the other is a muppet

Cooking Shows I’d Want To Watch:
  • Two chefs are given what the average person visiting a food shelf for a family of four might be given. They must make five delicious meals from it, with a little help from the /very/ limited (Flour, salt, black pepper, red pepper, garlic powder, sugar, baking soda), pantry, within the thirty minute time limit.
  • Chefs who don’t normally cook kosher are given a quick lesson in what is kosher. They are then given a basket of theme ingredients, or maybe an Iron Chef style single ingredient, and they must make a delicious meal from it while following the rules of kosher within the thirty minute time limit.
  • The chef is given a judging panel of four people with dietary restrictions, either due to allergies, or religious or moral reasons. They must make a meal that the whole panel can eat and enjoy in the thirty minute time limit.
  • Michelin star rated chefs are pitted against each other, having to cook dishes, 3-7 year old children and their parents, both enjoy. So the parents can’t influence the kids to try stuff, the panels are served separately.
  • Anthony Bourdain, and Gordon Ramsay. Sesame Street. Basically, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain compete against each other for a panel of judges in a format similar to Iron Chef. The secret ingredient is some kind of vegetable or other food kids don’t eat. The Sesame Street muppets, probably either Abby Cadabby, Big Bird, Elmo, or Cookie Monster, play the role of the floor reporters, Kermit, Bert, and Ernie are the commentators. The panel of judges, a group of young children, decide the winner. Whomever wins gets $10,000 to donate to a children’s related charity of their choice.

🎁 May 24rd • The Matsuno Brother’s Birthday 🎁

  • Dick: I want my allowance in college credits this month
  • ---
  • Jason: I will literally do all your homework if you give me that cookie
  • Tim: Liar, you don't even do your own fucking homework
  • ---
  • Steph: *seconds after receiving a math test* what the hell
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  • Duke: I actually bought two hamsters. I named them both after the Muppets. They ate each other.
  • ---
  • Tim: I don't have enough upper body leg
  • ---
  • Damian: I drew a dead guy. Someone put it on the fridge this morning.
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  • Dick: Literally all I've a learned since last summer is that poptarts taste the best when they're warm.
  • ---
  • Cass: Here is your gym credit *flexes muscles*
  • ---
  • Jason: *writing in red pen* Viva La Revolution
  • ---
  • Tim: I had a tan, but it's gone now. My tan vanishe- guYs, ohmygod, it tan-ished. Guys. Guys. It tan-ished.
  • ---
  • Damian: I really hope I run into our Spanish teacher in a Walgreen's parking lot one day. She can catch these hands.
  • Cass: She's old.
  • Damian: So is Satan. It's not a coincidence.
  • ---
  • Steph: How many things do you think I can staple to that guy's jacket before he notices
  • ---
  • Dick: I think we should start a band, I used to play guitar hero a lot so I know what I'm doing
  • ---
  • Duke: This little kid just asked me why I'm shaped like this, and honestly I agree

firestarter3d  asked:

Can we hear the full fluffalupagus story because that sounds interesting?

Hello there! For the first time The Gay Wife is answering directly! When my wife started the blog, I told her that I didn’t want any direct hand in it, because I should never be my own editor for the ridiculous shit I say. But, I didn’t want to pass this (rather unremarkable) story on secondhand. 

So I work retail in a very small downtown shop. We get a fair amount of business men coming in on their lunch breaks to run fast errands. Usually these guys make me gnash my teeth, because they are always in a hurry to be assholes to me. Not all of them, but most.

So these two neatly dressed, trim, 30-somethings walk in all tucked inside their business causal suits and I am fully expecting to get the pass-by. But then we were talking, and they were ribbing on each other, and it was sweet, and we got on Muppets? Somehow? And I mentioned I love Fozzy Bear. 

The older, more severe looking man looked at me, and said, “Now I hope this won’t be offensive to you—” 

And I swallow pure acid because 100-fucking-percent it was going to be offensive. 

And he says something like, “I always tell this hyper religious co-worker of mine, a real piece of work, that he is more than welcome to believe in Mr. Snuffleupagus, but I am the rest of Sesame street, and I don’t see him. You may see God, but I don’t see him. So I send him pictures of Mr. Snuffleupagus when he gets on his high horse.” 

The man’s friend made a few remarks about how that isn’t all that cool, and yeah I kinda agreed but what the hell did I know anyway? So instead I say, “Yeah, but Mr. Snuffleupagus is real. They said so in a 1985 episode.”

The man looked at me like I had just smacked him with a halibut. His whole center of stuffy office atheism had been thrown off his axis. He immediately started asking for proof and links and for evidence. I provided. His friend was declaring that he was going to tell this fellow office member that he was right all along. And if that was true, what of God? Was the Divine Muppet there in front of you the whole time, but you weren’t looking? Is God a droopy-eyed anteater-elephant that is always just right there, but you were too busy ‘humoring’ the ‘believers?’ Maybe this is your sign Greg??? 

I swear I saw this information wash over the man like a dramatic crash of the immortal sea against a once proud cliff face. Totems were falling. The castles of his mind were crumbing into dust. He saw every shitty thing he ever said to this other man flash before his eyes. It was vivid play of images of Mr. Snuffleupagus with the words SHAME and BELIEVE flashing over the Muppet’s face. 

Anyway, they paid for their cards and I thanked them for shopping local and had to wonder what I had wrought on a nameless office, in a nameless space, where Mr. Snuffleupagus would forever be watching. 

you: kermit and miss piggy are a timeless couple and are exempt from their character flaws because of nostalgia, so you can’t not ship them

me, an intellectual: while it’s okay to ship them together, kermit and miss piggy’s relationship is immensely flawed and they can, at times, be very bad for each other. in fact, in a lot of the muppet movies it’s presented as mostly physical attraction or attraction brought on by the heat of impending danger – attraction that may later fade after things calm down. also to note, really only until the 2015 muppet show did we really have kermit express what it is he sees in her. most of their interactions are negative what with piggy throwing herself at kermit, physically assaulting him, and kermit making jokes at her expense or expressing the little faith he has in her. only in recent years has kermit been nicer to her, and that went kind of out the window with muppets 2015, as they went right back to being downright mean to one another. another notable concept is that kermit displays most of the qualities of a closeted gay man: he frequently falls in love with piggy and then is very unsure and uncomfortable about it moments later like he regretted getting into it, he doesn’t often return flirtatious behavior directed at him from women, he loosens up and is more apt to talk about his intimate feelings around male characters (he’s had a few soul-bearing scenes with rowlf, gonzo, and fozzie in particular) and is even more physically affectionate with male muppet characters (he has no shame in giving gonzo a tearful hug in muppets from space, petting rowlf in the tavern, yet is extremely awkward around piggy unless it’s a dance number or performance). however, their relationship is iconic and physically they have a pleasant aesthetic that’s reminiscent of old hollywood couples (in their prime). you still cannot let nostalgia blind you to negative character development though, and while shipping them is perfectly fine you cannot be totally blind to the highly visible problems in their relationship.

A Visit To The Past (Part II)

It’s been requested many times so here it is. Hope you enjoy it. x 

(Part I)

 "It’s on September 21st.“

  Harry can’t quite put a finger on the way his sister looks at him. Her thick brows pulled together and she’s biting the inside of her cheek. Anne’s asleep in her room, it’s 2 am in the morning and two siblings are having a heart to heart session. Gemma sighs after taking a little time to think about all the things Harry said. "How do you even know the date Harry? I’m sure she hasn’t send you an invitation.” Harry is a little taken aback, he is not expecting her first reaction to be this.

Keep reading

I am consistently amazed by how the Long John Silver of Black Sails and Muppet Treasure Island feel like an extension of one another

like they weirdly have the same energy, identical curly black hair, charismatic smile and change-on-a-dime emotional moments


i deliberated over posting this since it’s kind of just a polished up version of the previous post but eh, i enjoyed drawing it. the idea is that in the top image you can read the three poses in sequence left-to-right like three animation keys… it’s a little inspired by (but is obviously not as accomplished as!) Sam Davies’ lovely comics. I really can’t praise Sam’s work enough, I find it so appealing! The designs, linework & colours are always on point and narrative element reads amazingly well.

Also - I settled on no-nose since I was finding it cluttered up the face too much. She (& other characters in this universe) can end up looking a bit muppet-y as a result but I kind of don’t care. Ultimately as long as it reads, it reads, I guess!

  • Disney: we just don't know why the muppets haven't been successful lately????????
  • The Muppets in their one season ABC sitcom worked on by two guys from the Big Bang Theory: Kermit the frog and other Muppets have active sex lives and you're gonna hear about it every episode