ones. Take what you know and what you see and count on that. Remember that we know this couple through others who truly know them as people and that is what we should fall back on. We see them in their charity work and how important that involvement is to each of them. And most importantly, we see them together, and who they are in each other’s company. That is something that cannot be faked, no matter how good an actor you are. Their smiles reach their eyes and no other can do that for them. They are so comfortable with each other and when they are together, there’s no one else in the room. Be happy for that. When they are side by side, there is no question that these are two people who worship the other more than anything. You may see them next to others, but they really start living when together. Be your own eyes and ears, and yes, there will always be pictures that disturb and articles that say different, it’s inevitable. But we know, don’t we? They are the fairy tale.

My Fanfics So Far

*Images are not mine*

Series

Pop A Top Again Mini-Series-Part 1-Part 2-Part 3 - Dean x Reader - Fluff, Eventual Smut, NSFW, COMPLETE

Reader’s old flame, Dean Winchester invites you up to his winter cabin to go fishing.  Is he just looking for a friendly chat, a hookup, or will it be something more?

Drunk on You Series - Dean x Reader - Smut, NSFW, Angst, Depression, COMPLETE

Dean meets Jo’s childhood best friend at a bonfire.  Drama between Jo and Reader results.  Dean and Reader’s relationship plays out.  Will it survive the drama or will the drama be the end of them?

Discoveries Series - Bi!Reader x Dean, Bi!Reader x Sam - Smut, NSFW, masturbation, oral sex, Daddy!Kink, Flirting, Drinking, Sexually Suggestive Language, Angst, Fem/Fem, IN PROGRESS

The reader gets the boys assistance in exploring a whole new set of experiences.

One Piece At A Time Mini-Series - Chapter 1 - POV Baby - Fluff, minor character death mentioned, tiny bit of angst, IN PROGRESS

The story of putting together a family, one piece at a time.

Dean x Reader Fics

Up to No Good - Dean x Reader - Fluff, Foreplay, Smut, NSFW

Dean decides to have a little fun.  The reader decides to tag along, mischief follows.

Mine Now, Mine Always - Jealous Dom!Dean x Reader - Smut, Dom!Dean, NSFW

Jealous, smutty Dom!Dean.  

Come and Get It - Dean x Reader - Smut, NSFW

Dean and the reader have been flirting for weeks with no action.  Well, that’s all about to change.

Parchment & Passion - Dean x Reader - Smut, NSFW

Reader works in a library and Dean drops in to visit.

Mr. Man - Dean x Reader - Fluff

Reader’s car breaks down and Dean helps her out.  The reader ends up with a Christmas surprise.

Fire Your Guns - Dean x Reader - Dean POV, Smut, NSFW, male perspective smut and thought process, unprotected sex, oral sex, Impala sex, Canon level violence

Dean runs into a blast from the past during a vamp hunt, however, neither one of them clearly remembers the past.  They give each other a little help in remembering what happened the first time they met.

Night Out - Dean x Reader, briefly Sam, OFC Stacey and OFC Heather - Fluff, jealousy, hints at possible smut

A night out at a local bar.

I Can Do It - Dean x Reader, Angst, serious injury during a hunt, loss of hearing

An injury during a hunt leaves the reader permanently out of action, will her relationship with the boys be finished too or will they find a way to make it work?

Shut Up and Drive - Dean x Reader, Smut, NSFW

The reader can’t help but be curious as to just what Dean is up to when he playfully gets her behind the wheel of Baby. But when a juvenile Dean is suddenly very mature, she will never forget what it was like to push Baby’s pedal to the metal and drive.

Jensen x Reader Fics

Paralyzer - Jensen x Reader - Angst, Drinking

The reader sees Jensen in a club and is mesmerized by him but doesn’t feel that she is worthy of him.

When In Rome - Jensen x Reader - Smut/Fluff

Jensen meets the reader before/during Jibcon and one night leads to some unexpected actions.

So Lucky - Jensen x Reader x Danneel, Jensen x Reader, Danneel x Reader - Smut, PWP, NSFW, Fem/Fem, Threesome, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex

The Ackles like to keep things interesting and they decide to let you in on just how they achieve that goal.

‘Til Next Time - Jensen x Reader, Smut, NSFW, Dom!Jensen, Light Bondage, Drinking, Sub!Reader

The reader starts a new job next door to a brewery, which Jensen just happens to be the owner of.

Sam x Reader Fics

Moon Flower - Sam x Reader - Fluff

You have been married to Sam Winchester for a wonderfully amazing five years.  The good times have been like a fairy tale, but you have had your share of bad times too.  You have been by Sam’s side through many of his friends and loved one’s deaths in the past five years.  It hasn’t been easy on either of you and you have learned to lean on each other for support.

One Single Yesterday - Sam x Reader (kind of) - **TRIGGERS! Angst, failed marriage, cheating, mental abuse, mention of sexual abuse

After five years of marriage, the reader cannot do it anymore.  Luckily, she has Sam to help her out and keep her safe.

Play With Me - Sam x Reader - Smut, NSFW, Masturbation, Fingering, Dom!Sam, Sir!Kink, Unprotected Sex, Fluff

Sam finds a tipsy reader in the bunker’s library and decides to “play” along to get her to do what he wants her to.

Waves and Rocks - Sam x Reader - Angst, Jilted Bride, Metaphors and Analyzing Life, Sappiness, and perhaps a little fluff

Being left at the alter left you feeling like the world was crashing down on you, much like the waves of the ocean crashing against the rocks. As you start to see that it is more than being left at the alter that is bothering you, a stranger comes along and offers to help you find your happiness again.

Jared x Reader Fics

The Surprise Party - Jared x Reader - Fluff

You have been working with Jared on the set of SPN for four years and decide that this year you are going to do something special for your friend’s birthday. 

Slowly - Jared x Reader - Sensual/Smut Adjacent

Sometimes it takes a new location, a new appreciation of art, or a stranger to make us look at the world in a new way.

Choose Your Winchester Fics

Pain Relief - Winchester x Reader - Smut, NSFW, unprotected sex, fingering, sex with stranger, drunk sex, divorce (mentioned briefly), cheating (mentioned briefly)

After a divorce, the reader is in a bar alone.  She sees a Winchester and with no words spoken, they manage to connect.  Smut ensues.

Cas x Reader Fics

Lift Me Up - Cas x Reader, Sam, Alex (OC) - **TRIGGERS! Depression, thoughts of suicide (but no action is taken)**, Fluff

After Cas smites the angels and returns to Earth he seeks out help at a local crisis center.  The counselor on duty at the time is the Reader.  Cas and the Reader spend time discussing what has happened to him and form a bond and Cas discovers a whole new set of emotions.

The Cherry on Top - Cas x Reader, Sam, Dean - Smluff, Flirting, Teasing, Foreplay

Cas has been flirting with you for months and refuses to make a move. Will you be able to get him to tell you how he truly feels?

Multiple Pairing and Other Character Fics

Hood - Crowley x Reader/Dean x Reader

The reader is betrothed to the Prince of Hell, Crowley, but then crosses paths with someone she knew during childhood.  Now she must decide which path the rest of her life will follow and deal with the consequences that will result from her decision.

Help Wanted - Lucifer x Reader, Sam x Reader - Mentions of prostitution

The reader is down on her luck and ends up stumbling across Lucifer’s establishment, connects with Lucifer, but something isn’t quite right.   What will she do when she finds out the truth?

Bravery and Broken Bottles - Jo x Reader, Smut, NSFW, Flirting, Fingering, Fem/Fem

When being stood up leaves a bad taste in the Reader’s mouth, she decides to swear off all men. Jo sees this as one door closing and another one opening and takes the opportunity to help the reader see that there are other ways to get what she is searching for.

Non-Pairing/General Fics

Harvest - No Pairing, Reader (Y/N), Dean, Sam, Bobby, Farmer AU

You inherited your Daddy’s farm and Dean, Sam and Bobby move in to help you take care of the land. 

That Magic Creek Water - No Pairing, Dean POV

Dean reminiscing about times with Sam at Scribner Creek.

Nut Up or Shut Up - No Pairing, Reader (Y/N), Dean, Sam, Crowley

Sam finds a case that winds up being a coven of witches possessed by demons and the boys decide to call in Crowley to help out.  The reader and Dean both wind up cursed and the cure puts them in a rather intimate situation.

Sugar Plum Fairies - No Pairing, Sister!Reader, Dean, Sam, Bobby, Annabelle (Winchester niece - OC) - Fluff

The reader has to get her daughter to Christmas recital but when she forgets an important item at home, she has to rely on her brothers, Sam and Dean, for help.

MOW Fics

The Doepointe Disappearances - Dean, Sam, Reader, Spirit (Briefly Suzy, Brad, Bill, and Mom; Greg and Alex Doepointe – All OC’s) - Missing children, vengeful spirit

The reader is a long time hunter. Travels through a town and hears about a case.  While working the case, crosses path with Sam and Dean.

CYOSA Fics

More Than One Way to Fight - November CYOSA - Reader, Dean, Sam (captured by the vamps), (Dead vampires- Trudy, Stephen, Leon, Frank, and Marcus!) - and the head count just keeps rising. Daniel (captured by Dean), Nayan, Leather-clad goons Claude and Clive, and 4 other random vampires.

You’re going on vacation! A break! You’ve totally lined up a whole break! Yay! It’s starting right after this hunt…or at least you hope so.

Truth or Dare: Part 5: Y/N picks Truth-March CYOSA- Dean, Leah, Sam, and Reader - NSFW, Smut, Explicit Talk of Oral Sex, Groping, and a little Fem/Fem action.

A Game of Truth or Dare starts to heat up.

Drabbles

She What?!

Peppermint Sam

Tangled Together

Woven

Not So Bad

A frappu-what-o?

Jellybeans and G-Strings

Sweltering

Pieces, Scattered

Tumbling in Dean’s Room

Buckaroo

Wonder

We are not a fairytale ending.

We are bad timing and miscommunication.
Our happily ever after begins with the word almost. There’s no “true loves kiss” for us but rather, a kiss we didn’t know was our last. Our story doesn’t end with us walking hand-in-hand into the sunset.

Our story ends with both of us realising: we were the villains all along. Our story ends with two separate people who were once one.

Our story ends.

—  Once Upon A Time…